Marowak Dojo ~ Hidden Quarters

[Tanuki]

Cats were experts of stealth; Zane knew this. He also knew from what some source he thinks told him one time that zangoose are part cat. From this, he deduced he must be decent at stealth. Decent enough to not wake Dave, at least.

He tread lightly on the floor, light as a titanium feather, carefully creeping through the door. He saw his target immediately and clutched the box and card just a bit tighter.

House arrest for an apology. Ridiculous. What a waste of time. It’s not like he even cared about these people, their opinions of him, or even if they’d accept him after such a horrible mistake (if they would’ve ever accepted him at all). He didn’t give any of that any thought whatsoever, and he definitely wasn’t thinking of it right now.

He was, in fact, not thinking about it to such a degree that his left and right feet decided to switch places without him knowing. This sent him tumbling forward. Were his mind not occupied with not thinking about what everyone else thought of him, he might have been able to recover.

Instead, he fell right down, only managing to pull the package out from beneath him before he fell right onto the dozing Dave.

 

[Dragonfree]

"Augh! What the fuck -" Dave jolted awake in a state of sudden panic as an unfamiliar weight flopped onto his back. His limbs failed automatically for purchase, and after a second of struggling he managed to squeeze out from underneath the mass of white fur. Without thinking, on instinct, he turned around to face the attacker, snarling, fur fluffed to make him bigger, until he caught himself.

"...Oh. You. Of course it fucking is." He gritted his teeth, trying to convince the fur on his back to go back down. "What the fuck are you doing here? Get out of my fucking room."

 

[Tanuki]

Zane hopped up as quickly as could. His desperate attempt at damage reduction, however, reduced next to nothing. Dave proved much more nimble than he and yelled at him before he'd even stood all the way up. Zane panicked.

He didn't know what to say. Dropping it off while Dave slept should have kept him from having to say the apology. Luck, of course, despised Zane, leaving him with no idea what to do. He clutched the Heart-Shaped Box to his chest while a blush he could swear made it through his fur. While his emotion came through his face, its meaning failed spectacularly.

He stuttered, mumbled, and completely failed to say a single comprehensible word as he grew more and more flustered. He squeezed the heart just a bit tighter. "I, well, the fallen, you—or, for this—you. For you, I—when I—" mercy shut his mouth for him, frustration clenching his teeth. He gave it his absolute best and got the absolute worst in return. From his words to the unfortunately shaped box, he delivered the worst possible wrong message.

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave peered at the babbling Zane, and at the heart-shaped box.

"...Please tell me you're not trying to say what it sounds like you're trying to say."

 

[Tanuki]

This certainly wasn’t the reaction Zane expected. Why shouldn’t he say this? Well, he had yet to really say anything, but what was wrong with what he was trying to say?

Some sliver of assurance saved him. He just needed to explain his feelings clearly. Surely Dave could understand. “W-when we met, you know, the—” he didn’t have to say it outright, did he? “—incident. Ever since then, I’ve just felt...”

Why was he being so careful here? He didn’t care. He told himself over and over that he didn’t really care. It was just for appearances so the team would willingly work with him; that’s why he ruined his reputation by robbing a store and putting everybody who came to save him in danger. It was nothing.

He held out the box, avoiding Dave’s eyes as best he possibly could. “You’ve just been on my mind, is all.” Being so direct, he knew for certain he wouldn’t be misunderstood.

 

[Namohysip]

Diyem briefly contemplated if he should step in to straighten things out for Zane's sake. He could easily explain what he really meant.

He didn't.

 

[Dragonfree]

"Oh my God. Are you fucking serious with this?" Somehow, among all the levels on which this was ridiculous, the one that truly stuck out was that anyone whose idea of sexy was a fucking Poochyena should not be dated by anyone.

 

[Tanuki]

While Zane didn't know of Diyem's decision, he'd already made it a habit to curse their organizer any time he was frustrated. A specific image and person to curse served much better than his usual vague curses towards some "creator" or "God" back home. Zane "prayed" more than probably any religious leader. He was certainly devout.

"Yes, all right?!" he spat through grit teeth. "I did it for you. The break in. The stupid monster. All because I feel... y'know." His reliance on what Dave did or didn't know would surely be the death of him.

 

[Dragonfree]

"Oh my God. You are out of your fucking mind."

Even as he said that, even as all that ran through his head was how this insane fucking excuse for a person could even exist, the fact the Zangoose was three times his size somehow rendered the whole situation less funny than it should have been. He felt his ears pressing flat against his head, the fur on his back fluffing up again, that stupid Poochyena instinct to run the fuck away.

"Look," he snarled, "I don't know what kind of wild fucking fantasy you've got going on where I'm going to date you if you break into a fucking store and bring me chocolate, but you're a fucking lunatic and I hope they lock you up for life. Get the fuck out of my room."

 

[Tanuki]

Zane froze. He misheard. He knew it. No way he’d—every wrong signal sent ran through his mind. Disgust and horror followed realization, but couldn’t break through his frozen expression.

“Date?” he finally asked. Once he finally understood the situation, he could properly dodge personal responsibility. How could Dave possibly think Zane wanted to go on a date? While he had every answer to that question, he ignored each one.

“How conceited are you?” Zane’s lips curled into a snarl. "You're so full of yourself that you think I'd want to date a dog? I'm a human! I'm not into pokémon!" Curio's image flashed through his mind. He refused to think about it. "Or guys!" A gag helped prove his point while he tossed the box in front of Dave. "An apology. I got this to apologize. For throwing you." He crossed his arms and shook his head. How ridiculous could Dave possibly be?

 

[Dragonfree]

Dave stared at him, everything boiling. "An apology? You bizarre fucking shitclown. Here you are sneaking into rooms like the creepiest fucking stalker, going on about your fucking feelings for me, and I'm the fucking weirdo? I swear to God, you may be the most insufferable motherfucker I've ever met, and I've met some insufferable fucking creationists."

He paused, took a deep breath and shook his head. Why even bother? This guy was clearly a fucking brick wall.

"Oh, hey, look, I'm walking out of here, because I can do that, because I didn't rob a fucking store last night. Thanks for the chat! Looking forward to never seeing you again."

 

[Namohysip]

Diyem wondered if this should have been interfered with after all. Team unrest wouldn't do well in the middle of a fight, after all.

Still, it was much more entertaining than Perish Book, so he continued to let it happen.

 

[Tanuki]

Zane matched Dave’s rage degree for degree. Here he was giving a heartfelt apology, and this was his thanks. Despicable. He cursed Diyem at every sentence. Diyem, if you’re listening, go soak your tail.

So blinded by rage, he barely saw Dave start to leave. “Don’t forget your apology, Poochums!” he shouted, hurling the box of chocolates at the mutt.

 

[Namohysip]

Always and forever, Zane, my precious, will I listen.

 

[Tanuki]

Zane shook at the words. Deities rarely returned his calls. He liked it better that way. Call me precious again, I’ll tear you to pieces and roast you with your own tail. You’ve got enough meat on you to end world hunger.

 

[Namohysip]

How predictable of you to throw the first stone from your glass doghouse, human. Consider yourself lucky I slimmed down your new body or you'd have exhausted the food reserves.

 

[Tanuki]

Zane barely kept from shouting, It’s not my fault I’m big boned!

 

[Dragonfree]

So blinded by rage, he barely saw Dave start to leave. “Don’t forget your apology, Poochums!” he shouted, hurling the box of chocolates at the mutt.

The box bonked Dave in the head and then fell to the ground. "Jesus. What's wrong with you."

Could dogs eat chocolate in this world? ...Whatever. Let Diyem fix it.

"Thanks for the chocolate, asshole." He picked up the box in his jaws and left the room.

 

[Tanuki]

Unbelievable. Not even a hint of gratitude even though Zane so kindly delivered the gift Dave so cruelly left behind. Despicable. Zane had to wonder how Diyem let such an antagonistic person on their team.

With Dave gone, though, his boiling rage slowly subsided, leaving boredom in its place. Imprisoned for this? At least he still had the card. He did have one more person to apologize to, so a few scribbles and rewrites repurposed the card for Necrozma. He dropped it off in the hidden quarters and decided someone else would probably deliver it for him eventually.

Niceties taken care of, he went out to the dojo in hopes of something to do, cursing Diyem all the while.

 

[Tanuki]

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