TheGOAT
🗿
Howdy!
This is a comedy oneshot I wrote a while back that plays off of the (somewhat accurate) running joke that my PMD fanfic’s three primary characters are stuck in a love triangle, eternally locked in a state of love-me-not as I continue to struggle with writer’s block. Yes, the title is a trigonometry joke, and a really lame one that I’d be happy to make even lamer by explaining in DMs. This oneshot was inspired off of an episode I saw of… some TV show my mother was watching one day when I was younger. I walked into the living room, saw a few minutes of the show, and man, that episode really stuck with me. Seinfeld, I think it was…?
Anyway. Transferring Gravity of Perspective over time TR is a lengthy process and will definitely take a while with my current schedule, but in the meantime, I see no reason not to post this AU tomfoolery that’s been sitting on the shelf. So, enjoy~
BLC folks: unfortunately Astrid isn’t in this ;-; but she is in GoP, for what it’s worth.
Content Warning: this is a highly suggestive oneshot. The premise itself is centered around sexual attraction/interaction. There are various jokes with sexual undertones—some of them subtle, a few of them less so. But rest assured, no explicit acts or thoughts take place in any detail (onscreen or offscreen) during the course of the story.
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She was nervous.
Her delicate steps produced no echo through the manor's extensive hall. Now removed from the entrance, a room of far more grandeur than where she stood now, Espurr relished in the finality that the walls of the hallway emanated. It lacked the fine decor of the other rooms, only boasting a classy red-striped wallpaper. An odd color choice given the individual who resided here.
Not for the first time since her arrival, her mind started to wander. She quickly snapped out of it. She would have none of that, for this was her night with him—hers and hers only! This thought alone filled her gut with longing and spawned a giddy smile that spread across her lips.
Yet her elation was nothing in comparison to the anxiety that had been so foreign to her mannerism, at least until the sequence of events that led her here. Now her nerves were her neighbors; right there in her head and deflating her confidence at the worst possible time. She just needed to breathe, she told herself.
The feline gathered every ounce of willpower she could muster. It was hard enough to stay firm-footed with the flurry of thoughts streaming through her head consisting of every conceivable way she could imagine the next few hours could go.
The vase and candle suspended by her telekinesis didn't help her balance much either. She had brought them to set the mood, although she had little doubt in her suitor’s ability to do so himself. He didn't need namesakes to charm her; she hadn't fallen for him because of his possessions, after all. It was that smile, that glint in his eye whenever the gears in that brain of his started to churn...
Espurr stumbled, losing her focus and nearly dropping her precious cargo. The psychic-type gripped the flower vase tighter now, tilting the vase at an angle to prevent any tedious spillage, before finally deciding to set it down to avoid dealing with the issue altogether. Next to it she dropped the package of chesto berries she brought in case they needed a caffeine boost to stay awake.
Not for the first time since entering the property, she scolded herself for getting lost in thoughts of such denomination—a denomination that would hopefully become irrelevant within the hour given the circumstances of her visit. She mustn't lose her focus now! The implications in the invitation she had received a week ago couldn't have been clearer, and it had been all she could think about since. She had to be presentable both in body and in mind. She couldn't waste this special night!
No, she couldn't. And she wouldn't.
She was at the end of the hallway now, where the bedroom door faced her. After one more deep breath and a full minute of psyching herself up, the feline eased it open just a crack. After deciding the poor lighting wasn't sufficient to peer inside, she nudged it open the rest of the way so she could poke through.
The first thing that stood out to her was a color shift that so drastically contrasted that of the hallway. The room's design paraded an overwhelming blaze of green, with different shades covering different aspects of the interior. The carpet was erected of a rich green thread that simulated grass, whereas the glass door to her right that led to the balcony were tinted a softer lime. The ceiling lantern was absent of light, and thus the uneven light that allowed her to see was entirely dependent on the moonlight’s green hue filtering through the balcony doors. Even the door across the room (she assumed it was a closet) was painted a welcoming oak-green. To Espurr, the entire room might as well have been a forest.
The only conspicuous objects were three of what appeared to be beanbags, all stuffed into the corner of the room and mostly hidden from sight by a set of cabinets.
Espurr's eyes fell first on the bed, which sat on the wall in the center of the room. Curtains from all angles hid the mattress itself from outside view, and her grin was renewed with thoughts of such enclosure. Its position directly across from the glass panel coated its exterior in rays of green, a divine beckoning for her to indulge herself in. She planned to do just that.
Espurr placed her scented candle down on the table by the far wall before walking over the master bed, all while trying to ignore her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. She shook her head at the ridiculous way she was acting. She was getting all worked up and they hadn't even seen each other yet!
With one final deep breath, she parted the threads that concealed the bed, and—
Empty.
Espurr's heart plummeted. Disappointment and relief both exited her in the form of a huff. Her impending lover was nowhere to be found.
She tilted her head a few degrees, uncertain whether to call out for him or to simply lay down and wait. The former sounded more pragmatic; the latter more romantic. Then again, her host had always regarded her with the highest manners, so she assumed he would want to build things up first with a greeting and a chat before getting down to business. She didn't mind either way, of course... maybe he was just tidying himself up?
…Oh! Darn it! Slapping her forehead, she realized she’d left the vase and the berries outside in the hall. With a final glance around the room, Espurr hopped up from her sitting position on the bed and jogged back to get them. She figured now would be a better time than any to set the mood.
She walked out, habitually shutting the door behind her, and softly groaned. She could see the half-dozen flowers in the vase sticking up all the way down the hall a good twenty meters away. Had she really walked so far after abandoning them?
How anti-climatic, she thought.
When she had walked three-quarters the distance to her supplies, the psychic cat effortlessly levitated them once more with the tentative sweep of a paw. As she walked back with her items in tow, she used her free hand to knock herself on the noggin twice. Stumbling around, overthinking things, forgetting things? This was so unlike her! Clumsiness and solicitude were not often found in her library of emotions, yet he was able to shatter her rigid discipline so effortlessly before even seeing each other. When they were finished, she would need to ask him how he did it.
Espurr reached the door again and turned the gilded knob with a bit less delicacy than before. This time, it would not be the bed that drew in her eyes first, but rather the table by the far wall. Her eyes fell instantly upon the candle she had set there moments ago.
On the wick of the candle, lifeless only moments ago, danced an ethereal flame that did little to light the room but plenty to falter Espurr's heartbeat.
—————
She was nervous.
With tight lips, the Fennekin daintily huffed with every other footstep. To an onlooker, her difficulty might've been from the loaded sack thrown around her shoulder, but one extra glance at the lean muscles that accented her thighs would disperse the thought. Her conflict was internal, and she couldn't shake the delirium that had haunted her all day. Or the day before.
Somehow, her anxiety was unable to hold down a silky giggle. Being paranoid was his job, not hers.
She had outlined before coming here, time and time again in her head, that her nerves would not overcome the monumental excitement now nipping at her toes. This was a night that she had been looking forward to, a night she’d choreographed in her head more times than she could count. One that would stand forever a harbinger for her future endeavors with the individual she cherished most. This was her night with him, and hers only.
It wasn't like her to do things like this. She preferred the outdoors. Or, more specifically, she preferred the informal. Fun usually came in the flow of her day, not from an invitation. But perhaps this change of pace would be good for her, she told herself. It was hard to go wrong with a visit like this anyway, right?
As the distant door down the hall drew nearer, she distracted herself with her surroundings to ward away any lingering misgivings, although—Leah frowned—there wasn’t really much to look at. She had grown accustomed to the greens and browns of trees, and she’d assumed her partner would decorate accordingly. He had always been the more aesthetic of the two of them, with an eye for detail and a mind for design. The rest of the manor had exhibited exactly this, as the vixen had found herself stopping more than once to gawk at the elaborate design in the front rooms. The bland, purple-gray wallpaper stretching down this windowless hall felt like such a downgrade from the rooms she'd walked through to reach here, and she wondered why he wouldn't at least color it a much nicer shade of green. Or red.
Leah failed to stop herself from walking right into the door. Her nose bopped the front of it thanks to her idle-minded thoughts, and her bag almost swayed off of her shoulder from the abrupt halt. No harm was done as she caught the bag just in time, but she cursed herself silently anyway. Any of the villagers at her old home would vouch that she’d never possessed an ounce of grace in her speech, but even then, she’d certainly always been one to make the right movements when necessary. Now was not the time to let her nerves work against her!
If only it were that simple, she thought. Just how would she go about this? Here she was, a doorknob away, faced with qualms that were foreign to her in every conceivable way. She had groomed and brushed her fur to no end hours before (an act she rarely, if ever, partook in), yet she felt unkempt. She had run through scenarios and reactions in her head, yet her knees had locked in place and no meaningful words rested on her tongue. She had psyched herself up, yet her confidence was wavering. Assuming that her partner was likely just as nervous didn't help either; he was the one who sent the invitation, after all. He was the one, the only one, who could melt her typical demeanor and leave her a bubbling mixture of nerves and excitement.
Leah’s face hardened. Well… that wasn't gonna stop her! She just had to face it!
She gripped the doorknob with her free paw, and shoved forward. She was gonna leap right into this, charge right through this door, and—
He wasn't here. Where was he?
Leah whipped her head around the room, the excessive fur extending from her ears lagging from the motion. The bed was on the wall to her right, and a glass sliding door was built into the wall to her left. She walked over and peered out at the balcony, but it was barren of life. She had to peer closely at some of the furniture and at the carpet to make sure the bastard wasn't hiding from her and preparing a crafty ambush. She checked under the bed, parted the curtains, and even checked inside the treasure chest at the foot of the bedstead. None yielded results.
A small twinge of disappointment settled in her chest; she wouldn't have minded opening their date with a little game, even one as perennial as hide-and-seek. Even as they'd outgrown their old abstinences, little games and childish exchanges had always remained consistent between them.
Was that what this was? Because if it was, she could’ve at least used a sign. Maybe he was just late, then.
With a prolonged sigh, Leah nonchalantly walked over to the table by the corner. Resting her elbows on the surface, she cupped her paws around her mouth and funneled a meager flame onto the lone candle placed there. The wick ignited almost instantly from the pint-sized heat wave, beguiling the Fennekin to step back for a moment to admire her element. This romantic stuff… yeah, she could still do this!
She nudged the bag off of her shoulder and reached inside with an elicitive paw. She'd brought an array of items ranging from her own candles to a half-dozen assortment of bottled lotions (those she’d stolen from Mawile), and even a heart-shaped pillow that she couldn't pass up buying just for this occasion. Completing her little bag of goodies was a pair of apples. She suppressed a giggle; they would probably get hungry eventually.
Leah eyed the contents of her bag and shrugged. If he wasn't here yet, then she might as well take advantage and continue to set the mood.
Suddenly, she frowned and peered further into the bag. She picked a couple things out and looked underneath them before putting them back inside. Where was her pack of twigs? She knew she’d had them when she’d entered the building, so they were around here somewhere.
Glancing around the room to no avail, a huff of impatience escaped Leah’s lips. She needed those twigs. Chewing on them always calmed her down. Always satiated her tongue, always stifled her nerves.
She paced in a full circle until her eyes caught the half-open door she’d entered through. Remembering her blunder moments before, she scoffed. They’d probably fallen out of her bag when she’d walked into the door.
She trod over and entered the hallway, closing the door behind her but not seeing anything unusual on the carpet. Uttering more curses at the clumsiness bestowed her by this particular evening, Leah tossed her sack of goodies aside and began trudging all the way down the hall to scan the edges for her pack of twigs. It took her a minute and a half to reach the end, and another dejected thirty seconds to jog back to the door once she'd come up with nothing.
It was there that she finally saw them. They'd fallen out of her bag so that they were behind the door when she’d left the bedroom. Shaking her head and sighing, she scooped up the tiny bag and tossed it into the larger one she’d left resting in the middle of the hall. Again swinging it over her shoulder to rest on her back, she re-entered the room.
—————
Espurr’s lungs had frozen in her chest just as her gaze had frozen in place, locked onto the candle she had literally sat across the room just a minute before. She was absolutely certain that the wick hadn't been lit when she left, for she hadn't even brought anything to light it with. Now alive, it competed with the moonlight filtering through the balcony.
Again, Espurr scanned the entire room.
Again, she saw no evidence of life.
Her heart raced. Of course, she knew she was not in danger. But the prospect of being watched still brought about a temporary fit of paranoia. This was like a different kind of danger, one that gave her a strong sense of foreboding even though she was, in actuality, looking forward to its climax.
She looked up to the ceiling. It was no more or less plain than she’d determined it to be a moment ago; she couldn't see any secret panels or other such aberrations that might serve as hiding places.
She frowned. How long had she even been out in the hall for? It couldn't have been longer than a couple of minutes. So then where was he?
The temptation to spread out her psychic senses arose, but she stopped herself once two significant dots connected in her head.
If he wanted to be seen, he wouldn't be hiding.
If he was hiding and setting up candles while she was out of the room, then he was up to something.
Espurr pursed her lips into a smirk and nodded in no particular direction. Okay, fine, she thought. Two can play at this game.
The heavy vase levitated off of the carpet and into the air, drawn up and forward at the wave of Espurr’s paw. Being far more careful with the breakable commodity than she had been in the hallway, she commanded it to rest on one of the bedside tables.
She stood by the bed for a moment in a contemplative moment of staring at her work. She supposed that there had been her “turn” in this little game she was actively inventing with her favorite person. So now she should just exit the room, right? It wasn't like she'd done much, but she supposed that was the subtle nature of the game.
Espurr found the very concept of her actions amusing. Funny enough to alleviate some of the tension in her shoulders and legs. As she snaked her way towards the door, a smile spread across her face. This was going to be an interesting night.
—————
Leah walked back into the room half-expecting it to be occupied. To her dismay, this was not the case.
The fire-type saw no movement or signs of life, but she did see something out of the ordinary. Something that hadn't been there before.
She narrowed her eyes at the bedside table and took a single hesitant step forward. Born from perplexity, a crude remark escaped her as a whisper. “What the hell?”
In the time she’d been out in the hall, a flower vase had been placed there.
Appeared. Materialized. Surfaced out of thin air.
She dared not move too quickly. Instead, she scanned the room for unnatural movement.
The candle she’d lit a couple minutes ago now worked against her shimmering heartbeat, casting animated light patterns into the corners of the room where the moonlight did not reach. For a brief moment, a different form of anxiety encompassed her. Oh, how she hated ghosts! Hated the concept, hated everything about them. The very thought of them made her neck tense up and dropped a ball of iron into her chest. She had to stop herself from losing her cool and drawing the weapon stored in the fluff of her tail. She’d almost left her wand behind simply because she didn't want to remove it and then forget it here, but part of her was glad that it was with her now.
But with that thought, and with a final sweeping glance of the room to confirm there was nothing lurking in the shadows, Leah shook her head. There were no stupid ghosts here. Why would there be, and how? She knocked herself on the forehead with a closed paw. Get it together, you stupid Miltank!
Her eyes fell back to the bedside table, and a frown rested above her chin. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind that the table had sat barren only a minute ago. It was a rather ugly vase, she felt, with its thick ovular shape at the base and with its unusual flower patterns that appeared to have taken all of two minutes to paint on.
Notwithstanding, could not help but crack a smile at the flower sticking out of it. A single rose peeked out at her like an eruption of lava, boasting an adorable shade of red.
The realization tumbled onto the fox like a pile of bricks, jarring her in the midst of her thoughts to such volume that she audibly scoffed in amusement. Then, as to remain within the parameters of the game she had just come to terms with, she silenced herself just as quickly.
Leah’s eyes narrowed. He wanted to play hide-and-seek after all, huh? And tease her by planting little namesakes around the room when she wasn’t looking? Well, she would show him!
In that moment, the weight of her bag was particularly conspicuous on her back. Carefully removing it from around her shoulder and onto the carpet, Leah leaned on her haunches so that she could rummage through its contents with both paws. She needed something… nice. Something to really kick things off. Something that would one-up that silly little vase. She could already imagine he had some sort of romantic symbolism planned for that rose, like some stupidly-romantic line about how the petals couldn’t compare to the crimson fathoms of her own irises, something that she’d surely tease him for but would make her melt all the same. Conversely, she thought, maybe the rose was just his way of being as blunt as possible.
No sooner had the prior criteria crossed Leah’s mind than she’d already produced her first weapon of choice. The white bottle of lotion felt strange in her paw at first, and its fragrance failed to quell her curiosities upon releasing the cap’s seal. Perplexed, Leah briefly gave the logo a glance. A suggestive picture of a Flaafy was printed onto the plastic front of the bottle. The text above it read ‘Dashing and Glorious!’ in big letters, along with ‘body lotion for electric-type Pokemon’ italicized below the Flaafy’s feet near the bottom.
All of this earned a quirked eyebrow from the Fennekin; she was definitely not here to see an electric-type Pokemon, nor was she one herself. She glanced further into the sack to look for the other five bottles she’d abducted from the historian’s office, only to find that their purpose was no different. Damn it, she should’ve looked at the label before swiping them!
A bit disheartened but certainly not deflated, Leah just shrugged. She could only use what she had.
After a second or two of looking around for somewhere to place the lotion, she settled her gaze on the massive storage chest at the foot of the bed. Smiling to herself, she trod over with her bag in tow and produced two more of the bottles when she got there. Moving an old parchment out of the way, she placed her items standing up and in the form of a triangle where they could clearly be seen from anywhere in the room.
Leah stepped back with a smirk scribbled on her face, before a frown quickly replaced it. The logos with the Flaafy visuals were still partly visible, so she quickly rearranged the triangle of standing bottles to where the front of each bottle faced inwards. That looked much better, she decided.
Collecting her bag and popping a twig in her mouth to dangle freely, she made her way back to the hallway. There, she resolved to wait a couple of minutes before re-entering.
Her smirk returned. If he intended to respond, then she would allow him all the time he needed.
—————
For the third time that night, Espurr nudged open the door and poked her head through.
They were impossible to miss. On top of the storage chest stood a triangle of opaque plastic containers that she knew, for a fact, had not been there a few minutes before. If any doubts persisted in the corners of her mind pertaining to this game, they were now thoroughly quashed.
There was no hesitation with her entrance this time. She now moved with a purpose.
She squeezed through the door and made her way over to the room’s new additions. As she approached, her telepathic will brought forth one of the containers to meet her halfway, falling into her paws so she could investigate.
Some of Espurr’s anxiety was momentarily subdued by a giggle. Lotion for electric-types? What in the world? She would definitely have to ask him about that one.
She placed the bottle back and got to work. With the bag of chesto berries grasped firmly in her paw, Espurr tiptoed over to bedside table as she unzipped the seal. Moving with haste, she planted a single berry on its surface, stifling another giggle born from her mischief.
The feline foresaw that the message she’d sent would be clear enough. It was no secret how much caffeine was packed into Chesto berries. Enough of them could keep a Snorlax from falling asleep for a week. Perfect for a night like this.
She hurried back to the door she'd entered through, which she closed as quietly as she could behind her. Now outside once again, the waiting game was set to resume.
—————
Leah’s mouth watered. She’d have never guessed this would be what made her salivate on this particular night, but she wasn't about to complain.
A sigh of contentment left her. Oh, he knew her so well. Of course he’d gotten her some of her favorite snack!
The chesto berry plummeted down her throat to disappear forever, but she knew that would not be the last. There would be plenty more to follow. Was this possibly her reward for playing along? The thought made her giggle; by all means, that was fine by her.
Her turn. Her next item of choice was the plain, heart-shaped feather pillow. It was small enough for Leah to grip with her teeth but large enough to drag on the floor as she attempted to move it, which she immediately did.
At first she was weary of placing it on the bed out of fear that it wouldn’t be seen. However, she quickly shrugged off the notion after a bit of experimentation with the curtains. They could be pulled all the way back where they would remain open and leave the bed exposed.
Satisfied her addition to the room would be seen now, Leah threw her neck back to gather momentum, and then thrust forward to toss the pillow onto the bed. It landed upside-down among the green rectangular pillows, where the red stuck out like a pimple on the green bedspread.
She momentarily considered hopping onto the bed and adjusting it, but did not pursue the urge far. He’d put up with her disorganized butt for long enough that tossing insignificant things around for him to insist on straightening up was commonplace. She could already see what his reaction would be, hear his chide…
She shook out of the endeared trance. She had to go now. Her turn was complete.
—————
Espurr had barely gotten two steps into the room before her eyebrows shot up. There was no way she could've missed the hulking red pillow tossed nonchalantly onto the bedcover.
He’d clearly tossed it on there in some kind of haste, not to say that was surprising. The adjustment only took a second with the help of her telekinesis.
What captured her attention most was the choice of object. Where in the world he got such a ridiculously-adorable pillow, she couldn’t guess. But it was evident enough that it was here especially for tonight.
Goodness me. He really must've come prepared.
Now it was her turn again.
Espurr’s eyes panned over to where she’d placed the chesto berry minutes before. Unsurprisingly, it was gone. She could not help but smile; her message had been received.
Next she found herself regarding the bed with a newfound curiosity, taking in its finer details. It was a really, really nice bed. It was so large—compared to her, at least—that Espurr had to leap up onto it in order to further adjust the pillow to her contentment, something that she felt the need to do by hand for nothing more than the sake of touching it.
“Mmm…” Experimentally, she indulged her face in its tantalizing softness. She could definitely snuggle up and fall asleep against this.
Espurr hopped back down and began to scan the room for inspiration. She figured she had a limited amount of time to use her turn, and since she really hadn't walked in with a concrete plan, she would need to use those seconds wisely.
To her dismay, there was nothing in immediate view that made sense to use. All she had left to place were more chesto berries, and moving around pre-existing objects like plants and tables would simply be underachieving. She needed to find something else.
Eventually her eyes settled on the cupboard standing against the wall she’d entered the room from. The upper half was decked with books of all colors and sizes, but the lower section was closed off by wooden cabinet doors transfixed with glass panes through which Espurr was revealed an accumulation of breakables. She made her way over and opened one of the doors to get a better view.
Plates, bowls, silverware. She didn't need any of that. What really caught her sight was the vast assortment of candles of all shapes and sizes crammed into the corner. She pulled two of them out with her paws to inspect them further, then the rest with telekinesis. A tiny small crossed her face. These would do the trick.
On hurried feet, she picked out various spots around the room to set down the candles, beginning with the bedside tables and moving onto the other items of decor in the room. The larger candles with pedestals she placed on tables and low and spaced-out shelves, whereas the smaller candles she nestled wherever they could wouldn’t risk burning something down when lit. She even placed a couple of them on the floor in her haste to use them all.
She'd placed somewhere in the neighborhood of two-dozen candles. She almost doubted they could all be lit in time, but shook off the thought. He’d lit the first one, likely with a lighter or some similar tool, and hopefully possessed the footspeed to handle this too. Of course, she could always just wait a little longer and give him that time.
With that thought, it occurred to Espurr just how badly she’d overstayed her turn’s welcome. So, with the same haste as before, she hurried out of the room to wait once again.
—————
Upon entering the bedroom for the fourth time, Leah wasn't sure where to start.
Candles. Everywhere. Too many to count from a single glance.
Something told her she ought to feel flattered, and it did not take her but a moment to give into that notion entirely. The mutual reliance and appreciation for each other that she shared with him was no secret to anyone who knew them; perhaps this was his way of showing that. She guessed this meant she was supposed to be, like, the fire in his life or something cheesy like that. The symbolism behind setting them out for her to light was obvious, but it was the execution that left a stupid-looking grin on her face. What a nerd, making her feel this way with these elaborate schemes!
The sheer change in landscape caught her so off guard that she spent several passing seconds just taking it in. She wanted to laugh or giggle or make some kind of contented sound, but she forced herself into a suppressed chuckle in order to remain within the game’s unofficial but covert guidelines. Even if the aspect of stealth was mostly fabricated, it turned her on enough to play along to the fullest extent possible. That meant she had no time to waste.
The Fennekin breathed in chilly air through her nose and flicked her tongue to spark a meager, controlled flame. She began to light the candles—holy Miltank, there had to be at least thirty!—as she went, walking in a circle around the room while occasionally spitting coin-sized fireballs at those out of reach. She knew she had to be careful when doing so (causing a house fire was probably not part of the game) and yet a certain urgency in her step from the night’s rising action led her to nearly do just that more than once.
Even with jittery legs and a fluttering heart, it would be her aim that won out in the end. With each candle in sight lit up without anything damaged, Leah took a step towards the wall and evaluated her work. The room had transformed into something entirely different from the moonlit space it was moments ago. The green hue had been far eclipsed by the orange candlelight that permeated even the darkest corners of the room.
For a moment, she was indecisive. Even if the bed had curtains, they were thin and could not block out any significant amount of light from the outside. Notwithstanding her fire-typing, she’d always been a bigger fan of the dark… specifically outdoors. While this was not an outdoor affair for reasons that were obvious, she at least assumed it would be more fitting to get down to business without the distraction of sight. The bed curtains were otherwise useless to begin with. And that wasn’t even getting into the whole fire hazard issue—meh. Whatever, it didn’t matter now. The candles could always be blown out later. In the meantime, though, they had done their job of making her feel valued.
As she passed back into the hallway to wait, her grin had not faded even a little.
—————
Espurr had to shield her eyes for a moment to adjust to the onslaught of light. Gone was the tranquil atmosphere of dark, moonlit green; in its place was the same simulation of nature, but visualized at noon rather than midnight. The feline’s scheme had produced results far brighter than she expected, adding to her surprise for how the candles could’ve all been lit so quickly. None of them had been spared.
“Impressive,” she whispered under her breath.
It took ten seconds or so of admiring the reborn room for Espurr to realize she was on the clock. She cursed her passiveness under her breath, glancing around for anything new she could use. Anything she could do, she needed to do now.
As she looked around, inspiration flickered here and there before fizzling out just as quickly. Everything she thought of was either irrational or impractical. She might try and set out those dishes from earlier, but that would take too long and wouldn’t accomplish anything. There was a bookshelf by the far wall with hundreds of books lined up, but they did not mix well with the candles. She could… open the balcony door, but that would only let in an undesirable draft that would ruin the mood. Maybe—maybe she could…
With a final glance around, she slumped her shoulders. There was nothing. While the room was large and more complex than she’d initially expected upon her arrival, it didn’t exactly lend itself to a game of this nature. Even finding the candles had really just been luck.
It had to have been at least a minute since her turn began, yet only her eyes had done work so far while her feet had remained glued to the carpet. This was not a game of ‘see’, this was a game of ‘do’! Espurr showed no physical signs of panic at her lack of ideas, but her thoughts were permeated by a voice that wouldn’t stop repeating, ‘Hurry, hurry, hurry!’
So, Espurr abandoned her rational planning and did the very next thing that came to mind. She hustled over to one of the thin, high-standing tables by the walls and, with as much gentleness as she could muster under the influence of adrenaline, used her powers to flip it upside-down where it lay on its surface. Each of its four legs now stuck into the air like flagpoles while the green tablecloth had fallen off and laid uselessly on the carpet.
This will have to suffice for now, Espurr concluded. She looked over her ‘work’ for a moment and ran her paw through the fur on her head. At the very least, it stands as proof I was here.
As she jogged back towards her hallway, disappointment briefly manifested as a stone in her chest. Exactly what had that been, just now? Surely she could do better than that, and yet what else could she have done?
The door closed behind her, and her vision was filled with the bleeding red of the hallway once more.
Oh well… she thought. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.
—————
It took Leah a few seconds to notice what had changed, though no amount of time or speculation would reveal to her why.
She tip-toed around a couple of candles and stopped in front of the tall, overturned table. It wasn’t damaged or anything, just… not upright. It took the Fennekin nearly a full minute of sniffing around to convince her that there was no hidden message for her to find.
Pfft. Now he’s just being silly.
She pursed her lips before finally caving into a dry fit of giggling. Maybe he was being blunt like he was with the rose and was trying to tell her he would… flip her over or something? The very thought made her giggle hard enough to chastise herself afterward that she might’ve been too loud. As rare as it was for her to worry about taking her chances with things, being heard was not something she wanted.
Leah tore her eyes away from the table to search elsewhere. What could she do, or use…? There didn’t seem to be anything obvious that could set the mood further, and she’d already exhausted her sack of goodies. However, there was one thing that caught her eye that she somehow hadn’t seen before: a collection of beanbags stuffed securely into the corner of the room. With a final glance around to make sure there wasn’t anything better to use, she hopped over to inspect further.
With her teeth, she pulled them out from on top of one another. There were three—one green, one red, one purple—all of them about as large as she was. They were softer than anticipated, so she bit down delicately to avoid tearing through and spilling their beady contents out onto the floor.
Leah took a step back to observe what she’d dragged out. Even if there wasn’t much special about them, these were the best she could find. The question was now what to do with them.
It did not take long for the answer to come to her.
In an instant, Leah bounced back over to the upside-down table. She wrapped her front paws around its overturned legs and spent a few seconds trying to find the right position to grip and pull it away from the wall. Immediately, her disadvantage made itself far more apparent than she’d have liked. This would be so much easier if she was bipedal! She knew she’d already used up a minute of time, maybe longer—she would need to hurry.
Fortunately, the table was just light enough for her muscular hind legs to win out, and she was able to pull it far enough out for her to get on the other side and begin the much easier task of pushing.
Once she’d pushed it to the center of the bedroom, she dashed over to the beanbags and, with a little less care than before, scooped up the red one and made her way back over to the table and placed it where she saw fit.
By the time she’d placed all three, she was out of breath. This struggle increased with each fit of laughter she tried so hard to prevent from sounding off into the hallways as she admired her handiwork.
The purple and red cushions were, respectively, leaned up against either side of the upside-down table. The legs of the table stuck about a meter higher into the air than her head did, and had been wide enough for Leah to reach up and plant the green beanbag on top.
There, in the middle of the room, stood her mischievous masterpiece. A work of art with all the appropriate implications.
When the Fennekin exited the room right afterward, there was a foreboding sense of urgency in her step. She was sure of it now; it would not be long before the game reached a climax.
—————
It was time.
Clearly, it was time. As vague and ambiguous as the gambit had been, Espurr knew exactly what this meant. The makeshift statue towering over her couldn’t have been more to the point.
She could feel each individual candle in the room now, all ignited and spread out where she’d left them. One thing was certain: they were not needed any longer. As odd as this was given that they had only been in use for mere minutes, Espurr knew the brightness would be a bane for what was to come. Levitating them all towards her to be blown out was just the next step to be taken towards reaching that point, just as the act of lighting them had been.
When the last of the artificial light was quelled and moonlight resumed its dominance over the room, Espurr was short of breath. But blowing out the candles hardly had anything to do with that. Something far heavier than bated breath stirred inside her. Her psyche began to collapse with the wild thoughts of what was yet to come, and with them came thoughts she was less familiar with—doubt and trepidation.
She was nervous.
Now that the room had reverted to its darkened state, it was almost like nothing had happened. Only the provocative beanbag statue stood as obvious proof of the night’s exchange, blocking already-sparse amounts of light from reaching the bed. Any rays of moonlight that managed to reach that would not penetrate through the curtains to the sheets they harbored, where sight would be lost entirely to sensation. It was only a matter of time.
Somehow, some way, Espurr willed herself towards the bed. Darkness swallowed her whole the moment she fully entered. Some primal instinct within her clawed upon her telepathic awareness, and her heart beat even faster when she adamantly struck that instinct down. She didn’t need to see. As much as she hated total darkness, she wanted everything to be natural. She would not spoil herself that.
Only a matter of time…
—————
Leah stood frozen at the doorway.
There was not even enough light to cast a shadow. The poignant light of the bedroom mixed with the slightly-less-poignant light of the hallway, beckoning the Fennekin into the room she could only barely make out. But her legs wouldn’t answer the call. Every joint in her body tightened up, and her breath became shallower and shallower. After all her shenanigans, she had frozen up like a stone now that the moment of truth had arrived.
She was nervous.
It had to have been her fault to not expect this. The game didn’t feel like it had been dragging on, at least not to her , but she realized it likely just her own elation that had willed such mischief on for however many turns it had been. As much as it had helped stay her prior inhibitions, and as much as she knew it would likely not be of anyone’s concern once first contact was made, Leah could not keep her nerves at bay that it was over sooner than an eternity had passed. Her heart fluttered at the very realization that, as chances would have it, she was no longer alone in the room.
With bated breath, she dared herself to take a step forward. The carpet underneath had undergone no change, yet seemed to tug at her paws like grass knots with each silent stride. The journey to the bedside was only seven, maybe eight paces, but to her it felt like twenty.
This would be her final turn before the real game began.
Her steps were uncharacteristically delicate the closer she got to the bedside; by the time she was a step away, she could not hear herself exist. Finally, this was it. At that very thought, a strange onset of peace eased some—not all, but some—of the tension in her shoulders. All of this stress, it wasn’t who she was. She was overthinking this, overcomplicating what was supposed to be the best night of her life. The bed, why she’d come, who she desired most to hold close—it was all only a nose-length away. Just climb in.
She climbed in.
—————
Espurr did not need extrasensory abilities to know she wasn’t alone.
The weight of the bed shifting ever-so-slightly under her was all the indication she needed. The lack of a visual forced her mind’s eye to create one itself as the figure next to her got comfortable—she envisioned his prone figure next to hers, finding the best angle to snuggle underneath the covers. Waiting to be joined.
Once more, her thoughts ran wild, well beyond her control. She briefly worried that they might’ve accidentally been projected out, but would ultimately not end up dwelling on it for long. As if her beating heart hadn’t already given away her position anyway. As if she were even hiding in the first place.
With boldness she did not know she possessed, Espurr rolled further onto her side and inched herself ever-so-slightly in the direction of her one and only. Like two bullets on a collision course, they met together at a single point with explosive ramifications.
The smallest of breaths could be heard from across her when their noses first made accidental contact, leading Espurr to realize she had been holding her own for longer than she realized. She dared not say a word, for it was obvious that either of them would’ve done so by now if such a thing were necessary.
The ensuing embrace was unlike anything she’d ever felt. Even so, she knew well that this was only a pebble in comparison to the mountains of pleasure that were hopefully to come. The air of their enclosed chamber shifted dramatically, and suddenly it felt like they had traveled to their own little pocket in space light years away from their daily lives. Left behind with the hug was every fear and doubt she’d had in herself, leading her to a world of warmth that she had no anticipated nor resisted against.
He was soft—a lot softer than she remembered him to be in the past. So soft that pressing herself closer was an act that required no thought but also warranted plenty along the lines of why. Why was he so soft? Despite this, her curiosities were quickly drowned in a sea of euphoria, for each atom of hers that touched each atom of his intoxicated her too much to care. She was probably just imagining things, and decided to shove those thoughts aside so she could focus more on cuddling.
Their breathing mixed, and Espurr realized how close their faces had to be for such a thing to be possible. Their noses did not touch a second time, for each bent their necks sideways to close the gap that would eventually lead—
“What on earth is going on?”
Espurr nearly choked on her own bated breath. She wasn’t sure which had jarred her more: the sudden voice, or the painfully-bright light that pierced through the opening in the bed curtains. Sage was peeking through with a blank stare on his face, eyes fixated on her. Her and…
Still without moving her head, Espurr hesitantly returned her gaze to the person she was locked in an embrace with. Their faces were mere millimeters apart, but the pallet of yellow that encompassed her field of view was all that was needed to turn her blood to ice.
“AAAAH!”
Espurr wasn’t sure who pushed away first, but it hardly mattered when a violent puff of smoke slammed into her and invaded her eyes and nostrils. For a moment she became tangled in the covers from her impulsive haste to get away. She quickly ran out of bed underneath her, and to the floor she went, taking some of the sheets with her.
Immediately, Espurr clawed at the fabric entangling her torso. All the while, her wild thoughts had transitioned into wild thoughts of a less-desirable kind, generating countless questions without any clear answers.
Why was she in bed with Leah just now? Where had Sage been before now? What about their game? …Why was she in bed with Leah just now?!
“Oh shit,” a voice—definitely Sage’s—called from the front of the bedstead. “I-I thought I only invited—I mean, uh…d-did I interrupt something?”
After untangling herself from the last of the stray covers, not a moment had passed before Espurr was on her feet. Sage stood by the storage box at the foot of the bed, nervously glancing between her and Leah as they both got to their feet. She could see everything in the room clearly, illuminated by the ceiling light that had initially broken her out of her stupor.
“What the—where…?!” For a moment Leah mirrored the psychic-type’s own shock and awe. Then, a flash of anger quickly captured the Fennekin’s expression as reality began to sink in. Her eyes flew between Espurr and Sage, finally resting on Espurr. “What’re you even doing here?!”
A befuddled Espurr took a step back. “I—I…was invited here. Invited for…”
The psychic-type faltered. Her attention briefly flew back to the bed, but then rested firmly on Leah. With the silence came reality, plowing into them both with unprecedented magnitude. Both girls redirected their attention to Sage, glaring daggers into the Snivy. From the ferocity of their looks alone, he took an apprehensive step back.
“What’s going on here?!”
Sage’s mouth hung part-way open, a question suspended on his tongue. When he finally did manage to articulate himself, he sounded far more reserved than usual. “I can—uhh… err, what are you talking about?”
“You invited me here for a special night!” Leah hissed.
If it were somehow possible, those words made Espurr’s heart sink even further to the floor.
“I… did do that, yes. Haha…ha…” The Snivy faked joviality, though it was clear his skills of deception were lacking in every category. “I… actually invited you both for… for our first official book club! ”
Nothing made a sound. Not even the wind. Both girls could do nothing but stare at the jittery Snivy. A follow-up question waited to be asked, yet it was though his words had not quite registered yet.
Sage visibly squirmed in place as the quietude dragged on. He finally broke the trance himself by taking careful side-steps toward the bookshelf on the far wall, avoiding a couple unlit candles along the way.
Espurr finally found it in herself to speak, repeating his words slowly as though she’d heard him incorrectly. “Book…club…?”
“Um… book club, yeah.” Sage began to comb through the books on the shelf, skimming horizontally at first and then vertically when he couldn’t find what he needed. “Uh… I sent you both an invitation for this like a week ago. I totally even outlined all of the adventures we would go on and the…” he cleared his throat. “…fun we’d have together. All three of us, and stuff.”
From within her bag of twigs, Leah produced the suggestive invitation she’d received. She read it over twice, and then a third time for good measure. Nowhere was a book club ever mentioned. Nowhere was it implied that there would be three participants.
Finallying having found a book that fit his tastes, the Snivy made his way back over to the girls, neither of whom had moved an inch. He attempted to hide his state of unease by casting a curious glance at the architecture behind him. “…In the meantime, um… what exactly happened to my table?”
Espurr and Leah shared a prolonged glance.
“—And why are all these candles scattered around? They’re a fire hazard.” Sage rubbed the back of his head. “We don’t wanna catch our… books on fire, y’know?”
Sage’s inquiry hung suspended in the air, unanswered by either of the girls. From the foul looks they were giving him, it became clear he would not receive the answer he wanted.
“Uh… girls? Eheh… We can talk about this, right?” Sage chuckled nervously, resting a vine on the upside-down table.
As a last ditch effort, he put on the realest fake smile he could muster and squeaked, “…I-I’ve got hemipenes… sharing is caring, right?”
Unfortunately for Sage, Espurr reflected, this was not meant to be a night of conversation. This was a night of action.
Espurr turned her head. “…Hey… Leah?”
Leah met her gaze. “…Yes, Espurr?”
“How bad do you think it would hurt someone if they got accidentally tossed off the balcony?”
Leah blinked. A mutual agreement was born.
“…Only one way to find out.”
This is a comedy oneshot I wrote a while back that plays off of the (somewhat accurate) running joke that my PMD fanfic’s three primary characters are stuck in a love triangle, eternally locked in a state of love-me-not as I continue to struggle with writer’s block. Yes, the title is a trigonometry joke, and a really lame one that I’d be happy to make even lamer by explaining in DMs. This oneshot was inspired off of an episode I saw of… some TV show my mother was watching one day when I was younger. I walked into the living room, saw a few minutes of the show, and man, that episode really stuck with me. Seinfeld, I think it was…?
Anyway. Transferring Gravity of Perspective over time TR is a lengthy process and will definitely take a while with my current schedule, but in the meantime, I see no reason not to post this AU tomfoolery that’s been sitting on the shelf. So, enjoy~
BLC folks: unfortunately Astrid isn’t in this ;-; but she is in GoP, for what it’s worth.
Content Warning: this is a highly suggestive oneshot. The premise itself is centered around sexual attraction/interaction. There are various jokes with sexual undertones—some of them subtle, a few of them less so. But rest assured, no explicit acts or thoughts take place in any detail (onscreen or offscreen) during the course of the story.
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
She was nervous.
Her delicate steps produced no echo through the manor's extensive hall. Now removed from the entrance, a room of far more grandeur than where she stood now, Espurr relished in the finality that the walls of the hallway emanated. It lacked the fine decor of the other rooms, only boasting a classy red-striped wallpaper. An odd color choice given the individual who resided here.
Not for the first time since her arrival, her mind started to wander. She quickly snapped out of it. She would have none of that, for this was her night with him—hers and hers only! This thought alone filled her gut with longing and spawned a giddy smile that spread across her lips.
Yet her elation was nothing in comparison to the anxiety that had been so foreign to her mannerism, at least until the sequence of events that led her here. Now her nerves were her neighbors; right there in her head and deflating her confidence at the worst possible time. She just needed to breathe, she told herself.
The feline gathered every ounce of willpower she could muster. It was hard enough to stay firm-footed with the flurry of thoughts streaming through her head consisting of every conceivable way she could imagine the next few hours could go.
The vase and candle suspended by her telekinesis didn't help her balance much either. She had brought them to set the mood, although she had little doubt in her suitor’s ability to do so himself. He didn't need namesakes to charm her; she hadn't fallen for him because of his possessions, after all. It was that smile, that glint in his eye whenever the gears in that brain of his started to churn...
Espurr stumbled, losing her focus and nearly dropping her precious cargo. The psychic-type gripped the flower vase tighter now, tilting the vase at an angle to prevent any tedious spillage, before finally deciding to set it down to avoid dealing with the issue altogether. Next to it she dropped the package of chesto berries she brought in case they needed a caffeine boost to stay awake.
Not for the first time since entering the property, she scolded herself for getting lost in thoughts of such denomination—a denomination that would hopefully become irrelevant within the hour given the circumstances of her visit. She mustn't lose her focus now! The implications in the invitation she had received a week ago couldn't have been clearer, and it had been all she could think about since. She had to be presentable both in body and in mind. She couldn't waste this special night!
No, she couldn't. And she wouldn't.
She was at the end of the hallway now, where the bedroom door faced her. After one more deep breath and a full minute of psyching herself up, the feline eased it open just a crack. After deciding the poor lighting wasn't sufficient to peer inside, she nudged it open the rest of the way so she could poke through.
The first thing that stood out to her was a color shift that so drastically contrasted that of the hallway. The room's design paraded an overwhelming blaze of green, with different shades covering different aspects of the interior. The carpet was erected of a rich green thread that simulated grass, whereas the glass door to her right that led to the balcony were tinted a softer lime. The ceiling lantern was absent of light, and thus the uneven light that allowed her to see was entirely dependent on the moonlight’s green hue filtering through the balcony doors. Even the door across the room (she assumed it was a closet) was painted a welcoming oak-green. To Espurr, the entire room might as well have been a forest.
The only conspicuous objects were three of what appeared to be beanbags, all stuffed into the corner of the room and mostly hidden from sight by a set of cabinets.
Espurr's eyes fell first on the bed, which sat on the wall in the center of the room. Curtains from all angles hid the mattress itself from outside view, and her grin was renewed with thoughts of such enclosure. Its position directly across from the glass panel coated its exterior in rays of green, a divine beckoning for her to indulge herself in. She planned to do just that.
Espurr placed her scented candle down on the table by the far wall before walking over the master bed, all while trying to ignore her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. She shook her head at the ridiculous way she was acting. She was getting all worked up and they hadn't even seen each other yet!
With one final deep breath, she parted the threads that concealed the bed, and—
Empty.
Espurr's heart plummeted. Disappointment and relief both exited her in the form of a huff. Her impending lover was nowhere to be found.
She tilted her head a few degrees, uncertain whether to call out for him or to simply lay down and wait. The former sounded more pragmatic; the latter more romantic. Then again, her host had always regarded her with the highest manners, so she assumed he would want to build things up first with a greeting and a chat before getting down to business. She didn't mind either way, of course... maybe he was just tidying himself up?
…Oh! Darn it! Slapping her forehead, she realized she’d left the vase and the berries outside in the hall. With a final glance around the room, Espurr hopped up from her sitting position on the bed and jogged back to get them. She figured now would be a better time than any to set the mood.
She walked out, habitually shutting the door behind her, and softly groaned. She could see the half-dozen flowers in the vase sticking up all the way down the hall a good twenty meters away. Had she really walked so far after abandoning them?
How anti-climatic, she thought.
When she had walked three-quarters the distance to her supplies, the psychic cat effortlessly levitated them once more with the tentative sweep of a paw. As she walked back with her items in tow, she used her free hand to knock herself on the noggin twice. Stumbling around, overthinking things, forgetting things? This was so unlike her! Clumsiness and solicitude were not often found in her library of emotions, yet he was able to shatter her rigid discipline so effortlessly before even seeing each other. When they were finished, she would need to ask him how he did it.
Espurr reached the door again and turned the gilded knob with a bit less delicacy than before. This time, it would not be the bed that drew in her eyes first, but rather the table by the far wall. Her eyes fell instantly upon the candle she had set there moments ago.
On the wick of the candle, lifeless only moments ago, danced an ethereal flame that did little to light the room but plenty to falter Espurr's heartbeat.
—————
She was nervous.
With tight lips, the Fennekin daintily huffed with every other footstep. To an onlooker, her difficulty might've been from the loaded sack thrown around her shoulder, but one extra glance at the lean muscles that accented her thighs would disperse the thought. Her conflict was internal, and she couldn't shake the delirium that had haunted her all day. Or the day before.
Somehow, her anxiety was unable to hold down a silky giggle. Being paranoid was his job, not hers.
She had outlined before coming here, time and time again in her head, that her nerves would not overcome the monumental excitement now nipping at her toes. This was a night that she had been looking forward to, a night she’d choreographed in her head more times than she could count. One that would stand forever a harbinger for her future endeavors with the individual she cherished most. This was her night with him, and hers only.
It wasn't like her to do things like this. She preferred the outdoors. Or, more specifically, she preferred the informal. Fun usually came in the flow of her day, not from an invitation. But perhaps this change of pace would be good for her, she told herself. It was hard to go wrong with a visit like this anyway, right?
As the distant door down the hall drew nearer, she distracted herself with her surroundings to ward away any lingering misgivings, although—Leah frowned—there wasn’t really much to look at. She had grown accustomed to the greens and browns of trees, and she’d assumed her partner would decorate accordingly. He had always been the more aesthetic of the two of them, with an eye for detail and a mind for design. The rest of the manor had exhibited exactly this, as the vixen had found herself stopping more than once to gawk at the elaborate design in the front rooms. The bland, purple-gray wallpaper stretching down this windowless hall felt like such a downgrade from the rooms she'd walked through to reach here, and she wondered why he wouldn't at least color it a much nicer shade of green. Or red.
Leah failed to stop herself from walking right into the door. Her nose bopped the front of it thanks to her idle-minded thoughts, and her bag almost swayed off of her shoulder from the abrupt halt. No harm was done as she caught the bag just in time, but she cursed herself silently anyway. Any of the villagers at her old home would vouch that she’d never possessed an ounce of grace in her speech, but even then, she’d certainly always been one to make the right movements when necessary. Now was not the time to let her nerves work against her!
If only it were that simple, she thought. Just how would she go about this? Here she was, a doorknob away, faced with qualms that were foreign to her in every conceivable way. She had groomed and brushed her fur to no end hours before (an act she rarely, if ever, partook in), yet she felt unkempt. She had run through scenarios and reactions in her head, yet her knees had locked in place and no meaningful words rested on her tongue. She had psyched herself up, yet her confidence was wavering. Assuming that her partner was likely just as nervous didn't help either; he was the one who sent the invitation, after all. He was the one, the only one, who could melt her typical demeanor and leave her a bubbling mixture of nerves and excitement.
Leah’s face hardened. Well… that wasn't gonna stop her! She just had to face it!
She gripped the doorknob with her free paw, and shoved forward. She was gonna leap right into this, charge right through this door, and—
He wasn't here. Where was he?
Leah whipped her head around the room, the excessive fur extending from her ears lagging from the motion. The bed was on the wall to her right, and a glass sliding door was built into the wall to her left. She walked over and peered out at the balcony, but it was barren of life. She had to peer closely at some of the furniture and at the carpet to make sure the bastard wasn't hiding from her and preparing a crafty ambush. She checked under the bed, parted the curtains, and even checked inside the treasure chest at the foot of the bedstead. None yielded results.
A small twinge of disappointment settled in her chest; she wouldn't have minded opening their date with a little game, even one as perennial as hide-and-seek. Even as they'd outgrown their old abstinences, little games and childish exchanges had always remained consistent between them.
Was that what this was? Because if it was, she could’ve at least used a sign. Maybe he was just late, then.
With a prolonged sigh, Leah nonchalantly walked over to the table by the corner. Resting her elbows on the surface, she cupped her paws around her mouth and funneled a meager flame onto the lone candle placed there. The wick ignited almost instantly from the pint-sized heat wave, beguiling the Fennekin to step back for a moment to admire her element. This romantic stuff… yeah, she could still do this!
She nudged the bag off of her shoulder and reached inside with an elicitive paw. She'd brought an array of items ranging from her own candles to a half-dozen assortment of bottled lotions (those she’d stolen from Mawile), and even a heart-shaped pillow that she couldn't pass up buying just for this occasion. Completing her little bag of goodies was a pair of apples. She suppressed a giggle; they would probably get hungry eventually.
Leah eyed the contents of her bag and shrugged. If he wasn't here yet, then she might as well take advantage and continue to set the mood.
Suddenly, she frowned and peered further into the bag. She picked a couple things out and looked underneath them before putting them back inside. Where was her pack of twigs? She knew she’d had them when she’d entered the building, so they were around here somewhere.
Glancing around the room to no avail, a huff of impatience escaped Leah’s lips. She needed those twigs. Chewing on them always calmed her down. Always satiated her tongue, always stifled her nerves.
She paced in a full circle until her eyes caught the half-open door she’d entered through. Remembering her blunder moments before, she scoffed. They’d probably fallen out of her bag when she’d walked into the door.
She trod over and entered the hallway, closing the door behind her but not seeing anything unusual on the carpet. Uttering more curses at the clumsiness bestowed her by this particular evening, Leah tossed her sack of goodies aside and began trudging all the way down the hall to scan the edges for her pack of twigs. It took her a minute and a half to reach the end, and another dejected thirty seconds to jog back to the door once she'd come up with nothing.
It was there that she finally saw them. They'd fallen out of her bag so that they were behind the door when she’d left the bedroom. Shaking her head and sighing, she scooped up the tiny bag and tossed it into the larger one she’d left resting in the middle of the hall. Again swinging it over her shoulder to rest on her back, she re-entered the room.
—————
Espurr’s lungs had frozen in her chest just as her gaze had frozen in place, locked onto the candle she had literally sat across the room just a minute before. She was absolutely certain that the wick hadn't been lit when she left, for she hadn't even brought anything to light it with. Now alive, it competed with the moonlight filtering through the balcony.
Again, Espurr scanned the entire room.
Again, she saw no evidence of life.
Her heart raced. Of course, she knew she was not in danger. But the prospect of being watched still brought about a temporary fit of paranoia. This was like a different kind of danger, one that gave her a strong sense of foreboding even though she was, in actuality, looking forward to its climax.
She looked up to the ceiling. It was no more or less plain than she’d determined it to be a moment ago; she couldn't see any secret panels or other such aberrations that might serve as hiding places.
She frowned. How long had she even been out in the hall for? It couldn't have been longer than a couple of minutes. So then where was he?
The temptation to spread out her psychic senses arose, but she stopped herself once two significant dots connected in her head.
If he wanted to be seen, he wouldn't be hiding.
If he was hiding and setting up candles while she was out of the room, then he was up to something.
Espurr pursed her lips into a smirk and nodded in no particular direction. Okay, fine, she thought. Two can play at this game.
The heavy vase levitated off of the carpet and into the air, drawn up and forward at the wave of Espurr’s paw. Being far more careful with the breakable commodity than she had been in the hallway, she commanded it to rest on one of the bedside tables.
She stood by the bed for a moment in a contemplative moment of staring at her work. She supposed that there had been her “turn” in this little game she was actively inventing with her favorite person. So now she should just exit the room, right? It wasn't like she'd done much, but she supposed that was the subtle nature of the game.
Espurr found the very concept of her actions amusing. Funny enough to alleviate some of the tension in her shoulders and legs. As she snaked her way towards the door, a smile spread across her face. This was going to be an interesting night.
—————
Leah walked back into the room half-expecting it to be occupied. To her dismay, this was not the case.
The fire-type saw no movement or signs of life, but she did see something out of the ordinary. Something that hadn't been there before.
She narrowed her eyes at the bedside table and took a single hesitant step forward. Born from perplexity, a crude remark escaped her as a whisper. “What the hell?”
In the time she’d been out in the hall, a flower vase had been placed there.
Appeared. Materialized. Surfaced out of thin air.
She dared not move too quickly. Instead, she scanned the room for unnatural movement.
The candle she’d lit a couple minutes ago now worked against her shimmering heartbeat, casting animated light patterns into the corners of the room where the moonlight did not reach. For a brief moment, a different form of anxiety encompassed her. Oh, how she hated ghosts! Hated the concept, hated everything about them. The very thought of them made her neck tense up and dropped a ball of iron into her chest. She had to stop herself from losing her cool and drawing the weapon stored in the fluff of her tail. She’d almost left her wand behind simply because she didn't want to remove it and then forget it here, but part of her was glad that it was with her now.
But with that thought, and with a final sweeping glance of the room to confirm there was nothing lurking in the shadows, Leah shook her head. There were no stupid ghosts here. Why would there be, and how? She knocked herself on the forehead with a closed paw. Get it together, you stupid Miltank!
Her eyes fell back to the bedside table, and a frown rested above her chin. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind that the table had sat barren only a minute ago. It was a rather ugly vase, she felt, with its thick ovular shape at the base and with its unusual flower patterns that appeared to have taken all of two minutes to paint on.
Notwithstanding, could not help but crack a smile at the flower sticking out of it. A single rose peeked out at her like an eruption of lava, boasting an adorable shade of red.
The realization tumbled onto the fox like a pile of bricks, jarring her in the midst of her thoughts to such volume that she audibly scoffed in amusement. Then, as to remain within the parameters of the game she had just come to terms with, she silenced herself just as quickly.
Leah’s eyes narrowed. He wanted to play hide-and-seek after all, huh? And tease her by planting little namesakes around the room when she wasn’t looking? Well, she would show him!
In that moment, the weight of her bag was particularly conspicuous on her back. Carefully removing it from around her shoulder and onto the carpet, Leah leaned on her haunches so that she could rummage through its contents with both paws. She needed something… nice. Something to really kick things off. Something that would one-up that silly little vase. She could already imagine he had some sort of romantic symbolism planned for that rose, like some stupidly-romantic line about how the petals couldn’t compare to the crimson fathoms of her own irises, something that she’d surely tease him for but would make her melt all the same. Conversely, she thought, maybe the rose was just his way of being as blunt as possible.
No sooner had the prior criteria crossed Leah’s mind than she’d already produced her first weapon of choice. The white bottle of lotion felt strange in her paw at first, and its fragrance failed to quell her curiosities upon releasing the cap’s seal. Perplexed, Leah briefly gave the logo a glance. A suggestive picture of a Flaafy was printed onto the plastic front of the bottle. The text above it read ‘Dashing and Glorious!’ in big letters, along with ‘body lotion for electric-type Pokemon’ italicized below the Flaafy’s feet near the bottom.
All of this earned a quirked eyebrow from the Fennekin; she was definitely not here to see an electric-type Pokemon, nor was she one herself. She glanced further into the sack to look for the other five bottles she’d abducted from the historian’s office, only to find that their purpose was no different. Damn it, she should’ve looked at the label before swiping them!
A bit disheartened but certainly not deflated, Leah just shrugged. She could only use what she had.
After a second or two of looking around for somewhere to place the lotion, she settled her gaze on the massive storage chest at the foot of the bed. Smiling to herself, she trod over with her bag in tow and produced two more of the bottles when she got there. Moving an old parchment out of the way, she placed her items standing up and in the form of a triangle where they could clearly be seen from anywhere in the room.
Leah stepped back with a smirk scribbled on her face, before a frown quickly replaced it. The logos with the Flaafy visuals were still partly visible, so she quickly rearranged the triangle of standing bottles to where the front of each bottle faced inwards. That looked much better, she decided.
Collecting her bag and popping a twig in her mouth to dangle freely, she made her way back to the hallway. There, she resolved to wait a couple of minutes before re-entering.
Her smirk returned. If he intended to respond, then she would allow him all the time he needed.
—————
For the third time that night, Espurr nudged open the door and poked her head through.
They were impossible to miss. On top of the storage chest stood a triangle of opaque plastic containers that she knew, for a fact, had not been there a few minutes before. If any doubts persisted in the corners of her mind pertaining to this game, they were now thoroughly quashed.
There was no hesitation with her entrance this time. She now moved with a purpose.
She squeezed through the door and made her way over to the room’s new additions. As she approached, her telepathic will brought forth one of the containers to meet her halfway, falling into her paws so she could investigate.
Some of Espurr’s anxiety was momentarily subdued by a giggle. Lotion for electric-types? What in the world? She would definitely have to ask him about that one.
She placed the bottle back and got to work. With the bag of chesto berries grasped firmly in her paw, Espurr tiptoed over to bedside table as she unzipped the seal. Moving with haste, she planted a single berry on its surface, stifling another giggle born from her mischief.
The feline foresaw that the message she’d sent would be clear enough. It was no secret how much caffeine was packed into Chesto berries. Enough of them could keep a Snorlax from falling asleep for a week. Perfect for a night like this.
She hurried back to the door she'd entered through, which she closed as quietly as she could behind her. Now outside once again, the waiting game was set to resume.
—————
Leah’s mouth watered. She’d have never guessed this would be what made her salivate on this particular night, but she wasn't about to complain.
A sigh of contentment left her. Oh, he knew her so well. Of course he’d gotten her some of her favorite snack!
The chesto berry plummeted down her throat to disappear forever, but she knew that would not be the last. There would be plenty more to follow. Was this possibly her reward for playing along? The thought made her giggle; by all means, that was fine by her.
Her turn. Her next item of choice was the plain, heart-shaped feather pillow. It was small enough for Leah to grip with her teeth but large enough to drag on the floor as she attempted to move it, which she immediately did.
At first she was weary of placing it on the bed out of fear that it wouldn’t be seen. However, she quickly shrugged off the notion after a bit of experimentation with the curtains. They could be pulled all the way back where they would remain open and leave the bed exposed.
Satisfied her addition to the room would be seen now, Leah threw her neck back to gather momentum, and then thrust forward to toss the pillow onto the bed. It landed upside-down among the green rectangular pillows, where the red stuck out like a pimple on the green bedspread.
She momentarily considered hopping onto the bed and adjusting it, but did not pursue the urge far. He’d put up with her disorganized butt for long enough that tossing insignificant things around for him to insist on straightening up was commonplace. She could already see what his reaction would be, hear his chide…
She shook out of the endeared trance. She had to go now. Her turn was complete.
—————
Espurr had barely gotten two steps into the room before her eyebrows shot up. There was no way she could've missed the hulking red pillow tossed nonchalantly onto the bedcover.
He’d clearly tossed it on there in some kind of haste, not to say that was surprising. The adjustment only took a second with the help of her telekinesis.
What captured her attention most was the choice of object. Where in the world he got such a ridiculously-adorable pillow, she couldn’t guess. But it was evident enough that it was here especially for tonight.
Goodness me. He really must've come prepared.
Now it was her turn again.
Espurr’s eyes panned over to where she’d placed the chesto berry minutes before. Unsurprisingly, it was gone. She could not help but smile; her message had been received.
Next she found herself regarding the bed with a newfound curiosity, taking in its finer details. It was a really, really nice bed. It was so large—compared to her, at least—that Espurr had to leap up onto it in order to further adjust the pillow to her contentment, something that she felt the need to do by hand for nothing more than the sake of touching it.
“Mmm…” Experimentally, she indulged her face in its tantalizing softness. She could definitely snuggle up and fall asleep against this.
Espurr hopped back down and began to scan the room for inspiration. She figured she had a limited amount of time to use her turn, and since she really hadn't walked in with a concrete plan, she would need to use those seconds wisely.
To her dismay, there was nothing in immediate view that made sense to use. All she had left to place were more chesto berries, and moving around pre-existing objects like plants and tables would simply be underachieving. She needed to find something else.
Eventually her eyes settled on the cupboard standing against the wall she’d entered the room from. The upper half was decked with books of all colors and sizes, but the lower section was closed off by wooden cabinet doors transfixed with glass panes through which Espurr was revealed an accumulation of breakables. She made her way over and opened one of the doors to get a better view.
Plates, bowls, silverware. She didn't need any of that. What really caught her sight was the vast assortment of candles of all shapes and sizes crammed into the corner. She pulled two of them out with her paws to inspect them further, then the rest with telekinesis. A tiny small crossed her face. These would do the trick.
On hurried feet, she picked out various spots around the room to set down the candles, beginning with the bedside tables and moving onto the other items of decor in the room. The larger candles with pedestals she placed on tables and low and spaced-out shelves, whereas the smaller candles she nestled wherever they could wouldn’t risk burning something down when lit. She even placed a couple of them on the floor in her haste to use them all.
She'd placed somewhere in the neighborhood of two-dozen candles. She almost doubted they could all be lit in time, but shook off the thought. He’d lit the first one, likely with a lighter or some similar tool, and hopefully possessed the footspeed to handle this too. Of course, she could always just wait a little longer and give him that time.
With that thought, it occurred to Espurr just how badly she’d overstayed her turn’s welcome. So, with the same haste as before, she hurried out of the room to wait once again.
—————
Upon entering the bedroom for the fourth time, Leah wasn't sure where to start.
Candles. Everywhere. Too many to count from a single glance.
Something told her she ought to feel flattered, and it did not take her but a moment to give into that notion entirely. The mutual reliance and appreciation for each other that she shared with him was no secret to anyone who knew them; perhaps this was his way of showing that. She guessed this meant she was supposed to be, like, the fire in his life or something cheesy like that. The symbolism behind setting them out for her to light was obvious, but it was the execution that left a stupid-looking grin on her face. What a nerd, making her feel this way with these elaborate schemes!
The sheer change in landscape caught her so off guard that she spent several passing seconds just taking it in. She wanted to laugh or giggle or make some kind of contented sound, but she forced herself into a suppressed chuckle in order to remain within the game’s unofficial but covert guidelines. Even if the aspect of stealth was mostly fabricated, it turned her on enough to play along to the fullest extent possible. That meant she had no time to waste.
The Fennekin breathed in chilly air through her nose and flicked her tongue to spark a meager, controlled flame. She began to light the candles—holy Miltank, there had to be at least thirty!—as she went, walking in a circle around the room while occasionally spitting coin-sized fireballs at those out of reach. She knew she had to be careful when doing so (causing a house fire was probably not part of the game) and yet a certain urgency in her step from the night’s rising action led her to nearly do just that more than once.
Even with jittery legs and a fluttering heart, it would be her aim that won out in the end. With each candle in sight lit up without anything damaged, Leah took a step towards the wall and evaluated her work. The room had transformed into something entirely different from the moonlit space it was moments ago. The green hue had been far eclipsed by the orange candlelight that permeated even the darkest corners of the room.
For a moment, she was indecisive. Even if the bed had curtains, they were thin and could not block out any significant amount of light from the outside. Notwithstanding her fire-typing, she’d always been a bigger fan of the dark… specifically outdoors. While this was not an outdoor affair for reasons that were obvious, she at least assumed it would be more fitting to get down to business without the distraction of sight. The bed curtains were otherwise useless to begin with. And that wasn’t even getting into the whole fire hazard issue—meh. Whatever, it didn’t matter now. The candles could always be blown out later. In the meantime, though, they had done their job of making her feel valued.
As she passed back into the hallway to wait, her grin had not faded even a little.
—————
Espurr had to shield her eyes for a moment to adjust to the onslaught of light. Gone was the tranquil atmosphere of dark, moonlit green; in its place was the same simulation of nature, but visualized at noon rather than midnight. The feline’s scheme had produced results far brighter than she expected, adding to her surprise for how the candles could’ve all been lit so quickly. None of them had been spared.
“Impressive,” she whispered under her breath.
It took ten seconds or so of admiring the reborn room for Espurr to realize she was on the clock. She cursed her passiveness under her breath, glancing around for anything new she could use. Anything she could do, she needed to do now.
As she looked around, inspiration flickered here and there before fizzling out just as quickly. Everything she thought of was either irrational or impractical. She might try and set out those dishes from earlier, but that would take too long and wouldn’t accomplish anything. There was a bookshelf by the far wall with hundreds of books lined up, but they did not mix well with the candles. She could… open the balcony door, but that would only let in an undesirable draft that would ruin the mood. Maybe—maybe she could…
With a final glance around, she slumped her shoulders. There was nothing. While the room was large and more complex than she’d initially expected upon her arrival, it didn’t exactly lend itself to a game of this nature. Even finding the candles had really just been luck.
It had to have been at least a minute since her turn began, yet only her eyes had done work so far while her feet had remained glued to the carpet. This was not a game of ‘see’, this was a game of ‘do’! Espurr showed no physical signs of panic at her lack of ideas, but her thoughts were permeated by a voice that wouldn’t stop repeating, ‘Hurry, hurry, hurry!’
So, Espurr abandoned her rational planning and did the very next thing that came to mind. She hustled over to one of the thin, high-standing tables by the walls and, with as much gentleness as she could muster under the influence of adrenaline, used her powers to flip it upside-down where it lay on its surface. Each of its four legs now stuck into the air like flagpoles while the green tablecloth had fallen off and laid uselessly on the carpet.
This will have to suffice for now, Espurr concluded. She looked over her ‘work’ for a moment and ran her paw through the fur on her head. At the very least, it stands as proof I was here.
As she jogged back towards her hallway, disappointment briefly manifested as a stone in her chest. Exactly what had that been, just now? Surely she could do better than that, and yet what else could she have done?
The door closed behind her, and her vision was filled with the bleeding red of the hallway once more.
Oh well… she thought. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.
—————
It took Leah a few seconds to notice what had changed, though no amount of time or speculation would reveal to her why.
She tip-toed around a couple of candles and stopped in front of the tall, overturned table. It wasn’t damaged or anything, just… not upright. It took the Fennekin nearly a full minute of sniffing around to convince her that there was no hidden message for her to find.
Pfft. Now he’s just being silly.
She pursed her lips before finally caving into a dry fit of giggling. Maybe he was being blunt like he was with the rose and was trying to tell her he would… flip her over or something? The very thought made her giggle hard enough to chastise herself afterward that she might’ve been too loud. As rare as it was for her to worry about taking her chances with things, being heard was not something she wanted.
Leah tore her eyes away from the table to search elsewhere. What could she do, or use…? There didn’t seem to be anything obvious that could set the mood further, and she’d already exhausted her sack of goodies. However, there was one thing that caught her eye that she somehow hadn’t seen before: a collection of beanbags stuffed securely into the corner of the room. With a final glance around to make sure there wasn’t anything better to use, she hopped over to inspect further.
With her teeth, she pulled them out from on top of one another. There were three—one green, one red, one purple—all of them about as large as she was. They were softer than anticipated, so she bit down delicately to avoid tearing through and spilling their beady contents out onto the floor.
Leah took a step back to observe what she’d dragged out. Even if there wasn’t much special about them, these were the best she could find. The question was now what to do with them.
It did not take long for the answer to come to her.
In an instant, Leah bounced back over to the upside-down table. She wrapped her front paws around its overturned legs and spent a few seconds trying to find the right position to grip and pull it away from the wall. Immediately, her disadvantage made itself far more apparent than she’d have liked. This would be so much easier if she was bipedal! She knew she’d already used up a minute of time, maybe longer—she would need to hurry.
Fortunately, the table was just light enough for her muscular hind legs to win out, and she was able to pull it far enough out for her to get on the other side and begin the much easier task of pushing.
Once she’d pushed it to the center of the bedroom, she dashed over to the beanbags and, with a little less care than before, scooped up the red one and made her way back over to the table and placed it where she saw fit.
By the time she’d placed all three, she was out of breath. This struggle increased with each fit of laughter she tried so hard to prevent from sounding off into the hallways as she admired her handiwork.
The purple and red cushions were, respectively, leaned up against either side of the upside-down table. The legs of the table stuck about a meter higher into the air than her head did, and had been wide enough for Leah to reach up and plant the green beanbag on top.
There, in the middle of the room, stood her mischievous masterpiece. A work of art with all the appropriate implications.
When the Fennekin exited the room right afterward, there was a foreboding sense of urgency in her step. She was sure of it now; it would not be long before the game reached a climax.
—————
It was time.
Clearly, it was time. As vague and ambiguous as the gambit had been, Espurr knew exactly what this meant. The makeshift statue towering over her couldn’t have been more to the point.
She could feel each individual candle in the room now, all ignited and spread out where she’d left them. One thing was certain: they were not needed any longer. As odd as this was given that they had only been in use for mere minutes, Espurr knew the brightness would be a bane for what was to come. Levitating them all towards her to be blown out was just the next step to be taken towards reaching that point, just as the act of lighting them had been.
When the last of the artificial light was quelled and moonlight resumed its dominance over the room, Espurr was short of breath. But blowing out the candles hardly had anything to do with that. Something far heavier than bated breath stirred inside her. Her psyche began to collapse with the wild thoughts of what was yet to come, and with them came thoughts she was less familiar with—doubt and trepidation.
She was nervous.
Now that the room had reverted to its darkened state, it was almost like nothing had happened. Only the provocative beanbag statue stood as obvious proof of the night’s exchange, blocking already-sparse amounts of light from reaching the bed. Any rays of moonlight that managed to reach that would not penetrate through the curtains to the sheets they harbored, where sight would be lost entirely to sensation. It was only a matter of time.
Somehow, some way, Espurr willed herself towards the bed. Darkness swallowed her whole the moment she fully entered. Some primal instinct within her clawed upon her telepathic awareness, and her heart beat even faster when she adamantly struck that instinct down. She didn’t need to see. As much as she hated total darkness, she wanted everything to be natural. She would not spoil herself that.
Only a matter of time…
—————
Leah stood frozen at the doorway.
There was not even enough light to cast a shadow. The poignant light of the bedroom mixed with the slightly-less-poignant light of the hallway, beckoning the Fennekin into the room she could only barely make out. But her legs wouldn’t answer the call. Every joint in her body tightened up, and her breath became shallower and shallower. After all her shenanigans, she had frozen up like a stone now that the moment of truth had arrived.
She was nervous.
It had to have been her fault to not expect this. The game didn’t feel like it had been dragging on, at least not to her , but she realized it likely just her own elation that had willed such mischief on for however many turns it had been. As much as it had helped stay her prior inhibitions, and as much as she knew it would likely not be of anyone’s concern once first contact was made, Leah could not keep her nerves at bay that it was over sooner than an eternity had passed. Her heart fluttered at the very realization that, as chances would have it, she was no longer alone in the room.
With bated breath, she dared herself to take a step forward. The carpet underneath had undergone no change, yet seemed to tug at her paws like grass knots with each silent stride. The journey to the bedside was only seven, maybe eight paces, but to her it felt like twenty.
This would be her final turn before the real game began.
Her steps were uncharacteristically delicate the closer she got to the bedside; by the time she was a step away, she could not hear herself exist. Finally, this was it. At that very thought, a strange onset of peace eased some—not all, but some—of the tension in her shoulders. All of this stress, it wasn’t who she was. She was overthinking this, overcomplicating what was supposed to be the best night of her life. The bed, why she’d come, who she desired most to hold close—it was all only a nose-length away. Just climb in.
She climbed in.
—————
Espurr did not need extrasensory abilities to know she wasn’t alone.
The weight of the bed shifting ever-so-slightly under her was all the indication she needed. The lack of a visual forced her mind’s eye to create one itself as the figure next to her got comfortable—she envisioned his prone figure next to hers, finding the best angle to snuggle underneath the covers. Waiting to be joined.
Once more, her thoughts ran wild, well beyond her control. She briefly worried that they might’ve accidentally been projected out, but would ultimately not end up dwelling on it for long. As if her beating heart hadn’t already given away her position anyway. As if she were even hiding in the first place.
With boldness she did not know she possessed, Espurr rolled further onto her side and inched herself ever-so-slightly in the direction of her one and only. Like two bullets on a collision course, they met together at a single point with explosive ramifications.
The smallest of breaths could be heard from across her when their noses first made accidental contact, leading Espurr to realize she had been holding her own for longer than she realized. She dared not say a word, for it was obvious that either of them would’ve done so by now if such a thing were necessary.
The ensuing embrace was unlike anything she’d ever felt. Even so, she knew well that this was only a pebble in comparison to the mountains of pleasure that were hopefully to come. The air of their enclosed chamber shifted dramatically, and suddenly it felt like they had traveled to their own little pocket in space light years away from their daily lives. Left behind with the hug was every fear and doubt she’d had in herself, leading her to a world of warmth that she had no anticipated nor resisted against.
He was soft—a lot softer than she remembered him to be in the past. So soft that pressing herself closer was an act that required no thought but also warranted plenty along the lines of why. Why was he so soft? Despite this, her curiosities were quickly drowned in a sea of euphoria, for each atom of hers that touched each atom of his intoxicated her too much to care. She was probably just imagining things, and decided to shove those thoughts aside so she could focus more on cuddling.
Their breathing mixed, and Espurr realized how close their faces had to be for such a thing to be possible. Their noses did not touch a second time, for each bent their necks sideways to close the gap that would eventually lead—
“What on earth is going on?”
Espurr nearly choked on her own bated breath. She wasn’t sure which had jarred her more: the sudden voice, or the painfully-bright light that pierced through the opening in the bed curtains. Sage was peeking through with a blank stare on his face, eyes fixated on her. Her and…
Still without moving her head, Espurr hesitantly returned her gaze to the person she was locked in an embrace with. Their faces were mere millimeters apart, but the pallet of yellow that encompassed her field of view was all that was needed to turn her blood to ice.
“AAAAH!”
Espurr wasn’t sure who pushed away first, but it hardly mattered when a violent puff of smoke slammed into her and invaded her eyes and nostrils. For a moment she became tangled in the covers from her impulsive haste to get away. She quickly ran out of bed underneath her, and to the floor she went, taking some of the sheets with her.
Immediately, Espurr clawed at the fabric entangling her torso. All the while, her wild thoughts had transitioned into wild thoughts of a less-desirable kind, generating countless questions without any clear answers.
Why was she in bed with Leah just now? Where had Sage been before now? What about their game? …Why was she in bed with Leah just now?!
“Oh shit,” a voice—definitely Sage’s—called from the front of the bedstead. “I-I thought I only invited—I mean, uh…d-did I interrupt something?”
After untangling herself from the last of the stray covers, not a moment had passed before Espurr was on her feet. Sage stood by the storage box at the foot of the bed, nervously glancing between her and Leah as they both got to their feet. She could see everything in the room clearly, illuminated by the ceiling light that had initially broken her out of her stupor.
“What the—where…?!” For a moment Leah mirrored the psychic-type’s own shock and awe. Then, a flash of anger quickly captured the Fennekin’s expression as reality began to sink in. Her eyes flew between Espurr and Sage, finally resting on Espurr. “What’re you even doing here?!”
A befuddled Espurr took a step back. “I—I…was invited here. Invited for…”
The psychic-type faltered. Her attention briefly flew back to the bed, but then rested firmly on Leah. With the silence came reality, plowing into them both with unprecedented magnitude. Both girls redirected their attention to Sage, glaring daggers into the Snivy. From the ferocity of their looks alone, he took an apprehensive step back.
“What’s going on here?!”
Sage’s mouth hung part-way open, a question suspended on his tongue. When he finally did manage to articulate himself, he sounded far more reserved than usual. “I can—uhh… err, what are you talking about?”
“You invited me here for a special night!” Leah hissed.
If it were somehow possible, those words made Espurr’s heart sink even further to the floor.
“I… did do that, yes. Haha…ha…” The Snivy faked joviality, though it was clear his skills of deception were lacking in every category. “I… actually invited you both for… for our first official book club! ”
Nothing made a sound. Not even the wind. Both girls could do nothing but stare at the jittery Snivy. A follow-up question waited to be asked, yet it was though his words had not quite registered yet.
Sage visibly squirmed in place as the quietude dragged on. He finally broke the trance himself by taking careful side-steps toward the bookshelf on the far wall, avoiding a couple unlit candles along the way.
Espurr finally found it in herself to speak, repeating his words slowly as though she’d heard him incorrectly. “Book…club…?”
“Um… book club, yeah.” Sage began to comb through the books on the shelf, skimming horizontally at first and then vertically when he couldn’t find what he needed. “Uh… I sent you both an invitation for this like a week ago. I totally even outlined all of the adventures we would go on and the…” he cleared his throat. “…fun we’d have together. All three of us, and stuff.”
From within her bag of twigs, Leah produced the suggestive invitation she’d received. She read it over twice, and then a third time for good measure. Nowhere was a book club ever mentioned. Nowhere was it implied that there would be three participants.
Finallying having found a book that fit his tastes, the Snivy made his way back over to the girls, neither of whom had moved an inch. He attempted to hide his state of unease by casting a curious glance at the architecture behind him. “…In the meantime, um… what exactly happened to my table?”
Espurr and Leah shared a prolonged glance.
“—And why are all these candles scattered around? They’re a fire hazard.” Sage rubbed the back of his head. “We don’t wanna catch our… books on fire, y’know?”
Sage’s inquiry hung suspended in the air, unanswered by either of the girls. From the foul looks they were giving him, it became clear he would not receive the answer he wanted.
“Uh… girls? Eheh… We can talk about this, right?” Sage chuckled nervously, resting a vine on the upside-down table.
As a last ditch effort, he put on the realest fake smile he could muster and squeaked, “…I-I’ve got hemipenes… sharing is caring, right?”
Unfortunately for Sage, Espurr reflected, this was not meant to be a night of conversation. This was a night of action.
Espurr turned her head. “…Hey… Leah?”
Leah met her gaze. “…Yes, Espurr?”
“How bad do you think it would hurt someone if they got accidentally tossed off the balcony?”
Leah blinked. A mutual agreement was born.
“…Only one way to find out.”