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Chapter 3 Comma doesn't fit here as there are only two items and the "both x and y" structure doesn't use a comma in general. *passing? "Lying" rather than "laying", and a comma is needed after "dam". *Regigigas - this typo appeared a couple times in this chapter. Needs to end in a...

You are not prepared. Here is Chapter 10, rated teen like before. --- CHAPTER TEN Bottom Text --- Today I learned that girls really don't like it when a guy they barely know chases after them. I'm calling double standards on this bullshit - no way they would've screamed had I been a girl as...

Thank you for the review, very long and juicy 👀 Good point - I did indeed use the pronouns with the idea that Barricade views his old self as a different person, but I guess I forgot the implications towards the end of the segment. I should make it clearer that Barry indeed goes through the...

two in one day hell yea The Origin of Storms - Chapter 1 Base: +3 ~600 words: +3 Total: 58 + 6 = 64

Hi there! I decided to check this out, and I've now read the first chapter. Here are some thoughts. So, Wobbuffet. Now that's a mon you don't often see used in fanfiction. And when you do, it's usually a comic relief side character. Here, though, it's almost eldritch - a memory of some sort of...

hyaagh gotta defend my spot The Curious and The Shiny - Chapter 13 Base: +3 Weekly: +4 100+ Words: +2 Total: 49 + 9 = 58

Chapter 13 huh that went better than expected Missing period. Mm, wouldn't it be "me and your brother have your back" since having someone's back is supporting them? *swum, though it's Curio speaking so idk Well... not sure if that checks out completely, but I guess I'll take a badass...

Decided to polish up this story from a year or so ago! It was originally written for the Genre Gambles writing game created by @kintsugi over at Bulbagarden Forums, where a player would receive a randomized prompt to write a story from. The prompt for this story was Alternate (category), Tragedy...

Glad to see so many responses! And they really prove my theory - names can have many kinds of origins. I think it's reasonable for me to post about my stories now. Let's start with Seiren, as that's my main story over here and it's also the one I consider the first "serious" fic I've written...

Reviewed Chapter 5 of Heroes After All. Base: +3 Weekly: +4 ~1000 Words: +3 Total: 39 + 10 = 49

Hey there! I figured I may as well check out another chapter in the spirit of the review game. Chapter 5 aww hell yea stared* There's potential for getting much more out of this scenario here that I feel like is missed - the corpse is identified right away, when a more gripping approach...

Reviewed the prologue to Soul Dissonance. Base: +3 Weekly: nope ~350 Words: +2 Total: 34 + 5 = 39

Review pile? Allow me to join. *angry sunflora noises* *could not, as it's past tense oh gosh oh frick it's black sabbath oh no It is odd that it would not know this basic rule of life but would know what a plant is and that they're alive despite having no souls, when it seems that the...

Reviewed Chapter 2 of Places We Call Home! Base: +3 Weekly: +4 (I've reviewed the first chapter of PCWH elsewhere) ~300 Words: +2 Total: 25 + 9 = 34

Hey there! I sure took my time getting to the second chapter, didn't I. Well, let's go. Hearing/senses are mentioned being strained in three successive paragraphs, which makes it stick out as repetitive. Extra word here? The mon is named spinarak, but I'm unsure if this is actually...

I will... try. Now my turn (and there no minors so you can go crazy owo):

Reviewed Chapter 12 of The Curious and The Shiny. Base: +3 100+ Words: +2 Total: 20 + 5 = 25

Chapter 12 This reads oddly, shouldn't it be "don't"? Not sure what "its" refers to here, but "their" I would get. trumks hehe good pun incredible realism: my dad says this verbatim every time i vent about my drawing ability this is basically the concept of pokemon ranger if you...

A brief question on how to name a story on another forum made me curious about this. Story names have a lot of variety between them - some are long, some are short, some are literal, some are cryptic. But where did your stories get theirs? How did you choose them? Did they use to be called...

Reviewed the first chapter of Run Boy Run. Base: +3 Weekly: +4 ~900 Words: +3 Total: 10 + 10 = 20