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Pokémon Green and White

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
Well, this is something a bit special. Namely, this a rewrite of where my whole "Yangverse" shared universe project recursively began, so it's simultaneousl;y the oldest story in the project but also not too old (this rewrite was posted in 2017). It's basically where a lot of stuff regarding this project got started and why it's even called the fucking Yangverse in the first place.

But without further ado:

Green And White [5th Anniversary Edition]

green_and_white_cover.png

She was waiting. As always.

Here she was, a nigh-powerful white dragon deity, stuck in this tower in the form of a white stone shaped like some bratty human girl's hair accessory. It wasn’t fair.

Granted, she wasn’t completely lonely. There were plenty of Druddigon, who patrolled the tower along with the Golett and the Meinfoo. But of those, only high-ranking Druddigon ventured up to check on her and communicate.

Bored, she extended her senses outward from her current spherical form to see if there was something, anything, going on. “Reshiram,” she said to the empty space before her, “what are you going to do with yourself?”

She wished she could look out of one of the Dragonspiral Tower’s windows at the Unova region beyond.

“It's a beautiful place… yet me and my brother out and out destroyed it at one point...”

As always, she tried to prevent the painful memories from rushing to the front of her mind. As always, they came back even stronger as a result.

-------


In an elaborate throne room, a massive gray dragon stood, looking between two men. One man had long whiite hair but wore a voluminous black cape and robes, while the other had short black hair and shorter white robes.

"Do you really think your deluded visions would ever lead this kingdom to greatness?" said the black-clad one. "Your ideals will only bring ruin!"

"Your plan is built on a flawed foundation," said the white-clad one, "and faulty delusions of truth!"

The dragon looked back and forth between the two, their mind in just as much conflict as the two brothers.

They are divided, utterly... But I could never choose between them, I love them both... I can't... I must...

Suddenly, the dragon felt a horrible feeling, like their body was being slowly ripped apart bit by bit. They screamed, the scream coming out as a roar of anguish.

Finally, the pain stopped, and the dragon opened their eyes.

Her eyes, she realized. She had no idea how she knew, but she sensed it.
Then she looked down at her body.

It was bizarre to look at now. Strange rings encircled her neck, and her body was covered in brilliant white feathers. Her hands, she noticed, were wings. Her tail was even stranger, resembling the torches scattered around the brothers’ castle.

She felt there was something missing. Only by looking at what was next to her did she see exactly how much.

There was another dragon, this one deep black and almost mechanical-looking with its platelike scales and a tail that resembled some sort of futuristic device.

…I think we used to be the same, she thought.

I think likewise, the black dragon thought.

...Wait, you can hear my thoughts?

Pretty much… sister,
I should call you?

...That confirms it. And that’s fine.

The two dragons then noticed the two kings looking between them, mesmerized.

Last I remember, the black dragon thought, they wanted us to choose between them.

The white dragon furrowed her brow. How? I doubt it's purely by their fashion sense.

As she thought that, however, she looked over the black-clad king in question. The one who sought truth. The one who wanted the Unovan Kingdom to take what it was and improve in it, make it better. The one opposed to his brother's idea of taking a new approach from scratch.

The more she regarded him the more she realized they were partners in what they believed in.

She moved over to his side. Her brother moved over to the white-c;lad king's side. The kings regarded the dragons a bit longer then turned on each other again.

"The white one has sided with me! It knows I have found the truth!"

"It doesn't matter! The black one and I shall make my ideal a reality!"

The dragons shifted uneasily. Their loyalties aside, they knew this would not end well.

----

The ruler in black sat alone, except for the white dragon flanking him, looming over him.

"Reshiram?" he said.

She started, then shook her head. That was her name now, she'd have to get used to it.

~What is it?~ she said.

"This... division, between me and my brother," he said, "how has it affected you, given you were once the Arbiter, someone we both cared deeply about? I'm sure there's more to it than just a physical split."

Reshiram paused, thought to herself carefully for a bit, before responding.

~It's... Been odd, certainly. I don't even remember all that much of being the Arbiter, one of the major exceptions being you and your brother, and caring about you in particular.~

The king in black put a hand to his chin. "Did you lean toward me even before, or is this the part of you that chose me talking?"

Reshiram shook her head. ~I cannot say for sure.~

"I apologize."

~It's all right.~

"I wish I could say it was, but there's a harsh reality ahead."

He gave her a hard look.

"My brother and I want war.

---

She flew across the battlefield, the ruler who sought truth on her back. All around them was carnage and chaos, with the dead lying strewn about and the living fighting endlessly.

Suddenly, she saw a blueish shape speeding towards her. Garchomp, Reshiram remembered it was called – a vicious, powerful Pokémon from a faraway land.

She realized its reputation was well-deserved when it slammed into her with an Outrage.

“Aaaagh!”

She immediately retaliated with a powerful Dragon Pulse, which knocked the sharklike Dragon out of the sky.

“Well, glad that’s ov- “

She was immediately raked by a powerful Dragon Claw. Turning midair, she was unsurprised to see her ebony brother was the culprit, the ruler of Ideals on his back.

…I’m sorry, sister.

It’s fine, brother. Like it or not, this is our life now.


The two continued clashing, Reshiram firing Fusion Flares and Dragon Pulses and her brother Zekrom retaliating with Fusion Bolts and Dragon Claws. To both it seemed almost neverending.

Then they saw a glow that rivaled that of the sun.

That glow belonged to a Volcarona, the queen of the desert kingdom to the south. She flew over to the two warring dragons, heat exuding from her in waves out of her fury.

“Enough! You four started a war on a whim, and now look at all the damage you’ve caused! I wouldn’t be surprised if you set your sights on my kingdom as a battleground! Well, I’m not letting that happen!”

The two dragons looked on with shock and more than a bit of shame. The rulers riding them looked at each other with concern.

---

Years passed. War ceased. The brothers agreed to settle their differences, and lived out the rest of their days with their dragons in peace.

Their sons, however, weren't so inclined, and it wasn't long before the two dragons were facing each other on a battlefield again.

Reshiram, on said battlefield, looked back at the son of the king she had sided with. This is crude, but I have no choice.

She then turned to her brother in a fighting stance. He, strangely, seemed shocked.

But… can’t we settle this some other way?

Our friends, their fathers, said we had to listen to them. I’m taking that to heart, as hard as it is.

But it’s not right! We could destroy everything if our power goes unchecked! Do you want to risk that for some stupid argument?

I’m sorry, brother.


She unleashed a Blue Flare.

He retaliated with Bolt Strike.

The resulting shockwave spread across Unova, obliterating all in its path.

----

In the present day, Reshiram , berating herself.

“You… why didn’t you listen to your brother? His ideals weren’t so stupid right then…”

She sighed again, and settled down for a long sleep, in preparation for what seemed like an uneventful tomorrow, or next few millennia, for that matter.

---

When she woke up, however, she was surprised to see she first, was whole again, and second, had a visitor.

The visitor was human- a male, upon closer, particularly scrutinizing inspection. He wore strange clothes in black, white, and brown hues, and had a hat on his head and a strange cube dangling from his waist. His most striking features, however, were his long green hair, which formed a shaggy ponytail, and his gray eyes, which stared at her with a mix of awe and… was that embarrassment? She hadn’t seen a human in so long, she couldn’t tell.

“Can you help me?” said the human.

Reshiram tilted her head. Was he talking in her language?

“Well, I appreciate you being straightforward…But I need you to tell me what you need help with. “

“I need to separate humans and Pokémon.”

Reshiram’s eyes widened.

“But… why?”

She noticed he struggled to keep eye contact with her.

“Humans have treated Pokémon like slaves for millennia. They’ve abused them, abandoned them, and treated them like nothing but tools or numbers to be crunched. I need you to prove to the Champion of this region that they must be free.”

Reshiram resisted the urge to shake her head in amazement. How did this boy expect to “free” the world’s Pokémon?

And yet there was something about him that reminded her of her first friend, the ruler who sought the truth. She got a very strong vibe from him that he wanted the truth about this world as well. And wasn’t he right? Hadn’t millions of Pokémon, even in her time – especially in her time- been treated like dirt?
Perhaps she could help him after all.

“What do you need me to do?”

The human smiled.

---

The two were alone, in a castle, one that gave Reshiram vibes of the one she once lived in, yet somehow seemed... Off. Ignoring this for a moment, she started at the young man feeling at her feathers.

"What are you doing?!" she said.

The green-haired human gave a yelp and jumped back. "I'm sorry! I should have assumed you wouldn't be comfortable with human contact. Most Pokemon I meet aren't at first..."

Reshiram blinked a bit at "most" before sighing and shaking her head.

"It's fine. Just make sure I can see you, I'm a pretty big mon, as you can tell."

"All right," he said.

Reshiram tilted her head. "What's your name, anyway? You haven't mentioned it since I got here."

The young man paused, then shifted a bit. "It's N."

"N? That's it? Just one letter? It's got to be short for something?"

"...Natural... Harmonia... Gropius."

At that Reshiram snorted so hard in laughter she sent a few flames out from her nose.

"Gropius?! Oh, that's rich, no wonder you go by a letter!"

N cringed. "Yes, I know, it's... Please, stop..."

Reshiram did, looking at him sheepishly. "Oh, um, I'm sorry about that... Should have realized that was a sore spot."

"It's all right... It's just... That name is still strange and awkward to me, while the name N is crisp and concise, like the formula to change the world."

Reshiram nodded. "Yeah, I'd agree."

She looked around. "Though we can't really change much from in here."

"I know," said N. "Which is why I've been going out into the world to learn more."

He sighed. "Unfortunately, what I've learned has led me to resort to things I'd rather not do..."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll need to show you."

And the two headed off.

----

The Zororark snarled briefly before being sucked into the ball. Three shakes, a click, and it was caught.

N shook his head sadly before picking up the ball and turning to Reshiram.
“I normally don’t enslave them like this for too long… But I have no other choice. “

“Why don’t you?” she replied.

“Because I need to defeat the Champion. I need to show the world I’m not weak. “

“How are you weak? You’re one of the strongest humans I’ve ever seen, both in skill and spirit!”

N hung his head dejectedly.

“Tell that to Ghetsis. He says I need to be stronger if I want to accomplish Team Plasma’s goal.”

“I thought it was your goal, too?”

N turned away and gazed off in no particular direction.

“After meeting that other boy so many times… I’m not quite as sure of it anymore.”

---

Inside Plasma’s castle, N and Reshiram stood waiting.

“He’s coming. The other boy. I know it,” said N.

“I know we defeated the champion soundly… but are you sure you’ll be OK here until you need me?”

N smiled. ”Just wait for your cue.”

She flew out through the castle roof and waited. Then, when she heard N calling her name, she burst in with a triumphant roar, placing herself behind N and facing the brown-haired boy foolish enough to try and stop them.

Then, something very familiar began to float out of the other boy’s bag.

“The Dark Stone!” Reshiram said. “That means…”

The stone expanded, unfurled, until it finally formed the shape of her brother Zekrom. He landed in front of his chosen hero and let out a triumphant roar of his own.

Long time no see, sister.

I’m sorry… about last time…

I know. I’m just worried these two will start it all over again. Even if they do have good intentions this time.

Let’s hope not.


The two began to fight, flames and electrical sparks flying in all directions. At first, it seemed Reshiram had the upper hand.


“Hah!” she said as she landed a well- placed Fusion Flare.

Zekrom merely absorbed the hit and launched a Fusion Bolt at her.

Reshiram roared in pain as the bolt struck a fragile part of her chest. She collapsed, with Zekrom giving a roar of victory.

She was barely conscious for what happened next, but she could understand all the same.

After the boy emerged victorious over N’s other Pokémon, Ghetsis revealed his true colors. He was manipulating N all along, he said, and that N was just a worthless excuse for a human only good for his plans, a freak. She resisted the urge to fry that monster right there and then, and only because she was too weak.

---
Reshiram flew across the ocean, N straddling her back.

“Can we stop at that island? Please?” N said.

She was surprised, to say the least. N hadn’t said anything since leaving Plasma’s castle.

She coasted to a stop on the island N indicated. He hopped off her back, and startled her when he buried his head in her feathers and didn't remove them for a good long while.

“I…I trusted him…”

Reshiram caressed N with a wing.

“N. It's hard, I know, but we need to move on.”

“But what do I even move on to? What do we move on to?.”

He removed himself from her feathered body and gazed out at the ocean, shaking his head sadly.

“I’m nothing. Worthless. I was raised to destroy when I wanted to save. I made so many mistakes and acted all smug and cocky until everything came crashing down.”

Reshiram frowned.

“You’re not worthless, N. Not in the slightest. And on your metric... I’ve made far worse mistakes than you.”

N turned and looked at her expectantly. She noticed he no longer struggled to keep eye contact.

“And those people who say you’re worthless or horrible? They don’t matter. You can be something great, something like the world has never seen before. “

She smiled.

“I believe in you, N. That’s the truth.”

N stared at her, seemingly blankly, but with the faintest smile forming.

Reshiram grinned. “And if anyone gives you too much flack I can always fry ‘em. “

At that point he laughed joyously.

She chuckled. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go.“

He hopped on her back again. Reshiram paused for a second pondering if N's eyes were always that shade of blue before shaking her head and addressing him again.

“N?”

“Yes?”

“Want to know another truth?”

“Sure.”

“You’re the best friend I've ever had.”

And so onward they flew.

***
 

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Sinderella

Angy Tumbleweed
Staff
Location
In Guzma's Closet
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. sylveon-shiny
  2. gothitelle
  3. froslass
  4. chandelure
  5. mimikyu
Hey there! You seem to be my destined catnip partner, so I am here for a review!

I don't know much about your Yangverse, but it's safe to assume based on reading this that it has something to do with Unova, namely Reshiram and Zekrom. I'll have to read more into it, because I enjoy this little expansion on the story of the twin heroes. Was Reshiram and Zekrom's original form canonically called the Arbiter, or was that something you came up with? It's a damn solid name for an ancient Pokemon.

I particularly enjoyed how you had Reshiram and Zekrom converse so...casually with each other, as they constantly went about battling each other. It really captures the idea that both of them are just kind of going through the motions, because they don't really have much choice. They're apologetic for having to harm one another, but can't really have it any other way. It's kind of a tragic, yet still sibling-like relationship going on here.

My main gripe with the story is a really nitpicky and stupid one, you actually might laugh--to me, it seemed like Reshiram's speech patterns were very inconsistent. She seems to speak rather eloquently with Zekrom, but when conversing with N, I notice she speaks a little more colloquially (i.e. "'mon", "kiddo", "'em" to name a few). I guess I can see a world where Reshiram gradually becomes prone to speaking in a modern tongue the more time he spends with N, but N also doesn't speak very colloquially from what I remember. I also just generally have a hard time coming to terms with the idea that this ancient Pokemon would so easily just drop her eloquent speech; I feel like it'd something she'd stick to. I suppose it would be very interesting if she spoke colloquially from the get-go, but I definitely think you should just one with run--she's either gonna speak like a 2000's kid, or she's gonna speak like a 3,000 year old dragon.

Overall, a nice little story!!

Line-by-Lines
stuck in this tower in the form of a white stone shaped like some bratty human girl's hair accessory.
This sentence read very clunky to me. Maybe "in the form of a stone structure, reminiscent of a bratty human girl's hair accessory."

Pretty much… sister, I should call you?
I feel like "I should call you" was supposed to be italicized.

Her brother moved over to the white-c;lad king's side.
Lil' typo here!

She started, then shook her head.
*stared(?)

All around them was carnage and chaos, with the dead lying strewn about and the living fighting endlessly.
Oof this is such a rough image, and these sibling dragons can't do a goddamn thing about it.

The visitor was human- a male, upon closer, particularly scrutinizing inspection. He wore strange clothes in black, white, and brown hues, and had a hat on his head and a strange cube dangling from his waist. His most striking features, however, were his long green hair, which formed a shaggy ponytail, and his gray eyes, which stared at her with a mix of awe and… was that embarrassment?
Hey N, how's it goin'????

Reshiram tilted her head. Was he talking in her language?
Ooooooooooo nice little allusion to how N can speak to Pokemon.

And yet there was something about him that reminded her of her first friend, the ruler who sought the truth. She got a very strong vibe from him that he wanted the truth about this world as well. And wasn’t he right? Hadn’t millions of Pokémon, even in her time – especially in her time- been treated like dirt?
Perhaps she could help him after all.
Needs a line break between "dirt?" and "Perhaps".

"It's fine. Just make sure I can see you, I'm a pretty big mon, as you can tell."
Just one of those uses of colloquial terms that I mentioned before; it threw me off a little

"...Natural... Harmonia... Gropius."
GOD I FORGOT THAT WAS HIS NAME, that's so unfortunate

Then, something very familiar began to float out of the other boy’s bag.

“The Dark Stone!” Reshiram said. “That means…”

The stone expanded, unfurled, until it finally formed the shape of her brother Zekrom. He landed in front of his chosen hero and let out a triumphant roar of his own.
Reunited and it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels so goooooooooooooood!

After the boy emerged victorious over N’s other Pokémon, Ghetsis revealed his true colors. He was manipulating N all along, he said, and that N was just a worthless excuse for a human only good for his plans, a freak. She resisted the urge to fry that monster right there and then, and only because she was too weak.
So I think you could add a lot more depth and angst omegalul to this story by writing out this whole scene instead of telling us what happened like this. You could really, really add some more layers to this relationship N has with Reshiram--really push the hurt/comfort agenda. Reshiram has to watch N's entire existence crumble before his eyes...that's a fantastic opportunity for her to just swoop in later to say "fuck Ghetsis, I believe in you the mostest and that's all that matters."

“I believe in you, N. That’s the truth.”
🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 All sad boi needed was somebody to love him.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, was going through some options for light reading tonight and I figured that taking a look at one of your “oldie-but-a-goodie” oneshots was as good a place to start as any, especially since I don’t believe I’ve reviewed most of your corpus. Now, I know that as an older piece, there will probably be some rough edges to things, so I’ll try not to harp on too much about that during the ride, though hopefully the feedback that I provide will prove useful if you decide to go back and touch things up later on.

Anyhow, enough boilerplate, let’s get down to actually reviewing:

She was waiting. As always.

Here she was, a nigh-powerful white dragon deity, stuck in this tower in the form of a white stone shaped like some bratty human girl's hair accessory. It wasn’t fair.

For a second, I thought that you were going to say ‘blue-eyes white dragon’. :V

Granted, she wasn’t completely lonely. There were plenty of Druddigon, who patrolled the tower along with the Golett and the Meinfoo. But of those, only high-ranking Druddigon ventured up to check on her and communicate. [ ]

Part of me wonders if it’d have made sense to throw in a couple topics that the local temple monkeys Druddies passed along to lean into the whole sense of “Ugh, they’re talking about [boring_thing]. Again.
803141280380485632.webp
” that Reshiram’s got going on here right now.

Mienshao: “Oi! This is Mienshao erasure! We show up plenty often in B2W2!” >_>;
Druddigon: “Yeah, yeah, cry more. Is the place called Weaselspiral Tower? No? Then pipe down already.”
Golurk: “I’d just like to point out that we also-”
Druddigon: “Again, Dragonspiral Tower.”

Bored, she extended her senses outward from her current spherical form to see if there was something, anything, going on. “Reshiram,” she said to the empty space before her, “what are you going to do with yourself?”

Sit and look pretty? I mean, you were kinda picky about who you chose to unball yourself for a few millennia.
720106605982646283.webp



She wished she could look out of one of the Dragonspiral Tower’s windows at the Unova region beyond.

“It's a beautiful place… yet me and my brother out and out destroyed it at one point...”

Yeah, no thanks to an evil, conniving snake that literally baited you two to be at each other’s throats in this continuity.

As always, she tried to prevent the painful memories from rushing to the front of her mind. As always, they came back even stronger as a result.

A part of me wonders if this paragraph would work better going into Resh’s memories a bit more and why they’re so painful for her.

In an elaborate throne room, a massive gray dragon stood, looking between two men. One man had long whiite hair but wore a voluminous black cape and robes, while the other had short black hair and shorter white robes.

Oh, well. Never mind that, there’s our memories right there.

"Do you really think your deluded visions would ever lead this kingdom to greatness?" said the black-clad one. "Your ideals will only bring ruin!"

"Your plan is built on a flawed foundation," said the white-clad one, "and faulty delusions of truth!"

Wait, wait, wait. Was this flashback sequence from straight outta Divided I Fall always a part of this story? I swear that it wasn’t when I read the original version of this story back in the day, though it’s a nice tie-in there.

The dragon looked back and forth between the two, their mind in just as much conflict as the two brothers.

They are divided, utterly... But I could never choose between them, I love them both... I can't... I must...

Suddenly, the dragon felt a horrible feeling, like their body was being slowly ripped apart bit by bit. They screamed, the scream coming out as a roar of anguish.

I actually wonder now if this sequence was first written here for the 5th anniversary version of this one-shot, or if it originated in DIF and you wound up tying it in here. Since boy is this familiar.

Finally, the pain stopped, and the dragon opened their eyes. [ ]

Her eyes, she realized. She had no idea how she knew, but she sensed it. Then she looked down at her body.

IMO, it probably makes sense to emphasize the “Her” a bit more since the Original Dragon in your writings was gender-neutral. Though I wonder if there ought to have been some other sensations that Resh picked up on that were different given that the OD in your depiction was originally Dragon/Steel, such as for instance noticing that they felt warmer or their body felt less heavy or something like that.

It was bizarre to look at now. Strange rings encircled her neck, and her body was covered in brilliant white feathers. Her hands, she noticed, were wings. Her tail was even stranger, resembling the torches scattered around the brothers’ castle.

Zekrom: “Wait, but that covering on your body clearly resembles fur-”
401085511176814613.webp

Reshriam: “Look, we’re literally drawn in an anime art style, there’s plenty of room for author interpretation.”

She felt there was something missing. Only by looking at what was next to her did she see exactly how much.

There was another dragon, this one deep black and almost mechanical-looking with its platelike scales and a tail that resembled some sort of futuristic device.

I wonder if it makes sense to give Reshiram a different frame of reference here given that at least in DIF, this moment was set in a very pre-industrial society. e.x. if Zek’s tail briefly lights up, Resh might have her mind turn back to the glowy, staticy rocks from Chargestone Cave as a potential point of comparison since they’re both similar shades of blue that have electricity come from them.

…I think we used to be the same, she thought.

I think likewise, the black dragon thought.

[ ]


...Wait, you can hear my thoughts?

Pretty much… sister,
I should call you?

I think that it might have made sense to show off Reshiram’s surprise to telepathically hearing her quite literal other half a bit more in description.

...That confirms it. And that’s fine.

The two dragons then noticed the two kings looking between them, mesmerized.

Last I remember, the black dragon thought, they wanted us to choose between them.

The white dragon furrowed her brow. How? I doubt it's purely by their fashion sense.

Huh, I actually completely forgot that Resh and Zek in DIF spawned with their memories wiped. Though I suppose it makes sense since they were treated as all-new entities in that story while Kyurem was the “leftovers” of the OD.

As she thought that, however, she looked over the black-clad king in question. The one who sought truth. The one who wanted the Unovan Kingdom to take what it was and improve in it, make it better. The one opposed to his brother's idea of taking a new approach from scratch.

The more she regarded him the more she realized they were partners in what they believed in.

She moved over to his side. Her brother moved over to the white-clad king's side. The kings regarded the dragons a bit longer then turned on each other again.

I did a double-take there at the brothers having an inverted color coding relative to their Taos for a moment, though hey, I suppose the games did do that with their box legendaries, so…

If you ever do a v3 of this story, the paragraph in underlined feels like a part that’s pretty ripe for expansion, especially since if Resh and Zek are genuinely coming into this with incomplete / distorted memories, you’d think that they’d want to hear the brothers plead their case for what they stand for before picking sides, especially since Resh and Zek might not even be cognizant that they inherently want truth/desire respectively.

"The white one has sided with me! It knows I have found the truth!"

"It doesn't matter! The black one and I shall make my ideal a reality!"

I did a minor double-take at Zek’s Hero bringing up ‘reality’ as a term since there’s actually two official Pokémon localizations in which that was what Resh’s attribute was. But that’s just me veering off on tangents a bit.

The dragons shifted uneasily. Their loyalties aside, they knew this would not end well.

And boy did it ever not end well.
699082306027126844.webp


The ruler in black sat alone, except for the white dragon flanking him, looming over him.

"Reshiram?" he said.

She started, then shook her head. That was her name now, she'd have to get used to it.

Reshiram: “Wait, how did you pick ‘Reshiram’ as my name anyways?”
992880313871126549.webp

Black Prince: “Well, it was that or ‘Truthigon’, and ‘Reshiram’ just sounded better after repeating it a few times.”
720106605982646283.webp


~What is it?~ she said.

Wait, assuming that this is also meant to be telepathy like in HAA, remember to keep your formatting consistent, since the back and forth between Resh and Zek in the past scene didn’t have the tildes like this.

"This... division, between me and my brother," he said, "how has it affected you, given you were once the Arbiter, someone we both cared deeply about? I'm sure there's more to it than just a physical split."

I kinda wonder if this should’ve come up as a background detail or something in the sequence right when the Taos fissioned. Since I know what this is and what it means since I read DIF last year, but I’m not sure if this would’ve meant anything to me let alone why Resh’s hero would’ve cared about it if I hadn’t due to the lack of in-story context.

Reshiram paused, thought to herself carefully for a bit, before responding.

~It's... Been odd, certainly. I don't even remember all that much of being the Arbiter, one of the major exceptions being you and your brother, and caring about you in particular.~

I actually wonder if those memories are mostly stuck with Kyurem, or if they got scrambled across the three Taos. Since that’s gotten me wondering if any of the three could be trusted to give a reliable narration of what they remember of being the OD, since they’d have attempted to piece things together on their own and under the influence of biased buddies.

The king in black put a hand to his chin. "Did you lean toward me even before, or is this the part of you that chose me talking?"

Reshiram shook her head. ~I cannot say for sure.~

I… didn’t get the vibe that Reshiram subconsciously picked up Black King on her truth-o-vision, which I think this is meant to imply. If you do ever go back to expand that earlier sequence, it might make sense to hint or imply that a bit harder in the actual description.

"I apologize."

~It's all right.~

"I wish I could say it was, but there's a harsh reality ahead."

Reshiram: “Wait, there… is?”
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He gave her a hard look.

"My brother and I want war.

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Especially since Resh and Zek’s starter signature moves literally get stronger after being struck by the one of the opposing party’s.

She flew across the battlefield, the ruler who sought truth on her back. All around them was carnage and chaos, with the dead lying strewn about and the living fighting endlessly.

Suddenly, she saw a blueish shape speeding towards her. Garchomp, Reshiram remembered it was called – a vicious, powerful Pokémon from a faraway land.

She realized its reputation was well-deserved when it slammed into her with an Outrage.

“Aaaagh!”

Not that you won’t have to keep things a bit on the blur-o-vision side to keep the rating down, but I do wonder if this sequence would be more impactful if that first paragraph were fleshed out into a more concrete anecdote to sell the idea that stuff is blowing up and peoplemons are dying all around her.

She immediately retaliated with a powerful Dragon Pulse, which knocked the shark-like Dragon out of the sky. [ ]

“Well, glad that’s ov- “

She was immediately raked by a powerful Dragon Claw. Turning midair, she was unsurprised to see her ebony brother was the culprit, the ruler of Ideals on his back.

I’m not sure if the idea of Resh having a moment of quiet is really sold here, which you think would be a pre-requisite to any “glad that’s over” moment since otherwise it’s not clear if Resh is still under active fire or something like that.

…I’m sorry, sister.

[ ]


It’s fine, brother. Like it or not, this is our life now.

IMO, this works better with some sort of reaction from a combination of Reshiram and her hero interleaved between these two lines, since you’d think that Black King would have a few more opinions / be egging Resh on to spit fire after seeing his brother turned nemesis right there.

The two continued clashing, Reshiram firing Fusion Flares and Dragon Pulses and her brother Zekrom retaliating with Fusion Bolts and Dragon Claws. To both it seemed almost never ending.

Okay, while I understand not wanting to get bogged down in description that fundamentally isn’t needed, I honestly wonder if this could’ve been fleshed out a bit more as a blow-by-blow with more of a glimpse of what’s going through Resh’s mind. Like is she sad she has to do this? Has she considered bolting? Is she internalizing Black King’s own mindset and starting to view Zek and everyone in his camp as an enemy? Lotsa possibilities here, but they’re not really delved on.

Then they saw a glow that rivaled that of the sun.

That glow belonged to a Volcarona, the queen of the desert kingdom to the south. She flew over to the two warring dragons, heat exuding from her in waves out of her fury.

“Enough! You four started a war on a whim, and now look at all the damage you’ve caused! I wouldn’t be surprised if you set your sights on my kingdom as a battleground! Well, I’m not letting that happen!”

Oh, so this is where that moment involving Relic Castle’s area came from in DIF. Though I actually wonder if queenie here actually has a more potent angle that she can play given that if I remember my events in DIF right, she literally had two of her own children partner with each of the Monochrome Kings, and now they’re fighting each other.

The two dragons looked on with shock and more than a bit of shame. The rulers riding them looked at each other with concern.

[ ]

You’re missing a bit of a conclusion to your present last paragraph here. Like I kinda get the idea that Resh and Zek were meant to stand down or else fly away after being chastened, but that feels like a moment that should probably be explicitly depicted a bit more.

Years passed. War ceased. The brothers agreed to settle their differences, and lived out the rest of their days with their dragons in peace.

And then their kids came along. Since I remember this story from the official fluff.
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Their sons, however, weren't so inclined, and it wasn't long before the two dragons were facing each other on a battlefield again.

Reshiram, on said battlefield, looked back at the son of the king she had sided with. This is cruel, but I have no choice.

Assuming that Resh is about to do what I think she is, you probably want ‘cruel’ instead of ‘crude’. That said, I kinda wonder if a bit more of the backstory and thought process behind Resh should’ve been delved into here since we basically get a paragraph acknowledging “and then the kids came along” with no real indication of how Resh feels about the new king or what’s going through her mind before she and Zek go full regional barbecue.

She then turned to her brother in a fighting stance. He, strangely, seemed shocked.

But… can’t we settle this some other way?

[ ]


Our friends, their fathers, said we had to listen to them. I’m taking that to heart, as hard as it is.

This feels like another moment where if you ever do a v3 that it probably makes sense to slow down and show the wheels turning in Resh’s mind a bit more. Especially if “whelp, we’re warring again” is genuinely bothering her.

But it’s not right! We could destroy everything if our power goes unchecked! Do you want to risk that for some stupid argument?

I’m sorry, brother.


She unleashed a Blue Flare.

He retaliated with Bolt Strike.

The resulting shockwave spread across Unova, obliterating all in its path.

That must’ve been one hell of a Blue Flare and Bolt Strike given that those two attacks alone laid waste to a region. I kinda wonder if it’d have made sense to show the surrounding
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/
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reactions of the Monochrome Kings’ kids and any background mooks when they realize “wait, this is different than last time and I think we’re in danger right now”.

Zekrom: “I’ll tear it all down!
Reshiram: “Wrong series for that, bro. And seriously, we just killed the better part of a region. Curb your enthusiasm.” >_>;

In the present day, Reshiram [ ], berating herself.

“You… why didn’t you listen to your brother? His ideals weren’t so stupid right then…”

She sighed again, and settled down for a long sleep, in preparation for what seemed like an uneventful tomorrow, or next few millennia, for that matter.

I think that you accidentally snipped a chunk of your paragraph before the “berating herself” there. It might make sense to double-check your docs to see if you have a more complete version lying around in notes somewhere.

When she woke up, however, she was surprised to see she first, she was whole again, and second, had a visitor.

The visitor was human- a male, upon closer, particularly scrutinizing inspection. He wore strange clothes in black, white, and brown hues, and had a hat on his head and a strange cube dangling from his waist. His most striking features, however, were his long green hair, which formed a shaggy ponytail, and his gray eyes, which stared at her with a mix of awe and… was that embarrassment? She hadn’t seen a human in so long, she couldn’t tell.

“Can you help me?” said the human.

Let’s just ignore all those Pokémon on the lower floors that Team Plasma almost certainly had to run over to get N to this point, since they couldn’t possibly have been happy about that hole that got punched in the wall. ^^;

Reshiram tilted her head. Was he talking in her language?

N:
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Reshiram: “... Wait, but how?” .-.

“Well, I appreciate you being straightforward…But I need you to tell me what you need help with. “

“I need to separate humans and Pokémon.”

Reshiram’s eyes widened.

“But… why?”

N: “I mean, I’ve got a pretty good reason right about here, just saying.”
Reshiram: “Wait, but we don’t share a continuity with that story, though.” ^^;

She noticed he struggled to keep eye contact with her.

“Humans have treated Pokémon like slaves for millennia. They’ve abused them, abandoned them, and treated them like nothing but tools or numbers to be crunched. I need you to prove to the Champion of this region that they must be free.”

Reshiram resisted the urge to shake her head in amazement. How did this boy expect to “free” the world’s Pokémon?

And yet there was something about him that reminded her of her first friend, the ruler who sought the truth. She got a very strong vibe from him that he wanted the truth about this world as well. And wasn’t he right? Hadn’t millions of Pokémon, even in her time – especially in her time- been treated like dirt?

We… didn’t really get to see the underlined at all in those flashback scenes, which you’d think that the war sequences or the Monochrome Kings’ kids would be a great mechanism for showing this off + getting her and Zekrom jaded to the point where they went “You know what? If it’ll stop this, it’s better that Unova burns”.

Perhaps she could help him after all.

“What do you need me to do?”

The human smiled.

Yeeeeeeah, N and Team Plasma’s gambit is one of those things that has gotten a lot darker in retrospect after the Taos’ Gen 8 Pokédex entries came out.
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The two were alone, in a castle, one that gave Reshiram vibes of the one she once lived in, yet somehow seemed... Off. Ignoring this for a moment, she stared at the young man feeling at her feathers.

"What are you doing?!" she said.

The green-haired human gave a yelp and jumped back. "I'm sorry! I should have assumed you wouldn't be comfortable with human contact. Most Pokemon I meet aren't at first..."

I’m honestly surprised that N thought of doing this at all given that canonically, up until the events of B1W1’s campaign, the vast majority of Pokémon he’d interacted with for any length of time were abused or else wronged by humans in some fashion. Guess the floof was just too much to resist.

Reshiram blinked a bit at "most" before sighing and shaking her head.

"It's fine. Just make sure I can see you, I'm a pretty big mon, as you can tell."

"All right," he said.

Reshiram tilted her head. "What's your name, anyway? You haven't mentioned it since I got here."

The young man paused, then shifted a bit. "It's N."

Reshiram: “That’s a letter. What’s your real name?”
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N: “Technically it’s ‘Natural’, but that sounds stupid to most people, so I usually stick with ‘N’.” ^^;

"N? That's it? Just one letter? It's got to be short for something?"

"...Natural... Harmonia... Gropius."


At that Reshiram snorted so hard in laughter she sent a few flames out from her nose.

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I forgot that that cutaway gag basically happens in this story.

"Gropius?! Oh, that's rich, no wonder you go by a letter!"

N cringed. "Yes, I know, it's... Please, stop..."

Reshiram did, looking at him sheepishly. "Oh, um, I'm sorry about that... Should have realized that was a sore spot."

Oh, so was this one of those arguments that N tells you about in the final sequence of B1W1? o<o

"It's all right... It's just... That name is still strange and awkward to me, while the name N is crisp and concise, like the formula to change the world."

Reshiram nodded. "Yeah, I'd agree."

Ah yes, N just channeling his inner:
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Right now.

[ ]

She looked around. "Though we can't really change much from in here."

"I know," said N. "Which is why I've been going out into the world to learn more."

Prooooobably a good thing that all the Plasma Grunts dutifully made a point of keeping these two far, far away from the parts of the Castle that were still under active construction.
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He sighed. "Unfortunately, what I've learned has led me to resort to things I'd rather not do..."

[ ]


"What do you mean?"

"I'll need to show you."

And the two headed off.

IMO, it might make sense to take a moment to have Resh react or have more internal thoughts to N’s statement there.

The Zororark snarled briefly before being sucked into the ball. Three shakes, a click, and it was caught.

N shook his head sadly before picking up the ball and turning to Reshiram.


I normally don’t enslave them like this for too long… But I have no other choice. “

Oh, so you rolled with the take that N’s final team were all wild-caught. I wonder where on earth he came across his Archeops and Tirtouga in that case.

“Why don’t you?” she replied.

“Because I need to defeat the Champion. I need to show the world I’m not weak. “

“How are you weak? You’re one of the strongest humans I’ve ever seen, both in skill and spirit!”

Reshiram: “Also, I’m here, you know. I could beat any Champion thrown at me that wasn’t my brother back in the day!” >_>;

N hung his head dejectedly.

“Tell that to Ghetsis. He says I need to be stronger if I want to accomplish Team Plasma’s goal.”

[ ]


“I thought it was your goal, too?”

N turned away and gazed off in no particular direction. [ ]

“After meeting that other boy so many times… I’m not quite as sure of it anymore.”

IMO, this sequence would work a bit better elaborating on N + Resh’s moods and whatever’s going on in N’s head. Especially if she notices that N seems a bit unsettled or something like that.

Inside Plasma’s castle, N and Reshiram stood waiting.

“He’s coming. The other boy. I know it,” said N.

“I know we defeated the champion soundly… but are you sure you’ll be OK here until you need me?”

N smiled. ”Just wait for your cue.”

Reshiram: “Just saying, N. We could just go and pointedly make a demand for people to release their Pokémon. I can burn this region if it comes down to that.”
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N: “Let’s… not get so rash so quickly. Also, Ghetsis was insistent that we needed to defeat the Hero of Ideals for this to work.” ^^;

She flew out through the castle roof and waited. Then, when she heard N calling her name, she burst in with a triumphant roar, placing herself behind N and facing the brown-haired boy foolish enough to try and stop them.

Then, something very familiar began to float out of the other boy’s bag.

“The Dark Stone!” Reshiram said. “That means…”

I can’t tell if this is meant to be deliberately canon-divergent or not, since I remembered Reshiram doing a bit more than that when I first faced down N in Plasma Castle back in my White playthrough. There was a lot more fire flying around and:

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involved.

The stone expanded, unfurled, until it finally formed the shape of her brother Zekrom. He landed in front of his chosen hero and let out a triumphant roar of his own.

Long time no see, sister.

[ ]


I’m sorry… about last time…

[ ]


I know. I’m just worried these two will start it all over again. Even if they do have good intentions this time.

Let’s hope not.

This feels like another part where it’d have made sense to slow down a bit more and show a bit more of Reshiram and Zekrom’s reaction, due to some combination of finally seeing each other in the flesh after thousands of years plus the whole
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-ness of “... what if we raze the region again?

Though this kinda wasn’t an issue in my playthrough since I actually benched my Tao entirely and just took N on with my normal team, so…
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The two began to fight, flames and electrical sparks flying in all directions. At first, it seemed Reshiram had the upper hand.

“Hah!” she said as she landed a well- placed Fusion Flare.

Zekrom merely absorbed the hit and launched a Fusion Bolt at her.

Beyond the obvious of me feeling like things should be a bit more ‘blow-by-blow’ here, I… feel like we’re missing a bit of a step here for how the Taos talk their way into fighting again when they’re worried about potentially razing the region again. Like does Resh have any internal conflict between those competing voices of “I shouldn’t go all-out, it’ll toast Unova again” and “N trusts me, and I believe in his cause, I should lay everything on the line here”

Reshiram roared in pain as the bolt struck a fragile part of her chest. She collapsed, with Zekrom giving a roar of victory.

She was barely conscious for what happened next, but she could understand all the same.

After the boy emerged victorious over N’s other Pokémon, Ghetsis revealed his true colors. He was manipulating N all along, he said, and that N was just a worthless excuse for a human only good for his plans, a freak. She resisted the urge to fry that monster right there and then, and only because she was too weak.

I kinda wonder if the last paragraph works better if it’s written out a bit more explicitly. Since that way we can see more of Reshiram’s :screm: and boiling rage while being blocked by lack of energy to go on or something like that.

Reshiram flew across the ocean, N straddling her back.

“Can we stop at that island? Please?” N said.

She was surprised, to say the least. N hadn’t said anything since leaving Plasma’s castle.

She coasted to a stop on the island N indicated. He hopped off her back, and startled her when he buried his head in her feathers and didn't remove them for a good long while.

“I…I trusted him…”

Wait, what is Reshiram thinking at this point in time, anyways? Like does she feel ashamed for not being able to deliver for N? Upset after finding out just how much Team Plasma was all a scam by Ghetsis and his personal ambitions? Confused and unsure what to do at this point? Lotsa possibilities, but they’re not really delved on in the present draft.

Reshiram caressed N with a wing.

“N. It's hard, I know, but we need to move on.”

“But what do I even move on to? What do we move on to?

Well, you could always jet across Kalos and go and gawk at your statues in Parfum Palace… :V

He removed himself from her feathered body and gazed out at the ocean, shaking his head sadly.

“I’m nothing. Worthless. I was raised to destroy when I wanted to save. I made so many mistakes and acted all smug and cocky until everything came crashing down.”

Okay, not that N didn’t have shades of that, especially in his later battles, but we don’t really get to see that in any of the scenes up to this point. Like you’d think that at the least, we’d see this in his banter with Hilbert in the scene where the B1W1 climax goes down.

Reshiram frowned.

“You’re not worthless, N. Not in the slightest. And on your metric... I’ve made far worse mistakes than you.”

Reshiram: “As in ‘destroying civilizations’-tier mistakes. So… uh. Yeah, try to keep things in perspective there.”
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N turned and looked at her expectantly. She noticed he no longer struggled to keep eye contact.

“And those people who say you’re worthless or horrible? They don’t matter. You can be something great, something like the world has never seen before. “

D’aww… your take on these two have quite the dynamic there.

[ ] She smiled.

“I believe in you, N. That’s the truth.”

N stared at her, seemingly blankly, but with the faintest smile forming.

Reshiram grinned. “And if anyone gives you too much flack I can always fry ‘em. “

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Well that’s one way to resolve a conflict. Though I wonder if Resh having shades of being willing to solve her problems with violence should’ve been played up a bit, since I actually got the opposite impression from the parts where she worries about going too far.

At that point he laughed joyously.

She chuckled. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go.“

He hopped on her back again. Reshiram paused for a second pondering if N's eyes were always that shade of blue before shaking her head and addressing him again.

Wait, is that meant to be some sort of psychic or aura thing there? Since I don’t ever recall N having blue eyes canonically.

“N?”

“Yes?”

“Want to know another truth?”

“Sure.”

“You’re the best friend I've ever had.”

And so onward they flew.

Waaaaait, but they were never described getting ready to fly again. Though otherwise it’s a pretty cute ending note there.

Alright, made it to the end. It was a pretty fun piece, and it definitely reads different after coming into it with the benefit of added context from some of your other stories, but it’s a pretty nice Reshiram-POV story of the part of Pokémon White’s plot from the Dragonspiral Tower visit and onward, with the main standout strength being the characterization that you put into the different members of the cast.

I understand if you opt to let sleeping dogs lie for making further changes to this one-shot, but if you ever did do a v3, the number one structural issue that I see from this story is that it’s a bit compressed and skims over bits of detail and characterization at times that undercuts stuff that gets brought up later on. Like we get told that Reshiram saw Pokémon getting mistreated back in the day, which ultimately helps convince her to help N’s quest, except… that was never depicted in the story prior to that point. A similar thing happens with N reflecting on how he was cocky in the scene where he’s pouring his heart out to Reshiram after his “... Yeah, I need some time to figure my life out” sequence right before the credits roll in W1 but we don’t really get to see that in the story beforehand.

Like I get that a part of that is that this oneshot is built around very specific snapshots of these two’s journey to avoid this becoming an epic in length since the premise would be very easy to adapt into an out-and-out chapterfic, but even if designing a story for a short run, showing things is always more impactful than telling. Much in the same way that there were a few paragraphs here or there that easily could’ve been blown up into at least half a page of content, and likely would’ve been more impactful to see play out from it.

But on balance, I think that the oneshot was still enjoyable even if I had bones to pick with it. Though now it’s gotten me curious as to what Zekrom’s end of the story was like in this continuity given that you have written stories about the other two ends of the Tao trio. But I suppose that’s a tale for another day.

Hope the feedback was helpful, @Umbramatic , and best of luck with Review Blitz.
 
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