RJR Basimilus
Arceus is nice I suppose...
- Location
- the Lovely Planet
- Partners
-
I didn’t really internalize the drabble part.
So here’s almost 4000 words of bingo
Oh noooooooo
Handy Guide!
Square 1 : National Geographic actually didn’t want to film this one (When Miltank Fly)
CW: Drug abuse and unsettling implied actions
At three forty in the afternoon, the line at the Ecruteak international airport was backed up through the terminal, a few feet from snaking out the front door. The head of security, Landon, was forced to round up a crew of janitors and employees from the fast food restaurants in the terminal to buoy the flagging crew of baggage checkers who had been going through every piece of luggage by hand.
Standing in front of the horde of passengers, he felt anger, understanding, and confusion in equal measure. He turned to his team with a grim expression.
“As you have seen, we have to search all luggage by ourselves now because Lugnut has to recover,” he said, stealing a glance at the Luxray lying face down under a bench. “He pushed himself a bit hard today. By chance, do any of you have any pokemon that can see through solid objects?”
“I have a Shuppet,” one woman offered, shaking out her uniform. The coffee shop was one of the closest stores to the security line, and Landon had pulled her from behind the counter so fast that she was still holding a half made latte. “She can’t see through things, but she can go through them,” she added.
Landon thought about it. “That should be fine,” he concluded, nodding at her. “As long as it only goes in suitcases and backpacks. Ghosts can affect pacemakers, believe it or not.”
A few of the assembled conscripts paled, whispering amongst themselves.
“Hurry up over there, chief!” Landon looked over to see one of his men struggling with an older man. “Yes, your pokemon need identification too sir,” the man said, briefly waving at Landon. “- no- no we don’t do that here, you have to go to a post office.”
“Alright, get to it,” Landon said, directing the bewildered group to stations. “Just use your best judgement, and if you need help, just look at the sign!”
The sign on the wall was printed in extremely large text, accompanied by detailed pictures. It was impossible to miss in the line unless you were closing your eyes.
No outside food
No Electirizers
No weapons
No salac berries
“Hey, um, sir?” An employee from the duty-free store approached Landon. “What is an electirizer?”
Landon shook his head. “Think of it like a leaky battery. It can release electricity that can damage the sensors of a plane. If you see one, throw it in the trash.”
As the man nodded and hurried away, the coffee shop woman came by. “Can you help me here, Landon?”
“Sure.” Following her, Landon came to a line where a man was angrily shielding a Miltank from a Shuppet that was looking at the Miltank strangely.
The man seized upon Landon with a wild expression. “Are you in charge around here? You call these incompetent idiots staff?”
Coffee woman rolled her eyes. “Virmy accidently phased through the Miltank and now she won’t leave it alone. His bags were fine though.”
“Couldn’t you just return her to her ball?” Landon asked, frowning as the man gestured wildly as if to say ‘right?’
“She doesn’t usually do stuff like that?” Coffee woman replied, shrugging, “I just thought it was weird, so I just wanted to ask you.”
Landon was about to reply when he looked at the Miltank again. He stopped short before speaking. “I’m sorry sir, but could you and your Miltank follow me?”
:=
“Do you have anything illegal in your bag that you would like to tell me about before I search?” Landon said in a dry tone.
“No, nothing,” the man replied, his eyes flickering to Miltank before he scowled. “Gonna be late for my fucking flight, you know?”
“I understand, but this is procedure,” Landon said, putting on a pair of gloves. He turned to Coffee woman and Virmy, who had followed him awkwardly. “You two watch the Miltank, okay?”
“Don’t touch Gorky, woman!” the man said loudly. Landon glared at him and he shrunk in his seat. “I mean... just don’t hurt her or anything, she’s the best Miltank I’ve got.”
“So you own a farm?” Landon said idly, flipping through a pocket sized book he pulled out of the man’s luggage. “Where are you headed today?”
The man stared at his luggage, not meeting Landon’s gaze. “I was heading to Floccesy. I have- I have a cousin out there. I was going to help him with his farm.”
Landon hummed. “Alright. Why’s your ticket for Castellia then? Kind of far away, isn’t it?”
“I was going to visit a friend and then take a ship over,” the man replied quickly, “Just a visit, you know?”
“Mmmm, it says here you booked a return ticket for four days after you arrive.” Landon’s tone was even as he started packing odds and ends back in the bag. “You won’t have much time to help your cousin, will you?”
“He doesn’t need that much help,” the man muttered.
“Sir, are you transporting anything illegal?” Landon asked.
The man shook his head, balling his hands up. “No, you just looked through my bag.”
“Well, just to be safe-” Landon produced a q-tip, sweeping it inside the bag. When he removed it, there was a noticeable green tinge. “There’s some residue here. Do you know what that is, sir?”
The man shook his head again. Nearby, Coffee woman noticed the Miltank shifting from side to side, looking distressed.
“We have to test this, alright?” Landon walked over to a nearby cabinet, pulling out a small container. “If this turns blue, then it’s positive for salac powder. Do you understand?”
“I don’t know why there’s green in my bag,” the man protested, “I always leave my bag open a little, you know? Someone must have dropped something in it. I’m clumsy like that.”
“I understand,” Landon said, not really paying attention to the man.
As he loosed a droplet of liquid onto the green powder at the bottom of the tube, he closed it tight, shaking it. Holding it in the air for everyone to see, he pointed at the blue foam in the tube.
“It’s blue. That means you have salac powder.”
“That’s the party drug, right?” Coffee woman asked from nearby.
“The same,” Landon replied, “Why is this in your bag sir? Do you have any more of it?”
“I don’t know,” the man said feebly,” It’s not mine, I don’t know how it got in there.”
Landon sighed, looking at Coffee woman. “You really did find the worst one today.” He looked at the Miltank. “Go find a bucket, please.”
:=
The arrival of the police had made the already overflowing line into a veritable free for all. Someone had started selling alcohol to people stuck in the line and the air was filled with raucous singing from the more inebriated passengers. A cheer went up through the line as the police lead the man from earlier out in cuffs, while a team of medics attended to a sickly looking Miltank and an exhausted Luxray. Landon sat on the floor, his face in his hands.
Coffee woman was back at the shop, regaling her coworkers and the customers with the events of the past hour, much to their delight. The Shuppet, Virmy was next to her, smiling broadly.
“-we had to milk it all out!” she said loudly, the crowd bursting into laughter.
Landon shook his head, feeling sorry for the Miltank. “I wish Miltank could fly,” he said to himself. “It would have saved us a lot of trouble.”
Note of the author
Si es azul es cocaína - quote from the world famous tv show, To Catch a Smuggler
That’s literally the premise that appeared before me, and I was forced at knifepoint (held by my other hand) to write this
Prompt 2: The Hot Singles are coming from inside the House (Partner)
Kecleon held up an apple larger than his head. “How much?”
The orange Kecleon next to him studied the apple intently. “70?” he asked hopefully.
“Too slow!” Kecleon threw the apple at his head. “And too low!”
The younger Kecleon rubbed his head where he had been hit. “Was I at least right?” he pouted.
“Doesn’t matter- real merchants never sell at market value,” the older Kecleon chided, “You still have a long way to go before you can earn the family name, Kecoo.”
Kecoo was about to reply when he was distracted by shouting nearby.
“Xaaattuuuuuu~”
A little ways away from the Kecleon stand, at Xatu’s treasure appraisal, a Ninetails placed a box in front of Xatu with an unnaturally large grin. “I found another amazing treasure!” he said.
Kecoo grimaced. “It’s Ninetails again.” He turned to Kecleon. “Why does he keep coming around, big bro?”
Kecleon shrugged, leaning on the counter. “Beats me. If I could tell the future, I’d make a house out of the poke I’d make from it. I heard he lives on top of a great mountain in another continent, but recently, he’s lost it.”
“Lost what?” Kecoo stared at Ninetails strangely.
“Just watch,” Kecleon replied, “You’ll get a bonus lesson in how to deal with strange customers.”
From behind a curtain in his shop, Xatu appeared. His eyes widened for a second when he saw Ninetails, but he just as quickly assumed a neutral expression. “Ninetails... you have returned.”
“That’s right!” Ninetails said, heaving the chest onto the counter. “I found this legendary treasure at the bottom of a black trench where no sunlight reaches.”
“If I may hazard a guess, does it contain 100 strips of paper with the names of anyone you’ve deemed eminently compatible with yourself?” Xatu asked, staring at the box.
“Wow, that’s a great guess!” Ninetails said happily, “There’s actually 150 names!”
“Oh... there’s more now,” Xatu mumbled, looking pained.
Kecoo made a face. “What kind of treasure is that?”
“Ah, it’s difficult to explain,” Kecleon said, “From what I’ve heard, Ninetails can see a lot of the future, but he can’t quite see his own. And just recently, this has ignited something of a midlife crisis in him.”
Kecoo studied the Ninetails. “A crisis?”
“He’s convinced that since he can’t see his own future, that he has no right to decide it,” Kecleon said, smirking, “This is his way of searching for companionship, a partner of fate if you would.”
“Oh- I uh, don’t really get it, but okay!” Kecoo nodded. “So the box has the names of pokemon he’ll be friends with?”
“I guess that’s what he thinks,” Kecleon murmured, “I looked at the scraps last time. Almost everyone in town is in there, as well as a ton of pokemon I don’t know. My name was in there too, and I shudder to think what would happen if he pulled it.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Kecoo replied, “What does he do when-”
“AUGH, NOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ninetail’s screams echoed through the plaza, Kecoo jumping in fright, while Kecleon scowled.
“How could this happen?” Ninetails said, distraught, “A blank piece?”
“Maybe... this too is... faaaate-” Xatu managed, before falling backwards, unconscious.
Ninetails sat on his hind legs, his eyes watery. “Everyone I’ve pulled before now won’t talk to me anymore.” He sobbed, burying his face in his paws. “And now- even fate says no one is meant for me! Waaaahhh-” He ran off, crying.”
“I feel sorry for him,” Kecoo said sympathetically, looking sadly in the direction Ninetails had run off in.
“How old are you again?” Kecleon asked suddenly, chewing on the apple from earlier. There was a strange look in his eyes.
“Um, thirty five?” Kecoo said, confused.
“Hmmm,a few hundred, huh... it could work.” Kecleon noticed Kecoo staring at him. “Don’t worry about it, anyway, follow me.”
♫ this is the manic monday appreciation divider ♫
Spinda’s cafe was bustling at the turn of the hour, the underground space thronging with townsfolk and rescue teams winding down for the day. Kecleon strode up to the counter, Kecoo following close behind him.
“Still running this bar by yourself?” Kecleon asked Spinda. “I would have gone insane.”
“Wynaut helps out sometimes!” Spinda said, shaking a drink. “But he has a tendency to try and sell pokemon surprise drinks. He really makes a hit every once and awhile. I’d rather not take the chance though- the flip side of that coin is not good for my health.”
Kecleon nodded. “Sounds like you have your hands full.” He slid a pouch of poke across the counter. “Now, I have an odd request. Then I’d like two drinks, one for myself, and one for the fellow over there.” He pointed with one claw.
On the other side of the cafe, Ninetails was glumly staring at his empty glass, sitting alone. “I am a messenger of fate, and thus I am excluded from destiny,” he said quietly.
“Oh? How can you be sure of that?” Kecleon sidled up to Ninetails, sitting next to him. He placed a glass in front of Ninetails before taking a drink of his own. “Hey there. I saw what happened earlier, I’m sorry that had to happen to you.
Ninetails managed a small smile. “Thank you for your concern, Kecleon. Your cousins back where I come from would be happy to know one of their number is so thoughtful.”
“Mmm, yeah. What is is what is,” Kecleon said, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Kecoo, who was sitting at another table. “Don’t you think it’s too early to give up on the universe?” He took a deep drink of his juice again and sighed contentedly, “Maybe that juice will make you feel a bit better.”
“I suppose it will,” Ninetails said, taking a swig of his own cup. Watching him carefully, Kecleon beckoned for Kecoo to come over.
“And you know- you never know where you might find a sign,” Kecleon said, nodding to Kecoo as he sat down. “It could be right in front of you.”
As Ninetails finished his drink, he froze, staring at the bottom of his glass. His mouth hung slightly open.
Kecleon turned to Kecoo. “Hey! Nice of you to join us, Kecoo.” He put his arm around the younger Kecleon. “This is my nephew, Kecoo! He’s in training for the family business of course.”
“Kecoo...” Ninetails looked up at the orange Kecleon, quivering slightly. “How do you do, Kecoo?”
“Huh? Oh, er, I’m doing great! What about you?” Kecoo smiled.
“I’m... I’m doing fine too,” Ninetails said shyly.
At the bar, Spinda stared at them, horrified.
♪ If you appreciated Manic Monday in the last divider, collect $200 ♪
“Seriously?” Spinda couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. “You know, you don’t have to pay me to scratch a message on the bottom of my cups. I get enough of them as is.”
“Consider it a business transaction,” Kecleon said thoughtfully. The bar was mostly empty now, the last few stragglers finishing their orders. “What kind of profit margin do you think I could make on fortune telling?”
Spinda took a moment to process his remark. “Really? That’s your angle? You really are greedy, you know that?”
“It’s not like we’d treat him like a slave or something,” Kecleon protested, “He’d be like a king, and I’d be... well, his manager!”
“And you’re assuming Kecoo will go along with this?” Spinda asked.
“I’ve been beating the business into his head since day one!” Kecleon declared confidently, “He’ll figure out what the plan is soon enough.”
“Wow... you’re really something else,” Spinda said dryly, “I’ll be sure to prepare a special blend for when you fall on your face. I’ll call it the Ultimate Loser Smoothie.”
Kecleon grinned. “I appreciate the vote of confidence. But I won’t be too upset if it doesn’t work. I saw an opportunity, and I went for it. That’s what making money is all about!”
“Sure thing,” Spinda replied, “If you like risks, then why don’t we bet on it before you go.”
==========
“Do you know how much Flash sells for overseas?” The purple Kecleon waved a disc at his brother. “I think we can corner a niche market if we go for it.”
“Forget chump change,” Kecleon said, leaning back in his seat. “I’ve got something coming that’ll make us the toast of the annual K-gala.”
“Really now? Let’s hear it,” Kecleon-P said, intrigued, “By the way, have you seen Kecoo recently? He’s blown off his shift with me for two weeks now.”
“Ahh, I wonder,” Kecleon said, hiding a smile.
“Uncle! I have something to say.”
Both Kecleons looked up in shock as Kecoo emerged from the bushes, followed by Ninetails. The two of them looked ragged, but neither seemed exhausted. Instead the two looked exhilarated.
“Kecoo! What happened to you?” Kecleon-P said, “Where have you been?”
“Me and Ninetails have been surviving in the wilderness,” Kecoo said, staring disdainfully at the two. “We figured out your plan, and we won’t participate in it anymore.”
Kecleon-P looked at Kecleon. “Do you know what he’s talking about?”
Kecleon grit his teeth. “Kecoo! What are you talking about?” he asked irritatedly.
Kecoo scoffed. “You wanted me and Ninetails to become partners so you could use him as a fortune cookie dispenser!”
“One part of his plan succeeded,” Ninetails said quietly from behind Kecoo.
“Eh?” Kecleon blanched, “Kecoo... what are you going to do?”
“I’m leaving you guys, and becoming an independent Kecleon,” Kecoo said, “Me and Ninetails are going to start our own fortune telling business.”
“Ack!” Kecleon fell off his chair, Kecleon-P looking between him and Kecoo in confusion.
“Well- good luck to you Kecoo!” Kecleon-P said, “I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but a Kecleon setting out on his own is usually a sign that he has surpassed his teachers.”
“Thanks,” Kecoo said, nodding at Kecleon-P. “I don’t hate you uncle, but I resent you using me.” He turned, Ninetails following close behind. “I’ll see you at the next family dinner.”
As the two walked away, Kecleon-P helped Kecleon back to his feet. “You’re going to have to tell me this one from the beginning,” he said.
“Yeah, you’ll like this one,” Kecleon said in defeat, sighing, “Oh well. Guess I owe Spinda some money.” He laughed. “Cut out of my own deal, imagine that.”
=======
“Hey, Kecoo, do you really want to start a fortune telling business?” Ninetails looked at the Kecleon. “I mean- I don’t mind or anything!”
“No, I just wanted to rub it in his face,” Kecoo said thoughtfully. The two leaned against each other, watching the sunset. “I’m fine just hanging out with you.”
Ninetails nodded. “I guess fate really wasn’t looking out for me,” he said, “It’s hard to believe your uncle planned this whole thing out.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure,” Kecoo replied, “I don’t know how he thought we would get together after his little matchmaker prank, but maybe fate had a hand in it, don’t you think?”
Ninetails was silent for a moment. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. “You’re right. Maybe this was fate.”
“Well, I’ve kind of exiled myself from the family business now,” Kecoo said, standing up. “What should we do now?”
“How about forming an exploration team?” Ninetails suggested.
Kecoo looked at Ninetails. “Aren’t you like hundreds of years old? Haven’t you seen everything in the world?”
Ninetails laughed. “It takes a lot longer than that to really see the whole thing. Maybe if it were the whirlwind sightseeing tour though.”
Kecoo smiled back at Ninetails. “That makes sense. We’ll start tomorrow then, partner!”
Authors notational:
This one kind of came out of nowhere, lol. If it weren’t for a short short story bingo, I’d have spent forever on adding stuff. At least this is a good opportunity to force myself to hold back a little!
Prompt 3: Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now (Wilderness Trials)
Donny slammed a can of lemonade, finishing the drink in seconds. “Hey Becca, have you heard of the term, microdosing?”
Not looking up from her magazine, Becca waved a hand in the air. “Something about Victreebel.”
“No, not that,” Donny replied, shaking his head, “It’s-”
The sliding doors opened and a group of obvious tourists entered. Donny sat straight up, while Becca lowered her magazine only barely to look at them.
“Welcome to the Fuchsia safari zone,” Donny bellowed, “How can we help you today?”
“Oh, we just wanted to catch some pokemon,” an older woman said, smiling, “How do we go about doing that?”
“Well, there are a few different options available,” Donny explained. As he spoke, Becca caught the attention of another guest and started talking to him.
“What options are they?” the woman asked innocently.
Donny took a breath.
“Alright! First, I just want to explain a little about what we do here. So as you might have heard, Fuchsia safari is a relatively new incarnation of the older safari that used to be here. We are an all natural pokemon habitat that is maintained by top of the line environmental care and all our pokemon are born and raised within 50 miles of this building. Our company is family owned and operated, and we like to think of our experience as similar to a backyard exploration. We have a few different options for wilderness trials that we offer. To get you started, we can set you up with a no-obligation trial safari for 17, and if you like it, we can set it to continue from there. Usually, for small groups like yourself, we recommend either the monthly or bi-monthly package, for 35 per person, per safari. With this package, you get unlimited access to the safari, one day every week, for a monthly total of $140 or $175 depending on how many weeks there are in a month. If you would like, we also offer guided safari tours for 40 per person. These are more involved tours where you will learn about the pokemon that live here in depth. All of our guides have college degrees and can teach anyone of any age. For beginners, we like to start them off with weekly safari visits because we want the safari to be something fun, sometimes if people come too much in a week, the experience isn’t as thrilling, so once a week allows you a healthy balance of discovery and pokemon catching. All of our safari balls are made in house, and operate at an equivalent efficiency of a luxury ball, but are also made out of sustainable materials! We also offer- huh?”
The group was gone. Donny looked at Becca.
“They just wanted to catch some pokemon, so I sold them a day pass,” she said idly, “They stuck around for more of it than usual though.”
“Alright, if that’s what they want to do,” Donny said, “You know we have to give the spiel though- or the Spheal, whatever.”
“You keep doing that,” Becca replied.
Author note
Do you feel the sales pitch flowing through your veins? Can you envision the person on the other end of the phone tuning you out at the second word? Then this product is for you!
Woe be upon ye
So here’s almost 4000 words of bingo
Oh noooooooo
Handy Guide!
Square 1 : National Geographic actually didn’t want to film this one (When Miltank Fly)
CW: Drug abuse and unsettling implied actions
At three forty in the afternoon, the line at the Ecruteak international airport was backed up through the terminal, a few feet from snaking out the front door. The head of security, Landon, was forced to round up a crew of janitors and employees from the fast food restaurants in the terminal to buoy the flagging crew of baggage checkers who had been going through every piece of luggage by hand.
Standing in front of the horde of passengers, he felt anger, understanding, and confusion in equal measure. He turned to his team with a grim expression.
“As you have seen, we have to search all luggage by ourselves now because Lugnut has to recover,” he said, stealing a glance at the Luxray lying face down under a bench. “He pushed himself a bit hard today. By chance, do any of you have any pokemon that can see through solid objects?”
“I have a Shuppet,” one woman offered, shaking out her uniform. The coffee shop was one of the closest stores to the security line, and Landon had pulled her from behind the counter so fast that she was still holding a half made latte. “She can’t see through things, but she can go through them,” she added.
Landon thought about it. “That should be fine,” he concluded, nodding at her. “As long as it only goes in suitcases and backpacks. Ghosts can affect pacemakers, believe it or not.”
A few of the assembled conscripts paled, whispering amongst themselves.
“Hurry up over there, chief!” Landon looked over to see one of his men struggling with an older man. “Yes, your pokemon need identification too sir,” the man said, briefly waving at Landon. “- no- no we don’t do that here, you have to go to a post office.”
“Alright, get to it,” Landon said, directing the bewildered group to stations. “Just use your best judgement, and if you need help, just look at the sign!”
The sign on the wall was printed in extremely large text, accompanied by detailed pictures. It was impossible to miss in the line unless you were closing your eyes.
No outside food
No Electirizers
No weapons
No salac berries
“Hey, um, sir?” An employee from the duty-free store approached Landon. “What is an electirizer?”
Landon shook his head. “Think of it like a leaky battery. It can release electricity that can damage the sensors of a plane. If you see one, throw it in the trash.”
As the man nodded and hurried away, the coffee shop woman came by. “Can you help me here, Landon?”
“Sure.” Following her, Landon came to a line where a man was angrily shielding a Miltank from a Shuppet that was looking at the Miltank strangely.
The man seized upon Landon with a wild expression. “Are you in charge around here? You call these incompetent idiots staff?”
Coffee woman rolled her eyes. “Virmy accidently phased through the Miltank and now she won’t leave it alone. His bags were fine though.”
“Couldn’t you just return her to her ball?” Landon asked, frowning as the man gestured wildly as if to say ‘right?’
“She doesn’t usually do stuff like that?” Coffee woman replied, shrugging, “I just thought it was weird, so I just wanted to ask you.”
Landon was about to reply when he looked at the Miltank again. He stopped short before speaking. “I’m sorry sir, but could you and your Miltank follow me?”
:=
“Do you have anything illegal in your bag that you would like to tell me about before I search?” Landon said in a dry tone.
“No, nothing,” the man replied, his eyes flickering to Miltank before he scowled. “Gonna be late for my fucking flight, you know?”
“I understand, but this is procedure,” Landon said, putting on a pair of gloves. He turned to Coffee woman and Virmy, who had followed him awkwardly. “You two watch the Miltank, okay?”
“Don’t touch Gorky, woman!” the man said loudly. Landon glared at him and he shrunk in his seat. “I mean... just don’t hurt her or anything, she’s the best Miltank I’ve got.”
“So you own a farm?” Landon said idly, flipping through a pocket sized book he pulled out of the man’s luggage. “Where are you headed today?”
The man stared at his luggage, not meeting Landon’s gaze. “I was heading to Floccesy. I have- I have a cousin out there. I was going to help him with his farm.”
Landon hummed. “Alright. Why’s your ticket for Castellia then? Kind of far away, isn’t it?”
“I was going to visit a friend and then take a ship over,” the man replied quickly, “Just a visit, you know?”
“Mmmm, it says here you booked a return ticket for four days after you arrive.” Landon’s tone was even as he started packing odds and ends back in the bag. “You won’t have much time to help your cousin, will you?”
“He doesn’t need that much help,” the man muttered.
“Sir, are you transporting anything illegal?” Landon asked.
The man shook his head, balling his hands up. “No, you just looked through my bag.”
“Well, just to be safe-” Landon produced a q-tip, sweeping it inside the bag. When he removed it, there was a noticeable green tinge. “There’s some residue here. Do you know what that is, sir?”
The man shook his head again. Nearby, Coffee woman noticed the Miltank shifting from side to side, looking distressed.
“We have to test this, alright?” Landon walked over to a nearby cabinet, pulling out a small container. “If this turns blue, then it’s positive for salac powder. Do you understand?”
“I don’t know why there’s green in my bag,” the man protested, “I always leave my bag open a little, you know? Someone must have dropped something in it. I’m clumsy like that.”
“I understand,” Landon said, not really paying attention to the man.
As he loosed a droplet of liquid onto the green powder at the bottom of the tube, he closed it tight, shaking it. Holding it in the air for everyone to see, he pointed at the blue foam in the tube.
“It’s blue. That means you have salac powder.”
“That’s the party drug, right?” Coffee woman asked from nearby.
“The same,” Landon replied, “Why is this in your bag sir? Do you have any more of it?”
“I don’t know,” the man said feebly,” It’s not mine, I don’t know how it got in there.”
Landon sighed, looking at Coffee woman. “You really did find the worst one today.” He looked at the Miltank. “Go find a bucket, please.”
:=
The arrival of the police had made the already overflowing line into a veritable free for all. Someone had started selling alcohol to people stuck in the line and the air was filled with raucous singing from the more inebriated passengers. A cheer went up through the line as the police lead the man from earlier out in cuffs, while a team of medics attended to a sickly looking Miltank and an exhausted Luxray. Landon sat on the floor, his face in his hands.
Coffee woman was back at the shop, regaling her coworkers and the customers with the events of the past hour, much to their delight. The Shuppet, Virmy was next to her, smiling broadly.
“-we had to milk it all out!” she said loudly, the crowd bursting into laughter.
Landon shook his head, feeling sorry for the Miltank. “I wish Miltank could fly,” he said to himself. “It would have saved us a lot of trouble.”
Note of the author
Si es azul es cocaína - quote from the world famous tv show, To Catch a Smuggler
That’s literally the premise that appeared before me, and I was forced at knifepoint (held by my other hand) to write this
Prompt 2: The Hot Singles are coming from inside the House (Partner)
Kecleon held up an apple larger than his head. “How much?”
The orange Kecleon next to him studied the apple intently. “70?” he asked hopefully.
“Too slow!” Kecleon threw the apple at his head. “And too low!”
The younger Kecleon rubbed his head where he had been hit. “Was I at least right?” he pouted.
“Doesn’t matter- real merchants never sell at market value,” the older Kecleon chided, “You still have a long way to go before you can earn the family name, Kecoo.”
Kecoo was about to reply when he was distracted by shouting nearby.
“Xaaattuuuuuu~”
A little ways away from the Kecleon stand, at Xatu’s treasure appraisal, a Ninetails placed a box in front of Xatu with an unnaturally large grin. “I found another amazing treasure!” he said.
Kecoo grimaced. “It’s Ninetails again.” He turned to Kecleon. “Why does he keep coming around, big bro?”
Kecleon shrugged, leaning on the counter. “Beats me. If I could tell the future, I’d make a house out of the poke I’d make from it. I heard he lives on top of a great mountain in another continent, but recently, he’s lost it.”
“Lost what?” Kecoo stared at Ninetails strangely.
“Just watch,” Kecleon replied, “You’ll get a bonus lesson in how to deal with strange customers.”
From behind a curtain in his shop, Xatu appeared. His eyes widened for a second when he saw Ninetails, but he just as quickly assumed a neutral expression. “Ninetails... you have returned.”
“That’s right!” Ninetails said, heaving the chest onto the counter. “I found this legendary treasure at the bottom of a black trench where no sunlight reaches.”
“If I may hazard a guess, does it contain 100 strips of paper with the names of anyone you’ve deemed eminently compatible with yourself?” Xatu asked, staring at the box.
“Wow, that’s a great guess!” Ninetails said happily, “There’s actually 150 names!”
“Oh... there’s more now,” Xatu mumbled, looking pained.
Kecoo made a face. “What kind of treasure is that?”
“Ah, it’s difficult to explain,” Kecleon said, “From what I’ve heard, Ninetails can see a lot of the future, but he can’t quite see his own. And just recently, this has ignited something of a midlife crisis in him.”
Kecoo studied the Ninetails. “A crisis?”
“He’s convinced that since he can’t see his own future, that he has no right to decide it,” Kecleon said, smirking, “This is his way of searching for companionship, a partner of fate if you would.”
“Oh- I uh, don’t really get it, but okay!” Kecoo nodded. “So the box has the names of pokemon he’ll be friends with?”
“I guess that’s what he thinks,” Kecleon murmured, “I looked at the scraps last time. Almost everyone in town is in there, as well as a ton of pokemon I don’t know. My name was in there too, and I shudder to think what would happen if he pulled it.”
“It can’t be that bad,” Kecoo replied, “What does he do when-”
“AUGH, NOOOOOOOOOO!”
Ninetail’s screams echoed through the plaza, Kecoo jumping in fright, while Kecleon scowled.
“How could this happen?” Ninetails said, distraught, “A blank piece?”
“Maybe... this too is... faaaate-” Xatu managed, before falling backwards, unconscious.
Ninetails sat on his hind legs, his eyes watery. “Everyone I’ve pulled before now won’t talk to me anymore.” He sobbed, burying his face in his paws. “And now- even fate says no one is meant for me! Waaaahhh-” He ran off, crying.”
“I feel sorry for him,” Kecoo said sympathetically, looking sadly in the direction Ninetails had run off in.
“How old are you again?” Kecleon asked suddenly, chewing on the apple from earlier. There was a strange look in his eyes.
“Um, thirty five?” Kecoo said, confused.
“Hmmm,a few hundred, huh... it could work.” Kecleon noticed Kecoo staring at him. “Don’t worry about it, anyway, follow me.”
♫ this is the manic monday appreciation divider ♫
Spinda’s cafe was bustling at the turn of the hour, the underground space thronging with townsfolk and rescue teams winding down for the day. Kecleon strode up to the counter, Kecoo following close behind him.
“Still running this bar by yourself?” Kecleon asked Spinda. “I would have gone insane.”
“Wynaut helps out sometimes!” Spinda said, shaking a drink. “But he has a tendency to try and sell pokemon surprise drinks. He really makes a hit every once and awhile. I’d rather not take the chance though- the flip side of that coin is not good for my health.”
Kecleon nodded. “Sounds like you have your hands full.” He slid a pouch of poke across the counter. “Now, I have an odd request. Then I’d like two drinks, one for myself, and one for the fellow over there.” He pointed with one claw.
On the other side of the cafe, Ninetails was glumly staring at his empty glass, sitting alone. “I am a messenger of fate, and thus I am excluded from destiny,” he said quietly.
“Oh? How can you be sure of that?” Kecleon sidled up to Ninetails, sitting next to him. He placed a glass in front of Ninetails before taking a drink of his own. “Hey there. I saw what happened earlier, I’m sorry that had to happen to you.
Ninetails managed a small smile. “Thank you for your concern, Kecleon. Your cousins back where I come from would be happy to know one of their number is so thoughtful.”
“Mmm, yeah. What is is what is,” Kecleon said, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Kecoo, who was sitting at another table. “Don’t you think it’s too early to give up on the universe?” He took a deep drink of his juice again and sighed contentedly, “Maybe that juice will make you feel a bit better.”
“I suppose it will,” Ninetails said, taking a swig of his own cup. Watching him carefully, Kecleon beckoned for Kecoo to come over.
“And you know- you never know where you might find a sign,” Kecleon said, nodding to Kecoo as he sat down. “It could be right in front of you.”
As Ninetails finished his drink, he froze, staring at the bottom of his glass. His mouth hung slightly open.
Kecleon turned to Kecoo. “Hey! Nice of you to join us, Kecoo.” He put his arm around the younger Kecleon. “This is my nephew, Kecoo! He’s in training for the family business of course.”
“Kecoo...” Ninetails looked up at the orange Kecleon, quivering slightly. “How do you do, Kecoo?”
“Huh? Oh, er, I’m doing great! What about you?” Kecoo smiled.
“I’m... I’m doing fine too,” Ninetails said shyly.
At the bar, Spinda stared at them, horrified.
♪ If you appreciated Manic Monday in the last divider, collect $200 ♪
“Seriously?” Spinda couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. “You know, you don’t have to pay me to scratch a message on the bottom of my cups. I get enough of them as is.”
“Consider it a business transaction,” Kecleon said thoughtfully. The bar was mostly empty now, the last few stragglers finishing their orders. “What kind of profit margin do you think I could make on fortune telling?”
Spinda took a moment to process his remark. “Really? That’s your angle? You really are greedy, you know that?”
“It’s not like we’d treat him like a slave or something,” Kecleon protested, “He’d be like a king, and I’d be... well, his manager!”
“And you’re assuming Kecoo will go along with this?” Spinda asked.
“I’ve been beating the business into his head since day one!” Kecleon declared confidently, “He’ll figure out what the plan is soon enough.”
“Wow... you’re really something else,” Spinda said dryly, “I’ll be sure to prepare a special blend for when you fall on your face. I’ll call it the Ultimate Loser Smoothie.”
Kecleon grinned. “I appreciate the vote of confidence. But I won’t be too upset if it doesn’t work. I saw an opportunity, and I went for it. That’s what making money is all about!”
“Sure thing,” Spinda replied, “If you like risks, then why don’t we bet on it before you go.”
==========
“Do you know how much Flash sells for overseas?” The purple Kecleon waved a disc at his brother. “I think we can corner a niche market if we go for it.”
“Forget chump change,” Kecleon said, leaning back in his seat. “I’ve got something coming that’ll make us the toast of the annual K-gala.”
“Really now? Let’s hear it,” Kecleon-P said, intrigued, “By the way, have you seen Kecoo recently? He’s blown off his shift with me for two weeks now.”
“Ahh, I wonder,” Kecleon said, hiding a smile.
“Uncle! I have something to say.”
Both Kecleons looked up in shock as Kecoo emerged from the bushes, followed by Ninetails. The two of them looked ragged, but neither seemed exhausted. Instead the two looked exhilarated.
“Kecoo! What happened to you?” Kecleon-P said, “Where have you been?”
“Me and Ninetails have been surviving in the wilderness,” Kecoo said, staring disdainfully at the two. “We figured out your plan, and we won’t participate in it anymore.”
Kecleon-P looked at Kecleon. “Do you know what he’s talking about?”
Kecleon grit his teeth. “Kecoo! What are you talking about?” he asked irritatedly.
Kecoo scoffed. “You wanted me and Ninetails to become partners so you could use him as a fortune cookie dispenser!”
“One part of his plan succeeded,” Ninetails said quietly from behind Kecoo.
“Eh?” Kecleon blanched, “Kecoo... what are you going to do?”
“I’m leaving you guys, and becoming an independent Kecleon,” Kecoo said, “Me and Ninetails are going to start our own fortune telling business.”
“Ack!” Kecleon fell off his chair, Kecleon-P looking between him and Kecoo in confusion.
“Well- good luck to you Kecoo!” Kecleon-P said, “I’m not quite sure what’s going on, but a Kecleon setting out on his own is usually a sign that he has surpassed his teachers.”
“Thanks,” Kecoo said, nodding at Kecleon-P. “I don’t hate you uncle, but I resent you using me.” He turned, Ninetails following close behind. “I’ll see you at the next family dinner.”
As the two walked away, Kecleon-P helped Kecleon back to his feet. “You’re going to have to tell me this one from the beginning,” he said.
“Yeah, you’ll like this one,” Kecleon said in defeat, sighing, “Oh well. Guess I owe Spinda some money.” He laughed. “Cut out of my own deal, imagine that.”
=======
“Hey, Kecoo, do you really want to start a fortune telling business?” Ninetails looked at the Kecleon. “I mean- I don’t mind or anything!”
“No, I just wanted to rub it in his face,” Kecoo said thoughtfully. The two leaned against each other, watching the sunset. “I’m fine just hanging out with you.”
Ninetails nodded. “I guess fate really wasn’t looking out for me,” he said, “It’s hard to believe your uncle planned this whole thing out.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure,” Kecoo replied, “I don’t know how he thought we would get together after his little matchmaker prank, but maybe fate had a hand in it, don’t you think?”
Ninetails was silent for a moment. Slowly, a smile spread across his face. “You’re right. Maybe this was fate.”
“Well, I’ve kind of exiled myself from the family business now,” Kecoo said, standing up. “What should we do now?”
“How about forming an exploration team?” Ninetails suggested.
Kecoo looked at Ninetails. “Aren’t you like hundreds of years old? Haven’t you seen everything in the world?”
Ninetails laughed. “It takes a lot longer than that to really see the whole thing. Maybe if it were the whirlwind sightseeing tour though.”
Kecoo smiled back at Ninetails. “That makes sense. We’ll start tomorrow then, partner!”
Authors notational:
This one kind of came out of nowhere, lol. If it weren’t for a short short story bingo, I’d have spent forever on adding stuff. At least this is a good opportunity to force myself to hold back a little!
Prompt 3: Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now Buy now (Wilderness Trials)
Donny slammed a can of lemonade, finishing the drink in seconds. “Hey Becca, have you heard of the term, microdosing?”
Not looking up from her magazine, Becca waved a hand in the air. “Something about Victreebel.”
“No, not that,” Donny replied, shaking his head, “It’s-”
The sliding doors opened and a group of obvious tourists entered. Donny sat straight up, while Becca lowered her magazine only barely to look at them.
“Welcome to the Fuchsia safari zone,” Donny bellowed, “How can we help you today?”
“Oh, we just wanted to catch some pokemon,” an older woman said, smiling, “How do we go about doing that?”
“Well, there are a few different options available,” Donny explained. As he spoke, Becca caught the attention of another guest and started talking to him.
“What options are they?” the woman asked innocently.
Donny took a breath.
“Alright! First, I just want to explain a little about what we do here. So as you might have heard, Fuchsia safari is a relatively new incarnation of the older safari that used to be here. We are an all natural pokemon habitat that is maintained by top of the line environmental care and all our pokemon are born and raised within 50 miles of this building. Our company is family owned and operated, and we like to think of our experience as similar to a backyard exploration. We have a few different options for wilderness trials that we offer. To get you started, we can set you up with a no-obligation trial safari for 17, and if you like it, we can set it to continue from there. Usually, for small groups like yourself, we recommend either the monthly or bi-monthly package, for 35 per person, per safari. With this package, you get unlimited access to the safari, one day every week, for a monthly total of $140 or $175 depending on how many weeks there are in a month. If you would like, we also offer guided safari tours for 40 per person. These are more involved tours where you will learn about the pokemon that live here in depth. All of our guides have college degrees and can teach anyone of any age. For beginners, we like to start them off with weekly safari visits because we want the safari to be something fun, sometimes if people come too much in a week, the experience isn’t as thrilling, so once a week allows you a healthy balance of discovery and pokemon catching. All of our safari balls are made in house, and operate at an equivalent efficiency of a luxury ball, but are also made out of sustainable materials! We also offer- huh?”
The group was gone. Donny looked at Becca.
“They just wanted to catch some pokemon, so I sold them a day pass,” she said idly, “They stuck around for more of it than usual though.”
“Alright, if that’s what they want to do,” Donny said, “You know we have to give the spiel though- or the Spheal, whatever.”
“You keep doing that,” Becca replied.
Author note
Do you feel the sales pitch flowing through your veins? Can you envision the person on the other end of the phone tuning you out at the second word? Then this product is for you!
Woe be upon ye