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SEASON ONE: Title Screen

SparklingEspeon

Back on Her Bullshit
Staff
Location
a Terrace of Indeterminate Location in Snowbelle
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. fennekin
  3. zoroark
pocket_monsters_by_sparklingespeon_dctb0tm (1).jpg

Taking the form of a series of television screenplays, Pocket Monsters is an anthology that chronicles the endeavors of several pokemon trainers and their pokemon partners, as they strive for the highest honor of all - a seat of glory in the Hall of Fame.

Beat – A pause in the flow of the scene.

Continuous – The weather/setting of the titled scene is exactly the same as whatever was in the last one.

Int. – Interior.

Ext. – Exterior.

Cont'd – This means that a character will continue speaking even after they break off from their original line of speech.

O.S. – The character is off-screen when speaking.

V.O. – The character is speaking, but not present in the scene.

CUT TO – go straight to the next scene.

SUPER – Text on screen.

CUT TO BLACK – The screen goes black. Usually signals the end.


Season One: Kanto (Gen I)

Child rivals Red and Blue are given an opportunity by the egnimatic Professor Oak: A chance to travel across their home region of Kanto and win a spot in the Hall of Fame, just like their fathers did before them. But when crime syndicate Team Rocket puts plans that have been laying dormant for years into motion, Red finds himself dragged into a much larger plot - one that could threaten the future of the Kanto Region.

Episode 1: Dreams

In Pallet Town, child enemies Red and Blue are recruited by the mysterious Professor Oak for a mission.

Episode 2: Reverberations

All on his own, Red tries to survive out in the wild. Team Rocket invades the nearby Mount Moon. Giovanni makes Dr. Fuji an offer.
 
Last edited:
Season One - Episode One

SparklingEspeon

Back on Her Bullshit
Staff
Location
a Terrace of Indeterminate Location in Snowbelle
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. fennekin
  3. zoroark
Based off the games
by
Nintendo
and
Game Freak


Written
by
SparklingEspeon



Pocket Monsters

Episode One: Dreams



OPEN ON:


INT. POKEMON MANSION – NIGHTTIME

Dirty stone steps.

A door BANGS in the background…

…And a RESEARCHER with long golden hair dashes down the stairs.

Running for his life.

Lights flicker.

A silver POCKETWATCH dangles from his belt as he dashes for the ROOF TRAPDOOR at the end of the corridor—

-BANG. Researcher spins on his heels.

A not-quite-human silhouette stands in front of the steps. Dripping.

Researcher stands frozen. Horrified.

A loud buzzing begins to whiz through the air, before-

-The lightbulb above the creature SHATTERS into a thousand pieces.

Researcher springs into frenzied action-

-Rushing to the end of the corridor as lights flicker and POP consecutively-

-He reaches the end of the hall-

-Pop-

-He lowers the ladder-

-Pop-

-He fiddles with the lock-

Pop-pop-POP-

-Researcher throws the door open-


EXT. POKEMON MANSION – CONTINUOUS

-And staggers onto a beach at night.

The massive silhouette of the POKEMON MANSION blots out the sky as he runs across the sand.

Suddenly, the mansion EXPLODES in a blast of light and fire-

-Researcher is thrown back-

-And pinned to the ground by a large wooden beam from the explosion.

The MAN IN BLACK, an imposing figure in a trenchcoat, watches from afar on the beach. He stands unflinchingly as a shockwave of sand engulfs him and blows away his FEDORA.

FROM A DISTANCE: Someone else scrambles out the door of another structure to see the burning house…

WITH RESEARCHER

Researcher struggles under the wooden beam. His Pocketwatch lies nearby in the sand; he sees it.

Researcher stretches his hand out towards it, but it’s just out of reach.

Behind him, the CREATURE floats above the flames of the burning house, a silhouette. Its glowing oval EYES fly open, locking directly on Researcher.

Researcher reaches harder for the pocketwatch. No dice.

A telekinetic force BLASTS the wooden beam off Researcher-

-The same force THRUSTS him into the air-

-Researcher floats helplessly.

The creature MOVES to Researcher at inhuman speeds and clutches his face. It’s INSPECTING HIM.

For a moment, there’s silence. The creature snorts into Researcher’s face.

Telekinetic powers release Researcher, and he plummets back towards the ground—

-And lands in the sand with a loud THUMP.

-The world is BLURRED and FUZZY and filled with RINGING. Researcher staggers to his feet. His pocketwatch lies behind him, forgotten.

MIB watches, a silhouette in the distance. Unmoving.

Researcher stretches his hand out towards him for help…

…But no help comes. Researcher collapses. He lies unconscious in the sand next to his pocketwatch, which GLISTENS in the flames…

SLOWLY FADE TO BLACK.


INT. BLACK SCREEN

SUPER:


POCKET MONSTERS

OPEN ON:


EXT. VIRIDIAN CITY – RAINY AFTERNOON


VIRIDIAN CITY, a tight maze of dirty buildings amid clouds and LIGHT RAIN.

SUPER:
Viridian City


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY – CONTINUOUS

The streets are no less rainy, but practically deserted. Two POKEMON TRAINERS run by with backpacks on their heads, laughing hysterically to each other.

They pass a MAN who walks down the street with a PARCEL in his hands. Shrewd. Stoic. Vigilant. This is DETECTIVE LOOKER. He’s heading for the POKEMON CENTER that’s just down the street.

Looker stops at an INTERSECTION. He turns to look at the VIRIDIAN GYM, which is now a pile of rubble behind Crime Scene Tape.

Someone in a black trenchcoat passes Looker. Looker glances at them as they pass. The Man in Black walks down the street. He glances back at Looker, then hurries off into the nearby alleyway.

Looker adjusts his overcoat. He walks away.


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – CONTINUOUS

Looker enters the VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER, which is dry and well lit. The bored CLERK at the desk listens to the radio as Looker approaches.


RADIO NETWORKING
In light of the recent attacks by
criminal organization Team Rocket,
authorities have-

The Clerk shuts off the radio as Looker approaches. He slides a card on the table.

LOOKER
I’m looking for a room.

The Clerk looks at the card.

CLERK
One-Hundred Kay-Ar…

LOOKER
Looker.

The Clerk frowns, but swipes the card anyway. She begins to punch things in.

CLERK
You’re a police officer?

LOOKER
Essentially.

CLERK
Essentially?

LOOKER
Essentially.

She slides him his card back, along with a ROOM KEY.

CLERK
Here's your key. Third room on
the second floor; checkout at
Noon sharp.

Looker takes the cards off the counter.

LOOKER
Much appreciated.

CLERK
No problem.

Looker nods and walks off.


INT. POKEMON CENTER ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Looker enters the POKEMON CENTER ROOM, which is all battered up and in serious need of some TLC. He sets the parcel on the DESK and flips the light switch. ONE OLD LIGHTBULB flickers on.

Looker sits down. He opens the parcel and removes several sheets of PAPER, a PEN, and a DUSTY LEATHER NOTEBOOK.


LOOKER (V.O.)
Case summary. The year 1996, encompassing
the three weeks from February 27th to March
19th. The current date is March 30th. I am
Detective Looker, an operant of the
International Police and the field agent
assigned to this case. Within this parcel,
you will find my complete testimony as
witness, along with the compiled evidence
I have gathered to validate these claims.

Thunder crashes outside. The window’s curtains are open. Looker puts down his pen. He gets up and walks over to draw them, but then he sees: OUTSIDE, the Man in Black stands. Looking up at his window.


EXT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – CONTINUOUS

Looker stares out of a second-story window, and pulls the thin curtains SHUT-

CUT TO:


EXT. PALLET TOWN – MORNING

It’s SUNNY. We see PALLET TOWN from above, a small village located amongst sprawling green fields and stunning waterfront property. In the distance, there’s a lighthouse.

SUPER:
Pallet Town


INT. PALLET TOWN – CONTINUOUS

The buildings of Pallet Town are scarce and quaint. Few reach above two stories.

A CATERPIE slowly climbs to a House-BELLSPROUT that sleeps curled up in an empty plant pot.

Several SPEAROW alight upon a cream/maroon colored sign standing in front of the woods- The PALLET TOWN ENTRANCE SIGN.


INT. RED’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

The bedroom is dark and cluttered. It's still morning. An ALARM CLOCK on a dresser RINGS…

…And wakes RED (11), who very much doesn’t want to be awoken. Red expertly SLAMS his hand down on the stop button-

-But it lands on a squeaky toy PYUKUMUKU instead. The ringing continues. Red sits up in his bed, confused. The alarm clock is all the way on the OTHER side of the desk. That’s by design.

Red inwardly groans: Are you kidding me? He tries to reach for it, but it’s too far-

-Red falls off the bed. He groans. He sits up. He tries to get up-

-But his feet catch on the YELLOW TENT on the floor-

-And he trips AGAIN. The alarm clock is still ringing.

Red pulls himself up to the dresser with his hands and reaches for the clock-

-And finally STOPS it. 7:30.

Beat. Red sits back against the dresser, exhausted.

A large commotion suddenly erupts outside Red's window. Red looks at the window. He shakes the tent off his feet and pulls himself off the floor.

At the window, Red parts the drapes-

OUTSIDE: BLUE (12), a loose-clothed, smug-faced boy with sandy hair, performs parlor tricks for a gang of whooping children. Blue finishes his juggling act and smugly bows to applause.

Nonplussed, Red shuts the drapes.


INT. RED’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Red tromps down the stairs and enters the LIVING ROOM. He wears a red/white SPORTS CAP on his head. DELIA, Red's mother (30's) talks on the phone as she washes dishes.


DELIA (Into Phone)
Yes. Yes, he did. At the market, no
less--

Red grabs an APPLE from a fruit bowl on the table as he passes it. A TELEVISION SET adjacent the dining table buzzes with static. Red kicks it, and the static is replaced with the image of four boys walking down railroad tracks. Delia jolts at the sound.

DELIA (Into phone)
Can I call you back?
(To Red)
Red!

Red spins. Delia looks at him from the kitchen.

DELIA
You startled me.

RED
Sorry. The TV, it--

DELIA
Wasn't working again, I know.

She shuts off the water and walks over. They both take a seat at the table.

RED'S MOTHER
I called some guy to fix it, but he wants me to
mail it in all the way to Saffron City. The nerve,
right?

RED
Yeah.

RED'S MOTHER
So, I'm going out for lunch today to
see an old family friend. Do you want
to come along?

RED
Who?

RED'S MOTHER
Do you remember Professor Oak? He was a friend
of your father's, he lives in that big building
towards the outskirts of town.

Red's face darkens at the sound of Professor Oak's name. He's hesitant to go there.

RED
No, I'm good. Thanks. I had something I was doing
today anyway.

RED'S MOTHER
And what might that be?

RED
Y'know... stuff.

Red's Mother 'hmms'. Outside, the sounds of Blue and his child-mob can be heard.

RED'S MOTHER
Well, if you change your mind, I'm leaving in
a couple of hours. It'd be nice if you came along.

Red straightens his hat and stands up.
RED
I'm good.

The phone rings on the counter. Delia quickly gets up and gets it.

DELIA (Into phone)
Yes, yes, I'm here now. They what?

Red grabs a KHAKI-COLORED BAG from the coat hanger.

He walks to the front door, but doesn't open it. Slowly, he parts the curtains next to it…

Outside, Blue makes an muffled declaration. He throws a STICK in the air. Red lets the curtains close before it lands. He takes a deep breath, and then lets it out. Time to face the music. He pulls the door open.


EXT. RED’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

The door to Red's house opens, and Red reluctantly steps out. He slowly walks down the porch steps. They CREAK as he goes.

BLUE, twirling his stick, approaches Red from the street.


BLUE
Yo, freakshow! Reddy-boy.

Red ignores him. he pulls his hat down over his face as he walks. Blue slaps him on the shoulder and shoves him towards the child-mob.

BLUE
Get over here, join the show!

Red adjusts his bag and begins to walk away from Blue again. He throws an apple core in the trash can as he passes.

BLUE
I'm sorry, what's that? Couldn't hear
you.

Blue's mockery is popular with the other kids. They hoot and jeer in approval.

BLUE
Delcatty got your tongue?

Red adjusts his hat to cover his face. Blue begins to walk after Red. Red walks faster.

BLUE
Bet it does. Hiding behind that hat
like a stinking coward-

Blue reaches over with the stick-

-And PLUCKS Red's hat right off his head. He dangles it in the air.

Red turns around and grabs for it. Blue mirthfully holds it out of his reach.


BLUE
What, this?

He waves the hat above Red.

BLUE
Ya want this back, ya gotta talk to
me.

The children laugh as Red jumps for the hat. Blue effortlessly holds it away from him.

BLUE
Just a couple of words, can't be that
hard-

-Blue sticks out his foot and TRIPS Red-

-He hits the ground hard.

Blue throws the hat to the child-mob. He picks Red up by the shirt, and pins him to the wall.


BLUE (Hushed)
Say it. 'I'm a stinking coward.'

Red remains silent.

BLUE
Say it!

He holds Red tighter.

BLUE
Say. It.

Red struggles to breath…

RED
-I'm-A-Stinking-Coward!

Blue releases him. Red gasps for breath.

BLUE
Good. Loser.

He leans in, just for a second-

BLUE (Hushed)
Gramps wants you over at his lab
tomorrow, but if you've got half a
brain in there you’re not gonna show
up. Got it?

Blue shoves him lightly and retreats. He takes the hat from a young boy and throws it at Red.

BLUE
Here. take your trash.
(To Child-Mob) C’mon, this is boring
now! Let’s go TP someone’s house!

Everyone cheers at that. Red, shaken, dusts off his hat and scampers off.

CUT TO:


OAK RANCH PATHWAY - AFTERNOON

Red walks down a dirt pathway surrounded by fields, past the football-field-sized glasshouse that is PROFESSOR OAK'S LABORATORY.

He gazes up at the glass building as he passes. It’s massive.


PALLET TOWN OUTSKIRTS – CONTINUOUS

A vibrant purple FLOWER grows outside the TALL GRASS.

In the distance, Red's bag leans against the PALLET TOWN ENTRANCE SIGN.

Red chucks Poke-ball sized STONES at a TARGET TREE located just a few meters from the tall grass and the LOOMING FOREST.

None of them are hitting.


PALLET TOWN OUTSKIRTS – SUNDOWN

The sky is now golden.

Red holds his last stone in his hand.

He closes his eyes and concentrates…

…And throws the stone-

-It soars over the tree and up into the canopy.

Flocks of PIDGEY fly away from the tree he hit and nearby ones.

Red leans back against the sign in defeat. He lets out a groan of frustration, and looks to the sky. He sees the STORM CLOUDS that are building on the horizon.

Red snatches his bag away from a bowl of stones as he walks back to Pallet Town…

CUT TO:


EXT. SAFFRON CITY - MIDDAY

A large metropolis of glittering skyscrapers and shining towers that only get larger until we see The SILPH COMPANY, crown jewel of the Kanto Region.

SUPER:
Saffron City – Capital of the Kanto Region


EXT. SILPH CO. BUILDING – CONTINUOUS

A BLACK TRUCK pulls up to the building's grand entrance. The Man in Black gets out of the front passenger's seat and heads through the massive front doors…


INT. SILPH CO. LOBBY – CONTINUOUS

…And walks into Silph Co.'s massive LOBBY- Larger than a ballroom. A FOUNTAIN of a Poke-ball forms the lobby's centerpiece.

NEWS CREWS gather around an empty STAGE near the far end of the room. MIB leans against one of the massive pillars supporting the roof, and watches from a distance.

Waiting…

…A VOLTORB, half red, half white, rolls onto the stage.

It COMBUSTS-

-Into dazzling FIREWORKS that sparkle and fizzle out above the crowd.

Applause. Cameras flash. MIB watches.

An elderly man in a suit walks onstage and basks in the deafening applause. This is the SILPH CO. DIRECTOR.

Director bends over, picks up the two halves of Voltorb, and clicks them back together.

He sets Voltorb on the ground, who comes to life and rolls circles around Director.

Quick as a flash, Director pulls a POKE-BALL from his belt and presses the button-

-Scarlet ropes of light shoot out of the ball and latch on Voltorb, who dissolves into white energy as the ropes whip back into the ball-

-Which closes.

Director dusts off his suit. He clips the Poke-ball back on his belt.


DIRECTOR
Good afternoon. What you just saw was
one of the Silph Company's most innovative
inventions to date.


INT. KANTO ROUTE ONE - MIDDAY

A field of TALL GRASS.

A YOUNGSTER crouches in the tall grass as he spies on a RATTATA gnawing on rocks in the field. There’s a Poke-ball in his hand.

-Youngster presses the button and THROWS the ball-

-That opens midair-

-Scarlet ropes of light consume Ratatta as it tries to flee-

-And the Poke-ball closes just as it lands.


DIRECTOR (V.O.)
The Poke-ball not only makes life with
the creatures we call Pokemon bearable,
but opens up a universe of possibilities.

Youngster runs over and scoops the Poke-ball up out of the grass as it LIGHTS UP BRIGHT WHITE-


INT. BATTLEGROUND – AFTERNOON

Rattata squares off on a cement field with a GROWLITHE. It DIVES through Growlithe's legs as Growlithe lunges with a mouth of FIRE-

-Rattata spins around and sinks its teeth into Growlithe's tail. It barely hangs on as Growlithe tries to shake it off, then scampers up its back.


DIRECTOR (V.O.)
We've perfected the ancient art of
the Pokemon battles…

Growlithe does a flip, but suddenly loses control as Rattata gets itself in Growlithe’s face—

-Growlithe crashes at the end of the battlefield. Rattata emerges from the fallen Growlithe victorious, and runs over to the Youngster as the other trainer attends to Growlithe.


INT. POKEMON CENTER – NIGHTTIME

Inside a POKEMON CENTER, glittering with lights and filled with People and Pokemon. Pokemon trainers feed their Pokemon from a table of POKEMON TREATS.


DIRECTOR (V.O.)
…And created technology that makes
standard healthcare obsolete.

A NURSE places six Poke-balls on a high-tech machine, which displays health data on the Pokemon inside…


INT. TRADING CENTER - AFTERNOON

Youngster, visibly older, approaches a six-sided TRADING CONSOLE. He places Ratatta's Poke-ball in an indent-

-And a burst of white data shoots up into the DATA stream protruding from the console…

…And a bright tangerine stream takes its place.

The Poke-ball lights up bright ORANGE


INT. ANOTHER TRADING CENTER – CONTINUOUS

Rattata's NEW Poke-ball rolls out onto a surface surrounded by a gang of whooping children, who snatch the Poke-ball.


INT. GRASSY HILL – SUNDOWN

The rowdy gang of children trade with a boy holding a BUG CATCHER'S NET: Rattata’s Poke-ball for a bag of RARE CANDIES.

YOUNGESTER JOEY smirks behind his sunglasses as he pockets the pokeball.


INT. SILPH CO. LOBBY – MIDDAY

This was all an AD on a large screen above the stage – Director clicks it off.


DIRECTOR
For years, Silph Co. has prided itself
on taking leaps of faith. Doing things
no other company would dare try.

Director clicks the remote. The screen now shows a clothed pedestal that sits on the stage.

DIRECTOR
And we're happy to continue that trend
with-

Director WHIPS the cloth off of-

DIRECTOR
-The Silph Scope.

-A bulky, goggle-like device.

Director takes it into his hands.


DIRECTOR
A device that makes the unseen-

Director presses the On-button and TOSSES the Silph Scope in the air-

-It catches the light, and suddenly the entire room is lit up like a PRISM. The device reveals a HAUNTER floating up above the stage, which laughs, makes a face, and then zips up through the roof.

The Scope falls, and Director catches it cleanly.


DIRECTOR
-Seen. A foolproof way to catch
ghost and psychic-types in any
environment!

Applause. Cameras flash.

DIRECTOR
Thank you! And don't forget to attend our
anniversary party three weeks from now,
where we have an even bigger surprise for
you all! Questions after the break.

Despite the applause, MIB is unmoving. He looks down at the poke-ball he holds in his own hands…

CUT TO:


INT. RED’S HOUSE – AFTER DARK

It’s storming out. Red walks in through the BACK DOOR, and kicks it closed behind him.


INT. RED’S HOUSE – LATER

Red and Delia sit at the table with the fruit bowl. A plate of spaghetti is in front of Red; nothing is in front of his mother, who reads a book. She looks over her book at Red.


DELIA
The lab was magnificent. You should've come.
Pokemon everywhere, it was like a little world
all cooped up in a building.

RED
I don't want to go.

DELIA
Why not? The professor said he wanted to see
you.

RED
People say he's a loon. They say he
sits around in that kooky building of
his on the other side of town, tinkering
around with crazy lab experiments.

He's lying, and Delia can tell.

DELIA
He's a famous researcher! Those are
ghost stories. Now tell me the real
reason.

RED (mumbling)
He's A famous researcher with a grandson
who wants me dead.


DELIA
No-one wants you dead!

RED
Blue does.


DELIA
Blue is a child.

RED
Blue’s a psychopath! He'll have me
gutted if I go within a hundred feet
of that laboratory!


DELIA
Well, you can't live your life in fear of
an eleven-year-old boy! He's your age,
sometime you'll have to--

RED
He's twelve.

DELIA
Hmm?

RED
Blue's twelve, not eleven. He's twelve and he
gets the run of the town, because he's the
professor's grandson. And he hates my guts.

DELIA
Have you tried standing up to him?

RED
So he can run me into another wall? Sounds
like a plan.

DELIA
Sometimes there are going to be things in life
that scare you, or threaten to beat you down.
Are you going to let them, or are you going to
stand up for yourself? Remember what your father
used to say: "Might Makes Right."

Red sighs.

RED
I remember.

Red's Mother rises from the table and takes Red's empty plate.

DELIA
You should get some sleep.

Red gets up from the table, and snatches his hat. He clutches it tightly as he heads up the stairs.


INT. RED'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Red marches into his room, throwing his hat on the bed. He rewinds his alarm clock, sets it on the far end of the desk, and sits down on his bed.

He idly inspects his hat in thought. He looks at the inside, where there is an engraving on the back:


Might Makes Right

Red scoffs.

RED
Sure.

Red sets his cap on the dresser over the squeaky toy pyukumuku, and then tucks himself in bed.

Lightning crashes outside--


LOOKER (V.O.)
Red. The son of the former pokemon champion, who
disappeared almost five years ago along with his
rival. My contact with the boy has been limited and
infrequent, but from the witness accounts of others
I have managed to conclude that he was a crucial
part of bringing the Team Rocket case to a close.

CUT TO:


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – STORMY EVENING

Looker writes on the page with his pen. Besides him is a CHARRED HALF of Red's cap.


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY STREET - NIGHTTIME

A quiet, dry night in Viridian City. Detective Looker digs through a trash can under a streetpost.


LOOKER (V.O.)
I was only able to recover what remains of his
trainer's uniform, from a trash can in Viridian
City.


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – STORMY EVENING

Looker continues to write, unfettered by the storm outside.

LOOKER (V.O.)
But despite my best efforts, I have not yet been
able to find or interview him.

Looker pauses, then puts down the pen. All is silent.

Thunder crashes again. The unlatched window FLIES open-

The incoming wind sends papers soaring. Looker jumps up from his seat and runs to shut the window…

…The Dusty Leather Journal BLOWS OPEN, its pages blowing with the wind-

-Looker shuts the window, and this time he latches it. He collects the upset papers, and sets them on the desk. Then he flattens out the ruffled pages of the journal.

CUT TO:


INT. PEWTER CITY – MIDDAY

It’s the cloudy, mountain-surrounded, gemstone-ridden landscape of PEWTER CITY, and the place is simply teeming with monochromatic MINERS and MINER POKEMON dressed in dirty, dusty overalls.

SUPER:
Pewter City – Mining Town

But not DR. JOHN SMITH FUJI (30's). He's dressed smartly, in bright colors that make him stick out like a sore thumb against the very grey crowd.

Fuji carries a leather-bound JOURNAL with him. Notes are practically falling out of it.

In fact, one falls to the ground. It’s a BLUEPRINT. Fuji picks it up and stuffs it back in the notebook. Then he continues on his way, pushing past a pair of gravelers carrying a large metal BEAM.

His destination: The grand, domed PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE.


INT. PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE - CONTINUOUS

Fuji walks into the Pewter University of Science, bustling with all sorts of educated people and pokemon. A GYARADOS skeleton eternally pursues a school of fossilized MAGIKARP hung from the inside of the dome.

The Man in Black - leaning against a wall - looks up as Fuji passes.

Fuji sits on a wooden bench. He sets his journal aside.

He takes out his POCKETWATCH. Opens it. Checks something. Closes it and puts it away.

Fuji spreads his blueprints, looking through them as he waits.


SECRETARY (O.S.)
Appointment for Dr. John Smith Fuji?

Fuji looks up. A SECRETARY stands outside the door to a side OFFICE.

FUJI
Ah, yes-- That’s me--

He scrambles to get all his blueprints in order, before hurrying in the door.

The Man in Black watches him as he goes. His face is unreadable.


INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The MANAGER audibly sighs as Dr. Fuji enters his office. Fuji takes a seat opposite Manager and sets his journal on the desk.

He opens it. The blueprints lay neatly folded inside. Fuji slides it over to Manager, who looks it over.


MANAGER
You’re here for another funding
grant.

FUJI
If I could just convince you--

MANAGER
Stop trying.

Manager slides the journal back to Fuji.

MANAGER
I heard about… what happened. You
have my condolences.

Under the desk, Fuji clutches his pocketwatch.

FUJI
Thank you for that.

MANAGER
However… We are still picking up the
pieces of your last endeavor. Big scandal,
that one. Do you have any idea how much
bad press we’ve had to endure for that?

FUJI
This academy rode on the coattails of
my biological research. I think I’d
have a little more leeway with the
company.

MANAGER
You blew up a lab. We covered your
behind. That’s leeway enough.
(Cont’d)
And we haven’t even begun to broach
upon your recent spending record, Doctor.
You’ve amassed something of a reputation
as a reckless spender here. A reckless
spender without any results to show for
it.

FUJI
My last few projects were missteps
in more ways than one. That’s true.
But I have double-checked the math,
the science is sound… I’m really
faithful in this one. This is the one.

He slides the journal towards Manager again. Manager looks at it like it’s radioactive.

MANAGER
Be that as it may…

Manager gets up from his desk. He walks over to Fuji's side.

MANAGER (Cont’d)
We at the Pewter Academy of Science
no longer have the funds nor the
drive nor the confidence to pour
into your machinations.

He puts his hands on Fuji’s seat. But Fuji connects the dots.

FUJI
You’re firing me?

MANAGER
Bluntly speaking.

FUJI
You can’t fire me. There would be
social uproar--

MANAGER
Keeping you in the academy is
causing social uproar. Haven’t you
read the newspapers?

He pulls Fuji’s chair out, and Fuji with it.

MANAGER
Good day, Doctor Fuji. I can’t say
it’s been a pleasure doing business
with you.

CUT TO:


INT. RED’S BEDROOM – RAINY SUNRISE

The alarm clock rings, LOUDLY. Rain lashes against the windowpane of Red's bedroom.

Red wearily sits up in his bed. He gropes his hat over the toy pyukumuku tiredly, then remembers about the alarm clock. He stands up, reaches over, and stops it.

7:30.

Slowly, Red walks across the room. He steps over the tent, but trips on a belt of unused poke-balls right after and hits the floor-


RED
Ow!


OAK RANCH PATHWAY – CONTINUOUS

The rain has lightened up.

Red walks down a dirt pathway surrounded by fields, past the football field-sized glasshouse that is PROFESSOR OAK'S LABORATORY.

He gazes up at the glass building as he passes…

…And suddenly dives into the field opposite the lab.

Red peeks over the crops, and watches as BLUE exits through the Lab's front doors.

He picks up a stick, looks around, and begins to walk down the path AWAY from Red.

Red breathes a sigh of relief.


EXT. OAK’S LABORATORY - CONTINUOUS

Red approaches the massive building. It looms ominously above him. A wooden door is the only entrance to the otherwise metal building.

Red stares at it for a few minutes…

…But then shoulders his bag. He can't. He leaves the area.


PALLET TOWN OUTSKIRTS – CLOUDY MORNING

The rain has stopped. It's still cloudy. Water drips off the leaves of a vibrant PURPLE FLOWER, before-

-An ELDERLY HAND SNIPS the stem. The flower shudders, and falls to the ground.

In the distance, RED walks towards the Pallet Town Entrance Sign.

Red drops his bag by the Entrance Sign and grabs a stone from the ground.

There’s a sudden FLUTTERING from above. Red looks upwards to see several SPEAROW watching him intently from the treetops. They all stare at him intently.

Red ignores them, and throws a stone anyway. It soars into the canopy and makes FLOCKS OF THEM scatter.

PROFESSOR OAK, an elderly man in a lab coat, carefully places the snipped purple flower inside a PLASTIC BAG. He rises to his feet to witness the flock of screeching spearow fly away from the tree.

Red returns to the Target Tree with another stone. He steadies his aim. This time.

A Spearow flies back to the Target Tree. Then another. And another.

Red shoots them a glance, but then returns to his exercise.

More Spearow return to the tree. One hops steadily closer to the target zone. It pecks at the carved "X…"

Red throws the stone directly at the Target Tree. It HITS the Spearow square in the beak. The spearow falls to the ground, lifeless.

Red opens his eyes. He sees the fallen Spearow. Slowly, he approaches it as it lies lifelessly on the ground…

…The Spearow opens its eyes and lets out a bloodcurdling SCREECH as it flaps madly on the ground. A downpour of countless Spearow suddenly engulfs Red. He makes a mad dash for the ENTRANCE SIGN and ducks behind it-

-The birds find and attack him anyway. Red uses the bowl that held the stones as a shield against them, but to little avail. He cries out wordlessly for help.

…The Spearow attack Red mercilessly from above as Oak arrives at the clearing-

-Oak shields his face and draws a Poke-ball from his belt. He throws it-

-Scarlet ropes of light give form to a tiger-striped GROWLITHE.

Red sees the Growlithe and DUCKS-

-As the Growlithe hurls a ball of FIRE at the Spearow-

-And BLOWS the Entrance Sign to pieces.

The Spearow scatter, squawking.

Red sits up among the singed remains of the Entrance Sign. Professor Oak returns the Growlithe.


OAK RANCH PATHWAY – EARLY MORNING

The sun is shining. Oak and Red walk down a dirt pathway surrounded by fields.

RED
You're Professor Oak? The Professor
Oak?

Red quickens his pace to catch up.

RED
You're not some loon with withering
grey hair… I -I mean, you still have
grey hair, but you're not a loon…
Right?

OAK
…Is that what people say about me?

Red looks down at the ground. Awkward.

RED
Some do.

Beat. Silence between them as they walk.

OAK
Amusing.

They walk for a bit more.

OAK
Say, what were you doing out there? A
boy your age should know it's not safe to
be that far outside the towns without a
pokemon of your own for protection.

RED
I was... Target practice. Good thing to do
outside of the town all day.

OAK
Outside of the town, you say? And you do this
a lot?

RED
Yeah. Every day.

OAK
Any particular reason you want to get out
of the town?

RED
I... just like the scenery. That's all.

That's not all, and they both know it.

OAK
Hmm. Well, I think I may have something for you
that will help you a lot with your... scenery
viewing. Why don't you accompany me back to my
lab?

Before Red can answer, Oak points ahead.

OAK
Ah, there it is.

Oak briskly walks ahead as they reach the lab. It looms above Red, almost ominously.

Oak tries to unlock the door, but realizes it's already open. He mutters something inaudible to himself, and walks inside.

He steps back out when he realizes Red isn't following.


OAK
What are you waiting for? Come on in.

Red slowly follows him through…

INT. PROFESSOR OAK’S LAB – CONTINUOUS

…And steps into another world.

Various conflicting habitats of nature impossibly co-exist within the plant-lined walls of the laboratory, filled with Pokemon of all shapes and sizes that run amok. Red takes it all in, awestruck.

A giant ARCANINE runs through a grassy field to greet Professor Oak, who halts it with his hand. Oak releases the Growlithe from its poke-ball, which runs up to the Arcanine.

Oak gestures to Red, who walks forward. Oak guides his hand to the Arcanine's nose. The Arcanine presses up against and nuzzles Red’s hand.

A bird pokemon calls out from high above. Red looks up to see-

-A massive movement of BUTTERFREE cover a grove of trees, as PIDGEY and PIDGEOTTO and a lone PIDGEOT circle around the large glass top of the dome. Red stares upwards, transfixed.

He quickly snaps out of his trance, and follows Oak into a forested grove surrounding a small CAVE. Red lifts his foot to let a SANDSLASH and her SANDSHREW young pass.

He gawks at an elevated den of PICHU. A RAICHU huddles over its young protectively. What looks like a patch of grass splits into several ODDISH to reveal a dormant GLOOM.

A PARAS scuttles from its perch on the rocky wall, under several large yellow pot-like plants, attached to the wall by vines. Red extends his hand toward one—

-It SNAPS at him. Red recoils. Oak looks over at him.


OAK
Don’t touch the victreebel. They bite.

Red walks over to where Oak is. He stands in front of an aquatic habitat full of miniature POLIWAG, which swim to the surface

He sprinkles a kelp-like weed into the water; the Poliwag swim around the weeds, eating them.


OAK
Poliwag.

Oak stands up, and continues.

Red and Oak walk onto a wooden bridge spanning a deep lake. Red leans over the side of the bridge to see schools of MAGIKARP and HORSEA and TENTACOOL swimming in the lake.

A dark shape appears in the water…

…Red stands back, as a colossal GYARADOS leaps out of the water to catch a low-flying PIDGEY that soars out of its reach.


OAK
Gyarados. Lord of the seas.

The Gyarados plunges back into the lake with a colossal splash, drenching both Red and Oak in water. Oak doesn’t even flinch.

OAK
My office is up ahead. Come along.

Oak walks down the path through a saffron-colored field of grass. Red gawks at several DOUDO and DODRIO, duos and trios of heads feeding in the grass.

Finally, they reach the end of the Lab, where a thick curtain to Oak's office lies. Oak parts it and walks in, and after one last look at the scenery, Red-


INT. OAK’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

-Parts the curtain as he enters Oak's office. It’s little more than a glorified tent.


OAK
Have a seat.

Red sits down. Outside, pokemon call lazily.

OAK
You're probably wondering why I brought
you here.

RED
I'm wondering why you didn't bring me
here sooner.

Oak leans back in his seat.

OAK
If only others could share your
enthusiasm. The truth is… I had a
dream. A rather disturbing one,
actually. In this dream, there
was a man who had a dream of his
own. It was a dream long abandoned,
but one never forgotten. See, he'd
turned his back on it. He'd locked
it away, done whatever he could to
get it out of his sight. He was too
scared to even think about going
through with it, so he didn’t. Soon,
the man had grown old and feeble,
but his entire life was haunted -
dictated even, by one thing. What if
he had? What if, instead of putting
his lost dream out of sight, he'd set
out and accomplished what he had
meant to do? Taken a leap of faith? I
knew I couldn’t let this dream I had
become reality, so I decided to
bring you here instead.

Avian shrieks. Wings flap. The panicked screams of a twelve-year-old. Blue.

BLUE (O.S.)
Ger'off me, you stupid bird!

Seconds later, Blue enters the office, holding a parcel.

BLUE
'Sup, gramps. Got your package or
whatever.

He leers at Red, who glowers back. Clearly, they loathe each other.

BLUE
So. You did come.

He shoves past Red, whispering in passing-

BLUE
-You'll pay, loser-

-And leans against a large wooden beam supporting the tent-office.

BLUE
Gotten enough of Gramps' zoo yet? If
he wasn't such a loon he'd know by now
that it gets lame after the first ten
minutes.

Oak audibly sighs.

OAK
Good morning, Blue.

Blue throws the package on the desk. Oak winces at the thud.

BLUE
So, Gramps. gonna rip me one of them
Pok-e-mans, or what?

OAK
There's a time and place for everything-

BLUE
-Come on, Gramps, not this again-

OAK
-Not now.

BLUE
Fine.

Oak opens the package and pulls out two candy red devices. He sets one on the desk and opens the other, showing off its many DIALS and BUTTONS.

OAK
This is a high-tech encyclopedia,
capable of recording scientific data
with a single scan. I call it "The
Pokedex." Together, I want the two of
you to travel throughout our home
region, and perform a scan of all
one-hundred and fifty-one species
of pokemon native to here. And to
help you along your way…

Red and Blue look less-than-happy about the prospect of working together on something.

Oak pulls out a BOX from under the table. Inside it are three poke-balls – one lit up ORANGE, one lit up BLUE, and one lit up GREEN.


OAK
Inside each of these, a different
Pokemon lies dormant. You may both
take one, and only one.
(Cont’d)
Blue. You first…

But Blue waves Oak off.

BLUE
Nah. Reddy-Boy can choose his first.

Red is suspicious. But he goes along with it anyway. His hand lingers over the poke-ball lit up green…

…But he takes the one lit up orange instead.

Quickly, Blue snatches the Poke-ball lit up blue-


BLUE
Dibs!

He smirks, and leans over to Red-

BLUE
-Water beats Fire. Every. Time.

Blue takes a Pokedex from the table. He pushes past Red.

OAK
Make sure you use it, Blue-

BLUE
Yeah yeah, Smell ya, Gramps.

-Blue leaves the tent. Oak sighs after he's gone.

OAK
I hope the journey mellows him out. Other
kids his age... it usually does.

He taps the last pokedex on the table.

OAK
You take this, you use this... but more importantly,
you stand up for yourself. You don't let it
consume you, but you stand up to your enemies.
Don't let yourself get trampled on. Do you
understand?

Red nods. He takes the pokedex.

RED
I understand.

OAK
Good. I wish you well on your journey.

Red gets up from his seat, and follows after Blue. Oak simply reclines in his chair.

CUT TO:


INT. SILPH CO. LOBBY – AFTERNOON

It’s the AFTERPARTY. Everyone is talking and conversing in the lobby, and news cameras are still recording the event. The Man in Black decides its finally time to make his move.

He presses the button on the poke-ball he holds, then sets it on the floor and rolls it off.

Slowly, he walks towards the center of the lobby. Attention becomes focused on him.

MiB raises his arms…

The poke-ball OPENS, and a MAGNEMITE comes out. It knows what to do – it unleashes an electrical attack, and all the news cameras suddenly SHATTER-


EXT. SILPH CO. BUILDING – CONTINUOUS

The Black Truck sits outside the Silph Co. headquarters. It never left. On its side is a bright red “R”.

Bang. The back doors open. Three men in black uniforms jump out of the truck's back. They are members of TEAM ROCKET, the villainous crime organization that is a growing threat to the Kanto Region.

Two of the three Rocket agents set a CASE on the ground. These are SCARFACE and RAGSKIN. Scarface opens the case, and Ragskin removes a VOLTORB from it.


INT. SILPH CO. LOBBY – CONTINUOUS

The lobby is chaos. People and pokemon are panicking and creating a scene. MiB stands in the middle of it, immoving.

…The Metal Detector beeps as a Voltorb rolls through it…

…And EXPLODES into a mass of smoke-

The three Rocket grunts advance through the smoke and enter the lobby. They head for the stage. The crowd makes a wide berth for them in fear.

Rocket Three spins on his heels, grabs a Poke-ball from his belt, and releases an eight-foot, serpentine ARBOK that HISSES at the guests menacingly. That keeps them in line.

Scarface and Ragskin advance to the stage, and Scarface removes the Silph Scope.

MIB stands unflinchingly as the Rocket Agents walks back down the stairs. Once they pass he turns to follow them.

The Arbok hisses again as it follows the Rockets out of the building.

EXT. SILPH CO. BUILDING – CONTINUOUS

The Rocket Agents quickly exit the building and climb into the truck. Scarface hands MIB the Silph Scope.

MIB admires it for a second, then climbs into the truck as it drives off.

In the distance, POLICE SIRENS can be heard…

CUT TO:

EXT. OAK’S LABORATORY - AFTERNOON

Blue violently pins Red to the wall of the Lab.


BLUE
I told you not to show up-

Blue punches. Red dodges.

BLUE
-Told ya you were gonna pay-

Blue punches again. Red scrambles to the side, but Blue grabs his arms.

BLUE
-Not so fast, Reddy-boy-

He shoves Red close and center.

BLUE
We're not done yet.

Blue grasps Red's shirt collar.

BLUE
Go ahead. Say it. You know the words.
I'm. A. Stinking. Coward.

Red KICKS Blue in the leg. Blue staggers back and hunches. Red falls on his behind. He's surprised despite himself.

Red rises from his sitting position. He walks up to Blue.


RED
You think you're so much better than
everyone else.

He draws the Poke-ball Oak gave him and holds it up to Blue.

RED
Prove it.

Blue looks up. He’s grinning – was this what he wanted all along?

BLUE
Thaaat's more like it, Reddy-boy.

Blue takes several steps back. He expertly throws his Poke-ball into the air-

-Scarlet ropes of light give shape to a turtle-like SQUIRTLE that effortlessly sticks a landing.

Red throws his Poke-ball…

…It lands on the ground. Lifelessly.


BLUE
Press the button, you dunce!

RED
I did-

The Poke-ball bursts open-

-And sends a lizard-like CHARMANDER face-first into the dirt.

Red falls back in surprise. Charmander peels its face from the ground, and locks eyes with Red for the first time…


BLUE
Charge!

…Squirtle LUNGES at Charmander and sends it rolling backwards into the ground.

Squirtle pounces-

-Trades blows with Charmander-

-Charmander rolls over and spits a FIREBALL into Squirtle's face.

-Squirtle falls back-

-Charmander scampers the other way…

…Squirtle flips back upwards-

-And shoots from its mouth several blasts of WATER-

-Charmander dodges-

-Red DUCKS-

-Water bullets rattle the Lab's walls.

…Charmander scampers and scurries-

-Over and under-

-One-

-Two-

-THREE Water blasts-

-Moving closer to Squirtle-

-Charmander takes a swipe for Squirtle, who ducks into its shell and pops out.

Squirtle headbutts Charmander-

Charmander stumbles back-

-Squirtle SPINS-

-And trips Charmander backwards-

-Who rolls onto all fours and scampers away…


BLUE
Finish it!

Red picks himself up from his ducking spot on the ground.

Charmander runs across the dusty plain…

…Squirtle stands up.

Charmander runs faster.

Squirtle fires a water bullet-

-That collides with Charmander-

-Sends it skidding across the ground-

-Until it arrives at Red's feet.

Unconscious.

Blue presses the Poke-ball's button, and scarlet ropes of light consume Squirtle. He hooks his Poke-ball to his belt as he walks over to Red, who cradles Charmander in his arms.


BLUE
Pathetic. I -I knew you were a wimp,
but…

He scoffs.

BLUE
…Go home. Just… Go home. Before you
get hurt or something.

Beat. Red stands up, holding Charmander.

BLUE
The world ain't like Pallet Town,
Reddy-boy. Might makes right out there.
And you clearly can't handle it.

Red looks at Blue loathingly.

BLUE
But hey. If you don't die first, you
might catch me in Pewter. Smell ya,
dunce.

With that, Blue strides down the dusty path. Away from Red.

INT. RED’S HOUSE - LATER

Red enters his house through the back door. He slams Charmander's POKE-BALL on the counter, and tromps up the stairs to his room.

INT. RED’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

Red stuffs the Yellow Tent into his bag. He starts to leave…

…but stops before he trips over the belt of Poke-balls.

Red puts that in his bag too.

INT. RED’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Red tromps down the stairs and heads for the door. He grabs Charmander’s Poke-ball on the counter.

Red walks through the FRONT DOOR, out into the streets of Pallet Town.

He disappears down a corner, and doesn’t come back.

CUT TO:

INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – RAINY EVENING

Looker writes furiously with his pen. On the desk, the JOURNAL lies wide open…

CUT TO:

INT. PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE – DAYTIME

Dr. Fuji sits on the wooden bench. He drops his notebook and all his blueprints beside him.

He opens the pocketwatch again, but we don’t see what’s inside.


MIB (O.S.)
Doctor Fuji, I presume?

Fuji is startled. He closes the pocketwatch, and looks at where the voice came from: The Man in Black stares down at him…

CUT TO BLACK.

Deadlights - Benjamin Wallfisch
Paper Boat - Benjamin Wallfisch
Rituals - James Newton Howard
Blood on My Hands - James Newton Howard
Dragon Racing - John Powell
Travel Delays - Alan Silvestri
Inside the Case - James Newton Howard
Sorrento Makes an Offer - Alan Silvestri
Dragon Training - John Powell
Bicameral Mind - Ramin Djawadi

The Pokemon Mansion.jpg

Cinnabar Island, Pokemon Mansion

The Destroyed Viridian Gym.jpg

The Ruined Viridian Gym

Pallet Town Sundown.jpg

Pallet Town at Sundown
 
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canisaries

you should've known the price of evil
Location
Stovokor
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. inkay-shirlee
  2. houndoom-elliot
  3. yamask-joanna
  4. shuppet
  5. deerling-andre
Hello there! I'm here for Catnip. This is the first time I've read and reviewed a screenplay-type story, so there was a bit of a medium shock to me, but I think I managed to follow along fine nonetheless.

I'm gonna have to be honest and say that I think this story has a few issues weighing it down, so apologies in advance for a mostly negative review. I hope I'll be able to be constructive and helpful with my points, though.

At the start of the story, I can see the influences of Detective Pikachu, and it does come across much like a movie or show you could actually imagine existing. We begin the Mewtwo plot, which is a popular one to adapt, and get introduced to Fuji and someone whom I assume is Giovanni. After that, I was surprised to see Looker introduced, but it does make sense for him to be investigating these things as part of the international police.

Giovanni then makes his second appearance, and it's at this point that I start to feel his portrayal doesn't necessarily make sense. He bumps into Looker, seemingly on purpose, and then stares at him. This feels petty coming from someone who's supposed to be a coolly cruel criminal mastermind, and over the course of the chapter I kept wondering why he always shows up to places in person when he has an entire criminal organization worth of grunts he could be utilizing instead, saving himself the trouble and risk of doing these ground level things himself. Furthermore, he's shown his face multiple times (it's impossible for him to keep his face constantly obscured from all viewpoints with his fedora if he actually wants to see what's happening) and at the end links it to the criminal organization of Team Rocket. It just seems like a very risky and poorly thought out move on Giovanni's part, which makes him a lot less menacing.

Then we get to meet out protagonist, Red. It seems like life really sucks for him, with a mom that doesn't care about the fact that he's very clearly being bullied and instead cares more about him trying to use the back door instead of the front, which seems like a very minor thing to be upset about your kid doing. If there actually was no back door in the house and Red tried sneaking out of a window, that'd make a lot more sense, since windows are supposed to be kept clean and the drop can be dangerous and so on.

It's then that Blue is introduced, and he comes across pretty much like a stereotypical bully. Red is established as someone who doesn't dare to stand up for himself against a group of kids who aren't afraid to get physical, which is pretty sensible, to be honest, as there's no way he would win that fight. I do question how no one's arrested these kids if it's widely known that they go around defacing people's property, but as the concept of TPing doesn't even exist in my country, I'm not really someone to make judgments on its portrayal.

The next couple of scenes I don't really have anything to say about - though I'll say I thought the Silph Co. press conference presentation thing worked well - so jumping to the Fuji part, which is sandwiched by two Looker segments. Both scenes made sense on their own, but it's their juxtaposition that has me a bit confused. Originally I didn't notice that the time frames for these scenes were different, so I was confused about how this seemed to imply that Looker has a copy of the same journal as Fuji, when a journal having a copy makes no sense - although copies of printed documents would. Either way, I noticed now upon rereading that these events don't take place at the same time (unless Kanto is absolutely massive), so it makes more sense for Looker to have Fuji's notebook - but this also makes it very vague how much time has passed between these events, and how the other scenes involving Fuji relate to the timeline of the main narrative.

It's possible, also, that these journals are not the same, but focusing on two leather journals that aren't differentiated between two interwoven scenes strongly implies they are.

Moving on: Red is throwing stones at the tree again and manages to piss off a flock of Spearow, referencing the anime. Oak comes in and saves Red and finally brings him to the lab that Red's been interested in but too scared to enter before because of Blue. This makes for a nice change of pace in comparison to what else we've seen of Red, which is him being beaten down by the world in a lot of ways. I like the imagery of all the Pokémon and Oak guiding Red to pet the Arcanine specifically. Unfortunately, this niceness ends as soon as Blue comes in and it's kind of Red gets crapped on hours after that again until the end.

This scene, I think, struck me as the most unrealistic. It's very strange of Oak to give his grandson, who is a notorious bully, brat and overall unproductive - destructive, even - member of society, a Pokédex and a Pokémon. The Pokédex would mean Oak assumes this kid won't just instantly throw the thing away after like 20 minutes of playing with it since he seems completely uninterested in both Pokémon and doing favors for people, and the Pokémon is a powerful magical monster that needs someone responsible to take care of it and absolutely not use for nefarious purposes. Neither of these traits seem to describe Blue at all, so Oak comes across as extremely irresponsible. Oak doesn't reprimand Blue's behavior almost at all, nor does he apologize to Red or even explain something about why Blue is this much of a little bastard. There could have been a good opportunity to flesh out Blue more by Oak explaining to Red that Blue does things for attention or he's trying to feel in control by bossing people around because his parents are divorcing and he feels helpless or something.

After this, Red goes outside and Blue attempts to literally physically assault him, but they end up having a Pokémon battle instead. Red loses, is humiliated once again, and even Blue takes pity on him and spews some crap about how Red needs to be strong to survive in this world as if he wasn't constantly wasting resources by TPing peoples houses like an idiot. Blue leaves while I wish the Mew Truck would suddenly show up and run him over.

I know it's kind of rude to tell someone else how to tell their story, but I think it would have made for a better hook to actually have Red win. He's been the universe's dog toy the entire chapter, rather passively as well, and something like that can kill reader engagement if done too much. If we always know Red is going to get screwed over no question and he's not really going to do anything about it except maybe cry, we won't root for him anymore as it just seems like a lost cause. A win would show that Red isn't all helpless, that there actually is hope and a reason to root for him.

Red winning the battle would also allow the Charmander to stay conscious and let Red him bond it afterwards. Bonding with your Pokémon companion is a very strong part of the franchise's charm, but in this episode, Pokémon mostly seem to play the part of background props or tools rather than creatures to form friendships with.

Finally, we get two short scenes, one with Looker and one with Fuji. The Looker one, to me, seems kind of out of place. Looker hadn't made an appearance after like the halfway point, and now shows up for what would be a second or two until cutting away again. I think it'd be better if he made a call or something to make the scene just a bit longer so it wouldn't feel like a quick reminder of "hey, remember this person also".

As for what Giovanni is seeing Fuji for at the end, I don't know. They already seemed to be working together at the start of the story, and the lab explosion is referenced in the Fuji bit in the middle, meaning it took place before it already. My best guess is that Giovanni is upset about Fuji not getting a grant or something.

Okay, that's the story and the characters. I still had a few minor notes on other stuff like the writing, so I'll go over those quickly.

Its flickering oval EYES fly open, locking directly on Researcher.

"Flickering" in reference to eyes makes me think of fluttering eyelids, and I'm not sure if that's the meaning you wanted or if you wanted to express that the light in Mewtwo's lights was flickering instead, in which case you'd want some clearer wording.

The Clerk shuts off the radio as Looker approaches. He slides a card on the table.

The clerk's gender/pronoun has not yet been established as female, so this "he" seems to refer to the clerk as she was the one that started the paragraph and would so be focus of the paragraph by default.

CLERK
I know someone who works in that
profession. Aaall the way in Saffron
City. Haven’t heard back in a while.
To be honest I get a bit worried
nowadays.

LOOKER
Sometimes, your feelings hold you
back.

CLERK
Sometimes, they can save your life.

I'm not sure if this is meant to be some kind of code, since I don't understand how the first comment naturally leads into the second.

A CATERPIE slowly climbs to a House-BELLSPROUT that sits in the potted plant of a second-story window…

This is a nice image, but it's kind of terrifying if thought about for longer. Is this Bellsprout forced to sit in the same spot despite specifically having root-legs to move? Can it even get down safely from that window? Is it trapped there?

RED RED’S MOTHER
Mom. …Yes, kids can be a handful-

Mom. (To Red)

MOM! What is it?!

Is this how these quick dialogues are normally formatted in screenplays? It was pretty hard to read - if any line was longer than a sentence, it would be ambiguous where one's line ends and where the other's starts, and screenplays are meant to be as clear as possible, as I understand it.

Flocks of PIGEY

*PIDGEY

a RATATTA

*RATTATA

This one was misspelled in every instance I saw, while the Pidgey was just the one time.

Red gets up from the table, and snatches his hat. He thrusts it on the floor as he heads up the stairs.

He gets his hat... to throw it on the floor?

Not DR. JOHN SMITH FUJI. Bright colors. Dressed smartly. He sticks out like a splendidly dressed sore thumb amongst the very grey crowd.

I genuinely cannot understand what the "Not" at the beginning means here. Is he not an actual doctor? Is this person not actually Dr. Fuji?

Another more minor criticism is that John Smith Fuji is a very strange name to have. It would make much more sense for someone with a Japanese surname to also have Japanese first names. It's not impossible to have a combination name, but "John Smith" just seems as American as you can get.

His destination: The grand, domed PEWTER ACADEMY OF SCIENCE.

INT. PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE - CONTINUOUS

Fuji walks into the Pewter City Academy of Science,

Place name is different three times?

An ELDERLY HAND SNIPS the stem. The flower shudders, and falls to the ground.

The flower... shudders? Before it falls? I don't understand.

Je closes his eyes as he steadies his aim…

*He, and I don't get why he's expecting to hit anything with his eyes closed.

…Red throws the stone directly at the Target Tree. It HITS the Spearow square in the beak. The spearow falls to the ground, lifeless.

Red opens his eyes. He sees the fallen Spearow. Slowly, he approaches it as it lies lifelessly on the ground…

…The Spearow opens its eyes and lets out a bloodcurdling SCREECH as it flaps madly on the ground. A downpour of countless Spearow suddenly engulfs Red. He makes a mad dash for the ENTRANCE SIGN and ducks behind it-

"Lifeless" is used twice in quick succession, and it sounds misleadingly literal in this context.

The Black Truck sits outside the Silph Co. headquarters. It never left. On its side is a bright red “R”.

This feels cartoony if they're trying to be incognito. Or are they there to specifically make a statement?

Slowly, dementedly, he walks towards the center of the lobby.

Demented means "behaving irrationally due to anger, distress, or excitement", and none of this seems to fit the situation and the character.

serpentine ARBOK
turtle-like SQUIRTLE
lizard-like CHARMANDER

These descriptors are redundant. They're unnecessary for the people that know what these Pokémon are, and they're not enough information for someone that would have to imagine these just based on those adjectives.

Alright, that's everything. Sorry again for the negativity. I hope this was still helpful.
 
Season One - Episode Two

SparklingEspeon

Back on Her Bullshit
Staff
Location
a Terrace of Indeterminate Location in Snowbelle
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. fennekin
  3. zoroark
INT. MAIN TITLES

A desk of doodles and drawings and outlines, all on blue paper. Blueprints.

Mechanical parts lay organized, spread out on a separate bench.

Old, wrinkled hands pick up the parts…

…Clicking some together…

…Screwing others in…

…Welding metal together…

…Until the sleek red and white shell of a POKE-BALL sits on the desk…

…And lights up.

SUPER:


POCKET MONSTERS

BASED ON

THE GAMES

BY

NINTENDO

AND

GAME FREAK


EPISODE TWO

"REVERBERATIONS"



CUT TO BLACK.



~~~~~~~~~~~~



MIB (V.O.)

Dr. Fuji, I presume?

OPEN ON:


INT. PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE – DAYTIME


DR. FUJI looks up. The MAN IN BLACK stands over him.


FUJI
-Yes, that’s me.

MIB
The famous biologist.

Fuji quickly stuffs his pocketwatch in his vest pocket and shakes MIB’s hand. He stands.

FUJI
I’m sorry, I’m not in any position
to be giving out autographs right
now.

He walks off. MIB walks with him.

MIB
I’m not here for an autograph.

FUJI
Everyone’s here for an autograph.
You’re going to try to sell me
something, aren’t you? Well, let’s
cut to the part where I tell you “no,
I’m not interested in a years’ worth
of Jangmo-Os and my picture on the
cereal box”.

MIB
I can offer you more than a cereal
company could ever dream of.

FUJI
Save it for the growlithes.
I’m not interested.

MIB
Not interested in enough money to
fund your project completely?
Because that is very interesting to
me.

Fuji stops in his tracks. He looks back at MiB.

FUJI
How do you know about that?

MIB
I research all my potential clients
before I approach them. Thoroughly.

He flips Fuji a card.

MIB
Call me if you change your mind.
The number only works once.

With that, MIB begins to walk off.

Fuji looks at the card. It’s blank, except for a type-written phone number. At the last second, he changes his mind and calls out.


FUJI
No, wait. I’d like to hear more
while I have you.

Giovanni stops. The look in his eyes: Hook, line, and sinker.


INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM – LATER

MIB shuts the blinds in the EMPTY classroom one by one with a clack. All the blinds. Fuji stands by the blackboard, perplexed.


MIB
Nothing I tell you leaves this room.

FUJI
Are we going to rob a bank? Because
otherwise I don’t see-

MIB
Your word. Nothing I tell you leaves
this room.

Fuji is reluctant.

FUJI
…You have it.

MIB walks over to the teacher’s desk. He pulls a folded-up paper out of his pocket.

MIB
The world trades in pokemon. It’s the
old business, the new business, the
business eternal. And I believe I have
discovered the new hot product.

He unfolds the paper and sets it on the desk: it’s a drawing of the pokemon MEW.

MIB
There is an island right off the coast
of Cinnabar, where I believe the
fossilized remains of the pokemon Mew
lie. I want you to go to this island.
Find the tomb. Bring back the fossil.
In return you will have everything you
need to fund and realize your project.

Fuji remains suspicious.

FUJI
And if I find nothing? What then?

MIB
One grand. In good faith. You will
receive it later today.

FUJI
No strings attached?

MIB doesn’t answer that. He folds up the paper and puts it back in his pocket. No evidence. He heads towards the door, but looks back.

MIB
I’ll need your decision by tonight.
Call that number when you’re ready.
Remember, it only works once.

Fuji yells out before the door closes—

FUJI
Wait--you didn’t answer my question!

The door shuts. Fuji scrambles for the door.


EXT. CLASSROOM – CONTINUOUS

Fuji exits the classroom, looking around for MIB. But MIB is nowhere to be seen. Only the other people in the hall look at Fuji like he’s a madman. Fuji closes the classroom door and clears his throat to look causal.

He looks at the card he holds: same type-written number. Fuji pockets it.

He grabs his unwatched journal and supplies from the bench he was sitting on, then heads for the large archway that leads out of the building…

CUT TO:


ROUTE ONE – NIGHTTIME

It’s the open fields of ROUTE ONE. Night has fallen. A lone RATTATA gnaws on a rock as it sniffs through the blades of grass, then dashes off into the underbrush.

In the background, a shoddily set up CAMPSITE with a yellow tent is visible.


INT. CAMPSITE – CONTINUOUS

CHARMANDER lies asleep in the clearing, snoring softly. An APPLE is speared upon a STICK that is propped up above Charmander's flaming tail.

RED sits against the yellow tent, fiddling with his POKEDEX.

His thumb finds the power button. He hesitates, but then presses it.

The Pokedex whirs to life. Red jolts.

Two words pop up on the screen-


--POKEDEX ONLINE--

The buttons light up in a synchronous light display, like an arcade machine.

--POKEMON DETECTED---

--POINT ME!--

Red takes a look at Charmander. What harm could it do. He points it.

The second he points it, the Pokedex suddenly whirs and beeps loudly-

-Red is startled and drops it. His foot knocks over the prop that knocks the stick that sends the apple falling right onto Charmander's tail.

Charmander awakens with a SHRIEK-


ROUTE ONE – CONTINUOUS

Charmander’s shriek of pain travels out throughout the plains. A pair of long EARS perk up out of the grass.


INT. CAMPSITE – CONTINUOUS

The Pokedex dings. A simple, smug ding.

Red doesn't even want to pick it up.

Red picks it up anyway.

There’s a big red button that’s flashing. It’s the only one flashing. Red presses it. Then the pokedex SPEAKS:


POKEDEX
Charmander: Prefers hot places.
The flame on the tip of its tail
is an indicator of its health and
should not be disturbed under any
circumstances- Not even as a
camping fire.

Charmander shoots Red a dirty look: Even the red brick knows it. Why don’t you?

The smoldering apple lying on the ground catches its eye- It could really use something to eat right now. Charmander snatches up the apple and walks to the other side of the campsite.

It tosses the apple in the air, choking out a FIREBALL that chars it completely, before catching the burnt fruit in its hands. Charmander huffs at Red, before sitting on the ground and taking a big bite.

That's how you properly roast an apple.


INT. YELLOW TENT – LATER

There's a slightly singed apple core in the tent…

…And next to it, Charmander's Poke-ball…

…And next to that, the Pokedex, which Red holds in his hand. Fast asleep.

Silently, a SHADOW bounds onto the tent's wall.

It flicks its ears, then hops to the other side of the tent

Silence. Red slumbers quietly-

-CRASH-

Red quickly sits up. He glances around, trying to figure out what just happened. He hears rustling just outside the tent.

Red silently sets the Pokedex aside, and listens to the scuffling just outside. He grabs Charmander's Poke-ball, silently creeping for the entrance…


INT. CAMPSITE – CONTINUOUS

Red peeks out of the tent, brandishing Charmander's Poke-ball like a weapon

He sees nothing.

The rustling is coming from behind the tent. Red creeps around the side of the tent, making sure to step over a large stick on the ground.

A large PIKACHU digs through Red's bag, stuffing its cheeks with everything edible it can find.

Red freezes. Pikachu continues to dig through the bag, until it pulls out an apple, and begins to greedily devour that, too.

Silently, Red takes a step backwards-

-SNAP-

-the stick breaks in half under his foot.

Pikachu's head whips back to stare directly at Red.

Red stays frozen. Pikachu, still staring at Red, defiantly stuffs the rest of the apple in its cheeks.

It chews. It swallows.

Red SCREAMS. He stumbles backwards and drops Charmander's Poke-ball.

Pikachu SCREECHES in response to Red’s scream. It becomes entangled in Red's supplies as it desperately tries to escape.

Red grabs Charmander's Poke-ball from the ground and THROWS it-

-It ricochets off the ground and releases a sleepy Charmander into the dirt.

Pikachu — entangled in Red's camping supplies — struggles in vain as Charmander picks itself up off the ground. Charmander’s head tilts curiously as it notices the squirming rodent.

Pikachu HISSES at Charmander. Its cheeks release a couple of SPARKS that bounce to the ground and fizzle out at Charmander's front claws. Pikachu's tail flickers with high voltage as it growls threateningly to drive home its point.

That doesn’t scare Charmander. It takes a challenging step forwards…

Pikachu releases electric fury from its tail and BLASTS Charmander back several feet and sends Red's supplies flying everywhere.

Red scrambles backwards further as Pikachu picks itself up from the now-scattered supplies.

Suddenly, a small ball of FIRE flies out of left field and blows Pikachu off its feet-

-Charmander sprints out of the underbrush and SWIPES at Pikachu-

-Who blocks with its tail and SHOCKS Charmander-

-Red yelps and dives behind a bush as sparks and flames collide around him. He crawls through the underbrush as Pikachu and Charmander viciously spat off-screen, then makes a mad dash to the yellow tent-


INT. YELLOW TENT – CONTINUOUS

The sounds of the battle are loud, even from inside the tent. Red snatches the Pokedex off the ground and stuffs it in his pocket-

-A stray THUNDERBOLT blasts the tent off its poles, exposing Red completely.

Pikachu sinks its teeth into Charmander's tail-

-And Charmander spins around, throwing it off-

Red ducks as Pikachu flies over his head. Stray sparks litter the ground all around Red.

He looks around and spots the belt of empty poke-balls, lying around in the remnants of his supplies. Perfect! Red runs over to collect them hurriedly.

A bolt of lightning flies past Red and blasts Charmander into a tree. Pikachu runs forward, cheeks sparking-

Red acts fast. He unclips a poke-ball from the belt, presses the button, and THROWS IT—

Scarlet ropes of light fly from the ball and latch onto Pikachu. Pikachu’s body is digitized and absorbed by the Poke-ball, all before it latches closed and lands neatly on the ground.

Silence. Charmander picks itself up with a huff.

-The Poke-ball flashes once…

…Twice…

…Thrice…

…Click.

It lights up bright YELLOW.

Slowly, Red and Charmander approach it. Red picks up a broken half of the campfire stick and prods it. Nothing.

He pulls the Pokedex out of his pocket, and points it directly at the ball.

The Pokedex whirs, then dings. Red presses the red button.


POKEDEX
Pikachu: Stores electricity in the
pouches on its cheeks. This variety
has been frequently known to steal
food from careless travelers who
leave their bags outside in the middle
of the night.

Red sighs and snaps the Pokedex closed. He picks up Pikachu's Poke-ball and hooks it to his belt. To the east, the sun is rising.

He looks at his wrecked tent, no longer suitable for sleeping. At least his bag is unharmed. Red walks over to grab it, passing Charmander.


RED
Come on, Charmander. Let's get packed
up before any other crazy pokemon come
through here.

Charmander turns its nose up at Red. Your stuff, your problem.


ROUTE ONE PATH – MORNING

Red and Charmander walk down the beaten path. Charmander crawls along on all fours grumpily behind Red.

Red flips open the pokedex once again, navigating through the archives. He eventually reaches one marked:


--EVOLUTION--

--PLAY ME!--

Red presses the big button once again, and the pokedex speaks:

POKEDEX
Evolution: All pokemon naturally store
up excess energy within their bodies,
only to be used in the most dire of
emergencies. When that energy builds
up sufficiently, it triggers a process
within the pokemon known as Evolution.
While the exact trigger of evolution
is unknown, many scientists believe
it has much to do with the bond of trust
between a human and a pokemon…

Charmander looks like it would rather be anywhere else at the moment. It eyes its Poke-ball swinging on Red's belt. And all the other empty ones.

One swipe, and it's free.

As the pokedex drones on, the camera slowly rises up through grass and trees to view the VIRIDIAN CITY SKYLINE in the distance…


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY - AFTERNOON

It's high morning. Red and Charmander walk through the rusty gates to VIRIDIAN CITY. The buildings are dirty. The ground cracked. A parched fountain of a crumbling DEWGONG forms the city's morbid centerpiece.

Red snaps the pokedex closed, pockets it, and looks around at the sad excuse for a town.


RED
What a dump.

Charmander can't help but agree.

All types of unsavory people glance up at Red as he walks throughout the city, going about their furtive activities. A HOODED FIGURE standing outside the poke-mart turns their head to glance at Red as he passes.

A young boy rattles a net full of junk in front of the hooded figure. Backwards cap. Tee-shirt. Sunglasses. Shorts. This is YOUNGSTER JOEY.


JOEY
Sure you don't wanna buy? I got
all kinds of stuff.

No response from the hooded figure. They return to looking at the store window, where a collection of SHINY ROCKS sits. Joey flicks his sunglasses up his nose.

JOEY
Hey, you listening? I got stuff you
didn't even know you wanted until
you looked at into my stash.

Hooded Figure looks at Joey. They silently shake their head.

SHOPKEEPER (O.S.)
Hey!

Joey’s head spins, as the SHOPKEEPER walks out the shop doors.

SHOPKEEPER
Didn’t I tell you to stop advertising
outside my shop?

Joey puts his hands up in the air. Something falls out of his net.

JOEY
Okay, ya made ya point. I’ll dash.

SHOPKEEPER
You better! Next time I see you
out here I’m siccing Dragonite on
you!

A DRAGONITE sticks its head out of the poke-mart door at the sound of its name.

JOEY
Yeah, yeah, I’m going.

He walks off, hands in the air. The shopkeeper turns to the hooded figure.

SHOPKEEPER
Something I can get you?

The hooded figure nods, pointing to the rock collection.

Joey picks himself up and saunters right over to Red, who is walking off. Joey tracks with Red.


JOEY
Hi. My name's Joey.

He rattles his net.

JOEY
Wanna buy-

RED
No, sorry. Not interested.

Joey doesn't skip a beat. He briskly follows Red anyway. Charmander switches gears and walks with Joey instead. It causally bats at his net.

JOEY
(Hushed)
Beat it, lizard.
(To Red) You know… you look like a
pokemon trainer. And I like pokemon
trainers.

RED
I don't want to buy anything.

Charmander won't leave. Joey slings his net a little higher so it can’t claw a hole in it.

JOEY
Go away.
(Louder)
Y'know…

He begins to follow Red again.

JOEY
There ain't never been someone I
couldn't cut a deal with. Just sold
me a bunch o' stuff to them goons
over at the bike bridge past Cerulean
City. Rare candy. T-M.
(Wiggles eyebrows)
Gold Nugget.

RED
Stop following me.

Red walks off without Joey. Again. Joey peers over his sunglasses. Tough customer.

Wordlessly, he flicks them back up his nose and continues after Red.

Red approaches the VIRIDIAN GYM, a two-story, curved-roof building that simply exudes malice. A battered SIGN stands outside the gym:


~VIRIDIAN GYM~

Everything below those words has been brutally clawed out by something big. Something dangerous.

JOEY (O.S.)
I'll battle you.

Red turns around to see Joey, who still hasn’t left. Charmander jumps for Joey’s net. Joey holds it high out of its reach. Charmander hisses.

JOEY
My ratatta's in the top tier of
ratatta. The wager’ll be a-hundred
‘n-Fifty poke-bucks. Either way.
You in?

Red’s had enough.

RED
Joey!

JOEY
What?

RED
Lay off! Please. I don’t want to buy
anything.

Joey raises his hands once again in surrender.

JOEY

Alright, alright. Your loss.

Satisfied, Red begins to walk off again. Charmander follows after Joey’s net for a bit, but eventually walks back to Red in disappointment.

But Red has stopped. He stares at something: To the far right of the gym, a tall and mangled wire fence covered in Danger signs conceals a large, pink FOREST.

Red glances back.


RED

Hey, Joey?

Joey, walking away, looks back.


JOEY

Changed your mind?!

Red points at the forest.

RED

Where does that go?

Joey looks at the forest. He smirks.

JOEY
Info’ll cost ya.

Red sighs, fed up. He pulls some change from his pocket, walks over, and hands it to Joey. Joey counts, then pockets it.

JOEY
Much appreciated. That’s the
Viridian Forest. Gnarly path.
Leads you right into Pewter
City.

RED
Thanks.

He glances back at the forest, just as imposing as ever.

JOEY
Word of warning: They say there’s
bugs live in those woods. Big bugs
that’ll gobble you up for breakfast
and then some. Stay on the path. Or
maybe I could interest you in this
Repel – priority discount, of course…

RED
I don't want anything else, Joey…

JOEY
Okay. Loud and clear. I’ll be off
now.

He and his jangling net make like the wind and disappear. Charmander watches them go in disappointment.

Red only looks anxiously at the woods ahead. Over the forest's treetops, a pitch-black mountain peaks up…


EXT. VIRIDIAN FOREST – NIGHTTIME

It’s nighttime. The forest entrance is shrouded in darkness. The tall black peak that is MOUNT MOON juts up into the night…


EXT. MOUNT MOON MINING SITE – CONTINUOUS

The entrance to Mount Moon is filled with mining supplies under tarps. It’s currently occupied by two ROCKET TRUCKS. Their headlights illuminate the yard harshly.

A fancy black SEDAN pulls up. A pair of Rocket Grunts step forward and open the back door. The Man in Black steps out.


INT. MOUNT MOON MINING SITE – CONTINUOUS

A dark cave entrance leads into a brightly lit MINING SITE, which is trashed. MIB walks in, surveying the place.

Broken tools and equipment are strewn all over the ground. In the background, a rickety, three-story SCAFFOLDING STRUCTURE sits against the wall of a cliff, where the colossal fossil of a Gyarados juts out.

Rocket Grunts strip the Poke-balls and valuables from a row of workers and scientists.

Bound. Gagged. Trembling.

MIB leans against the cave wall, watching the Rocket Grunts go about their work.

Sudden shouting from offscreen. Two Rockets pursue one of the WORKERS as he makes a run for it-

The worker looks back as he runs, but suddenly SLIPS-

-And hits the ground. The two Rocket Grunts drag the worker back to the line of prisoners.

That’s his cue. MIB steps forward, walking over until he stands in front of the prisoners. They look at him with fear…

…But are surprised as MIB removes his sunglasses and pockets them.


MIB
I imagine many of you are frightened.
You have every right to be. All this
– storming in, taking a mining site
by force, tying you all up. It’s a
brutal affair.

There is still silence. The prisoners look shocked and uneasy.

MIB
I am the leader of Team Rocket. No
need for honorifics; you may call me
Giovanni. And this is the way of the
world. Might makes right. The strong
survive, and the weak are stepped on
and forgotten. But it isn’t all bad.
I am here today to make you an offer
that will change your life. Join us.
Join the winning side. Join Team
Rocket, and never get trampled on
again.

The worker at the end – the one that ran away – finally snaps.

WORKER
What gives you the right to storm
in here and take everything we have??

GIOVANNI
Rights are meaningless. There is only
what can be taken, and those strong
enough to take it.

WORKER
That’s a load of tauros-shit! You’re
bloody criminals! Don’t go lecturing
me about might or whatever! Let us
go!

GIOVANNI
As you wish.

Giovanni snaps. A pair of Rocket Grunts walk up, standing over the worker. Giovanni points to the cavern entrance.

GIOVANNI
Take him over there.

WORKER
No- Wait-

The Rocket Grunts pick him up, and drag him – kicking and screaming – to the cavern entrance. They set him down.

GIOVANNI
Cut his ties.

They do. The worker looks at his freed hands in disbelief.

WORKER
You’re- You’re letting me go?

Giovanni puts his sunglasses back on. He pulls a single poke-ball out of his coat. It’s lit GREY. He presses the button, sits it down, and rolls it off into the darkness. Something LARGE moves off unseen.

Giovanni leans in, and whispers in the worker’s ear—


GIOVANNI
(Hushed)
Make it to the end of that cave,
and you’re a free man.

The worker can’t believe his ears. He looks up, trembling. He is met with indifference.

WORKER
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you-

Giovanni KICKS him on the back and sends him sprawling to the ground.

The worker gets to his feet, and staggers off into the cave. He hears the clanking of something stomping around in the darkness, and only then does the reality of the situation set in.

He walks faster for a bit. More sounds from the darkness set him on-edge.

A particularly loud sound comes from up AHEAD. The worker loses it, and breaks out into a full-on SPRINT-

-But a large, rocky tail swoops out of the darkness and trips him over. A massive RHYDON lunges from the shadows and snatches the man up, shaking him around like a mad dog before throwing him to the ground.

Rhydon drops the worker at Giovanni’s feet. His shirt is tattered. He’s barely breathing. All the other prisoners have a front-row seat. Giovanni crouches down in front of the worker as he tries to make a sound.


GIOVANNI
Shh. You’ll be in a better place
when you wake.

He stands up, facing the rest of the prisoners.

GIOVANNI
I trust you all would not like to
follow this man’s example. I once
again present my offer: Are there
any objections?

Many, but not a single person dares to speak up.

GIOVANNI
Very well, then. Take them all to
Basic Training.

He stands up and gestures for the Rockets to collect the prisoners.

MIB holds out a finger to stop Scarface before he can leave with the rest of the grunts.


GIOVANNI
Not you. I want you to take a couple
of grunts and set up an outpost here.

SCARFACE
Shame. I was quite looking forward to
the training process.

He moves on, once again barking orders at the grunts.

SCARFACE
(To Grunts)
Collect all the valuables! We move
out with everything or not at all!

Giovanni pockets his hands and follows.

CUT TO:


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – NIGHTTIME

Someone slides a COIN into a SLOT.

It’s Red. He’s using one of the payphones in the VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER. Next to him, Charmander loiters. A large red banner above them both reads:


-|- Pokemon Center -|-
Offering free healthcare and lodging
Twenty-four hours a day!
Remember: A healthy Pokemon is a happy Pokemon!

Red holds the old-fashioned telephone to his ear. It trills.

TELEPHONE
Dialing Pallet Town.

Red waits for a bit. Eventually, the phone beeps.

TELEPHONE
We’re sorry, the number you were
attempting to call didn’t pick up.
Please leave a message after the
beep.

There’s a beep. Red takes a deep breath.

RED
Mom? It's me. Red. Sorry for skipping
out on home the other day.

Silence. Red remembers it’s a one-sided conversation.

RED
I'm in Viridian City. It's a little
shabby…
(Cont’d)
It's really shabby, but I'm in one
piece. Just thought you’d like to
know. If you get this.
Sorry.

Red sticks the phone back on the hook.

Charmander blows a few Embers up into the air, where they catch on the banner and begin to smolder.

Red just watches as the banner spontaneously combusts and flutters down into a smoking heap on the ground.


INT. POKEMON CENTER ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Red and Charmander enter their Pokemon Center Room. It's quaint. The only pieces of furniture in the room are a cot and a table and a chair.

Red throws his bag on the table and begins to dig through it. He pulls out a trio of apples – the last ones they have left.

Charmander eyes them out of the corner of its eye.


RED
Hungry?

Yes, but Charmander won’t admit it. It quickly turns its nose the other way.

RED
Yeah, me neither.

He sets both apples aside and falls back into the chair. Exhausted.

RED
Look. I'm sorry I used your tail as
a campfire. Is that what you want
to hear?

Charmander's nose twitches. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

RED
Really, I am! I didn't mean for any of
that to happen.
(Cont'd)
I don't know what I'm doing.

Charmander turns its head around all the way. This is unexpected.

RED
I've only been out here a day and I’ve
already gotten my tent fried, caught a
wild pokemon I don’t know what to do
with, and turned the only friend I have
right now against me. We're going to have
to find a way to survive out here, and
we can't do that if we can’t get along.

He swivels the seat around until he’s facing Charmander.

RED
We're in this together. So let's stop
fighting. Please. Deal?

Charmander only turns away. Petty revenge for-the-win.

RED
Come on- I already said I was
sorry!

Charmander's not listening anymore.

Red turns back to his bag with a groan, holding it upside down and shaking it out.


RED
Fine. Let's see what else is in
here-

Pikachu's Poke-ball lands on the desk with a metallic thud. Red looks at it trepidaciously.


INT. POKEMON CENTER ROOM – LATER

The room is dark. The cot, the desk, and the chair are all arranged on one side of the room like a barricade.

Red peeks out from behind the sideways table. He presses the button of Pikachu’s poke-ball, then rolls it out into the open…

Then quickly scrambles back behind the table, crouching down out of sight. Charmander is next to him.


RED
(Hushed)
Don’t make a sound.

The Poke-ball rolls out into the middle of the room…

…And ACTIVATES-

-Sending a battle-ready Pikachu face-first into the floorboards.

Pikachu hops up onto all fours, growling.

Behind the table, Red quietly pulls the second apple out of his bag…

Pikachu stands up on its hind paws. It looks around, and sniffs the air.

Charmander hungrily eyes the apple Red has in his hand. Slowly, it begins to reach out for it. Red silently shakes his head at it and mouths “no”.

Charmander continues to reach anyway. Red holds it progressively further away, until he leans over and loses his balance—

-And bumps the sideways desk.

Pikachu's head whips around. Both Charmander and Red both freeze, realizing their mistake.

Pikachu creeps up to the desk. Sniffs. Flicks its ears.

Red sets the apple on the floor. It makes a thud.

Pikachu slowly creeps around the desk…

…And notices Red. And more importantly, the apple. Red slowly pushes the apple towards Pikachu with his shoe.

Pikachu’s cheeks spark with electricity. Red quickly moves off and raises his hands into the air.

Ever so slowly, Pikachu begins to walk closer. It approaches the piece of fruit until it's close enough to touch, then picks it up and takes a big, hefty bite of it.

Red gently extends his hand…

Pikachu looks up. Its tail gives a warning spark. Red stops. He closes his eyes, expecting to be fried, but nothing comes.

Pikachu downs the apple, even the core. It looks up at Red. Fine, you fed me.

Very slowly, Red begins to extend his hand again…

This is Charmander’s chance. It jumps up, snatches the third apple from Red’s bag, and perches on top of the desk with the apple in its jaws.

Pikachu hisses, and jumps after Charmander-

-Red barely scoots out of the way as the two pokemon knock the bench over-

The apple goes FLYING from Charmander's jaws as Pikachu pounces. It rolls and tumbles and is swatted about all over the room as the two dueling pokemon viciously SWIPE and SCRATCH and BITE and SCHOCK and BURN each other-

-Red moves from piece to piece of overturned furniture as Charmander and Pikachu tear the room apart-

-he barely ducks in time as the APPLE flies right over his head and hits the wall like a baseball.

Beat. Everyone in the room is staring at the exact same spot.

Slowly, the bruised and battered apple breaks apart into two smoldering halves.

Charmander shoots a triumphant glance at Pikachu, whose cheeks spark in frustration.

Red gets up. Both pokemon stare at him, but neither move. He walks over to the apple, sits down, and picks them up. He thrusts his hands out, a half in each one.


RED
You can share it.

There’s a silent pause. Neither Charmander nor Pikachu want to take it.

Then, slowly, Charmander crawls forwards. It bites one half out of Red’s hand. Pikachu quickly scurries up and snatches the other.

Charmander takes a small bite of its apple and watches in disgust as Pikachu once again greedily stuffs the entire thing in its cheeks.


INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER - LATER

Charmander and Pikachu are sleeping next to each other on the floor. Red finishes pushing the cot back into place, then promptly collapses on it.

Once Red is asleep, Charmander cracks open an eye. It can see its Poke-ball, on the desk.

One swipe and it's free.

But it doesn't do anything. Not yet.


EXT. VIRIDIAN FOREST OUTSKIRTS – DAYTIME

Red, Charmander, and Pikachu all approach the entrance to VIRIDIAN FOREST.

A paper warning — one of many — is stuck to the gate. Red tears it off and looks at it.

He folds it and sticks it in his pocket. He straightens his hat.


RED
Let’s go.

He walks forward.

As the trio walks through the gates, the camera rises up over Viridian Forest…

…To reveal the peak of Mt. Moon looming above in the distance.


INT. VIRIDIAN FOREST – CONTINUOUS

It's windy. A BROOK trickles by in the distance.

Red and Charmander and Pikachu walk along a shady dirt path through the woods.

Charmander's tail flame whips in the wind as it purposely lures Pikachu from ahead. Pikachu creeps up closer from behind…

…And POUNCES-

-Charmander whips its tail out of the way just as Pikachu lands face-first. It smirks evilly to itself as it continues onwards.

Its tail flame whips in the wind, to Pikachu's frustration…

…And inevitable interest, as it begins to follow Charmander again.

Behind the group, a slimy, motionless, chrysalis-like KAKUNA hangs from one of the trees.

Red holds the paper from before in his hands. It flaps in the wind. He grabs the paper from the top to straighten it out.

A crude drawing of an insect is on the page, and below-


YOU ARE NOW ENTERING VIRIDIAN FOREST
STAY ON THE PATH!

Something unseen winds its way through the top of the trees, cracking branches and rustling leaves…

Red looks upwards at the cracking noise.

Pikachu can't resist. It leaps again-

-And Charmander spins around, letting Pikachu hit the ground face-first.

Pikachu has had enough. It leaps up- Hisses -And tackles Charmander with sparking cheeks-

-Red spins around as the two Pokemon fight tooth and claw in a furred and scaly ball-

-That goes cascading OFF THE PATH.

Red runs up to the edge of the path. Charmander and Pikachu are nowhere in sight, but a trail of flattened underbrush marks their path into the woods. Red doesn’t hesitate before going after them.


INT. DEEP WOODS – CONTINUOUS

Charmander picks itself up in the woods. The deep woods. All alone.

It calls out.

Nothing.

Again.

Nothing. Above, something cracks through the trees…


RED
(O.S.)
Charmander! Pikachu!



INT. DEEP WOODS – CONTINUOUS

Pikachu walks through the woods. Completely at home. It effortlessly scales a tree to see the long expanse of forest…

WITH RED

Red slides down the slope, trying to keep his balance.

He steps through the brook as he goes; it gets his shoes wet. He calls out loudly.


RED
Charmander! Pikachu!

Atop the trees, Pikachu spies on Red below.

Something suddenly CRACKS through the branches-


RED
Charmander—

WITH CHARMANDER

Charmander growls threateningly as the rustling in the treetops continues. It looks up into the canopy. The rustling continues.

WITH RED

In the distance, Red marches through the woods, a silhouette. Something moves off in the shadows of the woods, but it’s not Charmander.


RED
Pikachu!

Red approaches a dark, secluded HOLLOW in the woods. He calls into the cave.

RED
Charmander! Pikachu!

Only the echoes of his voice receive him. But he hears something else in there too. He walks forward, tentatively entering the cave – what else can he do?


INT. VIRIDIAN HOLLOW – CONTINUOUS

The VIRIDIAN HOLLOW is dark and claustrophobic. Red carefully walks down the slanted dirt…

…But it’s not steady. It sends him sliding down—

Until his foot catches on a gnarled tree root and sends him sprawling to the ground.

Red lands, right in front of a slimy, disgusting sac. He quickly yelps and gets to his feet once he realizes what he’s looking at: the dry, withered husk of a kakuna.

Immediately, Red sees this was a mistake. He gets up to leave, heading back towards the upwards slope of dirt.

A faint buzzing sound echoes from within the hollow. Red freezes. It comes again. Red sees something glisten within the darkness.


RED
Charmander?

He set his hopes too high. The BEEDRILL, a huge wasp-like creature with spears for arms, descends upon him—

WITH CHARMANDER

Charmander lashes out with fire as ANOTHER Beedrill dives from the trees, heading right for it. It scurries out of the way just as the beedrill dives.

WITH PIKACHU

Pikachu is sitting in a tree branch, enjoying a couple of wild berries it’s found. Then it hears the sounds of a fight. It glances down at the Viridian Hollow below.


RED
(O.S.)
Help!

WITH RED

Red flees for the entrance, heading up the slope. The beedrill tries to stab him, but he ducks. His foot catches on the tree root, and he falls to the ground—

The beedrill descends upon him swiftly. Red rolls over before it can plunge one of its massive stingers into his chest. Red rolls to his hands and knees and begins to move again, but he can’t run forever. The beedrill flies up and makes to strike him down-

A THUNDERBOLT arcs from the entrance and slams into the beedrill and sends it flying back into the cavern.

Red spins around, getting to his feet completely.

Pikachu stands at the hollow entrance. Its tail flickers with high voltage.

Red wastes no time getting himself to the top of the cavern.

WITH CHARMANDER

Charmander sends an ember after the beedrill that hovers in the air-

The beedrill effortlessly dodges and lets the fireball fly into the air and dissipate.

The Beedrill rapidly closes on Charmander, dodging another ember. Charmander dashes out of the way at the last second, letting the beedrill spear a tree. It splinters the trunk.

The beedrill’s OTHER stinger hits the ground right next to Charmander. It pulls its first stinger out of the tree…

A second thunderbolt slams it against the tree and tips the tree over and sends the beedrill falling with it.

Red and Pikachu dash into the clearing.

Pikachu notices Charmander's tail flame…

Charmander makes its way to Red posthaste, and all three take off into the woods-

-Running-

-Through trees-

-Buzzing from behind-

-Glimpses of multiple Beedrill through the woods-

-Red's feet splash through water as they run adjacent to the river now…

…Until they break through the trees into daylight, into a clearing-

-That is a cliff.

A small WATERFALL cascades down at least twenty feet into a river down below.

Nowhere left to run.

Red spins around as-

-Both Beedrill fly out of the trees and zoom directly towards the group…

…One of them heads straight for Charmander, and Pikachu sends it a Thunderbolt-

-The other maneuvers around and heads straight for Red-

-Who stumbles back-

-And falls.

Over the cliff.

Towards the water-

-SPLASH-

-The HOODED FIGURE, at the riverbank, looks up just in time to see the remnants of Red's splash.


UNDER THE RIVER – CONTINUOUS

Silence.

A tranquil, peaceful, deadly silence.

Red sinks.

Beat. It's as quiet as the watery grave it is.

A VAPOREON swiftly swims past Red as he sinks.

A muffled splash from above.

Two muffled splashes.

Charmander enters the water first, then Pikachu.

Pikachu paddles to the surface, Red and Charmander forgotten-

-But Charmander's tail flame begins to wither in all the water.

Red swims up…

…Grabs Charmander-

-Heading for the surface-


INT. VIRIDIAN RIVER – CONTINUOUS

Red gasps as he breaks water.

Charmander is in his arms.

As Red catches hold of a rock at the riverbank, he grabs his backpack floating by…


EXT. VIRIDIAN RIVER – CONTINUOUS

The mighty waterfall cascades down in the background.

Red climbs onto the riverbank and sets Charmander down on a rock.

Nothing. Charmander is completely still. Red frantically searches his backpack for something- anything -to help.

But the contents are waterlogged, and he can't find a thing.

Pikachu- still dripping -creeps out of the nearby trees as Red searches.

Red notices Pikachu. He tries to speak, but ends up coughing instead.

Rattled, Pikachu scurries off into the woods.


RED

No, Wait!

But it's too late. Pikachu is gone.

Charmander remains still. Its tail flame weakly whips in the wind…

…Getting weaker.


HOODED FIGURE
(O.S.)
It won't wake.

Red spins, startled.

The Hooded Figure stands behind him, on top of a hill to the right of the river.

He slides to the bottom , and removes his hood to reveal-

-A teenaged boy, in his late 18s. This is BROCK.


BROCK

Let me take a look.

Red moves aside as Brock passes through, planting his walking stick firmly into the ground.

Brock passes Red and kneels over Charmander. He presses his ear to Charmander's chest…


BROCK

(Hushed)
You need to get this one to a
Pokemon Center.

He rises, grabbing his walking stick out of the ground as he starts back towards the hill.

BROCK
I know where to find one. Follow
me.

Brock expertly scales the mini-cliff, stopping at the top.

BROCK
Coming?

Red looks back at the woods. There's no sign of Pikachu.

He hesitates for a bit, but finally makes his decision.

Red slings his wet pack over his shoulder, returns Charmander to its Poke-ball, and casts one last wistful look at the woods as he follows Brock.


INT. VIRIDIAN FOREST OUTSKIRTS – CONTINUOUS

Brock walks through several tall plants, followed by Red.

Red holds Pikachu's Poke-ball in his hand as he walks silently. Charmander's Poke-ball is on his belt.

The yellow lights on Pikachu's Poke-ball flicker…

…Then go out.


BROCK
Should be right through here-

Red looks up at the sound of Brock’s voice. Brock brushes two ferns away with his stick-

-The lush green plants of Viridian Forest completely give way to dark, mineral-rich rock. Settled between twin mountains lies a town built from stone…

…And the massive figure of Mt. Moon looms above it. Larger than ever.

SUPER:
Pewter City – Mining Town


INT. PEWTER CITY – CONTINUOUS

Pewter City is noisy. And crowded. Pickaxes clang. Foremen shout indistinctly to their crews. Large GRAVELLER and MACHOKE carry heavy rocks and carts to and fro.

These are miners.

Brock gracefully walks through the crooked streets of the town, almost dancing around people as he goes.

Red, not graceful at all, stumbles through behind Brock, pushing through people and trying to keep up.

He passes a purple vendor tent selling GEMSTONES on display. Scarlet, Cerulean, Jade. The bright colors catch his attention from the middle of the street.

Brock, a ways ahead, turns around.


BROCK
Come on. Keep up. Before-

-CRASH.

A large mining cart is dropped to the ground and covers Red in soot.


BROCK
-That happens.


INT. PEWTER CITY POKEMON CENTER – CONTINUOUS

The Pokemon Center is one of the few buildings not colored a shade of grey or black, and it's bustling with people.

Red sits on one of the center's lobby benches, checking the contents of his sopping wet bag.

He pulls out the Pokedex. It’s wet. Hurriedly, he opens it and powers it up. It instantly flickers to life, waterproof. Red turns it off and leans back in his seat with a sigh of relief.


BROCK
(In distance)So let me know if
you ever wanna… go out together.
I can get us booked at a fancy
restaurant and…

The Center Nurse isn't having any of his nonsense. She silently hands him Charmander's Poke-ball and walks indignantly back to the desk. Her body language tells Brock everything he needs to know.

Brock tosses Charmander's Poke-ball around in his hands as he walks over to Red, then tosses it to Red, who barely catches it. He leans back against the bench with a sigh.


BROCK
There you go, kid. Any time you're
in trouble like that, you go to a
building like this and you talk to
the lady at the counter. She'll
help you.

Red presses the poke-ball button and points the ball at the ground. A solid beam of scarlet light emits from the ball, and Charmander materializes on the ground unharmed- albeit disoriented.

RED
Thank you.

BROCK
No problem. It’s my job of sorts.

He slowly raises himself from the bench.

BROCK
Unfortunately, duty calls, and I
have that job to get back to. I
have a feeling we may meet again
very soon…

He glances at Red's temporary name badge that reads 'Red.'

BROCK
Ah… Red. You can find me in the
Pewter City Gym, if you wish.
I'm sure you'll find it a very
tumultuous experience.

With that, he walks out the door with his cowl and walking stick.

Red looks mournfully at his soaked bag. Charmander is visibly amused. Red is not.


RED
It's not funny.

CUT TO:


EXT. WRECKED SHOP – MIDDAY

DETECTIVE LOOKER walks across the gravel of Pewter City towards the charred wreck of a building that's been completely burned down.

Police officers secure the area with CRIME SCENE TAPE. Looker flips them a badge, and they let him in. He stuffs the badge back in his pocket and pulls out a small CAMERA.

In the background, the disheveled SHOPKEEPER explains himself to the press.


SHOPKEEPR
There were five of them- with
pokemon. They all rushed me,
and then they raided my shop for
everything- anything they could
sell. They set it ablaze. And
they stole my- my Nidoran. I don't
know if I'm ever going to see it
again…

Looker enters the blackened building, searching for evidence. There are signs of a scuffle, and clearly pokemon were involved.

He snaps photos.

Anything left on what remains of the shelves has been burned to ashes. The cash register lies on the floor, half-charred and emptied out. He gets those on film too.

The frenzied Shopkeeper points up towards Mount Moon.


SHOPKEEPER
They took everything from me. And
they're up there. Waiting to do it
all over again.

Looker looks up at the hulking black mountain. He raises his camera…

CUT TO:


EXT. PEWTER GYM - MIDDAY

Red approaches the PEWTER GYM, a mine shaft built into the side of the mountain.

He manages to shove the iron GATE open a little, and slips through the small opening with Charmander. He looks around at the yard that could clearly use some TLC.


RED
Well, they don't get points for
tidiness.

There's a slightly rusted sign next to the door:

PEWTER GYM
OPEN TO CHALLENGERS
COME RIGHT IN!

The door is closed.

Red knocks.

A slot in the door flips open. A pair of eyes scan Red over.


RED
Is this-

GYM TRAINER
It isn't. Go away.

The slot slams shut.

Red knocks a second time.

The slot flips open again.


GYM TRAINER
What do you want?

RED
Is this the Pewter Gym?

Beat. There's no response.

RED
(Cont’d)
The sign says, 'open to challengers,'
so I thought…

GYM TRAINER
We're closed. Sorry.

The slot slams in his face a second time. A large BANG comes from behind the door.

GIRL
(O.S.)
What are you doing?

BOY
(O.S.)
There's someone at the door-

GIRL
(O.S.)
Of course there is; why else would
you be standing there?

BOY
(O.S.)
We aren't supposed to let people in when
the Gym Leader's not here!

GIRL
(O.S.)
Well, we can't just turn them away!
Leader says it 'ruins publicity.'

BOY
(O.S.)
So what do we do, then?

RED
Is the gym open or not?

The talking stops. Red and Charmander share a look.

Suddenly, the metal door slams open, and a BOY pulls Red inside-


BOY
Welcome to the Pewter Gym! Sorry for
the hold-up.

The boy tugs Red inside, and leads him into a carved-out COAT ROOM-

GIRL
We apologize for the gym leader's current
absence. In light of this baffling
complication, we've prepared a grand tour-

BOY
Yes we have!

GIRL
That's a light-

BOY
-And there's a rock-

They point to a light and a rock, respectively.

GIRL
And this is the coat room-

RED
Stop! Just stop. Let me go.

The boy lets him go.

Charmander huffs for attention from the ground.


BOY
He's not buying it.

GIRL
I can see he's not buying it! I have
eyes!

BOY
You should have sold him better. I knew
this was a bad idea-

GIRL
Let's see you do better! Your acting is so
see-through it's invisible!

BROCK
(O.S.)
Enough of that, you two.

Everyone looks to the coat hanger. Brock hangs his hood and his walking stick up.

BOY & GIRL
Leader Brock!

BROCK
Don't wear it out.

Brock straightens one of the coat handles.

BROCK
If I had a dime for every time you
two started fighting…

GIRL
-You'd be a millionaire. We know already.

Brock frowns.

BROCK
Well, now that that's out of the way, it
seems we have a challenger. What say we break
him in?


INT. PEWTER CYM – CONTINUOUS

Brock walks into a short corridor, followed by Red. He stops at a section of a wall and presses a button-

-The wall flips open to reveal an impressive shelf full of many different poke-balls. Brock pours over them intently.


BROCK
Are you familiar with how pokemon gyms work?

RED
Kinda.

BROCK
I’ll give you the rundown quickly; a refresher
never hurts. The pokemon gyms exist as checkpoints
for the Pokemon League. We're the gatekeepers.
There are eight gyms total in Kanto, and you’ll have to
challenge every one and win before you can even think
about the Hall of Fame. On that note… How many badges
have you got?

RED
I don't have any.

BROCK
Very good… How many pokemon?

Two activated poke-balls hang on Red's belt. One lit up orange. One not lit up at all.

RED
…One. Just one.

BROCK
(Mumbling to himself)
…Straight out of Viridian… …first
time challenging… …no prior experience…

Brock pulls two Poke-balls from the shelf.

BROCK
These'll do. Follow me.

Brock clips them to his belt, and then walks ahead, as Red follows-

-Into a large, rock-carved STADIUM the size of a sports field.

Red is taken aback.


BROCK
You like it?

Red loves it. He can't stop gaping at it long enough to say anything.

BROCK
Good. Because in a few minutes, you and your pokemon are going
to destroy it.

That's enough to shake Red out of his trance.

RED
What?

BROCK
You heard it here. Welcome to your first Pokemon
Gym Battle.

He begins to walk to the far end of the battlefield. Red quickly does the same.

Steps lead to a large metal PLATFORM with railings on both sides.

Red climbs the one on his side of the battlefield. As he grips the railing, the stage jerks-

-And smoothly rises up into the air. When it halts to a stop, Red is at least fifteen feet in the air.

Brock is standing on the other platform, on the other side of the battlefield.


BROCK
(Over Speaker)
I, Gym Leader Brock of Pewter City, hereby legalize
this fair and lawful duel, to be preserved
in the pages of history to come.
Battlers, Ready your pokemon. In three…

Red removes his hand from some HAND STRAPS on the rails. Not a good sign.

BROCK
(O.S.)
Two…

Red unhooks Charmander's Poke-ball from his belt.

BROCK
One…

Red grips his Poke-ball…

…presses the button…


BROCK
Let the battle begin.

With that, Brock throws his Poke-ball and releases a GEODUDE onto the rocky field.

Red throws Charmander's Poke-ball. As hard as he can.

The Poke-ball soars through the air-

-Perfectly releasing Charmander just before the Poke-ball hits the ground.

Beat.

Charmander surveys the field. Taking in the new terrain.

Charmander suddenly scurries to the left as Geodude sends a rock flying, and Red's platform is off-

-Scooting to the left and right with Charmander as it dodges the Geodude's attacks that make dents in the floor-

Charmander sends a FIRE PULSE towards the Geodude and sends it flying back a few feet into a stalactite.

Red can barely hold on as his platform soars to the left…

…As Charmander leaps into a maze of Stalactites, jumping and ducking through spiny rocks and boulders as rocks zoom through them like cannonballs.

In the open, Geodude prepares a fistful of rocks to lob at Charmander at the other side…

Red can only call out from his platform.


RED
Charmander! Watch out!

But Charmander's already out the other side, taking the brunt of the rock barrage the hard way-

-fighting and burning and clawing its way through the endless boulders and swiping Geodude in the face with its claws-

-Limbo-ing as Geodude punches at it and smacking it in the face with its flaming tail-

-And finally retreating to a distance as Geodude recovers.

Charmander sends a Fireball towards Geodude as it curls in defense-

-Geodude takes the fire-ball and then spins around, raising a cloud of DUST-

-Faster and faster-

-Making it larger and larger as Charmander tries to avoid all the pebbles and dirt barraging it, shielding its …

Red can only watch as the dust cloud gets larger and larger-

Charmander is blinded by the dust. It sends an Ember into the air to light the way, looking around for Geodude-

-But there's nothing. It sends a fireball instead-

-But a PUNCH hits it from the side.

Charmander goes flying-

-Out of the dust cloud-

-And hits the ground.

Barely moving.

Red's platform lowers to the ground, posthaste.


RED
Charmander!

Brock looks down from his platform; concerned.

BROCK
(To Geodude)
Stand down. Stop the battle.

Red runs over to Charmander, laying still in the middle of the battlefield.

It's conscious, but barely. Red shakes it frantically.


RED
Not again. Charmander. Charmander!

Brocks platform lowers to the ground, and Brock walks off of it.

He walks over to Red, Geodude at his side. He's three feet away.


BROCK
Red? The battle's over. You two did good. But I
can't allow this to continue with your
pokemon in that condition.

Red looks up at Brock. Then back down at Charmander.

But Charmander stands back up. It's bruised, but not finished. It HISSES at Geodude menacingly.

RED
If you want to stop, then we'll stop. I promise. But we can still win this!

Brock stands there, waiting.

RED
But I trust you. Do you trust me?

Charmander looks at Red for a moment. It's skin begins to shimmer ever so slightly…

…Then its body EXPLODES with white energy as it seems to rebuild itself.

Reshaping.

Growing.

Changing.

Red watches from the ground, in awe.

The blinding white glow slowly fades, and in the place where Charmander once was stands a larger, dinosaur-like CHARMELEON.

Brock stands by. He looks mildly surprised. No-ones surprised him for a while.

Red stands up from the ground. He looks at Brock.


RED
No. The battle's not over. Not yet.

Red crouches next to Charmeleon.

RED
If we do this, we do it together. Up there,
I can see everything. I'll guide you from the
top. You improvise if you think I'm wrong.
Got it?

Charmeleon nods.

RED
Good.

He gives Charmeleon a thumbs up, and scurries back to his platform.

Brock's platform rises up to battle position, and Red's quickly follows suit.


BROCK
Let the battle begin.

Geodude quickly makes a beeline for Charmeleon, swinging a boulder in his hand-

RED
Wait! Not yet!

Charmeleon gives Red an 'are you crazy?!' look.

Geodude quickly gets closer, preparing to smash Charmeleon.


RED
Wait for it…

Geodude is less then twenty feet away, and closing fast.

RED
Wait…

Geodude reaches Charmeleon, and swings the boulder-

RED
Now! Go around him!

Charmeleon quickly skirts around Geodude as it plunges its heavy boulder into the GROUND-

RED
Now let him have it!

Charmeleon shoots a powerful Fireball that SLAMS Geodude into a nearby stalactite. It slumps to the ground, unconscious.

There's a moment of silence. Brock pulls out Geodude's Poke-ball, and returns it. He pulls out the second one, and throws it-

-releasing a lumbering ONIX, a massive snake made entirely of rocks that towers over Charmeleon ominously.

It bears down upon Charmeleon, quickly chasing it through the rocky field and gaining.

Charmeleon has no chance in the open.


RED
Charmeleon! Head for the rocks!

Charmeleon realizes what Red's up to this time, and makes a left turn for the rocky part of the field-

-Jumping and ducking through spiny rocks and boulders as Onix comes lumbering through after it, tearing the place apart-

The rocks become too close and cluttered for Onix, and it TUNNELS into the ground…

…As Charmeleon reaches the end of the rocky strip, Onix suddenly comes crashing out of the ground, lunging straight for it-

-But Charmeleon jumps to the side, and Onix just gets a face-full of rock.

Charmeleon runs out into the open again, this time turning around and facing Onix as it plows right towards it…


RED
Find cover! You can't be out in the open!

But Charmeleon just plants its feet-

-And JUMPS-

-Over Onix's head-

-And lands on its back, holding on for dear life-

As Onix prepares to tunnel again, Red realizes what Charmeleon's up to.


RED
Let go! Let go of it!

But Charmeleon's not listening. Onix drills-

-Into the ground, taking Charmeleon with it-

Beat. The platforms go still.

All that's left of the two pokemon is a large hole.

Then, there's rumbling-

-Red's platform begins to move again-

-And Onix bursts out of the ground with Charmeleon holding on to the sail on its forehead.

Onix thrashes about, trying to shake Charmeleon off, but Charmeleon holds on-

-And sends a fireball down Onix's throat-

-The fire hits Onix hard, and it slumps to the ground.

Defeated.

Charmeleon slides off Onix's head effortlessly. Victorious.

Both Red and Brock's platforms lower to the ground.

Red runs up to Charmeleon, celebrating in victory. Brock walks up calmly. He pats Onix on the nose, and returns it to its Poke-ball.

Red kneels over next to Charmeleon.


RED
We won. We both won.

BROCK
Here. Catch.

He flips a silver TOKEN in the air. Red catches it.

BROCK
The Pewter City Gym Badge. Proof you beat
the gym. Take it. You earned it. Both of you.

CUT TO:


INT. VIRIDIAN VITY POKEMON CENTER

The banner is not up on the wall.

Dr. Fuji uses one of the phone booths in the empty Viridian City Pokemon Center.

He dials the number, and holds the telephone to his ear.

In his hand, he glances at the card he's been given…


"Giovanni"

"Gatekeeper and Entrepreneur"

The phone picks up.

FUJI
I understand the hour's inconvenient-

OTHER PERSON
(Over Phone)
Has something happened?

FUJI
On the contrary, it's good news.
What would you say to a boat trip?

OTHER PERSON
I'll tell you what I can't say: I can't say
I care much for water.

FUJI
It's a very special boat trip. I need you to meet
me at the harbor in Vermilion City at 7:00
in the morning tomorrow.

OTHER PERSON
Can't say I care much for mornings either.
What's so special about this boat trip,
anyway?

FUJI
I'll tell you along the way. Just be
there.

OTHER PERSON
I'll try. Wouldn't stake my life on it, though.

The phone hangs up.

Fuji sticks it back on the receiver. He looks down at the card in his hand, and the pocketwatch hanging from his vest.

He sighs, and stuffs both things in his pocket.

CUT TO:


EXT. MOUNT MOON – DAYTIME

Red and Charmeleon approach the entrance to Mt. Moon. Absolutely massive.

He looks down at Charmeleon.

Charmeleon returns the look.

Pikachu's Poke-ball-

-Dead-

-Flickers Yellow for just a second…

Charmeleon looks up at the Poke-ball on Red's belt.

One swipe and it's free.

But it doesn't.

Not yet. Maybe never.

…The camera rises up as Red and Charmeleon enter the cave…

…To reveal the peak of the monstrous Mt. Moon…

CUT TO BLACK.



EXT. MOUNT MOON - CONTINUOUS

The entrance to Mt. Moon is deserted.

Completely empty.

Empty…

…SOMETHING scurries past the camera-

CUT TO BLACK.
 
Last edited:

Bluwiikoon

waow!
Location
Gensokyo, Past and Present ~ Flower Land
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. nosepass-bluwiikoon
Hi hi!!! I'm here for the catnip! :D I didn't expect this to be a scriptfic, but it's kind of blowing me away with how good and action-packed it is! The way you describe events within this piece paints a very vivid picture in my mind of just how this would look as a TV series.

A not-quite-human silhouette stands in front of the steps. Dripping.

Researcher stands frozen. Horrified.

A loud buzzing begins to whiz through the air, before-

-The lightbulb above the creature SHATTERS into a thousand pieces.

Researcher springs into frenzied action-

-Rushing to the end of the corridor as lights flicker and POP consecutively-

-He reaches the end of the hall-

-Pop-

-He lowers the ladder-

-Pop-

-He fiddles with the lock-

Pop-pop-POP-

-Researcher throws the door open-
I love this!!! The tense atmosphere of the creature approaching is really exemplified by the lightbulbs all bursting ^^ Its power is that intense!

They pass a MAN who walks down the street with a PARCEL in his hands. Shrewd. Stoic. Vigilant. This is DETECTIVE LOOKER. He’s heading for the POKEMON CENTER that’s just down the street.
:o Interpol is here!!! Very very intriguing...

CLERK
So, you’re a police officer?

LOOKER
Essentially.

CLERK
Essentially?

LOOKER
Essentially.
LOL love this bit of humour to break things up xD

Thunder crashes outside. The window’s curtains are open. Looker gets up and walks over to draw them, but then he sees: OUTSIDE, the Man in Black stands. Looking up at his window.
OOOOOOOO HECK

Intrigue indeed!!

BLUE (Hushed)
Say it. 'I'm a stinking coward.'

Red remains silent.

BLUE
Say it!

He holds Red tighter.

BLUE
Say. It.

Red struggles to breath…

RED
-I'm-A-Stinking-Coward!

Blue releases him. Red gasps for breath.

BLUE
Good. Loser.

:( So mean!!!! Blue is really harsh in this omg

INT. TRADING CENTER - AFTERNOON

Youngster, visibly older, approaches a six-sided TRADING CONSOLE. He places Ratatta's Poke-ball in an indent-

-And a burst of white data shoots up into the DATA stream protruding from the console…

…And a bright tangerine stream takes its place.

The Poke-ball lights up bright ORANGE…

INT. ANOTHER TRADING CENTER – CONTINUOUS

Rattata's NEW Poke-ball rolls out onto a surface surrounded by a gang of whooping children, who snatch the Poke-ball.

INT. GRASSY HILL – SUNDOWN

The rowdy gang of children trade with a boy holding a BUG CATCHER'S NET: Rattata’s Poke-ball for a bag of RARE CANDIES.

YOUNGESTER JOEY smirks behind his sunglasses as he pockets the pokeball.
Hmmmm the events in this section confuse me a bit ^^;

He takes out his POCKETWATCH. Opens it. Checks something. Closes it and puts it away.
:o It's him!!!

RED
You're Professor Oak? The Professor
Oak?

Red quickens his pace to catch up.

RED
You're not some loon with withering
grey hair… I -I mean, you still have
grey hair, but you're not a loon…
Right?

OAK
…Is that what people say about me?

Red looks down at the ground. Awkward.

RED
Some do.

Beat. Silence between them as they walk.

OAK
Amusing.
I love this exchange xD

MIB
I’m not here for an autograph.

FUJI
Everyone’s here for an autograph.
You’re going to try to sell me
something, aren’t you? Well, let’s
cut to the part where I tell you “no,
I’m not interested in a years’ worth
of Jangmo-Os and my picture on the
cereal box”.
Great cereal name! :D

MIB
One grand. In good faith. You will
receive it later today.

FUJI
No strings attached?

MIB doesn’t answer that. He folds up the paper and puts it back in his pocket. No evidence. He heads towards the door, but looks back.
Oh, Fuji, what are you getting yourself into?

Red takes a look at Charmander. What harm could it do. He points it.

The second he points it, the Pokedex suddenly whirs and beeps loudly-

-Red is startled and drops it. His foot knocks over the prop that knocks the stick that sends the apple falling right onto Charmander's tail.

Charmander awakens with a SHRIEK-
What could go wrong? xD

…And next to that, the Pokedex, which Red holds in his hand. Fast asleep.
Hmm, this makes it sound like the Pokedex is asleep and not Red?

Red SCREAMS. He stumbles backwards and drops Charmander's Poke-ball.

Pikachu SCREECHES in response to Red’s scream. It becomes entangled in Red's supplies as it desperately tries to escape.
Pikachu definitely got too greedy here! xD

POKEDEX
Pikachu: Stores electricity in the
pouches on its cheeks. This variety
has been frequently known to steal
food from careless travelers who
leave their bags outside in the middle
of the night.
LOL this pokedex is so sassy!

Charmander looks like it would rather be anywhere else at the moment. It eyes its Poke-ball swinging on Red's belt. And all the other empty ones.

One swipe, and it's free.
Charmander noooooo!!!

Red points at the forest.

RED

Where does that go?

Joey looks at the forest. He smirks.

JOEY
Info’ll cost ya.

Red sighs, fed up. He pulls some change from his pocket, walks over, and hands it to Joey. Joey counts, then pockets it.
Oh god Joey is such a sleeze in this. xD Fantastic!

Rhydon drops the worker at Giovanni’s feet. His shirt is tattered. He’s barely breathing. All the other prisoners have a front-row seat. Giovanni crouches down in front of the worker as he tries to make a sound.

GIOVANNI
Shh. You’ll be in a better place
when you wake.
Harsh and scary!! Making an example of this poor guy by kicking his ass

RED
You can share it.

There’s a silent pause. Neither Charmander nor Pikachu want to take it.

Then, slowly, Charmander crawls forwards. It bites one half out of Red’s hand. Pikachu quickly scurries up and snatches the other.

Charmander takes a small bite of its apple and watches in disgust as Pikachu once again greedily stuffs the entire thing in its cheeks.
God, these two Pokemon are so childish xD

Charmander and Pikachu are sleeping next to each other on the floor. Red finishes pushing the cot back into place, then promptly collapses on it.
:D Friends now???

Once Red is asleep, Charmander cracks open an eye. It can see its Poke-ball, on the desk.

One swipe and it's free.

But it doesn't do anything. Not yet.
Charmander noooooo!!!

Charmander's tail flame whips in the wind as it purposely lures Pikachu from ahead. Pikachu creeps up closer from behind…

…And POUNCES-

-Charmander whips its tail out of the way just as Pikachu lands face-first. It smirks evilly to itself as it continues onwards.
I'm enjoying how these two are playing off each other! ^^

Red holds Pikachu's Poke-ball in his hand as he walks silently. Charmander's Poke-ball is on his belt.

The yellow lights on Pikachu's Poke-ball flicker…

…Then go out.
D: Pikachuuuuu!!!

Brock gracefully walks through the crooked streets of the town, almost dancing around people as he goes.

Red, not graceful at all, stumbles through behind Brock, pushing through people and trying to keep up.
Love the contrast between their demeanors! ^^

SHOPKEEPR
There were five of them- with
pokemon. They all rushed me,
and then they raided my shop for
everything- anything they could
sell. They set it ablaze. And
they stole my- my Nidoran. I don't
know if I'm ever going to see it
again…
Nidoran and not Dragonite, huh?

Charmander suddenly scurries to the left as Geodude sends a rock flying, and Red's platform is off-

-Scooting to the left and right with Charmander as it dodges the Geodude's attacks that make dents in the floor-

Charmander sends a FIRE PULSE towards the Geodude and sends it flying back a few feet into a stalactite.

Red can barely hold on as his platform soars to the left…
Good lort this gym is one hell of a rollercoaster :o Motion detectors!

RED
If we do this, we do it together. Up there,
I can see everything. I'll guide you from the
top. You improvise if you think I'm wrong.
Got it?

Charmeleon nods.
I like this!!! :D Finally some synergy between Red and his Pokemon!

Pikachu's Poke-ball-

-Dead-

-Flickers Yellow for just a second…
PIKACHUUUU PLEASE COME BACK

Charmeleon looks up at the Poke-ball on Red's belt.

One swipe and it's free.

But it doesn't.

Not yet. Maybe never.
:D Friends??

The entrance to Mt. Moon is deserted.

Completely empty.

Empty…

…SOMETHING scurries past the camera-

CUT TO BLACK.
:o Intrigue!!!! AAAAAA

This whole story so far is really fast-paced and hard to stop reading! ^^ It definitely feels like some kind of live-action show with 30 minute episodes, like, say, The Flash.

Some aspects are a bit jarring, like just how much Red gets beat down and how everything goes wrong for him. The dialogue of a lot of characters really leans into cliches and childishness too - for example, I liked the exchange with the Boy and Girl at Pewter Gym, but it's the kind of thing you could copy and paste wholesale into any other show.

It may just be that the tone imitates those live-action hero shows too well, and if that's your intention, you're doing a really good job! ^^ It's just not always my kind of thing, hehe. And y'know, for what it's worth, I still found it hard to put this story down! The sheer amount of things that happen in two chapters keeps it really engaging and fun to read.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and great work! :D
 

SparklingEspeon

Back on Her Bullshit
Staff
Location
a Terrace of Indeterminate Location in Snowbelle
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. fennekin
  3. zoroark
Also, before I forget, review replies!

First off, sorry for not replying to this sooner >.> I really wanted to get another chapter out before I replied... which has happened now, so I guess I should reply now!

I'm gonna have to be honest and say that I think this story has a few issues weighing it down, so apologies in advance for a mostly negative review. I hope I'll be able to be constructive and helpful with my points, though.

No worries, a lot of this was pretty helpful! I basically threw up an old project that I had polished a thousand times but still hadn't figured out the issues with, so I kind of expected to get panned. I don't know if I have too much to respond to, since a lot of the points are genuinely things I didn't have answers for at the time. Although a few of them, like Red not winning the battle at first, are probably going to make more sense in the long term. This review did help we work out a bunch of the problems I had, though, so it was very helpful!


Another more minor criticism is that John Smith Fuji is a very strange name to have. It would make much more sense for someone with a Japanese surname to also have Japanese first names. It's not impossible to have a combination name, but "John Smith" just seems as American as you can get.

I believe this was actually his name from a noveliation of the anime or something. Or, that's what Bulbapedia says, at least. I just cobbled it together from that. I agree it sounds a bit weird from that perspective, though.

I didn't expect this to be a scriptfic, but it's kind of blowing me away with how good and action-packed it is! The way you describe events within this piece paints a very vivid picture in my mind of just how this would look as a TV series.

I'm really glad to hear this! This project started as an envisioning of what a serious pokemon TV series would look like, so I'm happy to see that the core vision gets through even through this will never actually appear on a television screen.

Some aspects are a bit jarring, like just how much Red gets beat down and how everything goes wrong for him. The dialogue of a lot of characters really leans into cliches and childishness too - for example, I liked the exchange with the Boy and Girl at Pewter Gym, but it's the kind of thing you could copy and paste wholesale into any other show.

Yeah, there's a lot of touch-ups that need to be made. I'm just trying to focus on the bigger picture and get it all out right now, because I know that otherwise I'm gonna get laser focused on making it perfect and every episode will take 3000 years to publish (:rowlanxiety:) - but once that's done, I'm planning to go back and do a bunch of revisions. I'll say in regards to the two points that were made that Red getting beaten down a lot in the first two chapters is intentional, but I definitely need to go back and make why clearer, because the current version kind of does make him a bit of a dog toy. While a lot of the dialogue is meant to be goofy, a lot of it could stand to be revised too.

It may just be that the tone imitates those live-action hero shows too well, and if that's your intention, you're doing a really good job! ^^ It's just not always my kind of thing, hehe. And y'know, for what it's worth, I still found it hard to put this story down! The sheer amount of things that happen in two chapters keeps it really engaging and fun to read.

No worries! I was trying to hit something in the vein of The Last Airbender tone-wise - Over the top and goofy, but not afraid to get serious when it needs to be. Although, now that I think about it, that's pretty similar to most superhero cartoons, so I guess I'm not too far off the marK! :quag:
 

WildBoots

Don’t underestimate seeds.
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. moka-mark
  2. solrock
Hi, Esp! Here with thoughts on Episode 1.

I have to admit, I’m not terribly familiar with script formatting. I’ve called out a couple places where it seemed inconsistent to me, but you’ll have to become your own expert here and double-check what the correct standards are.

Overall thoughts:
I do appreciate that you tease some of the Rocket conflict pretty early on. Without that, Episode 1 would just be a retelling of the Gen 1 games. Here’s hoping that being thrust into Crime Drama will force Blue to stop being a jerk, Red to grow a spine, and both of them to become friends or something.

I was confused by some of the relationships at play.

In some places, the hat seems very important to Red. Later, he throws it on the ground and scoffs at it? The text on the back of it is also .... I’m not sure what to make of it and, more importantly, I cannot tell what Red makes if it. It’s hard for me to feel attachment to it as a symbol when I’m not sure why it’s important to him.

I was also thrown by the mom’s behavior towards Red. She’s definitely negligent, maybe sketchy, maybe even something worse. But throughout, I couldn’t help but suspect that this wasn’t intentional? It feels like she’s meant to be a placeholder mom, a signal that his life at home is not important and that Red’s real story is out beyond town and so I shouldn’t think about mom anymore after this. I’m not satisfied by that place for her. I would expect to see more affection between them—for their relationship to matter in some way—or to have a reason for her to be so cold and controlling. I really think she should be either a force pushing him towards the lab and the decision to leave or something to tempt him to stay and to complicate his choice to leave.

I did relate to Oak’s resignation to Blue and his hope that he’ll grow out of it. Sometimes there’s a disconnect between who we’re supposed to love and how we feel about them, especially if they’re not actual members of the household. Blue is REAL abrasive to Oak though. I’m surprised he doesn’t at least try to put on a face for the adults. (Also unsure where the rumors about Oak came from? He seems very competent and respectable.)

I did really enjoy Oak’s lab. The reveal was a genuine moment of splendor, and I can imagine how it would be especially dazzling to a kid.

I didn’t get a lot out of the scenes with Looker holding the journal. They’re so short, which made the juxtapositions feel strange and jumpy to me. I needed more hints about why it was mysterious and important for it to feel earned. As-is, it mostly felt like a MacGuffin.

The last thing I want to make sure to talk about is formatting. Again, I am not the expert, but a few things jumped out at me that seem worth double-checking. There were several places with weird lines breaks, and I didn’t see a clear reason for them. I was also really confused every time “MIB” came up. The first time I thought it was a new character. You kept switching between the acronym and writing it out, which added to the confusion. I was also unsure about some of the all-caps character/object intros. I don’t think you don’t do it for all key objects/pokemon, so watch out for that.

The massive silhouette of the POKEMON MANSION blots out the sky as he runs across the sand.

Suddenly, it EXPLODES in a blast of light and fire-

-Researcher is thrown back-

-And pinned to the ground by a large wooden beam from the explosion.
I couldn’t tell what exploded here, sand or mansion.

MIB watches,
I thought this was the name of a new character.

a House-BELLSPROUT that sits in the potted plant of a second-story window…
I’m really confused/concerned about this bellsprout and its quality of life. Does this mean it’s trapped here?

Several SPEAROW alight upon a cream-colored sign standing in front of the woods- The PALLET TOWN ENTRANCE SIGN.
If you’ve got a super with the name Pallet Town, the sign is redundant.

his feet become entangled in the YELLOW TENT on the floor
Tangled doesn’t feel right. If his tent is on the floor, it’s probably in its bag, right? Like, it wouldn’t even be out of the bag inside the house unless he’d pitched it inside, which is kinda odd.

BLUE (12), a loose-clothed, smug-faced boy with sandy hair,
This implies blonde. It’s fic, so you can do what you like, but it struck me as odd.

RED’S MOTHER
Red! Why are you leaving through the
back door? Use the front, please.
Startled, Red turns around. So close.

RED
But-

RED’S MOTHER
No 'buts.' I won't have you scurrying
out the back door like some undignified
scoundrel. Use the front. Now.
Why is she so hung up on this? Her dialogue in general was odd here. She’s very girlish, which makes it feel harsher that she’s ignoring Red so hard—it doesn’t feel like she’s talking about something that’s genuinely more important than he is.

Get over here; join the show!
Feels like he’s calling to Red, so this wants a period or an exclamation point to better suit an outburst.

Blue's mockery is popular with the other kids. They hoot and jeer in approval.
The other kids should’ve been mentioned earlier as part of the scene-setting, unless I somehow missed it.

BLUE
Here. take your trash.
(To Child-Mob) C’mon, this is boring
now! Let’s go TP someone’s house!
This is a weird thing to do in the middle of the afternoon. Too easy to get caught.

glasshouse
Two words?

-Scarlet ropes of light shoot out of the ball and latch on Voltorb, who dissolves into white energy as the ropes whip back into the ball-
This feels like maybe more description than you need for a script?

What you just saw was
one of the Silph Company's most innovative
inventions to date.
Huh, this is an interesting moment of history to enter the story. I didn’t realize pokevall tech was so new. I would’ve liked to see more about what this cultural moment means. Like, Blue in particular seems weirdly unimpressed by this cool new technology. I’d expect people to be abuzz with it or at least to have opinions.

a RATTATA gnawing on rocks in the field.
Not a stick?

It catches the light, and suddenly the entire room is lit up like a PRISM. The device reveals a HAUNTER floating up above the stage, which laughs, makes a face, and then zips up through the roof.

The Scope falls, and Director catches it cleanly.


DIRECTOR
-Seen. A foolproof way to catch
ghost and psychic-types in any
environment!
This was quite nice!

Red and his Mother sit at a table. A plate of spaghetti is in front of Red; nothing is in front of his mother, who reads a book. She looks over her book at Red. He’s still wearing his hat.
Not sure why mother is capitalized.

(Hushed)
I heard he once asked someone whether
they were a boy or a girl!
This doesn’t quite land for me. I obviously get the reference, but it’s not quite strange enough to be funny to me here and it’s also too weird to sound natural given the tone you’re striking with this story. Like, it’s 2020: Oak is probably just trying to ask about pronouns and is really clumsy at it because he’s old AF. For all I know.

RED’S MOTHER
You can't live your life in fear of
an eleven-year-old boy!
Weird that she gets Blue’s age wrong and Red doesn’t correct her. I feel like he would care. He’s not just being bullied, he’s being bullied by an older (and probably taller?) kid. I’d either Make it a Thing or not have her give a specific age.

Notes are practically falling out of it.

In fact, one falls to the ground.
So then not practically but literally.

Scarlet ropes of light give form to a tiger-striped GROWLITHE.
Canis pointed out other examples, but this kind of description is redundant, especially in this format. You only need to add descriptors if it’s out of the ordinary. Like, a blue growlithe or a spotted growlithe would be worth noting. (Unless your main audience is non-fandom friends?)

He leers at Red, who glowers back. Clearly, they loathe each other.
It is already clear at this point, I’d say.

So, Gramps. gonna rip me one of them
Pok-e-mans, or what?
Not sure why this word is so unfamiliar to him and why he seems to be taking a mocking tone about it. This is cool and exciting, right?
 

HaruMiju

Hero in their dreams
Location
London
Pronouns
They/them, She/her,
Here for Catnip review, and ooh boy this one was a toughie. Apologies for being so slow, I really needed time to word my thoughts. On top of that, general life stuff I won't go into slowed me down a lot. Still, I hope my comments can help you.

-------------------------------



When I started reading more fanfics for review via Catnip exchange, I never thought I’d come across a screenplay! A pleasant surprise and a not unwelcome by any means, but a difficult one for me due to it being a retelling. But when I think about it, if it wasn’t a retelling, then perhaps things would be a lot trickier and harder to process, so credit will go where it’s due.

The best thing a retelling can do is how it adapts and alters the source material to tell a new story, and right out of the gate, we get that with the hints of Dr Fuji’s failed experiment (which I presume is Mewtwo) breaking free and destroying a lab. It’s a fun way to start since it’s Red and Blue’s most interesting plot point, after all.

Thanks to the nature of the screenplay format and its ability to safely jump from scene to scene in real time, we’re treated to a number of different scenarios in many different places at once, and none of it gets confusing due to clear labels each time. Red and Blue’s bitter battle of quiet dreamer and spoilt bully, Giovanni’s cunning observations, and Looker’s investigations all make for an interesting first chapter.

While the story manages to pull the clarity of so many different scenes off well, I still found it difficult to stay entertained, and that’s due to the fact that outside of telling the story in this unique way, nothing is done to actually alter the story itself. The screenplay style is done well in execution, but in the end, I’m still reading scenarios I’ve seen from the game and anime many times in the past.

This point is nothing more than a personal preference, but perhaps some bolder bravery when it comes to diverging the story? Something like giving Red and Blue more of a personal motive to embark on their journeys, or making Professor Oak sound more like the grandparent he’s supposed to be. The best example of this is Looker’s presence, since of course, he isn’t from the games this is based on, so everything involving him here would be an original adaptation that drives an old story in unique directions while staying true to its source. But that brings me to Looker here in general, and one of the few places where I felt the screenplay format fails the story.

Every single scene he was in was short and did nothing but drop an incredibly vague hint, with the problem is that those hints didn’t pay off in any way whatsoever. And I get it, it’s all stuff for the long run, but you’re telling a story at the end of the day. If I can take out an entire portion of a chapter and still get the same outcome, then that content just feels like wasted words, and sadly, that’s how Looker’s sections came off.

INT. RED’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Red tromps down the stairs and heads for the door. He grabs Charmander’s Poke-ball on the counter.

Red walks through the FRONT DOOR, out into the streets of Pallet Town.

He disappears down a corner, and doesn’t come back.

CUT TO:

INT. VIRIDIAN CITY POKEMON CENTER – RAINY EVENING

Looker writes furiously with his pen. On the desk, the JOURNAL lies wide open…

CUT TO:

INT. PEWTER UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE – DAYTIME

Dr. Fuji sits on the wooden bench. He drops his notebook and all his blueprints beside him.

He opens the pocketwatch again, but we don’t see what’s inside.


MIB (O.S.)
Doctor Fuji, I presume?
Fuji is startled. He closes the pocketwatch, and looks at where the voice came from: The Man in Black stares down at him…

CUT TO BLACK.


This part here is the most blatant example of that. You see, all we learn about Looker is that he’s on an investigation about Team Rocket, but basically nothing else despite him appearing in some lengthy scenes. If that was all you wanted to reveal in the chapter, then fair enough, but don’t bring him back to immediately cut to another shot one line later! Perhaps you were going for the sort of outro you would find in the anime or a film, where this sort of idea would work. But this is reading material and not a motion picture, so much of Looker’s scenes came off as wasted text to me.

Where this work succeeds is its portrayal of scenes. The Silph Co. party was brilliant, the description of Oak’s lab is fantastic, and the little we get to see of Red and Blue before they become trainers is neat. It’s here where I can tell that things are well thought out. I actually wish there was more dialogue between these characters, or that there could no holds barred on really driving home some of the scenes. Red’s mother trying to talk to him? Give me more! Blue trying to make a rival out of red with his bullying? Go for it all the way! Fuji’s conflict with the museum manager? Make ‘em fight!

The only other part I found left a lot to be desired was the Pokémon battle. I… admittedly don’t have much advice on this one. I appreciate the fact that the battle is there, and of course, it’s Pokémon – there has to be battles. But reading a transcript of a fight scene that tells you every single action plain as day just didn’t pass as very entertaining. It’s difficult because this fits right into the screenplay style and is exactly what I would expect to find here, but as a thing to read for entertainment, it does the ‘tell rather than show’ sin to the biggest degree, and that stopped it from being fun.

Perhaps the battles or action scenes could be the one area where liberties are taken and the screenplay style is dropped to add more flavour to the text? Or maybe it’s possible to get more descriptive and shorten the battles the same way the areas like Oak’s lab are described. It’s a tough one, and maybe it’s just me picking at something that doesn’t need to be changed at all. I really am torn with it, because I don’t want to advise losing this fic’s identity just for this one case.

Overall, I can see the merits to this one. It sticks to its style and its purpose a little too carefully, so I personally would love to see it go all in with its original deviations to truly turn it into an adaptation. Or perhaps I’ve missed the point entirely and it’s supposed to be as close to a retelling as possible, by which case, it’s doing its job just fine. But for sure, the one area for improvement is to carefully dictate where the screenplay style will hinder this fanfic. Conversations left me wanting more, the battle wasn’t enjoyable to read, and there are some scenes that can be compressed or cut. Remember: you’re still writing something people will read for entertainment, so it doesn’t matter if it dips out of the rules of a playwright every now and then as long as it makes for fun reading.
 
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