Pokémon Earth at Peace

[love]

Earth at Peace

Short, standalone atmospheric piece that takes place sometime after the events of Those Who Will Inherit the Earth. Thanks @WildBoots for beta reading.
Preferred feedback: would be nice to get a sense of what kind of tone folks pick up from this, but ultimately it's a simple piece, and there's not much to it.
(05/31/2021 - Made some changes to try to address kintsugi's feedback)
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A light breeze graces the southern hinterlands. Spider lilies and sundrops and blazing stars sway gently, top-heavy with bloom, moist leaves glinting. Beyond them, poppy mallow and golden aster crowd the edge of the clearing, arcing around the branches of a fallen oak. Turkey tail mushrooms cluster together on the bark, their concentric markings hypnotic; lichen fills the gaps with flakes of gold and celadon. Slightly farther south, the oak's roots cling to a clump of dark soil. Sensitive fern emerges here, fronds still small, enjoying shade from an elm tree's overreaching branches. A small, still pool has formed in the depression beneath. There are no insects or eggs near the pool, no dragonflies or mosquitoes or springtails.

Beyond this pool begins the forest. Mulberry bushes take in the patchy sunlight where the oak and hickory branches have yet to fill out. White flowers surround their catkins like frozen sparks. The mulberry yields to swamp bay shrubs deeper in, with leaves dark and lustrous, and stout blue beech bushes. Deeper still, ferns blanket the understory.

The vegetation remains lush all the way to the riverbank. Maypop and cross vine climb the birches, red and violet flowers streaming from crown to base. The river is strong from recent rain, but fringetrees and snakeroots hold the banks in place. Their dense, feathery flowers shine in the sun like powder snow, striking amidst all the green. Throughout the water, glassy eddies form around broken branches, but no fish shelter beneath the wood.

The river descends for a few dozen miles before spilling out into the delta, a swampy mess of emerald and cerulean. Southern wax myrtle, ringed with tall grass, clings to patches of solid land. Farther out, the ocean stretches to the horizon. Downy clouds drift through the periwinkle sky, with no gulls to obscure them.

A rabbitlike creature floats belly-up in the water, white fur gleaming as it basks in the sun. All is nearly silent. Just the ghosting of the wind and the lapping of the waves. The world is as it once was: simple, vast, inviting. It belongs to the few who can enjoy it.

 

[kintsugi]

I've had the nagging feeling that I was forgetting to do something for a while, and yes, I find that question has been sufficiently answered. Apologies. Although I'd say you probably didn't need much of my feedback here anyway; this turned out quite nicely.

A minor quibble on descriptions: I struggled a bit with the river. It's "strong from the recent rain" but "meanders", and there's also a bit of a paradox between "clear" and "mirrorlike" that I couldn't quite untangle with the previous two--in my experience fast-moving water can be clear (but not mirror-like), whereas still water can be reflective (but then it's difficult to see through/isn't immediately clear from that angle). And I think this has more to do with light/reflectivity than with carnivorous lifeforms existing, but if I'm wrong here I'm deeply excited to learn more.

Otherwise the descriptions in general are quite lovely. Tonally, having read TWWItE I imagine things hit differently; the plants are beautiful and everything feels very serene but there's a very definite sense of thrust/direction/discovery; I got the feeling of being pulled deeper into the undergrowth--it's like the camera is moving, and because the focus is changing often it feels like it's building to something rather than staying at peace, which makes the ending work really well imo. I particularly enjoyed the focus on beneaths, of a sort--we'd see something and then see what filled the gaps, what's underneath it, what's deeper still--it does give this explorative tone, which I thought was fitting given the backstory here. And the casual callbacks to what's missing here, what isn't invited to this inheritance, are quite fitting in their callousness.

I admit I'm quite sold that you could ostensibly create Eden by killing off all non-photosynthesizing life and the result would be very pretty, for the few who can enjoy it indeed.

 

[love]

@kintsugi Thank you for feeding back! I think you're right about the river thing. That's the kind of thing that seems obvious, but which I would not have thought of if someone hadn't pointed it out. Despite the fact that I've been looking into streams for the past few weeks to survey fish. Anyway, I have drafted a revision and will take some time to decide how I feel about it.

I admit I'm quite sold that you could ostensibly create Eden by killing off all non-photosynthesizing life and the result would be very pretty, for the few who can enjoy it indeed.

(Ah yes, excellent, she's coming around)

Anyway sounds like the other stuff basically had the intended effect, yippee.

 

[bluesidra]

Hello!

I came here purely lured by the title, and I do not regret it. It is currently a bit after 2am here, and this was exactly what I needed to cool down.

Your narration has a very soft, gentle rhythm to it. The sentences are rather long, but in their structure similar enough to almost feel like a poem. There is a distinct voice of an elderly man in my head reading this. The focus on the details allows for a very relaxed feeling -- safety in this wild place, since the observer is in no hurry to run from any danger. The eyes always follow a line -- down the fallen tree, along a path, along the river to the delta.

I'm not a native speaker, but even if I were, I think I wouldn't know the plants you're mentioning. Which just makes it that more impressive. Like, it reminds me how much different forms of life there are. So many different, very descriptive words. I'm in awe.

This review probably doesn't do much, because it's mainly me gushing. But you've written a really beautiful piece there. A few minor wordchoices I stumbled over:

Sensitive fern emerges here

Sensitive is an odd choice? Like, it refers to an ability rather than an attribute. Slender maybe?

A small, still pool has formed in the depression beneath

Depression, my old friend. It's a perfectly good word to use here, has just some dark implications for me and sounds really harsh. Hollow is a nice, soft alternative

The vegetation remains lush all the way to the riverbank.

"Remains" sounds rather analytical. I would propose "is"

A rabbitlike creature floats belly-up in the water, white fur gleaming as it basks in the sun. All is nearly silent. Just the ghosting of the wind and the lapping of the waves. The world is as it once was: simple, vast, inviting. It belongs to the few who can enjoy it.

So, I know absolutely nothing about PMD, or your fics. But so far there was an emphasis on the absence of "animals". Now we have this one single creature? Kinda breaks the gloomy "life without man" feel I get. But that is me totally not knowing any context.

Ooooh, I now remember where I got the same vibes! Return to the Sea has the same vibe. The entire song is a banger, but from the timestamp I made till the end are the lines that played over and over in my head.

Thanks for the read and the good sleep that will come from it <3

 

[love]

A response to @bluesidra

Thanks for the review. I'm very happy that you enjoyed this piece and that the beauty of the natural world comes through.

Sensitive is an odd choice? Like, it refers to an ability rather than an attribute. Slender maybe?

"Sensitive fern" is a species of fern. This is not the first time I have run into the adjective + noun species name problem...

Depression, my old friend. It's a perfectly good word to use here, has just some dark implications for me and sounds really harsh. Hollow is a nice, soft alternative

"Hollow" seems more appropriate for something that has a hole or empty space inside it, rather than a hole or low area of ground.

"Remains" sounds rather analytical. I would propose "is"

Undecided on this one.

It sure is nice to imagine a peaceful world, and I am glad you shared your feelings on this one.

 

[windskull]

Howdy Love. It’s been a while since I read Those Who Will Inherit the Earth, but I never got around to reading this little atmospheric piece. And, well, you’ve definitely done a great job of making things feel “at peace.” I use quotation marks here because it simultaneously feels full of life, yet empty at the same time. There’s all these beautiful plants… but, like the ending says, few remain to enjoy them.

And I think that’s the vibe you were going for. There’s all this rich, vibrant description of the plant life, but it makes the absence of animals all the more conspicuous. It almost feels paradoxical, that both are true at the same time. And that paradoxical feeling causes things to feel just slightly unsettling. The world is good. Beautiful, even. But it’s empty, and that doesn’t feel natural. It doesn’t feel right.

As always, your prose is rich and vibrant. I can easily picture the scene with a little thought. I think the third paragraph is the most visually distinct for me. The feathery flowers shining like snow, it just gives this clear, crisp mental image. Your prose always has this wonderful, ethereal feel to it, and it’s one of the things I love most about reading your writing. This atmospheric piece is like one big bundle of that feeling.

It ties well to the feeling of the end of TWWITE. So I’d say you did a good job overall. This was a pleasure to read, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Until then, take care.

 

[love]

Thank you @windskull. Your review is very encouraging and makes me feel very fluffy. I might write similar pieces in the future pending negotiations with the muse. They may or may not also conspicuously lack animals.

 

[Panoramic_Vacuum]

Hello hello! I'll preface this review by saying I have not read the parent fic to this one shot (Those Who Will Inherit the Earth), but I wanted to do a "before and after" read of this little one shot, as an experiment. I imagine there's a lot of other meaning to this ficlet after having read the main fic, and a future retrospective read of this seemed like a fun idea. So consider this the unspoiled review!

Right away I'm struck by how beautiful this is. The fic is all description, moving the reader's eye across a landscape but not at a sweeping "birds eye view" scale. No, it's a much more intimate scale, something more quiet and detailed. There's an air of gentleness about it as different plants and fungi are spread before us. Even though I don't know all of these plants and flowers by name, it feels like I've probably walked past a number of these and not realized what I'd seen. And in turn, this fic is the little tap on the shoulder and quiet point going "hey, look, aren't they beautiful?" for each species that goes by. It's eye-opening, in a way. For what amounts to a lot of greenery, it holds an abundance of color, but only if you look closer.

I'm reminded of all the hikes I've taken through bog and bush, forest and stream. This place is a melding of those collective memories, the scents, the sights, the feel of matted vegetation underfoot, the snap of twigs and the rustle of wind through the trees. It's this fantastic place I've never been, but it feels in some way like I have been there before, too.

The comforting air of the place ends there, though. There's a bit of an ominous air about this fic, too, but only from context. What stands out is the mention of a lack of insects or fish or birds in what is otherwise a very natural environment for them to be in. Sure, there's no humans, that's not something startling when it comes to some pokemon fanfiction. But those little mentions combined with the title of this fic and your main fic, it seems as if something has happened to make these absences more noticeable, different, or rare. I'm curious as to how this ties into TWWItE.

You do an awful lot of work with not a lot of words, and the description is always on the move, lingering just long enough to notice something new before sweeping us on to the next discovery. It's a pleasure to read in such a small package. As a stand-alone piece, it's simply lovely.

 

[love]

@Panoramic_Vacuum Thank you very much for your kind words. The diversity of life on earth is endlessly fascinating. I could never decide whether it's best to read this before or after Those Who Will Inherit the Earth, and as far as I know, you're the only person to read them in this order. I would really like to know how that affects the experience. Until then, I am glad you enjoyed.

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, poking my head in for some shorter pieces to review and notch off a few people from my hitlist. This seems like as good a piece as any to jump in on, so let's see what-

Short, standalone atmospheric piece that takes place sometime after the events of Those Who Will Inherit the Earth. Thanks @WildBoots for beta reading.
Preferred feedback: would be nice to get a sense of what kind of tone folks pick up from this, but ultimately it's a simple piece, and there's not much to it.

I remember the note that Those Who Will Inherit the Earth ended on and it was- uh- something. Time for things to get max uncomfy in short order.

A light breeze graces the southern hinterlands. Spider lilies and sundrops and blazing stars sway gently, top-heavy with bloom, moist leaves glinting. Beyond them, poppy mallow and golden aster crowd the edge of the clearing, arcing around the branches of a fallen oak. Turkey tail mushrooms cluster together on the bark, their concentric markings hypnotic; lichen fills the gaps with flakes of gold and celadon. Slightly farther south, the oak's roots cling to a clump of dark soil. Sensitive fern emerges here, fronds still small, enjoying shade from an elm tree's overreaching branches. A small, still pool has formed in the depression beneath. There are no insects or eggs near the pool, no dragonflies or mosquitoes or springtails.

Oh, so Ann left behind the plants when she did her thing, huh? Though how on earth is any of this going to survive long-term if there's literally no animal or Pokémon life to pollinate anything?

Beyond this pool begins the forest. Mulberry bushes take in the patchy sunlight where the oak and hickory branches have yet to fill out. White flowers surround their catkins like frozen sparks. The mulberry yields to swamp bay shrubs deeper in, with leaves dark and lustrous, and stout blue beech bushes. Deeper still, ferns blanket the understory.

Ann: "Ah yes, a beautiful, still garden. Isn't it wonderful?"

The vegetation remains lush all the way to the riverbank. Maypop and cross vine climb the birches, red and violet flowers streaming from crown to base. The river is strong from recent rain, but fringetrees and snakeroots hold the banks in place. Their dense, feathery flowers shine in the sun like powder snow, striking amidst all the green. Throughout the water, glassy eddies form around broken branches, but no fish shelter beneath the wood.

This is all going to die out within a matter of years from there being zero animal life of any form, huh? Since you kinda need those for a sustainable biosphere.

The river descends for a few dozen miles before spilling out into the delta, a swampy mess of emerald and cerulean. Southern wax myrtle, ringed with tall grass, clings to patches of solid land. Farther out, the ocean stretches to the horizon. Downy clouds drift through the periwinkle sky, with no gulls to obscure them.

A rabbitlike creature floats belly-up in the water, white fur gleaming as it basks in the sun. All is nearly silent. Just the ghosting of the wind and the lapping of the waves. The world is as it once was: simple, vast, inviting. It belongs to the few who can enjoy it.

Oh, so in other words, to Ann and maybe Poppy.

Well, that was something. Like it's a lot creepier reading it if you've already got TWWItE under your belt, but even without it, there's this distinct feeling that something's 'wrong' with things from this beautiful, verdant garden... that has nothing other than plants in it at all. The final line about 'It belongs to the few who can enjoy it' and the stuff before it is the thing that seals it, since it makes you ask "wait, what happened to everybody/everything else?" which is ever-so-lovingly answered by TWWItE.

Honestly, this could've worked well as an attached Epilogue to that story @love , since it's pretty and serene, and all sorts of unsettling if you understand how things got to this point. Which I suspect was the intended vibe, so good work there, especially for pulling that off in just over 350 words.

 

[love]

It is time for responses for @Torchic W. Pip and @Spiteful Murkrow

Spoiler: Torchic

I was specifically looking for oneshots/shorter fics, 'cause those are good for my brain and it's been a slower day on my end

Well, everything I have written except for Those Who Will Inherit the Earth is a oneshot, although Firefly Music, at around 10k words, could technically be considered a novelette. Those Who Will Inherit the Earth is messy but memorable, and I think it has impacted people the most out of all my stories.

i'm great at reading comprehension, as you can see.

There is some room for interpretation, but it's safe to say that a lot of things are no longer alive.

Anyway, I sure am glad you liked it. It seems the peace and beauty have come across.

Spoiler: Murkrow

Though how on earth is any of this going to survive long-term if there's literally no animal or Pokémon life to pollinate anything?

I considered how maybe Ann and any others left alive could hand-pollinate (or paw-pollinate, as it were) select pollinator-reliant plants, and it occurred to me that I could have ended this piece with the image of Ann doing just that. It is interesting to think of how that might have changed the piece's aftertaste.

Many flowering plants would die without animals, but I expect that plants reliant on spores or wind pollination could persist. I hope Ann is fond of ferns.

Some time after posting this story, I considered how it might have really made sense as a 14th chapter for Those Who Will Inherit the Earth. But since it was conceived so long after the original, and since it can stand on its own, I decided to keep it separate.

Thanks for taking the time to enjoy my imagined slice of nature. Sure, there are no animals, but who needs them anyway? They're so noisy and... *alive*.