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Pokémon People and Humans (one-shot)

Keleri

I Like Cats
Staff
Pronouns
They/Them
Harmony awoke slowly, not the sudden burst of wakefulness that came from sunlight hitting his leaves, but a long struggle to consciousness as if from drugs or illness. He found that his once-comfortable pallet had changed into some kind of cloth mass, and his once brown and strong legs had been transformed into strange, white, spiderlike limbs ending in a surfeit of digits like a chimchar or a jynx.

He rose unsteadily, and found that his front limbs could no longer reach the ground, his hindquarters left high in the air and unbalanced if he attempted it. After some experimentation, he realized that he was intended to walk on two legs like a bird, though wingless. His legs ended in naked chimchar feet and toes.

"What on earth?" he asked aloud, his own voice strange and high-pitched in his ears.

He was in a structure that he did not recognize; gone were the comfortable woven grass walls and stem rafters of his home, and instead there was a blank expanse of whiteness above and below, with various artifacts embedded in the cool, pale rock. The floor was white-colored too, soft and yielding like a moss or lichen.

He struggled to maintain composure in the face of rising panic. He did not know where he was; he could remember his own name at least, but the faces of his friends and family were a confused series of images and their names an infuriating blank at the tip of his tongue.

He was in a dungeon. He had to be in a dungeon. Bizarre things happened when one was in a dungeon: strange portals opened; items and people materialized in solid stone while one watched; gravity changed from down to up; wild, violent people of unfamiliar form appeared, and disappeared once defeated. And one could change shape.

He had never seen a chimchar that was this color, to be sure; this sort of transformation in a dungeon was not unknown, but he had taken on a very strange form that he could not name and could not guess at the typing or abilities of. That was the main problem with being transformed in a dungeon; one lost all of one's inborn abilities, and replaced them with unfamiliar ones that one had no training or practice to use. If one was transformed into the same species as a friend, then at least one might have some idea of the powers accessible to them, but it was essentially useless without the long practice that one would gain growing from a child while using one's powers.

He had awoken on a strange bed, expecting it to be his own, but it was not. Sometimes dungeons had odd furniture in them; occasionally they were stable enough for outcasts and bandits to live in, but much more often artifacts appeared in them the wrong shape or size for any person to use.

The furniture here, though, was not mismatched or battered, and the chest of drawers was filled with fabric, an enormous amount of fabric like the bed he'd awakened on.

After a short exploration he summoned the courage to try what looked like a door in the dungeon chamber; the rectangular door was made of warmer material than the walls, though it was the same color. He struggled with the mechanism for some time before realizing that his chimchar paws could be used to work it by clamping it between the palms and turning.

"This is the strangest dungeon I've ever been in," he said aloud, more for the comfort of hearing a voice in the silent room. He instantly regretted it; hearing his new high voice only served to heighten his anxiety.

He stepped outside into a long hallway, very like a dungeon, but again made of the same pale rock.

Harmony did not remember where his partners were in the dungeon. He was a tropius, or had started life as one, and longed again for the protection of a quick Razor Leaf or Air Slash instead of whatever his current body was capable of. He blew out a few breaths, hoping to summon a burst of fire, and concentrated on the handle of the door, willing himself to turn it by psychic power, but nothing happened. His dull jynx nails couldn't even muster up a Scratch.

He sighed. He couldn't name his dungeon partners, but in his heart he was certain they were on their way to rejoin with him and break the effect of whatever had happened to him.

One was supposed to remain in place in a dungeon when one was lost, that much he did remember, but the room he had awoken in was a dead end, which spelled its own set of problems. They called them "dead" ends for a reason, he remembered someone saying. It was risky to stay and it was risky to move; this time he chose movement.

There were more doors in the rock that he avoided, not wanting to disturb potential enemies inside. Now he was opening himself up to an attack from the rear, but he didn't want to wait. At the end of the hallway he heard voices and movement, and the sounds of steam and fire, and metals clashing. Now that was hopeful; his partners might be around the corner.

He should have remained out of sight until the noises of battle subsided, but he really was desperate to regain his true form. He decided to spy inside the next chamber, pressing his flat face against the wall and moving slowly until one eye could peer in.

The next room was hot and brightly-lit, with numerous creatures inside—creatures like the form he currently inhabited—squawking to one another, with fires lit and steam rising from shining bowls. A white box was opened and cool air rushed out along the floor for a moment before dissipating when the box was shut again.

"Young master," someone said.

Harmony jumped, but an enemy wouldn't say anything first, they would just Slash you in the back. He turned to see another creature. This one was taller and, though also pale, covered in different plumage than him; instead of a long green fuzz on the head, they had black and white fur or hide upon much of their body.

He heard whispering and a giggle behind him, and he turned again to see yet more creatures watching. They looked similar to the one who had spoken to him. It was unusual for clans to live in dungeons, so this looked more and more like a simple cave. Evidently they were not hostile to him, although he had to wonder how he had been rendered unconscious. The possibility that his transformation had persisted outside of the unreality of the dungeon was most concerning.

"The young master has a busy day ahead," the first creature said, deferential. "Would you care to get dressed while we prepare breakfast?"

"Oh, all right, thank you," Harmony said, playing along. This was shaping up to be a very unusual dungeon run.

He allowed the creature to lead him back to the room had awoken in. They manipulated a number of panels in the dungeon walls, revealing the storage of yet more cloth, and he slowly realized they were intended to be articles of clothing. They were much more expansive than the scarves, vests, and belts that he was used to, but he had to admit that the naked hide of his current species did not retain heat very well, especially now that he had been to that much warmer dungeon room down the hallway.

He accepted the clothing from the other creature, pulling on beige leg coverings, a white body covering, and a black and white cap that rested upon the head. There were even smaller coverings to go upon the upper and lower paws.

After this was accomplished, the creature led Harmony back down the hallway, down another route, to an enormous room filled with tapestries, a large table, and chairs. Harmony had to admit that this was far less likely to be a dungeon or cave than a colossal dwelling.

It was quite unlike any such he had ever seen, constructed with incredibly smooth walls without visible timbers, and with scarcely a breath of air inside, though many of the windows were not shuttered and were letting in light.

The creature provided him with a meal, and this too was yet more unfamiliarity: he was given his own platter with which he was served from the main tray, instead of placing the meal on the center of the table to be shared by everyone in the guild or family. In fact there was no food at the center of the table, but rather the creature and others like them appeared to give him various items, including a sweet flatbread with berry compote, and a strange white liquid that he refused in favour of a more familiar berry juice. It was very tasty, although perhaps somewhat overly sweet, and Harmony would have preferred something starchier and more fibrous for a long day of dungeon running, not to mention a good sit in the sun.

As he was finishing the breakfast yet another creature swept into the room, taller than any he had yet seen and with a wildly decorated hide with eyespots. They declared that today was to be the day when he received his first pokémon.

What on earth was a pokémon?

Harmony stared in incomprehension. What was a pokémon, and for what reason was he going to go get one? Who did they think he was? He had not only been transformed by the dungeon, but into someone these creatures thought was familiar to them, and that person seemed to have various duties that he would have to muddle his way through as best as possible.

The brightly-coloured creature watched Harmony, studying his reaction. Finally, they said, low, dangerous, "I would have expected you to be excited, my son."

Harmony was in a strange place with strange customs and expectations, but he hadn't survived as many dungeons as he had without knowing when a person was safe and when they were not.

"Oh, I'm very excited. Father," he added awkwardly, taking a wild stab at gender. "I'm just… really very tired, still. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited," he invented.

The explanation didn't seem convincing to Harmony, but the brightly coloured creature (his father?) seemed to be mollified by it, at least.

"Remember all that I have taught you," the father-creature said. "Remember the message we wish to share with the world."

"Of course," Harmony said, hoping that he wasn't going to be required to recite whatever it was this person was talking about.

Luckily, he was eager to recount whatever it was, it seemed, and so Harmony only had to listen to a confusing speech about the many sources of evil in the world and the good that would come once those evils were eradicated. Normally Harmony would have agreed that fighting evil as a good thing, but something about the way the father-creature said it made him want to support whatever the direct opposite was.

Harmony did his best to nod along and make encouraging sounds at the right moments, but he soon found that didn't seem to be necessary as the father-creature was entirely taken up by the sound of his own voice, the long speech punctuated with wide gestures from his left forelimb. At last, the black-and-white creature from before was summoned to show him to a new destination, and Harmony was all too happy to follow.

There was a series of new hallways, and then suddenly a door opened to reveal, at last, the outside world.

Harmony stepped out into the fresh air, a breath of wind ruffling the green fuzz on his head, and he heaved a grateful sigh. It wasn't the same as sunlight hitting his leaves, but it was a relief to be out of that stuffy dwelling at last. He took stock of his surroundings: the structure he had been in did indeed seem to be a dwelling-place, and it was even larger than he suspected, stretching to either side of the exit.

It was highly regular with straight lines, like when rock types raised slabs of stone to make dens, though with huge windows without shutters. At least, what he thought were windows—they seemed to show the dark interior of the dwelling, but they were crossed with a lattice of lines and the sunlight lanced white and blue reflections off apparently empty space.

Before him was a wide, light-colored stone path that snaked through a broad lawn, upon which there was nothing but a short growth of grass. Trees and bushes were only to be seen quite far in the distance down the path and to either side.

"We wish you well on your journey, young master," said the black-and-white creature. Responding to the look of confusion on his face, the creature added, "Do you recall the way to the laboratory?"

"Sorry, I forgot," Harmony said desperately. "Would you mind showing me the way?"

The black-and-white creature smiled sadly. "Of course, young master, although I suspect your father will be disappointed. Remember, on your journey, you are expected to be able to travel without a minder."

Harmony began to suspect that due to his shorter stature and the way that the other creatures were treating him, he was considered a child, and the thought rather rankled. He was really getting tired of this transformation. "Not to worry," he said lightly. "I can navigate quite well on my own, as long as I have a map."

"Very good, young master," the creature replied. "I suspect they will furnish you with same at the laboratory. For now I will walk with you there if you still need a guide."

They set out along the path and passed out through a set of gates, and shortly they were in environs that Harmony found much more familiar, including a well-trod path through the forest. He began to feel almost cheerful with the smell of the trees around him and little glimpses of the sky and sunlight filtering down through the leaves.

They passed by various forks in the road marked by signs and arrowhead indicators that were covered in white scratchings he couldn't read. Finally they arrived at another straight-line dwelling, though not as large as the one he'd awoken in. In front of it was a gaggle of creatures with various colors of plumage, and, he was relieved to see, some actual people.

Among the creatures, who were talking and laughing with each other, were a number of snivy, oshawott, and tepig.

Excited, he ran up to them, gabbling and dropping to his absurd knees to be more at eye level.

"Hello! I was wondering if you could point me toward the Explorers' Guild, I was separated from my team and—uh…"

He trailed off, seeing the blank looks on the other people's faces.

"What are you talking about?" one of the tepig asked.

An oshawott peeled off and waved her paws at one of the two-legged creatures, who bent down to pick her up in their arms. They saw Harmony and frowned.

"What are you doing? These are our starters," they said.

Harmony waved a paw, placating, and backed off. He didn't understand any of this.

Obviously the people were pretty young. Maybe the creatures were fostering them, and he'd gone and approached their young unbidden. That would explain the hostility. He should have been able to judge age better, but in this shape, perhaps his senses were dull or scrambled.

"Come along, young master," the black-and-white creature said, coming up behind him. "You can play and make friends once you have your own pokémon."

Harmony nodded. When he'd awoken, the black-and-white creature had been a stranger to him, but it was funny how one would cling to something slightly more familiar in a sea of confusion. Gods of sea and sky, he needed to break this transformation. He could only 'play along' for so long.

Inside the new dwelling was yet another white rock room, it too with colourful panels and furniture. He didn't have time to study it as he was whisked in front of a brown-furred creature in white.

"Welcome! My name is Professor Juniper," they said. "Before we get started, please get set up with my assistant for your Trainer ID."

Harmony obediently faced yet another creature who was facing some kind of glowing panel, their paws clacking as they stared at it.

"Name?" the assistant said.

Harmony took a deep breath. "My name is Natural Harmony, a tropius. Listen, I—"

"Natural Harmonia Gropius," the assistant said, clacking. "That's a bit of a mouthful. Do you go by a nickname? Maybe 'Nat'? 'N-H'? 'N'?"

A buzzing sound, and he was handed a card and shooed away.

"I'm sure you've been waiting for this moment for a long time," Juniper said as Harmony rejoined them. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh, nervous?"

Juniper laughed warmly. "I can believe it. This is a big day. Your very own pokémon adventure is about to unfold!"

What was a pokémon?

"Please, pick your starter pokémon."

She threw down things—red?—that Harmony only saw for a moment, but in a burst of light, suddenly there were people in front of him. A snivy, an oshawott, and a tepig looked up at him, and bizarrely, they looked hopeful. Yearning was written over every line of their faces.

"Go ahead and choose!"

His stomach was roiling, and he could taste the berry juice from earlier at the back of his throat. "Uh, I already have a partner," he managed to squeak out. What was a pokémon? These people? These people were pokémon?

"Do you? You can have as many pokémon as you like, although you can only carry six at a time. I'm sure your current pokémon would love to meet a new one!"

Carry? Have pokémon? Was she talking about eggs? Instantly whatever the situation was took on a sinister and disgusting turn.

"I'm—I'm not ready," Harmony stammered. And these people—these were children!

Instantly the red things were out and the people were gone again. The white-clad creature put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right. You don't have to pick now. I know choosing a starter is a lot of responsibility and excitement, and it can be overwhelming. You're strong to say you aren't ready. Come on."

The creature led him outside again, and he followed, nauseous. Now a number of the people—children—he'd seen were battling, each with a creature behind them, with some watching on the sidelines. The creatures seemed to alternately cheer them on or suggest moves to use. Finally, one snivy fell after a strong tackle from a tepig, and raced back to its creature.

It wasn't unknown for parents to offer battling wisdom to a child, but this kind of participation was bizarre. All of a sudden, the red things were in the creatures' hands, and the two children disappeared.

"What was that?" Harmony blurted out. "Where do those people keep going?"

The tall white-clad creature smiled gently at him. "Pokémon are kept in devices like this," they said, holding out a red-and-white sphere with a black line at its equator. "Pokéballs contain pokémon and keep them safe."

He picked up the orb in total confusion. "How—how do they fit?"

Another smile. "They're taken up as energy into the ball, and they sleep there until they're called again."

"They—can't they come out? When they want?"

"Oh, no—that would be very untidy—imagine if an onix let itself out in a building or a car or an airplane! Good trainers let their pokémon out daily," they added quickly, seeing distress spread over his features. "It's a big responsibility. That's why you should only catch as many as you can care for."

They trapped people in little prisons, and carried them around.

Harmony was starting to remember.

A long, long time ago, the sages said, a terrible creature had lived upon the earth and enslaved people. They had no powers, like people did; they were weak, and could be hurt easily, and took days and days to recover. But they were clever, incredibly clever, and they made many ingenious and terrible inventions. At last, one of those inventions had been used to destroy themselves.

He began to shake. In the yard, a swipe from one child had drawn blood on the other, and he had run back to his creature. Instead of taking the oshawott up in their arms, as a parent should have done, they were yelling for him to fight on.

"You… you force them to fight each other… to death…" he said faintly.

"No! No!" the white-clad creature said with growing concern. "Pokémon are healed at pokémon centers after battles. You would be a very bad, a very cruel trainer, if you forced them to fight after fainting."

"Who stops them? Who watches? That one wants to stop fighting, and they won't let him." He pointed at the oshawott and the creature.

The white-robed creature frowned. "He'll learn, they'll both learn. The boy will learn the limits of his pokémon. It's something every trainer has to learn."

"What if someone died? What if a…"—he spat the word—"pokémon died?"

"That's illegal. That trainer would be arrested."

"But not until someone died?"

The white-clad creature gave a nervous laugh. "This is a lot of questions! I think this has been a bit too much for you today. Why don't we call your parents?"

He rose to his weird creature feet. "I think you should stop this, and let them out!" he shouted. "You should let them all out! Why are you doing this? Where did you get these people to keep in balls? Where are their parents? Stop this! Stop all of it!" Tears were blurring his vision. He sank to his knees, covering his strange, flat face with his hands, and began to weep.

The white-robed creature stayed beside him, rubbing his shoulders. After some time he heard a familiar voice.

"Come now, young master."

x.x.x.x.x

The black-and-white creature helped him back to his dwelling, although he did not return by that main exit, but by one hidden behind the building in the forest land behind it. They brought him back to the room he had awoken in, provided a new set of clothing, and left and returned with another meal before finally leaving Harmony to his own thoughts.

Chief among them, ugly and crawling, was the thought that he was a long, long way away from the lands that he knew, and that his transformation was not to be a short one. Not at all.

But he couldn't sit and wait for his friends to find him. There were people, children, out there even now, snatched up from their parents and tucked into prisons for the amusement of demons.

He had to act.

"Is there anything else we can get for you, young master?" the black-and-white creature asked him, when they returned again.

"I need supplies for a journey—traveling clothes, water, berries, a map, tools," he said. "And please, no more of this 'young master' business—call me N."

x.x.x.x.x

A/N: Shout-out to whoever on the discord (search sez Namo) posted about N not being a zoroark but being a zoroark from the PMD world reverse-isekai'd into the mainstream pokemon world. :B Hope you enjoyed.
 

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
Yoooo Namo's premise was fantastic, and I'm glad it already inspired someone to write a fic! And of course I'm always here for one of your fics.

At first I wasn't expecting this to be N, since N's so often associated with zoroark, and then tropius seemed like kind of a random choice. But then the name thing, oh my god. I guess I should be thanking whoever you said pointed out the grovyle/tropius -> gropius thing, but still.

I thought it was fun how N initially isn't *too* alarmed by the situation, like... Yeah, wake up changed into something bizarre and in unfamiliar surroundings, but hey dungeons are weird and sometimes shit happens. He's really quite functional despite the increasingly strange situation, which makes him seems like an experienced adventurer, someone who'd have learned to take this sort of thing in relative stride and focus on getting out of danger rather than panicking.

I liked how awkward you made it sound for N to be opening the door--sounds like he got it done in pretty much the worst way possible. tbh I'm kind of surprised he didn't have more difficulty with acting reasonably human, considering he's a pokémon with such an extremely different body plan than a human. Identifying himself as some kind of weird chimchar means he understands the whole bipedalism thing in theory, but walking upright is actually really tough! Even eating with his hands (I was going to say utensils, but he had toast, right? Nice save) would be super weird for somebody used to grabbing stuff in their teeth. It's tough, you want to get to the actual meat of the story rather than focusing on "Ohhh noooo I can't waaaalk," but a touch more of the strangeness and not coping well with a totally different body would have worked well for me.

As he was finishing the breakfast yet another creature swept into the room, taller than any he had yet seen and with a wildly decorated hide with eyespots.
I love that Ghetsis apparently wears his terrifying eye-robe to breakfast.

In front of it was a gaggle of creatures with various colors of plumage, and, he was relieved to see, some actual people.
This is a great line, and really brings the story's title home. Definitely made me smile.

But at the same time, it doesn't actually work that well for me? At this point, N's still assuming he's some (shitty) kind of pokémon, right? There may be non-pokémon animals in the PMD world, but none that would wear caps or build big stone dwellings. So they must be some pokémon species he isn't familiar with. In that context, this doesn't mean that N sees a distinction between humans and people, because he still has no idea that he's dealing with humans here... It suggests that pokémon species he isn't familiar with aren't granted personhood the same way ones he recognizes are, which is obviously pretty yikes.

The white-clad creature gave a nervous laugh. "This is a lot of questions! I think this has been a bit too much for you today. Why don't we call your parents?"
God damn it Aurea Juniper did not spend eight years on a PhD about the origin of pokémon to get stuck corralling a bunch of preteens and overexcited starter pokémon, why is she stuck dealing with this weird kid she has actual work to do here.

At last, one of those inventions had been used to destroy themselves.
I'm deeply curious! What would that have been? Something like Lysandre's ~ultimate weapon~ but calibrated to wipe out humans instead of mon? Good old nukes?

I like the part where N shows up at the lab and slowly comes to realize what's going on the best. I love his enthusiasm at seeing some actual familiar people followed by confusion over this bizarre ritual they're engaged in and his slow realization of just how far from home he is, and how terrible everything is here. I love Professor Juniper completely talking past him while doing her best to help out this strange child she doesn't know, and how she ultimately makes everything worse by helping N to realize what's going on. I also like how N's first response isn't "I need to get home" but "I need to fix this."

This scenario doesn't quiiite seem to fit with the N I feel I know, though. I'm guessing what's going on here is N is younger than we see in canon, and then Ghetsis manages to nab him again and develops his whole "liberation" shtick later? Like, presumably he wasn't going on about that stuff before N, presumably, planted the seeds? And it's kind of cool to think of some of Ghetsis' obvious hatred for N has to do with him clearly being a changeling--like, even to someone as self-absorbed as Ghetsis it's gotta become clear that his son had a sudden and dramatic personality change. I mean, he spontaneously forgot how to read! But then why does N go along with Ghetsis' plan and buy into the whole "King of Team Plasma" thing the way he does in Black/White? I can't imagine that he'd ever trust that Team Plasma was ever truly into pokémon liberation; he seems to get Ghetsis' number really dang fast. And maybe he'd play along with reviving the dragons in the hopes that they really could fix things and/or send him home. On the whole, the fervency which which N clings to the idea of destined heroes and Team Plasma in canon doesn't seem to line up with what we see in this story. And there are little details like the "Harmonia" name deriving from N's pokémon name, but Ghetsis also goes by that and I just cannot see him adopting it after his weird "new" son starts calling himself that. idk, to me it feels like it's close, but doesn't *quite* fit with N's story/character as I see it.

Also gotta wonder what happened to N's actual son. Did he get bamfed into the pokéworld and is now living it up as a tropius? I can only hope, I guess; the alternatives are pretty grim.

Regardless, this is a really cool fic and I love how you did a PMD-mon's impressions of the pokéworld. This N seems like a genuinely interesting character who'd be fun to follow on his journey... In general the story of Gen V retold from his perspective would be a lot of fun, wouldn't it? Hrm. In any case, it's great to see another fic from you, and I enjoyed reading it quite a bit. Happy January!
 

Keleri

I Like Cats
Staff
Pronouns
They/Them
Thank you so much for reviewing!!!

tbh I'm kind of surprised he didn't have more difficulty with acting reasonably human, considering he's a pokémon with such an extremely different body plan than a human. Identifying himself as some kind of weird chimchar means he understands the whole bipedalism thing in theory, but walking upright is actually really tough! Even eating with his hands (I was going to say utensils, but he had toast, right? Nice save) would be super weird for somebody used to grabbing stuff in their teeth.

This is a great point, and I'll keep it in mind for future transformation stories/sequences. I have him refusing milk too but then I was like "wait, moomoo milk". Maybe he doesn't know any Miltank

It suggests that pokémon species he isn't familiar with aren't granted personhood the same way ones he recognizes are, which is obviously pretty yikes.

Shit, fuck, shit Thank you for catching this!!! With this in mind I'd consider changing the narration to first person past tense, so then the story clearly is being told by TropiN after the fact and informed by his present knowledge about humans as a category separate from pokemon.

idk, to me it feels like it's close, but doesn't *quite* fit with N's story/character as I see it.

For sure, this would be sort of like a John Keel --> Sam Vimes/Gabriel Bell --> Sisko AU situation, where things go differently because of the new person standing in for a major history/plot figure. TropiN having nearly the same name as N we can put down to uhhhhhh narrative resonance.

If it was going to be a longfic/BW retelling, off the top of my head I'm thinking the next bit would be about TropiN totally floundering because he can't survive in The Human World on his own and meeting some pokemon allies, but ultimately being snatched back up by Ghetsis, his true nature coming out, and being forced to use his perfect understanding of pokemon language to serve big G in some way. I toy a little bit here with the idea that G sending N out to get a starter is a younger N and part of an initial plan that backfires and they end up waiting (re-educating (brrrrr) TropiN to serve as real!N was intended to) a few years to try the Team Plasma plan instead.

TropiN would probably go along with Ghetsis' plan/use Ghetsis' money/power insofar as he would be able to avoid directly hurting any pokemon (and would be all too eager to liberate/"liberate" them from trainers), but would be constantly poised to bail and actually, really free all pokemon, and not hesitate to use Reshi, Zek, or Kyu or all three to hurt human civilization to achieve that :sweats:

Also gotta wonder what happened to N's actual son. Did he get bamfed into the pokéworld and is now living it up as a tropius? I can only hope, I guess; the alternatives are pretty grim.
HE'S DOING GREAT AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENED
 

Adamhuarts

Mew specialist
Partners
  1. mew-adam
  2. celebi-shiny
  3. roserade-adam
I went into this story blind and not knowing what to expect. For a while I thought it was just a regular pmd story, but then I ended up being really confused by what the character's species were and what even was going on, then I reached the halfway point and my brain went 'ah yes, it's all coming together.'

This was definitely an interesting premise, one I wish I had seen more of, that is to say a pmd character getting flung into the normal human/pokemon world. You don't see a lot of those, and I like how you made your character N, and funny enough this seems like a plausible au origin for him. I'd imagine a pmd mon to view the whole pokemon/human relationship as barbaric and unfair to some degree at the very least, and N's reactions here seemed pretty believable.

This was a pretty interesting oneshot, and I almost wish there was more to it. Was a good read overall. Well done ^^
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
Harmony awoke slowly, not the sudden burst of wakefulness that came from sunlight hitting his leaves, but a long struggle to consciousness as if from drugs or illness.
This is a line that would normally work really well in any other setting, but do... do pokemon in the PMD world do drugs? I imagine the answer could be yes, but then that really opens up a lot of questions, such as -- are they recreational? medicinal? can drugs even effect tropius? would N be the kind of person to either frequently use recreational drugs or frequently require medical ones?

Maybe an easier/more relatable one for N would be getting hit with a forced-sleep move or something?

He was in a dungeon. He had to be in a dungeon.
I really like this line of wrong (but logical) thinking! There are orbs that turn pokemon into items, after all, so this would totally make sense. Him treating the castle as a mystery dungeon is also a brilliant idea.

If one was transformed into the same species as a friend, then at least one might have some idea of the powers accessible to them, but it was essentially useless without the long practice that one would gain growing from a child while using one's powers.
Likewise, good train of thinking here, but (personal preference) the repeated usage of "one" makes this paragraph read pretty awkwardly since he's speaking from personal experience/as if this happened before, so the use of a hypothetical "one" doesn't really fit. Also, you use "you" later with "They might just Slash you in the back". Something like "If he'd been transformed into the same species as a friend, then at least he might've had some idea..." might fit better.

The furniture here, though, was not mismatched or battered, and the chest of drawers was filled with fabric, an enormous amount of fabric like the bed he'd awakened on.
lmao I love how you foreshadow that he's not wearing clothes here

He struggled with the mechanism for some time before realizing that his chimchar paws could be used to work it by clamping it between the palms and turning.
hilarious mental image here.

"Oh, all right, thank you," Harmony said, playing along. This was shaping up to be a very unusual dungeon run.
SO POLITE.
This is a really clever, delicate way to write comedy -- the situation is serious and the character is taking things seriously, but in doing so he's creating humorous situations that he doesn't know about. I thought this was great.

and a strange white liquid that he refused in favour of a more familiar berry juice. It was very tasty, although perhaps somewhat overly sweet, and Harmony would have preferred something starchier and more fibrous for a long day of dungeon running, not to mention a good sit in the sun.
poor baby would be stunned to know where that white liquid came from.
Also, the casual details about what Harmony prefers are great here.

"Oh, I'm very excited. Father," he added awkwardly, taking a wild stab at gender. "I'm just… really very tired, still. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited," he invented.
This line is... *chef's kiss*

"Natural Harmonia Gropius," the assistant said, clacking. "That's a bit of a mouthful. Do you go by a nickname? Maybe 'Nat'? 'N-H'? 'N'?"
*CHEF'S KISS*
I love how she's so eager to nickname him without his consent. Really matches the "get your starter child and give it a new name and then throw it into battle" mood.
Isn't Ghetsis's full name Ghetsis Harmonia Gropius though? Also I think canonically he raised his kid to hate humans instead of that appearing on its own because no one would just develop an aversion to training on their own, so it's a little unclear how much of this meshes with that timeline/canon (if at all)
also what happened to Ghetsis's actual kid wait a sec

But they were clever, incredibly clever, and they made many ingenious and terrible inventions. At last, one of those inventions had been used to destroy themselves.
Is this reference to the XY cannon canon?

"But not until someone died?"

The white-clad creature gave a nervous laugh. "This is a lot of questions! I think this has been a bit too much for you today. Why don't we call your parents?"
I love the dialogue here, and how it basically is just this poor assistant pouring more and more fuel on the fire and not being able to defend the ideology correctly. I'd be really curious to see how Harmony would've reacted to the other defenses of training -- oh yeah, they actually like this; they're not smart enough to battle on their own so they need us; this is how you earn their TRUST.

But he couldn't sit and wait for his friends to find him. There were people, children, out there even now, snatched up from their parents and tucked into prisons for the amusement of demons.
yeee, brave brave boi gonna is about to isekai the FUCK out of Unova.

The execution of the concept here is really clever, and I like the pacing on this. It's just long enough to realize that something is horribly wrong -- the buildup to the battling bit is really well-done, and Harmony's distress in response to watching the babies fight is a great climax. The body fuckery is really good as well (there was a nice line where he was afraid of his own voice that I thought rocked). And there are a lot of bits that just fit; of course he's socially awkward and fascinated by random shit like ferris wheels.

I sort of wish he hadn't called the humans "creatures" -- sort of implies that he instinctively others/treats as non-humans the things that he doesn't recognize, which undermines the point a bit. I tried to think of a better replacement word and came up with nothing, though.

Still though, really loved how you pull this off -- I ended up being inspired to write my own take on this concept around the same time you did, and I like the choice to follow this one scene really closely to its logical conclusion. Thanks for sharing!
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Okay, so... When I first came in to read this story, I didn't actually realize nor remember that my rambling on discord was what inspired this story! So as I was reading it, I was almost a little sad that you had come up with the idea before me, or it was some kind of convergent evolution going on with the idea. By the time I got to the author's note, I just laughed.

Anyway, I think I'm just going to give a broader review of this one, because I think my feedback overall would be somewhat clouded with how funny it was to me and in general my thoughts. In particular, I liked the way you worked with the prose to be somewhat like xenofiction with some of the phrasing you used. For example, foreleg instead of arm, or paw instead of hand, and so on.

There's a little awkwardness in how the story starts. It falls for a very common pitfall in a lot of PMD stories where it really, really lingers on the person getting used to their body. That's understandable to some extent, especially going from Tropius to human, but I think some of that could be spread out instead of front loaded. The way this tied into his behavior in the canon games, though, made a lot of sense! Though being a Tropius was a little bit of a stretch just for the sake of a name. I suppose being a Zoroark was just too cliche.

Overall, though, this was a really nice, quick "proof of concept" for the theory brought up in discord, and I'm happy to see it brought to life! There are definitely still a lot of extra questions left over, like how N showed up there in the first place, or what it all meant, or what world N came from--as humans are known in the PMD world in canon--but I don't think those questions need to be answered for something of such a small scope. Overall, then, good job, and thanks for the read!
 

windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
I remember wanting to read this way back when it was first posted and never getting around to it. So here we are!

And to start off, let me just say that this was a fun, well-executed concept. There’s just something interesting about the idea of N being a human-turned pokemon on a mission to fix the wrongs that he perceives. (And honestly, I’d argue that N has a point to some degree here, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Prose-wise, I think it’s great for the most part, though the beginning felt a bit... clunky, I guess i would say? Namely, the first couple of paragraphs. Something about them just feels a bit rushed or off, and I can’t quite pinpoint or articulate why. After that though? It picks up quite a bit and becomes a rather enjoyable read.

Also, that name pun. Glorious.

As much as I like it... it leaves me asking a lot of questions and feels like there’s something missing, like there’s a lot more to the story. For example, it’s made rather obvious that there was an N, a child that he has either replaced or took over, and I can’t help but wonder what happened to that child. Did they switch places? Did N take his place in the human world so that the other humans wouldn’t notice his disappearance? Is he just gone? I dunno, just some interesting little things to speculate on in the places where there are gaps.

I do like the implications that Ghetsis was always on his bullshit, but N’s sudden “we must free the pokemon” stance is likely what led to Team Plasma as we know them.

Anyways, I think that’s everything I wanted to cover, so I’ll leave this off here. Fun story, will likely check out more of your work sometime in the future.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
Roulette has given me an excuse to finally jump on the JaNuary train, and I'd been meaning to read this one for a while, so it all works out!

I think my favorite part of this is the way that N justifies all these bizarre things as the trickery of a particularly strange mystery dungeon. It lets you get lots of fun "what is this body, what is all of this" reactions without getting bogged down in "I've transformed???? how?????" And your descriptions of all the unfamiliar things were a lot of fun to read.
Normally Harmony would have agreed that fighting evil as a good thing, but something about the way the father-creature said it made him want to support whatever the direct opposite was.
This got a pretty big laugh out of me.
"Oh, I'm very excited. Father," he added awkwardly, taking a wild stab at gender.
A+++
Harmony took a deep breath. "My name is Natural Harmony, a tropius. Listen, I—"

"Natural Harmonia Gropius," the assistant said, clacking.
Even though I already knew the reason why you had him as a Tropius, I still wasn't ready for this line.

As the others have already said, I feel like this works best on its own as a standalone short, without really thinking too hard about how exactly it would jive with BW canon. (Would be a heck of an AU to explore though.) And of course, I love the effect you get from referring to the Pokemon as people, and N's total bafflement at these "Pokemon" that everyone keeps mentioning?? What is a Pokemon???
 

Equitial

Ace Trainer
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. espurr
  2. inkay
  3. woobat
  4. ralts
The definite highlight of this one-shot for me was the description of the familiar though a non-human POV. I'm so so so impressed at how elegant and clear your writing was, and I re-read some bits just to nerd out over how smooth everything is. I bookmarked this page so I can use it as an example of how to write unfamiliar familiar if I need to do so in the future.

The only bit that suck out as unnatural was when Harmony started referring to Pokemon as "people". Harmony comes from a PMD world, where everyone is a Pokemon. If everyone is a Pokemon and he thinks of all Pokemon as just "people", then the idea of a "non-person" being shouldn't come to him because it'd just be beyond his comprehension, right?
 
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