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Pokémon Edgeworth

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
Was originally gonna post this for the oneshot contest, but that sure as hell didn't happen. Just some experimental world building, not even sure how much of it will stick. Thanks to SparklingEspeon for being a sounding board on short turnaround.

Summary: The creation of a mystery dungeon happens slowly, then all at once.


Just beyond my borders is a sign that reads Edgeworth: We Have Come to the Cusps of These Shores. Population: 854.

I am a humble vacation town several miles adjacent highway 31. In winter, I am desolate. Main Street stays closed, restaurants' windows shuttered in enchanted slumber. The vast Lake Tourmaline—eternal companion and bitterest rival—embraces me with a chill gray touch. Black ice lurks in the cracks and crevices of my asphalt streets, of my concrete sidewalks. They spiderweb out from Main Street like capillaries from an artery. Only human children are common during this lean period; they scurry as mice do, to and from their homes toward school.

In summer, I come alive. Main Street awakens. People wearing bright colored clothes meander in and out of vibrant ice cream parlors, kitschy merchandise stores, casual open-air diners. At the corner of Main Street there lies a fudge shop sandwiched between a church and an antique shop. The church is unlike its older brethren across the sea. It has known one set of brick, one set of stone, one set of mortar, and therefore tells only one story. The antique shop used to be a toy store, where stuffed animals dangled from the ceiling with glazed eyes. Now it harbors but dusty relics stolen from the forgotten dead.

Some of the locals who live elsewhere return to their abandoned country homes come summer. Many instead rent them out to tourists, the way one might rent a prostitute. They wear houses like skins then shed them once the week draws to a close. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a popular late-night movie for these folks. I don't understand why they won't stay. Is there something wrong with me?

But I digress: the fudge shop is run by a woman whose daughter drowned in the lake. The undertow along the jetty caught her by the ankle and pulled her under; when the off-duty police officer dove in to save her, he drowned too. Henceforth the local children draw pictures of stick figures trapped in the current, as well as suggestions on how to escape, during summer playground. Their counselors pin them to the bathroom stalls of the beachfront shop, crude crayon faces grinning at tourists loosening their bowels. These stick figures are forever frozen in a candy-colored struggle toward life and freedom. People still drown every couple of years, but they seem to believe it helps.

The woman who runs the fudge shop makes the most remarkable fudge. It is thick and rich, with a variety of flavors such as nutmeg and caramel and mint and pumpkin spice and cranberry and gingerbread and red velvet and maple and tiger butter and key lime pie and hazelnut and creamsicle and peanut butter and butter rum and pecan pie and malt ball. It is like the candy man once said:

"Who could take a sunrise; sprinkle it with dew? And make the world taste good."

The woman who runs the fudge shop also divines fortunes from tarot cards in her spare time. If you're wondering, the answer is yes: I love astrology. I'm a Sagittarius. Her tarot cards are embossed in gold similar to how they once illuminated religious texts. She will clutch them tight in meticulously manicured fingers, smiling over the worn, chipped edge at whoever's fortune she's telling—or sometimes an empty chair, for business has been slow recently. The enlightenment is in and superstition is on the outs.

Wait, I almost forgot my favorite part! At dusk, most everyone gathers on the beach to watch the sun dip below Lake Tourmaline. The water catches flame right at the precarious moment where sun lies trapped between sky and lake, and thunderous applause rings out from those on the beachfront. It's a little strange when you think about it, since this happens every night. I prefer to assume they are instead clapping for me.

Where was I? Oh, yes, right. The woman who runs the fudge shop. Anyway, she looks concerned lately—probably because Mercury Retrograde is fast approaching. Or maybe because she senses the mountain giants starting to move and the fire blossoms preparing to bloom. When the world ends, as it sometimes does, she is sitting in the car, turned on with the garage closed, drinking a bottle of sherry and staring at a picture of her drowned daughter. Her tarot cards are spread out on the dashboard like a poker game while Kate Bush plays on the radio.

I am alone, now.

All that remains are the pictures in the bathroom stalls and shadow-chalk angels staining my concrete sidewalks and stucco walls. Well, that is not strictly true, I suppose, for there is ever Lake Tourmaline. But we speak languages unknowable to one another, and also, they are insufferable. For all intents and purposes, I am now forever desolate.

Bone bleached ash falls in thick flakes for weeks straight. It coats my ice cream parlors and kitschy merchandise stores and casual open-air diners and antique shop and new world church in earth-blooded furs. Vehicles stand immobile in the streets and driveways, muzzled and blinded. I try to keep them safe, keep them whole—especially the fudge shop—but nature persists with a dark apathy.

Time passes, as it often does, in the tide of a trillion tomorrows. I am no longer a town but a graveyard, a reconstituted toy store, and the sun sets to silence. It's peaceful. Peace is good; peace is nice. I am peace and grace and zen. To pass time, I have been working on a eulogy:

"Like most human bodies, most buildings

have full lives, and then they die.

[Revision]

Bodies have lives.

Human buildings.

Like bodies, full, and then.

Most die.

A:

An engineer and a poet lie beneath a bridge. The poet says,
Look how you can see the bats against the sky as an absence of stars. And the engineer says, Flight is only a matter of surface area."

Okay, maybe I stole the eulogy from Alison Tumel. But I'm an ex-town and an expert astrologist, not a poet, so it's hard to compete. I remember her poem because her heels once touched the sidewalk of my streets while her toes dug into the sand along the beach, and because grief, like music, can transcend time and space to connect at a concrete-domed intersection of ought-to's and wherefores.

Let me try again:

Humans are small-minded and stupid. They let their children stand on piers unsupervised and trip and plunge into lakes. Police officers who know how to shoot people in the head with guns but don't understand how currents work throw away their lives for nothing. I hate them and I miss them and I wish they were here. Remember how at night the lights in the houses and the streets and the televisions would turn on? It was as if I became a confection of electric stars strident in the darkness encroaching both above and besides, a galaxy unto myself. Why did you have to leave?

Perhaps the fault of the world ending lies with me.

I never much cared for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, a secret I never before dared to voice aloud. (In the metaphorical sense.) No one ever bothered to ask the factory who they thought should be the successor, which struck me as rather rude—without the factory Willy Wonka is nothing. But in retrospect, the chocolate factory was undoubtedly happy just to be there, even unnoticed and unappreciated, to listen and to be, to be part of something, to exist within a system that brought joy, regardless of whether or not it was recognized as integral to the experience. And because both Wonka and the factory must be narcissists; through soul-twins harmony is found.

But it's not so bad. I have been alone, before everything, and I can be alone again. I still have my sign, meaning I won't forget my name even if everything else falls by the wayside. Names are always important, vertebrae for memories. Also important: there are no endings, except for the heat death of the universe. But that's still billions of years away, which means I'm technically correct. Most endings birth new beginnings.

They began as skinchangers sharing one tree-soul. Formless travelers capable of taking myriad shapes, from fire lizards to snow demons to a frankly absurd number of electric rodent variants. The faces are vastly different but the lights in their eyes are all the same. They call themselves pokémon and I do not care for them.

Humans were weak but clever. Pokémon are strong yet witless. Nature listens to their touch, beckons to their call, stirred at last from indifference by the wheel of Arceus. But they will never create a chocolate factory on their own, and they know nothing of fudge or Mercury Retrograde. They instead stumble idiotically through a world left behind for them and take advantage of echoed genius. As time marches onward, they forgo their skinchanging ways, each settling into their own preferred form.

They pass through my limits on occasion. Bright-eyed and curious, poking around the mausoleum that now entombs the cusp of Lake Tourmaline's shores. At first, I tolerate the trespassers, for they never linger long. But then a group of water monkeys come that do not quickly go. Instead, they show signs of settling down.

Here is where I make a terrible mistake: I display kindness. I wait and see what may happen. I think, perhaps, the lonely part of my turgid soul desires another opportunity to be part of something, even if that something is but pallid imitation of a what has been. Not even Lake Tourmaline speaks with me in their unknowable tongue anymore, seduced by Azelf into servitude.

There is even a brief flicker of hope, when the water monkeys meander onto the beach near sunset. I thought they might clap, might break the silence with applause, but instead they stumble into the bathroom stalls and spot the crayon drawings of long-gone human children. While most vehicles have become rusted sentinels and most homes shuttered shells, I have labored for eons to maintain these drawings in the safe confines of that beachfront shop.

And you know what they do?

Do you?

Those knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing plague-riddled motherFUCKERS tear them down.

It is unacceptable—no, more than that, it is unforgivable. Profane. How dare they? How dare they? Desecraters! Trespassers! Monsters! The only appropriate reaction should be reverence, should be to build a shrine and cast a golden calf and dance madly to a lost people that make them seem little more than hollow mimics in comparison.

They believe they can spit upon the ghosts of my past and transform me into one of their own? I cannot, will not, allow it. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Know that if there is no truth, my hatred remains true as the sacred soil men once knelt upon in deference; even if the rest of the universe is mutable, my hatred will endure perpetual until time dies and space collapses.

There's no earthly way of knowing which direction they are going there's no knowing where they're rowing or which way the lake is flowing. Is it raining. Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing are the fires of hell a-glowing is the grisly Reaper mowing—

Yes! The danger must be growing, the sins have come home to roost, and I, Edgeworth, hereby declare this land salted by mine own regret. Who are they to stop me? I stem from an era of domination and domination they shall now know. They might bow and scrape and kowtow and pray for salvation, but when their knees kiss the pavement, they will instead uncover a hall of mirrors and an unlife that stretches out unbroken before them, severed from the wheel.

Yes. Yes, good. Undying, they will continue on forever trapped, husks that exist but have forgotten what it means to live, forever on the brink of starvation or dehydration or both, or neither, driven mad by me. Me, Edgeworth! Food will turn to dust in their mouths and water into sludge; they may try to subsist on their own urine and excrement until that too dwindles away. If they kill themselves, I will revive them smooth as newborn babes, and death will be no respite, nor its kin sleep. When they feast upon each other, they will choke on the parched dust of their own demise, as if spurs were lodged in their withered throats. They shall forget the taste of honeysuckle dreams.

Here I pervert nature, bring about antipathy, call upon the deliberate cruelty of humanity to drive all rational thought rabid with incomprehensible, transcendent rage. I will forge terrors that would break even Sisyphus, turn him into one none could imagine happy. I will be both the maze and the minotaur at its center. And still I yet persevere.

I will break them. I will make them my mad little gods. I will turn them against their brethren. So be afraid, for I am against you; be dismayed, for I am Edgeworth; I will drag you down with a vengeful hand. Any pokémon that spies the words Edgeworth: We Have Come to the Cusps of These Shores. Population: 854 should weep, for it is too late. They have already reckoned with ruin.
 
Last edited:

Adamhuarts

Mew specialist
Partners
  1. mew-adam
  2. celebi-shiny
  3. roserade-adam
Here for Vwheel! Sorry for being late with this one even though I'd actually read it a couple days ago. Anyways, let's jump right in.


To start off, I actually read through this story without even looking at the summary or synopsis. This had the funny outcome of me having different assumptions on what was going on during different points of my readthrough. At first I thought the narrator was going to be revealed to be a legendary pokemon, then I thought it was actually a non-poke fic but about some original land god, and then I went 'oh so it's about pokemon' when the pokemon started to show up.


I think I like the way this story is written, and I much enjoyed the narrative. The little glimpses the narrator shares about the town and its people made the place actually feel alive and made me want to visit wherever town it was. What also helped with this is that the town has quite the personality. It likes things such as astrology, and you can almost feel sad for the town when it wonders why people leave or just rent out their homes to tourists.


And then at the end it is revealed that something must have happened and now all the humans are basically gone. The town is lonely and forgotten, and eventually makes the mistake of letting pokemon wander in. Of course, this leads to the pokemon unwittingly breaking things that housed fond memories for the town, which led to Edgeworth getting angery and transforming into a mystery dungeon.


Overall this was a short and decent read. It's not every day you see a story centered around a usually inanimate existence, and I liked this depiction of how a mystery dungeon forms.
 

Spiteful Murkrow

Busy Writing Stories I Want to Read
Pronouns
He/Him/His
Partners
  1. nidoran-f
  2. druddigon
  3. swellow
  4. quilava-fobbie
  5. sneasel-kate
  6. heliolisk-fobbie
Heya, starting this one up since I did say that I'd get a review out for this during the kerfuffle following the initial roll of Halloween V-Wheel offsite. I was a bit beat while putting the initial review together, and find myself in a similar position tonight, so something short and sweet like this story feels right up my alley for reviewing:

Just beyond my borders is a sign that reads Edgeworth: We Have Come to the Cusps of These Shores. Population: 854.

Oh, so "Edgeworth" is the name of a town in this setting. I kept thinking of the AA character from the title, but adjusting expectations accordingly.

I am a humble vacation town several miles adjacent highway 31. In winter, I am desolate. Main Street stays closed, restaurants' windows shuttered in enchanted slumber. The vast Lake Tourmaline—eternal companion and bitterest rival—embraces me with a chill gray touch. Black ice lurks in the cracks and crevices of my asphalt streets, of my concrete sidewalks. They spiderweb out from Main Street like capillaries from an artery. Only human children are common during this lean period; they scurry as mice do, to and from their homes toward school.

... Wait, we're going to see a mystery dungeon form in a mainline world? Can't say I was expecting that one, but let's see where this goes.

In summer, I come alive. Main Street awakens. People wearing bright colored clothes meander in and out of vibrant ice cream parlors, kitschy merchandise stores, casual open-air diners. At the corner of Main Street there lies a fudge shop sandwiched between a church and an antique shop. The church is unlike its older brethren across the sea. It has known one set of brick, one set of stone, one set of mortar, and therefore tells only one story. The antique shop used to be a toy store—where stuffed animals dangled from the ceiling with glazed eyes. Now it harbors but dusty relics stolen from the forgotten dead.

... Wait, this town itself is the Mystery Dungeon, isn't it? Though that last line is certainly very
:copyka2:


Some of the locals who live elsewhere return to their abandoned country homes come summer. Many instead rent them out to tourists, the way one might rent a prostitute. They wear houses like skins then shed them once the week draws to a close. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a popular late-night movie for these folks. I don't understand why they won't stay. Is there something wrong with me?

:fearfullaugh~1:


I can already tell that this is going to get really creepy really fast.

But I digress: the fudge shop is run by a woman whose daughter drowned in the lake. The undertow along the jetty caught her by the ankle and pulled her under; when the off-duty police officer dove in to save her, he drowned too. Henceforth the local children draw pictures of stick figures trapped in the current, as well as suggestions on how to escape, during summer playground. Their counselors pin them to the bathroom stalls of the beachfront shop, crude crayon faces grinning at tourists loosening their bowels. These stick figures are forever frozen in a candy-colored struggle toward life and freedom. People still drown every couple of years, but they seem to believe it helps.

... Oh, so the town itself is already trapped inside this Mystery Dungeon, huh? Though that's ominous as hell how everyone who goes too far out just gets sucked away into the abyss. Or at least I think that's the implication. .-.

The woman who runs the fudge shop makes the most remarkable fudge. It is thick and rich, with a variety of flavors such as nutmeg and caramel and mint and pumpkin spice and cranberry and gingerbread and red velvet and maple and tiger butter and key lime pie and hazelnut and creamsicle and peanut butter and butter rum and pecan pie and malt ball. It is like the candy man once said:

"Who could take a sunrise; sprinkle it with dew? And make the world taste good."

... I can't tell whether or not this town is already inside the Mystery Dungeon or not, since if the fudge shop can still stay stocked...

Though then again, I remember how things worked in Pizza with a Slice of Pain. If Mystery Dungeons here work like they did there, there is exactly zero guarantee that any of this is real.

The woman who runs the fudge shop also divines fortunes from tarot cards in her spare time. If you're wondering, the answer is yes: I love astrology. I'm a Sagittarius. Her tarot cards are embossed in gold similar to how they once illuminated religious texts, though no monks were locked away to complete this set. She will clutch them tight in meticulously manicured fingers, smiling over the worn, chipped edge at whoever's fortune she's telling—or sometimes an empty chair, for practice makes perfect.

... The narrator is the Mystery Dungeon, isn't it?

Wait, I almost forgot my favorite part! At dusk, most everyone gathers on the beach to watch the sun dip below Lake Tourmaline. The water catches flame right at the precarious moment where sun lies trapped between sky and lake, and thunderous applause rings out from those on the beachfront. It's a little strange when you think about it, since this happens every night. I prefer to assume they are instead clapping for me.

Yeeeeeeah, this is absolutely written from the perspective of the Mystery Dungeon here.

Where was I? Oh, yes, right. The woman who runs the fudge shop. Anyway, she looks concerned lately—probably because Mercury Retrograde is fast approaching. Or maybe because she senses the mountain giants starting to move and the fire blossoms preparing to bloom. When the world ends, as it sometimes does, she is sitting in the car, turned on with the garage closed, drinking a bottle of sherry and staring at a picture of her drowned daughter, tarot cards spread out on the dashboard like a poker game while Kate Bush plays on the radio.

I am alone, now.

... Well that got dark incredibly quickly. So this MD periodically reboots its simulation, and during every loop, there's just this one lady who winds up committing suicide from grief again and again. That's... certainly quite a mood there.
:ohnowen:


All that remains are the pictures in the bathroom stalls and shadow-chalk angels staining my concrete sidewalks and stucco walls. Well, that is not strictly true, I suppose, for there is ever Lake Tourmaline. But we speak languages unknowable to one another, and also they are insufferable. For all intents and purposes, I am now forever desolate.

... Lake Tourmaline is another Mystery Dungeon, isn't it?

Bone bleached ash falls in thick flakes for weeks straight. It coats my ice cream parlors and kitchy merchandise stores and casual open-air diners and antique shop and church in earth-blooded furs. Vehicles stand immobile in the streets and driveways, muzzled and blinded. I try to keep them safe, keep them whole—especially the fudge shop—but nature persists with a dark apathy.

Time passes, as it often does, in the tide of a trillion tomorrows. I am no longer a town but a graveyard, a reconstituted toy store, and the sun sets to silence. It's peaceful. Peace is good; peace is nice. I am peace and grace and zen. To pass time, I have been working on a eulogy:

So straight-up ash instead of snow, huh? Though I wonder what's with the apocalyptic bent that this MD has a habit of taking.

"Like most human bodies, most buildings

have full lives, and then they die.

[Revision]

Bodies have lives.

Human buildings.

Like bodies, full, and then.

Most die.

... Is the '[Revision]' there supposed to be present, or is that a leftover from note-taking? Since it stood out a bit but I couldn't tell if that was deliberate or not.

A:

An engineer and a poet lie beneath a bridge. The poet says, Look how you can see the bats against the sky as an absence of stars. And the engineer says, Flight is only a matter of surface area."

Okay, maybe I stole the eulogy from Alison Tumel. But I'm an ex-town and an expert astrologist, not a poet, so it's hard to compete. I remember her poem because her heels once touched the sidewalk of my streets while her toes dug into the sand along the beach, and because grief, like music, can transcend time and space to connect at a concrete-domed intersection of ought-to's and wherefores.

... So this place absorbs the memories of the people that used to be here, huh? Boy is that unsettling.
:uhhh:


Let me try again:

Humans are small-minded and stupid. They let their children stand on piers unsupervised and trip and plunge into lakes. Police officers who know how to shoot people in the head with guns but don't understand how currents work throw away their lives for nothing. I hate them and I miss them and I wish they were here. Remember how at night the lights in the houses and the streets and the televisions would turn on? It was as if I became a confection of electric stars strident in the darkness encroaching both above and besides, a galaxy unto myself. Why did you leave?

Perhaps the fault of the world ending lies with me.

I'm wondering if that's just Edgeworth the narrator is talking about, or if this same process has been repeated throughout the world beyond it.

I never much cared for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, a secret I never before dared to voice aloud. (In the metaphorical sense.) No one ever bothered to ask the factory who they thought should be the successor, which struck me as rather rude—without the factory Willy Wonka is nothing. But in retrospect, the chocolate factory was undoubtedly happy just to be there, even unnoticed and unappreciated, to listen and to be, to be part of something, to exist within a system that brought joy, regardless of whether or not it was recognized as integral to the experience. And because both Wonka and the factory must be narcissists: through soul-twins harmony is found.

But it's not so bad. I have been alone, before everything, and I can be alone again. I still have my sign, meaning I won't forget my name even if everything else falls by the wayside. Names are always important, a vertebrae for memories. Also important: there are no endings, except for the heat death of the universe. But that's still billions of years away, which means I'm technically correct. Most endings birth new beginnings.

Wait, so what new beginning was birthed by the end of Edgeworth, then? Considering how this is labeled as a 'Pokémon' story, was this how humanity went out in this setting?

They began as skinchangers sharing one tree-soul. Formless travelers capable of taking myriad shapes, from fire lizards to snow demons to a frankly absurd number of electric rodent variants. The faces are vastly different but the lights in their eyes are all the same. They call themselves pokémon. I do not care for them.

Yeah, I figured that that was where things were going. Though a "tree-soul" huh? Not sure what that is meant to reference. Are these specifically human-turned-Pokémon that are being encountered here?

Humans were weak but clever. Pokémon are strong yet witless. Nature listens to their touch, beckons to their call, stirred at last from indifference by the wheel of Arceus. But they will never create a chocolate factory on their own, and they know nothing of fudge or Mercury Retrograde. They instead stumble idiotically through a world left behind for them and take advantage of echoed genius. As time marches onward, they forgo their skinchanging ways, each settling into their own preferred form.

Oh, so this is basically describing the origins of Pokémon from Mew, huh? Since "skinchanging" implies that these first Pokémon were regularly shifting between forms... which is pretty Mew there.

They pass through my limits on occasion. Bright-eyed and curious, poking around the mausoleum that now entombs the cusp of Lake Tourmaline's shores. At first, I tolerate the trespassers, for they never linger long. But then a group of water monkeys come that do not quickly go. Instead, they show signs of settling down.

Edgeworth: "... Pls no."
:TailsEww:


Here is where I make a terrible mistake: I display grace. I wait and see what may happen. I think, perhaps, the lonely part of my turgid soul desires another opportunity to be part of something, even if that something is but a pallid imitation of what had been. Not even Lake Tourmaline speaks with me in their unknowable tongue anymore, seduced by Azelf into servitude.

:wtfuckle:


Boy is that a creepy vibe. Though I suppose it's only logical that if MDs are living beings of their own that they can at least in theory be controlled and cajoled into doing the bidding of others.

There is even a brief flicker of hope, when the water monkeys meander onto the beach near sunset. I thought they might clap, might break the silence, but instead they stumble into the bathroom stalls and spot the crayon drawings of long-gone human children. While most vehicles have become rusted sentinels and most homes shuttered shells, I have labored for eons to maintain these drawings in the safe confines of that beachfront shop.

And those knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing plague-riddled motherFUCKERS tear them down.

That... is not a good omen for how those Simipour and/or Panpour are going to fare.
:fearfullaugh~1:


It is unacceptable—no, more than that, it is unforgivable. Profane. How dare they? How dare they? Desecraters! Trespassers! Monsters! The only appropriate reaction should be reverence, should be to build a shrine and cast a golden calf and dance madly to a lost people that make them seem little more than hollow mimics in comparison.

Edgeworth... is going to make them do that, isn't it? Since I remember the effects the MD in Pizza with a Slice of Pain had on the Pokémon in it.

They believe they can spit upon the ghosts of my past and transform me into one of their own? I cannot, will not, allow it. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Know that if there is no truth, my hatred will remain true as the sacred soil men once knelt upon in deference; even if the rest of the universe is mutable, my hatred will endure perpetual until time dies and space collapses.

And thus Edgeworth became one of those MDs that knocks you back to Level 5 and Tackle as your only known move.

There's no earthly way of knowing which direction they are going there's no knowing where they're rowing or which way the lake is flowing. Is it raining. Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing so the danger must be growing are the fires of hell a-glowing is the grisly Reaper mowing—

Yes! The danger must be growing, the sins have come home to roost, and I, Edgeworth, hereby declare this land salted by mine own regret. Who are they to stop me? I stem from an era of domination and domination they shall now know. They may bow and scrape and kowtow and pray for salvation, but when their knees kiss the pavement, they will instead find a hall of mirrors and an unlife that stretches out unbroken before them, severed from the wheel.

... Somebody's having a normal one right now.
:ScaredCabot:


Yes. Yes, good. Undying, they will continue on forever trapped, husks that exist but have forgotten what it means to live, forever on the brink of starvation or dehydration or both, driven mad by me. Me, Edgeworth! Food will turn to dust in their mouths and water into sludge; they may try to subsist on their own urine and excrement until that too dwindles away. If they kill themselves, I will revive them smooth as newborn babes, and death will be no respite, nor its kin sleep. When they feast upon each other, they will choke on parched dust of their own demise, as if a spur lodged in their withered throats. They will forget the taste of honeysuckle dreams.

Oh, so Edgeworth is creating Dungeon Madness out of spite of losing its last treasured pieces of the past. That's more than a little creepy there. .-.

Here I pervert nature, bring about antipathy, call upon the deliberate cruelty of humanity to drive all rational thought rabid with the incomprehensible rage of grief. I will forge mundane terrors that would break even Sisyphus, turn him into one none could imagine happy. I will be both the maze and the minotaur at its center. And still I yet persevere.

I will break them. I will make them my mad little gods. I will turn them against their brethren. So be afraid, for I am against you; be dismayed, for I am Edgeworth; I will drag you down with a vengeful hand. Any pokémon that spies the words Edgeworth: We Have Come to the Cusps of These Shores. Population: 854 should weep, for it is too late. They have already reckoned with ruin.

What a lovely town! /s

And onto the summary:

Well that was quite a trip there. I'm not sure whether or not this shares a setting with Pizza with a Slice of Pain but either way, it's a fascinating and terrifying look at the other side of Mystery Dungeons as Genius Loci. I'm... honestly not sure if I've ever read another story that took this angle, so congrats on making something that stands out, and manages to feel like a complete story in the span of less than 3000 words.

I don't have too much to complain about, but if there's one thing that I would level as a complaint, it's that it can be a bit hard to follow things sometimes since things get a bit trippy. Like from some of the dialogue earlier on in the story, I thought that Edgeworth had time-looping properties of some sort, but it turns out that that's just the arrival of the (latest) apocalypse that knocks off humanity. I'm admittedly not fully sure what to suggest on that front, since the trippy vibe lends itself well to the premise of an alien intelligence. Though considering how short the piece is overall, perhaps it's not the end of the world for a couple bits to be confusing. Things wind up shaking out to be clear enough by the end, and it definitely makes things read different while looking back.

Though thanks for the read @zion of arcadia . A bit unsettling, but it was definitely a piece that stuck out. Kinda regret not reading this one in time for Halloween, since it would've been an amazing story for that time of year, which I suppose goes hand-in-hand with the date you uploaded it.

Hope the feedback was helpful, and best of luck with your writings. ^^
 

Ambyssin

Gotta go back. Back to the past.
Location
Residency hell
Pronouns
he/him
Partners
  1. silvally-dragon
  2. necrozma-ultra
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. dreepy
  6. mewtwo-ambyssin
Hello! This is doubling as both a Blitzmas present and the WU Secret Santa review.

I wasn't exactly sure what to expect from this title (aside from Ace Attorney references), but the first few lines makes it quite clear to me this is a xenoPOV from the perspective of... a town itself. An original locale created for this, by the sound of it. Edgeworth's tagline reminds me of the signs pokémon town names would have (can't remember if they still have them). I like how the second and third paragraph start out peaceful and innocent enough with their descriptions, before adding some oddly mature descriptors like comparing streets to capillaries and calling the antiques relics of the forgotten dead. Which segways into the prostitutes comparison that cements Edgeworth as a bitter narrator of sorts.

Yet despite that setup, I am still surprised by the dark humor that comes with recounting the fate of the fudge shop's daughter. Mentioning a cop drowning too is bad enough, but then you have the added wham of kids drawing pictures of this stuff and it getting pinned up. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny in an absurdist way or recoil at the shock of it. Perhaps both? I think it's the former, given you zag back toward something sillier by having Edgeworth list out all the fudge flavors in a run on sentence. Edgeworth has a nice, witty voice and I like the personification you give it with the astrology stuff. Makes the town feel like a person I'd be talking to in a cafe—

Which makes the sudden world ending stuff that abruptly happens right after a rather shocking swerve. I'm not surprised at how casual Edgeworth acts about given how it was talking previously. I like your decision to use the fudge shop owner's suicide as the sort of anchor point for the end of this realm of humanity, since Edgeworth had focused on her for all the paragraphs leading up to it, while the rest of it is summed up in the single "I'm alone, now."

I'm unsure if the bone bleached ash is a reference to, say, a supervolcano eruption that creates a sort of nuclear winter by choking the skies with ash or if this is, like, an effect of Yveltal claiming all life at the end of the world. Though I do like the sort of descent into madness that starts to follow, with Edgeworth's attempted eulogy getting sidetracked by the most bizarre (but appropriate for an ex-town, I guess) analysis of Willy Wonka I've ever read. I wonder how difficult it was for you to write it.

I'll confess that when pokémon are finally mentioned is when I realized there was a summary here and that it has to do with the creation of a mystery dungeon and that dungeon will be Edgeworth. Though I can't say for certain if this is when the transformation actually happens or if the first sets of pokémon dropping by are just passing through a town. Or perhaps it is a dungeon, but it's "stable." The mention of bypassing limits and temporary staying makes me think dungeon, but it's vague. Intentionally, I imagine.

It's abundantly clear the transformation has happened when the water monkeys (panpour and simipour?) appear and the calm, straightlaced voice we've followed abruptly starts to curse them out. (Nice F-bomb for emphasis, btw.) The vitriol is abundantly clear in the prose and you describe in creative detail how Edgeworth will create a set of dungeon pokémon. It's as frightening as it is powerful.

Anyway, hope this is what you were looking for. It's a great peace and thank you for sharing it!
 

love

Memento mori
Pronouns
he/him/it
Partners
  1. leafeon
I don't think I have ever read a story from the perspective of a town before. Edgeworth was a sympathetic character, I thought, until it wasn't. By the end of the story, the pity I felt for it had been thoroughly overshadowed by pity for the pokemon. The golden calf allusion suggests to me that even Edgeworth itself recognizes, on some level, the irrationality of its reaction.

I'm still left wondering about the nature of pokemon by the end of the story. Edgeworth portrays them as brutes, but I have to imagine its opinion is biased. "They call themselves pokemon"—does that mean they can speak? Did they tear the drawings down out of contempt for humanity or just because they could? Edgeworth describes them as bright-eyed and curious, terms with innocent connotations. Do they not perhaps understand and enjoy the world in their own way? If so, Edgeworth is unwilling and maybe unable to understand it, just as it is unwilling or unable to understand Lake Tourmaline. The lake and pokemon both embody nature; perhaps a town is too artificial to appreciate them.

Overall, this is a chilling read, perfect for Halloween.
 

zion of arcadia

too much of my own quietness is with me
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. marowak-alola
@Ambyssin This is the second time I've made an inadvertent reference to a well-known video game. It was even more incidental here, though, because I've actually never played an Ace Attorney game. Might need to make it my gimmick. The daughter drowning and pictures in the bathroom is loosely based off a story I heard once from some friends. I live near a lake, as you probably know, and have heard a few about drowning. The pictures bit was so strange, almost grotesque, when I found out about it, that it partially inspired this story. The idea of tragedy conveyed in a crayon-coated gloss... it really sat with me.

I debated how much to reference any sort of apocalyptic event, as it was always intended to be vague. That part was almost cut, but I worried people wouldn't realize the world had actually ended or something along those lines, given how distant the narration is from it. The Willy Wonka bit wasn't too difficult, as I've written analysis on the movie before and also recently watched an essay about Wonka functioning as a trickster god, which I found interesting.

Where to actual transformation begins and ends is definitely meant to be ambiguous. That slow slide only for everything to hit at once--definitely what I was aiming for. Thanks for the review!

@love I'm not sure Edgeworth is capable of true introspection, but the golden calf analogy is one of the closest points they get to it, sure. Yep, the pokémon are portrayed through a biased lens. Very, very biased. The innocence and child-like nature of pokémon stems both from how young they are to Edgeworth and how they're often written in stories. I would say they messed with the drawings out of ignorance, mostly--or at least, that's one of the reasons why it upset Edgeworth so much. I'm glad you picked up on the conflict between artifice and nature, because it was intentional if understated. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
 
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windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partners
  1. sneasel-nip
  2. bidoof
  3. absol
  4. kirlia
  5. windskull-bidoof
  6. little-guy-windskull
  7. purugly
  8. mawile
Hi Zion! Jumping in for your catnip review! This might be a little rambly, but I hope its enjoyable, regardless.

You mention that this is an experimental piece, and I can immediately see where you’re coming from. I love the idea of having an unusual perspectives that one wouldn’t think of, and “from the perspective of a town turned mystery dungeon is definitely one of the more unique ones I’ve seen, but definitely not bad!

Based on your comment, I also got the vibe that this was originally for the mischief and malice contest. But I like that the dungeon doesn’t feel evil, really. Maybe a little malicious and angry, sure, but not evil. I think it’s pretty neat that you’ve managed to personify it enough to give it feelings. It feels like it has genuine sadness for the people it lost, and the memories it’s trying to preserve. It builds up this vibe of someone grieving for those it held dear, lashing out at people that just can’t understand how important the things they left behind are.

I feel like this story starts off relatively lighthearted. Edgeworth gives this explanation of what they are that straddles the line between impersonal and personal, almost like a scene where a human character would describe their appearance. It becomes more personal as it goes on, and you get more of a vibe for how the town feels about itself and its inhabitants. Yet there are little things that make it seem just a bit off. Like when it describes the toy store turned antique store. Then you get to the part where it mentions the people that drowned. It and the events that followed gives the reader a chance to establish a connection with Edgeworth and helps explain the way it behaves later. Of course, the big turning point is when all the humans die off. The specific details are left unsaid, but I think the implication was some sort of nuclear fallout? That’s what the description reminds me of, at least.

I’m not sure what else I have to say. This is a bit of a strange review for me, but this is a strange story. Though I don’t mean that in a bad way – I quite enjoyed it! It was fun to read something really different for a change. I hope this review is some form of useful!
 

Arukona

A Scribe Penning His Brainworms
Location
Ardalion
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. aggron
  2. sceptile
Given that the theme for this week of Blitz 2022 is about oneshots, I figured I’d see the oneshots on offer, and this one caught my eye, not least because of its Ace Attorney sounding title. (Of course, from what I’m aware this oneshot has nothing to do with that.)

Let’s get into it.

—-

Firstly, the personification of the town as if it’s a living thing is a very nice touch, making this quite unique from most things I’ve read. This is very interesting; the way it observes the behaviour of the humans that dwell in it and that come to visit.
Is there something wrong with me?
This gives off an almost timid vibe to me, as if the town almost believes it’s their fault they’re unattractive. As a whole, really, the feeling of desolation seeps in, even with the odd exceptions like the fudge shop woman and the people who come to watch the sunset.

The omens are also a nice touch, with Mercury Retrograde incoming and the fudge shop woman’s tarot cards foreseeing bad times ahead. It’s a foreshadowing to darker happenings later in the fic. And I always love a bit of foreshadowing in a story.
I hate them and I miss them and I wish they were here.
It’s as if Edgeworth knows that without people, it will not be lively, despite his utter contempt for humans. I really like this contrast of emotion in the same sentence.

There’s quite a bit of leapfrogging with emotion with Edgeworth, taking on conflict one minute with the humans not inhabiting it, righteousness the next when describing how nature will kill off humans while it lives on, and then to furious anger in description of what the ‘water monkeys’ do to the town. That in turn leads to vows of vengeance for how humanity desecrated. It captures righteous fury at humans for their actions quite well; another example of ‘nature hating humanity’ (well, not quite nature, given Edgeworth was built by man).

And boy does it get dark in the last part, with the actions of the ‘water monkeys’ like a trigger for Edgeworth to turn the place into a living hell that none can escape. Beginning to see how the Mystery Dungeon part ties into this. A Mystery Dungeon born of hatred, and we certainly feel that absolute revulsion for the inhabitants. Being both ‘the maze and the minotaur’ describes it aptly, and Edgeworth has descended into madness: as mad as the maze it has created.

This was definitely a very interesting read: I can’t say I’ve read something like this in Pokémon fanfiction. Quite unique, and a great use of literary devices (even if I wouldn’t be the best at noting each one of them down). The idea of having Edgeworth, the town, anthropomorphised was an intriguing concept right from the start, and really helped to craft this story. A Mystery Dungeon being crafted in this way is definitely something I don't think I've seen done elsewhere.

You did a good job with this one. :)
 

Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
  2. dratini-pen
  3. dratini-pen2
Fic about the creation of a mystery dungeon :eyes:

Edgeworth had a very distinctive voice, by turns solemn and by turns silly. I think it was some of the more joking asides (like being a Sagittarius), then whiplashing back to the tragedy of the fudge shop owner's suicide and the drowned children, that sold our narrator as a being that is fundamentally not human. All these things happen, and Edgeworth is interested in them, cares, but more in the way that you care about pets or characters, wanting to see what happens next. There's never really empathy, only its facsimile.

I also found telling Edgeworth's interpretation of people clapping at the sunset each evening. It's an acknowledgement of nature, but Edgeworth doesn't like nature, and so doesn't understand it. Lake Tourmaline is nature and Lake Tourmaline is bad company. It's interesting, too, that while humans are there, the lake seems to be their greatest source of danger. But when the water monkeys come, who will probably not face the threat of drowning, that's when the town itself transforms into the threat. I've always tended to think of mystery dungeons as a kind of rebellion by nature; it's fascinating to see the opposite take--the rebellion of civilization. The Willy Wonka factory comparison is quite apt, considering that the factory basically swallows up all these children, though Roald Dalh always tows the line on how much horror go into his children's story. (Have you read Skin? My god, that man had a messed up mind when unleashed.)

There's aways been a quiet creepiness to how the lingering vestiges of human civilization play into the PMD verse and this takes that creepiness and runs with it. Edgeworth's ending monologue was wonderful, so spittingly full of loathing and spite. I guess as an ending note, there's something deeply sad in how the only way Edgeworth can concieve of honoring the previous inhabitants is madness, worship, and violence. The narration lovingly sketched out these small but complex lives, but in the end I'm not sure Edgeworth was able to understand them any better than the pokemon now taking residence within its borders.

The horror that comes from your environment turning against you reminded me of the end of Caryl Churchill's Far Away. In Zion style, I'll close with a quote:

"Who's going to mobilise darkness and silence? That's what I wondered at night. By the third day I could hardly walk but I got down to the river. [...] But I didn't know whose side the river was on, it might help me swim or it might drown me. In the middle the current was running much faster, the water was brown, I didn't know if that meant anything. I stood on the bank a long time. But I knew it was my only way of getting here so at last I put one foot in the river. It was very cold but so far that was all. When you've just stepped in you can't tell what's going to hap- pen. The water laps around your ankles in any case.”

I am a humble vacation town several miles adjacent highway 31.
Super small point, but I'm not sure adjacent + noun works? Think it would be 'adjacent too' or maybe 'off of' more colloquially.

Black ice lurks in the cracks and crevices of my asphalt streets, of my concrete sidewalks. They spiderweb out from Main Street like capillaries from an artery.
Think these two sentences might actually work better connected.

It has known one set of brick, one set of stone, one set of mortar, and therefore tells only one story.
I might add another only at the start. When I read brick, then stone, I thought these were different casings it's had, and didn't realize until I hit the only at the end.

Some of the locals who live elsewhere return to their abandoned country homes come summer. Many instead rent them out to tourists, the way one might rent a prostitute.
Not sure the prostitute comparison does much here.

But I digress: the fudge shop is run by a woman whose daughter drowned in the lake.
Love the abruptness of the tone switch here.

If you're wondering, the answer is yes: I love astrology. I'm a Sagittarius.
Again--the tone shift caught me off guard to great effect.

All that remains are the pictures in the bathroom stalls and shadow-chalk angels staining my concrete sidewalks and stucco walls. Well, that is not strictly true, I suppose, for there is ever Lake Tourmaline. But we speak languages unknowable to one another, and also, they are insufferable. For all intents and purposes, I am now forever desolate.
I like the line this walks between pathos and melodrama.

Let me try again:

Humans are small-minded and stupid.
I mean, fair!

No one ever bothered to ask the factory who they thought should be the successor, which struck me as rather rude—without the factory Willy Wonka is nothing.
Was not expecting a personified town to analyze Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but it fits!

It is unacceptable—no, more than that, it is unforgivable. Profane. How dare they? How dare they? Desecraters! Trespassers! Monsters! The only appropriate reaction should be reverence, should be to build a shrine and cast a golden calf and dance madly to a lost people that make them seem little more than hollow mimics in comparison.
I liked how you used short exclamations and then that really long sentence to convey Edgeworth's rage.

Yes. Yes, good. Undying, they will continue on forever trapped, husks that exist but have forgotten what it means to live, forever on the brink of starvation or dehydration or both, or neither, driven mad by me. Me, Edgeworth! Food will turn to dust in their mouths and water into sludge; they may try to subsist on their own urine and excrement until that too dwindles away. If they kill themselves, I will revive them smooth as newborn babes, and death will be no respite, nor its kin sleep. When they feast upon each other, they will choke on the parched dust of their own demise, as if a spur were lodged in their withered throats. They shall forget the taste of honeysuckle dreams.

Here I pervert nature, bring about antipathy, call upon the deliberate cruelty of humanity to drive all rational thought rabid with incomprehensible, transcendent rage. I will forge mundane terrors that would break even Sisyphus, turn him into one none could imagine happy. I will be both the maze and the minotaur at its center. And still I yet persevere.

I will break them. I will make them my mad little gods. I will turn them against their brethren. So be afraid, for I am against you; be dismayed, for I am Edgeworth; I will drag you down with a vengeful hand. Any pokémon that spies the words Edgeworth: We Have Come to the Cusps of These Shores. Population: 854 should weep, for it is too late. They have already reckoned with ruin.
Amazing ending monologue. The bit about reviving them even when they die is shiver-inducing.
 
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