RJR Basimilus
Arceus is nice I suppose...
- Location
- the Lovely Planet
- Partners
-
Made some paleo bacon today that happened to be in the fridge. Kind of tasteless...
Yay! Finished another chapter!
Content warning for this chapter: Non extensive violence and depictions of sickness. Nothing bad, but not a pretty mental image, lol
Chapter 2: Plegomekitra
“Question, Michael.”
Michael looked back in time to see a cigarette vanish into Zygarde’s mouth, the canine swallowing it without a moment’s delay.
The man tried to keep a straight face. “Uh, what’s your question, Zygarde?”
The two of them were sitting on Mike’s back as the Sealeo glided across the surface of the water. Michael idly tugged at his wetsuit, a little thrown off by Zygarde’s casual snack.
“Cigarettes are very nice when smoked, but they taste terrible. Why is that?” Zygarde frowned. “Incidentally, may I have another one?”
Reaching in his bag, Michael pulled out a bag with a carton of cigarettes inside. He took one out and held it forward, holding it slightly out of Zygarde’s reach. “You might not agree, but generally you’re not supposed to eat it.”
“That seems counterintuitive,” Zygarde murmured, gratefully accepting Michael’s offering. “Although, it is par for the course for human inventions.”
Michael made a face. “Is that what you think? I mean, I guess so.” As he spoke, he lit Zygarde’s cigarette. “Oh shoot-” He fumbled, dropping the lighter into the water.
Mike looked back at them curiously. Michael waved at him.
“Don’t worry about it, Mike,” Michael said, “Just keep going.” He sighed. “Whatever. We’ll be fine until later.”
“Are you not concerned with retrieving it?” Zygarde asked, scanning the water where the lighter had fallen.
“It’s the ocean, it’s gone already,” Michael said, shrugging. He pointed at Zygarde’s cigarette. “Make that one last, alright? Unless you want to go in after it yourself.”
Zygarde looked down at the floaties tied around his legs and stomach. “I am not interested in entertaining that offer,” it said simply.
Michael laughed. “Then that’s that, I’ll just buy a new one.”
They sat in silence for a while longer before Michael spoke again.
“Out of curiosity, how does a cigarette taste?”
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Xerneas leaned towards the glass, reading the placard. “Leek soup flavored with liquid smoke,” she read slowly. “Liquid smoke?”
“Huh, that’s a really weird one,” Julius commented, standing next to Xerneas. “Liquid smoke in soup? Must be a Hoennese thing.” He ladled a portion into a bowl. “Might as well try some, no?”
They walked to a smaller table near the corner of the room. Towering over the rest of the room, Xerneas did her best to awkwardly make her way to Julius, apologizing profusely to anyone who would listen. Ignoring the startled glances, she settled down on the other side of the table, shooting the man a small smile.
“I hope my being here doesn’t cause too much trouble,” Xerneas said, looking around.
“You said you were a mythical pokemon or something?” Julius slurped the leek soup. “This isn’t bad,” he muttered to himself. “Anyway, it’s not like everyone is versed in history. Plus anyone who would recognize you would probably convince themselves that you’re not the real thing.”
Xerneas nodded. “I was talking more about how big I am, but that works too.”
Julius rubbed his forehead. “I feel like a smartass now.” He sighed, grinning. “Oh well. Did you try the soup?”
Xerneas leaned down slightly, her gaze flickering up to her antlers. Julius held the bowl out, the deer gently sipping it.
“I hope you don’t have any ancient diseases,” Julius said dryly.
“I feel fine, but I’m sure someone would feel honored if I made them sick,” Xerneas replied, “I’d fix you up anyway!” She frowned. “Not a fan of this soup.”
Julius put the bowl down and started poking at a salad with a fork. “Actually that’s an interesting question. If you’re in charge of life, then are you technically responsible for sickness?
Xerneas blanched. “I err, maybe??” she stammered, “There’s no one in charge of that last time I checked.”
“If you want to be broad, then I’d say so.” Julius smirked. “Do you speak for all life or only some of it?”
Craning her neck down, Xerneas seized a bread roll, furiously chewing it. “I don’t know!” she said in agitation.
Julius pointed his fork at her. “Well do you want to be?”
“Yes!” Xerneas stood up abruptly, banging her front knees on the table. “Ow.” She took a moment to compose herself. “That’s what I was made to do. Or at least, that’s the only thing I know I should be.”
A few people were looking at them, some scowling. Julius waved at them, faking a smile. “Let’s take this somewhere else,” he whispered.
==
“So, for most people, part of life is getting sick,” Julius started. They stood together on a sightseeing deck, the evening sun behind them. The deck below them thrummed with shouting and laughter, a generic rock song playing softly in the background.
“I’ve never been sick,” Xerneas said, “I mean, seen it? Definitely.”
Julius nodded. “Figured as much. Can you even get sick?”
Xerneas looked at the man strangely. “Do you want me to?”
“Well if you don’t know what life is, then that might be a good place to start,” Julius said, shrugging. “Or at least, do later. You’ll probably get sick at some point.”
“No...” Xerneas stared at the ground, her face scrunched up. “I want to get sick now.”
Julius was lost for words. “You don’t just get sick.” He paused. “Alright, you do kind of just ‘get’ sick, but you can’t get sick. Do you know what I mean?”
“It sounds like you know, but you won’t tell me,” Xerneas pouted, “I’ll be fine, Julius. I’ll just fix myself up afterwards.”
Julius leaned on the railing, sighing. “You do you, Goony. If you really want to get sick, lick every surface you can find on this boat. Don’t actually do that.”
“I’m gonna do it.”
Before Julius could say anything, Xerneas ran off, grinning at him as she left.
Julius was dumbfounded.
“Shit.”
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Zygarde tapped Michael on his shoulder with one paw. “I have finished my cigarette. Would you like to eat it?”
“No thanks buddy,” Michael said, wincing as he heard Zygarde start chewing on it. “I thought you said you didn’t like the taste.”
“Regardless of whether or not it is meant to be eaten, it seems wasteful. Therefore, I must do so, even if it is disagreeable.” Zygarde frowned. “What is she doing?” he murmured.
Michael leaned forward, letting Mike snack out of a bag of chips. “Huh? Who?”
“Xerneas,” Zygarde replied, “I don’t recall if I mentioned earlier, but she is the one I am looking for.”
“Oh yeah? You got a camera following her or something?” Michael made a face. “Creepy. I don’t think I’d mind being filmed though, like a reality show!”
Zygarde shook its head. “It’s complicated to explain, but you could say she is my ward. It’s my job to make sure she and her counterpart don’t get in trouble. To that end, I have a vague idea at all times where she is and where she is moving.”
“Still creepy,” Michael said lightly.
“You’re like a bounty hunter,” Mike said, looking back. “Like that movie about that robot Bisharp! Termite something I think?”
“I see.” Zygarde pawed at the scarf-like appendage around his neck. “Michael, Mike says I am like a bounty hunter from the termite movie.”
Michael’s eyes went wide. “Shit, Mike, you’re right. He is like the movie! He’s even got the robot eyes and everything.”
“What are robot eyes?” Zygarde asked, looking worried. “I’ve heard humans refer to Magnemite as robots. Are you saying I have Magnemite eyes?”
“Uh, no,” Michael said, as the Sealeo guffawed. “Don’t laugh, Mike! Zygarde is sensitive.” He reached over, scratching under Zygarde’s chin. “You don’t have Magnemite eyes, you have fantastic eyes. Not that Magnemite eyes aren’t great, but you have your own charm.”
Zygarde seemed caught off guard. “Your... compliments are noted. Thank you?”
Michael flashed a thumbs up. “No problem! Anyway, you said you can tell where this ‘Xerneas’ is?”
“Not approximately,” Zygarde said, shaking its head. “But it’s as if she is running back and forth in the same area.”
“Maybe she’s exercising,” Michael said, “What does she look like?”
Zygarde paused, thinking. “Consider a Sawsbuck, but- bigger.”
Michael pulled out a can of soda. “Yeah I don’t know. Just ask her when we catch up to them.” He took a long swig. “I’m kind of excited though, we’re going to Hoenn, that’s like your homeland, Mike!” He patted the Sealeo on the head.
Mike groaned, the pace of his swimming slowing slightly. “Zygarde, can you tell Michael I was born in a colony that migrated to Unova a few decades ago?” The Sealeo glanced back at the canine. “I don’t know anything about Hoenn.”
“Mike says his ancestors were exiled from Hoenn,” Zygarde relayed, a blank expression on its face.
“Woah, seriously?” Michael leaned down, wrapping his arms around the Sealeo’s neck. “Sorry buddy, I had no idea,” he said sadly.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mike growled, fuming. “Zygarde, you fucker!”
Zygarde was silent for a moment before speaking. “Michael. I must confess something. I was lying about Mike’s words. In actuality, his ancestors migrated many years ago, thus he knows little about Hoenn. I was deliberately misconstruing his words as a joke.”
The three of them stared at each other before Michael abruptly burst out laughing.
“You don’t explain the joke like you’re reading a dictionary, Zygarde!” Michael said, in between fits of laughter. “You’re crazy! Hahahahaha... sorry Mike.” The man looked apologetically at the Sealeo.
“Hnn, at least you corrected it,” Mike said, calming down. “Geez, you really are a robot.”
“I’ll note that as an insult,” Zygarde said, hiding a faint smile.
Michael held his arms up in an X shape. “Okay, okay, fine.” He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. “So we don’t know a thing about what we’re getting into. That’s fine, we’ll manage.”
“Always the optimist,” Mike murmured, “Hey, Zygarde. When you mentioned Xerneas earlier, you said something about her counterpart. Is that something we have to worry about?”
Zygarde shook its head. “The other one shouldn’t interfere in the slightest. Unlike Xerneas, they should be...”
The canine froze, his mouth hanging open. “Huh? What is-”
“Hm?” Michael looked at Zygarde. “Did Mike ask you a question or something?”
“No, no, no, no, he’s awake too?” Zygarde sounded panicked. “I was focusing on Xerneas, so I didn’t realize that-” It slumped forward, trembling. “This is a problem.”
Michael grabbed the canine’s front paws, holding them tightly. “Zygarde! Tell me what the problem is.”
“W-we need to find Xerneas quickly,” Zygarde said, “Something strange is happening.”
“Don’t panic, Zygarde,” Michael said, trying to calm it down. “Once we get the guy we want, we’ll help you out all you want, okay?”
Michael pulled the pokemon close to him, rolling him on his back. He slowly stroked Zygarde’s belly, motioning at Mike to speed up. The Sealeo rolled his eyes.
“I need to fix this,” Zygarde said, staring at the sky. “Or else this will be a disaster!”
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“When I was young, I had a dream. I was floating in space forever.”
The old man hesitated, his eyes drawn to the flashing colors in front of him.
“I’ve never had anything quite like it since, but I think that’s why I’ve always wanted to die there. But it’s not easy to die in space, you know?” he continued, “You have pretty good wings for a pokemon, I don’t suppose you could fly me up there? Haha, just kidding.”
Yveltal hesitated. “If you really wanted it, I... I could try.” He sniffled. “But I don’t think I’d make it.”
“Are you crying for me?” The elderly man smiled softly. “Please don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve had a good life.”
Yveltal nodded, tears running down his face. “I can’t help it. I’ve seen a- a fair amount of death. Usually, I can hold it in until I’m alone, but-” He stopped, burying his face in his arm-wings, crying.
“I used to hear people say that you go numb to those kinds of things if you keep encountering it,” the old man said softly, “I’m glad to see that that might not be the case.”
Yveltal took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He stared at the bright screen in front of him. “Why did you come to a casino to die?”
“Ah!” The old man looked around worriedly. “How did you know? Oh, I’m already dead aren’t I?” He laughed. “After all, a talking pokemon comes up to me and I just start telling them how I want to die.” The man pointed a bony finger at Yveltal. “That makes you death then.”
Yveltal stared blankly at the roulette in front of him. “Yes. Yes, I am. I can... I could tell you were dying. I wasn’t sure if death is the same as it has been, but I guess it is.”
The old man nodded. “I see. There’s no special reason I came here to die. All the lights and sounds are just so strange, almost alien, it’s the closest thing I can think of to space. I know it won’t be a pleasant surprise for someone, but I’ll be sure not to make it too hard on them.”
“Do you have any family?” Yveltal asked, reaching out and tugging on the lever on the machine.
“Just my wife,” the old man said, “Don’t worry, she’s waiting for me. I have a lot of friends, but I’ve always said I was going to do something like this, so there’s no reason to be sad.” He glanced at Yveltal. “So, what now?”
Yveltal shrugged. “I’m just death. People are alive. Pokemon are alive. Spirits are alive too. All I deal with is the single moment in between. I can’t say what happens after that.”
“Leaving me to figure it out, huh?” The man grinned. “Sounds exciting.” He leaned forward. “Well, thanks for listening to an old man. I think I’ll take a little nap before I get this all figured out.”
He laid his head down on the counter, the side of his head illuminated by the video screen advertising a jackpot endlessly. Soft guitar music floated through the room, bulbs in a gaudy crystal chandelier overhead flickering slightly.
“The same as ever,” Yveltal murmured, tearing up again. “Why do I even need to be death? It happens anyway whether I want it to or not.” He glanced over at the man, spotting something in his hands. Gingerly, Yveltal pulled out a small leather wallet. He carefully plucked a few loose coins out and slid them into the roulette, staring at the screen disinterestedly.
“I don’t suppose it’ll mean much,” Yveltal said to himself, acutely aware of the deceased man next to him. “But I’ll pretend that we’re in space, just for a little while.”
He pulled the lever.
=====><======
“I aaaam... haappy- urgh!”
“So? Did you learn anything?” Julius asked, ignoring the abysmal retching noises.
“I’m covered in my own vomit,” Xerneas said weakly from the other room, “But I feel great, honestly! Not, like, physically, but mentally.”
Julius cracked a small smile, shaking his head. “Great. Can’t you make yourself better now that you know what it’s like to be sick?”
“No! I have to- ack!” There was a mighty thump. “Oooooohhh~ I slipped.” Xerneas took a deep breath. “I have to experience this all the way through. Getting better is part of being sick, right?”
Julius sighed, standing up from the table he was at. “If you want to think of it that way, then fine. I’m going to go get you some medicine to help.”
“Hey!” Xerneas said, sounding upset. “That’ll ruin the experience.”
Julius wasn’t able to hold back a laugh. “Getting sick isn’t like reading a book, it’s not the same every time,” he said, “Plus I wouldn’t think figuring out life involves getting sick in different positions. If you want to get sick by yourself and roll around in misery, do it some other time. But in this case, you’re sick, so I’m obliged to take care of you. Having someone looking out for you can be part of the experience too.”
Xerneas was silent. “Oh,” she said, “I didn’t think of that.”
“Obviously, you’re not happy at all, right?” Julius asked, “I understand that you say that you’re appreciating the experience, but that doesn’t change the fact that you feel like crap.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Xerneas admitted. “I feel awful.”
“See? Anyway, I’m going to get something that’ll make you feel a bit better- unless you feel like fixing yourself now,” Julius thumbed through his wallet, frowning. “Fuck. Whatever, I’ll figure something out,” he said quietly to himself.
There was a shuffling sound, and Xerneas poked her head out of the other room. “I said I’m going to stick with it, and I will,” she said confidently, her eyes bloodshot. “It’s for the experience.”
“Right then.” Julius turned to leave the room. “Let’s make this the least-worst experience we can then.”
As he left, Xerneas slumped to the floor, shutting her eyes. “Life can suck a lot more than I gave it credit for,” she said, “Maybe that’s why Yveltal was always crying.”
--
As Julius walked along the outer deck, he scanned the ground.
“People drop pocket change all the time,” he said to himself. “But I really should have learned how to pickpocket.”
As he fretted, a glass window near his head exploded. Dropping to the ground, he heard a voice from below.
“Shoot! That was my only bullet. Zygarde, can you shoot anything?”
“I am not aware of what you mean by that.”
“Can you fire anything out of your mouth?”
“To a degree. I would rather not do that.”
Julius peered over the railing. Next to the ship, a man stood atop a Sealeo, a greenish canine next to him.
“You’re a dead man, Julius!” Michael shouted, “Do you know how hard Mike had to swim to catch up to you?”
“His effort is worthy of respect,” Zygarde added as Mike glared up at Julius.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Julius said, “And I know I’m dead, but can you wait for just a little bit before you kill me?”
“This isn’t negotiable,” Michael shouted back. “I always hated that attitude of yours by the way.”
Zygarde nudged him. “Your plan to kill this man does not extend to Xerneas, correct?”
Michael waved him off. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not going to touch your friend.”
Julius’ eyes widened when he heard Zygarde speak. “Hey, you know Goony?” He pointed at Zygarde. “Do you have any money you can spare?”
“Why would you need that?” Zygarde asked.
“Are you ignoring me?” Michael fumed.
Mike groaned. “Can we get on that boat?” the Sealeo asked Zygarde. “I’m running on fumes here.”
“I’m not ignoring you,” Julius shouted. Hearing a whistle, he turned back to see a man staring at him from the broken window. He pointed at the shattered glass. “Beats me,” Julius lied, shrugging. He looked back down at Zygarde. “I need to get medicine for Goony- I mean Xerneas. Uh, that’s what I call her. Anyway, she’s a bit sick.”
In an instant, Zygarde launched itself off of Mike’s back, running up the side of the boat as Michael and Mike watched awestruck.
Landing next to Julius, Zygarde glared at him with an icy gaze. “Take me to her immediately.”
Julius returned his gaze evenly. “As I was saying, do you have any money? I’ll bring you there after I get what I need.”
“Tch, I will not entertain your excuse,” Zygarde growled, “I will go to her myself.”
Before Julius could reply, Zygarde had run off, leaving him. He glanced back over the side of the ship at Michael. “Do you have any money on you?”
Michael held up his middle finger. “Fuck you!”
“Look, if you can spare me a little money, I’ll let you kill me later,” Julius said, “The reward money will make up for it right? More importantly, were you really going to make your Sealeo there carry a dead body across the sea?”
Mike looked back expectantly at Michael.
“I... just shut up. I’ll be up there in a moment,” Michael looked away angrily, “Just let me find a place to climb up.”
That said, he directed Mike to head around the back of the boat as Julius leaned on the railing, sighing. “This is annoying,” he murmured.
After a few minutes, Michael appeared on the deck, his wetsuit leaving a growing puddle on the ground. Sticking a pokeball in his backpack, he strode over, flicking open a small knife and pointing it at Julius. “Alright fucker, no sudden movements. We’ll get what you need.” His face flickered. “Also, what kind of food do they have here.”
“It’s pretty good stuff,” Julius said, nodding. “We’ll try some later.”
===[&&]===
Xerneas laid on her side, trying to fall asleep. Her stomach groaned in protest as she heard the door open.
“I thought of something, Julius,” she said, not opening her eyes. “Sickness doesn’t have to be a part of life if nothing good comes of it, don’t you think? Maybe I could get rid of it.”
“I would ask that you prepare a formal proposal for that.”
“Huh?” Xerneas’ eyes shot up. Zygarde stood in front of her, looking down with concern. “Z- Zygarde?” Xerneas popped up, scooting backwards. “What are you doing here?”
“That question is more suitable for you,” it replied, looking around the room in disgust. “Has that man forced you to live in this filthy room?”
Xerneas froze. “Err, no. Julius is great.”
Zygarde seemed unconvinced. “Why then are you in this state?”
“Long story,” Xerneas answered, trying to slowly edge around Zygarde. “It was nice of you to visit though.”
The door opened again, Julius walking in followed closely by Michael.
“Hey Goony,” Julius said lightly, “Is that guy bothering you?”
“Not at all,” Xerneas said, smiling. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”
“Huh, guess you’ll have to introduce- argh!”
Michael stabbed Julius in the gut with the knife before bringing it up and slicing his neck. “I think I’ll take my chances,” he said, stepping back to avoid the blood spurting out of the other man.
“JULIUS!” Xerneas screamed in terror, bowling over Zygarde as she ran to him. She rammed Michael out of the way, glaring at him as she did so, before positioning herself protectively over Julius. Her horns crackled with energy as she focused, sea green energy pouring out of her over the wounded man. The wounds slowly began to close, Julius gasping in surprise, reaching to where his wounds had been.
“Goony... you-” Michael struggled to his feet, flashing a strained smile at Xerneas. “That was nice of you- ghk!”
Michael stepped over and stabbed Julius again in the back of the neck.
Xerneas kicked Michael over. “Don’t do that,” she said furiously, leaning down to heal Julius again.
“Stop fixing him,” Michael retorted, watching the wounds close again. He ran over and stabbed Xerneas in the side of the head.
“No!” Julius shouted, jumping up and grabbing Michael. “You bastard!”
“Xerneas!” Zygarde rushed over to her. “What have you done, Michael?”
“Collateral damage, Zygarde,” Michael said, patting the canine on the head. “Sorry, but that’s what happens in the business.”
“Do you know what you’ve done?” Zygarde asked, its voice steely.
“He did nothing,” Xerneas said, thoroughly annoyed. “Everyone just shut up, okay?”
Julius looked up at her. “Are you okay?”
Xerneas’ eyes flickered to the knife sticking out of the side of her head. “I’ll be fine. Pain is part of life too, right?”
Julius glanced at Zygarde and Michael. Zygarde looked away while Michael shrugged and slumped in a chair nearby.
“Fuck this,” he said in annoyance. “Can’t kill anyone here, can I?”
“Nope,” Xerneas said, frowning at him.
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“Eheheheheehee!”
Yveltal grinned like a madman, trembling as he shoved more coins into the roulette slot.
Grabbing the lever with both arms, he pulled it down, the machine leaning forward slightly from the force. “I love it!” he whispered.
“You like gambling?”
Yveltal turned to see a woman staring down at him, a group of people in black suits behind her. He stared at her blankly for a moment before turning back to the roulette.
“Guess that’s a yes,” she said, turning back to the group behind her and making a face. “How long has this pokemon been here?” she asked quietly.
“We checked the cameras,” a man whispered back. “It just kind of wandered in a few hours ago, sat next to that old man, and just started playing the slots when he died.”
“So he’s been doing this for hours next to a dead guy? That’s wild,” the woman replied, whistling. “And uh, how did you not notice this until now?”
“New guy,” the man said, smiling apologetically. “He got caught up watching the blackjack tables.”
The woman shook her head. “I swear. Counting cards is more romantic than cooking these days. Well, just make sure he doesn’t do it again.” She turned around and grabbed the lever as Yveltal went to pull it again.
“What...” Yveltal looked at the lever forlornly. “Why are you stopping me?”
The woman blinked. “You can talk? That’s a new one.” She patted Yveltal on the head with her other hand. “So cutie, you don’t have a trainer, do you?”
“No? Do I need one?” Yveltal tugged weakly, but the woman’s hold on the lever was firm.
“If you want to keep playing, then yes.” She smiled. “I’m Suzanne. Why don’t you be my pokemon? You can play all you want if you do a few things for me.”
Yveltal looked at Suzanne. “I’ll do it!” he said without hesitation. “Death is non-negotiable. But this... this!”
“Sounds like you’re looking for a thrill,” Suzanne said, gesturing to one of her associates who handed her a pokeball. “Why don’t you take a little break, then I’ll show you how to play blackjack.”
Yveltal hesitated, then released the lever, turning to Suzanne and standing up at his full height. Towering over the humans, Yveltal smiled. “I can’t wait,” he said.
Suzanne poked him in the stomach with the pokeball and in a flash he was gone. Turning to the others, she gave a triumphant thumbs up. “Alright guys, looks like this casino has a new mascot!”
Yay! Finished another chapter!
Content warning for this chapter: Non extensive violence and depictions of sickness. Nothing bad, but not a pretty mental image, lol
Chapter 2: Plegomekitra
“Question, Michael.”
Michael looked back in time to see a cigarette vanish into Zygarde’s mouth, the canine swallowing it without a moment’s delay.
The man tried to keep a straight face. “Uh, what’s your question, Zygarde?”
The two of them were sitting on Mike’s back as the Sealeo glided across the surface of the water. Michael idly tugged at his wetsuit, a little thrown off by Zygarde’s casual snack.
“Cigarettes are very nice when smoked, but they taste terrible. Why is that?” Zygarde frowned. “Incidentally, may I have another one?”
Reaching in his bag, Michael pulled out a bag with a carton of cigarettes inside. He took one out and held it forward, holding it slightly out of Zygarde’s reach. “You might not agree, but generally you’re not supposed to eat it.”
“That seems counterintuitive,” Zygarde murmured, gratefully accepting Michael’s offering. “Although, it is par for the course for human inventions.”
Michael made a face. “Is that what you think? I mean, I guess so.” As he spoke, he lit Zygarde’s cigarette. “Oh shoot-” He fumbled, dropping the lighter into the water.
Mike looked back at them curiously. Michael waved at him.
“Don’t worry about it, Mike,” Michael said, “Just keep going.” He sighed. “Whatever. We’ll be fine until later.”
“Are you not concerned with retrieving it?” Zygarde asked, scanning the water where the lighter had fallen.
“It’s the ocean, it’s gone already,” Michael said, shrugging. He pointed at Zygarde’s cigarette. “Make that one last, alright? Unless you want to go in after it yourself.”
Zygarde looked down at the floaties tied around his legs and stomach. “I am not interested in entertaining that offer,” it said simply.
Michael laughed. “Then that’s that, I’ll just buy a new one.”
They sat in silence for a while longer before Michael spoke again.
“Out of curiosity, how does a cigarette taste?”
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Xerneas leaned towards the glass, reading the placard. “Leek soup flavored with liquid smoke,” she read slowly. “Liquid smoke?”
“Huh, that’s a really weird one,” Julius commented, standing next to Xerneas. “Liquid smoke in soup? Must be a Hoennese thing.” He ladled a portion into a bowl. “Might as well try some, no?”
They walked to a smaller table near the corner of the room. Towering over the rest of the room, Xerneas did her best to awkwardly make her way to Julius, apologizing profusely to anyone who would listen. Ignoring the startled glances, she settled down on the other side of the table, shooting the man a small smile.
“I hope my being here doesn’t cause too much trouble,” Xerneas said, looking around.
“You said you were a mythical pokemon or something?” Julius slurped the leek soup. “This isn’t bad,” he muttered to himself. “Anyway, it’s not like everyone is versed in history. Plus anyone who would recognize you would probably convince themselves that you’re not the real thing.”
Xerneas nodded. “I was talking more about how big I am, but that works too.”
Julius rubbed his forehead. “I feel like a smartass now.” He sighed, grinning. “Oh well. Did you try the soup?”
Xerneas leaned down slightly, her gaze flickering up to her antlers. Julius held the bowl out, the deer gently sipping it.
“I hope you don’t have any ancient diseases,” Julius said dryly.
“I feel fine, but I’m sure someone would feel honored if I made them sick,” Xerneas replied, “I’d fix you up anyway!” She frowned. “Not a fan of this soup.”
Julius put the bowl down and started poking at a salad with a fork. “Actually that’s an interesting question. If you’re in charge of life, then are you technically responsible for sickness?
Xerneas blanched. “I err, maybe??” she stammered, “There’s no one in charge of that last time I checked.”
“If you want to be broad, then I’d say so.” Julius smirked. “Do you speak for all life or only some of it?”
Craning her neck down, Xerneas seized a bread roll, furiously chewing it. “I don’t know!” she said in agitation.
Julius pointed his fork at her. “Well do you want to be?”
“Yes!” Xerneas stood up abruptly, banging her front knees on the table. “Ow.” She took a moment to compose herself. “That’s what I was made to do. Or at least, that’s the only thing I know I should be.”
A few people were looking at them, some scowling. Julius waved at them, faking a smile. “Let’s take this somewhere else,” he whispered.
==
“So, for most people, part of life is getting sick,” Julius started. They stood together on a sightseeing deck, the evening sun behind them. The deck below them thrummed with shouting and laughter, a generic rock song playing softly in the background.
“I’ve never been sick,” Xerneas said, “I mean, seen it? Definitely.”
Julius nodded. “Figured as much. Can you even get sick?”
Xerneas looked at the man strangely. “Do you want me to?”
“Well if you don’t know what life is, then that might be a good place to start,” Julius said, shrugging. “Or at least, do later. You’ll probably get sick at some point.”
“No...” Xerneas stared at the ground, her face scrunched up. “I want to get sick now.”
Julius was lost for words. “You don’t just get sick.” He paused. “Alright, you do kind of just ‘get’ sick, but you can’t get sick. Do you know what I mean?”
“It sounds like you know, but you won’t tell me,” Xerneas pouted, “I’ll be fine, Julius. I’ll just fix myself up afterwards.”
Julius leaned on the railing, sighing. “You do you, Goony. If you really want to get sick, lick every surface you can find on this boat. Don’t actually do that.”
“I’m gonna do it.”
Before Julius could say anything, Xerneas ran off, grinning at him as she left.
Julius was dumbfounded.
“Shit.”
{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}{][}
Zygarde tapped Michael on his shoulder with one paw. “I have finished my cigarette. Would you like to eat it?”
“No thanks buddy,” Michael said, wincing as he heard Zygarde start chewing on it. “I thought you said you didn’t like the taste.”
“Regardless of whether or not it is meant to be eaten, it seems wasteful. Therefore, I must do so, even if it is disagreeable.” Zygarde frowned. “What is she doing?” he murmured.
Michael leaned forward, letting Mike snack out of a bag of chips. “Huh? Who?”
“Xerneas,” Zygarde replied, “I don’t recall if I mentioned earlier, but she is the one I am looking for.”
“Oh yeah? You got a camera following her or something?” Michael made a face. “Creepy. I don’t think I’d mind being filmed though, like a reality show!”
Zygarde shook its head. “It’s complicated to explain, but you could say she is my ward. It’s my job to make sure she and her counterpart don’t get in trouble. To that end, I have a vague idea at all times where she is and where she is moving.”
“Still creepy,” Michael said lightly.
“You’re like a bounty hunter,” Mike said, looking back. “Like that movie about that robot Bisharp! Termite something I think?”
“I see.” Zygarde pawed at the scarf-like appendage around his neck. “Michael, Mike says I am like a bounty hunter from the termite movie.”
Michael’s eyes went wide. “Shit, Mike, you’re right. He is like the movie! He’s even got the robot eyes and everything.”
“What are robot eyes?” Zygarde asked, looking worried. “I’ve heard humans refer to Magnemite as robots. Are you saying I have Magnemite eyes?”
“Uh, no,” Michael said, as the Sealeo guffawed. “Don’t laugh, Mike! Zygarde is sensitive.” He reached over, scratching under Zygarde’s chin. “You don’t have Magnemite eyes, you have fantastic eyes. Not that Magnemite eyes aren’t great, but you have your own charm.”
Zygarde seemed caught off guard. “Your... compliments are noted. Thank you?”
Michael flashed a thumbs up. “No problem! Anyway, you said you can tell where this ‘Xerneas’ is?”
“Not approximately,” Zygarde said, shaking its head. “But it’s as if she is running back and forth in the same area.”
“Maybe she’s exercising,” Michael said, “What does she look like?”
Zygarde paused, thinking. “Consider a Sawsbuck, but- bigger.”
Michael pulled out a can of soda. “Yeah I don’t know. Just ask her when we catch up to them.” He took a long swig. “I’m kind of excited though, we’re going to Hoenn, that’s like your homeland, Mike!” He patted the Sealeo on the head.
Mike groaned, the pace of his swimming slowing slightly. “Zygarde, can you tell Michael I was born in a colony that migrated to Unova a few decades ago?” The Sealeo glanced back at the canine. “I don’t know anything about Hoenn.”
“Mike says his ancestors were exiled from Hoenn,” Zygarde relayed, a blank expression on its face.
“Woah, seriously?” Michael leaned down, wrapping his arms around the Sealeo’s neck. “Sorry buddy, I had no idea,” he said sadly.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mike growled, fuming. “Zygarde, you fucker!”
Zygarde was silent for a moment before speaking. “Michael. I must confess something. I was lying about Mike’s words. In actuality, his ancestors migrated many years ago, thus he knows little about Hoenn. I was deliberately misconstruing his words as a joke.”
The three of them stared at each other before Michael abruptly burst out laughing.
“You don’t explain the joke like you’re reading a dictionary, Zygarde!” Michael said, in between fits of laughter. “You’re crazy! Hahahahaha... sorry Mike.” The man looked apologetically at the Sealeo.
“Hnn, at least you corrected it,” Mike said, calming down. “Geez, you really are a robot.”
“I’ll note that as an insult,” Zygarde said, hiding a faint smile.
Michael held his arms up in an X shape. “Okay, okay, fine.” He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. “So we don’t know a thing about what we’re getting into. That’s fine, we’ll manage.”
“Always the optimist,” Mike murmured, “Hey, Zygarde. When you mentioned Xerneas earlier, you said something about her counterpart. Is that something we have to worry about?”
Zygarde shook its head. “The other one shouldn’t interfere in the slightest. Unlike Xerneas, they should be...”
The canine froze, his mouth hanging open. “Huh? What is-”
“Hm?” Michael looked at Zygarde. “Did Mike ask you a question or something?”
“No, no, no, no, he’s awake too?” Zygarde sounded panicked. “I was focusing on Xerneas, so I didn’t realize that-” It slumped forward, trembling. “This is a problem.”
Michael grabbed the canine’s front paws, holding them tightly. “Zygarde! Tell me what the problem is.”
“W-we need to find Xerneas quickly,” Zygarde said, “Something strange is happening.”
“Don’t panic, Zygarde,” Michael said, trying to calm it down. “Once we get the guy we want, we’ll help you out all you want, okay?”
Michael pulled the pokemon close to him, rolling him on his back. He slowly stroked Zygarde’s belly, motioning at Mike to speed up. The Sealeo rolled his eyes.
“I need to fix this,” Zygarde said, staring at the sky. “Or else this will be a disaster!”
[\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\] [\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\] [\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\] [\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\]
“When I was young, I had a dream. I was floating in space forever.”
The old man hesitated, his eyes drawn to the flashing colors in front of him.
“I’ve never had anything quite like it since, but I think that’s why I’ve always wanted to die there. But it’s not easy to die in space, you know?” he continued, “You have pretty good wings for a pokemon, I don’t suppose you could fly me up there? Haha, just kidding.”
Yveltal hesitated. “If you really wanted it, I... I could try.” He sniffled. “But I don’t think I’d make it.”
“Are you crying for me?” The elderly man smiled softly. “Please don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve had a good life.”
Yveltal nodded, tears running down his face. “I can’t help it. I’ve seen a- a fair amount of death. Usually, I can hold it in until I’m alone, but-” He stopped, burying his face in his arm-wings, crying.
“I used to hear people say that you go numb to those kinds of things if you keep encountering it,” the old man said softly, “I’m glad to see that that might not be the case.”
Yveltal took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. He stared at the bright screen in front of him. “Why did you come to a casino to die?”
“Ah!” The old man looked around worriedly. “How did you know? Oh, I’m already dead aren’t I?” He laughed. “After all, a talking pokemon comes up to me and I just start telling them how I want to die.” The man pointed a bony finger at Yveltal. “That makes you death then.”
Yveltal stared blankly at the roulette in front of him. “Yes. Yes, I am. I can... I could tell you were dying. I wasn’t sure if death is the same as it has been, but I guess it is.”
The old man nodded. “I see. There’s no special reason I came here to die. All the lights and sounds are just so strange, almost alien, it’s the closest thing I can think of to space. I know it won’t be a pleasant surprise for someone, but I’ll be sure not to make it too hard on them.”
“Do you have any family?” Yveltal asked, reaching out and tugging on the lever on the machine.
“Just my wife,” the old man said, “Don’t worry, she’s waiting for me. I have a lot of friends, but I’ve always said I was going to do something like this, so there’s no reason to be sad.” He glanced at Yveltal. “So, what now?”
Yveltal shrugged. “I’m just death. People are alive. Pokemon are alive. Spirits are alive too. All I deal with is the single moment in between. I can’t say what happens after that.”
“Leaving me to figure it out, huh?” The man grinned. “Sounds exciting.” He leaned forward. “Well, thanks for listening to an old man. I think I’ll take a little nap before I get this all figured out.”
He laid his head down on the counter, the side of his head illuminated by the video screen advertising a jackpot endlessly. Soft guitar music floated through the room, bulbs in a gaudy crystal chandelier overhead flickering slightly.
“The same as ever,” Yveltal murmured, tearing up again. “Why do I even need to be death? It happens anyway whether I want it to or not.” He glanced over at the man, spotting something in his hands. Gingerly, Yveltal pulled out a small leather wallet. He carefully plucked a few loose coins out and slid them into the roulette, staring at the screen disinterestedly.
“I don’t suppose it’ll mean much,” Yveltal said to himself, acutely aware of the deceased man next to him. “But I’ll pretend that we’re in space, just for a little while.”
He pulled the lever.
=====><======
“I aaaam... haappy- urgh!”
“So? Did you learn anything?” Julius asked, ignoring the abysmal retching noises.
“I’m covered in my own vomit,” Xerneas said weakly from the other room, “But I feel great, honestly! Not, like, physically, but mentally.”
Julius cracked a small smile, shaking his head. “Great. Can’t you make yourself better now that you know what it’s like to be sick?”
“No! I have to- ack!” There was a mighty thump. “Oooooohhh~ I slipped.” Xerneas took a deep breath. “I have to experience this all the way through. Getting better is part of being sick, right?”
Julius sighed, standing up from the table he was at. “If you want to think of it that way, then fine. I’m going to go get you some medicine to help.”
“Hey!” Xerneas said, sounding upset. “That’ll ruin the experience.”
Julius wasn’t able to hold back a laugh. “Getting sick isn’t like reading a book, it’s not the same every time,” he said, “Plus I wouldn’t think figuring out life involves getting sick in different positions. If you want to get sick by yourself and roll around in misery, do it some other time. But in this case, you’re sick, so I’m obliged to take care of you. Having someone looking out for you can be part of the experience too.”
Xerneas was silent. “Oh,” she said, “I didn’t think of that.”
“Obviously, you’re not happy at all, right?” Julius asked, “I understand that you say that you’re appreciating the experience, but that doesn’t change the fact that you feel like crap.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Xerneas admitted. “I feel awful.”
“See? Anyway, I’m going to get something that’ll make you feel a bit better- unless you feel like fixing yourself now,” Julius thumbed through his wallet, frowning. “Fuck. Whatever, I’ll figure something out,” he said quietly to himself.
There was a shuffling sound, and Xerneas poked her head out of the other room. “I said I’m going to stick with it, and I will,” she said confidently, her eyes bloodshot. “It’s for the experience.”
“Right then.” Julius turned to leave the room. “Let’s make this the least-worst experience we can then.”
As he left, Xerneas slumped to the floor, shutting her eyes. “Life can suck a lot more than I gave it credit for,” she said, “Maybe that’s why Yveltal was always crying.”
--
As Julius walked along the outer deck, he scanned the ground.
“People drop pocket change all the time,” he said to himself. “But I really should have learned how to pickpocket.”
As he fretted, a glass window near his head exploded. Dropping to the ground, he heard a voice from below.
“Shoot! That was my only bullet. Zygarde, can you shoot anything?”
“I am not aware of what you mean by that.”
“Can you fire anything out of your mouth?”
“To a degree. I would rather not do that.”
Julius peered over the railing. Next to the ship, a man stood atop a Sealeo, a greenish canine next to him.
“You’re a dead man, Julius!” Michael shouted, “Do you know how hard Mike had to swim to catch up to you?”
“His effort is worthy of respect,” Zygarde added as Mike glared up at Julius.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Julius said, “And I know I’m dead, but can you wait for just a little bit before you kill me?”
“This isn’t negotiable,” Michael shouted back. “I always hated that attitude of yours by the way.”
Zygarde nudged him. “Your plan to kill this man does not extend to Xerneas, correct?”
Michael waved him off. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not going to touch your friend.”
Julius’ eyes widened when he heard Zygarde speak. “Hey, you know Goony?” He pointed at Zygarde. “Do you have any money you can spare?”
“Why would you need that?” Zygarde asked.
“Are you ignoring me?” Michael fumed.
Mike groaned. “Can we get on that boat?” the Sealeo asked Zygarde. “I’m running on fumes here.”
“I’m not ignoring you,” Julius shouted. Hearing a whistle, he turned back to see a man staring at him from the broken window. He pointed at the shattered glass. “Beats me,” Julius lied, shrugging. He looked back down at Zygarde. “I need to get medicine for Goony- I mean Xerneas. Uh, that’s what I call her. Anyway, she’s a bit sick.”
In an instant, Zygarde launched itself off of Mike’s back, running up the side of the boat as Michael and Mike watched awestruck.
Landing next to Julius, Zygarde glared at him with an icy gaze. “Take me to her immediately.”
Julius returned his gaze evenly. “As I was saying, do you have any money? I’ll bring you there after I get what I need.”
“Tch, I will not entertain your excuse,” Zygarde growled, “I will go to her myself.”
Before Julius could reply, Zygarde had run off, leaving him. He glanced back over the side of the ship at Michael. “Do you have any money on you?”
Michael held up his middle finger. “Fuck you!”
“Look, if you can spare me a little money, I’ll let you kill me later,” Julius said, “The reward money will make up for it right? More importantly, were you really going to make your Sealeo there carry a dead body across the sea?”
Mike looked back expectantly at Michael.
“I... just shut up. I’ll be up there in a moment,” Michael looked away angrily, “Just let me find a place to climb up.”
That said, he directed Mike to head around the back of the boat as Julius leaned on the railing, sighing. “This is annoying,” he murmured.
After a few minutes, Michael appeared on the deck, his wetsuit leaving a growing puddle on the ground. Sticking a pokeball in his backpack, he strode over, flicking open a small knife and pointing it at Julius. “Alright fucker, no sudden movements. We’ll get what you need.” His face flickered. “Also, what kind of food do they have here.”
“It’s pretty good stuff,” Julius said, nodding. “We’ll try some later.”
===[&&]===
Xerneas laid on her side, trying to fall asleep. Her stomach groaned in protest as she heard the door open.
“I thought of something, Julius,” she said, not opening her eyes. “Sickness doesn’t have to be a part of life if nothing good comes of it, don’t you think? Maybe I could get rid of it.”
“I would ask that you prepare a formal proposal for that.”
“Huh?” Xerneas’ eyes shot up. Zygarde stood in front of her, looking down with concern. “Z- Zygarde?” Xerneas popped up, scooting backwards. “What are you doing here?”
“That question is more suitable for you,” it replied, looking around the room in disgust. “Has that man forced you to live in this filthy room?”
Xerneas froze. “Err, no. Julius is great.”
Zygarde seemed unconvinced. “Why then are you in this state?”
“Long story,” Xerneas answered, trying to slowly edge around Zygarde. “It was nice of you to visit though.”
The door opened again, Julius walking in followed closely by Michael.
“Hey Goony,” Julius said lightly, “Is that guy bothering you?”
“Not at all,” Xerneas said, smiling. “We’ve known each other for a long time.”
“Huh, guess you’ll have to introduce- argh!”
Michael stabbed Julius in the gut with the knife before bringing it up and slicing his neck. “I think I’ll take my chances,” he said, stepping back to avoid the blood spurting out of the other man.
“JULIUS!” Xerneas screamed in terror, bowling over Zygarde as she ran to him. She rammed Michael out of the way, glaring at him as she did so, before positioning herself protectively over Julius. Her horns crackled with energy as she focused, sea green energy pouring out of her over the wounded man. The wounds slowly began to close, Julius gasping in surprise, reaching to where his wounds had been.
“Goony... you-” Michael struggled to his feet, flashing a strained smile at Xerneas. “That was nice of you- ghk!”
Michael stepped over and stabbed Julius again in the back of the neck.
Xerneas kicked Michael over. “Don’t do that,” she said furiously, leaning down to heal Julius again.
“Stop fixing him,” Michael retorted, watching the wounds close again. He ran over and stabbed Xerneas in the side of the head.
“No!” Julius shouted, jumping up and grabbing Michael. “You bastard!”
“Xerneas!” Zygarde rushed over to her. “What have you done, Michael?”
“Collateral damage, Zygarde,” Michael said, patting the canine on the head. “Sorry, but that’s what happens in the business.”
“Do you know what you’ve done?” Zygarde asked, its voice steely.
“He did nothing,” Xerneas said, thoroughly annoyed. “Everyone just shut up, okay?”
Julius looked up at her. “Are you okay?”
Xerneas’ eyes flickered to the knife sticking out of the side of her head. “I’ll be fine. Pain is part of life too, right?”
Julius glanced at Zygarde and Michael. Zygarde looked away while Michael shrugged and slumped in a chair nearby.
“Fuck this,” he said in annoyance. “Can’t kill anyone here, can I?”
“Nope,” Xerneas said, frowning at him.
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“Eheheheheehee!”
Yveltal grinned like a madman, trembling as he shoved more coins into the roulette slot.
Grabbing the lever with both arms, he pulled it down, the machine leaning forward slightly from the force. “I love it!” he whispered.
“You like gambling?”
Yveltal turned to see a woman staring down at him, a group of people in black suits behind her. He stared at her blankly for a moment before turning back to the roulette.
“Guess that’s a yes,” she said, turning back to the group behind her and making a face. “How long has this pokemon been here?” she asked quietly.
“We checked the cameras,” a man whispered back. “It just kind of wandered in a few hours ago, sat next to that old man, and just started playing the slots when he died.”
“So he’s been doing this for hours next to a dead guy? That’s wild,” the woman replied, whistling. “And uh, how did you not notice this until now?”
“New guy,” the man said, smiling apologetically. “He got caught up watching the blackjack tables.”
The woman shook her head. “I swear. Counting cards is more romantic than cooking these days. Well, just make sure he doesn’t do it again.” She turned around and grabbed the lever as Yveltal went to pull it again.
“What...” Yveltal looked at the lever forlornly. “Why are you stopping me?”
The woman blinked. “You can talk? That’s a new one.” She patted Yveltal on the head with her other hand. “So cutie, you don’t have a trainer, do you?”
“No? Do I need one?” Yveltal tugged weakly, but the woman’s hold on the lever was firm.
“If you want to keep playing, then yes.” She smiled. “I’m Suzanne. Why don’t you be my pokemon? You can play all you want if you do a few things for me.”
Yveltal looked at Suzanne. “I’ll do it!” he said without hesitation. “Death is non-negotiable. But this... this!”
“Sounds like you’re looking for a thrill,” Suzanne said, gesturing to one of her associates who handed her a pokeball. “Why don’t you take a little break, then I’ll show you how to play blackjack.”
Yveltal hesitated, then released the lever, turning to Suzanne and standing up at his full height. Towering over the humans, Yveltal smiled. “I can’t wait,” he said.
Suzanne poked him in the stomach with the pokeball and in a flash he was gone. Turning to the others, she gave a triumphant thumbs up. “Alright guys, looks like this casino has a new mascot!”