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Pokémon In Tandem

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. custom/chikorita-saltriv
  2. custom/bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
Humans are complex creatures.

A story of a Tropius who becomes a trainer in Paldea, and the friends she makes on the Internet. A spinoff to my main Pokemon story, Eternal Shadows.
coleane.png

Art by Gravemind

I would like to request that any reviews aren't too harsh, if that's ok. I also prefer reviews on the story and characters rather than just the prose and grammar, but I'll still accept feedback on those. Line-by-line reactions are perfectly fine, though!

Other sites where this fic is also at:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39448353
FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14090750/1/In-Tandem

Chapter 1: A not-very-great mother.
 
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Chapter 1: Last Day

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. custom/chikorita-saltriv
  2. custom/bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
Chapter 1: Last Day

Post Town, Mist Continent

"Now, Coleane, what did we say about giving out names freely?" my Aurorus mama said to me, looking at me sternly.

"We don't do that," I said, before craning my neck up at my mother. "But Treami does! And Ansala! And—"

"And we don't. That's not the way we do things in our family," mama scolded. "Outside of this house, I am Aurorus, and you are Tropius. Anything more isn't appropriate."

"But mama! All the humans go by their names!" I protested, fanning out my wings. "I wanna be like them!"

Mama sighed, and her sails drooped. "Coleane. We are not, and never will be human. I've told you this far too many times already."

"But mama! I want—" I began, before mama stomped her forelegs.

"Listen to me, Tropius!" She shouted, and I shuddered. She only used my species name in the house when she was mad. "We don't go by our names in public. That's the way our family always has been."

I looked down at the wooden floor as my wings drooped. "Ok, mama," I said, hanging my head and turning away.

"You're grounded for a week, Tropius. No bananas, and I won't be using your name even in the house. Understand?" mama said, fanning her sails out.

"Yes, mama," I said, before turning around and trotting away into my room. The paintings on the walls felt scorning as I trotted past them, the artists' names emblazoned on the bottoms of each one. They were publicly known by their names, and all mama wanted me to be known as publicly was Tropius.

Why couldn't I be like the humans? Why couldn't I go by my special name? Many of my friends went by theirs, why couldn't I go by mine?

Why did mama have to be so stubborn? It's not fair! And now she won't even let me have any bananas for a week! Or call me by my special name!

I wished I could just leave. I wanted to be a hero, like Gen and Vernir, and maybe even join the World-Savers' Council! I wanted to live like the humans!

But I was stuck here, living a life without a special name.

Humans all had special names that they went by, didn't they? According to the rumors, they had so many cool things! Everyone going by their special names like it was the most normal thing in the world, and everyone being accepting of it. Gigantic vessels that could travel the seas and skies, like how trains were for land. Ways of reaching up into the night sky, and seeing the stars up close. Worldwide telepathy. They even flew to the moon!

I wished I could go to the human world. No more being a courier, I could have a human job instead! Like being a hero!

Yeppers. That'd be nice.

===================================================================

Gilded Gaggle of Goofs

#general

Delino: Boutta have my last battle as a trainer. Wish me luck.

Ta Writeer: still dont think you need to do this

MonDegreen: Yeah! You were killing it out there!

Delino: Then I had that fifteen battle losing streak.

Delino: I can't afford to keep doing this.

Sad Snom: Good luck, Delino. Wishing you well.

Tapestry: Best of luck out there!

MonDegreen: I'm an hour late, but good luck!

Delino: Thanks for the luck, but it was for naught.

Delino: Got completely curbstomped by the guy's Delphox.

Ta Writeer: awww

Delino: Looking for new homes for my team.

Delino: Gonna keep Sticks, but my other Pokemon are up for grabs.

Ta Writeer: why cant you just keep them all

Delino: Told you before. Can't afford to care for them without enough earnings from battles.

Ta Writeer: and familys not an option

Delino: Ye. Mom would probably trade them away for something more competitive.

Delino: How'd you like to have Vivillion, Degreen?

MonDegreen: :O

MonDegreen: I'd love to, but we don't have a trade system here in Orre

MonDegreen: Plus she might get stolen

MonDegreen: Besides, it wouldn't be the same

MonDegreen: I wish I could meet a real wild Pokemon, one without a trainer. A wild Pokemon, like the other regions have

Delino: Aight. How about you, Snom?

Sad Snom: I would appreciate that. I will take care of her as best I can.

Delino: Aight. I'll send her your way soon.

Sad Snom: She will live a good life here with the Pearl Clan.

Delino: Thanks for supporting me on this journey, fellas. Been a fun ride. Sad it has to end, but I gotta pay the bills, and this isn't working.

Tapestry: You were a good trainer, Delino. Took great care of your Pokemon, and helped them however you could from what I saw. That's far more than I could say for the trainers I had to rescue Pokemon from.

Delino: Thanks, Tapestry.

===================================================================​

My eyes slowly opened, before I shot wide awake at what I was seeing.

Colors. So, so many colors. Every color I could possibly imagine, and even many I couldn't even dream of. And in the distance, there was a speck of white, looking almost like some sort of portal.

I looked down, and saw that I was standing on nothing! I was floating!

What was going on?

"Welcome to the world of humans!"

"Huh?!" I yelped, frantically looking around. Who said that—?!

Wait.

The world of humans?

Was…was my wish coming true? Was I really going to go to the human world?

I flapped my wings in joy, and shouted at the top of my lungs, "THANK YOU!"

"Hah, I see you're excited. Very well then! Now. Before I send you off, I need to get to know you a bit better through some questions. Answer every one honestly," the voice said, before asking the first question.

"You come to a shop inside a mystery dungeon. The shopkeeper looks meek and frail, but they have a Revive All Orb for sale...for all the Poke you have The only other Pokemon around are you and the dungeon Pokemon. Do you leave the orb alone, buy it, or try to steal it?"

===================================================================​

Thirty minutes of questions and answers later, the voice fell silent. What was it doing? Did I give bad answers to the questions?

Before I could ask, the voice said, "You appear to be...the hasty type."

Hasty?! What was that about?! I was a patient Pokemon, right?

"Hey, what do you mean?!" I said, as I watched the white spot in the rainbow void grow closer and closer. Come on, I wanted to go to the human world already!

"Case in point," the voice said. "Nonetheless...the starter for a hasty person like you should be…"

A strange, red and white sphere appeared in front of me. "A Porygon!"

That…was a Porygon? It's not like any I've heard of…It looked more like a Voltorb than anything else.

"That's the weirdest looking Porygon I've ever seen," I commented, craning my neck to try to get a better look at the sphere.

"You'll figure it out in due time," the voice said. "Now, I have one final question for you, Coleane. Would you like to remain a Pokemon, or become a human?"

Become…a human? That…that sounded so cool! The rumors said they have extremely dextrous forelimbs, can regenerate lost internal organs in mere days, can walk for hours without tiring, and some even had limbs of steel!

But…humans didn't have wings. I wouldn't be able to fly anymore, or feel the sunlight against my wings, or glide through the air. I'd be stuck on the ground, never to take flight again.

I wanted to keep my wings, even if it meant not becoming a human.

"I'll stay a Tropius!" I answered, fanning out my wings.

"Excellent choice, Pokemon," the voice said. "Now! Go into the human world, collect the eight badges of Hoenn, and defeat the Champion! Become the greatest trainer there ever was!"

The colors of the void between worlds began to fade, until all I saw was white.

===================================================================

Aether Paradise

Blip…blip…blip…

I watched the Ultra Radar in boredom. I've been sitting here for hours, and nothing at all had popped up today.

Why did I have to do this again? We're the Aether Foundation, surely we have a more efficient way of doing this.

Oh, sure, send someone to stare at the Ultra Radar all day because you "have a feeling". That's totally a great idea, and won't cause extreme boredom to the poor sap forced to stare at a spinning line for a horrifically long amount of time out of his mind. Excellent work Lusamine, you get the boss of the year award.

I should file a complaint—

BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP!

I hastily refocused on the radar, and smiled. Finally, something out of this mentally taxing day. Looks like…something was happening in Hoenn.

I pulled out my phone, and called Lusamine.

"What is it, I'm busy with—"

"Ms. President, it can wait. We've got something happening. Ultra activity in Hoenn," I said into the phone. I couldn't care less what my boss was busy with, I wanted to stop staring at this radar.

"Excellent! I'll send a squad there to see what's happening. You're free to resume normal work," Lusamine said, before I heard the beep of her hanging up.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was pretty sure I'd be hearing those blips in my nightmares.

Hopefully I'd get picked for the squad. Would be nice to see Hoenn.

Wonder what the Ultra activity was about, anyways.
 
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NebulaDreams

Ace Trainer
Partners
  1. luxray
  2. hypno
So this was a brief but enjoyable first chapter. I’m excited to see what Coleane will do once she gets to the human world and how she goes about becoming a trainer.

While I’m not quite sure how the Gilded channel connects to the story just yet, this is clearly meant to be a hook for later chapters and something that will come back later. This was the most enjoyable part for me as the interactions felt authentic with all the different manners of typing and there’s a lot of worldbuilding there that gives perspective on the story’s human world without dragging down the story.

My only gripe is the conflict Coleane faces. It does give a good reason for why Coleane wants to leave because her mom comes across as being a complete $^&^% for grounding her for a week. Maybe this Aurorus is good friends with Burhalla’s dad.

However, I don’t quite buy why these Pokemon aren’t allowed names, or why it’s such a taboo to give names to others, and I’m not sure what point Coleane’s mom is trying to make about them never being human. Because of the lack of worldbuilding in the PMD portion of the story, I don’t get a sense that there’s much distinguishing them from humans aside from less advanced technology. I’m not sure if you’re planning on exploring that later since from this point onward, it seems like the story will solely take place in the human world, so maybe that’s worth expanding upon later.

But otherwise, it’s a decent start, and I look forward to seeing how this premise develops.
 

Cresselia92

Gym Leader
Pronouns
She/Her/Hers
Partners
  1. ho-oh
  2. custom/sneasel-nyula
  3. custom/rayquaza-cress
Howdy, Bench! :D

Well, isn't this quite the good timing? I've been consuming content about Pokémon who wish to be Pokémon Trainers recently, and it looks like this is going to fit the bill, too! And having a Tropius as a protagonist? Heck yeah! I love that species! Really underrated!

As per usual, I'm gonna comment on the various parts and finish the review with some general commentary.

With this said, onward we go!

Chapter 1: Last Day

Post Town, Mist Continent

"Now, Coleane, what did we say about giving out names freely?" my Aurorus mama said to me, looking at me sternly.

"We don't do that," I said, before craning my neck up at my mother. "But Treami does! And Ansala! And—"

"And we don't. That's not the way we do things in our family," mama scolded. "Outside of this house, I am Aurorus, and you are Tropius. Anything more isn't appropriate."

I really wonder why Aurorus thinks that. Perhaps she had a bad experience with being too confident and giving out her personal name backfired? Or perhaps she is a conservative dinosaur? 🤔

"But mama! All the humans go by their names!" I protested, fanning out my wings. "I wanna be like them!"

Mama sighed, and her sails drooped. "Coleane. We are not, and never will be human. I've told you this far too many times already."

Wait... Does that mean that Treami and Ansala are humans? Otherwise, why would Coleane mention that?

hmm-suspect.gif


"You're grounded for a week, Tropius. No bananas, and I won't be using your name even in the house. Understand?" mama said, fanning her sails out.

Gee, isn't that kinda harsh?

"Yes, mama," I said, before turning around and trotting away into my room. The paintings on the walls felt scorning as I trotted past them, the artists' names emblazoned on the bottoms of each one. They were publicly known by their names, and all mama wanted me to be known as publicly was Tropius.

Why couldn't I be like the humans? Why couldn't I go by my special name? Many of my friends went by theirs, why couldn't I go by mine?

Why did mama have to be so stubborn? It's not fair! And now she won't even let me have any bananas for a week! Or call me by my special name!

I wished I could just leave. I wanted to be a hero, like Gen and Vernir, and maybe even join the World-Savers' Council! I wanted to live like the humans!

But I was stuck here, living a life without a special name.

Man, can you imagine being stuck at home and only being called Human for a week? That'd be quite uncomfortable.

Humans all had special names that they went by, didn't they? According to the rumors, they had so many cool things! Everyone going by their special names like it was the most normal thing in the world, and everyone being accepting of it.

Just wait until you see Japan! They hardly ever use their first names to anyone who isn't a close relative or friend. :p

Gigantic vessels that could travel the seas and skies, like how trains were for land. Ways of reaching up into the night sky, and seeing the stars up close. Worldwide telepathy. They even flew to the moon!

I wished I could go to the human world. No more being a courier, I could have a human job instead! Like being a hero!

Yeppers. That'd be nice.

Be careful what you wish for. At times the bargain isn't worth it.
Gilded Gaggle of Goofs

#general

Delino: Boutta have my last battle as a trainer. Wish me luck.

Ta Writeer: still dont think you need to do this

MonDegreen: Yeah! You were killing it out there!

Delino: Then I had that fifteen battle losing streak.

Delino: I can't afford to keep doing this.

Sad Snom: Good luck, Delino. Wishing you well.

Tapestry: Best of luck out there!

MonDegreen: I'm an hour late, but good luck!

Delino: Thanks for the luck, but it was for naught.

Delino: Got completely curbstomped by the guy's Delphox.

Ta Writeer: awww

Delino: Looking for new homes for my team.

Delino: Gonna keep Sticks, but my other Pokemon are up for grabs.

Ta Writeer: why cant you just keep them all

Delino: Told you before. Can't afford to care for them without enough earnings from battles.

Ta Writeer: and familys not an option

Delino: Ye. Mom would probably trade them away for something more competitive.

Delino: How'd you like to have Vivillion, Degreen?

Oh, that's cool! It really reads like a group chat!

MonDegreen: :O

MonDegreen: I'd love to, but we don't have a trade system here in Orre

MonDegreen: Plus she might get stolen

MonDegreen: Besides, it wouldn't be the same

MonDegreen: I wish I could meet a real wild Pokemon, one without a trainer. A wild Pokemon, like the other regions have

Actually... Orre has a trade system and wild Pokémon can be found in Poké Spots.

Granted, depending from when this story is set, it could be before the XD era, which is when the first wild Pokémon returned to the region, and the trade system could simply be inactive (which is an actual event in Colosseum, with you being unable to trade with Hoenn until the post-game).

It doesn't impact the story, but I wanted to point out this detail.

Delino: Aight. How about you, Snom?

Sad Snom: I would appreciate that. I will take care of her as best I can.

Delino: Aight. I'll send her your way soon.

Sad Snom: She will live a good life here with the Pearl Clan.

Pearl Clan? Is Delino sending her Snom back in time? Though, well, the Time Capsule and the time-space trades are supposedly a thing in SV, so...

Still, I would have to wonder how Snom can message through time. Unless... she has the Arceusphone which gives her that perk. :hyperthinking:

Delino: Thanks for supporting me on this journey, fellas. Been a fun ride. Sad it has to end, but I gotta pay the bills, and this isn't working.

Tapestry: You were a good trainer, Delino. Took great care of your Pokemon, and helped them however you could from what I saw. That's far more than I could say for the trainers I had to rescue Pokemon from.

Delino: Thanks, Tapestry.

Delino left the chat.
My eyes slowly opened, before I shot wide awake at what I was seeing.

Colors. So, so many colors. Every color I could possibly imagine, and even many I couldn't even dream of. And in the distance, there was a speck of white, looking almost like some sort of portal.

I looked down, and saw that I was standing on nothing! I was floating!

What was going on?

"Welcome to the world of humans!"

oh-my-god-deja-vu.gif


"Huh?!" I yelped, frantically looking around. Who said that—?!

Wait.

The world of humans?

Was…was my wish coming true? Was I really going to go to the human world?

Congratulations! You just won the lottery of destiny! I'll bring the confetti! 🥳

I flapped my wings in joy, and shouted at the top of my lungs, "THANK YOU!"

"Hah, I see you're excited. Very well then! Now. Before I send you off, I need to get to know you a bit better through some questions. Answer every one honestly," the voice said, before asking the first question.

"You come to a shop inside a mystery dungeon. The shopkeeper looks meek and frail, but they have a Revive All Orb for sale...for all the Poke you have The only other Pokemon around are you and the dungeon Pokemon. Do you leave the orb alone, buy it, or try to steal it?"

If that shopkeeper is a Kecleon, then I'd be seriously doubting they are "meek and frail"... :copyka:

Also, missing dot in the "for all the Poke you have" part.

Thirty minutes of questions and answers later,

Man, that's more than a job interview! XP

Before I could ask, the voice said, "You appear to be...the hasty type."

Hasty?! What was that about?! I was a patient Pokemon, right?

"Hey, what do you mean?!" I said, as I watched the white spot in the rainbow void grow closer and closer. Come on, I wanted to go to the human world already!

"Case in point," the voice said.

Sassy narrator is best narrator.

"Nonetheless...the starter for a hasty person like you should be…"

A strange, red and white sphere appeared in front of me. "A Porygon!"

That…was a Porygon? It's not like any I've heard of…It looked more like a Voltorb than anything else.

"That's the weirdest looking Porygon I've ever seen," I commented, craning my neck to try to get a better look at the sphere.

"You'll figure it out in due time," the voice said.

The voice doesn't even bother rectifying the misunderstanding? Now, who's the hasty one around here? :p

"Now, I have one final question for you, Coleane. Would you like to remain a Pokemon, or become a human?"

Become…a human? That…that sounded so cool! The rumors said they have extremely dextrous forelimbs, can regenerate lost internal organs in mere days, can walk for hours without tiring, and some even had limbs of steel!

*cough cough* Yeah, right, we are like lizards and can regenerate our organs like nothing. Right. *cough cough*

Gotta be amusing to see what kind of legends PMD Pokémon have about humans. I dig them!

But…humans didn't have wings. I wouldn't be able to fly anymore, or feel the sunlight against my wings, or glide through the air. I'd be stuck on the ground, never to take flight again.

I wanted to keep my wings, even if it meant not becoming a human.

"I'll stay a Tropius!" I answered, fanning out my wings.

Inb4, she won't be able to fly until she gets the HM02 -- aka, Fly.

"Excellent choice, Pokemon," the voice said. "Now! Go into the human world, collect the eight badges of Hoenn, and defeat the Champion! Become the greatest trainer there ever was!"

The colors of the void between worlds began to fade, until all I saw was white.

That's it unless she is caught by some human before that. Would she self-catch so that she will be protected?
Aether Paradise

Blip…blip…blip…

I watched the Ultra Radar in boredom. I've been sitting here for hours, and nothing at all had popped up today.

Why did I have to do this again? We're the Aether Foundation, surely we have a more efficient way of doing this.

Oh, sure, send someone to stare at the Ultra Radar all day because you "have a feeling". That's totally a great idea, and won't cause extreme boredom to the poor sap forced to stare at a spinning line for a horrifically long amount of time out of his mind. Excellent work Lusamine, you get the boss of the year award.

For a moment, I thought it was Lusamine who was staring at the radar and complaining about giving herself the job because she "had a feeling". XD

I hastily refocused on the radar, and smiled.
I pulled out my phone, and called Lusamine.

Okay, you had the same mistake in these two sentences: the comma. By doing so, you are basically separating the subject ('I') from the verb ('smiled, 'called'), and that's a small grammar mistake. You can either remove the comma or replace the two 'and' with 'then'.
I hastily refocused on the radar, then smiled.
I pulled out my phone, then called Lusamine.

'Then' is a conjunction, which ties the two halves of the sentence together, even when they have a short time lapse between each other.

"What is it, I'm busy with—"

"Ms. President, it can wait. We've got something happening. Ultra activity in Hoenn," I said into the phone. I couldn't care less what my boss was busy with, I wanted to stop staring at this radar.

"Excellent! I'll send a squad there to see what's happening. You're free to resume normal work," Lusamine said, before I heard the beep of her hanging up.

I wonder what Lusamine is busy with...

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was pretty sure I'd be hearing those blips in my nightmares.

Foreshadowing? Or you simply listened to those blips for that long?

Hopefully I'd get picked for the squad. Would be nice to see Hoenn.

Wonder what the Ultra activity was about, anyways.

Sequel hook!!

---

Alright! Time for the meat of the review!

So, I liked it! It was a short and sweet prologue, which showed immediately the conflict between Coleane and her mother. And from what I gathered, she wishes to be among humans because she admires them as heroes and because of the many advantages they have. So, I can assume that this story will be about confirming or breaking expectations.

Also, funny reversal with the whole "Welcome to the world of [insert species]!" Of course the voice had to choose the one Tropius who wished to meet humans, huh? :p

Oh! And she is a Tropius... which is an amusing fact by itself, since I've read a story that features a PMD Tropius who turns out to be a... certain human character in the human world. Can't say who because it's a spoiler by itself, but if I'll remember the name of the story I'll let you know.

Don't know what to make out of the group chat, but I kinda feel like Delino will have an important role. Out of the humans introduced, that fella(?) is the one who got the biggest spotlight. Really interested to see how that subplot will be handled, too. :eyes:

And lastly, Aether will be involved, huh. Curious to see what kinds of shenanigans they will pull off in Hoenn, of all places. But hey, at least the agents are used to the tropical atmosphere, so they'll feel right at home.

That's all for now. This has been a fun read and I can't wait to see how things will develop from now onward. :quag:

Good work, and best of luck! Until next time~
 

K_S

Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
Hi, so I did a line-by-line reaction... hope you like...

Ah, the dreaded internet safety convo… though seriously it’s not as common as you’d think…. And the follow-up of “and if –insert group of friends- jumped off a cliff follow up… or rather the insinuation of such… ah so the cast are mon? interesting… I could see a number of ‘mon running fake human others online.

While Mama’s got a point kiddos got one too. Want to be like is not the same as being. Sounds like a mild case of cultural bucking. That never goes well and really tests the bonds of families.

I’m guessing we’re going to get some build-up about the world savers thing later… still I’m getting hero worship vibes here. Perhaps a special explorer team… though with the modern setting I wonder how that could work?

World wide telepath? Methinks someone’s a bit starry-eyed and not seeing everything quite right though it could be an aspect of the setting I’m unaware. I’m kinda wondering… usually when you get stifled the knee-jerk reaction it to buck and bolt to explore the new/forbidden culture as much as possible, possibly culminating in a runaway attempt. Worried kiddos going to go that far but hopefully not.

Laughs, “hero” as a job description… yeah that’d make taxes exciting later down the line…

Huh, I can see a losing streak being enough to make someone trainer-wise step down… it’s a fair point and you have to wonder about the wild economics of starter trainers and their families… no wonder skull got so desperate in their home game…

Ah, we got a setting point, Orre. Perhaps by mail… that’d be exciting.

Hmm, I wonder how this is going to mesh, a down-on-luck trainer, a mon that wishers to explore the human world… and an inverse of the standard “rescuers” plot “welcome to the world of humans indeed”. Wonder if it’s our delivery person getting a wish come true, roundabout.

Guess I was right. Laughs… perhaps the denial type would be more apropos considering how “patient” our main protag seems…

Huh, a ‘mon training mon this is going to be interesting morally speaking, bare min.

Be happy random grunt/science person, that Lum’ lets you file complaints as so many “bosses” have an alley behind base by the dumper to deal with downers, naysayers, or bad messengers…

Ultra activity, as in Ultra wormhole? Is this set pre ultra Moon/Sun or post? Because I can see the police/army/rangers getting siced if it’s post considering who has control over it… Although from the reaction I’m leaning pre-game events.

Well, this is definitely an interesting opening to something that looks like it’s going to be spanning some interesting setting points if not plot points.



Thanks for sharing.
 
Chapter 2: First Wingbeats

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. custom/chikorita-saltriv
  2. custom/bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
Chapter 2: First Wingbeats

Route 120

"Huh? Absol? What's wrong?"

Absol? They weren't native to the Mist Continent...

"There's something in our secret base!"

Secret base? What was that about?

"In there? Let's go check it out!"

My eyes slowly opened, as I began to hear footsteps on wood, though they didn't sound like any footsteps I've ever heard. They sounded a bit like hooves, but…different. I also heard another set of footsteps, belonging to a quadrupedal Pokemon.

Where was I? This didn't look like home…

"Oh, wow! A Tropius in my base! How'd you get in here?!"

I craned my neck, to look at the source of the voices—

What.

They looked just like the depictions of them made by the heroes…long fur only on the top of the head, and short fur above the eyes, five-digited hands, long legs, and wearing garments all over their body…

Was…was that…

"Are you a human?!" I asked, fanning my wings out in excitement. "A real human?!"

The human gasped, and stumbled backwards. I flinched briefly. Did I do something wrong?

"Y-you can…you can talk?!" the human said, holding tightly onto an Absol that was nearby.

"Of course I can! Why wouldn't I be able to?" I asked, tilting my head. "And are you a human?"

"I, um…that's, uh, right. I'm a human," the human(!) said. "Are…you real? I'm not dreaming? You're not a legendary or mythical in disguise?"

They were a real human! The dream was real! I really was in the human world!

"Yeppers, I'm real!" I said, grinning. What was with this human? It's like they'd never met a Pokemon before! But they had Absol right there with them, so what was so strange about me?

"Ok, ok…deep breaths, deep breaths," the human said, breathing heavily. "Ok… uh… it's just… I… I've never met a Pokemon who could talk."

I stomped my right hindleg in surprise. What?! That didn't make any sense! Only dungeon Pokemon couldn't talk!

"You haven't?" I asked, frowning. "Why not? You have Absol with you!"

"We do not speak the human tongue," Absol said, trotting close to me. "How can you?"

"But you're talking right now!" I said with a flap of my wings. I heard something fall over, but I was too curious about this to wonder what.

"I…I don't understand…" the human says, shaking their head. "Ok…so a talking Tropius appears in my secret base, and doesn't understand that Pokemon don't talk like humans…"

But both Absol and the human were speaking the same!

The human put a hand to their head, groaning. Oh no, were they in pain?

"Are you ok?" I asked, extending a vine to lay on the human's head. They flinched, and pushed it away.

"I don't know, nothing makes sense," the human said, holding onto Absol again. I hadn't upset the human by coming here… had I?

"Oh…sorry," I said, my wings drooping a bit.

"It's…fine. I'm just…shocked," the human said. "I just need a minute."

"Ok!" I said, deciding to look around the area as I waited.

All across the room, there were circular mats of various colors on the floor, like yellow and blue. A lot of them had tables on them, too, with various objects on them, like potted flowers and tiny paintings. In a corner, I saw a big orange tent, and some sort of weird thing next to it. It was like a cane, but with a wide blue top. And in another corner, there was a square mat, with a flag in the middle. I wondered what that was for? Was it like a flag for a team? But it was just a single flat color…

On one of the tables, I saw the tiniest Tropius ever, knocked onto their side. Oh no, did I hurt them with my flapping earlier? I reached out to them with a vine, righted them, and asked, "Are you ok?"

Wait…the tiny Tropius felt weird to the touch…they were soft and fluffy, instead of smooth and scaly like me…and they weren't speaking…

"Uh…have you never seen a plushie before?" the human asked.

Oh. That explained it.

"Oh, it's a plushie? I have, but I didn't know they existed for my species!" I said, retracting my vine. Plus, mama never let me have any plushies. I wanted a human one!

I looked out the exit to the room, seeing rain and forest, and asked, "Where are we?"

"Uh…this is my secret base on Route 120," the human said.

"Route…120? That's a weird name," I said, tilting my head. "Why's it called that?"

"Because…it's the twentieth route in the region?" the human said, putting a hand on Absol. "Gosh, how do I explain how route numbering works to a Tropius?"

Route numbering? I guess I could ask about that later. For now, I had more important things to ask about!

"Where's the nearest human town?" I asked.

"Uh, it's…just northwest of here. Follow the route, and you'll make it to Fortree," the human said, running their hand along Absol's fur. What was she doing? It looked…nice.

But that didn't matter! I flapped my wings in excitement, as I thought about what Fortree might be like. It had to be really really cool, it was a human town! It had to be really big, and awesome, and exciting, and have lots and lots of cool human technology!

"Thank you!" I shouted.

"Hey!" the human yelled, putting the Tropius plushie back up. Oh, whoops, I must have knocked it over again with my flapping.

Once the human finished with the plushie, they seemed to spot something on the floor, before picking it up. It was a red and white sphere…oh!

"Is this your Pokeball? Are you separated from your trainer?" the human asked, looking up at me as they picked up the weird Porygon.

"That might be mine? I don't know. And what's a 'trainer'?" I asked, tilting my head. The voice had mentioned it, but what did it entail? Was it important? Was it something humans did?

"You…don't know what a trainer is," the human said, before starting to laugh. The human was smiling but their laughter didn't sound funny to me though, more… nervous.

"Ok…uh…"

"A trainer is a human who helps Pokemon become stronger," Absol spoke up. "They travel together, and help their team to become the best they can be."

"Wow…that sounds like such an awesome job!" I said. It really was true, all humans were heroes! Helping other Pokemon like that sounded awesome! I could travel all across the human world while helping Pokemon along the way! I wished I could be a trainer…

…could I? The voice did tell me to become one…could Pokemon be trainers, too?

It couldn't hurt to ask, right?

"Wait, then… can I be a trainer?" I asked, fluttering my wings in anticipation.

"You want to…WHAT?!" The human yelped, latching onto Absol, who stared at me with wide eyes. "That's…I can't even begin to imagine that."

Oh… I guess I should've known better. I just thought that when the voice told me to be a trainer that it'd be easy. But with the way this human was making things sound…

"Can I…not be one?" I asked, my wings drooping. I guess it really was a job just for humans. Maybe I should have sacrificed my wings.

The human scratched the back of their head, looking away.

"No, uh…maybe? I…I don't know, this is so weird…" the human said, clutching at their head. "I…why don't you go to Fortree and ask the people there? I'm not equipped to deal with this."

That was just northwest of here, right? I can totally do that!

"Oh…ok! It was nice meeting you, human!" I said, trotting out of the secret base, but not before picking up the weird Porygon with a vine.

"See you," the human said as I stepped onto soft dirt, then…began screaming? It sounded muffled though, as if masked by fur. I twisted my neck around, and saw them with their face in a pillow, before the screaming stopped, and they pulled away. Absol stared at them, shaking their head. Was that a human thing? I should try it sometime!

I twisted my neck around, and gazed at what the human called "Route 120".

The first thing I noticed was the refreshing patter of rain against my wings, along with the earthy smell of petrichor that reminded me of home. There were a bunch of puddles around, and there was a whole forest of trees around me! I could also hear grass rustling in the breeze, and it was almost like I was in a forest back at home.

But this was better than home! I was in the human world!

"I'm gonna be a trainer!" I said to the weird Porygon. They didn't respond. Were they ok?

I heard pawsteps behind me, and twisted my neck around, seeing the Absol from before approaching me.

"May… I speak with you?" they asked, eyes still wide.

"Sure!" I said, with a flap of my wings.

"You said earlier that you wanted to become a trainer," Absol said. "What… makes you want to do that?"

"Because it's a human job!" I said, smiling. The voice also told me to, but Absol didn't need to know that, and I genuinely wanted to be one on my own, too!

Absol pointed their horn back towards the secret base, sighing.

"I… I don't understand, what about it makes you want to do it? We… we aren't trainers, we don't have the passion for it that humans do. We're battlers, not instructors," Absol said.

Battlers, not instructors? But there's plenty of Pokemon who instruct back home! Teachers, dojo masters, move linkers, and more! What was Absol talking about?

"What do you mean? And I just said, because it's a human job," I said, tilting my head. "Isn't that reason enough?"

Absol shook their head.

"Let me rephrase the question: What about it being a human job makes you want to do it so badly?" Absol said, tilting their head.

"Because humans are really really cool, and I wanna be like them!" I said, with a flap of my wings.

Absol simply blinked, staring at me.

"...I don't think I will understand," Absol said, beginning to turn away. "You confuse me."

What do I say to that?

"Oh…" I said, my wings drooping.

"And just so you know, if…you're really serious about being a trainer. You press the button on a pokeball to open it," Absol said, before reentering the secret base.

Pokeball? The human did describe the weird Porygon as a pokeball… maybe I should press the button?

I tapped the front of the weird Porygon with a vine. There was a flash of light, and suddenly a Porygon was in front of me! One that looked like how I remembered Porygons to look like!

They seemed annoyed, though…

"What is it? I was surfing the Internet," they said.

My mind was filled with so many questions at once. What was the "Internet"? Why did this Pokemon want to "surf" it? How'd they fit in that pokeball? Could I fit in one? What was it like inside? Was it nice inside?

Before I could ask any of them, though, they looked around, letting out a startled beep, before looking up at me. "This is not the shelter. You are not my caretaker. What."

Now I had even more questions! "Shelter"? "Caretaker"? What was Porygon talking about?

"What do you mean?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Where is: username: Tapestry?" Porygon asked. Who was "Username Tapestry"? That was a weird name.

"Who's that? Are they a pokemon or a human?" I asked.

"Username: Tapestry, is species: human," Porygon said. "Where is: username: Tapestry?"

Another human! Well, probably another, unless the "shelter" was that secret base. But then wouldn't that human not let me take Porygon out of there?

"I've…only met one human in this world so far," I said, my wings drooping. "I don't think I've met Username Tapestry."

"Username: Tapestry? Username: Tapestry, where are you?" Porygon called out, but there was no response. It didn't look like Username Tapestry was around.

After a few seconds, Porygon looked at me. "Species: Tropius, where are we?"

"The human I met said this is Route 120! I still think that's a weird name, though," I said, looking around at the puddles around us. Something like "Puddle Woodland" sounded like it'd be more fitting!

"Route: 120? This is not region: Ferrum," Porygon said. "Do you have a trainer?"

"No, I am a trainer!" I said, fanning my wings out in pride. "Or I'm going to be, at least!"

Porygon twitched. "This does not compute. Pokemon are not trainers."

My wings drooped. Them, too? Why did every Pokemon here think I couldn't be a trainer?

"Well, I'm going to be one!" I protested.

"How?" Porygon asked, their tail lowered.

That…was a good question. I had no idea how, but I'd figure it out, one wingbeat at a time!

"I'm gonna go to Fortree and talk to the humans there!" I said.

"Species: Tropius, you are delusional," Porygon said.

My wings tensed up, and I felt my bananas burning hot.

"I'm not!" I protested. "I'm gonna be like the humans!"

Porygon sighed. "There is something wrong with you."

I ignored their words, ushering them along with a wing, and traipsed along the route, eager to see more of the world of humans.

===================================================================​

Soon, we came to a small canyon. Over the rain, I could distantly hear the trickling of water into the lake below. A sturdy-looking wooden bridge crossed over the canyon, and I squeed in delight! Human architecture! Even if it was just a bridge, it was cool! It was made of wood, unlike most bridges back home!

I couldn't wait to see what Fortree was like! I bet it has buildings that reach the sky, and trains in every house!

And as I trotted down the bridge, I saw…another human! Oh, this was so cool!

I ran towards them, raising a wing in greeting! "Hi! It's so cool to meet another human!"

The human yelped, clutching onto the bridge's guardrail. "How are you talking?!"

"I've always been able to!" I answered. "I'm here to be a trainer!"

The human stared at me for a few moments, before adjusting their hat.

"A trainer, huh…well, Pokemon or not, a trainer's a trainer, so let's battle!" the human said.

"Battle?" I asked, tilting my head. "What's that—"

"Go, Swellow!" the human said, throwing one of those weird spheres, like the one Porygon was inside. In a flash of light, a Swellow appeared!

"Erm…go, Porygon!" I shouted, throwing their weird sphere. Nothing happened. Porygon, the human, and Swellow stared at me.

"... I am already out of my pokeball. What were you trying to accomplish?" Porygon asked.

"I thought I was supposed to throw it, since the human did it!" I said, my wings drooping a bit.

"That is—"

"Now! While they're distracted!" the human said, and an Air Slash knocked into Porygon.

My eyes widened, and I said, "Porygon! Are you ok?!"

"Easy target," Swellow said.

Porygon righted themself, and briefly glanced back at me.

"I am alright, however, you must help me fight! That is what trainers do, if you truly intend on being one!" Porygon shouted.

"Ok, ok…look out!" I shouted, and Porygon narrowly evaded another Air Slash. I saw the trainer do some sort of weird gesture with his hand, sticking the thumb into the air.

"Now what?" Porygon asked me.

"Tackle!" I shouted the first move name that came to mind.

Porygon rushed Swellow in a white glow, and the bird faltered a bit on impact!

"Try harder," the flying-type said with a flap of their wings.

"I have stronger moves!" Porygon said, legs rotating.

"Erm…use one of the—guard!" I shouted, as Swellow flew towards Porygon with an Aerial Ace. There was no dodging that, I knew, but I could at least warn Porygon to brace themselves.

It hit hard, but Porygon was still floating! What moves did Porygons have…? Oh!

"Thunder Shock!" I called.

Electricity crackled across Porygon's body, then shot at Swellow. It hit! Woohoo! Though Swellow looked barely fazed, not even flinching… that wasn't good.

"Better," Porygon said, "but not enough."

"One more good hit should do it! You know what to do!" the human called, and before I could react, Swellow swooped at Porygon with another Aerial Ace, knocking them to the ground with a crash! Their legs rotated, before slowing down.

"I am done," Porygon said, before toppling onto his side. I hoped they were ok.

"That…was less exciting than I thought it'd be," the human said, frowning. Swellow nodded.

What were they talking about? It wasn't over! Even if Porygon had fainted, I was still well enough to battle!

I flew up into the air, and dove towards Swellow, completing my Fly. They were too shocked to dodge, and the attack connected! Swellow tumbled backward and caught itself with a flap of its wings.

"Woah, now this is what I'm talking 'bout!" the human hollered, raising a fist into the air. "Okay Swellow, don't let up, you're super effective against her, so keep the assault going! Use Focus Energy!"

"Neat trick," Swellow said, before closing their eyes, an orange glow flaring around them.

I had to brace myself, their next attack would hurt if I didn't do anything! Instinctually, I summoned my energy and a Protect barrier surrounded me. I saw the translucent shield for a brief moment, just before it shattered as Swellow crashed through it and struck me in the chest, though at slow speeds thanks to the Protect. I stumbled back, dazed, but mostly unharmed.

"Keep going!" the human said.

I winced again as Swellow flew around, striking me on my back. Gathering myself, I retaliated, wrapping a vine around one of Swellow's legs and pulling them to the ground. Rearing up, I brought my hooves down hard, Stomping on them. They shrieked and scrambled out of my grip, but managed to escape and fly back up, panting as they hovered above me.

"One last brave strike, for glory!" the human said. Swellow swooped around, then cloaked their body in light as they dove straight for me. That was Brave Bird! Panickedly, I wrapped my wings around myself to defend myself.

The next thing I knew, I was lying on my side on the bridge. I faintly heard the human cheering, then the sound of something being sprayed?

"Hey, do you need a heal too?" the human asked, footsteps approaching.

"Yep…" I managed to answer. I heard the spraying sound again, and a cool mist across my body. It felt…comforting, rejuvenating. Kinda like eating an oran or sitrus berry.

"What's that?" I asked, craning my neck to look at the human, who was holding some sort of odd bottle.

"A potion, it heals Pokemon in a flash!" the human said, continuing to spray the "potion" on me. As the liquid was sprayed onto me, I felt my energy returning, like I'd just eaten an oran berry!

"Wow…that's super cool!" I said, standing back up, and flapping my wings. "Is that a human thing?"

"Er…I guess you could call it that? It is made by humans, after all," the human said, looking at the potion.

"Wow…hey, do you know how far Fortree is from here?" I asked.

"It's just down this bridge, and then after a left turn," the human said.

Oh, wow, I was really close!

"Thanks!" I said, picking up the unconscious Porygon in my vines, as well as their "pokeball", and heading down the bridge.

Human civilization, here I come!

===================================================================

Gilded Gaggle of Goofs

#general

MonDegreen: !

MonDegreen: Mimikyus in Orre episode 3 is out!

Zuidman: oh, really?

Delino: Oh! Need to check it out ASAP

chadchaddington: Heck yeah! I love my new jeans

SilverTalon: How will the mimikyus terrorize their orre victims this time :copyka:

Ta Writeer: watchparty?

Sad Snom: That sounds good.

MonDegreen: Aaaaa!! I still love this opening so much!!!

Delino: Ye, it's great

Ta Writeer: i wish i could draw like that

chadchaddington: if I were sandy Id simply fight the trainer. not the pokemon, the trainer himself

chadchaddington: HOLY HECK SHE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT

Zuidman: oheck

SilverTalon: my question has been answered :copyka:

MonDegreen: Look at her go!

Sad Snom: Has anyone heard from Tapestry? I have not seen him in hours, and he is usually free at this time.

Ta Writeer: @Tapestry?

Tapestry: Sorry, there's been a situation at the shelter.

Ta Writeer: what happened?

Tapestry: A Porygon I've been taking care of disappeared.

Zuidman: ocrap

Zuidman: any idea what happened?

Delino: Crap, did they get stolen?

Tapestry: I don't think they were stolen.

Tapestry: It was really odd. One second they were with me, then they started glowing, then they disappeared.

Delino: Huh

Sad Snom: That is certainly strange.

MonDegreen: They just disappeared?

Tapestry: Yeah. Just disappeared all of a sudden.

Ta Writeer: thats really weird

Zuidman: hope you find em soon

Tapestry: Thanks.



Zuidman belongs to Sudmensch, SilverTalon belongs to SilverPhoenix, and chadchaddington belongs to my girlfriend, Nikki. Thank you three so much for letting me use your characters for this fic!
 
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K_S

Unrepentent Giovanni and Rocket fan
I totally spaced on this review and I'm tackling it and hopefully tackling review tag in the same stab... let's see how it goes.

Welp the secret base sets up the setting for the genre savy. And also forecasts that our protag is very much a fish out of water.... And so we get a meeting of the worlds... or rather a trainer Trop' and a human trainer... I suspect there's going to be some fanboying going on here in the very near future... As the poor trainer is blue screen of deathing over the "talking Meowth" situation.. except it's more of a plant-dragon hybrid...

Which it makes it so much more exciting for the trainer really...

I suspect :looking" is going to turn into touch, poke, oops did I break it?" cycle let's see... oh wait the crash from ealier well we're blazing right thorugh those expectations at record speed.. thank goodness our chatty Trop' didn't spawn in a crowded city square.

I'm so glad that Trop hasn't encountered any ah shady types... Rocket in particular would be infinitly less gentle in helping our protag wrangle the cultrual clashes...

Snorts.. craby pory was jsut "surfing" huh? I imagine this is goin to be a common occurence for this one... I suspect Tapestry is probably a computer nerd who nerded out with their friend and is also wondering where thier team mate is about now (or whenever debugging the system is scheduled)... I was hoping a little more back and forh between the two but ah well it'll make an interesting partnership mr cynical pixal bird and tropic drago...

Ya know if Tapestry doesn't shake down the whole of cyberspace hunting for thier pory that is...
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. custom/pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. custom/lucario-shiny
  5. custom/incineroar-starr
Hey there, finally here to review this! I love how a silly Exquisite Corpse entry ended up inspiring you to make a whole chapter fic out of the premise of a Tropius trainer. And the fic doesn't waste any time launching us right into it! I think it was a good call to have Coleane get sent to the human world right in chapter 1, but I agree with Torchic that I think it'd be neat to see a little bit more of how humans are regarded in her world. Coleane tells us that humans are heroes, of course, and I know a little bit about the World-Savers' Council from ES. But I think it'd be neat to show the reader some of that stuff firsthand, like maybe having Coleane distract herself from her frustrations by sinking into a book/magazine about her favorite rescue mission, one where a human hero's ingenuity and bravery really shined. One that she's read so many times before but always loves coming back to--something like that.

I also didn't quite have a good grasp on where the opening scene took place--I assumed it was in public since Coleane gave out her name, but then she heads to her room, so I assume her mama waited to scold her until they got home. Could be neat to set the scene a little and get an idea of what a Tropius home looks like! Not to mention how it's familiar to her but could start to feel like a cage when she's grounded.

I found it interesting how she was actually given the choice to become human, but chose not to because she wants to keep her wings. It's a nice detail.

I noticed that chapter 2 has been updated for Paldea, but chapter 1 still references Hoenn!

I think it's neat that you enjoyed SV enough to want to set the fic in Paldea instead! It also gives you a lot of opportunities to use things from the region that you'll have had first-hand experience with, rather than having to do research. The first big change that jumps out at me is the way that the League is tied to the academy, and challengers seek to attain Champion rank. There's also a lot you can do with the trainer culture's emphasis on finding your own treasure, and how that can tie into Coleane figuring out what it means to be a hero, for herself. It's something that's a little different for each person, and I think the open-endedness of it has a lot of potential.

And speaking on the conversion to Paldea, oh my god this is making me wish there were secret bases in SV, can you imagine? It'd be so perfect with the open world and the union circle and--

Absolutely wild that Porygon got taken from their trainer by the Voice of Life. Just yoinked out of thin air, just like that. Loved Porygon's deadpan "what" upon seeing where they'd ended up. Not to mention the fact that Coleane threw their ball when they were already out. The other trainer threw a ball, that's what you're supposed to do, r-right? There's a lot of fun to be had from Coleane attempting to mimic trainery things without knowing why.

I think you did a good job with making the internet chatter feel distinct and realistic. And we've got our obvious hook for the plot--Porygon belonged to Tapestry! I guess if Coleane makes it onto the news, and footage of Porygon ends up on the internet, they could put two and two together... Should be interesting to see how Coleane crosses paths with the others!

Hope this was helpful, and good luck with chapter 3!
 

lichhen

gay
Pronouns
he/they/ze
ola, i just read chapter one

i was immediately hooked by the significance of a name to the main character. I recently read "A Year Without A Name" by Cyrus Dunham, and as the title implies, it's a lot about what it means to have (or not have) a name. Which makes me think a lot of this little tropius named Coleane, I wonder what her experiences will be like once she's out there.

I really love the interactions between the voice and the thoughts of Coleane during the questions scene. PORYGON STARTER? porygon is SPECIAL. yes porygon starter. And can I just say I am sooo glad she chose to remain a Tropius lol. Hmm, I wonder if she will ever.... lose her flight for some reason?

the way the chapter ends is awesoooome such a great step towards the next part of the story while giving us some answers to help tie up chapter one.

thanks for posting, chapter two's on my reading list
 

lichhen

gay
Pronouns
he/they/ze
Hiiii I am back again after reading Chapter Two. It made me want to go back and
re-read Chapter One! So I am going to do a review of Chapters One and Two as a whole `w`

Okay, wow, revisiting Coleane's home life. Not good. And yet, this darling tropius has remained so pure. I cannot believe she got grounded just for questioning a standard. I really hope Coleane's mother can change. I probably said this before, but I really like the significant theme of names in this story. It is a common PMD motif, but this one feels a bit different. Especially with their specific family's expectation to go by species name as is proper in public. It reminds me a bit of the identity crises that Gems experience in the show Steven Universe, and how their names are supposed to define their role in society. I guess it feels like Coleane's role has been determined by her being a tropius, and her mom enforces that to an extreme.

I love how Coleane says "Yeppers". She's just so cute and special. Reminds me of 13 year old girls I know who collect rocks and pet lizards.

Getting to the chatroom part. Chats in fics are usually difficult to pull off, in my opinion. A lot of the time, I feel disconnected and get lost rather easily. However, I had a different experience as I read this scene. It makes sense, provides some information, and has me asking more questions. Also I thought it was really cool how the user "Tapestry" just says ONE THING. It stands out as an interesting detail.

Who is this person in the last scene of chapter one, wonder if they were in the chat room?

In Chapter Two, we get some really interesting bits of description of human world things from Coleane's point of view. For example, when she describes human footsteps sounding like hooves.

The plushie scene gave some more information/context. The detail that she did not recognize the little tropius to be a plushie stood out. And then Coleane confessed that her mom would not even let her have a plushie. Yikes. Gives the impression that Coleane was terribly sheltered. I do worry for her when she makes deeper discoveries out in the world, but she seems resilient and happy.

The way Coleane regards and describes humans is very idolizing and romanticizing. I really wonder how she might end up deconstructing her preconcieved ideas of humans. The first human she meets is very kind, mostly confused, and thankfully has no ill will towards a talking tropius. I wonder if they'll bump into each other again, or if this was the narrative's way of sending her out into the big new world? I really like the sentence: "It really was true, all humans were heroes!"

also

"Wait, then… can I be a trainer?" I asked, fluttering my wings in anticipation.

"You want to…WHAT?!" The human yelped, latching onto Absol, who stared at me with wide eyes. "That's…I can't even begin to imagine that."


Hahaha this part made me laugh. Also this part!!

"See you," the human said as I stepped onto soft dirt, then…began screaming? It sounded muffled though, as if masked by fur. I twisted my neck around, and saw them with their face in a pillow, before the screaming stopped, and they pulled away. Absol stared at them, shaking their head. Was that a human thing? I should try it sometime!

Wow okay so this conversation with Absol is intriguing. First, that Absol defines a trainer as a "*human* who helps Pokemon become stronger". No one but a human can be a trainer, and Absol discourages Coleane from considering so. It reminds me a bit of Coleane's mother, to be honest. Now, I believe Absol has the best of intentions and only wants to help Coleane. But, I bet that's what Coleane's mother thinks of herself, too; that she is doing what is best for Coleane. Protecting her by preparing her to fit into society's expectations, so she can maybe have an easy, uncomplicated life.

Absol says "we aren't trainers, we don't have the passion for it that humans do." I wonder if this is factual context for the story - like there is some scientific reason that pokemon have this sort of dispassionate behavior? Or, is Absol generalizing and assuming they know the motivations of all pokemon, and is actually incorrect?

Still, Absol is really cute. I love how much they say they just don't understand, but they're trying so hard! They ask Coleane what makes her want to be a trainer, and then "What about it being a human job makes you want to do it so badly?" to which she replies it's because humans are really cool. And Absol simply does not understand. Even so, they end up offering a bit of support in telling her how to open the pokeball. It was a really cute gesture of faith.

This conversation with Absol felt really significant. Coleane struggles to explain to Absol why she actually feels *passion*, the way a human might. At least, she has the passion to pursue pokemon training this far.

Yayyy we get to meet Porygon!!!!!!! I love it alreadyyyyy! Calling their caretaker (?) username: Tapestry is fun. Also funny how they were grumpy and had been surfing the internet.

Well their chemistry is certainly something haha!! Woww, we've got Coleane this densely carefree, passionate girl full of ideas, and Porygon, this little nerd who seems to believe in structure.

"Erm…go, Porygon!" I shouted, throwing their weird sphere. Nothing happened. Porygon, the human, and Swellow stared at me.

"... I am already out of my pokeball. What were you trying to accomplish?" Porygon asked.

"I thought I was supposed to throw it, since the human did it!" I said, my wings drooping a bit.


SCReAM S OUT LOUD LAUGHING

I love this battle scene. Battling can be one of my fave things to read in pokemon fic, but I do think it's pretty difficult to write well. I like how you wrote this battle. Coleane stumbled through it but thinks on her feet and pulls upon the knowledge she has as a pokemon who knows about other pokemon! And then THIS PART:

What were they talking about? It wasn't over! Even if Porygon had fainted, I was still well enough to battle!

That was SO cOOL.

Another group chat scene, and it delivers thoughtful information to keep the plot going. There are several moving parts to this plot and I find it very fun to follow along. This little seemingly casual bit of conversation seems significant somehow:

chadchaddington: if I were sandy Id simply fight the trainer. not the pokemon, the trainer himself

chadchaddington: HOLY HECK SHE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT


And then we find out what it was like when Porygon disappeared from Tapestry and ended up with Coleane. I honestly assumed one of the pokemon traded from Delino was going to end up with Coleane or something! So it was cool and unexpected that it was an entirely different pokemon.

I really wonder what's going on with this porygon.

wonderful work. a complex yet sweet narrative so far.
 

Forestoak

Cosmic leech
Location
https://www.wattpad.com/717235456-pokemon-divine-a
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. custom/clodsire-custom
  2. groudon
Hello! Quick little summary/commentary review!
Nice variety here, instead of humans becoming pokemon, pokemon become humans!
Wait...never mind, the tropius remains a tropius.
I wonder why Coleane's mother is so cautious...
All of it becomes irrelevant when the absol and supposedly her porygon tells her that she's crazy with her idea of becoming a trainer.
YES! First battle!
Huh? Swellows are weak to electric moves so how is porygon not doing much?
Heh, Coleane now discovers the pure goodness of potions...
Oh, okay, now we know exactly who to blame for Tapestry's missing porygon.
I bet there's a huge argument brewing when Tapestry finds out his future friend has his porygon.
All-in-all a very funny but intriguing story! There's plenty of details just when we need it, like the battle!I really want to see what comes next...
 
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