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Pokémon Darkest Day: The Aftermath Pilot Intro

Darkest Day: The Aftermath Pilot Intro

CinderArts

Bug Catcher
Location
Sandgem Town
Pronouns
He!
Partners
  1. cinderace
The stingy, bitter cold blew through my face - the never-ending snow sent chills down my spine. Bundled up in my snow gear clothing, armed to the teeth with a cup of coffee, I gently picked up the walkie-talkie and adjusted the channel’s dial in its intended frequency. As I fiddled with the dial, I took a sip from my cup of coffee as my co-workers continued to drill through the snowy ground, eager to discover something that had piqued their interests.

I sighed. I miss Alola. Primarily - I miss Kukui. Why the Aether Foundation picked me to be assigned to a place like this is a fleeting mystery to me. Maybe it was because of my experience as a professor, or maybe Lusamine assigned me here as some part of a joke. Whatever the case may be, I’m stuck here for Arceus knows how long.

It wasn’t long until the Walkie-Talkie had picked up the frequency that I was trying to get through. As a smile crept through my face, I sighed once more and drank what was left of the coffee.

“Hello? It’s me.” I half-yelled.

He-, wh- se- — The other person tried to talk on the other line, but all I could hear were jumbled words and static. That annoying static, of all things, annoyed me the most.

“What was that?” I asked. “I can’t hear you!”

Wh-t seems to b- the proble..? The other person tried to talk again. I managed to make out what he was trying to tell me. Just barely.

“Nothing! It’s just that this drilling operation is taking its sweet time!” I responded with a half-yell again, the noise of the drill drowned out my voice - and the person on the other line.

What? W- was th-?

Grumbling, I stood up and walked away from the drill site and trudged through the snow towards the tent - my patience waning.

“I’ve been yelling myself hoarse on this radio every day! It’s just that the weather frequently dumps itself here! And maybe the mission itself is dying, I don’t know!” I half-yelled again as I unfurled the tent flap, taking off my snow goggles. Finally, some relief! As I entered the tent, the line became much clearer, and I finally understood what the other person said in the line.

I can’t understand one word of what you’re saying, Burnett!

With my patience close to depleted, I replied sarcastically. “It’s all going swell, sir!”

Before I could make my report to the site’s overall supervisor, a cranking noise was heard in the air along with a person yelling.

Get the drill out! Get it out! I heard from the other side. Something must have gone wrong with the equipment. Great. More setbacks, just what Nurse Joy had ordered.

I walked out from the tent and lo, behold, the driller’s gears clinked against each other in a chaotic rhythm as the driver’s cabin shook relentlessly - its operator tried to pull it out, but he quickly shook his head.

What in Arceus’s name is he doing!? I thought angrily to myself.

Something’s wrong! His co-worker told me. Yeah, no crap, Sherlock!

“Off!” I waved my hand to the operator. “Hey! Switch it off!” I yelled at him as I made an X-Sign hand sign. “What are you doing!?”

I’m trying, Ma’am! But it’s not working! I don’t- his sentence was cut short as the rubber belt of the gears snapped in half, nearly whipping his co-worker’s face. Had he been a few inches closer, he could’ve kissed his cheek goodbye.

“Ugh!” Great, now the belt snapped! This would take forever to get it fixed…

_______________________________________________________________________

After a few hours of repairing, we managed to get the drill out of the hole. Although the drill isn’t in decent shape, its pointed end now a mangled mess, it did manage to bring something to the research table. Fragments of what appear to be black rocks were attached to the damaged drill, with bits and pieces of it visible on the ground. With my curiosity piqued, I reached for my tablet and began sequencing the data analysis. As I scanned the material from the drill, I can’t help but think that what we’re dealing with here is nothing but some piece of rock that the drill had managed to get itself snagged with.

That was not the case.

My tablet’s analyzer beeped in high pitched tones, indicating that the rock it had analyzed was an unknown piece of meteorite. 80% meteorite, 20% unknown. What could the 20% be? Are we missing something? In any case, I must file this report back to the Aether Foundation. For all I know, this could be related to Ultra Beasts themselves.

“What’s your guess? Any ideas?” My co-worker asked, and I simply shrugged as a response.

Just as I was about to head back to camp, a man on a snowrider stopped by the campsite. He looked around the site, then towards the drill, then at me.

“I think you better come and check out Site 2.” He spoke.

“Why, what’s the matter?” I asked, eager to know why he needed me there.

“I think it’s better if you check it out with your own eyes.” He replied.

With no task left for me to do, I accepted his invitation and got on the snowrider. Before taking off to Site 2, I looked at my co-worker who was fiddling with the analyzer.

“What am I supposed to do with this hole?” He asked.

“Blow through it. Just don’t go overboard with the explosives.” I ordered. “Alright, let’s go.”

And just like that, we’re off. I hate riding on open air vehicles, the stinging snow had already blocked my goggles’ vision as I carefully rubbed the visor to be rid of the blockade. As I was busy with that, I wondered what was so important that I had to be present in Site 2. Maybe they discovered the same thing that the driller had found?

“Did you find more meteorites?!” I yelled. He simply scoffed at my question.

“Hah! Nah! Something a little more unusual than that!”

“Something a little more unusual?! What do you mean by that?!”

“You’ll see in a moment! We’re almost there!”

As soon as we arrived at Site 2, I expected a busted drill with the same leaking content. However, what I saw as the snowrider came to a halt, my jaw could have practically hit the floor. There it was a statue that had been recently dug up made itself known. From what I can make out, its head is triangular in shape and has a pair of white, eye-like markings in the form of three connected circles, as well as a spindly lower jaw with several diamond-shaped teeth. Over its head is a translucent red film held between five long spikes extending toward its body's rear. Just what could this statue be?

“See? What’d I tell you? It’s unusual to the point that even we don’t know what this statue’s supposed to be. Maybe it’s a Pokemon?”

Oh no! This must be connected to what we found at Site 4! I quickly took out my walkie-talkie and haphazardly fiddled with the dial button, hoping that I could get through the channel quickly.

“Billy! I don’t want you to set off those explosives, you hear me?!” I yelled from the top of my lungs. “I don’t want you to set off those explosives!”

But my words fell on deaf ears, or he didn’t have his walkie-talkie with him because as soon as I finished yelling out the last sentence, an explosion could be heard from the east. Knowing that he probably ignored my orders, we took cover from behind the driller’s cabin to avoid getting hit by debris falling from the sky.

“Damn Pyros!” I grunted. This is the last time I’m leaving that Site unsupervised.

__________________________________________________________________

After that debacle with the pyro, we regained our composure and continued to investigate their discovery in Site 2. What we discovered was astounding. Not only did we find a buried statue, but we also discovered an entryway that leads underneath the snowy ice - no thanks to the explosion that happened earlier. Sauntering over to the entrance, I did a quick check of my equipment one last time before we could make our entry to the unknown entryway.

Batteries, check. Flare Gun, check. Flashlight, check. Most importantly…

“... Coffee pack. Check.”

Everything seems to be in order. Great. As I looked at Jim, he managed to crack a weak smile, who seemed eager to bail out.

“What’s the matter, Jim?” I asked.

“Nothing, ma’am! It’s just that… I’m a bit nervous. We don’t know what’s waiting for us inside that entryway.” He replied.

“You’re going to be fine. I’ll take the point, so you just watch my back. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Seeing that my words of encouragement had sprinkled some motivation within the confines of his heart, we trudged through the snow and made our way to the entrance. As I turned on my flashlight, we were greeted with more ice. Yet, something feels off about the interior. Putting that thought back in the back of my brain, we continued our journey through what appeared to be a cave system.

“Fascinating… I didn’t know there was a cave here.” I remarked as I peered through the camera, recording every single detail of the interior.

“Me neither. It’s like as if it were waiting for us to discover it…”

“Just keep your eyes peeled, Jim.”

We walked, and walked, navigating our way through this unknown passage with nothing but our equipment and wits. This might be the reason why Jim was nervous. Half an hour had passed and with barely anything in the confines of this passage, I was about to give the order to fall back until we reached the end of the cave system.

“Mother of Arceus…” I uttered.

What we had discovered had, to say the least, left me in shock. We have discovered what appeared to be an altar with tall pillars overlooking the center - its structure akin to that of Galar’s classical era architecture style. At the center is the head of the same statue that we had discovered earlier above the surface, and on top of it is a dagger lodged on the head of the mini statue. But what stood out the most was the tapestry. It depicts a village of some sort being burned down by the same creature in the statue, and on the right depicts the same statue reigning above a ruined castle, engaged in combat against two wolf-like creatures - one wielded a sword in its mouth, and the other adorned a shield-like ornament on its head.

“Incredible. Jim, are you recording these?” I inquired.

“Yes, ma’am. The camera’s rolling.” He replied.

“Okay, good. Don’t forget to take pictures. We need to uncover anything that we can find here for evaluation. Just don’t touch anything.” I cautioned him, fearing that the room could be booby trapped.

I took note of every single thing that I had discovered inside this room. From the head of the statue to its dagger, the tapestries and a scroll laid down on top of a small pillar. What’s interesting though is that the scroll is written in pre-modern galarian text. Good thing Kukui taught me that language.

“Alright, you little guy. Help me decipher what it is you’re trying to tell me…”

I read the lines softly as my finger traced the soft fabric of the scroll, trying to decode every single detail that could be decoded. What I’ve read had left me in shock.

O, Eternatus, the great one. We bestow you the fruits of our labor

O, Eternatus, the great one. May your return bring salvation upon us for we wait for your return.

O, Eternatus, the great one. Your time of rule was cut short by the two interlopers that dared to stop your great kingdom, casting you back to your domain.

We pray, O Eternatus, that you beseech our prayers. May your return bring peace and glory to Galar once again. May The Darkest Day purify the hearts, minds, and souls of every one of your subjects. Galar belongs to only you, O great one.

O, Eternatus, may you one day slay the beasts, Zacian and Zamazenta. O, great one, may you return one day so that you can reclaim what is rightfully yours and bring to us a taste of salvation.

We will worship you until the end of time. May our sacrifices help you to return to the world of the living. We shall do everything we can within our power to guide you back to the world and help reclaim your kingdom.



Eternatus… the Darkest Day… this isn’t a scroll. It’s a prayer manuscript! And judging from the scribbles, this must have been written after its apparent rule.

“Jim, you’re from Galar, right?” I inquired.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied as he took a picture of the statue’s head.

“Do you know anything about The Darkest Day?” He nodded.

“Good. Because I discovered a prayer manuscript here that mentioned the Darkest Day. It mentioned the name, “Eternatus.”

As soon as I dropped the name, his ears perked up and looked at me with interest.

“Eternatus? You mean the evil being that brought ruin to Galar? Where?!”

“I-it’s over here.” I pointed at the small pillar. “But I don’t think you’ll understand it. The text is written in Old Galarian language.”

“Oh. We should take it with us, ma’am. I don’t think it’s safe to leave it here now that the cave system is exposed.”

As soon as he touched the statue’s head, the room’s torches lit up as it revealed its secrets. To our shock and horror, we discovered that the pillars were coffins, as we discovered skeletal human remains embedded within the pillar encased in a see-through glass case. And it’s not just one, there are at least ten of them!

The pillars are also adorned by old swords and shields, as well as… impossible. A Pokedex? How could they have a proper Pokedex when this whole room predates to the classical era of Galar…? From the looks of things, this Pokedex’s design is different. It’s as heavy as a brick, with a natural black color, and with the lens and screen appearing to be broken.

“Dear Arceus… I must make contact with Professor Sycamore immediately.”
 

Joshthewriter

Charizard Fan
Location
Toronto
Pronouns
He/him
Partners
  1. charizard
Alright! It’s late, but I’m here! I mentioned it in a DM to you, but I feel like this does serve as an effective prologue. It hits the right beats, it introduces a central mystery, and it makes me want to know more.

I do feel like there are a few clunky places, but they really don’t detract and could easily be remedied if you chose so.

The stingy, bitter cold blew through my face - the never-ending snow sent chills down my spine. Bundled up in my snow gear clothing, armed to the teeth with a cup of coffee, I gently picked up the walkie-talkie and adjusted the channel’s dial in its intended frequency. As I fiddled with the dial, I took a sip from my cup of coffee as my co-workers continued to drill through the snowy ground, eager to discover something that had piqued their interests.

I sighed. I miss Alola. Primarily - I miss Kukui. Why the Aether Foundation picked me to be assigned to a place like this is a fleeting mystery to me. Maybe it was because of my experience as a professor, or maybe Lusamine assigned me here as some part of a joke. Whatever the case may be, I’m stuck here for Arceus knows how long.
Fantastically effective opening. Delivers us the relevant information to the fic in a heartbeat.
“Hello? It’s me.” I half-yelled.
I‘ll only mention it once, but it appears as if you’re improperly formatting the dialogue. Should be a comma at the end of Burnett’s “It’s me,”

Its not a huge issue though and I don’t find that it hampers enjoyment of this at all. Just a technical rule that I’ve been ragged on in the past for.

Before I could make my report to the site’s overall supervisor, a cranking noise was heard in the air along with a person yelling.

Get the drill out! Get it out! I heard from the other side. Something must have gone wrong with the equipment. Great. More setbacks, just what Nurse Joy had ordered.
It might just be my love of “The Thing” showing, but I’m a huge fan of any arctic/cold weather expedition/science thing going horribly wrong.

Something’s wrong! His co-worker told me. Yeah, no crap, Sherlock!
Censoring the saying? Shit isn’t that bad of a word lol.

I’m trying, Ma’am! But it’s not working! I don’t- his sentence was cut short as the rubber belt of the gears snapped in half, nearly whipping his co-worker’s face. Had he been a few inches closer, he could’ve kissed his cheek goodbye.
I hadn’t realized that the italics in this section were dialogue and I was terribly confused. Plz use quotation marks, otherwise it can lead to said confusion.

I did understand after jumping back, but it broke the flow of reading for me.

After a few hours of repairing, we managed to get the drill out of the hole. Although the drill isn’t in decent shape, its pointed end now a mangled mess, it did manage to bring something to the research table. Fragments of what appear to be black rocks were attached to the damaged drill, with bits and pieces of it visible on the ground. With my curiosity piqued, I reached for my tablet and began sequencing the data analysis. As I scanned the material from the drill, I can’t help but think that what we’re dealing with here is nothing but some piece of rock that the drill had managed to get itself snagged with.
Some tense shifts within this paragraph. From present, back to past that you were using in the first scene.

My tablet’s analyzer beeped in high pitched tones, indicating that the rock it had analyzed was an unknown piece of meteorite. 80% meteorite, 20% unknown. What could the 20% be? Are we missing something? In any case, I must file this report back to the Aether Foundation. For all I know, this could be related to Ultra Beasts themselves.
Again back to present tense a few times, particularly in the places where you stuck Burnett’s internal thoughts.

“I think you better come and check out Site 2.” He spoke.

“Why, what’s the matter?” I asked, eager to know why he needed me there.

“I think it’s better if you check it out with your own eyes.” He replied.
Well that’s properly ominous. The kinda shit that calls to me lol.

“What am I supposed to do with this hole?” He asked.

“Blow through it. Just don’t go overboard with the explosives.” I ordered. “Alright, let’s go.”
I feel like Burnett probably wouldn’t have ordered him to blow an unknown material halfway to the moon. Especially when she’s informed of some ominous happenings at another dig site.

“Did you find more meteorites?!” I yelled. He simply scoffed at my question.

“Hah! Nah! Something a little more unusual than that!”
Oh you definitely shouldn’t have ordered him to blow the hole lol.

But my words fell on deaf ears, or he didn’t have his walkie-talkie with him because as soon as I finished yelling out the last sentence, an explosion could be heard from the east. Knowing that he probably ignored my orders, we took cover from behind the driller’s cabin to avoid getting hit by debris falling from the sky.

“Damn Pyros!” I grunted. This is the last time I’m leaving that Site unsupervised.
ummmmmm that seems slightly unsafe and also not super professional. Like… they’re here to unearth some ancient shit and he blows it halfway to the moon?

Seems slightly excessive of an explosion, especially to toss debris to another site that presumably is not that close to it.

Batteries, check. Flare Gun, check. Flashlight, check. Most importantly…

“... Coffee pack. Check.”
indeed. The most essential of survival supplies. Coffee!

“Fascinating… I didn’t know there was a cave here.” I remarked as I peered through the camera, recording every single detail of the interior.

“Me neither. It’s like as if it were waiting for us to discover it…”
Maybe they didn’t have access to this kinda stuff, but perhaps they should have some knowledge that there’s some sort of cavern? We have imaging technology today that can penetrate into the ground, the pokemon world seems to be even beyond ours technologically.

“Mother of Arceus…” I uttered.

What we had discovered had, to say the least, left me in shock. We have discovered what appeared to be an altar with tall pillars overlooking the center - its structure akin to that of Galar’s classical era architecture style. At the center is the head of the same statue that we had discovered earlier above the surface, and on top of it is a dagger lodged on the head of the mini statue. But what stood out the most was the tapestry. It depicts a village of some sort being burned down by the same creature in the statue, and on the right depicts the same statue reigning above a ruined castle, engaged in combat against two wolf-like creatures - one wielded a sword in its mouth, and the other adorned a shield-like ornament on its head.
Ah, so an ancient depiction of the Darkest Day! Where does this take place again? Crown Tundra or somewhere else?

“Just don’t touch anything.”
“Don’t touch”
I read the lines softly as my finger traced the soft fabric of the scroll, trying to decode every single detail that could be decoded. What I’ve read had left me in shock.
Proceeds to touch lol.

O, Eternatus, the great one. We bestow you the fruits of our labor

O, Eternatus, the great one. May your return bring salvation upon us for we wait for your return.

O, Eternatus, the great one. Your time of rule was cut short by the two interlopers that dared to stop your great kingdom, casting you back to your domain.

We pray, O Eternatus, that you beseech our prayers. May your return bring peace and glory to Galar once again. May The Darkest Day purify the hearts, minds, and souls of every one of your subjects. Galar belongs to only you, O great one.

O, Eternatus, may you one day slay the beasts, Zacian and Zamazenta. O, great one, may you return one day so that you can reclaim what is rightfully yours and bring to us a taste of salvation.

We will worship you until the end of time. May our sacrifices help you to return to the world of the living. We shall do everything we can within our power to guide you back to the world and help reclaim your kingdom.
I like this, vague prophecy like warnings are always fun. A story about eternatus cultists? I’m in!

“Oh. We should take it with us, ma’am. I don’t think it’s safe to leave it here now that the cave system is exposed.”
I thought we weren’t touching lol?

As soon as he touched the statue’s head, the room’s torches lit up as it revealed its secrets. To our shock and horror, we discovered that the pillars were coffins, as we discovered skeletal human remains embedded within the pillar encased in a see-through glass case. And it’s not just one, there are at least ten of them!

The pillars are also adorned by old swords and shields, as well as… impossible. A Pokedex? How could they have a proper Pokedex when this whole room predates to the classical era of Galar…? From the looks of things, this Pokedex’s design is different. It’s as heavy as a brick, with a natural black color, and with the lens and screen appearing to be broken.
THIS IS WHY YOU DONT TOUCH IN THE CREEPY RUINS

“Dear Arceus… I must make contact with Professor Sycamore immediately.”

Sycamore???? I wonder what he has to do with this?

Overall, a pleasant read. It ticks off the boxes you mentioned needing it to tick and does a good job at making me want to know what’s going on.

There are a few clunky bits and a few tense shifts, but those are easily rectified.

I quite enjoyed the bits of Burnett’s personality shining through as well. It’s so easy to lose your characters in the events of a chapter, but I feel like you did a good job with her.
 
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