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Crack Theories

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
Starlight was close! We do have Mew and Mew2, M and M2. Here we have N8, or N2^3. And, as previously revealed, N is M but missing one... or someone. Surely there must be a reason Nate keeps running into our protagonist, after all. Perhaps some aspect of its powers will be able to restore him to his true mewcloneitude...

So, Mew? Not quite. Mewtwo but worse? Most definitely.

(I am living for the timestamps on that convo. That was a whole lot of revelation for a single minute!)
 

Dragonfree

Moderator
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
Partners
  1. butterfree
  2. mightyena
  3. charizard
  4. scyther-mia
  5. vulpix
  6. slugma
Negrek I can’t believe you would rip off my fanfic in this manner, just straight-up borrowing the Mewtwo power series. >:(
 

WildBoots

Don’t underestimate seeds.
Pronouns
She/Her
Partners
  1. moka-mark
  2. solrock

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
Watery did eventually actually win the Dratini from the Celadon gambling place through the slot machine. Chapters 5 and 6 are just hallucinations he had from sleep deprivation.
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
I'm not even sure what his name being Watery does to my theories.
it's really quite simple:
watery -> wateryu -> water ryu
water ryu -> lugia
wataru = lugia
but we know from expert analysis of LC that lugia = stalker
wataru = stalker
by transitive property of authorship, we can conclude that:
wataru's author = stalker's author
OSJ = chibi pika

boom
 

Rainfall

minVP ADC atomic step action potential
Location
blue-green spinning rock
Pronouns
he/they
Partners
  1. minior
This thread is maximum :quag: and even if I don't have the galaxeon brain for these, they're fun to follow along with!
Thanks again for the gift, Bench 😃
__________

! But I think I noticed something?

by transitive property of authorship, we can conclude that:
wataru's author = stalker's author
OSJ = chibi pika

wataru's author = OSJ? : o

Does OSJ have a Wataru as well? Or is this simply a slip-up, adding evidence to the Johto-iNkpeN amalgamation theory?

1608849074877.png
I almost took this at face value!
But OSJ said something interesting, there!
"I do sometimes call him 'our boy' but I don't mean it literally."

...oh, I understand! I must literally be careful to read literally the correct way.
1608849433371.png
So OSJ does mean "our boy", really! I have seen the truth!

Explicit clues from before:
1608848301858.png
Recent evidence, actually, for the OSJ-peN-kint triumvirate!

But wait! more triumvirates and multi-minded hydras!
1608848373385.pngHave we hit on something here?

1608843510817.png

The TR community is Negrek's master plan to cultivate a beautiful hivemind!

Remember, Metagross are composed of psychically-linked minds! And Negrek had a Metagross profile pic on the forums a few months ago!
This. wasn't. coincidence. It. was. a clue!!

This is one additional reason why Negrek is so welcoming on the forum Intro Thread and everywhere else! All the better to share and meld hearts and minds! 🧠
_____

Now bear with me as we delve into the urtext! The material may not seem to support my thesis but I promise I explain it right after!
The name "Thousand Roads" comes from one of my favorite Chinese idioms, 千方百计, literally "a thousand ways, a hundred plans." It means "to do whatever it takes," "to go all out," or "by any means necessary."

Both literal and figurative meanings seem to perfectly capture what it takes to be good at ASB, or even fanfiction--as anyone who has tried to grind out a fifty-plus chapterfic can attest. It also captures the openness of the pokémon world [...]

While I expect that fanfiction-related pages will always make up the majority of the site's content, I don't know what else might end up popping up, and I look forward to the unexpected twists its path will take. There's only one thing to do now--grab my bike and get exploring!

Hm, no, this is all well and good, but there MUST be a hidden goal within all that!
Ok, let's break this down!

The name "Thousand Roads" [means] "a thousand [ideas], a hundred [minds]." It means "to do whatever it takes" [to gather more lovely minds], "to go all out" [and assimilate them into the hydra], [and] "by any means necessary" [share the gospel of the quag!].
:quag:~SOLVED~
_____

In case my poor case above is not enough to persuade you, here are some trailing notes from TR community embracing hiveminds!

(...and of Seph's bonus chapter, guess who was selected in part by community-mind contributions? 🐝)

1608848640613.png
1608849976862.png 1608848025396.png
1608848496270.png



--- Thousand Roads: JOIN US ---

:quag: :quag: :quag:
_______________________ _______________________
 

Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
  2. dratini-pen
  3. dratini-pen2
The Haunting Secrets of the Streets of Lago

It was suggested to me that a single chapter is not enough to spawn a baseless crack theory an articulate and insightful analysis of In the Streets of Lago. As the kids say, Don't believe me? just watch.

Let's take our first clue. Miguel, our protagonist, has a murkrow named Icarus. This is odd! Icarus is a name out of Greek mythology. One might wonder whether Greek religion would have developed in the pokemon world, or how the Icarus myth might look different and probably involve skarmory. But that's the kind of thing weirdos worry about. I at once honed in on the relevance of this appellation.

Could it possibly be a coincidence that the fic some rise by sin by kintsugi also features a murkrow with the name of—wait for it—Icarus?? I think not! But Pen you say, isn't the simplest explanation that @Flaze has read some rise by sin and thought that name was cool? Tch! I spit on your "simplest explanations." And what's more, I have proof.

kintsugi is flaze.png

Now that we know that kintsugi is Flaze's long-time sock puppet, the real analysis can begin. Let's take the following quotes:

“I think the best people can do right now is to better inform themselves and others about the groups and movement combating this issue; gang violence doesn’t exist in a vacuum and it’s something we can’t fix unless everyone accepts that it’s the result of consequences carrying over from our parents’ and even grandparents’ time.”
“Everyone leaves someone behind.”
Now, a less analytical reader might think this indicates a thematic exploration of how violence replicates itself through the generations; how the scars of the past lead to the creation of new wounds. But to quote GRRM, "Themes are for eighth-grade book reports.” There are far better options: ghosts and timeloops, two staples of flaze-kint!fic.

In the Streets of Lago opens with what seems to be a traumatic flashback of Miguel's recent past. However, this is deceptive. Miguel is actually remembering flashes from a life he lived through before, although he does not know it yet. He is clearly experiencing a time loop, beginning each cycle an amnesiac, forced to repeat the same mistakes.

Now, why would Miguel continue to repeat these mistakes? To quote Shakespeare, "The fault is in our stars." Obviously there must be some outside, supernatural force causing everything to go wrong.

And I have a pretty good bet on what that force is.

Nothing is accidental in writing. Yet flaze draws our attention not once, but twice to something incongruous: Miguel's plushie collection. In particular, his dedenne plushy. Innocent, you say? I think not. That plushie is clearly haunted . . . by a spiritomb.

That's right, it's all coming together. Everyone leaves someone behind, Miguel says at the close of chapter one. They do indeed . . . as ghosts!

Now it becomes crystal clear. Miguel has been saddled with a plushie possessed by the spirits of the past generations. Through him they are attempting to fight out their ancient conflicts. Will he be able to defeat these forces and end the cycle?

Of course not. But we'll certainly have fun watching him try.

haunted dedenne.png
[This was written for flaze's Review Blitz prize!]
 
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IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
Every single player character in Blacklight campaign is actually the Super hero from a random universe. The transition to Cibus just messed with everyone's memories, making them think they're characters from our stories.
 
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IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
Elbert is the one who killed Santa in White Elephant in the Room.
 

IFBench

Rescue Team Member
Location
Pokemon Paradise
Partners
  1. chikorita-saltriv
  2. bench-gen
  3. charmander
  4. snivy
  5. treecko
  6. tropius
  7. arctozolt
  8. wartortle
In Hunter, Haunted, HELIX already merged with Red before the story began. Red just hasn't truly noticed yet.
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
I have uncovered the truth about @Chibi Pika 's LC.

Jade's mom. Her true identity. Ever since I started reading LC I wondered... why does Jade not think about her mom much? And then when that incident at Viridian occurs. And Guess who's there???

Ho-Oh. Coincidence? I think not!

Ridiculous, you claim. Yet the foreshadowing is there. What's the first thing that happens to Jade in the story? The fire.

What legendary is associated frequently with fire? Ho Oh.

Need more proof?? Who is Jade's first pokemon. Charmander, you might think. But it's actually Swift, the Pidgey. A BIRD!

And what is Ho-Oh? A bird.

But wait, you might say. That's not enough proof! Well I have the icing on the cake for you!

Per my earlier revelation, we already know Stalker is secretly Lugia. Why 'happen' to recruit a mere child like Jade? Unless Stalker, aka Lugia, knew that Jade's Mom was actually Ho-Oh. Jade... jade is a green gem. Ho-oh has green on its feathers.

NO MORE PROOF IS NEEDED! @Chibi Pika I KNOW YOUR SECreT!!
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
I discovered some hot new info folks, brought to you by the ever trepidacious Tetra.
Today I'll be revealing massive spoilers for @unrepentantAuthor aka Jackie's long-running fanfic, DE, aka Different Eyes.

If you are afraid of spoilers, mind-blowing facts or having your world turned upside down, don't read ahead.

You've been warned.

Alright, so we know Different Eyes focuses on pokemorphs. Pokemon turned part human. Particularly, a Purrloin morph named Salem.

You know what Purrloin are based on? Cats. This is important, so remember that.

We also know Mewtwo is likely involved in this as well. What animal does Mewtwo most closely resemble? A cat. Remember this as well.

Lastly, we have a character named Dusk. Dusk is also a morph of a Sneasel. Now in pokemon, we know Sneasel are weasel-like pokemon. For those who don't know, weasel's are basically looong cats! Again we see cats! Remember this too.

Now so far we know DE involves several cats! A minimum of three. Next up we have the organization that helped create them. Perihelion.

Perihelion: the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is closest to the sun.

Close to the sun, or something at its highest point. Peri, meaning close. Helio, meaning sun.

Here is where things get real.

A theatre is a building or outdoor area where dramatic performances are given. The original concept of theatre started outdoors. You know what else is outdoors? The sun. You know what people like to be close to? The stage in theatre.

You know who were famous for their theatre? The Greeks! Where does the term 'Perihelion' come from? The Greeks.

So Tetra, you ask, what does all this mean? I don't get it.

Cats. Theatre. Don't see it?

Cats the Musical.

Perihelion is a secret organization dedicated to reviving Cats! The musical and making it into a live-action movie.

Impossible, Tetra, you say!!! This makes no sense! AHA!!! But I have more evidence.

Cats is a sung-through musical composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber, based on the 1939 poetry collection Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot. It tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles and the night they make the "Jellicle choice," deciding which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.
  • Cats the musical is about cats 'ascending'. Perihelion's NAME is about the highest point.
  • Salem is a cat. Mewtwo is cat. Dusk is kinda cat. Cat's the musical is about cats.
  • A big theme about DE is about identity and new life. Cats! is about the cats coming back to a new life.
  • Dusk's name is based off the time of day, Dusk. You know what cats like to do? Come out at night.
  • One of the main players that kicks everything off in DE is Giovanni. What type of pokemon is Giovanni known for? A Persian. A cat.
  • A key song in Cats! is "Memory". One of the components of DE is memory. Salem often remembers her past life.
  • A main character in Cats! contemplates 'what the meaning of happiness is'. Salem (and others morphs) seek happiness and peace.

    AND FINALLYY!!!!


  • What does DE stand for??? DIFFERENT. EYES.
  • The Cats! Logo:
    1612848184294.png
  • EXPLAIN THAT!!!

There you have it folks. Different Eyes true nature has been exposed. I found you out @unrepentantAuthor
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
I'm deeply disappointed that I almost had this ready on April 1st and then forgot about it

Who is Kintsugi? A Dragon's Dance Theory

(this post contains spoilers for "Chapter 8: The Vigilante" and "Chapter 9: The Protege, Part 1", which might also be "Chapter 10: The Vigilante" and "Chapter 11: The Protege, Part 1" or "Part 2: Chapter 1: The Vigilante" and "Part 2: Chapter 2: The Protege, Part 1", depending on how your localization handles chapter numberings)

with that said, let's begin.

---

One of the most interesting things about Dragon's Dance is how it handles character reveals. The characterization and careful grounding of somewhat cartoonish archetypes into a more realistic setting is also good, but far and above the most interesting part is just knowing which characters will show up, and what kinds of pokemon they'll have, and if said pokemon will look good in fanart and title sequences.

So when the cycle is disrupted and a non-canon character is introduced, this is even more the cause for intrigue. What kind of clothing will they wear? How tall are they? What color are their orbs?

"Not many people can lay a hit on Kintsugi," Jiro said, examining the mottled bruise
An unastute Pokemon scholar might assume that Jiro is also an OC, which is false. After the reveal that Wataru was Lance all along, a twist no one could have seen coming except through fortuitous intellect (refer to my previous essay on the topic), it became clear that most of the human characters were actually canon characters rather than OC's.

Jiro is an obvious example of another such deception, and refers to Forrest, who English viewers may immediately recognize as Brock's anime-only younger brother who appears in 5 episodes, 3 of which are exclusively flashbacks. Given that the Pewter Gym Leader is Muno/Flint, it may be confusing to some readers as to how Jiro could possibly be close to Muno's age and also be Muno's son. I suspect that this points to a future plot point involving a time flute, Celebi, and a non-trivial amount of cashmere.

So with that issue neatly resolved, we must of course wonder who Kintsugi is, the only non-canon character* to show up in the entirety of Dragon's Dance. (* One might be confused because Hamako exists, but I believe Pen is actually misspelling this character instead. A common mistake.) Careful searching around the name "kintsugi pokemon" does indeed reveal that there is no one named Kintsugi associated in the Pokemon franchise, fandom or otherwise.

Looking through the text, there isn't much information given on Kintsugi. Kintsugi is cool, she is fast, she single-handedly 1v1's a dragon in a fight. She also seems to have some connection to the legendary pokemon of Kanto:
Kintsugi let out an irritated mew
Truly, fascinating.

The name Kintsugi itself seems to refer to some sort of ancient pottery thing. The origins itself seem fairly unclear but it seems to mention the color gold, and pottery, which is clearly a reference to a rock-type of some sort. The thematic implications of the term appear to have been lost to antiquity, so we must only refer to the literal understanding. Are there golden rock types? It doesn't seem so, although shiny Nosepass and Geodude may qualify, and would fit nicely in Jiro/Forrest's eventual role as Pewter City's Gym Leader. However, that simply doesn't seem to be the case--all names must have deeply complex and convoluted meanings, and the thematic implications pale in comparison to the sheer joy of understanding the logical reason for why this name is a good pun.

Perhaps Pen intended to go for an even more literal evocation of the name, such as a reference to general bop but critically unpopular "Kintsugi", the 2015 Album by Death Cab for Cutie. Looking at the track list for the album Kintsugi, it appears the answer is quite obvious and we are indeed on the right track:
unknown.png

Two things stand out about this list: first are the two blue tracks in the middle, "Black Sun" and "The Ghosts of Beverly Drive". Blue, being roughly the opposite of gold, is an obvious hint for our route forward, and not referencing that the other 9 songs on this album are pretty meh and were not well-received.

The second obvious hint is the final song: "Binary Sea", or more accurately, Binary C. The way forward is immediately clear.

We must first convert our seed text to binary:
"Black Sun"
"The Ghosts of Beverly Drive"
This yields the following string:
00100010 01000010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01010011 01110101 01101110 00100010 00100000 00001010 00100010 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000111 01101000 01101111 01110011 01110100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01101100 01111001 00100000 01000100 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100010
A simple C script can then be created to sum this string:
=
int main()
{
char string[] = "00100010 01000010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01010011 01110101 01101110 00100010 00100000 00001010 00100010 01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01000111 01101000 01101111 01110011 01110100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01000010 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01101100 01111001 00100000 01000100 01110010 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100010";
/*binary input for kintsugi*/
int count, nc = 0, sum = 0;

for (count = 0; string[count] != '\0'; count++)
{
if ((string[count] >= '0') && (string[count] <= '9'))
{
nc += 1;
sum += (string[count] - '0');
}
}
printf("str check %d\n", nc);
printf("str sum %d\n", sum);

return 0;
}
It is critically important that this step be conducted in C, both because of the hint in track 11 and because no other programming language could possibly perform such a task and it was absolutely necessary to study the difference between printf() and std::cout for this shitpost, my god, who the fuck, why.

Compiling this yields the following:
unknown.png

The sum is 142, which is coincidentally the dex number for Aerodactyl, a pokemon that comes from golden amber and is creating new life from a lost, idyllic past which can never be returned to, which doesn't really seem too themed to the name itself but is a cool detail to mention here. It also would be a perfect fit for Forrest, future rock-type specialist and time traveler.
 
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Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
Partners
  1. dratini
  2. dratini-pen
  3. dratini-pen2
Kint, when we agreed to brainswap on April 1st I did NOT give you permission to raffle through my brain for DD spoilers and then share them here. NOT FUNNY. Now I have to rewrite the whole next chapter, because as everyone knows, that's what a good author does when fans predict a plot twist.

So with that issue neatly resolved, we must of course wonder who Kintsugi is, the only non-canon character* to show up in the entirety of Dragon's Dance. (* One might be confused because Hamako exists, but I believe Pen is actually misspelling this character instead. A common mistake.)
I can't believe you would call out my pervasive typo like this. Let she who is without sin cast the first stone . . .

Careful searching around the name "kintsugi pokemon" does indeed reveal that there is no one named Kintsugi associated in the Pokemon franchise, fandom or otherwise.
Clearly you didn't search carefully enough. https://samon-region.fandom.com/wiki/Aurocyon_(Pokémon)
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
CD may be dead but legends never die. here is my very High Effort theory explaining why Mark is Natalie (and also Steven).

---

OSJ — Today at 8:23 PM
natalie armstrong ... ev

s t e v e n

coincidence? i think not.
kintsugi — Today at 8:24 PM
mark snort ... anagram for armstronk ...
OSJ — Today at 8:24 PM
COINCIDENCE!? I THINK NOT
kintsugi — Today at 8:24 PM
can I just post this directly into shitpost thread
for posterity
 

Flyg0n

Flygon connoisseur
Pronouns
She/her
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. swampert
  3. ho-oh
  4. crobat
  5. orbeetle
  6. joltik
  7. salandit
  8. tyrantrum
Here's one that came to me in the dead of night, as all proper and well founded theories do.

Neo and Novo from @HelloYellow17 's OSAS are secretly working for Team Cipher and are playing the long game. They want to lure Rui to their side and capture her. Yellow will inevitably post the moment when Wes has to fight the final boss and discovers Miror B is just Neo and Novo in a trenchcoat. They will have to kill Wes but Rui will save him because she's Celebi in disguise you see (this is clearly foreshadowed by her mentioning her hometown Agate and swearing by Celebi (her own name! It's a dead giveaway) plus the fact that Rui>Celebi they both end in 'i's its so painfully obvious). Yellow thinks she's doing a good job hiding this,

Anyways So then we find out that Wes is Arceus which is why he has a silver hair and he was reincarnated into a human form but something went wrong and he forgot who he was and Novo has been supressing his memories by using hypnosis you see. The true grand reveal though will come when it's revealed that OSAS isn't actually a historical account of the events of Orre but a ....

fanfiction.

I know. Who would do something like that.
 
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