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Pokémon Faux Truths

Introduction and Summary

FauxFox

Wandering Fool
Location
Somewhere, surely.
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. zorua
  2. vulpix
I've been putting this off, but here is the story that I found these forums while creating and based this account around, coincidentally a year after it's initial creation. I will be working on this through NaNoWriMo and beyond, while simultaneously brushing up on my art skills (get it?) to potentially adapt this story into a comic. I know how this story starts, how it will end, and certain events in between. What I don't yet know, however, is how long it will take to get there. This story may end in 20 chapters, maybe in 50, or somewhere between or even beyond. This will be as much of a journey for myself as the writer as I hope it will be for you as the readers.
But no more rambling, because you're here for the summary, and hopefully, the story itself. Without any further ado, I present Faux Truths.


Faux Truths will contain violence, light swearing, and potential abuse. Reader Discretion is advised.
This story would likely be rated at a T, even if the reasons for said rating will not be reached until later chapters.

This is the story of a Zorua with no memories
The voice in his head guiding him on this strange journey

The story of a Vulpix with a love for exploration
Harboring a secret which threatens her way of life

A story of adventure and deception
A story of Faux Truths.
 
Chapter 1: Awakening

FauxFox

Wandering Fool
Location
Somewhere, surely.
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. zorua
  2. vulpix
“Wake up.”

A small figure slowly opened his eyes, groggily glancing around.

"Where am I?" He thought to himself, seeing that he was in an unfamiliar location. "Shouldn’t I be at home?" He pondered, before an alarming question popped into his head. "Where is my home? Why can't I remember it?" He pushed himself up onto two legs, startled by how little he remembered. However, he quickly lost balance, falling face-first into the pond which he was laying down next to.

“Oww…” He muttered as he began to get back up, freezing as he saw his reflection. “Th-this isn’t right!” He shouted, jumping back from the pond. “I-I should be a human, not a Zorua!”

“Remember who you are.” An almost melancholic voice said. “This world needs you Theo.”

“Wh-who are you?” Theo asked, trying to find the source of the voice. “And how do you know my name?”

Despite his questions, Theo received no answer.

Theo began to pace around the clearing, when he noticed a red caterpillar approaching the clearing through a path to the north.

Before Theo could try to talk to it, the Wurmple shot threads of sticky silk at him, causing Theo to get tangled within them.

“Really? String?” Theo said to the Wurmple, a little underwhelmed.

The Wurmple stopped using String Shot after Theo’s insult. However, it began to approach Theo, its horn glowing purple.

“I don’t want to fight, please stop!” Theo shouted at the Wurmple, running towards the other path out of the clearing in a panic.

The Wurmple turned to face the fleeing Theo, horn still glowing as it approached.

“I’ve got to get out of here…” Theo said to himself as he finally reached the other path, only to find himself face-to-face with a Cottonee. Theo tried to run under it, but quickly noticed that the air felt heavy, and he noticed small shining, green spores.

“This can’t be good.” Theo muttered as the spores paralyzed him. Still panicking, he let out a loud cry for help. “Someone! Save me Please!”

Being stuck in place, Theo was only able to gasp in pain when he felt something sharp stab into his side, no doubt that it was the Wurmple.

Theo began to glow green, as orbs of his energy were drained by the Cottonee. Before the Cottonee could finish absorbing Theo’s energy, however, it was hit by a burst of flames.

The Wurmple turned to the source of the flames in order to attack the mysterious assailant, however it too quickly fell to a blast of fire.

Finally free from the paralyzation, Theo took a step back from the cloud of smoke and cotton from the now unconscious Cottonee, as a figure of similar size to him walked out of it.

“Were you the one calling for help?” The figure asked as it stepped out of the cloud, revealing itself to be a Vulpix.

“I-uh- yes.” Theo stammered. “So, umm, thank you.” Theo said as he took a step, only for the stabbing pain in his side to feel worse and causing him to collapse.

The Vulpix panicked when Theo collapsed. “B-by Arceus, are you alright?”

“The W-Wurmple stung me...” Theo muttered faintly, gasping for breath. “Stung me in the side… side doesn’t feel right…”

The Vulpix rushed over to Theo’s side, and quickly realized what happened. “It must have been a Poison Sting, let me find a Pecha Berry.” She said, putting her bag down and rummaging through it. She quickly pulled out a pink berry, and placed it in front of Theo. “Eat this, it should deal with the poison.”

Theo looked at the berry nervously trying to figure out if it was safe to eat, and hesitatingly took a bite. “This is… surprisingly sweet.” Theo said before taking a few more bites.

His comment caught the Vulpix off guard. “Surprisingly sweet?” She repeated, bemused. “That is how all Pecha Berries taste, have you never had one or something?”

Theo shrugged. “Not that I remember.” He said, quickly trying to decide whether or not he should share his predicament, and how much of it.

“Wow, even my parents weren’t that strict.” The Vulpix said. “I don’t even want to know what yours were like.”

Theo sighed. “I… I don’t remember my parents. Or much of anything for that matter.”

“Oh Arceus I’m sorry!” The Vulpix apologized sincerely. “I was running my mouth, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

“It’s alright.” Theo said. “You had no reason to assume that I had some form of amnesia, and I don’t really remember enough about my past to be offended.” He added, trying to comfort the Vulpix, though he couldn’t help but wonder if he meant what he was saying.

“Do you know how long you’ve been here?” The Vulpix inquired.

“All I remember is my name.” Theo said, deciding to keep the fact that he was once a human to himself. “I’m Theo.”

“I guess it would be rude of me to not introduce myself too.” The Vulpix said. “My name is Tina, and I live in the village of Buwell, which is nearby the entrance to this Mystery Dungeon.”

“Mystery… Dungeon?” Theo repeated, confused by the unfamiliar term.

“Y-you don’t know what a Mystery Dungeon is?” Tina asked.

“Not a clue.” Theo replied with a chuckle. “Should I?”

“I guess with your amnesia it makes sense that you wouldn’t know what a Mystery Dungeon is, but how did you get four floors down without realizing…” Tina muttered, before struck with a realization. “The winds!” She shouted, sounding almost triumphant. “The winds must have caused your amnesia!” Tina concluded.

“What do you mean winds?” Theo asked, puzzled.

“I will explain on the way, follow me.” Tina replied before walking towards the northern exit to the room.

“A-all right.” Theo said, chasing after her. “Explain away.”

“So,” Tina began as she led Theo through a maze of tunnels, “Mystery Dungeons are believed to be space-time rifts. They have multiple floors that can be traversed through staircases with layouts changing from one day to another, believed to be thanks to the winds.”

“Could you explain the winds then? What is so special about them?” Theo asked.

“Well, the winds blow at the same time every day, and force Pokemon like you and I out of these dungeons, if you’re lucky.” Tina explained.

“And if you aren’t?” Theo inquired as they turned a corner.

“Well, various things could happen. Those pokemon that attacked you weren’t always that violent.” Tina said. “Those stuck in the dungeons during the winds lose their memories, then their minds. The winds change how you think, confines you to these Dungeons, and makes you violent, almost feral. I would be willing to bet that you were probably stuck here while the winds blew, though why you only lost your memory is beyond me.”

“Maybe I’m just lucky.” Theo said as he thought about it. “Is it because I was human, or did I lose my memories for a different reason?” He pondered.

“A different reason.” The soft voice chimed in. “Though these winds are news to me too.”

Theo glanced around, startled. “D-did you hear that?”

Tina paused. “Hear what?” She asked. “Only sounds here are the swaying of the trees.”

“She can’t hear me.” The voice said. “In fact, no one other than you should be able to hear me. Think of me as… a guide of sorts. And maybe don’t speak to me out loud, just think. I can hear those too.”

“I probably imagined it.” Theo said before going to change the subject. “You mentioned a village called Buwell, what is it like?” He asked.

“It’s a small town, though it would probably be easier to show it to you once we get out of here.” Tina said as she stepped into another room. “Speaking of getting out of here, those stairs should bring us to the last floor of this place.”

“How do you know how many floors this dungeon has?” Theo asked.

“Well I come through here every now and then on jobs that the guild doesn’t take.” Tina said. “Usually from people who can’t afford it, though sometimes it is just because I get to the people who need the jobs done first.”

“What guild?” Theo asked.

“Forgot that you don’t know what exploration guilds are. In the town of Buwell, there is an exploration guild called the Floette Guild. Exploration guilds are groups dedicated to exploring the world and solving problems, anything from delivering letters and items to saving people stuck in Mystery Dungeons.” Tina explained. “Members of exploration guilds get much more in terms of compensation for their work than someone like me, and they also are supplied with items to help them in dungeons.”

“Then why aren’t you part of one?” Theo asked.

“Well you need an exploration team to be in a guild.” Tina answered. “And a team takes two or more pokemon to make.”

“But you seem capable. Why wouldn’t someone form a team with you?” Theo pressed.

Tina laughed. “Those were low level pokemon, and I had a type advantage.” She explained as she led Theo down the stairs. “And I haven’t really fit in with the teams I’ve tried to join, so I’ve been going solo.”

“Makes enough sense.” Theo thought to himself. “So why were you in this dungeon specifically today?” Theo asked.

“Well, one of the children in the town had one of their items stolen from them, apparently taken into this dungeon. However, the little Horsea can’t afford guild services, and most of the townspeople are unwilling to go into Mystery Dungeons, regardless of reason.” Tina said.

Theo chuckled a little. “Yeah, I can understand why. Though how did the Horsea know that their item was taken here?”

“Well,” Tina explained as she continued walking, “Some people followed the thief, they watched them enter the dungeon but no one has seen them leave yet.”

“Wouldn’t the thief be affected by the wind if they were still in here though?” Theo questioned.

“Normally, yes. Though the deeper into a dungeon you are, the less the winds affect you. Depending on the dungeon, some can hide out in them for months before losing themselves.” Tina elaborated. “That is why outlaws often retreat into dungeons when on the run, since it could take ages for them to be found.” She paused as they entered a large room, seeing a scale lying on the floor near a staircase. “There it is!” She shouted, rushing towards the scale.

Theo froze as he walked into the room. “I think I hear something.”

“So you hear it too. That slithering.” The voice said.


Tina shrugged as she kept walking. “I don’t hear a thing, it might just be a breeze.”

Theo took a few steps into the room, noticing a bush rustling. “Tina, there is something in here.”

Tina reached down to pick up the scale. “Theo, you are overreacting. Probably just hearing things again.”

As Tina grabbed the scale, a Seviper lunged out of a bush, constricting her before she had time to react.

“Maybe you ssshould have lissstened to your friend.” The Seviper hissed, having trapped Tina in the move Wrap.

“L-let g-go!” Tina shouted.

Theo froze, panicking. “W-what do I do?” He thought, worried.

“What do you think? Attack the Seviper!” The voice shouted. “Use scratch!”

“How?” Theo questioned, panicking. “I have no claws, much less paws to begin with, how do I scratch?

“Th-Theo! Help!” Tina requested, her voice growing faint.

“It’sss no ussse.” The Seviper hissed. “He isss too ssscared to fight back it ssseemsss.”

“Use your illusions!” The voice stated, as if it was the most obvious solution. “The illusions of a zorua are solid.”

“How do I use my illusions?” Theo retorted in his mind. “For a guide, you haven’t explained much.”

The voice sighed. “My apologies. I, well I assumed you would understand your new form.” It paused before it continued. “Take a deep breath, and close your eyes. Imagine you have claws. Think of as many details of them as possible, then open your eyes. The most important part about this, is that you have to believe that your illusions are reality. The moment you doubt them, they vanish. I recall that many Zorua in my time would leap into the air for certain illusions to distract those watching, though that is more for bigger illusions. For something as simple as claws, you should be able to skip that step for now.” It explained.

Theo did as instructed. As he breathed in deep, he shut his eyes, imagining having paws and claws in place of his stubby feet. He took a step forward and exhaled, opening his eyes as claws extended from his illusory paws.

“Perfect, just like that.” The voice said. “Now then, show that Seviper that you mean business.”

Theo ran towards the Seviper, swinging his claws in an attempt to scratch it. “Let. Tina. Go.” He said as each hit connected.

The Seviper hissed. “Sss-stop! Ressssissstance is pointlesss!”

“Get him Theo!” Tina shouted, the Seviper’s grip around her loosening.

Theo kept using scratch, until the Seviper eventually collapsed, allowing Tina to slip away.

“H-hey, jussst give up already! Once my teammate getsss here, you won’t ssstand a chanccce!” The Seviper lunged towards Theo, its tail glowing purple as the Seviper tried to hit Theo with it.

Theo ducked under the Seviper’s tail as Tina shot a small blast of fire into the Seviper’s side. The Seviper turned its head towards Tina and went to lunge at her, only for Theo to leap onto its back and continue to scratch it with his false claws, eventually causing it to faint.

“Did… we beat him?” Theo asked, his illusory claws fading away.

“That was amazing!” Tina exclaimed. “I didn’t know that you could do that with the claws!”

“I uhhh, I didn’t either.” Theo said. “I learned how to thanks to-”

“Remember, as far as anyone is concerned, there is no voice in your head.” The spirit piped up, causing Theo to pause.

“-it was spur of the moment.” Theo said.

“Well it was great!” Tina said.

“It really wasn’t much, I’m sure any Zorua could do it.” Theo replied sheepishly. “But, what do we do about him?” Theo gestured towards the Seviper.

“Well we drag him down that staircase, then turn him in at the village.” Tina answered, before pulling a round, blue berry out of her bag and taking a few bites of it.

“And if he is still awake, and just acting unconscious?”

“He is out cold, no doubt about it.” Tina answered, before continuing to eat.

Theo went to push the unconscious Seviper. “This guy is kind of heavy, is this really the time to have a snack?”

“It’s an oran berry, it has healing properties.” Tina explained. “So that if we get attacked again, I won’t end up like him after one attack.” Tina glanced at the Seviper, before taking a few more bites of the berry.

“That would have been helpful a while ago…” Theo sighed. “Alright, then help me out once you are done.”

“I will, there is just one more thing I need to do first.” Tina said, walking over to the scale that she had gone to pick up earlier, and had dropped when the Seviper attacked.

“Was that really worth the trouble?” Theo asked, glancing at Tina. “I mean, didn’t you say that the Horsea you are getting it for couldn’t afford to provide a reward for anyone going to get it?”

Tina smiled. “I did it because it is the right thing to do. Sometimes, the best payment is the look of glee on someone else’s face.” Tina replied, dropping the scale into her bag.

“That is… one way of putting it I guess.” Theo began to try and push the Seviper. “But isn’t this what you do as a job?”

“It is, but I am fine on money right now.” She replied, walking over to Theo to help push. “I just do this because it is fun.”

“I don’t really see the appeal in getting attacked for walking around.” Theo replied sheepishly.

“Well it isn’t the battles that excite me.” Tina began. “It’s the adventure, the chance to explore, and the rush of excitement when you finally reach the end of the dungeon! The smiles, the laughs, and the chance to lie down at the end of the day, thinking about what new adventures may come next. Now let’s get going, we have a scale to return.”

“We?” Theo asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah. You and me. You helped me get the scale, so we are completing the job together. And maybe visiting town will help jog your memory, or someone might recognize you.” Tina explained.

Theo shook his head. “Buwell sounds like a nice place and all, but I don’t think going there will help me figure out anything.”

“Well it couldn’t hurt to check.” Tina smiled. “Besides, you’ll need a place to stay, and there isn’t another town for miles.” The vulpix reached out a paw to gesture the distance.

Theo sighed. “Yeah, but I don’t have any money. Or connections. So I don’t thi-”

“You can stay with me.” Tina interrupted.

“But-”

“Of course, I’ll need something in return.” Tina continued.

“I never agreed to-”

“How about you form an exploration team with me? Then we can join the guild and start doing real jobs, and get to explore and help people!” Tina hopped around a little bit.

“I think I might be better off figuring this all out on my own.” Theo replied. “Really nice offer and all, but I’m not really sure.”

“Exploring could help jog your memory though.” Tina suggested. “I mean, you have to be from somewhere, and explorers go everywhere. So even if no one knows you here, eventually we should find someone somewhere that knows who you are.”

“I…” Theo trailed off. “I can’t just say no one will recognize me, can I?”

“She would definitely think you are crazy if you tell her that you were a human.” The voice piped up.

“Then what do I do?” Theo asked in his head.

“Are you alright?” Tina asked. “You seem to be staring off there.”

“Just accept your offer, she isn’t exactly wrong about anything she’s said. Working with her would probably be in your best interest, at least to give you a place to stay. From what she’s said, this ‘Buwell’ place seems safer than here, and she knows more about this place than either of us.” The voice suggested.

“So you don’t explain things and don’t know what’s going on? How did you end up being my guide anyway?” Theo asked.

“Bad luck. Now will you take her deal, or no?”

“Fine, but only because I don’t have another option.”
Theo sighed. Yes, I’m fine. I was just… thinking it over. You have a deal.”
 
Partners
  1. suikaibuki
  2. ranyakumo
All right. There is stuff to read and rewards for reading. So, why not give this a shot even though I do not normally read PMD? The adventures of the faux fox await. Let's see what you got.

- It probably would have been the best if you actually described location besides just saying it was unfamiliar location.
- There's a formatting error in the biy where melachonic voice says to remember who you are. Too much italics. Happens a lot in those paragraphs actually.
- That said, I wonder if it is trying to gaslight Theo into thinking that he was a Zorua to begin with. You can never trust these PMD types.
- Oh that is one seriously pissed off worm. Attacking without any sort of provocation. I bet it's going to die in yhe future when it tries to pick a fight that I cannot win.
- Well it seems that the worm is not the only dick around. Maybe these are the so-called ferals.
- If it really is stun spore, those should be yellow spores and not green ones.
- Please is capitalized where it shouldn't be.
- Orbs of his energy? Odd descriptor
- Need more commas in "it, too,". Actually a few comma mistakes here and there.
- That paralyzation wore off super quick. Hooray for after combat recovery I suppose?
- You should probably introduce the Vulpix as a female instead of an it in her introductory paragraph, given that the voice would be a giveaway.
- Man losing the dice roll as soon as he gets to the new world.
- Well I would make a joke about worrying about the state of the Pecha Berry, but, y'know, upcoming DLC stuff. Maybe it's the memory thing
- I do have to wonder how human kidnapper PMD thingy thinks that amnesia is compulsory when it comes to its kidnapping antics. My personal theory is that it makes it easier for them to be kept around forever. Well, can't fault you for going with the running gag that the official games go with.
- Hey! A PMD pic with actual mystery dungeons involved! Somehow those seem rare
- The wiiiiiinds! Or whatever they are in each individual game.
- You know, It occurs to me that they never actually explain just where these things come from. Granted it may be more common than I thought given that I don't read these fixed under normal circumstances, and on the other hand I don't think they're explaining that well in any games either including any non-Pokemon ones. They just are.
- Hmmm, interesting with the voice is sticking around. I still don't trust it. It is either going to turn out to be the villain / the kidnapper, or somehow trying to get Theo out.
- You know, a story about a solo PMD adventurer would be cool.
- I don't get why Tina is so dismissive here. After all, Theo could have more sensitive hearing than her.
- Tina doesn't seem to have good survival instincts. Maybe that's why she doesn't fit in?
- IT'S NO USE
- I do like the bit where Theo doesn't automatically understand his new body. It is completely logical
- Why is she describing how to make an illusion when it is as simple as using scratch? Like, they're illusions in the end, making claws look bigger shouldn't affect their potency.
- Weak snake. Fell over just like that.
- Well somebody is eager to operate in an official capacity. This is like, offer you can't refuse type stuff out of her.
- Typo, should be accept her offer.

This was sort of an exposition dump of a chapter that moved pretty quickly. It's not necessarily a bad thing, that said. I really don't have much to comment on at this point that I already haven't in my point form stuff involved. Particularly since we've seen more of Theo in the Festival of Masks so far, heh. But, I'll keep an eye on this and see wherever it goes.
 

FauxFox

Wandering Fool
Location
Somewhere, surely.
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. zorua
  2. vulpix
This was sort of an exposition dump of a chapter that moved pretty quickly. It's not necessarily a bad thing, that said. I really don't have much to comment on at this point that I already haven't in my point form stuff involved. Particularly since we've seen more of Theo in the Festival of Masks so far, heh. But, I'll keep an eye on this and see wherever it goes.
Thanks a ton for the feedback! I honestly didn't catch the typos, and yeah, I definitely need to work on descriptions.
Now to address some of the specifics:
- There's a formatting error in the biy where melachonic voice says to remember who you are. Too much italics. Happens a lot in those paragraphs actually.
The italics were intentional (for the most part), as I use them to show things that are within Theo's own mind. Granted, I definitely did not need to italicize entire lines and paragraphs of the voice speaking, so I'll edit that soon.

- If it really is stun spore, those should be yellow spores and not green ones.
I honestly had no clue that stun spores were yellow, my colorblindness always made them look green to me. The more you know!

- Orbs of his energy? Odd descriptor
I couldn't think of a better way to describe the move absorb at the time, and forgot to go back and change it. Will definitely be changing that.

- You should probably introduce the Vulpix as a female instead of an it in her introductory paragraph, given that the voice would be a giveaway.
I don't know why I didn't consider doing this, will keep that in mind if I make any edits, and for future character introductions.

- Why is she describing how to make an illusion when it is as simple as using scratch? Like, they're illusions in the end, making claws look bigger shouldn't affect their potency.
The reason for this is that Zorua don't actually have claws (as far as I'm aware, that is), and since Theo doesn't know how to do whatever pokemon would normally do to use their moves, he assumes that he can't use the attack without them. And as mentioned in this sentence (which I forgot to capitalize Zorua in):
“The illusions of a zorua are solid.”
So while making them look bigger wouldn't exactly change their potency, it would still give Theo claws that he can use to attack.


Thank you for reading, and thank you once again for the feedback, I will be sure to remember it when I write the next chapters, and when I go to make edits.
 

K_S

Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Blitz review
Chapter 1

You know i wonder if everyone else hears these mysterous wake up in a void voices as james earl jones' mufasa? Candidly i do.

Well thats one way to fill in a featureless void. Faceplant into the features. At least he knows what he is... A lot of mon protags get spiecies confusion right out the gate.

Snorts. I'm imagining the wurmple with a glowstick on its head slowly squinching forward. I mean, as a dark type, its bad news. Still its a funny image.

Also wurm' is o.p. if its got bughorn as a squirm. So running is definitly smart... And from the bug inferno we hit hostile califlower... Faux is in for a bad time.

And is rescued by a fox...

So the faux fox was rescued by a firey fox? Suess would be having a field day.

And the data feed begins. I hope he's got his note taking hat on.

Either be it winds or fauxs human status he could blame dues ex machanica either way?

So Theo has a data fairy voice? Huh. Well it saves Tina's voice i guess?

(Reads guild section) oh nevermind they're gunna get some laryngitus i guess. Still its sweet of them to go after the horsea's item? I'm surprised Tina just hasn't said what it was actually.

So are we looking for a scale as in shedding of a snake/reptile or a weighs thing scale? Well if its the first the sirviper's got a whole body lengrh to scratch off i guess?

Ohh faux doesn't know how to attack? This is going to go bad unless the advice fairy would like to step in and tap the menu to open the attack option?

(I'm wondering if the voice isnt a player in r.l. side of the screen actually. It's the theroy i'm rolling with until more evidence comes up)

Theo almost let the "i hear voices" card slip this early? I think he's gunna have more problems as time passes keeping a lid on it.

So Tina has joined the party... Even though Faux has no clue as to what the bash is about and is perpetually confused... This will be interesting.

Curious to see what town looks like.
 
Last edited:

Negrek

Abscission Ascendant
Staff
Hey, Fauxfox! I know this story's been a long time in the making, so I wanted to come have a look at what you've been up to!

We have a lot of classic PMD elements here--waking up with amnesia, being rescued by an exploration partner, trying to adapt to a new form--and we get through them at a headlong speed! I'm of two minds about this; on the one hand, for anyone who's read more than one or two PMD fics, or indeed played the games, they've seen this all before, and it doesn't make sense to linger over familiar territory. On the other hand, your opening chapter does set the scene and introduce some of the character dynamics that will be very important later on in the story. All in all, I'm not too fussed that we moved along pretty quickly through this intro session, but I hope future chapters do allow the story a little more time to breathe. We've gotten past the standard PMD intro--now things really open up, and it's time to see where you plan to take the story!

For me, what's always most interesting is looking at what elements of a story deviate from the norm, since they usually give me the best idea of what's going to make this fic unique and worth reading. Here we have both a "guiding voice" in Theo's head and his illusion powers, which are a lot more flexible than what PMD protagonists usually have access to. The "guiding voice" is objectively the more important one, I think. Who are they, and what's their intent? How will Theo's relationship with the world around him change as a result of having someone he can always talk to in his mind? I'll be honest, though--I'm really interested in how Theo will use his illusions to shake things up in this fic. There are just so many things he might be able to do with them, especially since they can actually be corporeal under certain conditions. I think that sort of power will open up a lot of fun opportunities in the story, and I look forward to seeing how you use it!

It was also neat to see you expand on the infamous "dungeon wind" and explicitly lay out that dungeon pokémon are "normal people" who've essentially lost their minds due to overexposure to the dungeon. It's a fairly common take on things, but one that I think has a lot of potential. Here it makes a convenient excuse for Theo's amnesia, but I wonder if we'll be seeing more of it later on. Plenty of opportunity for horror and suspense when lingering too long in a dungeon has the potential to strip you of your humanity (or pokémonity)!

I know you've gotten some feedback on the grammar and mechanics of this story so far, so I won't say much about that other than to note that you may want to look up some guides to dialogue punctuation. Generally speaking, dialogue should end in a comma, and the following speech tag should not be capitalized. For example, rather than "'This can’t be good.' Theo muttered as the spores paralyzed him.", it should be, "'This can't be good,' Theo muttered as the spores paralyzed him.", or, instead of "'Wow, even my parents weren’t that strict.' The Vulpix said.", it should be, "'Wow, even my parents weren’t that strict,' the Vulpix said."

Ultimately, this is a tantalizing look at what could be a very fun PMD story. I'm particularly curious about what's going on with the voice in Theo's head and how it will impact his adventure. I know you were working on this for NaNo, and I hope that went well! Would love to see more chapters of this story.
 
Interlude 1: The Bounty

FauxFox

Wandering Fool
Location
Somewhere, surely.
Pronouns
He/Him
Partners
  1. zorua
  2. vulpix
Author’s Note: This may or may not have initially been a prologue that I forgot to post initially, then ended up rewriting after I released Chapter 1. So while I continue working on Chapter 2 (and fixing some things in Chapter 1, many thanks to all who reviewed it), here is an interlude. I will likely be using a few of these to set up future plot points away from the main cast, though I can’t imagine that there will be too many of these, maybe 4 or 5 max. Chapter 2 is still a work in progress, but now that I'm done with school I should have more time to write.

Eight Months Ago

Howell’s grip tightened around the rolled-up paper in his hand as he glared at the door of the nearly empty café. “I’m going to strangle that Indeedee once she gets here…” He muttered under his breath.

A Numel with a tray of food carefully balanced on its back approached Howell almost cautiously. “A-are you alright sir? Y-you’ve been sitting there for a while.” The numel's voice shuddered, the tray on its back tilting from side to side.

The Dewott’s gaze stayed focused on the door. “I’m waiting for someone,” Howell said as he loosened his grip on the paper.

“O-oh, alright s-sir. W-would you like me to get you a drink while you wait?”

The Dewott finally turned to look at the Numel. “That would be most rude of me, to order before the person I am waiting on arrives. So no, I am fine,” the Dewott said, his calm words sharply contrasted by his cold glare.

“G-got i-it sir,” the Numel shuffled in place a little bit, eyes darting around as the café door creaked open. “M-my apologies- sorry!” the Numel’s quiet apology shifted to a shout of panic, its shuffling having caused the tray on its back to slip off and begin falling.

The Dewott reached for his scalchops instinctively when he heard the Numel shout before attempting to use them to catch some of the falling food, the rolled paper falling from his hands but landing with its blank side up.

The Numel stared in awe, but not at Howell’s quick response. Instead, its eyes were focused on the tray and food which appeared to be suspended in the air, surrounded by a faint purple glow.

“Guess I arrived just in time,” an Indeedee standing in the doorway chuckled, her eyes glowing purple.

“You’re late Victoria,” Howell sighed as set his scalchops down. “I told you to be here half an hour ago.”

The tray of food gently floated to its original position on the Numel’s back as Victoria took a seat at the table. “Two Apicot Teas please,” the Indeedee requested, the purple glow fading from her eyes.

The Numel blinked for a moment before nodding. “R-right away ma'am!” He exclaimed before quickly making his way to the back of the cafe.

“What held you up for so long this time?” Howell asked as he reached down to pick up the paper.

“Market sale,” Victoria answered, grinning. “And we’ve been working together for what, seven years now? No need to be so formal Howell, you can just call me Tori y’know.

“And this job is probably the most important one we’ve got in our seven years of working, Victoria.” Howell laid the paper down on the table, revealing it to be a bounty notice.

“So? It’s a bounty, we do those all the time,” Victoria said as she looked over the page. “What’s so different about this o- D-does that say-” Her voice grew louder in surprise before getting cut off.

“Yes, that sheet says three million. Now quiet down, unless you want everyone from here to Aldeos to hear you.” Howell glanced around the room, noting the Numel once again approaching.

“H-here are your d-drinks,” the Numel stammered. “Th-that will be t-twenty p-poké t-total.”

“Here’s fifty,” Victoria said, putting a coin on the tray and taking a drink. “Feel free to keep the change.”

Howell sighed as he took the other drink off of the tray.

“Are y-you sure miss?” the Numel said.

“She’s sure, kid. And no, we won’t need anything else,” the Dewott muttered.

“Th-thank you!” the Numel quickly walked off, elated.

“Now back to business,” Victoria chuckled. “Who put this bounty up? Three million could get you a place in Lilydeep, seems like an awful lot to catch a criminal. And why has no one else heard of this yet?”

“Our clients,” Howell began, “Are the Primmer family of the Santorenn Council. They made a deal with the boss, we have five months to find the target before this bounty becomes public knowledge.”

“Still sounds like an awful lot for a bounty that will only take the target alive,” Victoria noted, gesturing to the top of the page.

“Well I doubt they’d want us to kill their family’s heir,” Howell replied. “Katalina Primmer, a four-tailed Santorenna Vulpix who’s been missing since last week. So no murder, and minimal collateral. Boss’ orders.”

“Any more information, beyond appearance? Do you have a plan to find her, or are we just going to interrogate every Vulpix in the nation?” Victoria tilted her head, eyes focused on the bounty sheet.

“Well we start at Wolfex and work our way out. Ask about suspicious individuals. The target is a noble, she likely will have some mannerisms that make her stand out,” Howell offered.

“By the Arc, we really are just interrogating every Vulpix in the nation. Guess we should get moving then,” Victoria replied, trying to suppress a laugh.

“Don’t complain about the plan if you don’t have one yourself. Now let's go, we don’t want to lose this bounty.”
 
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