WOAH. Surely they don't actually ship off convicts to the Wasteland. Surely it's just an 'angry mob' thing. Because if it isn't..."Well now it's a simple one-way ticket for you patéticos parásitos out into the Wastes!" a Granbull with a lavender headband growled back.
Nida: "Is there no such thing as 'separation of powers' on this island?" o_o'"Aha, now I'm ready! I, Judge Hatteras now call this court into session!"
Crom: "What--you mean you're not supposed to have the Guildmaster, chief judge, mayor, and head of the tourist board be the same person? Because if they fall ill/die the island's institutions are essentially paralysed? Maybe those pirates hit you in the head too hard. Poor Nida..."
Ah, good, so she wasn't hu--"They stole from my bakery like a bunch of ill-mannered ferals!" Gwenith's voice roared from the crowd, the Druddigon shaking a fist in the air.
"And Grand Theft Pastry…"
You... you...! You have no right making me chuckle with that joke!
Wait--she can breathe above water? Weird. Either way, this was very PG-13 for a pirate raid. You can definitely tell the story's aiming for that rating."And... Uh… We didn't kill anyone? I think?" a Carvahna weighed down by a rock tied to her tail offered.
No civil law code on this island? Tsk tsk. Asking an angry mob hardly sounds like the best way to determine a sentence. It makes sense for a small island like Tromba, sure, but still."Duly noted," Hatteras replied, before he raised his voice to ask the assembled Pokémon, "Now then, I ask the humble jury, just what should be the sentence for these ruffians?"
My suggestion: hard labour. They help rebuild the damage they caused (under strict supervision, of course) and sleep in a makeshift prison. Once that's taken care of, uuuuh... I'm not sure. The town can ill-afford feeding prisoners for any long period of time. I suppose they could have their sentence run for various years, forced to do menial labour/maintenance work/tending to the fields, and only getting meagre rations? You'd hope that by the end of that they'd be beaten into being civil members of society."J-Just let us go! We won't come back to this island again! E-Ever!" the Ekans cried out as the serpent curled tighter against his bindings into a rough ball.
Kiran: "Did a child just determine the verdict? Is Hatteras going to hand him over the role of Judge, too?" -_-'"It sounds good to me!" a voice called out, before all eyes in the gathering turned towards the direction of a certain white and blue Protector, whose teammates were visibly burying appendages into their faces.
Pleo: "Oh! Can I play with more pokémon as a Judge?"
Kiran: "Gods... please, don't make me have to teach him criminal law next."
Woah--there's teleporters powerful enough to take people that far out? The Cradle's been hinted at being a huge place, and while we don't know its exact size, I would imagine at least something close to the Mediterranean. And unless Tromba's particularly close to one of the edges, that's still a 1000+ kilometres teleportation. Not unreasonable, but still, very impressive."Whelp, that's my verdict. Those of you who wish to go to the Wastes anyways are more than welcome to ask Osmund here to make arrangements with one of his teleporters if you so insist," Hatteras declared.
Oh, this ought to be good."Oh trust me, I'll survive him. I've wrangled my fair share of Fire types before. And I'm sure he'll learn how to find his softer side for younglings… Or else learn to like being a lawn ornament for a few hours at a time," she replied, shooting a frosty glare at the Quilava.
Oh! Oh! Whoever's chosen will become a teammate! I know it's too late, but pleasepicktheGabite pleasepicktheGabite pleasepicktheGa--If only he could convince Hatteras to let him borrow the Trapinch or Gabite from earlier…
Damn it! So close."The doggy!"
Crom: "Awww, I wanted a fellow dragon in the team... Would have made chats with your mami a little less scary, Nida."
Nida: "Bold of you to assume you're even part of the story's main team. Did you even look at the banner?"
Crom: "... 'O_O. P-please don't leave me alone."
Aaaaah, that's what you were referring to in your Rebirth review! Say, Elterios isn't a bad name for a quick cameo at all. Fits into the setting quite well..."The name's Eltenios!" the Growlithe barked proudly. "It means I don't ever, ever give up and-"
You know what? I'm feeling motivated today. Doppia recensione!
Nida: "... Good thing he doesn't know how little of a threat those two are." -.-"And we're here, too!" a purple spike ball proudly declared, puffing his spikes out.
"Yeah, if we have to, we'll make that mutt see stars!" another blue Nidoran added.
Nido(?): "Hey, sis! What did you just say? I couldn't hear."
Nida: "Hm? Nothing, nothing."
... Welp. It might not be "Nido", but it would seem that my hunch on Teja and Marley's naming capacity was on point, ahahaha!"Dorin? Ani? Don't you have work right now?" Nida grumbled, frowning and flattening out her ears.
That first part--Virgil and Fobbie speaking directly to the audience? Nani?! Jokes aside, it was a tiny bit odd to read. The story's been pretty solidly third-person limited so far (although with a certain vice of switching POV character mid-scene for a couple of paragraphs).Oh who are we kidding? Pleo couldn't think of many things at that moment other that he desperately wanted to be anywhere but where that dreadful-sounding voice was coming from.
Hehehe, the benefits of having a Polish neighbour in real life. I do appreciate hearing more languages on a regular basis! Spanish is nice and all, but variety is the spice of life."Aw kurczę-"
Awww, poor Elty, hehe. It's a neat detail to have the audience relate to him, since it's not used very often at all--not in pokémon fiction, at least."And it's fur, not fat!"
I mean... to be fair, he did. Should have listened more closely, Eltenios."Wait, what?!" Elty cried, as his expression hardened into an exasperated scowl that seemed to be doing its hardest to all but bore through Crom's hide.
Aaah, so these exist in this world, too. I wonder how they're mass-produced..."Uh huh! Uh huh! She's supposed to help Pokémon learn moves they normally couldn't with the help of tee-yems!" Crom replied, before he put a claw to his mouth and continued on in a more puzzled tone. "Although... some of them are called eych-ehms for some reason or another."
Oh! Technology! Okay, this explains the fractal cube walls. Perhaps Porygon are a remnant of that bygone age, too. If so, has Melissa been alive since before the humans were wiped out?The Porygon abruptly chirped and gestured excitedly at Elty with her beak, much to the Growlithe's surprise.
Props to you two for such a thoroughly thought-out TM system. It's believable, cool, and betrays hours and hours of brainstorming."That is where I come in," Melissa droned. "Every properly-functioning Porygon instance contains data IO capabilities, including an interface for biodata mass storage."
Hattas: "Tell Melissa to pack up. I'm taking over her position, too."The wizened Ampharos of many trades was a steadfast shepherd for Bluewhorl Town through its trials and tribulations, but what had brought him here?
Kiran: "Wh-what? How?!"
Hattas: "Don't ask. And my professional ambitions won't end here, either..."
(Hattas glances at Crom with malicious intent, who gulps)
Uh-oh. It's the Company, isn't it?"I'm afraid that as fast as Pleo has been progressing towards awakening his true power... That he might be running out of time," the Ampharos sighed, as he rubbed his brow with a free paw.
Careful--wouldn't want to create a 'boy who cried wolf' situation, and have Pleo try playing with the next pirates that come raiding, ahahaha!"But how can we do that?" Kiran demanded. "I mean, if we organized a mock pirate raid… If we succeeded at drawing out Pleo's power, wouldn't we put the volunteers in danger?"
Oh, that's good! I was a bit afraid you'd fast-track his progress here and make it so he wouldn't really be earning his flight. Good call."Everything takes practice, Kiran," Melissa chirped. "Surely you of all Pokémon would understand that."
Great pair of chapters! The overall pacing's still slow, but the characters are vibrant enough, their interactions so genuine, and the hints at the wider world frequent enough that I don't particularly mind. Plus, I doubt that this dungeon crawling will be an end unto itself. I see something important happening on the horizon!