Pokémon Giovanni, At Last, We See Each Other Plain

[Torchic W. Pip]

I very short fic I wrote in one night for Giovanni's birthday.

There is some very moderate violence, but no blood or anything, just a few punches.

-

A man and his Nidoking walked into the Pewter City Gym, and when Brock saw the man, his body and soul filled with dread.

“Hello, Brock,” Giovanni said.

Brock backed up against the wall as Nidoking approached him. He took out his precious Onix’s Pokéball, but Nidoking knocked it away. With another punch, Nidoking sent Brock to the floor. Brock looked up at the menacing Pokémon. His fate was sealed.

“Don’t try to resist,” Giovanni hissed. “You know Ground types are super effective against Rock types.”

“Haven’t you caused enough suffering? Why return? Why, out of all the Gyms in Kanto, must you invade mine?"

Giovanni walked closer.

“Brock, do you know what day it is today?”

“What?!”

“Do you know what day it is today?”

Brock flinched at Giovanni's tone and began to tremble.

“Au-August 1?”

“And what makes that day special?”

“It’s the-the first day of the month?”

“It’s my birthday.”

-

The party was held in Lance’s kitchen.

The perimeter was blockaded by Team Rocket grunts and Zubats. Streamers and balloons covered the walls. The Kanto and Johto League members, among a few other notable figures from the two regions, nervously gathered around the table, wearing party hats. Giovanni sat in front of a store bought vanilla cake. In that strange, clearish, red icing, the phrase “Happy Birthday Giovanni” was messily written.

Blue blew a party horn before everyone—in all twelve major keys, all twelve minor keys, countless different rhythms, and several subtly different tempos—began to sing:

“Happy birthday to you
“Happy birthday to you
“Happy birthday Giovanni
“Happy birthday to you.”

“I wish for all the Pokémon,” Giovanni said before blowing out the candles.

One candle still flickered. Giovanni smashed it with his fist. POUND! Cake on everyone’s faces. Giovanni smiled. All of the candles were out.

“Now my wish will come true.”

“We all heard what your wish is,” Lance said. “It won’t come true now.”

Giovanni threw what was left of the cake into Lance’s face.

“I want my presents,” Giovanni demanded.

“I got you a phone,” Bruno said.

Giovanni took the iPhone XYZ Mega Ultra Z Max Plus 4 and stared at it. He threw it across the room. The whole room went silent as he stood up.

“I wanted a Samsung Galaxy. This is the worst birthday ever—”

“I got you Airpods.”

Sabrina stepped forward with a box wrapped in purple paper. Giovanni opened the box. It was filled to the brim with Airpods like it was a box of rocks. How Sabrina had gotten so many Airpods was a mystery. It didn't matter. Giovanni was happy. He even smiled for the first time that day.

“This is the best birthday ever. Thanks, everyone.”

“Can we go home now?” Bugsy asked. “We’ve been here for seven hours, and I need to get ready for my soccer game.”

 

[kintsugi]

I'm going to be real, I had no idea what I was expecting when I walked into this story. From the title, my experience with your work mostly being from BHWIB, and the intro with Giovanni's nidoking just punching Brock into the floor I was thinking this was going to be a parody/imitation of the Les Mis confrontation scene. Truly words don't describe how I felt between these two sentences/the line break.

“It’s my birthday.”

-

The party was held in Lance’s kitchen.

Blue blew a party horn before everyone—in all twelve major keys, all twelve minor keys, countless different rhythms, and several subtly different tempos—began to sing:

It's true tbh this song is fucking impossible to sing; good on Blue for covering all the bases

I admit I'm not always sold on just canon characters doing shenanigans without their pokemon/generally being free of the things that tend to make them unique characters in their own right in the Pokemon setting--that's more of a personal preference thing, not a "this is how the writing must be done"--but for a short piece that's treading for the comedy line rather than anything remotely serious, I think it works. Can't really be concerned about trying to maintain the feel of a canon character if they're just smashing cake into the table. This would work with pretty much any villain/cast of heroes I imagine, but "I wish for all the pokemon" and then Lance's deadpan "now that we've heard your wish it won't come true" as if that's the major issue at stake here does have some deep irony coming from Giovanni, since normally he's the serious one who actually cares about the logistics of how things work and Jesse/James/Meowth are the ones going around making giant mechas and complaining about the tWeRpS.

Comedy's hard to time well, and I think you do a good job of not having the joke overstay it's welcome. Things are incredibly absurd but there's not really a pressure to explain why or to dig into the joke too hard, which overall I think helps you land the comedic moments really well. I am genuinely confused by this fic's existence/its general place in the rest of your work, but it was hilarious and fun to read. Thanks for sharing!

 

[Torchic W. Pip]

@kintsugi I would love to know what was going through my head when I wrote this, but alas. I'm glad you enjoyed it, though!

 

[ShiniGojira]

Yo, Torchic! Wonderful weather we're having, right? (I'm just kidding, it's like ridiculously hot here, dear God.) Here with another review thanks to Negrek's big post in the hype thread, also because I'm going on a binge for w3 and also also to see what you're up to.

Anyway, to begin with. I was certainly caught off guard by what this story became. Was kinda expecting a semi-wholesome, maybe angst-ish Giovanni fic, but this is equally as good, even if I was not expecting for something like this.

So, um this was... something. It was fun and had some parts that made me chuckle and go 'What the hell?'

Giovanni being semi-serious and goofy is a pretty funny take on his character. He reminds me of someone but I'm not quite sure who it is.

The jokes were quick and unexpected, and I think that made the punchline more enjoyable.

Here's some line-by-line thoughts:

A man and his Nidoking walked into the Pewter City Gym, and when Brock saw the man, his body and soul filled with dread.

Oh crap! Giovanni's finally snapped!

Brock backed up against the wall as Nidoking approached him. He took out his precious Onix’s Pokéball, but Nidoking knocked it away. With another punch, Nidoking sent Brock to the floor. Brock looked up at the menacing Pokémon. His fate was sealed.

It was nice meeting you, Brock. May you be as rock hard as you are in your next life.

“Haven’t you caused enough suffering? Why return? Why, out of all the Gyms in Kanto, must you invade mine?"

You used an Onix for crying out loud. That thing's like weaker than an Oddish! (Not to bash on Onix on anything. I think its design is pretty cool even if it's not... the best)

“It’s the-the first day of the month?”

“It’s my birthday.”

-

The party was held in Lance’s kitchen.

Nice cut. Felt like it is its own joke.

Blue blew a party horn before everyone—in all twelve major keys, all twelve minor keys, countless different rhythms, and several subtly different tempos—began to sing:

Damn, impressive, Blue. I've tried doing that before but man is it hard.

One candle still flickered. Giovanni smashed it with his fist. POUND! Cake on everyone’s faces. Giovanni smiled. All of the candles were out.

Yes. Like the light on everyone's faces.

Now my wish will come true.”

“We all heard what your wish is,” Lance said. “It won’t come true now.”

Giovanni threw what was left of the cake into Lance’s face.

Love this exchange. Think it's the best one in this entire story.

Giovanni took the iPhone XYZ Mega Ultra Z Max Plus 4 and stared at it. He threw it across the room. The whole room went silent as he stood up.

“I wanted a Samsung Galaxy. This is the worst birthday ever—”

Karen Giovanni is best Giovanni.

“I got you Airpods.”

Sabrina stepped forward with a box wrapped in purple paper. Giovanni opened the box. It was filled to the brim with Airpods like it was a box of rocks. How Sabrina had gotten so many Airpods was a mystery. It didn't matter. Giovanni was happy. He even smiled for the first time that day.

“This is the best birthday ever. Thanks, everyone.”

Sabrina must've hypnotized like a dozen manages for that.

So, a funny little short and it's pretty good. I'm not quite sure what else to say other than "Good job! You did a funny!"

Make sure to take care of yourself! Have a lovely day!

 

[Torchic W. Pip]

Yo, Torchic! Wonderful weather we're having, right? (I'm just kidding, it's like ridiculously hot here, dear God.)

It's not hot over here... yet.

Here with another review thanks to Negrek's big post in the hype thread, also because I'm going on a binge for w3 and also also to see what you're up to.

Oh hell yeah.

Anyway, to begin with. I was certainly caught off guard by what this story became. Was kinda expecting a semi-wholesome, maybe angst-ish Giovanni fic, but this is equally as good, even if I was not expecting for something like this.

So, um this was... something. It was fun and had some parts that made me chuckle and go 'What the hell?'

My fics are all either depressing angst or attempts at the funny. No in between.

The jokes were quick and unexpected, and I think that made the punchline more enjoyable.

Yes! I did jokes right!

It was nice meeting you, Brock. May you be as rock hard as you are in your next life.

Nice cut. Felt like it is its own joke.

I used cuts right!

Damn, impressive, Blue. I've tried doing that before but man is it hard.

It sure is lol.

Yes. Like the light on everyone's faces.

Like the hope in their hearts.

Love this exchange. Think it's the best one in this entire story.

Hell yeah I did good exchanges!

Karen Giovanni is best Giovanni.

Therapist: Karen Giovanni isn't real he can't hurt you.
Karen Giovanni:

Sabrina must've hypnotized like a dozen manages for that.

Who knows lol

So, a funny little short and it's pretty good. I'm not quite sure what else to say other than "Good job! You did a funny!"

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6y-xOIgWLU

Make sure to take care of yourself! Have a lovely day!

You too!

 

[Spiteful Murkrow]

Heya, going into this thing blind since I wanted to try out another fic that was on the shorter side for Review Blitz. But... 475 words, huh? I'm admittedly a little skeptical of how much plot you can cram into something that short, but let's give it a go.

A man and his Nidoking walked into the Pewter City Gym, and when Brock saw the man, his body and soul filled with dread.

“Hello, Brock,” Giovanni said.

Brock backed up against the wall as Nidoking approached him. He took out his precious Onix’s Pokéball, but Nidoking knocked it away. With another punch, Nidoking sent Brock to the floor. Brock looked up at the menacing Pokémon. His fate was sealed.

I take it that this isn't Anime!Brock, since he at least had a couple Water-types stomping around who'd have put on a less pathetic show than that. :V

“Don’t try to resist,” Giovanni hissed. “You know Ground types are super effective against Rock types.”

“Haven’t you caused enough suffering? Why return? Why, out of all the Gyms in Kanto, must you invade mine?"

Giovanni: "Because I can? What more reason do I need?"
Brock: "... I don't like where this is going."

Giovanni walked closer.

“Brock, do you know what day it is today?”

“What?!”

“Do you know what day it is today?”

Brock flinched at Giovanni's tone and began to tremble.

“Au-August 1?”

Giovanni: "So you don't know what day it is today." >:|
Brock: "Look, the answer is correct on a technical level, okay?!" >.<

“And what makes that day special?”

“It’s the-the first day of the month?”

“It’s my birthday.”

Brock: "... I don't suppose that I can RSVP 'no' to this, can I?"

Giovanni:

Brock: "Uh... yeah, I didn't think so either." O_O;

The party was held in Lance’s kitchen.

The perimeter was blockaded by Team Rocket grunts and Zubats. Streamers and balloons covered the walls. The Kanto and Johto League members, among a few other notable figures from the two regions, nervously gathered around the table, wearing party hats. Giovanni sat in front of a store bought vanilla cake. In that strange, clearish, red icing, the phrase “Happy Birthday Giovanni” was messily written.

Blue blew a party horn before everyone—in all twelve major keys, all twelve minor keys, countless different rhythms, and several subtly different tempos—began to sing:

“Happy birthday to you
“Happy birthday to you
“Happy birthday Giovanni
“Happy birthday to you.”

Well I'll admit, you can't get more memorable for birthday parties than having a hostage situation.

“I wish for all the Pokémon,” Giovanni said before blowing out the candles.

One candle still flickered. Giovanni smashed it with his fist. POUND! Cake on everyone’s faces. Giovanni smiled. All of the candles were out.

“Now my wish will come true.”

“We all heard what your wish is,” Lance said. “It won’t come true now.”

Giovanni threw what was left of the cake into Lance’s face.

“I want my presents,” Giovanni demanded.

Blue: "(That wouldn't be our Pokémon, right?)"

Giovanni: "It will be if I don't get something good from you lot." >:|

“I got you a phone,” Bruno said.

Giovanni took the iPhone XYZ Mega Ultra Z Max Plus 4 and stared at it. He threw it across the room. The whole room went silent as he stood up.

“I wanted a Samsung Galaxy. This is the worst birthday ever—”

Okay, I'll admit. I laughed.

“I got you Airpods.”

Sabrina stepped forward with a box wrapped in purple paper. Giovanni opened the box. It was filled to the brim with Airpods like it was a box of rocks. How Sabrina had gotten so many Airpods was a mystery. It didn't matter. Giovanni was happy. He even smiled for the first time that day.

“This is the best birthday ever. Thanks, everyone.”

>liking Airpods over an iPhone
>when Airpods have non-replaceable batteries

I suppose I shouldn't expect better taste from a guy who spams giant red 'R's over all of his stuff. >:V

“Can we go home now?” Bugsy asked. “We’ve been here for seven hours, and I need to get ready for my soccer game.”

I honestly think it'd have been funnier to end on a note to the effect of "No, we're enjoying my birthday." and then narrating something to the effect of: "And then everybody did, begrudgingly."

As for my overall thoughts, I thought the piece was short and funny. Maybe a bit too short though, since I feel like you could've wrung a few more gags out from slipping in more description and putting in funny background events to play up the absurdity of the situation / emphasizing how much the Gym Leaders / Indigo E4 really don't want to be there for Giovanni's birthday, which I feel is the story's main weakness at the moment.

But hey, you put a smile on my face in less than 500 words, so I'd call that a pretty respectable showing for a blind read @Just a Torchic . Happy writing, and good luck with the Review Blitz. ^^

 

[Torchic W. Pip]

@Spiteful Murkrow thank you so much for the review! I’m so happy you enjoyed it (:

I just realized the word count of this thing.

But yeah, this fic could use some more meat. I’m gonna have to feed it like Lucy feeds Spike in I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown. But I’m glad it made you smile! That means I did my job right!