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Well it's my last CD review I guess really following in Mark's footsteps here huh Natalie You know at first I was hesitant, but Natalie has done such a good job rationalizing this decision that I am now convinced that it is a good idea and will turn out completely fine I almost feel bad...

My mental state lately has not been conducive to writing in-depth reviews (or really anything), but I read chapters 14 and 15 and thought they were pretty fun. Archie was all like "we're gonna bring the ocean back to life with this new wacky energy source", and then I was like "you know that...

Thoughts on chapter 13 Maybe I took the "everything went sideways" too literally in the last chapter, but I was expecting Mark to have already fallen down at this point. Also, something about "his legs went out from under him" isn't sitting right with me. Part of it might be that my mind tends...

Reviewed chapter 12 I had to read the battle a couple times to really get a sense of what was happening, but I think that's just on me. I felt like everything was described clearly enough. Just a lot of names getting thrown around. I don't have much criticism for this chapter, but it shed a...

A review of chapter 11 I wonder if there's a more "professional" way of saying that This is about the most realistic corporate response I could imagine. Just say the opposite of what's just been demonstrated. Surprisingly effective. I wonder if "survive" should be "suffer" or something...

Chapter 10 review I don't know if this is just me, but since the footprints were described as "dark" it kind of threw me off when they were compared to the surface of the moon, since the surface of the moon is bright. I felt like that was just, like, an unintended clash of ideas. Otherwise...

For chapter 9 I'm kind of confused as to why Ore doesn't just knock Natalie out---after all, it can give her headaches remotely, so I would think it could do that? Of course, that concern pertains to more than just this specific battle, but it wasn't until now that it really stood out to me...

Chapter 5 time "He kept catching his hand dip down" sounds kind of weird to me. I would just say "He caught his hand dipping down..." Should it not be "encrypted connection?" I like this little moment of characterization. The text message conversation also characterized him a little. I...

Chapter 4 has been read, by me I would rewrite to get rid of the "seemed to be". This is case where there isn't an in-between. To me it was kind of unclear why the pavement cracked. Did it get slammed down? Either I missed something, or the armaldo's appearence here is very sudden. We...

I just finished chapter 3. One thing that stood out to me---partly because I've been working a lot on dealing with it in my own writing---is the use of filter verbs. As zion of arcadia says here: Though there may be exceptions, an action-packed scene like this is probably a good place to...