[CYOA] Fanfiction - "Whispers in The Woods"

[game-boi-sp]

I’ve been working on the first episode of my Pokémon fanfiction series - "The Forgotten Realm"

Episode 1 is a choose-your-own-adventure through the town of Mistwood... but dangers lurk as the secrets of the neighboring Whispering Woods loom.

Would anyone be up for giving me feedback or playing? Do you like it? Is it fast enough? What can I improve?

I’ll drop the link to the preview HERE

 

[Negrek]

Gonna move this to a discussion forum, since it seems you're mostly looking for feedback on a preview rather than a complete work.

I think this looks promising! The app definitely allows you to give the story a high level of polish and video game feel, with the graphics and the interactive elements. Unfortunately the interface was a big sluggish for me, and seemed like that got worse as the episode went on, so you might run into problems when you try to create longer chapters. I think this was a good introduction to the way the app works and the money, inventory, etc. systems in the game, but I would have liked to see some more branching options in the storyline! There were a couple places where I could make a choice that would affect the text, but nothing changed the actual story, and there was basically only the one path to follow.

If you enjoy interactive fanfiction, you might like Sutoraiku High, a game where you can date a scyther and start a revolution.

 

[Meridian]

I have mixed feelings on the method of interacting with the preview. The emulation works, but it feels a little laggy since it's web-based, but I also approve of not having to download an emulator. Is this your own custom app, or is the app that's being emulated one that you ported the fic into? I think the startup said Avenue (beta), right? Any of my issues are more with appetize dot io than your fic, as it all seems like otherwise simple setup rather than complex mechanics.

I could see this being run via twine, renpy, or similar as well.
Overall I found it kinda funny to see a father mentioned, as for what's essentially a trainerfic, it's got a little more developed of a family than most mainline protag families get.
I got to about the letter before tabbing here to comment, and accidentally resetting my session, so idk if I want to try again, but it looked neat