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Pokémon Resting Place

love

Memento mori
Pronouns
he/him/it
Partners
  1. leafeon
Resting Place

After a peaceful near-death experience, Poppy is thrust back out into the real world and forced to reevaluate her life.
A PMD inspired story and the second I've finished out of four so far. Those Who Will Inherit the Earth (which I will post here later, after some edits) uses the same main character names and species but is otherwise a totally different story.

Suicidal ideation

Snowy plains bled into the white of a cloudy sky. A sole leafeon wandered across these plains, slowly but tirelessly cresting hill after hill. It took her a while, but eventually she began to recognize the topology. It was relieving to see things laid bare here, absent all the crowds and dreary buildings. To breathe fresh air in the place that had, ostensibly, been her home.

The thought did not cross the leafeon's mind that she might be here forever. If it had, though, it would not have scared her. She was comfortable.

***

"…pollution, we would like to remind all citizens to refrain from drinking stream water except as a last resort…"

The leafeon awoke to the sound of the radio. She opened her bleary eyes and saw a familiar delcatty—Lavender—fussing with something in the kitchen. By chance Lavender happened to look back, and when she noticed her partner, her eyes went wide.

"Poppy!" Lavender almost tripped over herself as she bounded toward the leafeon. She nuzzled her just behind her head. Poppy caught a whiff of her breath, which smelled of alcohol.

"I'm so glad you're awake," Lavender said. "Oh, but you're probably parched… I'll get you some water right away."

Lavender hurried back to the kitchen and returned with an open can and a straw in her mouth. She placed the can beside Poppy and put the straw inside it. Poppy slowly lifted her head to drink the water and was instantly put off by the metallic taste. She should have been used to it, but she supposed after all the time she had spent unconscious…

"Lavender," she said—and then launched into a coughing fit. Her partner tensed. "It's okay," Poppy assured her once she regained her composure. "My throat is just dry, is all…"

Lavender sighed. "Okay, thank goodness. So, what were you going to say?"

Poppy took a breath. "I can't keep scavenging with you anymore."

***

The patterns of the floorboards' grain; the shards of glass scattered across the floor; the raindrops trailing down the window pane. These small things took up Poppy's world for the next 12 hours—at least, during the brief moments when she opened her eyes.

Poppy did not want to move. But the city was quieter now that it was evening, and the air was bound to be less toxic. Now would be the best time to leave. Before Lavender returned.

Poppy stood up and took a deep breath as she waited for her dizziness to fade. She was strong enough to walk, though probably only at a very slow pace. She checked the contents of the pouch around her torso. Only one can of water left, but she decided against taking more from the apartment.

Poppy encountered Lavender as she made her way out of the apartment. Lavender's gaze was low, and she only raised it after she had nearly bumped shoulders with Poppy in the narrow hallway. Her eyes went wide. "Oh, P-Poppy," she began. "I'm sorry I threw such a fit, I just felt like—"

Poppy did not stop to listen. "There is nothing you could have said to convince me to stay," she said as she made her way to the end of the hall. "Good luck with everything."

It surprised Poppy how little it hurt to leave behind her partner of two years.

***

The world was covered in snow once again. It was pristine.

When Poppy realized where she was, she began to quietly cry. Since her tears hindered her sight, it took a while before she noticed the creature that had appeared beside her. She suppressed her feelings for a moment and wiped her eyes to get a better look at it. It was small, barely over half her size, and quadrupedal. It was covered in plain white fur, and its ears and head resembled a rabbit's. It did not look like any pokemon Poppy had seen or heard of.

"What is wrong?" the creature asked. It spoke to her softly, like it was her friend. "Do you not like it here?"

Poppy shook her head. "I-I do… But I know I'll just have to leave again…"

"Actually, that need not be the case."

Poppy looked at the creature with befuddlement. "…Do you know a lot about this place?"

"Indeed—in fact, I created it. Or perhaps I should say that we created it."

"What?"

"About two days ago, you died—or at least, you came very close. When your soul entered my domain, I learned what kind of pokemon you are and made this place, which reflects where I think you would have wanted to go after you die. Your heaven, you might say. It is something I do for all the souls that have passed on. Usually I think those under my care are satisfied, but there are exceptions, and I wanted to make sure you were not one of them."

"Are you saying… If I had truly died, I would have never left this place?"

The creature smiled sadly. "That would be nice, would it not? In reality, a disembodied soul cannot last long before disintegrating. All I can do is provide comfort in the interim."

Poppy looked down. "I see… So after that, it is just oblivion…"

"Transformation, I would say. It is not the kind of thing that could be grasped by a mind."

"I see," Poppy sighed. "Or, I guess I don't. But regardless… Why am I here now, if this place is only for the dead? Have I died already?"

"No, you are merely asleep. To come here ordinarily you would need to be close to death, but because of your prior visit, it is different. Your soul has an affinity for this place. When you awake, however, it should return to your body unharmed, and you may continue to live as usual. Or I can keep you here if you like, and you can await disintegration. I leave the choice up to you."

"A choice, huh…" Poppy lifted her head, and a smile crept across her face. "I-"

She was interrupted by the sound of Lavender's voice.

***

"Poppy! Poppy!"

Poppy felt a feeble breeze against her fur as Lavender nuzzled her shoulder. "Yes, okay…" Poppy mumbled. "I'm awake…" She opened her eyes slightly, and then regretted it as soon as she saw the concern on Lavender's face.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Lavender gushed. "I was really worried since you barely had time to recover, and it's really not safe for you to be out by yours- Ah!"

Poppy reached up and pulled Lavender down so that she laid beside her. She buried her face in the luscious fur at the back of her neck. "Hush," she said.

And Lavender did. The duo laid in silence for the next hour as the sun came up over the mountains behind them. Not that Poppy was paying attention; she was content to keep her eyes closed and let Lavender's scent envelop her. While the city air had tainted it somewhat, there was still a familiar sweetness there.

Eventually Lavender broke the silence. "Poppy, I have to ask, what are you going to do?"

Poppy stood up slowly. "For now let's just spend some time together. It's been a long time since we just… went on a walk. Come on." She limped over to the trail next to her.

"Poppy, I don't think you should stray any farther from the city. If you get attacked in your current state…"

Poppy continued to walk, ignoring Lavender. Soon enough she heard Lavender's footsteps as she trotted to catch up.

The walk was almost nice—the moths and dragonflies were certainly better company than all the strangers out on the city streets, but Poppy kept her head down whenever she caught the scent of decay in the air. She knew it was from the corpses of ferals.

Eventually the duo stopped to drink some canned water, at which point Poppy spoke. She told Lavender about what she had experienced last night, and most of the things the white-furred creature had said to her.

Lavender seemed pleased with the news, which Poppy had not expected. "Wow, you went there again? If what that creature says is true, you might turn out visiting every time you go to sleep. Maybe that will help you work through things?"

I don't want to work through anything, Poppy thought to herself. "I would say so, but… there's one other thing, Lavender."

"What's that?"

She took a deep breath and struggled to meet her partner's eyes. "That creature told me that my soul is still dying. So the next time that I visit that place, it will probably be the end."

Lavender's eyes widened, and she trembled as she clenched her jaw.

"Lavender, please… It's nothing to get upset about…"

"What do you mean it's nothing to get upset about?!" Lavender's voice was shrill and strained when she shouted. "After all that, you're still going to… Still…" She wailed and broke down in tears.

Poppy went over to comfort her. "I'm sorry," she said as she touched the crown of her head to Lavender's. "But I've accepted it, and you need to do the same."

A part of Poppy—a very big part—wanted nothing more than to leave. It was disgusting to listen to her partner blubber on like this, especially after getting used to the peaceful silence in that snow-covered realm. But she genuinely did pity Lavender, so she felt obliged to at least remain beside her.

"That's nonsense," Lavender sobbed. "I want you to stay with me… There has to be a way to… fight this…"

"We're lucky enough that I'm even here right now. Just be grateful for it, Lavender."

"No…"

Lavender laid down defeatedly, and for a long time it seemed like there would be no end to her tears. But despite her grief she still could not cry forever, and when she finally calmed down, she wiped her eyes and addressed her friend with a hollow voice. "Poppy, earlier you said you couldn't keep scavenging with me. That was before you talked to that creature, so…" She gave a shuddering sigh. "So I still don't understand why you said that…"

"It's not important now anyways," Poppy said. "You need to worry about living your own life."

"It is important, Poppy. I need to know if I've done something wrong."

Poppy shook her head. "No. Actually, I'm the one who erred, because I couldn't protect you. When the lycanroc attacked us, I realized I didn't have it in me to hurt another pokemon. But that's what we've come to, right? Infringing on wild pokemons' territories as we exhaust every dungeon's resources. It was fun when it was easy. But now it's become a matter of life and death…"

"Poppy, I don't blame you for hesitating back there. I don't want to hurt pokemon either. But we were just trying our best to make a living, and that's nothing to feel bad about."

Poppy hid her scowl and didn't respond. It wasn't worth it to argue.

***

Poppy could see far out from this vantage point. The snow made the world look soft, the mountain peaks rounded.

"I trust you have made your decision?" a familiar voice asked.

Poppy looked beside her and saw the white-furred creature. She nodded. "I will remain here." She began to wander, but the creature's voice stopped her.

"…You don't want to tell her you love her?"

Poppy shook her head. "No. It would only make her feel worse. Besides, to be honest…" She looked up at the ashen sky. "I'm not sure I really did."
 
Last edited:

kintsugi

golden scars
Location
waiting for the fog to roll out
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
hey, here from Cosmic Reversion! two for the price of one, haha; I really enjoyed the last oneshot and wanted to check this one out!

"That's nonsense," Lavender sobbed. "I want you to stay with me… There has to be a way to… fight this…"

"We're lucky enough that I'm even here right now. Just be grateful for it, Lavender."
I'm noticing a trend in these, haha--this idea that there's some oncoming horrible fate and there's really nothing else you can do but savor what time you have left. It's admittedly a sad one, but I think you do a good job of laying out what drives the characters to feel this way.

Is this part of a larger world? In this one, the disaster feels like it's coming in broad strokes, and everyone but me is aware of it--there's pollution making the water undrinkable, the air is unbreathable at some points--but does anyone know what's causing it? Does anyone care? It was kind of interesting to read through Poppy's lens here since she's so numbed to the events going around her that it's more of "oh man, better stock up on canned water" instead of "remember when we didn't have to do this??", but as a reader I wanted a bit of a better understanding of what the world is doing, since a lot of the character development is driven by this nebulous and slow world-ending, and the shittiness of the real world (probably) leads in part to why Poppy chooses to stay.

Another choice that I thought was particularly interesting was the one not to focus on how Poppy had these near-death brushes in the first place. I think this one was more interesting to hide than the detailing of the environmental disaster that's plaguing the real world, since in a sense it is, like the section I quoted above, not something that either Poppy or Lavender can prevent. I think this one worked for me where the worldbuilding question didn't because there's no further action that I expected Poppy to take here--she's dead, she has to choose if she wants to go back, and based on her decision the events that got her here won't matter; compare to the questions of the poisoned air/water, which do have a much more tangible effect on the living characters and the decisions they'll choose to make.

I found myself wanting to know what Poppy was really choosing between here. The real world sections did a good job of selling me on how Poppy wouldn't want to go back for Lavender, but to me there's a large logical gap between that and choosing not to go back for anything. It's definitely a heavy topic and I don't know how it would be better unpacked, but at the same time in this story it feels very calm, casual--it's hard to reconcile the distant tone with the fact that the person telling this story has just chosen to die.

I thought the jumbled perspective was neat--I definitely had to slow down and scroll up a few times to keep track of things that were going on, but it added to the weird, disembodied feeling that you were building towards with the end. A few things that I still couldn't keep straight--do Resting Place I, II, and III all happen in the same time period (like, they happen directly after one another chronologically)? Since Poppy mentions her conversation with the rabbit in RPII to Lavender in Reunion, I didn't think so, but then does Poppy just keep having near-death experiences and showing up in the afterlife?

some random line-based thoughts:
There was endless white as far as the eye could see; snowy plains bled into a cloudy sky like a painting left in the rain.
I kind of get where this is going (I imagined watercolors!), but as a metaphor this one didn't quite work for me--wet paint drips in the rain, but usually when I picture a painting I think of the ones with dry paint, so it wouldn't really bleed as much.

When your soul entered my domain, I learned what kind of pokemon you are and made this place, which reflects where I think you would have wanted to go after you die. Your heaven, you might say. It is something I do for all the souls that have passed on. Usually I think those under my care are quite satisfied, but there are exceptions, and I wanted to make sure you were not one of them."
Oooh, this was a really spooky concept and I liked seeing it play out here. What does it say about Poppy for her ideal place to be an endless range of snowy hilltops?

"Transformation, I would say. It is not the kind of thing that could be grasped by a mind."
A very interesting take on death, too. The rabbit (?) was a really nice touch.

It surprised Poppy how little it hurt to leave behind her partner of two years.
Cutting, and kind of in-line with the detachment from the rest of the story.

When the lycanroc attacked us, I realized I didn't have it in me to hurt another pokemon. But that's what we've come to, right? Infringing on wild pokemons' territories as we exhaust every dungeon's resources. It was fun when it was easy. But now it's become a matter of life and death…
I thought this was a really interesting concept, and a good wedge issue for a rescue pair. It's very realistic (albeit very sad) that we often don't frame things in terms of consequences that they have for others, but instead around the consequences that they have for us--Poppy is aware that her actions have caused horrible pain and suffering to others, but what makes her stop is the fact that she now risks seeing that pain and suffering turn back to her. It's a lot more honest of an assessment than I'd expect most people to give, and it's so interesting to see her phrase it like this. Does she see exhausting the dungeon resources as a bad thing, or as a necessary evil like Lavender suggests? Does Poppy agree with Lavender, or does she think that Lavender's mind simply can't be changed? There's a lot of really interesting worldbuilding questions wrapped up in this one sentence that I kind of wish we saw more of, since it opens up an entirely new side of these characters. I did find myself wishing for a bit more understanding of what was happening in their world--otherwise, this could really just be original post-apoc fiction with pokemon names.

Poppy shook her head. "No. It would only make her feel worse. Besides, to be honest…" She looked up at the ashen sky. "I'm not sure I really did."
Really solid closing line here! Overall I thought this was interesting, and again an interesting concept and a delicate line to tread in keeping it story-focused while not being melodramatic. Thank you for sharing!
 

Adamhuarts

Mew specialist
Partners
  1. custom/mew-adam
  2. custom/celebi-shiny
  3. custom/roserade-adam
Saw this oneshot up and decided to give it a go. Immediately, the depressing nature of the fic is made abundantly clear, and I'm glad you left a content warning at the beginning which helped me know exactly what I was getting myself into.

As much as I'm a big fan of happy endings, I don't mind me some somber, bittersweet or tragic endings. Though I was able to understand the characters, this being a short oneshot made it hard to really connect to them.

We don't really get a full picture on why Poppy is suicidal, nor do we know what that briefly mentioned blunder from the past was all about. I also had trouble figuring out who or what the white furred creature in the snowyscape was. No pokemon came to mind, so was it an original creature you came up with?

That aside, I was still able to feel some of the emotional beats even with some of the issues I had with it above. It's an interesting oneshot for sure, and I look forward to more from you in the future.
 

Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
This was an interesting, poignant oneshot. I enjoyed the simplicity of the descriptions, particularly of the resting place, and the sense of resignation throughout. The background world-building gave a lot of texture and helped set the tone. I'm a big fan of minimalism in story-telling, and I appreciated you leaving a lot of elements, like the encounter where Poppy is wounded, to the imagination. That said, I do think the story would benefit from spending a little more time with Poppy and Lavender, giving us a sense of their history, and perhaps a sense of how Poppy, Lavender, and/or the world have changed to bring Poppy to this place.

On an aesthetic note, I don't love the scenes being labeled by location. I don't really think it's necessary to orient the reader; the context makes the switches clear. Some form of simple line-break would look a bit cleaner and fit the tone of the story more.

It took her a while, but eventually she began to recognize the topology. It was relieving to see things laid bare here, absent all the crowds and dreary buildings.
Very striking imagery. Her ideal place is one where things are laid bare--seems to speak to a real exhaustion. Poppy doesn't want to deal with Lavender, with city life, with apocalypse, with anything. A world of freshly fallen snow reads to me as a reaction against the plague and contagion that seem to be present in her reality.

The thought did not cross the leafeon's mind that she might be here forever. If it had, though, it would not have scared her. She was comfortable.
Nicely worded. I particularly like the choice of "comfortable." I throws me off when I read it, but in a good way--comfortable is such a quiet but firm word.

By chance Lavender happened to look back, and when she noticed her charge, her eyes went wide.
Found this hard to envision, and "charge" seemed like a strange descriptor. They're partners, right, but this makes it sound like Lavender is her professional caretaker, or something.

Poppy slowly lifted her head to drink the water, and was instantly put off by the metallic taste. She should have been used to it, but she supposed after all the time she had spent unconscious…
May be an opportunity to put in a detail from the resting place? Did the water there taste pure and clear?

She saw her caretaker tense up with fear.
Again, "caretaker" threw me. I think "partner" would be less confusing. "Fear" seems like a bit of a strong word--I think you could get the same effect just by saying, "She saw her partner tense."

The patterns of the floorboards' grain; the shards of glass scattered across the floor; the raindrops trailing down the window pane. These small things took up Poppy's world for the next 12 hours--at least, during the brief moments when she opened her eyes.
Nice opener to this segment.

Poppy stood up and took a deep breath as she steadied her head.
I'm a little confused by what you mean with 'steadied her head.' Is she dizzy?

Poppy encountered Lavender as she made her way out of the apartment. She was looking at the ground as she walked, so she did not notice Poppy until she was just about to pass her by. When she did her eyes went wide.
This was difficult to visualize. I wasn't sure which "she" was looking at the ground at first. And if Poppy isn't looking at the ground but Lavender is, presumably she can see her coming? Does she think about avoiding her but nope too late?

It surprised Poppy how little it hurt to leave behind her partner of two years.
Ooof.

"About two days ago, you died--or at least, you came very close. When your soul entered my domain, I learned what kind of pokemon you are and made this place, which reflects where I think you would have wanted to go after you die. Your heaven, you might say. It is something I do for all the souls that have passed on. Usually I think those under my care are quite satisfied, but there are exceptions, and I wanted to make sure you were not one of them."
Wow, the afterlife has the best customer service!

Poppy looked down. "I see… So after that, it is just oblivion…"

"Transformation, I would say. It is not the kind of thing that could be grasped by a mind."
Nicely evocative vagueness here.

And Lavender did. The duo laid in silence for the next hour as the sun came up over the mountains behind them.
I like this moment. Though, I didn't initially understand that they were outside the city. Maybe highlight that in the initial dialogue or through scenery?

The walk was almost nice--the moths and dragonflies were certainly better company than all the strangers out on the city streets, but Poppy kept her head down whenever she caught the scent of decay in the air. She knew it was from the corpses of ferals.
Love like the simplicity and judgement contained in the walk being "almost nice."

Also liking how this background apocalypse is sort of white noise for Poppy.

She took a deep breath, and struggled to meet her partner's eyes. "That creature told me that my soul is still dying. So the next time that I visit that place, it will probably be the end."
Are we meant to read this as Poppy lying to soften the blow for Lavender, since she's choosing to die, not being forced to?

It was disgusting to listen to her partner blubber on like this, especially after getting used to the peaceful silence in that snow-covered realm.
The depth of Poppy's scorn in this moment was surprising to me. Left me wanting to understand her relationship with Lavender a bit better, and how they got to this place. But I like the way you show her contrasting everything with the resting place.

When the lycanroc attacked us, I realized I didn't have it in me to hurt another pokemon. But that's what we've come to, right? Infringing on wild pokemons' territories as we exhaust every dungeon's resources. It was fun when it was easy. But now it's become a matter of life and death…"
Very 👀. I'm curious about the world-building here, though I don't mind that we don't get more into it.

Poppy turned away, hiding a scowl.
This segment ender felt a little weaker than the others to me.

She began to wander, but the creature's voice stopped her.

"…You don't want to tell her you love her?"

Poppy shook her head. "No. It would only make her feel worse. Besides, to be honest…" She looked up at the ashen sky. "I'm not sure I really did."
Nailed the ending line.
 

WildBoots

Don’t underestimate seeds.
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. custom/moka-mark
  2. solrock
a peaceful near-death experience,
You don’t hear that one every day!

So I’m just gonna jump right into the line-by-lines and see what falls out when I shake it. I feel like you might already be in your editing process with this one, so my apologies if I’m repeating things you already know about.

There was endless white as far as the eye could see; snowy plains bled into a cloudy sky like paint washing away in the rain.
I like the image of the sky being nearly indistinguishable from the ground, but it doesn’t feel right to invoke paint when you’re talking about a monochromatic landscape.

she began to recognize the topology. It was relieving to see things laid bare here, absent all the crowds and dreary buildings. To breathe fresh air in the place that had, ostensibly, been her home.
I’m not totally sure if this place is familiar to her because she already dreamed it in limbo or if the city literally used to be here and whatever has caused the destruction also wiped her home off the map. Total Poppy move to recognize a place by topography alone, though.

Poppy took a breath. "I can't keep scavenging with you anymore."
I sort of wanted a reaction from Lavender here, even just some body language.

Only one can of water left, but she decided against taking more from the apartment.
Why? She seems a little desensitized to Lavender’s needs—is that what it’s about, or is it the weight, or ...?

Poppy looked down. "I see… So after that, it is just oblivion…"

"Transformation, I would say. It is not the kind of thing that could be grasped by a mind."
This is a very love-core theme: death as transformation and transformation as death.

The walk was almost nice—the moths and dragonflies were certainly better company than all the strangers out on the city streets, but Poppy kept her head down whenever she caught the scent of decay in the air. She knew it was from the corpses of ferals.
Oh, interesting. This was the first time I could really tell that whatever is happening isn’t just the city falling apart. The pollution has spread far and wide.

When the lycanroc attacked us, I realized I didn't have it in me to hurt another pokemon.
Oh wow, the opposite of the kind of choice she makes in Those Who Inherit. It does seem limited to physical harm, though: she’s indifferent to Lavender’s psychic hurts here.

But that's what we've come to, right? Infringing on wild pokemons' territories as we exhaust every dungeon's resources.
👀

Very interesting! This I feel like what you’ve got here is a breakup story couched in environmental destruction. Poppy is accepting not just her own death but the death of their relationship. I think I needed a little more about the arc of the Lavender relationship. (I’m okay with not being totally clear on the specifics of the environmental crisis since it feels like it’s actually a set piece to this interpersonal drama.) Maybe a glimpse at what their dynamic was like before and definitely a glimpse at the moment that Poppy began to withdraw—it seems like that happened offscreen.

Brutal ending! A fun mirror-world to Those Who Inherit.
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
I remember reading this oneshot months ago. I meant to leave a comment then, but didn’t. I have no excuse. Still! Better late than never.

The thing that always stood out to me the most was the relationship between Poppy and Lavender. It takes such a sharp turn from so many partner-hero relationships. It’s become polluted, much like the water and air of the city. I’m not sure if their relationship was always fundamentally broken on some level, or only fell apart from the strain of surviving in an apocalypse (?), but either way, it’s a sour, dour examination of something that’s long since expired.

Snowy plains bled into the white of a cloudy sky.

When I think bled I usually think in terms of sharp contrast. I wonder if something like melded/melted/merged might be more fitting here.

The patterns of the floorboards' grain; the shards of glass scattered across the floor; the raindrops trailing down the window pane.

I like how this, and the fact Lavender was drinking, are the only real clues we get to Lavender’s breakdown. It’s much more chilling to imagine it myself than have it written. All the more so due to Poppy’s apathy. Almost anything could happen and it feels like she’d react in the same way.

When Poppy realized where she was, she began to quietly cry.

Given how emotionally stunted Poppy is, I found this interesting. Are they sad tears or happy tears? Later events suggest happiness. But it’s never made clear.

It was small, barely over half her size, and quadrupedal. It was covered in plain white fur, and its ears and head resembled a rabbit's. It did not look like any pokemon Poppy had seen or heard of.

I spent more time than I care to admit obsessing over what this might be. If it’s a pokemon, the only thing I could think of that made sense was either Arceus or Mega Audino. The text does seem to suggest it’s an animal though, or at least, not a pokemon. One stray theory I came up with was that it might be a reference to the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland, who represents spiritual awakening for Alice.

You explain death very matter-of-factly here. The overarching philosophy seems to be a mixture of finding peace and reincarnation.

She was interrupted by the sound of Lavender's voice.

This is the second time Lavender has pulled Poppy from that world, correct? And prevents Poppy from making a choice. It adds to the feeling that Lavender has become a burden, deadweight dragging Poppy down and simultaneously prolonging both their suffering.

While the city air had tainted it somewhat, there was still a familiar sweetness there.

Such sad imagery here, the idea of something familiar and sweet having become tainted, even though the sentence frames it in a more positive light.

The whole conversation about Poppy not wanting to scavenge anymore because it was using up resources was interesting, but also felt slightly disconnected from the main theme of the story. It felt like a major piece was missing to really understand the main thrust of that argument. Maybe it makes more sense if you’ve read the other oneshots.

And even then, I’m not sure it mattered much either way. Poppy seems to hold Lavender in utter contempt. There’s a lot of very negative word choice in this segment. The narrative frames Lavender as selfish and codependent, and Poppy is just over it.

"I'm not sure I really did."

Ouch. Something I noted is that Poppy talks about how it (scavenging? Exploring? it’s not made clear) was fun when it was easy. I wonder if you could say the same about her relationship with Poppy. Once the going got tough, Poppy got going.

Quite cynical. It’s a neat change of pace, though. I always like seeing a relationship between partners that’s something other than ‘super awesome best friends forever’.

A poem for your efforts!

And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back
and you find yourself
where you will be at the end,
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love what you are.

--Lines for Winter by Mark Strand (last seven lines)
 
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love

Memento mori
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he/him/it
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  1. leafeon
@zion of arcadia Thanks for reading the story, that was a really pleasant surprise. Normally I feel kinda weird about review responses and tend to keep my cards close to my chest, but in this case I think it is worth confirming that the story definitely wouldn't make any more sense if you had read my other stuff. It feels incomplete to most who have read it, and I'm not sure how I could remedy that in a way that I would feel comfortable with. The last time I tried to expand on this story, it turned into something utterly different. Well, maybe I could try again and see where Poppy ends up this time...

( also, Ann is just a made-up, non-pokemon creature in this story. Sorry XD I wasn't sure how to make that more clear )
 

WildBoots

Don’t underestimate seeds.
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She/Her
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  1. custom/moka-mark
  2. solrock
@zion of arcadia
I think it is worth confirming that the story definitely wouldn't make any more sense if you had read my other stuff.
I do think Those Who Will Inherit is a) very worth your time and b) an expansion on Ann. Her nature is REAL clear after that one.
 

love

Memento mori
Pronouns
he/him/it
Partners
  1. leafeon
@zion of arcadia

I do think Those Who Will Inherit is a) very worth your time and b) an expansion on Ann. Her nature is REAL clear after that one.
Well, I consider Ann to be a completely different character in Those Who Will Inherit the Earth. Really, the two stories are meant to be considered as if the other did not exist. Very nice of you to recommend it, though.
 
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