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Non-Pokémon What's a Name to a Science Experiment? [Oneshot]

windskull

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This is a short oneshot I wrote back in April that I decided to cross-post over here. It's based loosely on the postgame of Namco High, and while knowledge of it and/or Katamari and Bravoman are recommended, the premise is simple enough that someone with no knowledge should be able to understand the story. It was sort of just meant to be a little exploration of one of my headcanons and deals with a character coming out. I can't promise that it's perfect, but I'd love to hear thoughts and feedback on it.


45

What's a Name to a Science Experiment?

Rating: General
Summary: Anti-Bravoman and Cousin have a conversation about something that's been weighing on Anti-Bravoman's mind lately: gender.

***​

He's seated at a corner booth, nervously drumming fingers against the table, his milkshake untouched. Cousin sits across from him, tiny fingers tapping away at a phone. This was supposed to be a date, but Anti-Bravoman found himself having a hard time talking today. Admittedly, there was a lot on his mind. Things that he didn’t have a good way to answer for himself.

Maybe that was part of why Anti chose to come to Cousin about this. about something that he hadn't talked to anyone else yet. Not Bravoman - not that he'd talk to his rival on friendly terms, because they were obviously not really friends - not Camo, and certainly not his dad. No, none of them would understand, he thinks. But Cousin? Well, if anyone could relate to what he was going through, it was Cousin.

He fidgets uncomfortably, thinking about how to approach the subject. His mouth opens and closes, the movement hidden behind his ragged maroon scarf. Fingers clench and unclench in a fist. A knot twists in his stomach. What if Cousin doesn't understand though? What if they laugh in his face and tell him how much an idiot he is? Oh gosh, oh, they probably think he's an idiot anyways. This is stupid. He's stupid. He needs to leave he never should have even considered bringing up -

Small fingers lightly brush up against the back of his hand. He lets out a totally uncool squeak, suddenly realizing how quickly and shallowly he was breathing. His eyes dart down to his hand, where a smaller, pink-covered hand was now resting against his knuckles. He follows the arm up to look at Cousin’s face, a distinct look of concern in their gaze.

“Anti,” they begin quietly. “Is everything okay? Do you need to go?”

The anti-hero shakes his head quickly. No, he can’t embarrass himself in front of Cousin like that! He’s calm and cool and collected. Not anxious and cowardly and socially awkward, right?

“No, no, I’m fine,” he stutters. But his voice comes out in a nervous squeak. Calm and cool and collected. He carefully pulls his hand away, so as to not offend his not-quite-significant-other, and finally pulls his scarf down as if to sip on his milkshake, but instead, he finds himself fiddling with the straw, sort of swirling it around in the thick drink. With his other hand, he props his cheek up.

Cousin frowns. “You don’t seem fine,” they point out. “Do you want to talk about it? Is someone from your old school heckling you again?”

“No, it’s nothing like that…” He trails off, eyes shifting to the side. How embarrassing that would be though, having to get Cousin to pick his battles for him.

He needs to be open. He promised to be more true to himself, to who he wants to be.

He chooses his words carefully, finally breaking the silence. “I guess… I’ve… told you a little bit about my origins, right?”

Cousin blinks once. “About how you were created in a lab, and about being the byproduct of a science experiment that was interrupted by weird space energy or something like that?”

Cosmos, how stupid that sounds. What a fluke. “Yeah, that…”

“Is it something to do with that?”

“Sort of,” he admits, shifting to sit up slightly. The hand that he had propped himself up with drops to the table, tracing small circles over the faux wood grain. Fake, like him. Poetic, maybe. But his fakeness wasn’t the conversation topic. Or… maybe it kind of was.

“It's just… do you ever stop and think that maybe you base yourself too much on someone and you compare yourself to them. And then you start to realize that maybe some of those things you thought about yourself aren't quite right?”

Cousin sits up a little bit straighter. Their expression is… kind of unreadable actually. “I think I sort of get where you're coming from,” Cousin admits. “In my family, there's a lot of expectations for us to be good at Katamari Rolling. It's sort of what we do. And I’m… not that great at it, admittedly. Sometimes I find myself comparing my skills to Prince. And I know it's not healthy but… it's hard to let those feelings go, you know?”

He nods slowly. He can understand that feeling too; his dad sent him to supervillain school, after all. “Yeah… I get what you mean… but that’s… not really what I wanted to talk about, actually.”

“Oh?” The alien tilts their head and clasps their hands in front of them. “Well, if you want to explain, I’m all ears.”

Deep breaths, Anti. “I just… I don’t know. I’ve been Anti-Bravoman ever since my dad realized that I was a counterpart to Bravoman - which was not long after I was created. Anti-Bravoman. I didn’t really get a say in that, although I guess at the time, I was okay with it. Somehow, I had Bravoman to blame for existing, and I had all his powers, so then it felt natural that I needed to take his name and prove myself superior, prove that I was more than his shadow, you know?”

He pauses, his gaze drifting downward as he absentmindedly pokes the straw in and out of his shake. “But lately, I guess… I guess I’ve been thinking… Why am I Anti-Bravoman? Am I really a man? Does a lab experiment really have a need for a gender? Why does it matter? I…” He looks up at Cousin, noticing their intent stare, and suddenly his confidence and courage collapse into an embarrassing little puddle.

“I-I’m sorry. This is dumb. I’m dumb. Sorry for wasting your time.” He begins to quickly scoot out of the booth, only freezing when he feels a hand take hold of his and give it a gentle squeeze. Eyes trail back to his friend’s face, which has softened into a concerned frown.

“Anti, you’re not dumb,” Cousin gently coaxes, giving his arm a gentle tug to get him to settle back down. “None of what you just said is dumb.” They grab his hand with their other hand now, clasping one on each side. “Let me just… Let me just ask you this. Do you consider yourself, do you feel like a man?”

The anti-hero considers for a moment. “I… I don’t know,” he answers flatly, though his voice slowly raises to a sound of distress as he continues. “I mean, I always thought I was. Everyone called me a man. I called me a man! But why am I a man? I don’t know! I don’t know if I really know if I feel like I am or if I’m supposed to be anymore I-”

“Anti!” Cousin cuts in sharply, before continuing in a gentler tone. “Let me ask this instead. Do you want to be a man?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know!”

Cousin gives his hand another gentle squeeze. “That’s alright then, you don’t have to know. Let’s try… Do you feel like a woman?”

Anti considers for a moment, then shakes his head. “Not really. I’m… I’m pretty sure of that, at least.”

“Okay, that’s progress,” Cousin says. They begin to rub small circles in his palm. “Maybe… I can’t speak for you, but just maybe, if you don’t really feel like a guy or a girl, maybe you’re non-binary.”

“Is… Is that really okay? Is that really something I can be?”

“Of course it is. I’m non-binary, Anti, why couldn’t you be?”

“I just thought that… maybe it was an alien thing,” Anti admits.

“No, it’s not an alien thing,” Cousin replies. “I promise.” They hesitate for a moment, then very carefully, they lean forward to reach up to pull down Anti’s scarf just a little, exposing purple skin, and cup the side of his face.

“Like I said, I can’t answer for you, but maybe non-binary fits you better. You don’t have to know right now, but it’s just something you can think about. And whatever you decide, I’ll be here for you.”

Anti nods slowly, letting the words sink in. At once, he feels a weight lifted from his shoulders. He doesn't have to know. At least, not right now. He can take his time to figure this out, and Cousin would be behind him, supporting him.

A thought occurs to him. “There’s just one thing…”

“Oh?”

“What would my name be, if I’m not Anti-Bravoman? Anti-Bravonon-binary just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well.”

Cousin stares for a moment, blinking a few times, then their mouth turns to a smile and they let out a giggle. “Oh, Anti. We can work on that.”
 
Last edited:

Namohysip

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I mean, Anti-Bravo works just fine.

--

Hey, Wind! I know nothing about this fandom at all, but I do know a little bit about Katamari, at least!

So, I thought this was a touching little story. The subject was mostly focused (mostly, I'll get to that later) and it didn't really dillydally once it got to the primary question. If anything, I think it went pretty quick, perhaps too quick to really elaborate further on it or what any of it meant. I think before I elaborate further on that on my own, though, I'll just get to a few quotes that stood out to me...

Maybe that was part of why Anti chose to come to Cousin about this. about something that he hadn't talked to anyone else yet.

Capitalization error.

What if they laugh in his face and tell him how much an idiot he is? Oh gosh, oh, they probably think he's an idiot anyways. This is stupid. He's stupid. He needs to leave he never should have even considered bringing up -

I think this was probably my favorite set of lines from the oneshot if only for how relatable it was. I think the choice to go third person limited/deep was a great call considering the subject matter that followed. But being able to get into Anti's head was just what this very short piece needed to drive the point across efficiently without really being hamfisted about it.

But lately, I guess… I guess I’ve been thinking… Why am I Anti-Bravoman?

So, here's the funny thing. I have a bad habit of not reading summaries until after the first few chapters because I just forget about them and hop right into the story. Maybe it's because summaries have a tendency to spoil things that I don't want to be spoiled on. And for a work as short as this one? Why even bother? I went back and checked the summary after, but this was the point where I realized what the oneshot was actually going to deal with. And while it's an interesting take... I sort of feel like it's only a small slice of the whole pizza.

I'm probably biased here because I've written... I mean, nearly the exact subject matter, so my mind started drifting right to the whole identity crisis right when it alluded to his origins and so on. So I felt a little, well, short-changed when it zeroed in on just gender, and not, well, absolutely everything. I suppose at the same time, it's wise to do that when it's such a short work, but there was definitely a lot of potential here that I feel is left untapped... unless that was already something tapped in the canon. Not that I'd know.

Anyway, that aside, I thought for the scope you limited the story to, you covered it nicely, like I said, and the prose and third-person limited nature worked well in your favor. I'd say it was fun just for that. Good work~
 

windskull

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Hey, Namo, thanks for dropping a review on this. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you found it fun.

I'm probably biased here because I've written... I mean, nearly the exact subject matter, so my mind started drifting right to the whole identity crisis right when it alluded to his origins and so on. So I felt a little, well, short-changed when it zeroed in on just gender, and not, well, absolutely everything. I suppose at the same time, it's wise to do that when it's such a short work, but there was definitely a lot of potential here that I feel is left untapped... unless that was already something tapped in the canon. Not that I'd know.
While I zeroed in on gender for this, I actually would like to go back sometime and write something longer that deals with more of Anti's general identity and self-confidence issues. It's just been low on my priorities because it's a tiny fandom (both Namco High and Bravoman in general) so feedback doesn't happen all that often. And I've already got two long fics going so it's probably not wise to tackle another. For what it's worth, since you mentioned it, canon really doesn't go deep with much of anything serious, so it leaves a lot open to explore (though to be fair, "canon" includes a gag comic about superhero tropes and a dating sim produced by the creator of Homestuck, neither of which take themselves too seriously, so a lot of this kind contemplation on more serious themes get's pushed to the side or brushed over.

Anyways, thanks again for taking the time to check this out. See you around.
 

kintsugi

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Hello, it me with no familiarity to this canon :')

I can't really comment on characters/backstory or how well you've rendered them, but their dialogue feels realistic. I think you cover the awkwardness and turmoil of how conversations like these tend to go, but you also don't dip too far into angst. This is at many levels a normal conversation to have, and it's a little soothing to see a coming out story that's not riddled with persecution and self-loathing -- those are obviously also important perspectives to have and tell, but modelling in supportive and calming approaches tot coming out is nice.

Your pacing helps with this too -- I feel like it's tempting to drag out scenes like this to make them more dramatic, but in real life they're often quite simple and short, and they also don't get solved all at once! I also like how you don't make this some magic bullet conversation that solves all of Anti's concerns about gender identity and personal identity in one fell swoop. You capture the open-endedness of things really well here while still giving a sense of closure to this part of the story.

so as to not offend his not-quite-significant-other
This line was really poetic and I liked the way it flowed; that's all!

He’s calm and cool and collected. Not anxious and cowardly and socially awkward, right?
This is more of a subtle thing, but I really liked how you portray Anti's thoughts as, well, binary. Having him trying to parse through these dichotomies and initially fail to understand that people can be both is pretty much the crux of this fic, so it's a neat detail to apply to how he views the rest of the world as well.

Otherwise, I don't really have much else to say! Fandom blind commentary is hard for me, but even with that I thought this was a really sweet and well-written fic. Thank you for sharing!
 

Shiny Phantump

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Hello! I saw the words "science experiment" and "genderfeels" in the same line of the blitz promo thread and am nothing if not entirely predictable. I only know Anti from Mafia, and Namco High from a Jaiden Animations video, but this cannot stop me.

This does a great job of taking advantage of the room for interplay between the roles Anti's gender and origins play in their identity. In spite of my knowledge of Anti, their struggles with gender come across as uniquely fitting the character and their circumstances.

He pauses, his gaze drifting downward as he absentmindedly pokes the straw in and out of his shake. “But lately, I guess… I guess I’ve been thinking… Why am I Anti-Bravoman? Am I really a man? Does a lab experiment really have a need for a gender? Why does it matter? I…” He looks up at Cousin, noticing their intent stare, and suddenly his confidence and courage collapse into an embarrassing little puddle.

“I-I’m sorry. This is dumb. I’m dumb. Sorry for wasting your time.” He begins to quickly scoot out of the booth, only freezing when he feels a hand take hold of his and give it a gentle squeeze. Eyes trail back to his friend’s face, which has softened into a concerned frown.

I want to give particular credit to this passage. It hits a note I've seen a few times in real life across myself and others, one of everything spilling out and then trying to walk it back when it starts to feel too vulnerable. It does this while maintaining a strong focus on Anti's nature: You couldn't put any other character in that first paragraph without having to completely rewrite it.

It- in that passage and otherwise- captures the anxiousness of picking apart a piece of your identity. It takes the potential shadow/clone characters have for exploring feelings about self and comparisons to other people and runs with them.

I've read a number of coming out scenes in my quest to consume all of the trans content I can find ever, and this one stands out as an extremely strong one. Having read some of your work before, I know you're a great author and so I'm not surprised to see you nail it, but full credit: Maintaining a character's flavour and keeping them feeling in-character while also exploring gender isn't easy, even when there's thematic overlap. The way this feels as much like a character study as a coming out scene makes this a compelling thing to read.
 
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