Pokémon Electric Start (oneshot)

[Flyg0n]

Spoiler: A/N

Hello everyone, decided on a whim to post this 'story' (I use the term loosely here, lol). This little story is just a random parody/crack fic that was on FFN but i wanted to share. Don't take it seriously. (Which means this isn't intended for critique, heh). if there's a really irritating grammar error feel free to let me know, but mostly you can meme on this or tell me what was funny.

Disclaimer: The opinions presented within do not necessarily reflect my own regarding the anime/games. Also I poke a little fun here and there at some Ash trainerfic tropes buts its all intended in a purely memeish way

Electric Start

Length: 4.8k
Genre: Crack/parody/humor​

---

We all remember where it began. Soon to be Pokemon Master Ash Ketchum arrives late to get his starter. So instead Oak gives him a precocious yellow and black electric type. Wait, thats definitely a Pikachu, right? Right?

---

​

Beep beep beep!
Oh boy, there was the alarm clock. 10 year old Ash Ketchum immediately sprang out of bed. He heard the familiar sound of his mother's footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm up mom!" he shouted because he was super excited. Because today, he, a 10-year-old child, would finally get to leave home and roam the wilderness alone. With a pokemon, of course. Now, as excited as he was to begin his journey, he didn't actually know anything about Pokemon. His dream was to become a Pokemon Master though.

He ran downstairs. His mother handed him his backpack.

"Did you read any of that book I gave you?" his mother chided gently.

"The book you gave me?" he asked.

Delia Ketchum simply rolled her eyes. "You know Ash, how will you ever become a proper pokemon Master if you don't learn about pokemon? Do you even know how to catch one?"

"Huh?"

Delia chuckled. "Never mind, I suppose. Now hurry to Professor Oak's lab. I know its early but you don't want to miss getting your first pokemon." She paused. "Also, don't forget your underwear." She was, of course, obliged to say that given it was the only thing she was remembered for.

"Sure thing!" You didn't have to tell him twice. Without another word he sprinted out the door and down the path to Professor Oak's lab.

Upon reaching the lab, however, he was surprised to find the place quiet. Maybe he was so early no one else had come! The sun had barely even risen after all. Before he could walk inside however, the doors open and Oak himself stepped out.

"Ah, Ash!" he said. "I was wondering when you would show up. I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news."

"Oh no! What?"

Oak sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You see, a few other trainers got here before you, and Gary as well. I gave away all the pokemon already." It was true, somehow he only had a couple of pokemon ready as starters and managed to give them all away before Ash had arrived.

Ash blinked, then stared at the sky. The bottom of the sun was still touching the horizon, and he was pretty sure it wasn't even 7:00 yet. How could that many people have gotten here before him? Still, he wouldn't let a small hiccup like that stop him. "Please Professor, don't you have anything else?"

"Not at the moment, no" Ash's face fell. "Although... I have a feisty electric type I suppose I could give away. Though I haven't even had the chance to release it from its pokeball yet-"

"Oh please, I'll take it!" Ash cried. "It doesn't matter what pokemon it is, I'll take anything."

Oak frowned. "Well, I suppose I can allow it." Rather reluctantly, Oak went into his lab and returned a few minutes later with a ball with a small lightning bolt symbol on it. "Here you go-"

"Thanks!" Ash cried, snatching the pokeball. He sprinted away, too excited to wait a moment longer. As soon as he was a little ways away from the lab, he tossed out the pokeball. A yellow and black pokemon emerged and emitted an earsplitting cry. It stood at least twenty feet tall, possessed razor-sharp talons, a long spear-like beak, and jagged wings.

Oak, who was watching from distance, grimaced. Oopsie daisy, what an unfortunate mix up. He must have grabbed the wrong Pokeball to give to Ash. He hurriedly strode over to the boy.

Ash, meanwhile, was staring delightedly at his new starter. "Wow you're really awesome looking!" The bird gave a pleased (and loud) cry, fluttering its wings before gazing down at the diminutive boy. "I want to become a Pokemon Master and you're gonna help me!" It narrowed its eyes. "I'll help you become super strong too," Ash added

The bird didn't really think it needed help in that department, but hey, what the heck.

Just then, Professor Oak walked up. "Ash! I must apologize dear boy, but I'm afraid I gave you the wrong pokemon by accident. You see-"

Ash turned around, grinning. "Thanks, Professor, this pokemon is really awesome! What's it called?"

Oak decided not to say anything else. Besides, if Ash wanted this pokemon, what harm could there be? Oak chuckled awkwardly. "Hmm... it seems I have forgotten..."

Ash thought very hard. "Pikachu are yellow and black right? And electric type. Maybe it's Pikachu!"

"Ahh yes, that must be it!" Oak declared. "Well, good luck. Treat your new Pikachu well."

Pikachu screamed loudly.

"I will!" Ash turned to his new best friend. "Come on, let's go!" He raced off, eager to begin his journey. Pikachu took the sky and followed from above. It wasn't long before Ash saw his first Pokemon.

A Spearow, his pokedex informed him. Ash decided he'd catch it, because why not. So he did the only sensible thing for a boy with a brand new pokemon could do. He threw rock at it.

The Spearow gave a loud angry caw, turned to attack, then saw the giant yellow and black bird hovering above Ash. It turned tail and flew away before Ash could even get out a pokeball.

"Aw dang it!" Ash grumbled. He glanced back at Pikachu. "Come on buddy, why didn't you stop it?"

Pikachu tilted its head, peering at him with its angular eyes and gave a sharp cry, clearly indicating it didn't see the need to attack the tiny bird.

"Whatever," Ash grumbled. "Let's go." He took out Pikachu's pokeball, but it shook its head in a firm no. Ash wanted to argue but it was hard to argue with a giant electric bird that had a beak the size of his body. "Oh well, then I guess you can stay out but you gotta follow me okay." The large avian didn't seem to mind the command, although Ash also got the impression it didn't have anything better to do either. He continued onwards, traveling happily along until loud bird cries came from above.

He looked back to see a huge flock of Spearow, led by a giant Fearow, all screaming very angrily and flying straight for him. Ash glanced around, then up at Pikachu.

"Get in the pokeball Pikachu! I'll protect you!"

Pikachu gave Ash a condescending look. As if he needed the protection of a small human boy. Still this human's relative foolishness was rather... endearing. He landed and calmly reached out with its talons and ever so gently scooted Ash out of the way.

Then he flung his wings open and summoned a flash of lightning bright enough to blast the feathers off every single Spearow and send them running home on their bare legs.

"Sugoi!" Ash yelled. His Pikachu was really awesome. Delighted, he continued his journey.

Two members of Team Rocket saw his stunt and decided to capture whatever pokemon had made such a strong attack. As Ash approached the next town, they confronted him.

"Give us your Pikachu!" cried the woman with ridiculously identifiable magenta hair.

"Your pokemon belong to Team Rocket now," declared a boy with equally identifiable blue hair.

Between them stood a small cat pokemon, who could apparently talk and was unlikely to be mistaken for anything other than a pokemon, ever. Then they sent out an Ekans and Koffing.

The trio proceeded to go into a long rant or some kind of chant. Or some kind of song? Ash wasn't paying attention.

They never finished. Rather annoyed, Pikachu proceeded to open up the heavens and disintegrate them, sending them to the shadow realm. As if two pathetic freaks with weak pokemon could stop him. Besides, the world would be better off without them constantly causing meaningless filler by showing up unwanted so much. Especially if they ever traveled to that region with the big mountain and the gods of time and space. Seeing them constantly would really drag things down.

"Whoa thanks Pikachu! You really saved me." Ash called.

Pikachu cawed back pridefully.

And so it was that Ash decided on whim to challenge every gym so he could show everyone how cool his Pikachu was. First gym was apparently Pewter, led by Brock.

He entered the town and went to the gym. Along the way he heard the tragic tale of Brock's dad vanishing, leaving him to care for all his siblings. Then he proceeded to challenge him to a battle.

"Call out your first pokemon!" Brock demanded as he stood on the outside battlefield. His Onix stood on the field in front of him.

"Pikachu, come down!" Ash shouted.

Pikachu descended from the sky and landed with a thunderous boom.

Brock gasped. "THAT'S NOT A PIKACHU!" he shouted.

"Sure it is!" Ash said with a grin. "Pikachu, attack!" he didn't know any of Pikachu's attacks yet, he realized. He used his pokedex to check. Drill Run. Okay, that sounded cool. Brocks entire family was watching too. No way was he going easy because of some kind of misguided sympathy. He wanted to win. "Drill Run."

The battle ended and Brock gave Ash a badge, as all of his brothers and sister cried at his feet. Fortunately, Brock's dad was secretly watching and realized what a piece of literal garbage he'd been and returned to his family.

Pleased, Ash prepared to leave. As he was halfway out of town, he heard someone behind him.

"Hey! Wait!" it was Brock. "I want to travel with you," Brock explained.

"No thanks."

And Ash left.

So Brock decided to stay home instead of leaving his siblings with a father they barely knew.

The next gym Ash traveled to was in Cerulean. There he met four girls. He challenged them to a battle, because winning without getting a badge for real was lame. So one of the girls, Misty, accepted.

She sent out her Starmie. Ash sent out Pikachu.

Misty's eyes widened. "What is that?" she screamed.

"A Pikachu!" Ash answered cheerfully. "Now Pikachu, use Thunder!" The sky above the gym grew dark. Then a bolt of electricity shattered the roof and hit the water, instantly vaporizing it. And fainting Misty's Starmie. Ash got his badge.

"That's not a Pikachu," Misty said.

"It is!" Ash insisted. "I'm gonna be a pokemon master so I know all about this type of stuff."

"No it's not!" Misty screeched. She was mad now. She raised her hand to slap Ash, then saw 'Pikachus' furious glare from where it stood behind Ash. The look its its eyes made her shake in fear. Maybe hitting people wasn't nice. She lowered her hand. Darn. There went her hopes of tagging along with this random boy.

xxx

Many days passed by after that, and Ash had quite a few fun adventures with his new friend. On one such day, Ash ran into a Charmander just sitting on a rock. Well that was weird. He decided to keep walking.

That night, he stopped at a Pokemon Center. It was raining hard outside. "Hi Nurse joy!" he called. Pikachu folded his wings and squeezed through the doors with some difficulty. "Can you take a look at my Pikachu?"

Joy frowned. "Oh my. That doesn't look like any Pikachu I've ever seen."

"He's just special I guess," Ash declared confidently.

So with great trepidation, Joy gave the gigantic bird the quickest checkup she could, declared it to be perfect health, and hurried away. Ash decided to stay the night.

He was relaxing when he heard a boy bragging about abandoning a Charmander. And on top of that he had a massive armful of pokeballs. How come he got to break the carry limit? What the heck. Nevermind though, people abandoning pokemon was something he couldn't stand.

"Hey! You're a monster! How could you leave that Charmander there like that and brag about it?"

Damian chuckled extra nefariously. "I'm a bad guy, what can I say? That dumb Charmander is weak."

Ash jumped up, fully ready to fight. "Take that back and go take Charmander back now or I'm gonna make you." Pikachu, who took up most of the space in the main room, screamed angrily.

Just as the two were about to fight, Nurse Joy stepped in. "Pokemon shouldn't be used in personal battle," she protested.

Ash glared at her. "Really lady? That's what you have a problem with? Not the kid carrying an illegal number of pokemon and bragging about abandoning his pokemon in the rain?"

Joy frowned, considered, then changed her expression. "You're right!"

Pikachu gave a long shriek of agreement and Damian paled. "What kinda Pikachu is that?"

His question never got answered. Pikachu had had just about enough of this dumb boy. He leaped across the room, snatched Damian, and flew out the door.

When Pikachu returned, Damian was gone.

"Gee Pikachu, what happened to that Damian guy?"

Pikachu screamed and mimed a talon across his neck. Ash blinked at his buddy. "What's that mean?" he asked. Pikachu didn't reply, he simply ducked, lowering his head to reveal a small orange shape on his back. It was the Charmander!

Nurse Joy appeared, of course, and immediately took it to be healed, then promised it would be well taken care of.

The rain stopped the next day and Ash resumed his travels. Nurse Joy had told him there was a gym in Celadon.

After some walking, (and getting lost), Pikachu managed to get him to Celadon city. As it turned out, Pikachu was so strong he beat Erika super easy. Ash grinned as he accepted the badge from her, feeling quite proud. "We make a great team, huh Pikachu?"

Pikachu sighed and rolled his eyes.

xXx

Next stop was Vermilion city. Which Ash was very excited about because Lt. Surge was the gym leader and he had electric type pokemon.

Ash stopped outside the gym, ready to walk in. The doors burst open and a small boy ran out carrying a Ratatta. Tears streamed down his face as he ran in the direction of the pokemon center.

A giant of a man stepped out, chuckling. "Hey runt," he said to Ash.

Pikachu popped out of his pokeball, dwarfing Surge by several feet.

Surge's jaw dropped. "Kid, what the HECK is that thing?"

"What do you mean?" Ash said. "Its a Pikachu."

"No. No its not." He released a pokemon from a ball on his belt. A small yellow and black rodent emerged. "This is a Pikachu kid." Surge's Pikachu stared at Ash's Pikachu, eyes round as saucers. "What the heck is your pokemon, run-" Pikachu gave him a sharp glare "I mean, pal?" Surge said, swallowing nervously.

"Me and Pikachu are best buddies! He's awesome!" Ash replied cheerfully.

Surge blinked and frowned. "Did you even hear what I asked?"

"Yeah? Isn't Pikachu great?" Ash replied.

A scowl crossed Surge's face. He sent out a Raichu. "Listen. THIS is a Raichu. It evolves from a Pikachu. Got it?" he gestured to the two pokemon.

"Check it out Pikachu, its your evolved form!" Ash declared excitedly. Pikachu opened its beak and let out a long sigh.

Surge gave a sigh. "Oh boy." He led the way to the battlefield, then sent out Raichu.

Raichu emerged with a prideful cry that died out into a whimper. He looked at his opponent, then at Surge.

Across the field, Pikachu stared at him like one might an insect. "Would you challenge your god?"

Raichu gave a pitiful squeak then turned and ran off the battlefield. Surge scowled and nudged Raichu back onto the field. "Get back out there!" he barked. After much dragging and debating, Surge managed to push Raichu back onto the field. The gym referee called for the match to begin.

"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!" Ash called.

"Raichu, Mega Punch!"

Raichu's fist glowed white and he ran across the field. Pikachu didn't move. With a mighty leap, Raichu swung his fist at Pikachu's face. His paw made solid contact, but Pikachu didn't even flinch. Then the shock reverberated back through Raichu and he dropped to the ground like a brick and collapsed.

"Ash is the winner," the referee said.

"Raichu!" Surge cried. He ran onto the field and scooped up his fat electric rat. "I can't believe I didn't win."

Ash just patted Pikachu's side proudly and accepted his badge.

xXx

For a little while Ash wandered around Vermilion City. It was a big place and he was curious to see it all.

As he was walking near the docks, he spotted two strangers talking to various people. They waved at him and ran over to him.

"Hello there!" one said. "We've got super duper exclusive tickets to ride the coolest cruise ship ever, the St. Anne!"

"And we're giving them out for free!" the other declared, handing him a ticket.

Ash considered it for a brief moment. Then he shrugged. "Nah I'm good."

xXx

As it turned out, his Pikachu was super super strong! Through hard work (no) and determination (no), the rest of the gyms were pretty easy. He did have a lot of fun adventures along the way though.

There was one incident that really caught Ash off guard though. During a stop at a pokemon center, he heard something was wrong with the pokeball transmitting device. The only way to figure out what was up would be to go inside the machine!

Nothing better than a random kid to handle that, he figured. So he traveled to the lab of a local Professor, the one who had created the transfer system.

"Hello, you are the random trainer Nurse Joy told me about, right?" Professor Akihabara asked.

Ash nodded. "I bet me and my Pikachu can handle it!"

"Excellent. Then you will take my Porygon here and enter the machine."

The professor quickly produced a red and blue duck like pokemon from a pokeball.

"Alright Porygon, do your thing," the professor declared.

In no time at all, Porygon had digitized them into the pokemon transfer machine. Unsurprisingly, Team Rocket was responsible. Or at least, he knew this because they were decent enough to introduce themselves as members of Team Rocket.

"I'm Butch!" said one

"And I'm Cassidy!" said the other

"Alright Pikachu, we gotta stop Bob and Carmen."

Butch and Cassidy scowled. "That's not our names!" They tried to launch missiles at Ash and Porygon. Pikachu flew over and caught the missiles. He was careful because if he used Thunderbolt it would have set off a series of ridiculously bright flashing red and blue lights that would have been blamed on poor Porygon. Fortunately, Pikachu was smarter than that, and also didn't intend to let Porygon take the blame for what essentially would have been his fault.

Heck, if he had, Porygon probably would end up ostracized and shunned its whole life for a crime it didn't even commit.

With Team Rocket gone, Porygon was able to repair the bug in cyberspace, then take them out.

Ash emerged alongside Pikachu. Porygon emerged as well, and beeped happily. Finally, freed of his near 20 year purgatory for being blamed for stuff he didn't even do.

"Oh thank you!" Professor Akiakaia said. "How can I thank you we couldn't do this without you."

"Hmm..." Ash said. There was definitely only one thing he wanted. "Can you let me carry more than 6 pokemon?"

The Professor stared at him. "I mean sure but why?"

Ash shrugged. "Cause. Seems like a good idea."

"Ok." So he did. "Now you can carry as many pokemon as you want."

Even though Ash only owned one pokemon, he felt quite happy. "Come on Pikachu, let's go!"

xXx

One of the last gyms they had to face was Blaine on Cinnabar Island.

Ash exited the ferry and wandered around the island for a while. "I wonder where the gym is?" he said out loud.

Almost as if summoned by the plot, a man appeared. He wore black spectacles and had long bronze hair and a mustache. "What do tourists think is both hot and cool?" he asked.

"I dunno," Ash declared with a shrug.

The man frowned. "Maybe the answer could help you find the gym," he said almost teasingly.

"Nah I'm good. Pikachu can do that!" he grinned.

"Your Pikachu can help you answer riddles?"

"Nope. didn't you listen mister? Pikachu is gonna help me find the gym." With that, he pulled out his pokeball and released Pikachu.

The massive avian god of thunder let out a titanic shriek. He fixed the man in a dark gaze that made him shrivel. Then he gently scooped Ash into his talons, spread his wings, and took off.

After all of a minute, Pikachu spotted the gym on top of the volcano. He landed and set Ash down. The two waited for the gym leader to arrive.

Several minutes later, Blaine arrived, huffing and puffing, his bronze wig askew and his spectacles ready to slide off. He was beginning to think hiding his gym with riddles was a dumb idea.

"My name is Ash Ketchum of Pallet town! I challenge you to a gym battle!"

"Listen, I don't know what that thing is but its not a Pikachu."

Ash shouted again. "I challenge you to a gym battle!"

"Fine! One on one!" Blaine shrieked. The magma far below boiled and bubbled. A Magmar rose out of it and landed on the battlefield.

Ash briefly wondered how he was allowed to have a gym inside a volcano, which might have been a safety hazard.

"Let the battle begin!" Blaine shouted.

"Thunderbolt!" Ash yelled.

Blaine smirked. Fool. "Counter with your definitely legit real science air lens technique."

The air around Magmar grew really hot. It smirked. Clearly, it was taunting its opponent, calling it out, claiming itself superior and invulnerable to electric attacks, thinking itself a king.

But as they say, what's a king to a god? And furthermore what's a king to science? A fool. Because Pikachu knew something apparently this pathetic Magmar did not. Fire is a better conductor of electricity than regular air. So really, Magmar sealed his fate.

Lightning gathered around Magmar, then ripped through the flames on its head, snuffing them out, leaving nothing but twin wisps of smoke trailing on either side. Magmar quacked in shock. Pikachu glared at it, then brought down a titanic blast of lightning on top of Magmar, punching a hole through the battlefield and dropping it into the volcano.

Blaine yelled in shock. "Impossible! My pseudoscience has failed me," he wailed. "I can't believe this."

After Ash collected his badge, he decided to hang around awhile to see the hot springs. While he was in town, he saw officer jenny and several league officials appear and head into the gym. When they came out, he saw Blaine was under arrest.

Jenny was lecturing him. "So when nobody came to your gym and your solution was to build it inside a volcano instead?"

"I'm the fire gym leader! It makes perfect sense!" Blaine shouted furiously.

Jenny just shook her head and dragged him away.

Ash chuckled. "That sure was fun huh?" Pikachu, who was perched above the hot springs, screamed in agreement.

xXXx

Now the time had come for Ash's final gym battle. It was Giovanni's gym, in Viridian city, where he now stood on the battlefield.

A tall man stepped out of the shadows. When he saw the boy he chuckled darkly. A shame that those two idiots with the talking Meowth had vanished, he could have randomly given them control of the gym for this battle.

"Uh... that laugh sounds kind evil," Ash mused to himself.

"So are you ready to challenge me?" the man said.

"Yeah!" Ash called, grinning wildly. "I'm Ash of Pallet Town."

"I know just who you are. My name is Giovanni. Apparently, you defeated Blaine. I am told you possess an unusual Pikachu, yes?"

Ash nodded. "Yup! My Pikachu is my best bud and he's really awesome."

"Very well, let us see how 'awesome' it truly is." Giovanni sent out his first pokemon, a Golem.

Ash sent out Pikachu.

"OH MY STARS" Giovanni yelled. "That's not Pikachu, thats a-"

He never finished his sentence.

"Pikachu, Thunderbolt!"

Giovanni relaxed a bit. "Electricity doesn't affect ground-types"

Pikachu smirked, a cruel smile stretching across his beak as he charged his attack. He gave a loud caw, which in the tongue of pokemon roughly translated to "You forgot we're only in season 1 of the anime, fool. The writers did whatever the plot called for, including letting electricity hurt ground types."

Golem's face changed from arrogance to fear. Then thousands of volts of electricity flashed across the room and destroyed him.

In a state of near panic, Giovanni quickly tossed out his next pokemon. A Kingler emerged.

Ash frowned. "Jiminy Kricketot mister, even I know water is weak to electric attacks." He paused. "Also how come you're using a water-type? I thought you used ground types."

Giovanni groaned and facepalmed, not just because he was annoyed, but because it was true. He had a ton of really cool pokemon in the game, like a Nidoking and a Dugtrio, but for some reason, the anime gave him a Kingler.

"Okay Pikachu, lets use Thunderbolt one more time!"

The avian screeched and complied happily. In the space of a second Kingler was no more. Giovanni returned it and quickly made for his last pokeball. A shame his little project wasn't ready yet... even a god like this being would stand no chance... cursing fate, he quickly sent out his final pokemon.

A Machamp emerged.

Pikachu glared at it.

"Machamp, attack." Machamp charged and jumped at Pikachu. Pikachu thrust out one talon, grabbing Machamp by the face. Then he tossed it across the room.

The battle was done.

Giovanni clenched his fists very tight. His anger began to boil over. "Shucks!" he said. There was no other option but to hand over the earth badge.

Ash took it, and left the gym. Once he was outside, he leaped into the air and cheered. Pikachu posed behind him and shrieked happily. "Yeah! I just got the earth badge!"

Pikachu screamed again, and thunder rumbled overhead. Ash grinned as he added the badge to his case. Finally, he'd done it! He'd collected 8 objects that only held theoretical value and whose disbursement was random at best and left mostly to the discretion of children or questionable adults.

"I'm a Pokemon Master!" he declared. Pikachu gave him a skeptical look.

Ash turned to look at Pikachu. "And it's all thanks to you, buddy," he said smiling.

Now that was something Pikachu agreed with.

Only one challenge remained now. The Indigo League. A big tournament held yearly for all the strongest trainers. And he wanted to enter. The whole world would know what a great Pikachu he had.

"Whaddya say Pikachu?" he patted the bird's side, then took off his cap and plopped it on the birds head. "Ready to go all the way to the top?"