Spirits' Edge

[Namohysip]

"W-well, yeah, I..." Cal's embers flickered, like she was blinking. "I do... want to help out. I guess that's my choice... I guess I chose that..." She just didn't know if her choices were really something she was in control of.

But was anybody? Or...

"I wanted to see how she was doing... even if I was doing it for selfish reasons in the end, I guess..."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz narrowed her eyes.

Luz looked at Cal, uncertain. "Whaddaya mean, partner?"

"Seeing if you were matching me, no doubt," mused the Wandering Light.

 

[Namohysip]

"...I don't know..." Cal looked down. "To see if... the you that you're based on is alright. To see if... you'll be alright when you meet the flesh-and-blood Luz. And..." Cal swished her tail. "And if I'd work up the courage to see who I'm from."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I'm alright, Cal," said Luz, softly. "Really. And if y'wanna meet the flesh'n'blood 'Cal', and y'want a friend by yer side, jus' give the word. I'll be right there with ya."

Luz laughed, and Luz stared at her, confused.

"There you have it. I shouldn't matter to you. I don't have any stake in your identity. She does." The Wandering Light tilted her head, questioning. "Who is this person who stands here calling herself 'Luz', huh? I want your answer."

 

[Namohysip]

Cal seemed to be smiling, but it was a wavering one, still weighed down by too many thoughts. "Luz... the Luz I know is a world away from yours. So I guess it's not that much of a problem if you guys wind up sharing the same name. I have... the opposite problem." Cal looked down. "The one I'm from isn't named... Cal. I--I don't... I don't think I should use her name. I can't."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"Sounds like y'want to..." said the zeraora shade. "Would it be a bad thing t'keep the name I've always known ya by?"

The hero just listened, face inscrutable.

 

[Namohysip]

Cal fidgeted again. "I don't know. My name is Cal. I answer to Cal. And... I want to be fine with that. But there's this nagging feeling that..." Growing frustrated, she shook her head. "Forget it. I'm not good at this kind of thing, and this is supposed to be a moment where you figure yourself out. I--how do you feel?" Cal looked to the Shade she knew. "Now that you've seen your source."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz looked her 'source' over. She'd been expecting a mirror, or something unrecognisable. But in Luz, she saw just enough of herself, and no more, to recognise how she had become her.

The Wandering Light was blind, and tired, and old. So different. Yet she was . . . kind. In her strange, blunt sort of way. Like herself, really.

"I guess... I feel fine. This is all strange, but then everythin' in my life has been pretty darn strange. I'm no worse off'n I was. I guess I still don't know how to untangle my problems."

The blind wanderer grinned, and shrugged in a way that really did feel familiar. "That makes you no different to anyone else, bright spark."

 

[Namohysip]

"I guess it at least gives you some knowledge," Cal mumbled, looking back at Buffet, who only smiled. "Think that's all you needed?" she asked the Shade, wondering if it was about time to go. She wondered, idly, if the mirror would remember any of this.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz bit her lip. "I know I'll think of more to ask. I could stay here a while, fer sure. Easy. But..."

"It's okay," said Luz. "I'll give you a piece of advice, before you go."

Luz drew close to Luz, and took her paw in her own. Electricity passed between them, and with it, understanding.

"If you were made with memories of my stories, you were made with the belief that I always have a plan, I'm always bold and brave, I have the power to solve any problem. That I am loved. It doesn't matter how true any of that is. Although, they are stories. You can guess. Still, you have a choice whether to try to be that person you imagined. It ain't your destiny. It's something you can want. And if you decide that you do..."

The zeraora smiled at the shade. "It sounds like you're doing just fine so far."

Good luck, kid.

Thank you.

Luz let go.

 

[Namohysip]

Cal looked to Buffet, who nodded as he drifted forward.

"It sounds like we're ready to return to Cibus," he said. "Take care, Luz. It was a pleasure to meet you. And are you ready?" He looked to the Luz he knew, even as Cal stepped toward Buffet, readying for the ride back.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz wondered for a moment if what she was struggling to put into words would show on her face, only to realise Luz wouldn't see it. Her source saved her the agony of trying to communicate by giving her a little wave and saying: "Safe travels, kid."

"Safe travels," replied the shade, softly.

She climbed onto Buffet, and watched the blind hero recede into the eternal sunset storm of her dream. She wondered if Brisa would ever come to meet that zeraora in person. Maybe one day.

 

[Namohysip]

"Well," Buffet said as they flew through the astral sea once more, "how are you doing, dear? I know that it all just happened, but... initial thoughts?"

Cal was once again silent during the trip.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I sure appreciate the trip, partner," said Luz, evenly, staring out at the starscape. "I would've wondered fer ever what she was like until I actually met her, y'know. Turns out... She's not all that like the person I'd imagined, except fer in the ways I really care fer. She ain't fired up an' beamin' with charisma, no, but she gives a darn, I can tell she does."

She rubbed her cheek fur and frowned.

"She seemed so tired. Reminded me of Brisa, actually..."

 

[Namohysip]

"Well, hopefully she doesn't have the same troubles," Buffet said slowly. "It's strange. I think Brisa would like to know that, Luz. That even though the Wandering Light has nothing but praise and legends, she's still tired and may have the same plights as Brisa..." Buffet sighed. "It's hard to believe such a thing, isn't it?"

"Mm." Cal watched some of the stars drift about.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz shrugged. "I'm thinkin' maybe the idea of a hero who's thrilled about takin' on the world's problems is a fantasy. Maybe a 'mon can still be heroic and be chipper about it, but I think dedicatin' yerself to it means bein' . . . like that. I guess the Wanderin' Light's legends are from a time when she had more youthful energy, or somethin'..."

She sighed. "I wanted to know whether I was like her, and if there was a way fer me to be braver, I guess. I think I got what I wanted."

 

[Namohysip]

"That's good, dear." Buffet nodded with a calm smile. "I'm glad these trips have been fulfilling. And what about you, Cal? How are you feeling?"

"H-huh?!" Cal jolted, her ectoplasm churning.

"Ah, oh dear, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm alright."

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Luz smiled kindly at Cal and gave her a gentle bump on the shoulder.

"Berry f'yer thoughts, partner? I know there'll be a lot on yer mind after all that."

 

[Namohysip]

"...I'm glad that you're doing fine after meeting her," Cal replied simply, nodding. "I dunno how to phrase it otherwise, I guess. I... uh... yeah."

Not one for words, it seemed.

"You mentioned someone that you're based on too, didn't you?" Buffet asked, and to that Cal said nothing.

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

"I weren't askin' what y'thought of how I'm doin'. I'm askin' after yer thoughts on yer own source. But if y'wanna sit quietly with them awhile... Well, that's just fine, darlin'."

Luz patted Cal's shoulder gently, and shifted on Buffet's back such that, if Cal wanted, she could lean against her.