Pokémon Seeking Chivalry

[windskull]

Every year on their birthdays, adolescent farfetch'd bury their leeks in the ground and pray the forest goddess Celebi will cause it to magically grow overnight, allowing them to evolve. One farfetch'd has been passed over two years in a row, and this year he's determined to make sure he isn't left behind again.​

Hi everyone! This is the prize oneshot for @kyeugh for this year's blitz! It's been over a month in the works, and I hope you enjoy it!
CW: Canon-typical violence

Seeking Chivlary​

The forest was calm tonight. From the distance came the serene song of kricketot, and the wingbeats of a noctowl as it swooped past from just above the treeline. But otherwise there was little more than the soft rustling of leaves in the wind.

Upon a sturdy branch, a farfetch’d shuffled from foot to foot, keeping his eyes glued to a patch of recently upturned dirt in a moon bleached clearing below. He ruffled his feathers in hopes of staving off the chilly wind, but he dared not move. Tonight was too important.

A loud caw sounded somewhere nearby, followed by a chorus of quieter cawing. The tell-tale sign of a honchkrow and their cronies made the farfetch’d freeze. Please, not now, he thought. The last thing he needed was a fight with the local flock. He anxiously preened at the joint between his right wing and his body, where he’d normally keep his leek carefully tucked away. Normally. Yet, it was conspicuously absent.

Wingbeats in the distance signalled that the murkrow flock was on the move, thankfully flying away. With them gone, he relaxed slightly and turned his attention back to the upturned dirt. Then he shook his head, looked away, then looked again.

The scene in the clearing had changed.

His heart fluttered as an orb of light flew towards the patch of dirt at a leisurely pace, bobbing through the air as if it had no care in the world. The farfetch’d held his breath, waiting, hoping as the light faded, revealing just who he hoped to see: Celebi.

Celebi drew close to the patch of dirt, holding out a hand. She let out a contemplative hum, psychic energy dancing over her fingertips.

Please, the farfetch’d mentally cried. I’ve waited so long for this.

But to his dismay, Celebi shook her head, raising up from her position over the dirt. She paused, then turned her head to stare directly at the farfetch’d. The faintest of smiles danced on her face. The expression threatened to crack his heart in two: pity.

“I know you’re watching me,” Celebi said, thought she did not speak out loud. Rather, the Voice of the Forest echoed directly in the farfetch’d’s head. “Sorry. Maybe next year.”

For a moment, he was frozen, dismayed. Then he found his nerves and dove from the tree, landing with a glide just beside the dirt. His beak worked fast, digging at the dirt while Celebi looked on with that same, pitying look.

Soon, he’d unearthed the leek. His leek. Small, and exactly as he’d left it. Exactly as it had always been.

“Why?” He asked Celebi, his voice wavering, cracking. “For three years now, every hatchday, I’ve buried my leek, hoping you’d make it grow. And three years, you’ve passed me over. Why?”

Celebi stared down at the young farfetch’d, still with that pitying expression. She was silent for some time, and for a moment, the farfetch’d thought she’d say nothing at all. But then the voice returned to his head.

“Young one, I see all of time stretched out before me. And through your leek, I see your story. With evolution comes responsibility. Responsibility that requires maturity. But your story tells me this isn’t your time. Rest for now. Train. Learn more about the world. And perhaps next year, you will be ready.”

The farfetch’d balked. “But I— surely there must be something I can do to prove myself to you?”

Celebi shook her head, and replied in a gentle voice, “I understand your desire, young one. But my say is final. Don’t worry. You will get your chance.”

He opened his beak to protest. But before he could make a sound, Celebi was engulfed in a ball of light, then zipped away into the forest.

Farfetch’d stood still for some time, staring first at the spot where Celebi had zipped away, then down at his leek. It wasn’t fair. He’d been waiting for so long already. Most of the farfetch’d his age had already made it through this rite of passage, so why couldn’t he? Why did he have to be left behind?

He let out a frustrated cry, kicked at the dirt, then turned around and stalked off, not even bothering to pick up his leek. He could get it in the morning, when he would hopefully feel less horrible.

He started towards home, only to veer off the path along the way. At the moment, he felt too restless to settle down, let alone sleep. His heart thrummed aggressively against his chest, and his body felt like he’d been in an intense fight. But perhaps a walk would help cool his head.

In his current state, it was easy to ignore the sounds of nocturnal pokemon going about their business. And for a while he was content to let it be little more than background noise. Until a nearby, heckling caw shook him out of his thoughts.

Honchkrow’s gang was nearby. In his half-aware state, he’d wandered close to their territory. Letting out a sigh, the farfetched shook his head and turned to stalk away.

“L-leave me alone! Please!”

A young, panicked voice made Farfetch’d freeze. The voice was followed by more of those incessant, jeering caws

“Sorry kid, no can do. Boss doesn’t take lightly to trespassers,” one said.

“Yeah, no trespassers!” a second echoed.

Farfetch’d wanted to just ignore it and move on. Where there were two murkrow, there were sure to be dozens more. But that first voice. That was a child. He.. he couldn’t ignore a child.

He took a few seconds to mentally prepare himself, then spun and charged towards the voices.

The undergrowth parted, opening into a small clearing. Two murkrow stood on either side of a young, trembling oddish, their feathers ruffled to appear bigger. A sweet scent permeated the air, likely the only defense the child could think to do.

Something hot flared up inside of Farfetch’d, a righteous fury, perhaps. Without hesitation, Farfetch’d charged forward, letting out an angry squawk, and shoved one of the murkrow aside. He gave the other one an intense leer, positioning himself between it and the oddish.

“Leave the kid alone,” he demanded, positioning himself to strike.

For a moment, the murkrow looked alarmed, as if he hadn’t thought he would ever receive any sort of resistance. Then his gaze hardened and he leered right back.

“What, you think you can make us?”

“I’d like to see him try!” the second murkrow said, beating his wings together. Farfetch’d glanced back in time to see a thick, dark haze billow out from around the murkrow. It took to the air, making tight loops and hastening the miasma’s spread.

Something hard jabbed Farfetch’d in the chest. He turned back, face to face with the first murkrow, who pecked him in the chest again. He let out an enraged quack and beat his wings against the bird, driving it away. Then he retaliated with several furious jabs of his own. His attack was relentless, jabbing again and again, driving the murkrow backwards.

A heavy blow to his back sent him tumbling forward. The second murkrow was hovering over him now, wings beating against him as it tried to regain its altitude. But at least they were both occupied with him now.

“Kid! Run” Farfetch’d cried out, hoping there were no other murkrow around. Then he rolled to the side, just barely avoiding another peck to the chest, and took to the air. His body took on a soft, white glow, and he banked before diving back towards the aerial murkrow, slamming into it with all the force he could muster.

He began to tumble through the air, locked into a tangle of feathers with the murkrow. As he spun, he caught sight of the fleeing oddish, and the other murkrow chasing him

No! With a final shove, he broke away from the melee and began flying towards the other murkrow, his body lighting up again. This time, he slammed his target into the ground, rolling to a stop not far away.

The oddish, panicked, had stopped running. He forced himself back to his feet, then ran towards it. “Keep going!” He called out, pushing it into the undergrowth. “Gotta lose them!”

For just a heartbeat longer, the oddish hesitated. Then they were both running, ducking from bush to bush in the darkness as they fled further and further away from the murkrow.

Farfetch’d kept shooting looks over his shoulder, but soon, the sound of their pursuers was left behind. Only then did he relax.

“I think… we’re safe…” He took a moment to catch his breath. “Are you… okay?”

“‘M fine…” the oddish mumbled, before adding, “thank you. I’ll get home from here”

Farfetch’d’s heart rate was returning to normal. He let out a long breath and hesitated. “Well, if you’re sure...”

“Mhmmm” The oddish bowed as best as an oddish could bow, then turned and hurried into the bushes. Farfetched waited for just a moment longer, then left as well. Now that he’d calmed down, he realized how foolish it had been to leave his leek behind, and he was beginning to feel unprotected without it - even if he had held his own well enough. With that in mind, he decided it would be good to return for it before… trying to sleep.

---

The clearing was not just as he left it. Sure, his leek was right where he had abandoned it. But there was something different now. Someone, rather. Floating above the patch of dirt, wreathed in a gentle light, was Celebi.

Fafetch’d hurried across the clearing, coming to a stop below Celebi. He locked eyes with her for a moment. Then his gaze traveled to the ground, and his beak fell open.

Laying on the ground was his leek. But it wasn’t the same as before. It was bigger, sturdier.

“Great Celebi, what-”

Celebi held up a hand to silence him. “The path of a sirfetch’d is the path of chivalry. Honor, courage, willingness to protect the weak, even at the cost of your own safety.” She paused to gesture to Farfetch’d’s chest, where a bruise was starting to form. “When I looked at your leek, I could see your life laid out before you, and all the branches you could take. And I realized that this lesson could change the course of your life. So I waited, hoping that in doing so, you would make the right decision tonight.”

Farfetch’d was quiet, letting Celebi’s words sink in. Slowly, he reached down to pick up his leek, testing its weight. “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

Celebi hummed and reached down to give the farfetch’d a quick pat on the head. Then she began to rise. “Now, I must be off. I have many other things to do.”

Once again, Celebi became enveloped in brilliant light. Then she zipped away, leaving the farfetch’d alone.

He stood silent in the field for some time. But eventually, he began to walk towards home, holding his leek in both wings. There was a spring in his step as he walked, and he let out a cheerful hum. He had gotten the leek he so coveted, met Celebi, and helped someone as well. And after all this, he knew he would remember this night for the rest of his life.

What an eventful hatch day.

 

[Adamhuarts]

So, I decided to check this one out because you recommended it once for having an onion fairy in it. And as you know me, I do like some onion fairies and always interested to see other people's approaches to the onion.

So, this story was overall short and simple, and it caps it all off with a meaningful and valuable message. I loved how you depicted onion as a forest guardian who acts like a sage or patron to the pokemon living in said forest. More often than not, I tend to forget Onion has more to their origin than just being a time traveler, and I like how you hinted that the story's world functions on a non-linear multiple timeline system.

Onion kept refusing Bird here because he hadn't proven himself yet, and likely because she hadn't yet seen a chivalrous path ahead of him during all those previous times. I liked seeing Bird rise up to the task and save the oddish kid, even putting himself in danger without his special weapon. What Onion said at the end was really inspiring honestly, and gave this story a heartwarming conclusion.

All in all, I enjoyed reading your depiction of Celebi. I hope you do more oneshots starring legends like this! :D

 

[Pen]

This was an enjoyable read! I really liked the premise that Celebi is a patron deity who blesses farfetched by growing their leeks. You set a nicely tense mood in the beginning, and Farfetched's anger and distracted wandering into murkrow territory felt plausible. I might have liked to see his abandoning of the leek have a bit more impact on the fight--the fact that he's able to handle himself fine made the encounter feel a bit less dangerous and a true test of courage than it might have. Normally, the 'psyche, I was just testing you' move irritates me, but Celebi's future powers made that particular trope really work--Celebi didn't set up the encounter, just decided to wait and see how Farfetched would handle it. I also like the implication that Celebi sees multiple future and doesn't know which one will be realized until the actual actors choose; our choices matter. Celebi gives Farfetched the chance to prove himself, and he does.

Spoiler: line-by-lines

Upon a sturdy branch, a farfetch’d shuffled from foot to foot, keeping his eyes glued to a patch of recently upturned dirt in a moon bleached clearing below. He ruffled his feathers in hopes of staving off the chilly wind, but he dared not move.

I think this first sentence here would benefit from being broken up. I got a bit lost in it. You may want to say "the" instead of "a" moon-bleached clearing, because the clearing is known to the farfetched.

There's a contradiction in being told he dared not move when the previous sentence describes him as shuffling from foot to foot. And ruffling feathers feels pretty close to movement to me.

The tell-tale sign of a honchkrow and their cronies made the farfetch’d freeze.

A little confused about how he can freeze if he hasn't been moving.

The farfetch’d held his breath, waiting, hoping as the light faded, revealing just who he hoped to see: Celebi.

This sentence is a bit scrambled. Maybe, "The farfetch’d held his breath, waiting, hoping. The light faded, revealing just who he hoped to see: Celebi."

Celebi said, thought she did not speak out loud

* though

But to his dismay,

For a moment, he was frozen, dismayed.

Lot of dismay in close succession.

“Why?” He asked Celebi,

*he asked

In his current state, it was easy to ignore the sounds of nocturnal pokemon going about their business. And for a while he was content to let it be little more than background noise. Until a nearby, heckling caw shook him out of his thoughts.

This transition was nicely done.

“Kid! Run” Farfetch’d cried out,

Missing punctuation.

“Mhmmm” The oddish

Missing punctuation.

 

[kintsugi]

I am here to pay homage to the onion royalty!

Truly though, it was a lot of fun to see this shape up, and it's fun to see the direction you ended up taking this prompt in! I loved the idea of this as a prize and was really excited to see you paired up with kyeugh for this--seemed like a really potent combo. Plus you've got your own interpretation of Celebi, and it's fun to see how some of that leaked in a little.

The throughline of this is nice and sweet, and works really well within the wordcount that you have here. I think the core of the story is simple enough for it to work really well in a short format--we might seek change from others, but sometimes it comes from ourselves--but it's one that bears repeating. It's an interesting twist on prayer and worthiness: does Celebi actually test other farfetch'd like this, or was this one special? The lesson this farfetch'd learns seems like one all sirfetch'd would benefit from; did the other ones that evolve do so because they already understood the weight of evolution, or did Celebi just decide to let them evolve anyway?

anyway the pun in the title is s-tier

some line-by-lines:

Spoiler

Upon a sturdy branch, a farfetch’d shuffled from foot to foot, keeping his eyes glued to a patch of recently upturned dirt in a moon bleached clearing below. He ruffled his feathers in hopes of staving off the chilly wind, but he dared not move.

I thought that "shuffled from foot to foot" and "ruffled" contradicted "he dared not move" a bit.

Please, the farfetch’d mentally cried. I’ve waited so long for this.

This one would be more clear with italics for the thoughts, especially since they're explicitly called out as mental cries (so basically dialogue).

“Why?” He asked Celebi

Dialogue typo here; should be:
> "Why?" he asked Celebi

But my say is final. Don’t worry. You will get your chance.

I guess in hindsight it's not weird since it's kind of a test, but "my say is final" and "you will get your chance" didn't mesh for me--"my say is final. don't worry. you'll get your chance next year" or something might better imply that the say is only final until the time comes to try again.

But before he could make a sound, Celebi was engulfed in a ball of light, then zipped away into the forest.

The passive ("was engulfed") into active ("zipped away") felt a bit weird.

then zipped away into the forest.

Farfetch’d stood still for some time, staring first at the spot where Celebi had zipped away

Then she zipped away

Celebi is doing a lot of zipping this evening.

The voice was followed by more of those incessant, jeering caws

“Sorry kid, no can do. Boss doesn’t take lightly to trespassers,” one said.

Dropped a period at the end of "caws"--I'd also just make these one paragraph, since they link pretty closely to one another.

Two murkrow stood on either side of a young, trembling oddish, their feathers ruffled to appear bigger.

This initially read to me that the oddish had ruffled feathers. I'd rephrase to:
> Two murkrow, their feathers ruffled to appear bigger, stood on either side of a young, trembling oddish.

A sweet scent permeated the air, likely the only defense the child could think to do.

Is this a defense? Is there a situation in which this would work as a defense mechanism?

positioning himself between it and the oddish.

“Leave the kid alone,” he demanded, positioning himself to strike.

Then his gaze hardened and he leered right back.

He gave the other one an intense leer

Lotta positioning/leering in this sequence.

“Kid! Run” Farfetch’d cried out

Dropped a punctuation after "Run!"

As he spun, he caught sight of the fleeing oddish, and the other murkrow chasing him

Dropped a period here.

“Keep going!” He called out

Should be:
> "Keep going!" he called out
(in general you have a good grasp of dialogue punctuation so I figured these were typos, but if you want an explanation, let me know!)

“‘M fine…” the oddish mumbled, before adding “thank you. I’ll get home from here”

> "'M fine..." the oddish mumbled, before adding, "Thank you."

He stood silent in the field for some time. But eventually, he began to walk towards home, holding his leek in both wings. There was a spring in his step as he walked, and he let out a cheerful hum. He had gotten the leek he so coveted, met Celebi, and helped someone as well. And after all this, he knew he would remember this night for the rest of his life.

I thought this ending was a bit too summarizing--I'd almost leave it with "then she zipped off, leaving the farfetch'd alone"; the story makes the conclusions of this paragraph pretty clear without needing to explicitly state it.

A fun little oneshot, and a delight to see grow (heh)! Love the onion-worshipping mythos given life here.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

That's a nice story, that one. Feels kinda like a fairy tale that people in that world would tell.

 

[Namohysip]

Catnip for you too!

This was a cute story! It was very predictable in terms of the beats that would happen if only for the meta reason of the story's length. Once there was a cry in the forest, I knew exactly what was going to happen by the beat. That doesn't mean the story was bad, though. In fact, due to its length and subject matter, I would say that actually played to its strengths. I thought it was well executed.

I think my only minor critique was, if only because of how easily predicted it was, you could have probably cut all of Celebi's dialogue for the final meeting down to just a little smile and warping away, and the same general intent would have come across with 100% less dialogue and therefore a more succinct falling action.

Otherwise, however, I liked his characterization transitioning from someone immature and simply training, to properly rising to the occasion when he had to put all of his teachings to practice. The most impressive point was how the narration implied that, in the past, he would have considered leaving it be and letting conflicts happen around him. The turning point was when he decided to defy his original instinct.

As an aside, I'm almost tempted to look through it and speculate on whether or not he made three critical hits during that scuffle, if only as a meta nod to their canon method of evolving. It'd be funny. But as it is, I appreciated how it didn't dillydally anywhere for too much longer than it should have. That's particularly impressive for a story so short.

Anyway, that's all for this short and sweet one shot. Good work on the fun and simple tale!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, the last hours of Week 2 are upon us, so this is the part where I do my roundup of popular one-shots that I haven’t gotten around to reading yet. This one stood out to me, especially since it’s supposed to be a cute lil’ piece about Farfetch’d coming of age in Wandersword’s setting. Since Wandersword Chapter 3 isn’t around this Review Blitz, this will have to do as a stand-in:

Seeking Chivalry​

Small nitpick here in case it wasn’t intentional, but “chivalry” was misspelled in the version of this story that I read.

The forest was calm tonight. From the distance came the serene song of kricketot, and the wingbeats of a noctowl as it swooped past from just above the treeline. But otherwise there was little more than the soft rustling of leaves in the wind.

Upon a sturdy branch, a farfetch’d shuffled from foot to foot, keeping his eyes glued to a patch of recently upturned dirt in a moon bleached clearing below. He ruffled his feathers in hopes of staving off the chilly wind, but he dared not move. Tonight was too important.

… Wait, how on earth do Farfetch’d keep their balance in the trees with duck feet anyways? Since I could’ve sworn those weren’t particularly well-suited for gripping onto things. ^^;

A loud caw sounded somewhere nearby, followed by a chorus of quieter cawing. The tell-tale sign of a honchkrow and their cronies made the farfetch’d freeze. Please, not now, he thought. The last thing he needed was a fight with the local flock. He anxiously preened at the joint between his right wing and his body, where he’d normally keep his leek carefully tucked away. Normally. Yet, it was conspicuously absent.

I kinda wonder if Farfetch’d’s internal thoughts should be differentiated from the rest of the paragraph somehow. Though this entire scenario sounds very

as a Farfetch’d. Right up there with a Cubone/Marowak getting stuck without a club.

Wingbeats in the distance signalled that the murkrow flock was on the move, thankfully flying away. With them gone, he relaxed slightly and turned his attention back to the upturned dirt. Then he shook his head, looked away, then looked again.

The scene in the clearing had changed.

Can’t tell if that’s a good thing or if things have just gotten much, much worse right now.

His heart fluttered as an orb of light flew towards the patch of dirt at a leisurely pace, bobbing through the air as if it had no care in the world. The farfetch’d held his breath, waiting, hoping as the light faded, revealing just who he hoped to see: Celebi.

So how much of an airheaded ditz is this one compared to PWCH’s Celebi? :V

Celebi drew close to the patch of dirt, holding out a hand. She let out a contemplative hum, psychic energy dancing over her fingertips.

Please, the farfetch’d mentally cried. I’ve waited so long for this.

Same shtick here with the internal thoughts. Something something “it’s a stylistic nitpick and ultimately subjective”, but it IMO would help the protag’s thought process stand out a bit more against the rest of the description.

But to his dismay, Celebi shook her head, raising up from her position over the dirt. She paused, then turned her head to stare directly at the farfetch’d. The faintest of smiles danced on her face. The expression threatened to crack his heart in two: pity.

Protag: “Oh great, like I needed to feel any more pathetic right now.” >///<

“I know you’re watching me,” Celebi said, thought she did not speak out loud. Rather, the Voice of the Forest echoed directly in the farfetch’d’s head. “Sorry. Maybe next year.”

Somehow, I doubt that’ll stop this duck, since otherwise this is going to be a really short one-shot.

For a moment, he was frozen, dismayed. Then he found his nerves and dove from the tree, landing with a glide just beside the dirt. His beak worked fast, digging at the dirt while Celebi looked on with that same, pitying look.

Soon, he’d unearthed the leek. His leek. Small, and exactly as he’d left it. Exactly as it had always been.

… Wait, how long has he had that buried there anyways if it hasn’t started decomposing yet?

“Why?” He asked Celebi, his voice wavering, cracking. “For three years now, every hatchday, I’ve buried my leek, hoping you’d make it grow. And three years, you’ve passed me over. Why?”

Celebi: “... You’ve managed to keep the same leek intact for three years?” .-.
Farfetch’d: “I… might have replaced it a couple times? But the point is that I was hoping to get one that was a bit… bigger.”

Celebi stared down at the young farfetch’d, still with that pitying expression. She was silent for some time, and for a moment, the farfetch’d thought she’d say nothing at all. But then the voice returned to his head.

“Young one, I see all of time stretched out before me. And through your leek, I see your story. With evolution comes responsibility. Responsibility that requires maturity. But your story tells me this isn’t your time. Rest for now. Train. Learn more about the world. And perhaps next year, you will be ready.”

Farfetch’d: “But next year, I might be someone else’s dinner!” >///<
Celebi: “Didn’t see that one in your future, not that you attempting to make rash decisions on a whim is likely to help your odds there.”

The farfetch’d balked. “But I— surely there must be something I can do to prove myself to you?”

Celebi:

Farfetch’d: “Look, we’ve got at least half a one-shot left to get through so there has to be something… please?” ._.;

Celebi shook her head, and replied in a gentle voice, “I understand your desire, young one. But my say is final. Don’t worry. You will get your chance.”

On one level, you’d think that Farfetch’d would take more stock from a reassurance from a time traveling onion fairy that he’ll get a chance to grow his leek, but I suppose that if Celebi only sees where the future will go based on present conditions, that it’s not really all that much of a reassurance.

He opened his beak to protest. But before he could make a sound, Celebi was engulfed in a ball of light, then zipped away into the forest.

Farfetch’d: “... Oh.”

Farfetch’d stood still for some time, staring first at the spot where Celebi had zipped away, then down at his leek. It wasn’t fair. He’d been waiting for so long already. Most of the farfetch’d his age had already made it through this rite of passage, so why couldn’t he? Why did he have to be left behind?

Because in the onion fairy’s own words, you’re not quite ready to become a Sirfetch’d? Assuming that that’s what you’re gunning for here?

He let out a frustrated cry, kicked at the dirt, then turned around and stalked off, not even bothering to pick up his leek. He could get it in the morning, when he would hopefully feel less horrible.

Since, you know. This feels like something that’s just begging for things to go wrong right now.

He started towards home, only to veer off the path along the way. At the moment, he felt too restless to settle down, let alone sleep. His heart thrummed aggressively against his chest, and his body felt like he’d been in an intense fight. But perhaps a walk would help cool his head.

In his current state, it was easy to ignore the sounds of nocturnal pokemon going about their business. And for a while he was content to let it be little more than background noise. Until a nearby, heckling caw shook him out of his thoughts.

Well, looks like things are going wrong already here. ^^;

Honchkrow’s gang was nearby. In his half-aware state, he’d wandered close to their territory. Letting out a sigh, the farfetched shook his head and turned to stalk away.

“L-leave me alone! Please!”

Honchkrow + Honchkrow’s Murder:

A young, panicked voice made Farfetch’d freeze. The voice was followed by more of those incessant, jeering caws.

“Sorry kid, no can do. Boss doesn’t take lightly to trespassers,” one said.

“Yeah, no trespassers!” a second echoed.

Oh hey, I wasn’t that far off, really. o<o

Farfetch’d wanted to just ignore it and move on. Where there were two murkrow, there were sure to be dozens more. But that first voice. That was a child. He.. he couldn’t ignore a child.

Er, actually, yes, you can. And it would probably be wise to, since picking a fight with a kid is a fast way to summon angry and defensive parents that will be much stronger than him/her.

He took a few seconds to mentally prepare himself, then spun and charged towards the voices.

The undergrowth parted, opening into a small clearing. Two murkrow stood on either side of a young, trembling oddish, their feathers ruffled to appear bigger. A sweet scent permeated the air, likely the only defense the child could think to do.

Oh, I didn’t realize that the third party wasn’t Farfetch’d. It might have made sense to make it a bit more obvious by doing something like adding a speech tag.

Something hot flared up inside of Farfetch’d, a righteous fury, perhaps. Without hesitation, Farfetch’d charged forward, letting out an angry squawk, and shoved one of the murkrow aside. He gave the other one an intense leer, positioning himself between it and the oddish.

Farfetch’d: “LEEEEROY JENKINS!”
Murkrow #1: “Huh?! What the-?!” OvO;

“Leave the kid alone,” he demanded, positioning himself to strike.

For a moment, the murkrow looked alarmed, as if he hadn’t thought he would ever receive any sort of resistance. Then his gaze hardened and he leered right back.

“What, you think you can make us?”

Murkrow #2: “Did you seriously just charge in with no plan of what to do? Just who do you think we are here?”

Farfetch’d: “Pah, do you expect me to be scared of an attempted murder of Murkrow? I can handle two Murkrow!” >:|

“I’d like to see him try!” the second murkrow said, beating his wings together. Farfetch’d glanced back in time to see a thick, dark haze billow out from around the murkrow. It took to the air, making tight loops and hastening the miasma’s spread.

Something hard jabbed Farfetch’d in the chest. He turned back, face to face with the first murkrow, who pecked him in the chest again. He let out an enraged quack and beat his wings against the bird, driving it away. Then he retaliated with several furious jabs of his own. His attack was relentless, jabbing again and again, driving the murkrow backwards.

Cue the calvary showing up in 3… 2…

A heavy blow to his back sent him tumbling forward. The second murkrow was hovering over him now, wings beating against him as it tried to regain its altitude. But at least they were both occupied with him now.

Farfetch’d: “Which, you know, still isn’t quite the outcome I was hoping for here.”

“Kid! Run” Farfetch’d cried out, hoping there were no other murkrow around. Then he rolled to the side, just barely avoiding another peck to the chest, and took to the air. His body took on a soft, white glow, and he banked before diving back towards the aerial murkrow, slamming into it with all the force he could muster.

Narrator: “There are other Murkrow around.”

He began to tumble through the air, locked into a tangle of feathers with the murkrow. As he spun, he caught sight of the fleeing oddish, and the other murkrow chasing him.

Farfetch’d: “Oh for crying out loud!” >.<

No! With a final shove, he broke away from the melee and began flying towards the other murkrow, his body lighting up again. This time, he slammed his target into the ground, rolling to a stop not far away.

The oddish, panicked, had stopped running. He forced himself back to his feet, then ran towards it. “Keep going!” He called out, pushing it into the undergrowth. “Gotta lose them!”

Farfetch’d: “... You know, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have left my leek buried in the dirt back in the forest.”

For just a heartbeat longer, the oddish hesitated. Then they were both running, ducking from bush to bush in the darkness as they fled further and further away from the murkrow.

Farfetch’d kept shooting looks over his shoulder, but soon, the sound of their pursuers was left behind. Only then did he relax.

“I think… we’re safe…” He took a moment to catch his breath. “Are you… okay?”

They’re not safe at all, are they?

“‘M fine…” the oddish mumbled, before adding “thank you. I’ll get home from here”

Farfetch’d’s heart rate was returning to normal. He let out a long breath and hesitated. “Well, if you’re sure...”

Is this going to turn out to be Celebi in disguise or something here? Since this Oddish sure seemed to pop up conveniently after Celebi blipped out.

“Mhmmm” The oddish bowed as best as an oddish could bow, then turned and hurried into the bushes. Farfetch’d waited for just a moment longer, then left as well. Now that he’d calmed down, he realized how foolish it had been to leave his leek behind, and he was beginning to feel unprotected without it - even if he had held his own well enough. With that in mind, he decided it would be good to return for it before… trying to sleep.

Farfetch’d: “... Boy am I feeling some regrets right about now.”

The clearing was not just as he left it. Sure, his leek was right where he had abandoned it. But there was something different now. Someone, rather. Floating above the patch of dirt, wreathed in a gentle light, was Celebi.

Oh, so she saw all of that, huh?

Fafetch’d hurried across the clearing, coming to a stop below Celebi. He locked eyes with her for a moment. Then his gaze traveled to the ground, and his beak fell open.

He’s got a Sirfetch’d leek now, doesn’t he?

Laying on the ground was his leek. But it wasn’t the same as before. It was bigger, sturdier.

Scratch that, a G-Farfetch’d leek, it sounds like. Maybe. Possibly.

“Great Celebi, what-”

Celebi held up a hand to silence him. “The path of a sirfetch’d is the path of chivalry. Honor, courage, willingness to protect the weak, even at the cost of your own safety.” She paused to gesture to Farfetch’d’s chest, where a bruise was starting to form. “When I looked at your leek, I could see your life laid out before you, and all the branches you could take. And I realized that this lesson could change the course of your life. So I waited, hoping that in doing so, you would make the right decision tonight.”

… So wait, are there also analogues to Black Knights among Sirfetch’d as well? Since boy would that be something to behold.

But more seriously, this is a cute moment here, even if I kinda figured something like this was coming from how much the story steered the protag towards defending the Oddish.

Farfetch’d was quiet, letting Celebi’s words sink in. Slowly, he reached down to pick up his leek, testing its weight. “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

Farfetch’d: “... Wait, how am I even physically capable of lifting this when I’m pretty sure it’s twice my height right lengthwise right now?” ^^;

Celebi hummed and reached down to give the farfetch’d a quick pat on the head. Then she began to rise. “Now, I must be off. I have many other things to do.”

Once again, Celebi became enveloped in brilliant light. Then she zipped away, leaving the farfetch’d alone.

Farfetch’d: “... Wait, did I land three critical hits back there, or do I just have to lug this around for a while like this?” .-.

He stood silent in the field for some time. But eventually, he began to walk towards home, holding his leek in both wings. There was a spring in his step as he walked, and he let out a cheerful hum. He had gotten the leek he so coveted, met Celebi, and helped someone as well. And after all this, he knew he would remember this night for the rest of his life.

What an eventful hatch day.

Oh, well never mind, Farfetch’d did get a G-Farfetch’d leek after all.

But it was a cute piece overall, and a nice little breather to settle in with on a sleepier night. It’s simple, but I thought that it accomplished the narrative of “would-be seeker of power gets turned down, put up to a test of character, and passes it for a just reward” in a pretty charming manner. There’s not a whole lot of things that I would recommend changing beyond a couple minor tweaks here and there to make certain things a bit clearer/more obvious (e.x. the specific style of leek that protag is searching for), and maybe setting apart protag’s “inner thoughts” more from the rest of the surrounding narration. But those are honestly very small nitpicks there, and style-wise there’s an argument to be made for sticking to what’s there, especially if you were on a word budget.

Very well done, @windskull . I sure hope that @kyeugh liked the gift fic, since as an outside reader, it was a lot of fun to go through.

 

[tomatorade]

Yello. I'm here for catnip.

Celebi is practitioner of no spoilers, I see.

Anyways, this was overall a cute sorta fairy tale narrative that says what it needs to say and skedaddles lol. I enjoyed it overall, I think. It's got a quaint sorta vibe that resonated with me even as I had some problems here or there.

So let's get into the problems first.

Thoughts. Duck has thoughts, but they they're formatted the same as the rest of the text and occasionally stuck plainly in paragraphs. I think you were trying to go for a stylistic thing here, but I don't think it worked. I ended up stumbling over pretty much every duck thought because I had to read through them once before I realized what they were. I mean, italics would solve the problem but idk.

And my other complaint is this: sir duck running into murkrow gang bullying an oddish right after meeting Celebi felt convenient in a way that took me out a little bit. There's a certain appeal to this all happening in the same night--it's what the 'punchline' so to speak is hinged on, after all--so maybe it's unavoidable, but it did rub me the wrong way a little bit. To be fair, I'm struggling to think of solutions that would reatin the same-day hatchday mechanic. It still works for the story.

stalked off haha lmao. gottem, duck nerd.

The worldbuilding is sick ngl. It's really only a couple strong details, but they paint a great picture of this forest's culture and beliefs. Also, in a way that's real, which helps the fairtale aspect of this. I can definitely imagine an abridged version of this story being told to little duckies as honour propaganda. I do feel sorry for all the cowardly ducks who will never evolve, though. Celebi's a bit of a troll, sorry.

I find Celebi as a character interesting (just in general, I guess). It's funny to me that she has this whole speech set up even presumably knowing how the night will go. Makes me wonder what her policy is for real rejection. I alos wonder what her vision of the future truly is. She implies at the end that there was a possibility ducky bailed from murkrow gang and didn't evolve, which in turn implies fate is not such a big deal here. Interesting.

Though Celebi works in the story's favour for sure. You avoid the obvious trap of having ducky intervene knowing what he must do in order to evolve and thus cheapening the message. Instead, he truly believes he's failed and saved the oddish of his own accord. It's just good structure, folks. And a cute message. I find the simplicity of this really appealing, which I've already said, but there's a tendency for people (including me) to overcomplicate their story's relationships with legendaries and lose some of the mythological feel that I think makes them compelling.

Sorry i din't have an incredible amount to say. I was going to read duck fic regardless, and I have certainly not regretted it. Thank you!

 

[Cresselia92]

Howdy, windskull! It looks like the Catnip Roulette has made our paths cross at least, and I'm really interested to see what you've got in store!

The list you've posted had many promising entries, but I've found the premise of this story particularly compelling. And boy, I'm so glad I picked this fanfic! It's just such a charming story, like a fairytale set in the Pokémon world (and I'm a major fairytale fan). This seems the kind of story that could be narrated to children to teach them important values like patience and altruism. ❤️

And the lore is such a delight. Young Farfetch'd getting their blessing from Celebi as a rite of passage? It's such a lovely idea, and it fits well with the whole "fairy that grows plants" theme. Kinda makes me wonder if the leeks or their seeds are left behind by Celebi, too? It would be quite interesting if Celebi left the seeds behind and had the Farfetch'd grow them, as a way to test their progress and how much love they poured into their leeks. But well, that's a theory! A fanfic theory!

Now, for the characters. I found the protagonist Farfetch'd relatable, too. Putting all your efforts into trying to achieve a dream... and falling short without being able to tell what you're doing wrong or what's missing? Dang, isn't that a major mood and something that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives? Also, it gave me some Brother Bear vibes as well, since both protagonists only wished to become adults and achieved their goals through acts of altruism and bravery. Two great qualities, too!

I also really like the idea that Celebi can see different futures, but can't tell which one will happen. Just like the past shapes the present, I guess that the present is what will shape the future. Which, well, fair. It's up to you to forge your own path, without someone else offering you some shortcut or cheating. It makes the whole thing feel like it has been earned and well-deserved.

Writing-wise, this story was really easy to follow. It had just the right amount of dialog and descriptions, making the whole story fluid and dynamic. There wasn't a single moment where I felt that the events were taking too long or were rushed, so kudos for achieving that! ^^

Only one thing: there a lil' typo in your title. ;3

Well, I'd say that's all! Thanks for sharing this story, windskull! I'll see if I can check more of your stuff because this story was so good.

Until next time~