Pokémon How to catch a falling star

[Theboxcatgamr]

Prologue:

A haze filled a teenagers mind as he dreamed of a long lost friend. He was running trying to catch up to his old friend only for him to trip and fall right before something took him. Crying he slammed the ground over and over. He had once again been too late.


BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE- *CRUNCH!*


A hand slammed down on the alarm clock as the man slowly began processing his surroundings.


(Ok roof? Still that shitty popcorn stuff. Check. Alarm?)


The teen looked over to his brutalized nightstand and the only bits remaining of his cheep alarm were the plastic display and the power cord that sparked dangerously


(Shit. Must've broke it while thrashing. Oh well. Always hated these things anyway. Check. Alright, name? Darcy hakshaw, occupation is doctors assistant. Code name "pecker checker" Ugh all in order. We are go for tinkle time)


The teen rose sluggishly from his bed and gracefully evaded shards of plastic and broken alarm clocks as he made his way to the bathroom-


"OW FUCK!"


Well as gracefully as Darcy could. Yanking the plastic out of his foot and quickly finishing his bathroom business Darcy put on his jeans and socks as he looked at a photo of his missing friend hung up on the wall.


(...fuck I miss you Andy. You always knew exactly what to do. Anyway time to open up that account at the bank.)


As Darcy finished that thought and completed his trademark outfit (jeans and a muscle shirt how revolutionary) he made his way to his old beat up car and started it up. With a smash and a bang it started relatively easy compared to most other times. Darcy made his way to the bank unaware of what the world had in store for him.





30 minutes later





"Well that was surprising easy. It's almost like they WANTED to take my money. Wild."


The wind was starting to pick up to an uncomfortable level for Darcy as he eventually was thrown to the ground as the wind picked up.


(The fuck? They slip me something back there?)


Darcy's thoughts were interrupted by a bright light blinding him


"AH MY FUCKING CORNEAS!"


Trying to go back to safety Darcy blindly felt his way over to the door as the bank barricaded the door.


"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OPEN THE DOOR!"


The sound of the wind was deafening as Darcy turned to the light and began seeing a form taking shape inside. The form had begun changing to something human like. until it opened its eyes


"Shit!"


Then as suddenly as it started it all stopped. Darcy witnessed the lights contents drop onto the ground with all the fanfare of a grape getting caught in the garbage disposal and Darcy took in the naked form of the human dropped before him. Stunned by the event Darcy flinched when the assuredly male body stood up on all fours and spoke


"Hey Darcy. It's been a while"


"...Andy! Fuck! It's really you! What the fuck was that with the light and the wind and-"


"Darcy can I have a blanket or something?"


Happy to oblige Darcy opened his car door and draped the blanket he kept in the back over his friend


"Thank you."


"I just can't believe it's you! What happened?"


"I'll tell you in a bit. But for now can I crash at your place I'm a bit exposed at the moment"


"Absolutely! Get in my car. I'll call in and tell work something came up."


Darcy awkwardly helped his friend to his feet before he stumbled a bit while disoriented. Catching his friend Darcy helped Andy into the passenger seat. Darcy started the car and left the bank as a very scared and confused teller quickly turned the sign to closed


"Andy. I love you man but what the fuck happened? It's been a literal year!"


"Alright alright I'll tell you. It all started one night while I was sleeping. I heard a voice call out for help..."

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

Darcy wondered if his friend was mentally sound as Andy finished his story of how he had saved the world.


"So let me go back and process exactly what you just told me."


"Sure. Go for it."



"Ok. So you somehow got dragged into a grim future where you and some other guy-"


"Pokémon"


"Right some Pokémon called Grovyle or something. And you were with him trying to get time gears so you could stop the dark future from happening?"





"Right"


"And then after getting shoved into a portal you lost your memories of everything until you came back a few moments ago?"


"Yes that's what I said."


"And you have a partner who promised to bring you back somehow and they helped you become some sort of adventure guy?"



"That's Explorer to you "pecker checker"." Andy said devilishly


"Oh for fucks sake it's part of the job! Stop calling me that."


"Fine. Continue."


"And you lived in a guild for the last year where you grew strong."


"Yep that about sums it up."


"Dude...if it weren't for the fact that I looked all over New York for you and that display at the bank I'm not sure I would have believed you."


"It's the truth Darcy. But anyway until Sammy gets me back I'm stuck here with you."


"So you aren't back for good?"


“Darcy I'm sorry but they need me! We haven't even found out who was pulling the strings yet!"


"Dude. You can't just do this to me."


"What?"


"Do you know how long I looked for you? I looked for months! And now as soon as I have you back you tell me your leaving? That's fucking cruel dude."


"Darcy..."


"Andy. You're like a brother to me. When everyone else left me to die back in Brooklyn you were there for me. I don't think."


Darcy stopped and a few tears escaped his eyes


"Fuck. I don't think I could go through that again Andy. Out of everyone in the world your the only one who can make the voices stop."


"Darcy..."


As the weight of Darcy's sorrows bore down on Andy they pulled into the parking lot near Darcy's apartment and Darcy wiped a tear before getting out of the car


"Andy I want you to promise me something."


"Yeah Darcy?"


"I want you to live with me before you leave. Now that I know that... you can't stay but i want to do as much as I can with you while you still have time."


"...alright. I'll do it."


"Thank you. Now can you walk or do you need help?"


"I haven't walked on two legs for a while so I'll take you up on that."


Opening the passenger side door, Darcy helped Andy out of his seat and allowed Andy to lean on him as they walked inside of the crowded building.


"...why's everyone staring at me?"


"Dude. Your kinda running running loose right now. Just please try to hurry up before-"


"DARCY WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"


"Oh here we go."


A large greasy man in shorts and a stained white shirt stomped up to Andy and Darcy


"Why are you bringing a naked vagrant inside of MY building?" The large man screamed


"Ozzy I just found my old friend naked and afraid on the streets! I'd be dammed if I let him freeze out there-"


"Do I look like I give a shit? If he isn't gone by tomorrow you can sleep on the streets too!"


"Ozzy that's not what we agreed on in our contract!"


"Do I need to get my brother involved?" The man growled out


"...no"


"Then get him the fuck out of my building!"


"Hell no! I'm going to get him some clothes now. And if you so much as touch Andy I'll tell the cops about your little "side gig" you have going on in the basement."


"You little fucker. You need to learn to respect your elders!"


"And you need to shove it up your ass. Andy let's go."


Rushing past the greasy man they both walked up the stairs of the old apartment building



"Darcy who was that?"


"That. Was your first encounter with Oswald the grease-trap. Basterd extraordinaire and part time meth enthusiast."


"Oh...can he do anything to me?"


"Not without cops and a warrant. But he doesn't have the balls to pull that while he has a meth lab in the basement."


"You live like this?"


"Better then sleeping on piles of hay. Come on in. I'll show you my pad."


As Darcy unlocked his bachelors pad the door opened to reveal a small room with a stove and a king size bed. Beyond those their wasn't much in the way of anything inside except a few broken alarm clocks, a nightstand and a small wardrobe


"What's with the broken clocks?"


"Oh I have a really bad habit of destroying whatever wakes me up. It's gotten worse lately."


"I see."


"Anyways I'm going to get you some underpants and some regular pants. Have a look around if you want." Darcy said while opening the wardrobe


Andy looked around the room more carefully and spotted a small shelf with a candle and photograph on it. Walking slowly up to the shelf he saw an old picture of himself with an engraving in the frame.


(Least we forget?) he thought to himself as he reached out to touch the frame


"Here. Put these boxers on. You can save the world from your nakedness now." Darcy said interrupting Andy


Being handed the boxers Andy began putting them on. After five minutes of trial and error he emerged from the blanket with his privates covered


"Finally. Won't have to look at your ass."


"And the world is worse off for it."


"Ooh seems like your time in magical monster world gave you a sense of humour!"


"Only around you baby." Andy said while shooting two finger guns at Darcy and nearly falling over


"Alright. So now that you have underwear and we have a bit...wanna get something to eat?"


"That sounds great. Honestly I haven't eaten anything since we went to the tower."


"Alright! What do you want?"


"It's been a long time since I had a pizza."


"One pizza coming up! I'll call johns. While I'm on that try to put on these shorts. I know it's not your style but it's the only thing I have that will fit you."


Andy nodded and as he tried to put on the shorts he lost balance and bumped into the shelf before regaining his balance and slipping into the shorts. A familiar sound began its call and Andy immediately felt dizzy


"Dude are you alright?!"


Darcy dropped the phone and rushed to his fainting friend when suddenly the moment he touched Andy's arm he heard a sound.


"Darcy let go!" Andy shouted as the screaming got louder


"What the fuck is that sound?!" Darcy said as he tried to cover his ear with his only free hand


It did little to block out the noise. In fact to Darcy it sounded like it was coming from inside his head. Closing his eyes in pain Darcy's grip on Andy only tightened as the scream went on until eventually it started to sound familiar.


"...what the absolute fuck?"


Darcy and Andy were suddenly in a large trashed room with a shadowy figure with a bat destroying everything in sight. A lamp flew at Darcy who flinched only to find the lamp went through him. Darcy tried to shout but was easily drowned out by the figure. Eventually the screaming turned to an ugly sob as the figure clutched a picture frame close to his chest. For the two friends the world started to darken as they both collapsed. Looking around Darcy found he was back in his pad standing over a heavily breathing Andy.


"Wha-"


Darcy was interrupted by a fit of coughing that brought him to his knees. Whatever that experience was it severely drained him of energy. Andy curled up and started crying to Darcy's confusion.


"IM SORRY!" Andy sobbed out


Darcy only continued to cough uncontrollably as the shock slowly died down. Eventually after a few moments of nearly hacking up his lungs, Darcy walked over to his bed and sat down trying to process what just happened. Once the feeling had passed Darcy asked Andy a question.


"Andy. What was that? Wait was that that scream thing that happened?"


Andy only nodded as he continued to cry


"Fuck man. What happened to the ballsy shithead I know and love? You never cry." Darcy said after standing back up


Andy only sobbed out gibberish. Darcy put his hand on Andy's back and startled him.


"Andy. I'm here for you. I don't know what's got you so worked up but fuck it I'm your friend. So come here."


Darcy dropped down beside his friend and hugged Andy as tightly as he could.


"W-What?"


"I'm giving you a hug Andy. Like a regular person. Its really awkward since you're on the floor."


"I-wuh?" Andy stuttered out confused


"Andy if you need a moment take it." Darcy said


"..."


"Kiiiinda looks like we're fucken through not gonna lie."


"Ok I'm fine now!" Andy shot up to Darcy's laughter


"Hahaha! You really haven't changed that much haha!"


"The last person to hold me like that was..."


"Oh. Shit my bad! I just wanted you to stop crying."


"It's fine. But those visions really exhaust me so I'm kinda out of it right now."


"Nothing a nap can't handle. Good thing I kept the bed."


Andy's stomach growled


"...On second thought maybe we should wait for that pizza"


"I second that thought."


"..."


"..."


"...I never finished the call did I?"


"Nope."


"Alright I'll just call again I guess. Anyway you wanted the usual?"


"Yeah...what was that?"


"...Hawaiian." Darcy said while making a strange face



"Oh yeah!"


"Ugh I never understood how you could eat that crap"


"What? It's great!"


"I was always a meat lovers guy so I have to disagree."


"The only meat I ever saw you love was-"


"It was one time! In high school!"


"Then why are you still a "pecker checker"?"


Darcy remained quiet and Andy only giggled mischievously at Darcy's embarrassment until he had a retort.


"At least I didn't wear a diaper all the way through ninth grade." Darcy shot back


"Oh you cheeky basterd!"


"You know what I missed most Andy? This. Just fucking coming out of a Macbeth style breakdown and immediately going for the ribs."


"...yeah I missed this too."


BZZT


"Oh shit that was fast. Alright! Pizza time!"


Darcy opened the door only to go face to face with a man in a black suit


"Mr Hakshaw? May I speak with you for a moment?" The man asked


"What for?"


"My name is Hendric. I'm with the nightly news and we received reports of a disturbance over by the local bank. "Lots of noise and lots of light" as one of the tellers put it. Said you were nearby when it happened."


"..."


"I'm not speaking to the wall sir." The man pressed aggressively


"Come back with a warrant." Darcy said as he shut the door in the mans face


"What was that about?"


"Some guy I don't know. No police badge nothing. Claimed to be with the news." Darcy explained


"Oh."


"Yeah honestly he gave me the creeps so I told him to fuck off-"


BZZT


"Oh for fucks sakes that's probably him again." Darcy said as he walked back up to the door


Opening the door had Darcy face to face with a teenager holding a greasy brown bag


"Are you-"



"I am. Here's fifty dollars to fuck off. Ok?"


"Thank you! Have a nice day!" The delivery man said as he gave the pizza to Darcy


Shutting the door Darcy walked over to the bed and sat down beside Andy as he opened up the bag and took out his pizza. After opening the box he was met with the fragrant smell of meat and cheese



"Jackpot"

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

sorry did that wrong. Next thing will be a real chapter but I accidentally sent one only half done OOPS

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

It was a rough morning for Shelly without Andy. The hustle and bustle of treasure town had never been more dull to the small sea otter as she walked her way through the town in a trance.


"(Sigh). I really miss you Andy. But at least it won't be long before we meet again." Shelly said to herself as she walked past a food stall


"Hey Shelly are you absolutely sure about this? Wish cave is no joke." Grovyle said


"And? This is for Andy. We can bring him back!"


"We could. Or we could rip him away from his life again. Shelly what if he wants to stay?"


"...then I'll respect his wishes. But it won't come to that. He said he only had one friend back home." Shelly said while grabbing a map out of her bag


"Shelly please be reasonable-"


"I am being reasonable. And why are you of all Pokémon protesting this? He was your best friend!"


"Of course I miss him! But what if this isn't what's best for him?! We could end up ruining his life if this "Darcy" he spoke of is actually that close with him! We could ruin two lives!"


"That's just a chance we'll have to take Grovyle! What if he wants to come back! What if "Darcy" isn't a good person?!"


"I'd rather believe Andy. Shelly I know it's been a rough few days but what's wrong? You're never like this!"


"I'm going and that's final!" Shelly said as she stormed away


Grovyle sighed as the small Oshawott angrily pattered away.


"She's going to get herself killed. Oh Arceus I miss you Andy." Grovyle said to himself as he ran after Shelly.

---

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-


*SMACK*


"Ow!"


"Mhf sorry. Force of habit."


Darcy rose slowly to the annoying tone only to realize that slap meant he wasn't alone in his bed.


(WHAT THE FUCK?! Did I have a fucking one night stand or something?! Shit! I am NOT ready to be a dad! Wait. Oh fuck that's NOT a girl. Fuuuuu- wait I'm wearing pants. And that's Andy. Oh right) Darcy thought finally remembering last nights events.


"Ugh. Still better then Loudred I guess" Andy mumbled as he rolled out of bed only to land on the cruel ground


"...dude are you ok? Why did you roll?"


"Force of habit. Well come on then!" Andy said as he sprung up


"For what?"


"Morning...cheers. Oh right. Forgot this isn't the guild."


"You really had a hell of a time over there didn't you?"


"Yeah. I did."


"..."


"..."


"So you said you met someone?" Darcy said with a shit-eating grin


"Yeah. Her name is Shelly...I really miss her"


"...(sigh) I'm sure she misses you too dude. Though I'm happy you actually found someone."


"Thanks..."


"...What's she like?"


"She is smart. Like SUPER smart! Always getting us out of trouble...although most times we were only there in the first place because of her, heh. And loyal. She straight up fought a god of time with me. That's not something just anyone dose."


"Damn. Figures."


"Figures? What figures?"


"It figures that somehow you'd fucken pull some magic mc muffin bullshit just to win a bet."


"Bet? Oh dude that was ages ago! How the heck do you still remember that?"


"I remembered it because it was your bet."


"Oh..."


"Yeah. Anyway we’re going to soup to buy you some clothes.”


“why are we buying clothes at soup?”

(do not say fuck you. For the love of god DO NOT)

“fu-er. We need to get you some of your own clothes. Come on you can tell me more about this “Shelly” in the car.”

“her name isn’t Sammy. That’s just a nickname I gave her. Her real name is Shel- oh you got it right.”

“Of course I did. Where did you pull Sammy from?”

“When I first came here I mentioned the name. I assumed you would hear it.”

“oh no I was freaking the absolute FUCK out and couldn’t really hear anything.” Darcy said as he grabbed his keys


“huh. Well anyway she’s adorable and I love her for who she is.” Andy said as Darcy helped him into a shirt

“Good for you then. I’m happy you found someone!…by the way what’s she look like?”

“she’s a Pokémon called an “Oshawott”. Basically a blueish sea otter.”

“…that Kinda makes sense.”

“Exactly how does that make sense?”

“didn’t you break into the otter exhibit at the zoo so you could and I quote “feel their cute lil paws”?”

“…when was this?”

“Round eighth grade. Went on a trip to the zoo and you got banned from it.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Dude you always had a “thing” for otters. It was honestly kinda creepy sometimes. Anyway we should get going. It’s probably gonna take a while to start ol janky.”

As the two opened the door they were met with none other than the Brooklyn bowling ball himself: Ozzy.

“Hakshaw you son of a bitch your rent is late!” Ozzy screamed at Darcy

“You basterd I sent my rent in advance!”

“Tough tits mr “medical man” you know that anything sent before the date of collection is null and void”

“hat’s not what our contract says you fucken shit slider!”

Andy sighed as the twos argument only grew more intense.

(oh well. I guess I can figure out how to put on shoes.) Andy thought as he awkwardly fumbled with a pair of old sneakers.

---

Wish cave

---

The sounds of slashing sounded deep within the cave as Shelly and Grovyle carved their way through the passage.

“that’s the last one I think” Grovyle said relaxing his stance slightly

“Good. I was kind of pushing it there.” Shelly admitted as she put the shell back on and swiftly bit into an Oren berry

“Shelly I’m kinda worried that we might be in over our heads.” Grovyle said as he adjusted his lantern

“we don’t (mphf) have a choice.” Shelly said between bites of her food

“do you want to talk about it?”

“what’s there to talk about? We are in wish cave. We gotta find whoever is granting wishes.”

“Shelly you know that’s not what I meant.”

“well I don’t really care.” Shelly said while looting an unconscious Pokémon

“Don’t be like that.”

“it’s too late. I’m already like that! I always have been the whole time too!”

“Shelly wait!”

“tooooo late!” Shelly said tauntingly as she ran further into the cave.

“(sigh). I wonder what your up to now Andy?” Grovyle wondered to himself

---

Meanwhile In the car on the way back from Soup

---

“♫Taaaaake ooooon meeeee♫“

“♫Take on me♫“

“♫Taaaaaake meeeeeee ooooon♫“

“♫TAKE ON ME♫“

“♫iiiiiill beeeeeee gooooone in a day or TOOOOOOOOOOO-“

---

Wish cave

---

“Probably something heroic as usual” Grovyle said to himself as he rushed after Shelly

Another feral fell to the sea otters blade as she fought as hard as she could against the horde of Pokémon, dodging a thrown rock, Shelly rushed to her next target with all the ferocity of a tsunami.

“Out of my way! I got a friend to save!” Shelly shouted before making contact with her target

the feral was launched back into the rocky wall and began slowly re-evaluating its life choices.

Shelly stopped her rampage for just a moment as she looked at the newly created hole.

“…heh…hehehahaha!”

laughing at the creatures misfortune she didn’t notice the lone Geodude sneaking up on her. Raising a rock up it approached its laughing target and slammed its arm down…only for the swing to be blocked by a green arm.

“Shelly take this seriously! This is a very dangerous place!” Grovyle said before punching out the rock monster

“I know I know but look at him!” Shelly said as she gestured wildly at the Pokémon shaped hole.

“…(snicker)”

“see?!”

“Ugh it’s like something out of an old cartoon!” Grovyle said trying not to break into laughter

“Isn’t that one of those things that Andy showed you?” Shelly asked

“Yeah.”

“…”

“…”

“Aw chin up Grovyle! We’ll see him again. We just need to work for it!” Shelly said with her trademark smirk

“…your right.”

“I know! Grovyle this is our chance to bring him back for real!”

“I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t excite me a little.” Grovyle said

“Well we still got a whole half a cave left to look through. Do we have anymore luminous orbs?”

“three I think. I’m running out of lamp oil though.”

“that’s fine. We still have an escape orb if things get dicey.”

“good. Being stuck in a dark cave sucks.”

Grovyle’s stomach growled.

“Ugh. Forget how much these dungeons take out of me. Think we should break for a minute?”

“really? When we are this close? I want to-“

Shelly’s stomach also growled.

“…fine let’s take ten. Besides Oren berrys aren’t very filling.”

Sitting down they both took off their satchels and rooted through for food

“no…nah not in the mood…hm do we have anyway to cook this rice?”

“No. I don’t think so.” Grovyle said as he bit into a granola bar

“hey where did you get that?”

“The future. This granola bar is the only thing standing in the way between me and a dark future…of being hungry.” Grovyle said before chomping down

“Humph. You always get the good stuff.”

“That’s because I actually learned how to cook unlike someone.”

“Eating a granola bar isn’t cooking.”

“Neither is throwing all the berrys we had into a pot and dumping half on the ground.”

“…”

“Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“…Anyway changing topic. What do you think of this Darcy guy Andy was talking about?” Shelly said changing the subject

“Honestly I don’t really know yet. I have little to no information on him. All I know is that he’s a bit of a “class clown” whatever that is.”

“Honestly I don’t think I like him. Andy said he swore a lot. That’s not something you see often in a good Pokémon.”

“I guess. But still he was with Andy up until we first met.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Andy knew Darcy since he first started going to school.”

“Oh. So practically his whole life then.”

“Yes. Apparently Darcy hit Andy’s bully’s or something. I don’t know the specifics.”

“…So that’s where he got that.”

“Got what?”

“When me and Andy first met I was being shoved around by Zubat and Koffing. He helped me get my treasure back…”

“Yeah that sounds like Andy alright.”

“Do you really think Darcy taught him that?”

“Not intentionally I don’t think but yes.”

“…Grovyle I think I have an idea.”

“Oh Arceus not again” Grovyle said dramatically

“No for real. Hear me out.”

“Ok fine. What is it?”

“What if we brought Darcy along?”

---

The apartment complex

---

“That was so fun!” Andy said as he stepped out of the car

“Yeah! Fuck it’s been ages since we sang together!” Darcy happily said

“Ugh I was worried I had forgotten Take on me. Apparently not!”

“I don’t think you hit a note that high since we were in choir.”

“Speaking of old hobbies did you ever learn how to fence?”

“oof no I did not. I kinda started skipping those after some massive guy bodied me ten to nothing.”

“ooh that’s rough.”

“Yeah but shit happens. I’m not too upset about it. Besides I got into axe throwing a while later.”

“Really? What’s it like?” Andy said as they left the car and started walking over to the building

“Therapeutic. Watching the arc of the axe as it sailed towards my target was very nice. Plus I got to hurl sharp things. You already know that’s a plus!”

“…oh wait Darcy I left the clothes in the car. Hang on I’ll go grab them.” Andy said as he returned to the car

“I’ll head up. Don’t take too long!” Darcy said as he unlocked the car before walking through the doors of the complex

As Darcy entered the building they saw a group of skinny people lining up to the front desk. upon closer inspection Darcy noticed that a majority of the men were twitching…and staring. at the desk was Ozzy with an unusual smirk on his face.

“I don’t like this.” Darcy said as he started backing up

“Boys! Boys! Don’t be so hasty! Come meet my friends!” Ozzy said

“What the fuck Ozzy!”

“Oh I thought I would teach you a little bit about respect.”

Trying to back up Darcy found that three men were blocking the exit.


“You can’t do this!” Darcy said as he looked around for any escape paths

The only thing he saw that was close was the window near the fire escape.

(Oh fuck I’m really going to do this aren’t I…better then whatever that fat fuck has planned.)

“Oh but I can. You have disrespected me for the last time “Snowflake”. I’m going to show you how to act like-“

SMASH!

“Darcy?! What’s going on?!” Andy asked dropping his clothes

“Ozzy has gone fucken crazy!” Darcy said while bloodied

“What the fuck are you standing around for?! After him!” Ozzy shouted from inside the building.

More men were outside and quickly started running after Darcy and Andy

“Shit! Andy come on! take the fire escape!” Darcy said as he scrambled up the old rusty stairs

---

“It won’t be long now. Andy! Soon we’ll have you back!” Grovyle said triumphantly

“Yeah! Come on! We gotta move!” Shelly said as she rushed up the last staircase

the two paused as they spotted a star shaped Pokémon sitting by a pool of water

“…it’s really here.”

“I’ve been waiting for you.” The Pokémon said

“Wait what? How did you know we were coming?” Shelly asked

“Oh I got a visit from a special someone. Said it was a reward for saving the world.”

Grovyle and Shelly said nothing for the longest time…

Then Shelly smirked

"I'm here to make a wish."

"I know. You wanted to bring a friend back."

"Can you do it?" Grovyle asked nervously

"I can but first we must see if he wants to come back. This process is much easier when the target is willing."


"Can we see what he's up to first?" Grovyle asked


"We can. Look into the water. And see that which you have lost."


The water rippled and shook until it showed two tall creatures frantically climbing a set of stairs while others closed in…

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

Hello! As a decently new writer I’m constantly trying to improve myself and the way I write stories. Any criticism (both good and bad) would be appreciated as I’m trying to learn as I go. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed chapter 2

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

“Darcy there’s too many!”

“I know! I know! Fuck! Shit! Keep climbing damn it!”

Only half way up the fire escape the two friends ascended as fast as they could have. Unfortunately for them one of their pursuers had caught up and grabbed Andy’s foot causing him to fall down a few steps

“Hey! Let go!”

“Sorry boy but ol Ozzy offered me a discount!” The man said

The man was interrupted by a foot hitting him in the chest and taking his breath away.

---

Wish cave

---

“Ooh! What’s that guy doing?” Shelly asked Grovyle

“it looks like he has him in some type of hold…wait he’s picking him up!” Grovyle said as they watched the large man pick up the smaller one

they watched in awe as the man was thrown down the metal stairs into the rest of the goons.

“Woah…that’s Darcy?” Shelly asked

“it would appear so.”

“Meh I could take him.” Shelly said snapping back to her old personality

“…wow. It’s been years since I’ve seen Andy like that.” Grovyle said

“Wait that’s Andy?!”

“Yep.”

“He looks so…weird like that.”

the staircase began shaking as the two friends attempted to keep their balance.

“Oh no those stairs won’t hold! What were they thinking!”

“They were surrounded.”

“And? We get surrounded all the time!”

“No you don’t understand. They don’t have any moves to get them out of a situation like that.”

“Wait they can’t use moves?!”

“Nope. Humans don’t have aura like we do…Well maybe Andy dose since he was a Pokémon for a while but he definitely doesn’t have a way to use it.”

“That’s not good! Hey can we make the wish now?” Shelly asked

“you can but I need a bit to charge up the aura.”

“how long?”

“around ten or so minutes.”

“Ok well can we talk to Andy?”

---

(Andy can you hear me?)

“wha? Sammy?”

“Andy we gotta bust a move come on! This fucken mess won’t hold!” Darcy said as he helped his friend up

“Ugh. I think I twisted my ankle!”

“shit! Alright fuck it! I’ll fucken carry you if I have to!”

(Andy we can get you out of there but we need ten minutes!)

“Alright I’ll let Darcy know…wait why are you staring at me like that?”

“your eyes were erm. Glowing.”

“Yeah. Shelly made contact. We need to last for ten minutes.”

“Alright then magic man. Hang on!” Darcy said as he slung Andy over his back

“H-hey are you gonna be fine?”

“it’s like holding a bag of grapes. Now tell me if those fucks are getting close.”

kicking it into high gear Darcy began running up the stairs with Andy on his back.

“D-Darcy two of them are catching up! They have knives!”

“shit! Umm…”

Darcy noticed the rusty bolt holding the bottom part of the fire escape to the top

“Ok I got a plan! But I need to set you down is that fine-“

“Do it!”

Dropping Andy on his feet Darcy starting slamming into the rusty latch holding the stairs together.

---

Wish cave

---

“What’s he doing?! They need to keep climbing!”

(I don’t know but I trust him) Andy responded

“he must see something we don’t. Why’s he attacking that part-“

suddenly with a snap a large portion of the stairs collapsed and Andy started to roll off.

“no!”

“ANDY!”

The large man caught Andy and almost effortlessly pulled him up before helping him up more of the stairs. With the bottom half of the stairs cut off only a few meth heads remained on the fire escape.

“Oh thank Arceus he caught him.” Shelly said with a sigh of relief

“Whew. That was close.” Grovyle let out

Getting close to the top of the apartment they were stopped by two more men who took the roof access.

“Andy we still need a few minutes! You gotta stall for time or something!”

(But what’s going to happen to-)

Darcy suddenly stopped climbing and Andy leaned against the railing for support.

“He isn’t thinking of fighting is he? That staircase can’t take much more before the whole thing falls!”

Darcy started talking to the meth heads blocking his way

“Andy what’s he saying?”

(Can’t talk! Trying to think!)

Andy looked around at the situation until his eyes rested on a screen door beside the stairs

(Darcy! Left!)

the large man shook his head and said something the group couldn’t hear

“What’s going on?” Grovyle asked

Darcy stood in front of Andy defensively as the two men approached. The man on the right started talking with a coy expression on his face. After speaking Darcy looked disgusted

“What’s he saying?”

(I really don’t want to repeat that)

Before Shelly could say anything, Darcy grabbed both men’s heads and slammed them together, effectively knocking both out.

“Woah.”

“Huh. Might have to steal that.” Grovyle said under his breath

(Uh we might be in real trouble here in a sec!)

Darcy looked over at Andy and mouthed out the word “Why?”

“Andy what has gone wrong?” Grovyle asked

(The flat beside us caught fire somehow!)

Darcy awkwardly picked up Andy with a guilty expression.

---

Apartment fire escape

---

“Uh Darcy they want to know what happened in the flat.”

“Ozzy never fixed any of the electrical problems and I guess the carpet in my room finally caught fire.”

“Wait you knew that this would happen and didn’t do anything about it?!”

“I wanted to sue Ozzy after it burnt down! This is just bad timing!” Darcy said as he helped Andy further up the steps

“Dang it Darcy! I’ll yell at you later. We almost made it to the top!”

Skipping a few steps, Darcy practically threw himself and Andy up the last few steps.

CLICK

“Oh shit.” Darcy said as he turned to the sound to find Ozzy on the roof with a gun

“End of the line snowflake.”

“Shelly how long?” Andy whispered

(A minute. Why what’s wrong? It’s only one guy?)

(Shelly that’s a gun! He can kill them both in seconds!)

(WHAT?!)

“I’ve been trying to reason with you Darcy. I’ve let you into MY home. Kept you safe from the world and for what? This disrespect?”

“Respect is earned Ozzy. If you kill me you know this won’t end well for you.”

“oh?”

(Andy it’s time! Back at the fire escape!)

“What about Darcy? I can’t leave him with this guy.” Andy whispered

“Got something to say shithead?” Ozzy said pointing the gun at Andy

Darcy immediately stepped in between Andy and the gun protectively.

“Leave him out of this you greasy son of a bitch.”

“Tch. Figures he’d be your little “boyfriend”. I always knew people like you were bad news.”

(He can come with but you need to get him to come willingly.)

“Darcy i think i have a way out but you need to trust me one hundred percent.” Andy said as he slowly backed up to the ledge

“Andy you know I already do but what’s the plan?”

BANG

(WHAT?!)

“AGH! YOU FUCKING PSYCO!” Darcy shouted clutching his bleeding arm

(Arceus! This guy is nuts!) Shelly shouted

CLICK

“you and your friend aren’t going anywhere snowflake. In fact I don’t even need him whoever the fuck he is.” Ozzy said taking aim again

“You won’t lay a goddamn-“

BANG

“OHHOOOO-BITCH!” Darcy said stumbling backwards into Andy before covering his bleeding leg

“I’m sorry snowflake I must’ve misheard you. I could have sworn you were threatening me but you wouldn’t do that. You love me too much.” Ozzy said with a sadistic tone

“id rather-“

CLICK

“Snowflake tell me how much you love me.” Ozzy said having finally gone mad with power

Darcy looked back at Andy

“Darcy I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I’m just glad I got to spend as much time with you as I did. You got people relying on you back-“

“THAT DOSENT SOUND LIKE BEGGING DARCY.”

Andy looked at the situation and made his choice.

“Darcy. You are like a brother to me. And we’ll always be family ok?”

“it’s getting kinda dark.” Darcy said softly

“Shelly. Do it.”

(It’s already done. Just below you. You remember how we met?)

“always will.” Andy said leaning back

Of all the possible outcomes. The one Ozzy didn’t expect was for the strange man to jump off the building.

BANG

The bullet hit Darcy’s chest one last time as the two fell into a strange white light.

“…what the fuck?” Ozzy said

a strange wind had picked up out of no where as a blinding light began rising from the ledge

BANG

CLICK

The wind was getting stronger. And bits of blood dropped from the right side of the sphere

BANG

CLICK

A pair of human forms were contained within the sphere of light. One of them was shrinking down into a smaller form while the other one

“AAAAAAAA” Ozzy shouted as he took aim

BANG

The bullet ricocheted off the sphere to Ozzy’s confusion. The wind was starting to push him back now

“FUCK!”

Click-Click

Darcy looked in horror at his empty gun. The wind was deafening at this point and eventually the sphere shot into the sky with a final blast of air that threw Ozzy off his feat.

then as suddenly as it happened it stopped. Ozzy nervously looked around for any sign of life.

“…whew. HA! Even with magic the little shit couldn’t kill me!” Darcy smugly said believing the danger to be over

Opining the roof access door Ozzy was met with a rising flame. Quickly shutting the door he ran to the fire escape only to find the bottom half missing. Spotting a strange shimmering light off the edge Ozzy looked around his surroundings.

“If that ungrateful basterd could do it then so can I!” Ozzy said as he backed up

Huffing, puffing, and out of options. Ozzy ran and jumped off the ledge


“I’m coming for you, you fucking disgrace”

---

Wish cave

---

“Did it work? Is he here?!” Shelly frantically asked

“…yes. He is.”

“WHERE?!”

“calm down. Jeez. He’s on the beach where you met him.”

“YES!”

“Not to ruin the mood but what happened to Darcy?”

---

the sphere flew through the sky rippling the fabric of space as it flew through the air.

“Whoa.” Darcy said admiring the view

“yeah. Always amazes me.” Andy said

“So… your like that for the rest of your life?”

“I am. Honestly I feel better in this body than my old one.”

“I see. So how’s this thing work? Is it going to drop you off and then take me back to New York?”

“…”

“Andy?”

“Darcy this is a one way trip.”

“WHAT?!”

the yellow sphere started to take on a tinge of red

“It was the only way! I thought you knew what I meant when I asked you to trust me!”

“…it’s fine. I’m ok. I… can adjust I guess. So I’m going to change too?”

“yes. Because this place is really dangerous for regular humans.”

“Huh. I…wonder what I’ll be.” Darcy grimy said

more of the red tint overtook the sphere

“Hey is it supposed to do that?” Darcy asked

“…Darcy I need you to grab my arm.”

A large crack appeared in the sphere as it passed over a mountain.

“A-Andy I can’t move my arm!”

“Darcy! No! Not like this!”

SNAP

“hey. Look at me Andy. Look at me!”

“Darcy please! There’s gotta be-“

“listen no matter what happens you gotta move on. It’s not looking so good right now but this will pass.”

“Please! Just-“

The red took over Darcy’s side as the sphere split into two and Andy’s changed direction.

“DARCY!”

Separated from his friend, Darcy looked on at where his sphere was taking him.

“…huh”

he was headed towards a rocky mountain wall.

“Andy…(sigh). alright. I’m ready. Come on you little-”

With a crashing roar, Darcy fell unconscious as the sphere passed through the mountain.

---

Wish cave

---

“So Darcy is here?” Grovyle asked

“he is. I need to talk with him and figure out how I can help. Since I healed his wounds I don’t have the power to transform his core into a Pokémon. I’ll have to improvise.”

“Really? The wish granting Pokémon of infinite power can’t do that?”

“Well Sooooorrrry I’m still awake and helping far beyond what I usually do.”

“Shelly that’s enough. So should we head out and try to find him?” Grovyle asked

“yes. He’s probably going to arrive in the dungeon any-“

BOOM

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

”Oh! He’s earlier then expected. I gotta get over to him and give him a little test to see what he’s like.”

“he took a nasty few hits for Andy. I think he’s pretty nice.” Shelly said confidently

“Oh they were more then “nasty” Shelly. He would have died if we didn’t help.”

“Wait what?!”

“Why do you think I’m having a rough time? It took so much energy to heal him because he bled out on the way down. I literally had to bring him back mid extraction.”

“…oh”

“yeah. Anyway I suppose this is goodbye. After I help Darcy I’m probably gonna to hide somewhere so I can sleep.”

“Aw. Well thank you so much for helping us! We’d never have Andy back without you. If you ever need help you can call on team Rush!”

Grovyle politely nodded as the Pokémon flew upwards and into the water behind them. Then it started changing to a kaleidoscope of colours.

“Woah…”

“Come on Shelly. Let’s go find Darcy.”

---

A strange place

---

“Human…”

“huh?”

“you are quite the strange one aren’t you?”

“Who’s there?”

“who I am is unimportant. But you on the other hand took a bullet for the hero of time.”

“Oh is that what they call him down here?“

“Darcy hakshaw. I’m going to ask you a series of questions. Prepare yourself.”

“Can I say no?”

“No”

“fuck”

The weird water like floor was now showing Darcy’s shadowy reflection

“What kind of job would you prefer?”

“oh that’s kinda strange…Uh I guess one that helps people? It’s kinda why I became a nurse.”

“i see… now it’s raining outside. What do you do?”

the strange place around Darcy seemed to take on a Misty atmosphere.

“I’d grab my umbrella I guess. Got shit to do.”

“interesting response. someone complements you-“

“Nope they’re trying to sell me something. Next!”

“…alright. How do you handle homework?”

“I just try to blast through that bitch so I don’t have to wait.”

“alright. Let’s say Andy made you something REALLY spicy for dinner. Would you eat it even though it’s painful?”


“Oh well crunchity munchity then. You think that would stop me?”

“I suppose not. Your sharing chocolates with some friends. What do you want to try?”


“Definitely a Mars bar. Wait is Andy also eating because if so-“

the voice chuckled at the response

“don’t worry. I understand what you meant. Anyway what do you do with time off?”

“that’s my business. Next?”

“alright. We’ll skip that one. Is it ever worth it to get revenge?”

“Always.”

“hmm. Interesting. Very interesting.”

“is that all?”

“yes. Shame though. You would have made an amazing Dewott.”

“Huh?”

Looking down at his reflection he saw a strange large otter like creature with two shells on its hips before him.

“Huh. smug little fuck isn’t he?”

“that’s what you look like. But healing your wounds took too much energy that you can’t maintain your form.”

“What form?”

Darcy took a step forward but felt odd. Looking over his arm he found a black paw where his was supposed to be

“GYAA!”

“Your human form. Darcy i apologize but inside of dungeons you will have to remain in this form.”

“oh is that a fucken tail?! Oh fuck this is so weird.”

Darcy moved his tail up a bit

“Oh fuck! Oh shit! This is real! Oh god!”

“Darcy you need to calm down.”

“I AM THE OPPOSITE OF CALM RIGHT NOW. I AM A FUCKING SEA OTTER!”

“Darcy you are in a very dangerous place right now and panicking will only get you hurt. I’ll give you a moment to freak out but once it’s over you need to CALM. DOWN.”

Taking full advantage of the situation, Darcy screamed and ran as fast as he could around the endless expanse before him. Eventually he tired himself out and he stopped screaming to lie down.

“Are you feeling better after your little temper tantrum?”

“…yes.”

“good. Now you need to know that you will remain in this form as long as the mystery dungeon has residue on you. Effectively after leaving a dungeon you will need to stay out of dungeons for forty hours to regain your human form. As your tolerance for dungeons increase it may take longer for each dungeon to return to your human form.”

“Ok I can deal with that. It’s not like there’s dungeons everywhere right?”

“They are very common here.”

“SHIT”

Darcy started sinking into the water below him

“Oh what the fuck now?!”

“Now you must be ready for what comes next. As you awaken you will be faced with your first of many challenges. You need to find Andy’s team mates Grovyle and Shelly. Go!”

Darcy sank deep into the water until he started blacking out entirely.

“And welcome to the world of Pokémon.”

“I do not feel very welcome.” Darcy said as he faded out into the void

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

Hi I recently put out chapter three and I’m trying to improve with each chapter. With each chapter I wish to add more words then the last. So for the next chapter I’m shooting for 3500 or more! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

posted half the chapter early again. Oof

 

[Vray]

This episode of Vray's reviews was brought to you, by the word "FUCK!"

But jokes (with some manner of critique) aside, let the prose commence. So I'm going to start by talking about the smaller things I noticed throughout the prologue, namely grammar and prose stuff.

He was running trying to catch up to his old friend only for him to trip and fall right before something took him. Crying he slammed the ground over and over.

So verbs have this sort of thing that when you have two of them together like that, the universe explodes into a spontaneous argument on what's the best way to solve it. Personally, I would do one of the following.
1: Put a comma between the two. "...running, trying..." that way there's a form of distinguishment for a pause.
2: Expand upon the first verb. For example, where is our character running to or after? Example: "...running towards the silhouette, trying to catch up with the form of his old friend..."

Your call of course, but it would help make this section and ones similar to be more readable.

(Ok roof? Still that shitty popcorn stuff. Check. Alarm?)

Alright, so here's a suggestion to help avoid some trouble for you down the road (and technically in this chapter). So, with inner dialogue, it's important for it to have its own distinguishing font or designators in order to distinguish it from any other sort of scene role it plays in the story. Parentheses are a method, however, you later use parentheses for the addition of information for the sentence.

As Darcy finished that thought and completed his trademark outfit (jeans and a muscle shirt how revolutionary)

So, I would definitely not have both of these share the two. My personal suggestion (and this may take a bit of fixing for you, but would be worth it if you ask me) is to replace the (inner dialogue) stuff to be Inner Dialogue instead. That way, it's easy to distinguish between the two and can avoid confusion in case they're very similar in wording or concept.

"Andy. I love you man but what the fuck happened? It's been a literal year!"

So, this right here is a portion of grammar called "Interjection". Interjections are like one-word spots at the front that serve as attention getters, word outbursts, etc. In this case, you would use one of the following, depending on the tone of the specific words. Comma, exclamation mark, and question mark. OXFORD COMMA FOR THE WIN BABY!!!

In this specific case, I'd use a comma or an exclamation mark depending on the level of tone that's being taken. Is he shouting or is it just a gleeful tone?

Now, with some of that out of the way, I'll get one of the bigger points on this chapter. That namely being your dialogue. As it stands right now, the only sort of trait I can certain from your main character is that Darcy is a bit moody. Switching from what seems to be longful sadness to a "Let's go take a piss!" and all that. This isn't a bad thing, but I want to point something out on that. This is the only thing I really could land on this character. From the dialogue in how it's written, it sort of reads like lines in a script. "Time to go to the bank." "Clear to take a piss" stuff that I would say for "placeholder, for better dialogue." (Yes, I did steal this joke from somewhere else).

Now, when writing dialogue for a character, it's important to really ascertain the character's specific "voice". For example, when your character found his friend he was all happy and all that, saying, "I can't believe your here", which kind of doesn't really elaborate on the whole moody aspect. I was half-expecting him to be all over the place on the emotional spectrum. Think of how your character would speak in these scenes and build upon that, trying to fill in the specific personality. It ain't easy and all that, but it is pretty cool when you start to get it down. It takes practice.

Once you have the personality figure out, it can be easier to fill in the dialogue and how this character responds. Let's do some brainstorming right here (and one-sided because Thousand Roads sadly ain't a better form of discord because fuck discord).

"I just can't believe it's you! What happened?"

Let's dissect what's happening here. The friend he'd been chasing in whatever dream/world before and failed to catch has appeared right in front of him. So considering the moody jumpiness of Darcy, I'd imagine the feelings of joy mixed with strong relief and perhaps even wondering if this is a dream would all prop up at the same time, perhaps even overwhelming him.

"I-I...I just can't believe it's you! Like, it's really you! I think? You are really here right? What happened? Are you alright?"

So, basing off my minor additions, what does this add? It shows a shift from extreme joy to perhaps subtle doubt that he's really here before pushing that aside to finally ask for his friend's well-being, as well as bombarding him with questions.

Now, something else important to character writing is body language and gestures. Communication isn't just words after all, so let's see what we can add and perhaps even clarify when we add the following.

"I-I...I just can't believe it's you!" Darcy exclaimed, as his shaky hands pulled the man close. He looked down, his eyes narrowing slightly as he shifted his left under the man's back and pinched his neck. "Okay, so I'm not dreaming," Darcy muttered, as he looked back down to the person, lying naked in his arms. "So it's you. Like, it's really you! I think?"

His eyes widened as he suddenly mounted onto the man, clasping his hands firmly on the shoulders and asking about every question that came to mind. "You are really here right? What happened? Are you alright? Where have you been? It's been a literal year! Why did it take you a year to get back? Wherever it was don't go back there." He hugged the man, who by now had started becoming aware of his surroundings. "I love you man. I'll make sure you don't go"

This clearly conveys a scatterbrained and perhaps struggling reaction to the realization that his friend, who's been gone a year, is right here in front of him. Now, bear in mind this is just an example. Likely, you'll delve into this yourself, and who your character is as a person could be miles different from what I've laid out. The important part is that your character is as a person. It isn't always important to write deep characters for a story, however, I imagine that at least the main or perhaps a prevalent character in a story focused entirely on them would need some form of personality distinction.

With all that being said, twas an interesting read. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting a resolution to it so early (especially not in the prologue). However, I don't think this takes away from the curiosity I have, since now we can hear it straight from the horse's mouth and perhaps it's not as nice as it would seem. Perhaps, this is where we learn of the threat, or perhaps just a recanting of the misadventures of Andy. Either way, a decent start is a good springboard for the potential of the fic. Good luck and I wish you well in your endeavors.

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

This episode of Vray's reviews was brought to you, by the word "FUCK!"

But jokes (with some manner of critique) aside, let the prose commence. So I'm going to start by talking about the smaller things I noticed throughout the prologue, namely grammar and prose stuff.

So verbs have this sort of thing that when you have two of them together like that, the universe explodes into a spontaneous argument on what's the best way to solve it. Personally, I would do one of the following.
1: Put a comma between the two. "...running, trying..." that way there's a form of distinguishment for a pause.
2: Expand upon the first verb. For example, where is our character running to or after? Example: "...running towards the silhouette, trying to catch up with the form of his old friend..."

Your call of course, but it would help make this section and ones similar to be more readable.

Alright, so here's a suggestion to help avoid some trouble for you down the road (and technically in this chapter). So, with inner dialogue, it's important for it to have its own distinguishing font or designators in order to distinguish it from any other sort of scene role it plays in the story. Parentheses are a method, however, you later use parentheses for the addition of information for the sentence.


So, I would definitely not have both of these share the two. My personal suggestion (and this may take a bit of fixing for you, but would be worth it if you ask me) is to replace the (inner dialogue) stuff to be Inner Dialogue instead. That way, it's easy to distinguish between the two and can avoid confusion in case they're very similar in wording or concept.


So, this right here is a portion of grammar called "Interjection". Interjections are like one-word spots at the front that serve as attention getters, word outbursts, etc. In this case, you would use one of the following, depending on the tone of the specific words. Comma, exclamation mark, and question mark. OXFORD COMMA FOR THE WIN BABY!!!

In this specific case, I'd use a comma or an exclamation mark depending on the level of tone that's being taken. Is he shouting or is it just a gleeful tone?

Now, with some of that out of the way, I'll get one of the bigger points on this chapter. That namely being your dialogue. As it stands right now, the only sort of trait I can certain from your main character is that Darcy is a bit moody. Switching from what seems to be longful sadness to a "Let's go take a piss!" and all that. This isn't a bad thing, but I want to point something out on that. This is the only thing I really could land on this character. From the dialogue in how it's written, it sort of reads like lines in a script. "Time to go to the bank." "Clear to take a piss" stuff that I would say for "placeholder, for better dialogue." (Yes, I did steal this joke from somewhere else).

Now, when writing dialogue for a character, it's important to really ascertain the character's specific "voice". For example, when your character found his friend he was all happy and all that, saying, "I can't believe your here", which kind of doesn't really elaborate on the whole moody aspect. I was half-expecting him to be all over the place on the emotional spectrum. Think of how your character would speak in these scenes and build upon that, trying to fill in the specific personality. It ain't easy and all that, but it is pretty cool when you start to get it down. It takes practice.

Once you have the personality figure out, it can be easier to fill in the dialogue and how this character responds. Let's do some brainstorming right here (and one-sided because Thousand Roads sadly ain't a better form of discord because fuck discord).


Let's dissect what's happening here. The friend he'd been chasing in whatever dream/world before and failed to catch has appeared right in front of him. So considering the moody jumpiness of Darcy, I'd imagine the feelings of joy mixed with strong relief and perhaps even wondering if this is a dream would all prop up at the same time, perhaps even overwhelming him.



So, basing off my minor additions, what does this add? It shows a shift from extreme joy to perhaps subtle doubt that he's really here before pushing that aside to finally ask for his friend's well-being, as well as bombarding him with questions.

Now, something else important to character writing is body language and gestures. Communication isn't just words after all, so let's see what we can add and perhaps even clarify when we add the following.



This clearly conveys a scatterbrained and perhaps struggling reaction to the realization that his friend, who's been gone a year, is right here in front of him. Now, bear in mind this is just an example. Likely, you'll delve into this yourself, and who your character is as a person could be miles different from what I've laid out. The important part is that your character is as a person. It isn't always important to write deep characters for a story, however, I imagine that at least the main or perhaps a prevalent character in a story focused entirely on them would need some form of personality distinction.

With all that being said, twas an interesting read. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting a resolution to it so early (especially not in the prologue). However, I don't think this takes away from the curiosity I have, since now we can hear it straight from the horse's mouth and perhaps it's not as nice as it would seem. Perhaps, this is where we learn of the threat, or perhaps just a recanting of the misadventures of Andy. Either way, a decent start is a good springboard for the potential of the fic. Good luck and I wish you well in your endeavors.

Thanks for the feedback! This will really help me out! As the story goes on I plan on editing the previous chapters to make them more appropriate grammar wise (unfortunately not one of my better skills but meh, One day at a time.) as for Darcy’s current…blankness I didn’t really have an idea of what I wanted him to be but at the moment I think I know (emphases on think). most of what I write is about as sudden and deliberate as a giant piano dropping on the sidewalk in a cartoon. Basically the way I write is almost entirely by the seat of my pants as I try to navigate through the possibilities. Rambling sorry. Thank you for this. Also it isn’t exactly solved yet. Got a few tricks up my sleeve yet

 

[Theboxcatgamr]

A gentle dripping sound filled Darcy’s ears as he groaned and turned in his sleep. Feeling something he didn’t recognize on his bed he opened his eyes. It was a rock.

(Ugh fucking rock? Ozzy must’ve broke in again…wait what?)

Darcys eyes shot open and he saw that he was in some sort of strange cave.

(…Oh god it wasn’t a dream. I’m actually in a fucking cave right now. Alright. Play it cool. We just gotta wander around and find whoever the fuck the voice told me too.)

a drop of water fell on Darcy’s head. Looking up he saw some stalactites over his head forming.

(Huh. Neat. Great. Just fucking great.)

Darcy rolled off his back and tried standing up, with some difficulty he was standing. Seeing nothing immediately threatening he took a nervous step forward

Step

(…)

Step

(Alright so far so good…)

Step

(Almost fell over but I think I’m getting a rhythm.)

Step

Step

…

…

Stepstepstepstep

(Yep. Juuuyst going for a nice stroll through this cave nothing wrong with that.)

Stepstepstepste-

Click

“Click? Why click? Do I have claws or some shit?” Darcy said to himself

Sitting down and lifting up his leg he saw that he did indeed have claws.

(Ugh fuck that’s very weird.)

Unfortunately he didn’t register that the sound did not in fact come from his claws hitting the rocky floor. It came from behind him.

Shik

(Ok so clenching the paw let’s out the claw. Hey that rhymed!)

Darcy noticed a strange shadow cast over him.

(…Oh no)

Scrambling to escape the mysterious shadow Darcy found himself hobbling away on all fours.

“Fuckshitshit!”

Turning around Darcy saw a large green spider chasing after him

“OH FUCK! OH GODOHFUCK

---

13 minutes later

---

“…”

“…”

“Are you just going to keep staring at me or are you going to kill me?”

“Rak!”

“I told you I don’t know what the fuck that is. And can you loosen this stuff? It’s kinda stuffy.” Darcy said while wiggling around in the web

“Arak!” The spider shouted as it lightly hit Darcy with its leg

“…I’m not a dog you know.”

“Rak.”

Shik

“the fuck?”

“Arak?”

(…Wait. Claws!)

ShikShikShik

“Arak!” The spider said as it hit him over the head again

(Gonna get it now fuckboy!) Darcy thought to himself

Moving his sharp claws through the web he cut the strand holding him in place and fell to the ground face up. Immediately after freeing himself he was pinned by the spider

“ARAK!” It shouted aggressively

“FUCK YOU!” Darcy shouted as he swiped at the spider in retaliation

Getting cut in the face, the spider stumbled off of Darcy, allowing him to stand up and take an aggressive stance.

“Yeah! Let’s see how you like-“

The spider was hit from the side by a blade of grass and knocked out before Darcy could do anything. Turning to face where the blade came from Darcy saw a small otter rushing him to his confusion. It confused him even more when the otter stopped and pulled a shell off its chest.

“…What?”

“(sigh) false alarm. Just a feral.” the otter said taking an aggressive stance

“I’m sorry wha-“ Darcy got out before being punched in the throat

“GACK!”

“Huh didn’t even try to block that. Strange.”

“Well I guess I was wrong about that being Darcy.”

“hm? Grovyle why hasn’t he disappeared?”

Darcy coughed again trying to catch his breath

“I don’t know. Maybe you didn’t hit it hard enough?”

“I AM DAR-UGH (COUGH)” Darcy tried to get out

“Huh?!”

“…Oh.”

“Got something to share?” The otter asked

“I think he’s trying to tell us he’s Darcy.” Grovyle said uncomfortably

“Ooooh why didn’t he say so?”

“He did. Shelly You punched him in the throat.” Grovyle shot back

“He’s fine. Look at the size of him! He can take a few hits.” The otter said patting Darcy on the back

“…Ugh. Fucker.”

The otter recoiled at the comment.

“Are you ok?” Grovyle asked

“I’m peachy. Thanks for the save back there.” Darcy said

“No problem. So your the one Andy went on and on about.”

“He really talked about me? Huh. Good things I hope.”

“He always said you were the only person he’d go back for.”

“Well I… I guess he doesn’t have to.”

“We need to get going. Here take this.” The otter said as she handed Darcy an orb

“Oh Uh thanks?”

“it’s a cleanse orb. Should get those webs off you.”

“ah ok.”

lifting the orb above his head he put all of his hope and willpower into it.

“…Darcy what are you doing?”

“Magic. What’s it look like?”

“You use orbs by smashing them.” Shelly deadpanned

“…Sure I knew that. I was just winding up.”

“Yeah sure you were”

“…”

Smash

With a burst of light the webbing all over Darcy’s fur disappeared completely.

“huh. This place sure has its fair share of wacky shit.”

“Grovyle. Let’s just use the badge and save an escape orb.”

“Good call. Alright Darcy prepare yourself. We are going to teleport to the guild.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Too late!” Shelly said as she raised her badge and Darcy’s world started turning violently

---

Treasure town market

---

Inside treasure town a Mismagius waited behind a stall, no Pokémon had even come to visit her as she waited behind the splintered wood separating her from her beloved beach spot. With a gentle sigh she took down the open sign and started packing up leg bands

“No luck today?” A friendly voice asked

Turning to face her big sister the Mismagius sighed and shut the case before turning around to explain.

“Nothing again. I think the problem is that Pokémon started getting enchanted bands out of dungeons. It’s cheaper to just find any dusty old thing then buy one these days.” The Mismagius replied

“Oh give them time. Besides no one wants to risk their lives for some silly bits of cloth.”

“Well that’s the thing. They don’t have to.”

“Oh?” The sister inquired with a raised eyebrow

“All anyone has to do is ask an exploration team to find one.”

“That…Is indeed troubling.”

“Annabelle I’m worried that we’ll be bought out again. The Beedrill twins were looking at the stall again.”

Annabelle’s reassuring smile wavered at the mention of the twins

“Oh dear. We need to find something out soon then. I don’t want a repeat of Sudsberry.”

The younger sister shuddered at the memory of being chased out of the city.

“Honestly I still don’t know why you took me under your wing. You knew what would happen if the city found out what i am.”

“I saw potential. And besides shadow Pokémon or not you are the first white hat I’ve seen in centuries. Sister you can really do some good here!” Annabelle

“You never really even explained what it is about that that’s so special. So what if I can feed off positive emotions? It doesn’t really change much.” The ghost Pokémon said

Annabelle gently draped one of her sleeves over her sister.

“Maggy i-“

The conversation was interrupted by a loud gasp and chatter from townsfolk. Looking to the source of the commotion Annabelle looked to the sky just in time to see a bright red falling star crash into the side of Treasure towns famous beach cave.

“Ann was that?”

“Maggy i want you to check out what that was. I’ll finish packing up but I think that was that human that helped save time.” Annabelle said shifting to a more serious tone

“Ann how could you know that?” Maggy asked confused at her sisters confidence

“I don’t. But stars don’t just fall from the sky Maggy! Just hide in a wall or something and scout it out.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I still have to finish the Sandshrew sisters matching scarves so they can explore up north.”

“Fine. I’ll be back shortly.” Maggy said before giving her sister a parting hug and floating off towards the beach

The moment Maggy left Annabelle hastily closed the metal shutters and threw everything off the table. She took out a purple box full of sowing needles and thread and the closed off stall became a flurry of stitching as the elder sister set to work…

---

Wigglytough guild infirmary

---

“Ugh I have GOT to stop drinking on work nights.” Darcy muttered to himself as he slowly woke up

“it sounds like he’s fine. Why did he pass out?” A gentle voice said

“…I’m not in my flat. Wait of course not. I burnt that to the ground. Where am I?”

“your inside the guild infirmary Darcy.” Shelly explained

“Why? Did something happen after the teleport thing?”

“We don’t know. You landed on your head somehow and knocked yourself out.” Grovyle explained

“…That’s been happening a lot recently I suppose.” Darcy said while trying to get up

“woah hang on there. The doc says you still need to be checked out for injuries.”

“I’m a nurse so I think I can decide for myself. Worst I got is a sore throat.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“Actually I don’t think you did.”

“Hey aren’t we forgetting someone?” Darcy asked

“Who?”

“Andy you twat! Where is Andy?! I got separated with him on the way here.”

(Please don’t be dead for the love of fuck.)

“e’s at beach cave supposedly.” Grovyle said

“Then come on! We gotta get him!”

“Darcy we literaly just set you down please be reasonable.”

“No. Now ether I can roll out of this bed-thing and hurt myself on the ground or you can help me up and we can see Andy.”

“…”

THUDD

Darcy rolled out of the bed and fell face first on the ground with all the dignity of the humble atom bomb

“Ok! Ok! We’ll take you! Just stop hurting yourself!” Shelly said exasperated

---

Beach cave

---

“I think he’s inside the dungeon.” Grovyle said

Darcy groaned at the reveal that the cave was a dungeon.

“How could you know-“ Shelly started

Darcy turned her head to the large smoking hole at the top of the cave

“That doesn’t look like a very graceful landing.” Grovyle quipped

“Andy isn’t exactly known for his grace.”

Shelly giggled

“Something you wanna share with the rest of the class?” Darcy asked

“Oh nothing. It’s just when we first met Andy fell on his face constantly. It was partly why I stuck with him.” Shelly reminisced

“yeah. He got brain damage as a kid that completely fucked his balance. Luckily he was fine otherwise but still.” Darcy explained

“…What?” Shelly exclaimed while astonished

“Andy has brain damage. He gets dizzy all the time and has a hell of a time getting up stairs.” Darcy said matter-of-factly

“Oh no…How did-“

“Bully. Sixth grade. Jumped him with his gang of fuckwits and hit Andy with a bat. He went down and hit the curb. He wasn’t ever the same.”

“Those…bastards.”

“Yep. Got a call from his dad at the time saying he wanted to see me. You know the first thing Andy did when I got there?”

“what?”

“He asked if i was alright. He asked if I was ok and if they hurt me. Even when thrown into the mud by those fucks he was still trying to make sure I was ok.” Darcy explained while shaking his head

“Yeah that sounds like Andy alright.”

“yep.” Darcy nodded in agreement

“…What happened to the kids?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“I do.”

“After I left the hospital I walked over to the kids who were responsible. They were in the park playing with an old toy I gave Andy. This naturally sent me over the edge and so I grabbed one of the kids legs and swung him into a lamppost. Spent the rest of the month in juvie.” Darcy said with a chuckle

“What’s juvie?”

“Basically jail for kids.”

“Jail? You were a criminal?” Grovyle interjected

“Yes. Hey if protecting my friend makes me the bad guy then whatever.” Darcy said waving off the topic as he walked up to the cave

“Pokémon don’t just end up in jail for no reason.” Grovyle said while blocking Darcy

“Nope. I don’t know about here but assault back home is pretty serious…If you get caught. The shits were just smart enough to get off scot free because there were no witnesses. Unfortunately for them I didn’t really care about consequences at the time.” Darcy said while trying to step around Grovyle

“So what’s stopping you from turning on us?” Grovyle asked intercepting him

“Where the fuck did this come from? I did my time. I didn’t steal anything and it was a good thing that got me in there anyway. And besides by that logic what’s stopping you from turning on me? I know you were a thief with a bounty.” Darcy shot back

“I did that to save the world!”

“And I went to juvie to save Andy. Speaking of which we should probably stop the pissing contest and get going. I don’t like how long we’ve wasted while Andy is possibly in trouble.” Darcy said as a hint of fear crept in his voice

“Darcy I don’t think you knew this but beach cave is a joke. It’s literally the first dungeon Andy had ever gone to and we blasted through in like five minutes.”

“Yes. A perfectly awake Andy could. But I was knocked out when I first got here. If he also was then he’s vulnerable!” Darcy argued

“I’m sure he’s-“

“He was crashing towards the ground at mach-fuck, crashed through a rock wall at that ludicrous and flew into a dungeon. I’m checking up on him and that’s final.”

Shelly walked into the dungeon with an annoyed expression.

“You barely made it through wish cave. I don’t think you’re ready for a dungeon yet.” Grovyle said shaking his head

“Didn’t you guys literally just say this one was a cake walk? Also you two are strong enough. What’s with the hesitation?”

“It’s not hesitation It’s caution.” Grovyle said

“Oh my word! My heavens! What are you scared of? This?” Darcy mockingly said sticking his paw out and moving his fingers into a specific formation

“…What are you doing?” Grovyle asked

“I’m flipping you off.” Darcy said getting a bit frustrated at his webbed paw’s lack of dexterity

“I have no idea what that means.”

“Oh I thought telling you to go fuck yourself was a universal expression.” Darcy said with a smug grin

“You know I could destroy you easily right?” Grovyle aggressively said while getting in Darcy’s face

“I’m not afraid of your spinach salad looking ass.” Darcy said

The leaf on Grovyle’s arms glowed and instead of attacking Darcy he flung a razor leaf at a nearby tree.

“That’s it? A sharp leaf? Really?”

The tree toppled over in a single clean slice and hit the beach sand with a muffled sound.

(…Oh fuck.)

“…I’d like to apologize.” Darcy sheepishly said as the colour drained from his face

Grovyle’s angry expression shifted to one of smug satisfaction

“Like I said. I could easily destroy you.” Grovyle repeated

“Apparently so.”

“Glad we agree” Grovyle said finally relaxing his stance

“So uh-“

“Go back to town Darcy. We’ll meet you there.” Grovyle said entering the dungeon himself

(Dick) Darcy thought as he began walking towards the cut tree

(Jesus fuck it went straight through like the tree was tissue paper. Ok note to self don’t challenge the giant gecko even if he is a cunt.)

“(groan)”

Looking for the source of the sound, Darcy found a strange purple creature dazed beside the tree

“Shit!” Darcy exclaimed as he rushed to the creature

“Ugh. Is someone there?” A gentle voice asked

“Uh yeah! You ok?” Darcy asked

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just a bit shaken up. Hang on one sec.” the cloak creature said

“I don’t think you can-“

To Darcy’s utter shock the cloak creature gained a light blue glow as it phased through the tree that was pinning it down.

“EH?!” Darcy let out as he tried to step back

Stepping on his own tail Darcy tripped and fell on his rear as the creature turned to face him.

“Oh! Are you ok?” The creature asked holding out a sleeve to help Darcy up

(Ghosts. Literal fucking ghosts. Oh hell what have I gotten myself into.) Darcy erratically thought

Carefully taking the sleeve, Darcy it was made of a strangely leathery fabric that felt completely alien to his senses as he was pulled to his feat by the friendly ghost Pokémon.

“There! All better! Thanks for checking on me. My name is Maggy by the way!” The ghost said as she cheerfully introduced herself

“No problem.” Darcy said fixated on the still glowing sleeve he was holding

“What’s with the thousand yard stare? Something…oh no.” Maggy said her voice slowly turning to a whisper as she spotted what Darcy was staring at

“That’s…Uh cool colour?” Darcy said while baffled

This answer seemed to confuse Maggy

“What? Uh thank you?” Maggy said unable to eloquently respond

“Don’t mention it…Uh is it supposed to be doing that?” Darcy nervously asked as a bit of the blue glow was starting to come from his own paw

Seeing that his own paw was glowing as well she pulled her sleeve away from Darcy. To her shock his Paw continued to glow.

“Oh Arceus…”

(Ok. This is ok. This is fine. This is perfectly normal for me. Yep nothing strange here just a normal guy talking with a ghost that gave me a glowy hand. Perfect just great!) Darcy thought.

“I-I didn’t know there were others who got out of Sudsberry.” The ghost said astonished

“Sudsberry?” Darcy inquired as the glow finally left his paw

“You don’t know?” Maggy asked

“Know what?”

“DARCY I TOLD YOU TO GO BACK TO TOWN!” Grovyle shouted

“WELL SORRY THAT I STOPPED TO HELP SOMEONE YOU TRAPPED UNDERNEATH A FUCKING TREE!” Darcy shouted back

“WHAT?!” Grovyle shouted as he started walking over

“We’ll talk later. Too many eyes. Meet me at Annabelle’s enchanting booth in town tomorrow ok?” The ghost said

“uh alright sure.” Darcy said waving goodbye to the ghost as he walked back to Grovyle

Maggy floated back to treasure town after stealing one last backwards glance at Darcy.

“Someone was hit by the tree?” Grovyle asked all anger gone from his tone

“Yep. Little cloak girl. She fucking phased through it like it was nothing when I got over there! It was crazy!” Darcy said

“Oh a ghost type.” Grovyle said with a sigh of relief

Darcy looked at Grovyle completely dumbfounded by the response.

“Why is that a relief? You just dropped a fucking tree on like a teenager I think.”

“Because I couldn’t really do that much harm. Ghost types usually don’t feel physical pain. And besides their already dead.”

“She didn’t exactly pain free” when she was hit by a tree.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Grovyle said sceptically

“Whatever.I don’t care anymore. I’m officially done with today.” Darcy said throwing up his arms

“Well we got Andy. He’s perfectly fine as evidenced by that display.” Grovyle said pointing Darcy over to a four legged creature with a fin on its head who was in the middle of making out with Shelly

“Oh damn he wasn’t kidding.”

“Kidding about what?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry but uh…” Darcy trailed off not knowing what to say next

Andy and Shelly started rolling around in the sand as they hugged tightly to each other. Both were crying.

“Erm…Should we do something?”

“No. I think they should get it out of their systems.”

a very beat up looking bat crawled out of the cave and weakly flew away from the cave. Eventually a decently sized purple creature began the walk of shame out of the cave as a weak looking balloon like creature shot out after its boss.

“Uh who are they?” Darcy asked

“Don’t know. But they had a grudge against Shelly and Andy for some reason. Andy was unconscious and they looted his bag until we came along. Gave Andy a reviver seed and next thing I knew they were thrown into a wall.” Grovyle explained

“Im not finished yet losers!” The purple creature suddenly shouted as it stuffed a blue berry in its mouth

This broke up the happy reunion as the two Pokémon stood ready to fight.

“Shit!”

“Even you two can’t handle our noxious gas combo!” The creature said evilly as the balloon got into position

“Well I guess this is a good chance to prove yourself rookie…Darcy?” Grovyle said looking around for him

Darcy was running at the creatures

“Oh the idiot!” Grovyle said rushing after him

Darcy got about half way before being side swiped by the bat from earlier

“You won’t even get close to-“

Interrupting the bat’s taunt Darcy lunged at the bat and caught its tail before it could dodge and dragged the bat to the ground. Darcy then held its mouth open and pushed it through the sand force feeding it the coarse material as he dug a small trench. Shocked by Darcy’s strange tactic the balloon creature could only stare and watch as its sand filled friend was then thrown directly at it causing its attack to fly off target. With the attack failed and his his comrades full of sand the purple creature made the decision to slam down an escape orb to flee. His ally’s seeing they had been left behind scrambled to escape the otter

“YOUR GOD DAMN RIGHT IM THE MOTHER FUCKEN SAND MAN BITCH!!! YOU RUN AWAY YOU PUNK ASS BITCHS LETS(inhale) FUCKING(deep inhale) GOOOOOOO!” Darcy shouted to the sky in victory

“Could you please calm down.” Grovyle asked

“So that’s Darcy?”

“Sure is Andy.” Shelly said happily

“Huh. Suits him.”

“Honestly I’m a bit uncomfortable how we are the same species.” Shelly admitted

“My best friend is an otter, my favourite gecko is still kicking and I’m finally back home with you, I’m glad I’m so clumsy I fell in love with you. This is probably the best day of my life” Andy said giving Shelly a peck on the cheek

“Ugh that’s so cheesy!” Shelly said

“Maybe I like cheesy.”

“-ING BULLETS COULDN’T KILL ME! THATS RIGHT FUCKERS DARCY HAKSHAW IS HERE! AND IM GOING TO- ow!”

“Shut up!” Grovyle angrily snapped

“Sorry shutting up now.”