Pokémon Death Is Lonely

[Pen]

Back for the final part!

I'm not sure what I was expecting from Arceus. I suppose I had expected that some of the larger issues unearthed in this fic would be put on the table, namely that there's something a bit messed up with this constant divine back and forth, and the strain it's putting on the mortals. But instead we pretty much get Xerneas and Yveltal whining. I get the sense that we're meant to read Arceus as being secretly sympathetic to them, and giving them a "punishment" that lets them be together. But it's not like they were forbidden to see each other before, was it? I didn't feel like that resolution resolved much.

I was kind of taken aback by Xerneas' choice to just let the "illegal" resurrections stay as is, particularly the one that was Yveltal's mistake. Do these rules matter, or not? Do they actually mean something, or is it just an arbitrary decision by Arceus? Are they not worried that if they keep flouting regulation Arceus will do something worse to them, or have they worked out that he's all bark no bite?

The moment with the sawsbuck was touching. It's always nice when stories point out that death can be a blessing in some circumstances. I was a bit confused, though, because previously I thought it had been established that unwilling souls couldn't be brought back, which would keep this situation from occurring. And per your explanation, Yveltal also isn't actually the one tasked with bringing death to pokemon--her job is limited to vegetation and fighting blight--so this didn't quite fit for me as a situation that makes Yveltal appreciated. Still seems like Xerneas and Yveltal could use that public relations specialist.

For a fic about people swapping bodies and roles, I was a bit surprised to feel at the end like nobody had really learned anything. When Xerneas and Yveltal start breaking down in front of Arceus, they're still talking in the same way they talked at the start of the fic, and Arceus' solutions doesn't seem to do much more than increase their codependency even more. It doesn't really address the central issue of how divine powers of life and death should be used, and who gets to decide that.

Always fun to read more Xerneas/Yveltal fic. I think my favorite part was number three, where is felt like Xerneas and Yveltal were really grappling with the conundrums of their powers, their duty, and their responsibility to other pokemon, the overall order, and themselves.

Spoiler: line-by-lines

“I can’t revive someone just like that,” Xerneas said a little too quickly. “It’s already been a whole day, hasn’t it? The body must be…”

I was rereading to make sure I remembered this plot point correctly and noticed Yveltal is called Xerneas here.

Cold, white marble chilled Yveltal’s wings. The only sense of warmth she had was from the blue, furry body cozied up against her back.

The similarity of "cold, white" "blue, furry" in structure made these opening sentences feel a little repetitive.

Something felt correct, yet wrong, like there was a disconnect in what had happened earlier.

This is pretty vague. The simile is sort of saying, it felt like something was wrong, like something was wrong.

She was in the right body again. And, therefore…

“Urgh…” Xerneas tried to move his legs, but they were underneath Yveltal.

This reads as if it's from Xerneas' POV for a moment.

But it was clear that the amount of irritation Arceus chose to display here was intentionally less than his true ire.

This feels unnecessarily wordy.

Everything was bright, aside from the dark glare given by Arceus’ green and red eyes.

A glare "given by" eyes is a pretty awkward/unidiomatic construction.

“I am death. I am supposed to be indifferent and decisive. I am the end. I am inevitable. And I… can’t uphold that.” She looked down. “Not when I also need companionship.”

She isn't death, though. Like, she's explicitly not the one who ends pokemon's lives. Her being near pokemon doesn't instantly kill them. If anything, Xerneas is the one who should be indifferent and alone, since if he's too sentimental, he has the power to undo death. In contrast, Yveltal can't stop people from dying even if she wants to, so why does her job require indifference?

But… I think I actually do like their company, in some… twisted way. At least, after the way you felt, there was… there was this emptiness

I couldn't follow what Xerneas was saying/implying in this last bit.

Who doesn’t love life?”

Yveltal was ready to answer the question on reflex, but the answer frightened her enough that she couldn’t say it at all.

I wasn't sure what answer Yveltal is suppressing here. What's the reflexive answer, exactly? Death? Well, she clearly likes him, so that's not true. Nobody? Why would that answer be frightening.

Because she saw something in his eyes. The way they gleamed a little, that weak, dull shine.

Yveltal cleared her throat. “Thank you,” she said, and her eyes added, I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused.

“Mm,” Arceus said, but his eyes said more: I, as well.

I didn't find this super satisfying, since it seems like the main issue in Arceus' micromanagement isn't really being addressed.

Xerneas and Yveltal had slept soundly that night, together in the former’s usual abode.

"the former's" is a bit overly formal and clunky.

Not many Pokémon bothered nor greeted them while they cleared up the overgrown plants and disturbed graves.

"bothered nor greeted" was a bit difficult for me to parse--I think because seeing bothered without an object following makes me expect an infinitive to follow.

Yveltal sighed. “By our rules, we are supposed to remove divine mistakes,” she said. “Those seven… perhaps even those eight…”

“Well, by our same rules,” Xerneas said, “we don’t tamper with something that the mortals can take care of themselves, unless they request it of us. And then, well, refer to the other rules. I don’t think the mortals are requesting us to un-revive them.”

Is the idea that the mortals could deal with this by, um, killing the pokemon they revived?

“She’s never wanted anything more than for someone to thank her. It was a moment of weakness… But it’s one that we shouldn’t undo.”

Why not? Does Xerneas believe in these rules or not? And if not, wouldn't that have been something to hash out earlier? I kind of thought Xerneas was the more cold-hearted one when it came to mortals living or dying, and I didn't feel like the events of the previous parts really brought a shift in that mentality?

A black haze collected around her wings like morning dew.

This simile doesn't quite land for me. I can't really find anything that makes the black haze like morning dew. Dew isn't similar to a haze in substance or form.

She sighed her final note; the stray cloud faded from the sky.

Pretty!

 

[Cresselia92]

Oi there! Cross-posting my review from Serebii because Wynaut? :3

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As I wanted to review the entire four-parter (Ha! Four parts, four is death in Japanese, I see what you did here! >:3), I will take a slightly more different reviewing style than usual.

So! Onward we go!

Chapter 1

The trail of blood was fresh.

Ah. The start of every single horror movie ever. Time for slasher Yveltal, then!

So, it starts pretty grim, I see. A small Pachirisu struck down with some poisonous jab by some wild Pokémon, and Yveltal following its traces and ending its suffering. Mercy kill... that surely makes Yveltal somewhat sympathetic. As in, she doesn't kill for the thrill of killing, but rather because that's her role, and that's an interesting perspective for a Grim Reaper. Ignoring the obvious bloody trail, I wonder if Yveltal has some power to detect dying Pokémon. Kinda like Lampent and Chandelure, but far less hostile.

Then, we change perspectives and see things through Xerneas' eyes. And wow, aren't most of those villagers self-absorbed jerks! I guess this is what happens when you're spoiled and brimming with life force. Still, Xerneas doesn't seem much better, with his misanthropic attitude and short temper. But then, lack of privacy and personal space might turn even the most patient individuals into grumpy folks.

Aww, it's so nice that Yveltal and Xerneas are friends, rather than two rivals aiming to prevail in matters of life and death. They really complete each other, with both confiding and venting about their issues. It's interesting how they are frustrated with the same Pokémon (the mortals) but for different reasons. Speaking of villagers, how lovely that they attack Yveltal before she has even the chance to defend herself with words. They really are deaf, aren't they?

Yveltal laughed, leaning against him. “I wish I could have a day where they would like me.”

“Wish…” Xerneas said, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully.

Brain blast!

I really feel like this last part dragged a bit, and it was quite the mood whiplash. Jirachi is amusing, yes, but... I dunno, I feel like you could have easily skipped this part to have them go directly to Manaphy. Like, it could have worked in this way...

Yveltal laughed, leaning against him. “If only we could swap places and have a day where they would like me.”

“Swap…” Xerneas said, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully.

And then bam! Go to Manaphy! Because yeah, Jirachi was more padding than anything imo.

Chapter 2

And here we are: Heart Swap! And of course, body shenanigans. Makes perfect sense, as they have different bodies. And Hoopa, because Wynaut?

Anyway, would you look at that? Both Xerneas and Yveltal are already appreciating their little vaycay. Who knows how long that will last?

So, first job of the day: remedy to what they did the day before with their previous jobs! Shocking irony!

Someone would think that after centuries of doing the same job, they would know how to use a moderate amount of power, and not destroy or life-boost more than needed.

Oh well, I suppose we wouldn't have had the ironic spin otherwise, so I'd say that's fine. Maybe they unconsciously pour more life and death energy during their assignments so that their respective counterparts have something to do?

Nothing much to say about this specific chapter. It was more buildup than anything, and it did a good job at that.

Chapter 3

Ouch! Now that was a low blow! Poor Yveltal, who had to hear what the villagers think about her on her back. I mean, I can understand that they don't like the concept of death itself -- I mean, if you're dead, you can't enjoy life anymore -- but wow. They really keep a lot of venom inside of them, even if they are aware that life and death need each other. It would be cool if... I dunno, Yveltal, Xerneas, and the mortals had some chitchats once in a while and discussed about this recurring issue. Even if they had to repeat the same lessons with new generations, at least Xerneas and Yveltal could probably receive a better treatment. Besides, generations can pass down tales, so I don't see why they can't encourage mortals to give lessons to their descendants and descendants of descendants.

I kinda feel for the Scyther. "Just plant more!" doesn't cut it but her blades are more than ready to cut, instead.

And now, there is this blight thing. Hmm... I wonder if this is related to your main work. As in, what is blight? An illness? A corruption? How is it caused? The way I see it, it looks like the PMD version of Shadow Pokémon, with it being triggered by strong negative emotions. And somehow, this phenomenon allows mortal Pokémon to strike legendaries.

Hmm... To be fair, I would gladly trade the Jirachi shenanigans with some more detail about the blight and where it comes from. For now, my theory is that the blight is the result of an entity like Dark Matter or Eternatus. Leaning more toward Eternatus, due to its "infective" nature.

And hey, talk about a revolving door! The matter about Honchkrow has returned to plague Yveltal, who has to revive a Pokémon that died of natural causes just to bring a smile to a small Murkrow and enjoy some gratitude. But then, things have to go downhill when her powers go beyond her control. The part with the Bulbasaur-turned-Ivysaur-turned-Venusaur was pretty intense and somewhat frightening. The whole thing about the vines slashing through the Grass-type's body, and kept alive by the life aura while being constantly torn... brrr! That's definitely creepy!

Time to fix things, and they did so. Well, using the powers of their respective counterparts and their respective lives aren't as thrilling, aren't they? That's the proof that the grass on the other side isn't always greener.

Oh! Hey! Arceus is here, and he's peeved!

Chapter 4

Ah, I see. Arceus is less a caring father and more an annoyed boss. Gotta love how he refuses to listen to what his "children" have to say and deflect any issue and trauma they might have with an "It's your fault, not mine!" attitude. No wonder they didn't say much in all those centuries, if certain deities and mortals refuse to lend an ear once in a while.

And so, they get a punishment: stay together or your powers won't work. ...I don't quite see this as a harsh punishment, to be fair. At least they will stay together and will be able to support each other during harsh times. Also, they could even start changing things and get some extra respect from the mortals. No more badmouthing while Xerneas is around, no more breach into private space while Yveltal is around... are we sure this isn't a blessing in disguise?

The part with the Sawsbuck was really well done, and further cemented Yveltal's role. It's a nice bookending: the story started with a mercy kill, and ends with another mercy kill. Hopefully, things will change for the better for both of those deities.

...And man, I'm kinda sad it ended here. I would have loved to see how lives are for them, now that they have to stick together. Sounded like a promising concept!

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So! Time for some general thoughts.

This was a really lovely tale about life and death, where death isn't painted as that nightmarish darkness but rather as an essential part of life.

The prose was very good, easy to follow and digest. However, as mentioned above, there were a few parts that dragged down the pacing (like Jirachi) and some parts that could have used some more detail and explanation (like the blight). And while this is a more subjective matter for me, I grew annoyed very quickly with most of the mortals. I guess that was the main purpose, but I kinda wish we got to see some folks being more sympathetic toward the two deities. After all, there could be death seekers and shy individuals who might feel for Yveltal and Xerneas.

Anyway, I have pretty much said all I could think of about this story. Cool stuff!

See you around~!