Search results

General thoughts: Fuck. That's it. No further comment at this time. ... JK. But I did read this and immediately just ... lie down and take a nap, lol. 🏳️ This definitely is a long one, but it flows smoothly from end to end and demands to be read through. It's certainly relevant to the...

Bold of you to give yourself a post-by date. I like how even your shitposts are thoughtful. And scathingly self-aware. Wow. Really intruiged by Hilda's descent into madness, here. Can't wait until she wakes up to find it was all a dream, but the top whirlipede is still spinning and spinning...

Oh man, I made the mistake of reading Pen's reaction first and now I'm like hahahaha words go brrr brr brrr. Ugh, my heart. On a fucking Tuesday morning. It's really lovely to have a peek under Tormaline's armor. She is in many ways exactly who she's been since we first met her--she's got...

New chapter! I remember you talking about this one (Charlie!) so it was fun to see it come to life. Oh, I love this. He thinks he’s unpracticed. “That’s a new one!” 🙃 Lots of quite! I’m not sure about “makes you struggle.” Maybe even "You struggle with its weight.” But I love this expansion...

Responding to previous chapters first, then the new one! General thoughts on the Inari revision: overall, better! I like that we get a little more on Hilda, Rhea, and Tourmaline. It makes sense that Inari’s brother isn’t dead, just invisible and gone. The yogurt scene was cute. ❤️ Though I...

These chapters are always such a challenge for me because I think you and I are inclined to similar leaps of logic, which is fun because it so often puts us on the same team ... but also it means I have to really squint to see what might be getting skipped over. I think I have a few useful...

Overall: good, yes. I'm just going to dump all my line-by-lines out, and we'll see what insights emerge. I think you can call him Kobo here, since "dear sister" already implies "your brother." Kobo broke your pack’s rules, and it came at a terrible price. Oof. I wanted a colon instead of a...

Nobody puts Baby in a corner bucket--except for N, and it's great. Many layers of miscommunication happening here, not just between trainer and pokemon but between N and Hilda and between Zara and Reylin. Played backward, N really does become more and more uncertain, poor baby. I love the idea...

So much sweetness in this chapter! You're not wrong--the fluff is extremely bittersweet because we know what's going to happen to N's friend's Zahhak and Carnel--but it's still sweet. N's patience (and anxiety!) really stand out because no other character has taken the time for such kindness...

The short and sweet of this one is easy to boil down for me: 1) stolen cats feels, help 2) the conversation between R and Ch is good and so is the legalese world-building, and 3) doggo doesn’t feel integrated into the scene! He’s got good eyes if he can see that through her bandana. I didn’t...

I think Pen already caught most of the lines that jarred me. So this time most of what I got is, uh, yeah, what she said. Here's the rest of what I've got: Aww, N. I thought this image was really effective. Oof. Interesting to end on the image wanting warmth. This seems to be emphasizing the...

fjsdfkjsdkfj my heart. Okay, you got me. Line reactions first, then hopefully some smart words at the end. I like this in-perspective saying. Nice--immediately clear which pokemon this is. Oh! Is this--! Suggestion: You're the problem one again. (It's already clear they're a set of 3.) I...

I think all the pieces you need are in here, but I found myself wanting some information sooner than I got it, and some of the dialogue felt like it needed to be spaced out differently. This does feel like a nice follow-up to Carnel, though. Amara hides weakness too, but not quite for the same...

Man, I forgot how Cheren’s team overlaps with Mark’s. Ouch. Something I found interesting in this chapter is how miscommunications continue in s new way: not only do the humans fail to understand the pokémon, but the pokémon can’t understand each other. No wonder they don’t have the tools to...

Again, we get this terrible, delicious feeling of knowing the train crash is about to happen and being unable to look away. We already know things won’t end well for Amara or Ghetsis, but you want to root for them anyway somehow. And Wave picking up on the radio waves was such a cool way to...

Perhaps feels off if there’s scorch mark evidence. Maybe instead: a stray air slash—or, no—a flamethrower, based on the scorch marks. Ouch oh no. I think my heart is tender to everything right now, but this hit me hard. Maybe harder than it would’ve if you’d used a simple word like...