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Crack Theories


Ace Trainer
  1. mawile
  2. vulpix-alola
It brings me no satisfaction to tell you that @Pen must be banned for doxing a user.

The evidence of this crime can be found in The Citizen, Part One a title that may itself be copyright infringement of this nonsense that I don't need to pay $5 to realize might be a bit ableist.

There's a running bit beforehand that one of a character's pokemon is called "Kintsugi." It seemed innocuous at first. Then the character says this: "The only family that counts is the family that sticks with you. Kintsugi's my family." This tells us that the character, Jiro, is not only related to @kintsugi but lives in the same household. Then the same chapter tells us his full name: Adache Jiro. From this a user could potentially tell the full name of someone who lives in a user's home. It is frankly disgraceful that we let a moderator get away with such egregious conduct for so long. We must also note that the chapter's posting date was around the time kintsugi was supposed to post the next chapter of envy of eden, something they haven't done solely because of the stress of this doxing.

Because turnabout is fair play, I must now dox Pen by revealing their last name:


And she isn't even a #2.

Just a Torchic

DaiMikuNagi my Beloved
Sootopolis City
  1. torchic
  2. custom/torchic-blue


golden scars
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. custom/booper-kintsugi
the envy of eden by @kintsugi is "a story about things that start with n"
"eden" ends with n
the envy of eden ended
but what about things with n in the center?
n is sans undertale
sans undertake is the center of the universe
I’m just shocked that anyone was able to figure it out so quickly!

(Pretend for a moment that my brain was large enough to realize that “nede fo yvne”, the title backwards, is also a thing that starts with N lol …)


the cat is mightier than the pen
  1. dratini
  2. custom/dratini-pen
  3. custom/dratini-pen2
In Burner, the protagonist has a problem: someone is ruining his art. Ultimately he resolves the problem by talking things out and reaching mutual understanding. Clearly, this was a subpar outcome.

He should have sued.

As the creator of a visual work, our protagonist Nico has certain authorial rights. Disappointingly, Burner fails to enlighten us on the exact contours of Kalosian copyright law, an oversight that @kintsugi will surely correct in her future literary endeavors. However, the author's carelessness does not preclude us from making a few informed guesses about Nico's litigation prospects.

The canonical Kalos region is transparently based on France. It is no great leap to assume that Kalos' copyright law would also be based on France's. As it happens, France has one of the strongest moral rights copyright regimes in the world and protects the integrity of an artistic work (See Intellectual Property Code Article L121-1.) The right of integrity is understood as the power to prevent modifications that damage the spirit of the work. The additions made to Nico's work throughout the course of the fic were contrary to Nico's artistic intent and merit the condemnation of copyright law as an affront to Nico's moral rights.

But wait, you protest! What if kintsugi does indeed change the location of the fic from Kalos to Unova, as she has alluded to in thread (see below)?

there's a 70% chance I just shift the entire fic back into Unova and everything gets yeeted,

Unova is based on America, and as everyone knows, the American copyright regime is notoriously unfriendly to moral rights and in dubious compliance with the Berne Convention provisos that protect them. This is all true, but hope for Nico's judicial vindication is not all lost. As the author of a visual work that exists in a single copy, under the Visual Artists Rights Act he may be able to show that Rosetta infringed on his 106(A)(3)(a) right to prevent " intentional distortion, mutilation, or other modification of that work which would be prejudicial to his or her honor or reputation." VARA has, after all, been successfully applied to works such as Nico's. See Castillo v. G&M Realty L.P. - 950 F.3d 155 (2d Cir. 2020).

“I could get a pokéball. Find a trainer.”

Maevis is correct to scold Nico for this silly remark. He does not need a trainer's help. He needs a lawyer's.


Flygon connoisseur
  1. flygon
  2. crobat
  3. orbeetle
So after my last incredible reveal where I uncovered the truth about Jackie's fic, DE, I am back again with some shocking new reveals! Just what is this fic Salvage about? Well, after reading 6 out of like 50-something chapters, I can confidently say I know exactly what is going on.

Let's start at the beginning.

(Warning for the faint of heart or those blind to the truth. Spoilers ahead for Salvage!)

First, its written by user @Negrek . They write Pokemon fanfic

It centers around a being referred to as 'The Child', who has strange powers.

We know that The Child is seeking to reclaim his lost pokemon, acquire all the Kanto Gym badges, make it to the pokemon league and see someone important.

Interesting, right?

Then we find out the Child once had a Charizard, as well as other pokemon - War and Thunderstorm.


Let's examine that! Thunderstorm. Storm. Thunder=Lightning. Thunderstorm is almost certainly an electric type pokemon.

Furthermore, The Child has another pokemon - Rats. A Raticate!

Now, let's review. The Child seemingly once had these pokemon:
Rats - Raticate
Titan - Charizard
Thunderstorm - Some electric type
War - unknown

Also, in chapter 6, The Child briefly disguises themselves as a Grovyle. I Wonder what thats a reference to?

Now for the Child themselves.

We know they are part of an experiment by someone at Cinnabar Labs. They are immature, impulsive, a little reckless, but all the same very dedicated to saving Mew.

Sound familiar? No?

That's because Negrek is very good at disguising the truth. But I'm better.

Someone, seemingly a former human trainer, who had Charizard, Raticate, and an Electric pokemon, has power, is very impulsive and reckless but cares for pokemon. Don't see it? FOOLS!

The Child is none other than Ash Ketchum.

"But wait!" You insist. "Ash never had a raticate."

Ah my friend, I think you are forgetting the crucial detail of EP 015, Battle Aboard the St Anne. Ash traded Butterfree for the strange Gentleman's Raticate. Therefore.....

Salvage takes place in the alternate timeline where Ash keeps the Raticate he traded for Butterfree, obviously.

Shortly after, he ends up in the clutches of Team Rocket/Cinnabar Island labs, is experimented on, and turned into a pokemorph.

Naturally, Thunderstorm is his lost Pikachu.

The personality lines up, and he's simply a little changed bc of his sick aura powers. Titan is the Charizard we know, and rats is the Raticate. Just like Ash, he wants to collect his gym badges and get to the Pokemon League! Not to mention Ash is always called a 'kid' or immature. That is not a coincidence!

Still don't believe me? Consider this. All the people so far that The Child has impersonated, or tried to.

Matt Kerrigan
Jade Winstead
Nathaniel Morgan
Nicholas Garret

Ash Ketch'm

But Tetra! What about the 'u' in Ketchum?

AHA! No so fast Negrek, you sly Vulpix. I figured you out. You see, dear readers, what tense is Salvage written in?

That's right. 2nd tense.


The truth is finally revealed.

Salvage is just another attempt at aura!pokemorph!Ash fic, disguised as some kind of mystery fic.

There is no other suitable explanation for these facts at all, whatsoever.

Yeah Negrek, I saw right through you.


Summer of the Soul
...holy shit. I never expected someone to piece all the clues together so quickly! I mean, what are you even going to do for the next 65 chapters now? You already know how this ends!

And I thought I was so clever, using second person for that final "u"...



Is Morty secretly Red Akai from hh?​


Since I read the whopping total of the first half of the prologue of hh, you can consider me an expert on this subject. So let me explain:

The signs are all there: Both are priests in frequent contact with dead bodies and ghosts, are asian and have rumors of being a serial killer attached to them.

But how did this happen? Well, after Red somehow got away at the end of what is considered the hh canon, he went into hiding. He escaped to Johto, where he intended to build a secret identity for himself and found just the right spot to do so: A vast, pretty empty building complex in the south of Ecruteak. The only problem, as always: people. So he manipulated the breaks on the car of old monastery's owner current owner, planning to get rid of both him and his son. Sadly, the son was not in the vehicle when it crashed, so Red had to dispose of him the traditional way.
He dumped his body in the 'bottomless pit of despair,' which would later become the Ecruteak Gym (and thereby setting up the Gym's unofficial motto "How to build your own Spiritomb, one challenger at a time")
After successfully assuming the identity of the young man (only a bit of fasting and a hair-dye was needed), he realised that the "special blend" green tea from the Towers' garden soothed both his anxiety and murder-instincts. With the power of recreational marijuana use, Red became a functioning member of society and even took to the company of ghosts. So much that he would later specialise in them.
Any timeline-inconsistencies on the 26y side can be explained away with Celebi and -- boom -- watertight case.

Is this all the evidence ever needed? Does this explain why Morty keeps his supposed mother away from the premise at all costs? Does this make hh the semi-prequel to 26y? Is the sky blue? The answer to all these questions is the same: Yes.

But in case you are still not convinced, take a look at Morty's team in BW2's World Tournament1642003150426.png
Cue X-Files theme

I rest my case.


golden scars
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. custom/booper-kintsugi
Is the sky blue?
* looks nervously up *

she's everywhere ...

also, wow, I can't believe they even just named him Red in the PWT! that's compelling evidence, to be sure.
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