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9. the return oh how good it feels to return to my disaster son after so long. i thought opening with a call to erika was interesting. erika is the golden child in a sense, the avatar of conventional success. their conversation really underscores how far haru has gotten from that path. he...

7. initiation to me, the theme of this chapter seems that nothing is clear cut or neutral. a few chapters ago, i wondered how haru would balance his career with his beliefs and convictions, and i think this chapter produced the answer: he can't. at least, not in a way that's easy or...

5: the safehouse i really like the way haru's decisions are contrasting with his family's expectations of him. i wonder how long he'll be able to hide that from them. religion and science are frequently cast as being at odds—i don't necessarily think that's true, and it doesn't seem to be the...

3. the flight i think think the throughline of this fic (or what you've written of it so far, at least) is small bad choices compounding on small bad choices, and this is the chapter where i began to become aware of that. just one small choice here—"sure, the ninjask can stay outside its ball...

hey pen! i felt compelled to check out more of your work after catching up with dragon's dance, and boy i am not disappointed with this. so far this fic has all the charms of your writing style, but the content itself is way more up my alley. i really love the ecological tilt of this story...