Pokémon Continental Divides

[WildBoots]

Wow, hi, thank you both so much! Sorry for the typos—double whammy of my doc not syncing correctly and having to recorrect a few things + eye fatigue. Coulda, shoulda, woulda been more patient, but I’ve actually been sitting on this since late December, fussing with 500 words of it for ages, and I wanted very badly to cut the cord. I fixed some already and will clean up the rest in a day or two.

In the meantime, I think I’ve got them all now, but if anyone spots any error, you’re always welcome to point it out just in case.

Spoiler: HelloYellow Chapter 13 Reply

Did I drop everything when I got the notification that a new chapter was posted? Uh. Maybe. Y-you can’t prove anything! *sweats*

Omg, my little heart. 💔❤

Not sure if she intended to bail the whole time and her anxiety was just a cover, or if she just genuinely panicked and noped out of there. Either way, I’m not surprised.

I don’t think she planned it, but she made it clear from the beginning that she had concerns. Then big clonk, clonk metagross shows up? NOPE.

I can’t be too harsh on Cora here, though. She had to choose between getting her squad out safely or risking everyone’s safety to rescue the stragglers. Not an easy call, but it makes sense to protect the people she’s in charge of first.

Exactly. It’s possible that she assumed Mark teleported out with (most of) his team on purpose and that the flare was to prompt her to do the same: it would be hard to pick him out among the crowd at a distance.

Oh, hello, Zinnia! I think this is good news? I’m really not sure.

Definitely Mark’s vibe too, haha.

I could be wrong, but I want to say “was” should be “were” here?

I was so ready to die on the hill of “none = no one and has to be singular” but I think you’re actually right!

Seems fitting for her, though I can’t help but wonder if the risk is really worth it. After all, Pokeballs are your last defense against those police masterballs.

Definitely not the first or the last time someone will do something dodgy or risky on principle.

And here it is, the last nail in the coffin of Mark’s faith in MGMA. Well, maybe not the last one, but he’s on a pretty slippery downhill slide. Montag is a very calculative character to a fault, it seems. It also shows the difference between his methods and Archie’s methods: Where Archie operates from passion and emotion, Montag operates with logic and reasoning.

Accurate! Maxie is pretty damn cold and ruthless. We’ll be spending more time with ORCA soon for a deeper exploration of Archie’s end of things, but he’s definitely not so cold or controlled.

So we know that Zinnia is playing both sides here. She told Aqua about the pipeline so they could try to prevent the disaster, and then she showed up to help her people and others at MetFalls. I’m thinking she doesn’t agree with either team, and she’s trying to make a difference in a way that doesn’t hurt the region or innocent bystanders—which means she tries to mitigate the damage that ORCA and MGMA cause. This is all just my thoughts, I could be totally wrong here. But it seems like she’s on nobody’s side except Hoenn’s, and I respect the crap out of that.

Absolutely, you got it!

Spoiler: qva Chapter 13 Reply

wow! two mark chapters in a row! it's like you knew i started reading.

I planned for it to be one originally! 😭 But it turns out Mark had a lot to say about his crisis of faith. And our friend Delorean the friendly neighborhood tank had some things to say, too. Now these two chapters kinda parallel Chapters 3 & 4: a protest goes differently than expected, getting fucked up across the course of two chapters, and one of the protagonists’ eyes have been opened.

I’m really excited to return to Natalie, too. I love my coffeegoblin, but I’ve been stuck with him for more than a month now lol. And there’s some fun stuff happening at camp Aqua!

let it be known they are not Skipped.

👀 I look forward to it!

so! i think this is my favorite chapter so far. i can't remember if i just said that last time, but this time i mean it for real.

Man, maybe I can get you to say that every time! The next chapters will be (relatively) quieter so who knows. But! I’m glad to hear it landed! These two were real doozies.

it makes zinnia look cool as fuck by extension; not only has she tamed such powerful pokémon, but presumably her training and guidance is the reason for some of their boundless strength, too.

:D Yeah, I do think pokemon fight better with a trainer directing them, and that’s something I use to handwave letting pokemon drop off from a scene think about when I choreograph these scenes. Like, big tyrantrum is powerful, but it can’t think like a human and doesn’t necessarily know what the cops around it will do.

And Zinnia busted her ass for those dragons. Trying to explain her canon team dug me a weird hole that ended up becoming the basis of my modified Hoenn lore!

her cause is just. she definitely seems like someone with the potential to sort of unite both sides toward a common goal... iirc you mentioned that you didn't expect her to matter as much as she does, but it seems like a natural place for her character to go. i guess we'll see! 👀

Oh, make no mistake: I didn’t plan for her to be here from day 1, but now that she’s here, she’s important! In a story that has indigenous-coded folks, I can’t not have her be a key part of the decision-making about the future of Hoenn. Plus, there’s some shit coming down the, uh, pipeline, and dragons will be really helpful.

mark's development here is just... 👌 you can definitely see how things got to this point—he joined up with magma because they were doing something when no one else was, and it's not until he's unfathomably deep into their shit that he sort of gets his wits about him to realize, hey, maybe just doing anything isn't enough

Ah thank goodness. This was the part that kicked my ass in this chapter, making this land. So glad to hear it sounds like I got it finally! And “maybe just doing anything isn't enough” indeed!!! Big theme here in the first half. In the second half of the fic, I don’t think it’ll come up as much—maybe we will have learned something by then. But this isn’t the last time we’ll touch on that theme quite yet.

i'm excited to see where things go with montag. it seems like this conflict is really coming to a head with mark, but montag seems pretty good at beating him back into line when the need arises.

Funny you should say that ... 👀 That is definitely one of Montag’s skills.

i think we're still a long way off from ye fabled Enemies To Lovers.

Yeah, we gotta get Mark and Nat into the same room without trying to kill each other first, lol. It’s gonna be a while.

i have no doubt their thoughts on the devco data center thing will be complex... it's something that benefits them too, right?

Yeah, they won’t be sad to see Devon get a kick in the gut! But they’ve also decided on other priorities ....

really enjoying the speedy updates! 😁

Omg, I wish I could say I thought I’d be able to keep it up. This is still sort of my backlog from December. :c I would like to keep getting a chapter or two out per month though! That’s the goal!

i feel like there are a lot of semicolons going on here, enough that i noticed it and it took me out of the narrative a little.

You know, in the earlier chapters, I had ZERO. Now that I’ve let them in, I’ve got a bit of an infestation. I’ll take another look and thin some of them out.

i'm not over gibs yet and he only got like three seconds of screen time before getting yoinked. not this. :(

Yeah, Gibs has been missing for longer than he was present, lol!

i suspect this is temporary, no way mark goes pokémonless in seattle.

AHAHA I got a kick out of this.

wow, great. i despise and adore this piece of worldbuilding at once, good job.

More on this sooner or later! Fossils are important.

omg, i love this!? tactical light screen is fun, tactical infiltrator fucking rocks.

I forgot about infiltrator until I got to around this paragraph! Wouldn’t you know, Zinnia’s noivern does, in fact, run infiltrator! And 💡 in a setting where light screen/reflect/protect is so important, infiltrator is very, very broken.

i'm having a hard time imagining a noivern slither.

If someone else takes me to task over it, I’ll consider changing it, but I stand by it. I’m thinking both about how bats move on the ground and about noivern as long, lean, and somehow lizardy.

not sure if your headcanon is also that all dragons breathe green fire but mine sure is and i am appreciating the parallel.

I bet they could have some other colors, but I like the green as a way to signal what elements are in play. I skip move names a lot, so it’s nice to be able to give a hint. And it’s a good visual!!

hmm, i'm not sure i follow what's gong on here. picked what up...?

Ah shucks, I’ll have to clarify. Claydol and Meta are confused not because Octavia got them but because Steven got confused. They’re all up in his brain.

oh dang, it's a zen one huh? curious to hear that story.

I head canon that they all turn to stone under duress. (Rand does it in the Chapter 4 fight, too, and is also napping while made on stone in Chapter 9.) Not sure what I’d do with the set in the Unovan desert if I had to. They might be actual statues. Or maybe they’re in sort of a magical stasis. Dunno! But Rand is a ronk boy.

a larger what now.

Teeeeam. Yeah, this is one of the errors that resurfaced after I fixed it once, and I’m salty about it.

lol, not relevant to anything but this particular combination of items very much evokes shrek for me.

Welp, can’t unsee that now!

Oh and re: N t-pose (and Cheren, too): YES. I don’t think I can help but be in conversation with EoE at least a little. Questions of sacrifices and who makes them, Unovan dude .... Kint and Pen definitely wear their pokerights better, but it’s something I think about a lot. It’ll probably keep sneaking in.

I send you both a virtual cake. 🍰

 

[love]

Thoughts on chapter 13

The plateau rippled and bucked with such force that Mark feared the entire thing would come crashing down. Then his legs went out from under him, and he landed hard. When he managed to roll to his hands and knees, he tasted blood; he ran his tongue over his teeth to make sure they were all still there.

Maybe I took the "everything went sideways" too literally in the last chapter, but I was expecting Mark to have already fallen down at this point. Also, something about "his legs went out from under him" isn't sitting right with me. Part of it might be that my mind tends to flag "go" as a potentially generic verb, but I think another part of it is that the idiom "my legs were cut out from under me/went out from under me" for some reason makes me think that the cause is something sudden, like a sweeping kick or the floor shifting underneath you, whereas this seems like it happened over the course of a few seconds of him struggling to keep his balance.
Basically, it would make more sense to me if it said "Then he lost his balance and landed hard" or similar. I don't know if my reasoning makes sense, though.

But he was screaming at empty air. As if an invisible switch had been flipped, his teammates began to blink out of existence, first a scattered few, then all across the crowd, trainers madly recalling pokemon and grabbing for a neighbor before making the leap into the void.

So much for duty winning in the end huh. I suspect Raquel may have caused a domino effect. Though with that said, this makes me wonder if guerrilla tactics with teleport pokemon wouldn't be more effective than committed battles like this. Maybe warping in, sniping a squishy human with a long-ranged attack, then warping out? That is, if Magma is okay with killing people on purpose instead of just incidentally. (I mean, even if we don't see it, it's hard for me to believe that people don't die in battles like this)

He looked up in time to see the rebounding masterball shoot past Stone's smug, smiling face and join the others that orbited his claydol.

Gibs 2

At the sight of a teammate, Mark felt a rush of joy

Hm, joy may be a little extreme

Seems like Mark hasn't considered the possibility of arrest as deeply as I would have thought. But I've heard that tends to happen when you break the law.

But he couldn't leave Ore and Rand. He couldn't.

This could prove to be a really dumb choice, but I still got mad respect for it

Stone's metagross and Zinnia's salamence were still locked together in a cloud of dust, fumes, and metal flecks

Maybe I'm being dense here, but I don't see how the metagross managed to accomplish this. Like, the salamence could circle out of reach and just breath fire?

"Confuse ray!"

If you'll permit me to let out my inner edgelord a little—why not target him with a lethal attack? It's not like Magma is terribly worried about optics, and if they're morally okay with killing countless wild pokemon and animals in pursuit of their objectives, then why not humans? Just something that popped into my head. Could be that they just don't want things to escalate any further and have cops use lethal force.

It bellowed and exhaled green flames again

Mayhaps there is a stronger verb than "exhale", like "spew" or something

When the next ball burst open, Mark felt a familiar crackle of energy graze over his mind and thought his heart might burst with relief.

I felt that the "felt" could be cut

He paused dusting pine needles from his shoulders

Need a comma after paused?

He spoke as the realization hit him: "We were the distraction."

I thought he had already realized this when it said "Then he saw it: half of the Rustboro police force diverted to MetFalls. Steven Stone helicoptered in with his monstrous metagross."

as easy a kite on the wind.

as easy as

Fine, Montag couldn't have guessed that Mark would fuck it up the way he had—that hadn't been part of the plan. But Meteor Falls?

A couple things. First, it's interesting that Mark blames himself for fucking up, even though there didn't seem like an obvious way he could have done better? In a sense blaming himself is easier than admitting that maybe this plan wasn't really so good after all. It gives him a greater sense of control, even if it means being accountable for a mistake. Also, this is a very Magma-ish plan. Destroying the data center is more important to Montag than protecting MetFalls. Like with the whole Ridge Access situation, Montag prioritizes harming DevCo over directly protecting the land he ostensibly cares about. I guess he thinks this will help, but my opinion is that, ultimately, they can do whatever they want to DevCo and it kind of doesn't matter. A dozen other companies could take DevCo's place, no? DevCo might be drilling the oil, but it's not really running the show.

DevCo would get to build their pipeline—maybe not today, but soon enough. Losing the data center wouldn't inconvenience Devon enough to halt their projects … but it would motivate them to pull in more revenue quickly. Neither Magma nor Root Revolution nor the Draconids would be able to rally enough manpower in time to intercede: they were spread thin, too many of them tied up in personal legal fights now. Locals would hiss and complain for a little while, but eventually, normal life would take over again and they'd forget to be angry. The grass would regrow. Some or maybe even most of the pokemon would come back. The oil would trickle quietly beneath the surface, forgotten … until the day a valve blew or the protective coating wore away and thousands of gallons of crude painted the foothills black.

Yeah so I feel like Mark is kinda following a similar thought process as me at this point. They hurt DevCo, but did it accomplish anything? (Also, don't forget the global warming! :upsidedownsmile:)

Then we have some interesting character development and what struck me as a nice cinematic ending.

Anyway, this chapter was a lot of fun. Lots of action, lots of things happening. Petition to make Zinnia the protagonist?

 

[WildBoots]

Haha, @love sneaking in a review before the forum migration!

Spoiler: love Chapter 13

Maybe I took the "everything went sideways" too literally in the last chapter, but I was expecting Mark to have already fallen down at this point.

It was first written as one looong, continuous chunk. So my thought was that "everything went sideways" described what happened and the following paragraph (top of this chapter) offered more detail. But, sure, I could reshuffle sentences here to try to address what you're pointing out.

I suspect Raquel may have caused a domino effect.

She 100% did.

Though with that said, this makes me wonder if guerrilla tactics with teleport pokemon wouldn't be more effective than committed battles like this. Maybe warping in, sniping a squishy human with a long-ranged attack, then warping out? That is, if Magma is okay with killing people on purpose instead of just incidentally. (I mean, even if we don't see it, it's hard for me to believe that people don't die in battles like this)

When I write Magma (and Aqua too, in different ways) I'm thinking of real-life eco radicals. Earth Liberation Front has historically been down to burn down condos or ski resorts, but they plan their attacks at times when these buildings are empty to avoid harming human life. Also, pokemon that can teleport aren't especially prevalent here--thank god, because it's a terribly, terribly broken mechanic. Not everyone has one. This'll be expanded next time we see Mark, but the goal here was to "hold the plateau ... and if for some reason you can't, teleport out." In Montag's mind, they were always going to have to teleport out, but that was fine with him.

Seems like Mark hasn't considered the possibility of arrest as deeply as I would have thought.

Yes and no. He's been arrested before, but not with Magma. Usually, there are structures in place to get away. He's started to take it for granted.

Maybe I'm being dense here, but I don't see how the metagross managed to accomplish this. Like, the salamence could circle out of reach and just breath fire?

It does have psychic powers. Plus, I would think that salamence would have to get a running start to fly--it's pretty bulky. It wouldn't have had much of a chance to take off, especially if it's trying to stay close to Mom.

If you'll permit me to let out my inner edgelord a little—why not target him with a lethal attack? It's not like Magma is terribly worried about optics, and if they're morally okay with killing countless wild pokemon and animals in pursuit of their objectives, then why not humans? Just something that popped into my head. Could be that they just don't want things to escalate any further and have cops use lethal force.

Mark has had opportunities before to use lethal force (like in the fight with Natalie) and didn't. He's a lot of things, but he's not a killer.

This is also definitely a world that doesn't value the lives of non-humans as highly as everything else, much like ours. :-/

And Magma is very concerned with optics! Ridge Access was all about the media spin, and so is this.

I thought he had already realized this when it said "Then he saw it: half of the Rustboro police force diverted to MetFalls. Steven Stone helicoptered in with his monstrous metagross."

Sure, but then right after: Montag’s plan had never been just the pipeline, not when he could destroy one of their buildings, too.

He still thinks that preventing the pipeline build was part of Montag's plan. He's realizing something he doesn't want to accept, so it's coming in pieces. It's one thing to accept that Montag was trying to do multiple things, another to accept that he was bait.

it's interesting that Mark blames himself for fucking up, even though there didn't seem like an obvious way he could have done better? In a sense blaming himself is easier than admitting that maybe this plan wasn't really so good after all. It gives him a greater sense of control, even if it means being accountable for a mistake.

I mean, he wasn't supposed to split the party to try to shield the Draconids. That let the cops cut between them, split them up further, and ultimately led to the messy teleport bailout that Raquel triggered. But I think you're right that it's also about wanting to feel some kind of control!

Like with the whole Ridge Access situation, Montag prioritizes harming DevCo over directly protecting the land he ostensibly cares about. I guess he thinks this will help, but my opinion is that, ultimately, they can do whatever they want to DevCo and it kind of doesn't matter. A dozen other companies could take DevCo's place, no? DevCo might be drilling the oil, but it's not really running the show.

Ah, yes and no. Let's imagine that Magma was there to defend the build site. Very noble, yes, yes. But DevCo isn't going to accept defeat, and they have the legal basis for taking that land. They would keep coming until they eventually overpowered whoever stood in the way. That was never a longterm solution anyway. Same thing with attacking politicians: sure, we can point towards the names that Steven dropped in the board room chapter, but it's not like those people wouldn't be easily replaceable. (Like in the US, there are dozens of politicians lined up to replace Trump. Getting rid of him doesn't solve the underlying issues.) Politics change slowly ... but, also, these megacorporations don't crop up over night, either. I don't think one company would be able to immediately replace another ... and they'd have the threat of Magma hanging over them. If they took out DevCo, what would stop them from similarly targeting pokemon Amazon or pokemon Monsanto or whatever? But you're right to question the ethics and the effectiveness of these tactics. Magma isn't meant to be emulated. :)

They hurt DevCo, but did it accomplish anything?

I guess we'll find out. : )

Then we have some interesting character development and what struck me as a nice cinematic ending.

:D

Petition to make Zinnia the protagonist?

She will get a chapter to herself pretty soon! Look forward to that!

Thanks as always for taking the time to share your thoughts. I'll address those prose errors real quick aaaand keep on truckin'. 📝 💪

 

[Flaze]

Well this is a review that's been a week in the making...I really gotta make these a lot quicker all things considered, but a lot happened during this last week.

So I'll start this review by picking up where I left off since chapter 13 is the second part of the story that started back in chapter 12 and as thus the themes and ideas explored in chapter 12 follow from each other.

And the big detail here continues to be the fact that Mark is realizing that Magma isn't as clean as he thought it was, this time it's made even clearer and I think he's...90% gotten the idea down. I particularly like the way in which his scene with Zinnia pans out.

But enough about that, I can talk more about the way the chapter develops and how the different themes made me feel later, since I can be a little redundant mentioning it there and in the highlights.

On the more technical aspect I really liked the way you carried the action here. Your prose is always very punchy and fast during action scenes and here they do a great job of carrying both the last leg and the end of the battle against the police. Steven is a particular highlight as his pokemon and himself feel like a legitimate threatening presence all the while still acting like he's just in another boring meeting or photoshoot.

That's...a really cool detail, because we've seen Steven the star, Steven the businessman and Steven the archeologist, but this is the first time we see Steven the super rich corporate mogul who throws his power around without a second thought and thinks he's the best in the universe. It helps us see a different side of him that also brings out all of the worst tendencies we only got hints of back in chapter 7 and chapter 10. His cold, methodical way of dealing with problems, his cheeky and overconfident attitude and his tendency to always steal the spotlight in a room. It's all turned up to eleven here.

And really on the technical aspect I think your prose is still the best thing, I mean everything about this fic is amazing. But just the way you manage flow and wording always makes me want to read even if the chapter is long or if I'm busy or if I get distracted.

Hux was down, legs splayed. Mark cursed and recalled him. If he could just get a second of cover, he could patch his bastiodon up. He threw out Jemisin's pokeball and then dropped behind the gigalith.

Mark is packing some real fire power right there, most of his team are heavy hitters. Well I guess that does make up for Gibs being more stealth-based and Ore being the watch tower.

Oh no.

"Raquel—"

And then, with a pop, she was gone.

I told you over discord but I really did think Raquel had just...popped out of existence. But turns out she really just ran away, which is a fair assessment. It's also a good reflection to Mark and a conclusion between the comparisons that had been made between the two, as Raquel also realized that...they're kind of fucked and the cause probably isn't worth everything they're going through, so she leaves because she's still new to Magma while Mark stays.

But he was screaming at empty air. As if an invisible switch had been flipped, his teammates began to blink out of existence, first a scattered few, then all across the crowd, trainers madly recalling pokemon and grabbing for a neighbor before making the leap into the void.

I honestly did not expect for the whole of Magma to just leave like that. I get that when things get that bad it's kind of every man for themselves and Cora did misunderstand what Mark was saying. But still

This also paints a really scathing image for Mark as he now realizes that, misunderstanding or not, his comrades wasted no time in turning tail and not thinking on who they might be leaving behind. Something that Mark is going to be learning more about pretty soon.

He'd gotten himself out of tight positions before. His only possible escape was behind him, into the heart of Meteor Falls. Getting to the cave mouth would be dicey, but fighting to leave something was much easier than fighting to keep it. His pokemon could clear the way.

I didn't get it here but I like how he also worried on what the Draconids would do in order to escape. It's a good way of showing that Mark's gotten more openminded and conscious of his surroundings.

The solrock was frozen in place, not even twitching. It buzzed so loudly that Mark felt it in his teeth. For the second time, radio static burst through his skull—west end secure. Copy—and then the light screen popped like a soap bubble.

I've mentioned it a lot, both in the last review and this one, but I really like these kinds of subtle yet viceral imagery where you say so much while using as few words as possible. Here we get a perfect encapsulation of the moment Mark fully realized how screwed he was, from the dialogue he picks up on to Ore's light screen being shattered after taking quite a beating.

Then something black whizzed through his peripheral vision, and Ore's presence in his mind suddenly cut off. By the time Mark turned his head, Ore was gone.

ORE NOOOOO!!! ;-;

"That's one of the leaders, right? I want to meet him."

Ooooh, a Steven and Mark meet up. Well it ended up being a lot less dramatic than I expected but it was still interesting to see these two interject.

Stone let that sink in before he spoke again. "So, where did you get that bastiodon? That's more than theft, you know. That's copyright infringement."

Leave it to Devon to make it so you can't revive a pokemon in Hoenn unless it's through them. Well it does tie into the games and I guess it does make sense that they can't just let anyone run around with a revived dinosaur in their pocket (although the're no different to the normal dinosaurs)

Would they release them into the wild? And what about Rand and Jem, Unovan natives? It seemed unlikely that a Hoenn police department would bother with the cost of shipping pokemon across the ocean. No, they'd more likely be sold at a police auction to some spoiled little shit hoping to fast-track their badge quest. Would they think he'd abandoned them? Or maybe they'd be left to gather dust in a filing cabinet.

Pretty cool worldbuilding detail here. So rich kids get to have better starters, including those that the police might've picked up from criminal trainers...that's kinda fucked up not gonna life. It does make me wonder what the process for handling those foreign pokemon is after all.

The smack he expected never came. Instead, in a jumble of shouts and radio commands, the cops all ducked behind their riot shields. Overhead, the light screen was still intact, but the noivern had slipped through somehow. It was hardly more than a blur ripping along the crowd, knocking polycarbonate shields and pokemon aside with its wings and tail as it went. Finally, with a hiss, it landed among the officers it had stricken prone. A riot shield cracked under one foot.

That noivern has some real power behind its attacks! This paragraph also marked a pretty big shift in the chapter and one I didn't expect either, I mean I figured Mark would get out somehow but I didn't think it'd be through Zinnia showing up.

Zinnia clung to the salamence's neck. When it dropped to all fours with a ground-shaking thump, she leapt down, black cloak streaming behind her, and bolted for the protesters. "Tacca, clear the way!" The noivern slithered ahead, slapping police and pokemon aside. Cheers rose up then, and Zinnia grinned as she whipped a long hunting knife from her hip.

Having said that I said above, it does make sense for Zinnia to be there. However, knowing what we know...is she really just there because of her people? I can imagine her helping out specifically to help out the draconids, the fact she ends up helping the few Magma members still there is just a plus. I feel like otherwise she would've been fine with just blowing up the server. It's still great though because it builds on our prior knowledge about Zinnia's neutral stand and that she's playing both sides while secretly just doing her own thing.

He felt naked without Ore, but he knew his pokemon were counting on him. He had to try. Before he could second-guess himself, Mark took off running, Octavia's ball in hand. He hoped the dust and smoke in the air would provide him some cover.

I really like how you characterize Mark's courage and love for his pokemon. You've made this very clear throughout the whole story as well, but it really says a lot that Mark is willing to fight even if it means getting killed by the ex-champion's super pokemon.

Mark didn't get within thirty feet of Stone before the claydol caught him in an invisible grip and yanked him to a stop mid-air, but Octavia was much faster. She shot past him, trailing lights that flickered and pulsed colors that hurt to look at. Mark was powerless to turn his head, so he shut his eyes instead.

Only as they veered away from Meteor Falls did Mark see how many of his team and the protesters were still left behind, little specks of color among the gray. The longer he looked, the dizzier he became. He squeezed his eyes shut against the wind and the bone-crunching drop to earth below. The salamence was all power and pumping muscle, surprisingly warm beneath him, and Mark tried not to think about anything but the space between one wingbeat and the next.

Mark decided he hated teleporting slightly less than flying.

This reminded me of Harry Potter a little bit lol, though I would think flying would at least be cooler.

he air was still save

I think you meant safe there.

When the tyrantrum burst forth with a roar, Zinnia wrapped her arms around its leg and cried, "Kalmara!" With astonishing gentleness, it lowered its massive head to snuffle her hair.

Dawww. I know you based it on birds but that's still like a big dino doggo all things considered.

When the next ball burst open, Mark felt a familiar crackle of energy graze over his mind and thought his heart might burst with relief. "Ore! Thank fucking gods. You okay?" The solrock trilled and made a loop around him before it held still long enough to let Mark press a hand to its side; Ore buzzed with an echo of his own joy. "Yeah, you too."

ORREEEEE

I mean I was all ready for the suffereing of seeing Mark dealing without most of his team but I'm glad that he got them bad. Though shame on you for making me afraid.

"Well. She's not the first dragon stolen by the Hoenn state, hmm?" Her grin wobbled and then became fiercer. "The rest of us will just have to fight even harder. For Harsumna. For Aster. For all those who came before and all who will come after."

Nice nod towards Aster there. I'm also really interesting in learning more about the Draconids and Zinnia's past, considering she seems on her way to being a regular maybe you'll be exploring that front a little more (?)

none of them was in great shape, really, but

I may be missing something but shouldn't that be were?

Montag's plan had never been just the pipeline, not when he could destroy one of their buildings, too.

Even I can't believe myself how willing Montag was to sacrifice so many Magma members for...I mean nothing in the long run. It's really telling about the ways in which Magma is secretly operated and how it's a group that doesn't really have Hoenn's best interests at its core. All Montag's doing is creating chaos in the hope that it'll slowly erode away at society but not only is he not thinking about the people that are affected from those actions, I feel like he also doesn't realize how easily his plans could backfire.

Mark had always nodded along before, but … fuck, when had he become disposable?

Okay, I'll use this chance to finally close out all my thoughts about Marky Mark. I started the last review by talking about how Natalie and Mark are in similar trajectories but at different points. Mark was like Natalie back in Unova and his relationship with Montag up to this point was a lot like Natalie's relationship with Sinbad. At the end of the day they're two young people trying their best to make sense of their live and also feel like they're making some kind of a difference in the world, all while asserting their independence.

Unfortunately...they're still not doing that. Mark was living under Montag, following his philosophies and ideals, and Natalie is in danger of falling into that same rut by following Sinbad. I really love this parallel between the two and I think it'll be key going forward since depending on how they move Mark might be the only one that can help Natalie see the light before it's too late.

As checked his belt

I think you meant to say "As he checked his belt"

Well I've talkd a lot and this review took a loooooong time to write, mostly because of life and my time going by faster than liate. It's probably not as good as my last few since I lost a few other thoughts I had while reading it, but I still really loved this chapter and am really looking forward how it'll progress.

 

[WildBoots]

Hi again, Flaze!

Well this is a review that's been a week in the making...

Pfff, I appreciate you taking the time to review, period. I'm not the type to sit tapping my foot waiting for a review. I'm grateful for what I get. 🙏

Spoiler: Flaze Chapter 13

I think he's...90% gotten the idea down.

Yeah that final, critical 10% hasn't fully set in yet, lol. Learning is hard. Un-learning is maybe harder.

I particularly like the way in which his scene with Zinnia pans out.

Yay! That was the trickiest part of this chapter, so I'm glad to hear the final version lands.

we've seen Steven the star, Steven the businessman and Steven the archeologist, but this is the first time we see Steven the super rich corporate mogul who throws his power around without a second thought and thinks he's the best in the universe. It helps us see a different side of him that also brings out all of the worst tendencies we only got hints of back in chapter 7 and chapter 10. His cold, methodical way of dealing with problems, his cheeky and overconfident attitude and his tendency to always steal the spotlight in a room. It's all turned up to eleven here.

He's multifaceted. 💎

Mark is packing some real fire power right there, most of his team are heavy hitters. Well I guess that does make up for Gibs being more stealth-based and Ore being the watch tower.

The darmanitan is his heaviest hitter! Gigalith can hit pretty hard, but it's slow. In-game, solrock is normally a physical attacker, but Mark's is a weirdly defensive build. Golbat and liepard are mostly support/setup here. And bastiodon ... it's mostly physical defense with legs attached, and only in this setting would it have any practical use at all. In the games, that 4x weakness to both fighting and ground combined with its terrible speed renders it pretty useless.

I really did think Raquel had just...popped out of existence.

Well, she kinda did! I think of teleportation as in one spot then suddenly in another, which is different from how dark-types jump: I picture another plane under the one that we can sense, something like the nazghoul sequences in the Lord of the rings movies. They might be invisible, both to human eyes and to psychics, but they still have to cover the same distance to move from place to place in that shadow plane that they would in our physical plane. Ghosts move through the same plane as us, but instead of jumping around it like teleporting psychics, they can toggle their visibility on and off and walk through walls.

I think you meant safe there.

Nope! "Save for" = "except for."

Nice nod towards Aster there. I'm also really interesting in learning more about the Draconids and Zinnia's past, considering she seems on her way to being a regular maybe you'll be exploring that front a little more (?)

Yup! More on her ... soon! Relatively soon, anyway. In the foreseeable future.

I may be missing something but shouldn't that be were?

I think I've already corrected this one, but yeah I decided that was right. I was taught that "none" = "no one" and has to be singular, but I think that's outdated now.

I feel like he also doesn't realize how easily his plans could backfire.

I think he doesn't realize just how volatile Mark is. 🙃

I'll use this chance to finally close out all my thoughts about Marky Mark.

Omg did you just--

depending on how they move Mark might be the only one that can help Natalie see the light before it's too late.

I think some of this is possible, but this isn't going to be a story where either of them hands each other all the answers. They've got some opportunities to learn from each other for sure. As you said, they might think they're very different from each other, but they have all the world in common. But they'll each have their own learning to do, too. When they start to align more, I want them to feel like equals, not like the next version of the Archie/Maxie pedestals they've each built.

I think you meant to say "As he checked his belt"

dksfjsdklfjlskdjf yes, yes I did. Thanks. Fixed it in my doc, will correct the online version when I get a chance.

Thanks again! I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter. :D I'm going to scuttle away and try to make more words happen now.

* keyboard mashing sounds *

 

[Cresselia92]

Hey there! Belated, but here I am with another helping of Catnip for this story. :)

Things are starting to pick up pace here... I like that!

Without further ado, let's go with reactions and general thoughts!

Spoiler: Reactions

Chapter 2: Testing Grounds​

The locker room muffled the bellowing and crashing of sparring pokemon, but Mark's head throbbed with each vibration through the floor. It's gonna be a long day. The door opened as he was tossing down a couple of Ibuprofen.

Regular solutions for regular problems. It's interesting to see that you're using regular medicine rather than having a Pokémon use Aromatherapy or similar stuff.

"There you are," said Hilary. She swept past him to her locker, dabbing sweat from her face with a floral handkerchief. "Aisha is all set to take over as soon as Casey's fight ends—like, any second now, from the looks of it. So, you're okay for a minute, but buckle up because there are a lot of kids lined up today. Whew."

Hmm... I guess it's a me thing, but I generally like to have some information to describe someone, even one-time characters. Just a little something to see them as more than "names" and shadows. Though, if there are some clues later, that's okay, too.

Mark stood, fussing with his collar while he watched Hilary from the corner of his eye. "By the way ... Did you decide if you're coming to the new member meeting? "

"Oh." Hilary looked down, twisting and untwisting her handkerchief. "I get why you're disappointed with Roxanne. And I know you're not the only one either. But she's still a good person. Like, think about all the time and effort she's put into our schools alone."

There's some shady stuff happening here... and someone isn't a fan of Roxanne, either.

He couldn't help himself. "You're not gonna lose your job for one meeting. There's gonna be cookies and shit."

You got me at "cookies". :3

Mark hadn't expected a lot from her, but he'd hoped a self-professed nature-lover would at least be interested in becoming more informed about what her employer was allowing to happen at Meteor Falls. He set his jaw, considering his words carefully. "I don't think Roxanne is a bad person. I just don't agree with everything she does. But I'm still part of the team. I won't bring it up again."

Ooh, more info! Nice! (Now I'm picturing this Hilary as some kind of hippie. Dunno why.)

And interesting. I wonder what is Roxanne allowing...

The challenger sent out a lotad, who squinted in the sudden light, and Mark had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He could tell by the way it moved that the lotad would be no match for any of his pokemon ... but his job was to filter out incompetent trainers, not to figure out who was actually skilled. His ratio of wins to losses had been too high this month, according to Roxanne. Higher than hers. So if a challenger demonstrated any kind of basic knowledge … he'd let them continue on and become her problem.

This is an interesting perspective of the role of Gym Trainers. It must be pretty boring to have to hold back every time while facing newer Trainers. Makes me wonder why they don't have younger/more inexperienced Pokémon to close the gap, but I suppose younger/inexperienced become older/experienced as they go, so... yeah, it's a bit of a lose-lose no matter what.

After letting the lotad struggle against his solrock for what felt like a reasonable amount of time, Mark threw the match and took Aisha's place on the sidelines, which was even more boring. In theory, he was supervising the match to ensure fair play. In reality, it required little from him but to announce the rules and then wait for the fight to end. Today, at least, he had plenty to think about.

Then he switched places with Aisha to do it again. And again.

Yeah... definitely a looong day!

Aisha called, "Challenger! What's your name?" She took such pleasure in the ritualized call and response. Mark, when he had to referee between his own battles, skipped the theatrics and just did his job.

"Natalie Armstrong."

Does she play the trumpet?

There was only one gym-approved pokemon left for him to choose from. "Let's make it count, Orwell," he said, and released his solrock.

Immediately, he felt the prickle of Orwell's presence along the edges of his mind, an unintelligible buzz. With no command, the solrock took a defensive stance between him and Natalie, raising a shield of purple light over Mark like it did every time. He imagined that, from its perspective, there was no distinction between a gym battle and any other kind of fight. It was a good habit.

Using a psychic barrier before the start of a match, huh? Isn't that cheating?

"And you may choose your fighter."

Natalie watched the solrock hover for a moment. Then she grinned. "Go, Luna," she said, and released a mightyena onto the field. It didn't snarl or pace, simply waited for an order. But its ears lay flat at the sight of the opposing pokemon.

He'd been ready for her to choose a grass- or water-type like most of the rookie trainers did. Sometimes the particularly aspiring ones, like the kid with the lotad, got creative and tried to cover both bases simultaneously. A dark-type was interesting, though. He was curious to see what she'd do with that.

Well, Dark-type is still bad news for a Psychic, so it makes sense. But yes, it's a nice choice.

"Alright, Luna, do it!"

One moment the mightyena prowled along the edges of the sandbox. The next moment it lunged and vanished in a swirl of black vapor.

Orwell made a low keening and slowly spun in place as it tried and failed to find the mightyena.

All at once, a black cloud flowered in the air above the solrock and the mightyena leapt from within. It pounced, trailing black vapor, and knocked Orwell to the floor.

Ooh! Feint Attack? Nice! I like the "vanish to black vapor" bit.

The mightyena made it onto its side when Orwell smashed into it again. The solrock swooped for another hit, but the mightyena bared its teeth and snapped up at Orwell. The mightyena's legs were in the air, belly exposed, but the shadows on the arena floor wavered threateningly as it began to growl. The two pokemon hung in a deadlock for a long moment, each twitching in preparation for attack but flinching away from follow-through. Finally Orwell levitated away, back to its defensive position in front of Mark, allowing the mightyena to roll onto all fours once again and shake itself off.

Things are getting very interesting. I like this part! Truly shows the determination of both Pokémon.

As the mightyena took off running for his solrock, Mark commanded, "Rockslide!"

Orwell's eyes glowed like heated coils, and the sandbox walls rumbled.

"Luna, watch out!"

By the time the mightyena managed to slide to a stop, sections of the rock wall were already crumbling and crashing down on top of it. There was a sharp whine, and then there was only the sound of rock settling.

Ah, so the rocks don't appear from nowhere -- they need to extract them from some place. So, does that mean that Rock Slide would fail in certain places, like... in the middle of the sea? Unless a Pokémon summoned rocks from the abyss, I suppose.

Natalie gasped and winced, watching from between her fingers.

"I don't wanna see that!"

Come on. Really? Mark folded his arms.

The dust slowly cleared, revealing boulders scattered across the sandbox and no sign of the mightyena. It reappeared a moment later in a whorl of shadows. But it was holding up one paw to avoid putting weight on it.

Ouch! That must have hurt. Poor pooch.

With a bitter smile, Mark called out, "Put it in the ring of fire." He wasn't sure if he was more pleased to finally allow himself his first win of the shift or disappointed to have made such quick work of her.

That sounds a bit like a mouthful. From a command, I would expect something quick and succinct, like "Go with a ring of fire!" or even "Ring of fire!" Otherwise, you're giving precious seconds to the opponent to make a comeback with a speedier command.

Still, it could be a Mark thing. I just believe that orders should be speedy.

Purple light radiated from Orwell and then lashed towards the other pokemon, bursting into flames. The mightyena jumped back, but was soon caught inside a circle of purple fire.

"Good. Scramble it," Mark ordered. He was careful not to look directly at the beam of light the solrock shot from its eyes, shimmering through the air like a heat mirage.

Not sure if this is some fire attack or Solar Beam. Inclined toward the latter for its light properties, but it could help to narrow down an attack with a few extra details, like "the beam of grass energy" or similar stuff.

"Come on, Luna! Jump through!" As the first rocks tumbled down from the arena's edge, the mightyena tucked its tail and whimpered. "Luna, go! You can do it!" The mightyena lowered its head, tensed, and then bounded between falling boulders and through the fire. Mark could smell the burning hair. The mightyena moved clumsily, less a run than a three-legged jumble in motion. Rock tumbled all around. Many of them hit. Still, Natalie's mightyena flung itself toward the solrock.

"Bury it."

"Crunch it!"

The mightyena barked and, from nowhere, a pair of shadowy jaws appeared around Orwell and snapped shut. The solrock tried to spin free, but the shadow-teeth yanked it down. As it struggled, the solrock let go of the light shield over Mark and let rocks drop at random all over the sandbox.

The mightyena wove between fallen rocks and drew closer—still wobbling, but it didn't matter now. It bared its real teeth, and the shadowy phantom jaws pressed tighter around the solrock. Pieces crumbled off one of Orwell's fins.

Man! This part is so exciting! Things are getting serious here!

Mark winced. He hated leaving Ore exposed, and he wished he could send out Gibs to catch the mightyena from behind. His liepard was a quicker, quieter shadow-walker—she wouldn't see him coming. Or Rand, his darmanitan, could send the mightyena flying with one swipe. Instead Ore had to take the fall alone.

I mean, you could have arranged for a Triple Battle, pal. But if you can send more Pokémon, so should she. :p

He'd better let Ore take it easy for the rest of the day—they had a long day ahead of them tomorrow.

All the same, Mark realized he was smiling. He'd never intended to hand it to Natalie, but he'd hoped she'd win.

The mightyena threw its head back in a howl, and its shadowy jaws clenched harder, squeezing and squeezing until Orwell's light went out.

"Drop it, Luna."

With a snort and a toss of the mightyena's head, the shadowy jaws disintegrated, leaving Orwell to topple into the dirt. Mark recalled his pokemon.

Natalie looked up at Aisha, waiting for the official call that she'd won. Her mightyena, though, watched Mark. That was good, too.

"The match goes to the challenger! Congratulations!"

Yo! Congrats on the win, Natalie! That was cool!

The gym would almost certainly not be open tomorrow, but he couldn't say that here. And if she came back to the gym at her usual time—

Hm? Okay, are you planning to raid the Gym or something? Something tells me that the Gym won't open because for... reasons of force majeure.

"Finally," Aisha said under her breath as she passed him.

"It was important."

"Yeah, looked like it."

Aisha is thinking that they were arranging a date, huh? :p

As the battle below started in earnest and Mark knelt to tend to Orwell, he briefly entertained the idea of bringing Natalie to the protest with him tomorrow—he could watch out for her, keep her from getting into more trouble than she could handle.

But he knew it was a bad idea, and not just because he'd already have his hands full. She didn't act timid and complacent like Hilary, but neither was he fooled by her show of bravado: she was unsure of herself. He didn't want to scare her off with too much too fast or give her the wrong idea. Better to keep it in a space where he could control the conversation.

There was no reason to rush.

Aww. I find this cute. Does he want to keep her safe from something? :3

She grinned. "He's your baby."

"I don't think he's my anything. He's made it clear I'm his." He shook his head—derailed already. "Anyway. You wanna walk?"

Yep! Cat being a cat, no doubt about it.

"Have you ever been to a protest before?"

She deflated slightly. "First time for everything."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Natalie slowed to a stop, still smiling but now with a hardness to it. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that it's not gonna be like you think. But the group I mentioned—they do trainings. Deescalation strategies, how and when to keep formation, police tactics to watch for, what to do if you get arrested. Things like that. I think you'd really benefit from it."

"Wait, are you really trying to tell me not to go?" Natalie snorted. "I thought that was the point."

"I'm saying," Mark said, fighting to keep the frustration from his voice, "that there are other first steps. This one is gonna be ugly, Natalie."

Uh oh. This definitely sounds like something that could escalate quickly. And if the police is involved, it could be potentially illegal.

She crossed her arms and cocked her hip. "I'm not scared of ugly."

He fought hard against the urge to roll his eyes. "It's not about scared. It's about being smart. You could get hurt if you're not—"

"I'm going. So are you coming or not?"

Part of Mark wanted to laugh. It's a protest, not a fucking date, Natalie. But what was he supposed to say? Of course he'd be there, but she couldn't exactly join him. And to explain that …. He didn't trust her enough for the complete truth yet.

His silence had lasted too long.

"Incredible," Natalie said, shaking her head.

No, fuck—there had to be something else he could—

She drew in a sharp breath and said, "You know, it's okay. I'll figure it out. I'll see you around, maybe." Without waiting for him to answer, she whistled for her pokemon and cut down another street.

Nice job breaking it, hero!

Bonus art of Orwell the solrock by Wolflyn here.​

Ah! Even with the bruise on the face, he still looks fab!

---

Alright, time for some general feedback.

So! I've got to say that what I liked the most about this chapter was the battle. I'm a huge fan of battles, and the confrontation between Orwell and Luna was really well done. It showed both the chill approach of Mark and the more brute force approach of Natalie, which is a good way to differentiate their approach.

Also, wow. This truly shows that the life of a Gym Trainer isn't easy and can be almost boring. Though, I wonder about Roxanne and the protest, and what is the deal about them... well, I guess both things will be revealed in due time!

For some commentary about the writing itself, it might be me, but... I feel like it could use some extra descriptions. Like, there was plenty of focus on the various dialogs and ways in which things are handled at the Gym, but the picture of the Gym itself and its Trainers is a bit nebulous and blank. Probably the purpose was to let the audience fill the blanks and/or you considered those details not important, but... yeah, it's most likely a me thing, but I really enjoy experiencing the various senses as I dive into a setting. Mentions of dust and sweat were good and painted a more vivid detail, imo. I would have appreciated a bit more of that (like a thrashed battlefield once the Pokémon were done fighting?)

Anyway, things are starting to go into full action, what with the incoming protest and whatnot.

Cool stuff, though! Keep up the good work. :D

 

[Adamhuarts]

It's been a long time since I binge read an entire fic in a short duration, and reading the whole of Continental Divides was as thrilling as it was draining. There's just so much to talk about that I don't know how to fit it all into a review without summarizing and glossing over a lot of things. However, I'll try to make it at least coherent, useful feedback to you.

STORY​

The story of this fic is certainly what I'd consider unique compared to your run of the mill pokemon story, though that is not to say that it's something never seen before. In fact, I've read other fics with roughly similar plot lines, some you might already know about, but I'll admit the comparisons often end at them all having aqua and magma which at this point is to be expected of fics taking place in Hoenn.

What drew me to this fic is how mature it felt, and much more grounded too. The main conflict has plenty real world parallels to draw from and even the way the pokemon fight and function feels less cartoony and almost grounded in possible physics.

The fact that the story handles themes surrounding climate change and activism is very interesting, and I greatly appreciate the level of care that went in conveying that message. This is a subject matter that could easily be mishandled or done sloppily, and I can say with confidence that you excelled at it and did a fantastic job at integrating that into the world of pokemon.

Seeing the characters all undergo their own journeys, as well as their flaws and strengths clashing together was compelling, and that's the kind of storytelling I'm here for.

CHARACTERS AND THEMES​

I recall in a conversation when you said that passion Is a prevalent theme throughout the story. At the time I associated the word with creative endeavors, so I had to do more thinking to see what you meant. I totally didn't just check the dictionary Passion is the strong drive and conviction towards a goal, and that absolutely tracks with the actions of the central characters in this story.

With the main two of Natalie and Mark, it's pretty interesting seeing that they both share the same passion of advocating against habitat destruction and the suffocation of the planet by careless corporations, but circumstances inevitably turn them into enemies due to how they do things.

Natalie is the one who's new to this and very early on the harshness of reality bared their fangs against her. Despite that, she never did give up and was convicted to help In whatever way she could. She has currently found that answer in the form of joining her brother in ORCA, but time will tell whether she made the right choice and if ORCA or any side is the right one to join here.

Mark on the other hand is basically if Natalie had already been at this for some years already. He's a bit of an asshole at times, but he's often shown to be caring towards his juniors and members of his group. I honestly thought I'd hate him, especially with his clashes with Natalie and other stuff, but him not being an ass 100% of the time certainly helped lol. Just like Nat, he has a very strong motivation in bettering the world but just without any of the naivety, a shell that even Nat is starting to shed off. His methods aren't the best, and neither is his trust of Montag. Despite his efforts, he's still ultimately treated as just another piece on the board, and that's already begun to form cracks in his belief in Magma's way of doing things.

Steven on the other hand is understandably the least developed of the central characters so far, which easily makes him the most frustrating character. His role in the story seems to be being the rich kid who's not really on the side of the corporate world, but at the same time he knowingly ignores the ramifications of Devon to pursue his own ambitions and passions in the form of archeology and whatnot. This is a guy who could actually make a difference, but he chooses to live in a bubble of ignorance. He's definitely no different than the many people in the world with the power to bring actual change, but actively choose not to do anything and sometimes get away scot free after it's already too late to do anything. I'm deeply concerned that he's in possession of the red orb, and that makes me wonder if this story will eventually end in a clash between literal gods. I personally wouldn't like that as I much prefer the human element in the story, but we'll have to wait and see what happens.

There are other characters I could talk about too.

Cora is pretty badass especially on her flaming horse and she brings good energy to the narrative.

Archie's also a good brother to Natalie at least, if you ignore the fact that he went radio silence on his family, and it's funny that he's the whole reason why Nat picked up her trainer journey in the first place. I personally like him and sympathize with the fact that he really did try to change things through the normal process before he went pirate mode. He tells Nat that they don't commit destructive actions like in the past anymore, but we'll have to see if that will hold up. Natalie's devotion towards Orca is probably still shaky at best, and a bad move by them will probably disillusion her sooner than later.

I also like Shelly and Scarlet is pretty cool in how daring she is. I must say I enjoy the variety of good female characters in this story especially.

WORLDBUILDING​

I mentioned before how there's no shortage of real world parallels between this fic and the real world, with climate change being the most obvious and central world building focus of this story.

That aside however, I think you made good use of the regions of Hoenn and Unova to a minor extent. The way you describe the towns and locations almost makes them feel like places that truly exist and I didn't have to struggle to picture any of them in my mind.

There's also many powers at play here. Corporate capitalism seems to be the most obvious real world analog here, especially with DevCo directly meddling in getting beneficial bills and policies for themselves while the rest of the populace protest and bicker in a futile effort, much like a certain global super power in our world today. We are also told glimpses of other stuff like how there's folks sponsoring ORCA's actions, and that makes me wonder if there's also a group sponsoring Magma or if Magma has some other large corporation secretly funding their operations.

I also want to quickly mention how much I like how pokeballs function in this world. I'd be lying if I said I expected the cops to have an infinite supply of masterballs, or that they were capable of stealing away other trainer's pokeballs. I wonder if this is a characteristic unique to masterballs or just pokeballs in general. Either way, this really changes the stakes in conflicts between the police and the other groups because it's no longer about being the first to beat down the opponent's pokemon. I'm very glad that you went with this effective way of keeping stakes high as I'd long grown tired of folks having guns in pokemon stories which in my opinion greatly makes having pokemon redundant when every encounter will prioritize shooting the trainer in the head to squash any real resistance. Having guns used in serious fics isn't a bad trope, and there's some canon precedent for it in earliest episodes of the anime especially, but I much prefer when pokemon themselves are the source of firepower if that makes sense.

CONCLUSION​

Continental Divides is a thrilling story will a lot of great characters, compelling conflict and a generally thought provoking theme. Your strengths of making characters feel real, relatable, likable or hateable and human shines in this fic almost better than in Spring in my opinion. There were a lot of cool, heart-warming as well as heart wrenching scenes. I had a good time reading through this story, and I'm here for the ride to see how it all ends.

 

[WildBoots]

Hi @Cresselia92 & @Adamhuarts! Thank you both for all your comments and reflections! Lots to reply to here! 😻

Spoiler: Cress Chapter 2

Things are starting to pick up pace here... I like that!

This is sort of the calm before the storm, haha.

Regular solutions for regular problems. It's interesting to see that you're using regular medicine rather than having a Pokémon use Aromatherapy or similar stuff.

Correct! I made this choice partly to match the realistic tone I’m trying to capture and partly because, in this setting, I don’t think pokemon healing works very effectively on humans for the same reason pokeballs don’t work on humans: something about them is fundamentally different on a cellular/molecular level. Also, in this setting, it would totally be possible for a pokemon to get a lasting injury. The stakes are high and there’s lots of risk involved in what these characters are doing later on.

Hmm... I guess it's a me thing, but I generally like to have some information to describe someone, even one-time characters. Just a little something to see them as more than "names" and shadows. Though, if there are some clues later, that's okay, too.

I’ll think about it, but I’ll add that there are definitely no clues about Hilary later because she’s only relevant in this one small scene. We’re never gonna see her again.

You got me at "cookies". :3

I’m sure Mark will be happy to have you for the cause lol.

This is an interesting perspective of the role of Gym Trainers. It must be pretty boring to have to hold back every time while facing newer Trainers. Makes me wonder why they don't have younger/more inexperienced Pokémon to close the gap, but I suppose younger/inexperienced become older/experienced as they go, so... yeah, it's a bit of a lose-lose no matter what.

It’s not so much about creating a fair fight, especially because I think an experienced trainer would still fight better with a smol pokemon than a rookie trainer would. Plus, nobody has to challenge the gyms in game-order in this setting (in Chapter 1, Natalie mentions having badges from Dewford and Mauville already), so they could have a rookie trainer one day and an expert the next. The gym’s role is to be able to be flexible and give everyone a reasonable challenge. But each gym also gets to decide what a “reasonable” challenge is! I’m sure favoritism and egos come into play all the time, because it’s ultimately the gym leader’s decision who gets a badge.

Does she play the trumpet?

In every bassinet across Hoenn, babies get a brass instrument tucked under the blanket with them. How else would they get so many trumpets in the RSE soundtrack???

Using a psychic barrier before the start of a match, huh? Isn't that cheating?

It’s not giving it an advantage in the fight, though. Actually, it’s probably a disadvantage, because it has to use some of its energy to shield Mark instead of fighting. But, yeah, weird that it defaults to shielding Mark, isn’t it! 😉

Ah, so the rocks don't appear from nowhere -- they need to extract them from some place. So, does that mean that Rock Slide would fail in certain places, like... in the middle of the sea? Unless a Pokémon summoned rocks from the abyss, I suppose.

I think they probably COULD form rocks from the void, but it’s easier to use what’s already there.

That sounds a bit like a mouthful. From a command, I would expect something quick and succinct, like "Go with a ring of fire!" or even "Ring of fire!" Otherwise, you're giving precious seconds to the opponent to make a comeback with a speedier command.

Still, it could be a Mark thing. I just believe that orders should be speedy.

Normally, yes, my commands are short and clipped. But he’s very confident of the win here, so there’s no urgency in it. (No exclamation point either.) He’s not shouting this one, just saying it very casually, maybe even bored already.

Not sure if this is some fire attack or Solar Beam. Inclined toward the latter for its light properties, but it could help to narrow down an attack with a few extra details, like "the beam of grass energy" or similar stuff.

I don’t like using move names if I don’t have to, because narratively it doesn’t matter whether it’s called a flamethrower or a fire blast. What matters is how the fire interacts with the scene. Does it spread and set fire to the dry underbrush? Does it drive back the foe? Does it miss, scorching the wall instead? All of those have a lot more impact for me than just hearing a name.

So, some of the context cues I gave for what’s happening here:

"Good. Scramble it," Mark ordered. He was careful not to look directly at the beam of light the solrock shot from its eyes

... and her mightyena turned directly into it. Its pupils quickly expanded and then shrank. The mightyena shook its head, started forward, swooned, and turned to snap its teeth at an imaginary foe. It staggered into the rim of the fiery ring and then reeled back whining, the reaction delayed.

= She’s confused!

I do get that it’s a different style from how many writers handle battles, though, so it might be an adjustment.

I mean, you could have arranged for a Triple Battle, pal. But if you can send more Pokémon, so should she. :p

Yeah, that would be totally illegal, Mark!! :v Silly boy must not have realized. 🙃

Aww. I find this cute. Does he want to keep her safe from something? :3

Yeah, or something lol.

Uh oh. This definitely sounds like something that could escalate quickly. And if the police is involved, it could be potentially illegal.

To clarify: there’s definitely some lawbreaking in the future, but cops’ presence at a protest isn’t an indication that it’s illegal all by itself. Just like in the US where I live, free speech (including protest) is allowed in Hoenn. Cops are equally likely to be there to keep opposing protesters separate as to intimidate the protesters. Some of the lawbreaking (or at least dubious activity) in the next chapter is carried out by cops.

But also, yup, you’re right: it’s already a recipe for disaster. It’s not gonna end well.

Ah! Even with the bruise on the face, he still looks fab!

Aww, I’ll tell him you said so, lol.

So! I've got to say that what I liked the most about this chapter was the battle.

I’m glad you had fun with those parts!

I feel like it could use some extra descriptions. Like, there was plenty of focus on the various dialogs and ways in which things are handled at the Gym, but the picture of the Gym itself and its Trainers is a bit nebulous and blank. Probably the purpose was to let the audience fill the blanks and/or you considered those details not important, but...

Hm, heard. As I said earlier, I’ve been pretty intentional about where to drop detail to signal what is or isn’t important and keep the focus on the most important pieces. (So, not the gym trainers, lol.) But I’ll think about it!

Thanks for the feedback!

Spoiler: Adam Chapters 1-13

reading the whole of Continental Divides was as thrilling as it was draining

Thrilling is a word we like to hear! Glad it was so bingeable for you!

I've read other fics with roughly similar plot lines, some you might already know about

Ooh definitely send those recs my way just in case.

The fact that the story handles themes surrounding climate change and activism is very interesting, and I greatly appreciate the level of care that went in conveying that message. This is a subject matter that could easily be mishandled or done sloppily, and I can say with confidence that you excelled at it and did a fantastic job at integrating that into the world of pokemon.

🙏 Well, we’re not done yet! Still plenty of room for me to put my foot in some of the subtleties. But hopefully I can keep that up! Glad to know all that stuff is landing for you.

I totally didn't just check the dictionary

Pfff no shame in that. I constantly look to the dictionary as I write to double-check that words mean what I think they do.

time will tell whether she made the right choice and if ORCA or any side is the right one to join here.

“Or any side" indeed. The next arc is going to be more focused on what ORCA is up to, so we’ll get a, uh, new perspective on them.

He's a bit of an asshole at times, but he's often shown to be caring towards his juniors and members of his group

I think this is an accurate assessment of him! He’s a jerk, and he knows it. But this story is forcing him to change his attitudes already.

Steven on the other hand is understandably the least developed of the central characters so far, which easily makes him the most frustrating character.

He’s never going to be as developer as either Mark or Natalie: he’s an important character, but not a protagonist. We will learn more about him, though. He’s operating at a different pace from M + N is all.

that makes me wonder if this story will eventually end in a clash between literal gods. I personally wouldn't like that as I much prefer the human element in the story,

I’m also much more interested in humans making choices. The Regis are going to continue to be a big deal, but it’s ultimately a story about two people, so the focus will stay there.

Archie's also a good brother to Natalie at least,

Wow, fascinating. One of my friends HATES him and thinks he’s an awful brother, lol.

He tells Nat that they don't commit destructive actions like in the past anymore, but we'll have to see if that will hold up.

Wellllll, he says “we don’t do it like that anymore.” I don’t think it was the violence that bothered him but what they got out of it. That doesn’t mean he no longer thinks violence is an answer. He also in no way regrets that shipyard attack, clearly, lol.

Natalie's devotion towards Orca is probably still shaky at best, and a bad move by them will probably disillusion her sooner than later.

I’d say that’s about right!

I must say I enjoy the variety of good female characters in this story especially.

:D That’s great to hear! That’s definitely been one of my goals. Pokemon still tends to emphasize male narratives, definitely in RSE, so it’s nice to shift the focus. I’m also replicating what I see in the real world. Activist groups are dominated by women, queer folks, and people of color: the people who need change most urgently, the people who recognize injustice when they see it.

much like a certain global super power in our world today.

Much like ... a few of them! Definitely the Trump family, yeah, but I’m also thinking about Canadian mining companies in Guatemala, Amazon, Exxon Mobile ... Or even “left-leaning” corporations like Google, Apple, and Facebook. They’re all shady because they’re all just in it for the money. And they’re big and powerful, and the people who ought to be regulating them (politicians) are also invested in their profits.

We are also told glimpses of other stuff like how there's folks sponsoring ORCA's actions, and that makes me wonder if there's also a group sponsoring Magma or if Magma has some other large corporation secretly funding their operations.

To clarify: Macro Cosmos isn’t funding ORCA. Archie is being sarcastic, calling it a generous donation when actually they’ve just stolen a boat from them. I can see if I can clarify, because I don’t think you’re the only one who got something different from that scene than I intended.

I'd be lying if I said I expected the cops to have an infinite supply of masterballs, or that they were capable of stealing away other trainer's pokeballs. I wonder if this is a characteristic unique to masterballs or just pokeballs in general.

It’s just masterballs! So only cops have them.

Your strengths of making characters feel real, relatable, likable or hateable and human shines in this fic almost better than in Spring in my opinion.

Told you. It’s a little unfair of me to compare them—they’re very different kinds of narratives. But I do anyway, and I have to agree. :D

I'm very glad that you went with this effective way of keeping stakes high as I'd long grown tired of folks having guns in pokemon stories which in my opinion greatly makes having pokemon redundant when every encounter will prioritize shooting the trainer in the head to squash any real resistance.

I do think cops have guns in this setting—Natalie notices the cop’s holster in Chapter 3–but it would be hard for anyone else to get one, and their use would be limited. Like in chapters 12 and 13, there’s too big a risk of friendly fire. I think cops here are still using excessive force, but they don’t need guns to do it, lol. 🙃 I think a cop would be most likely to pull a gun if, say, some trainer’s pokemon had them pinned and they were out of masterballs. But they have a lot of other tools at their disposal first.

Cheers to you both. Thanks for giving me some of your time!

 

[Sinderella]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy OSJ! Here for Catnip! I decided to take up your suggestion to read this instead of Spring, and while I do still have my sights set on Spring, I'm already really enjoying what's going on. I've only read one chapter, and I already feel a sense of looming dread. With the story opening with Natalie literally being stalked, to Mark leaving suddenly with an undisclosed emergency...got some issues in the works, and I'm quite excited to see how they pan out. I'm expecting some big bruh moments. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BUBBA?

One of the things that really stood out to me is the overall realism you've put into your version of the Pokeverse. It's so...refreshing? I think that's the word. I don't know, but the little details you've included, like the "trainer's ed modules" and the hostels full of journeying trainers were so neat. I love little things like that. I can't wait to see what other things are in store.

I didn't see much wrong, technically or story wise. The pacing was pretty solid, and while there were a couple sentences I had to read a few times to understand what was happening, I'll chalk that up to my own smoothbrainedness I pointed them out in the line-by-lines, just in case you were curious.

Also my degenerate ass is hard shipping Natalie and Mark. Had me like



Overall, great start! Really hype to keep reading!

Spoiler: Line by Lines

Line-By-Lines as Follows:

well, it was a park battle. Spectators came to study the competition. The opposing sandslash had given Natalie plenty else to think about. After, the stranger in black had dispersed along with the crowd, and Natalie had forgotten them as she stepped forward to collect her winnings.

I know this is an after-the-fact telling of the battle, but I loved the imagery of there just being a random, unsanctioned battle in a park, and Natalie having to collect her prize money from some reluctant park-goer that decided to challenge her. It's SO game-like...but you manage to spin it in this realistic light, and I love it.

The trainer's ed "city safety" modules had suggested going to the police or alerting someone on the street of the situation,

This flashed me back to when I had to do training modules for Starbucks...honestly, it makes perfect sense that trainers would have to do training modules.

Turning sharply on her heel, Natalie threw down Luna's pokeball and called out, "If you want something, come get it!"

Hell yeah, strong female protag ain't gonna take stalker bullshit!

Then Luna bared her teeth and growled. Faster than Natalie could follow with her eyes, Luna spun and snapped her teeth at nothing—and the nothing screamed, human-sounding and effeminate.

Is...is the stalker in visible????

As Luna whipped her head from side to side, searching, a cold wind swept down the street. Then the stranger winked out of sight.

The last sentence confused me just a tad...wasn't the attacker technically already out of sight if they were invisible?

There was a lot she didn't know about her brother's life. Much of what she did know she'd gleaned from reading between the lines of the emails he'd written to Dad; she'd still been "the kid" when he was writing, as in, Say hi to the kid for me. On visits home, they'd had fun together—he'd taken her out on the bay for a pokemon ride or schooled her at checkers—but they hadn't talked about anything real. She didn't blame him: she'd been a child, and he was a full adult, already on the other side of his badge journey and working a real job. Back then, she hadn't thought to ask him the questions she wondered about now: Was campaign work what he'd wanted or just something he'd fallen into? What did he remember about his mom? Did it matter to him that she was only his half-sister? Had he ever been in love? She'd imagined dozens of conversations ... but his imagined answers were flavorless and unsatisfying.

Interesting insight into Natalie's thoughts about her brother. I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait too long for this. It's already very clear she misses him, even if they weren't really that buddy-buddy.

Bubba didn't invite her along

No thoughts, only him.

And then, sudden as a skidding car, he would recall his pokemon, sometimes even if it looked like he was going to win, and wave the challenging trainer ahead. Natalie had heard that the gym leader herself was known to occasionally award badges to trainers who had actually lost to her, if they impressed her, but this was something else. He seemed bored, boiling under the surface.

What an interesting way to battle. And I've also always had this ideas that some gym leaders would indeed give impressive trainers badges, even if they lost...so I really liked this!

I can offer advice about Roxanne if you want it that bad,

You know I had to do it to 'em....

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOXANNE!

"Area girl fatally murdered by crime. Details at eleven."

I dig Mark's sense of humor

Natalie cut a sideways glance at him, watching how his Adam's apple bobbed when he drank.

Damn, she's really checking him out, huh?

"There are all kinds of trainers. I see plenty of them every day, and almost none of them can see two inches past their own ambition. They have no clue about anything else going on. Just badges and bullshit."

YOOOOO MARK SPITTING MAD TRUTHS!

But just once, after making her swear up and down that she wouldn't tell her parents, Bubba had let her pet the sleek feathers at the crown of the female's head. He'd kept a firm grip on Natalie, ready to snatch her back if needed.

This was so wholesome to me. They barely knew each other, but he was so ready to protect her....WHERE IS BUBBA?!

"Shit. Shit. I have to go—right now." He jumped up, slinging a messenger bag over his shoulder and tossing in his book.

"Everything okay? Emergency at the gym?" she teased. Her heart sank, just a little.

"Something like that." He set his jaw and smiled grimly.

Oh fuck....what happened????

She made it back to the hostel without incident, and in the shared kitchen space, she finally made her grilled cheese. Then a second one. A pair of trainers fussed with a saucepan over the burner next to hers, gabbing about how they'd fared at the gym.

Again, love the idea of these hostels full of trainers on their journeys. I love.

Tomorrow, she decided, she'd claim her badge and be done with it.

Hahahahahahaha, my feelings right now.

 

[WildBoots]

Hi, Sinder! This review was a lot of fun to read. :D

Spoiler: Chapter 1 Review Reply

while I do still have my sights set on Spring, I'm already really enjoying what's going on.

I suspected you might, haha. Spring is my baby too, don't get me wrong! It's a much slower, dreamier story with lots more woods and Nature Talk, which are also things I like. But I also know you like evil teams and suspicious love interests, and I've got those things in spades here! Haha.

I've only read one chapter, and I already feel a sense of looming dread.

Dread? Whatever do you mean? Natalie's gonna get her badge, and everything is going to be super chill and normal.

I'm expecting some big bruh moments. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BUBBA?

Big bruh moments with big bro. ❤️ This one has an answer in what's been published! Lots of loose ends still hanging where I've currently left off, but this is not one of them.

One of the things that really stood out to me is the overall realism you've put into your version of the Pokeverse.

Yeah, that's a consistent theme in all of my works. I'm definitely writing our world with pokemon in it and not the other way around. I can't tell how much of it is my cynical side--this won't feel believable unless everything is unforgiving, underwhelming, and bug-bitten--and how much is my romanticism of things like hostels, haha. There's a certain type of low-grade shittiness that I'm a little nostalgic for, like the blah food you end up eating when you travel. It means adventure!! Either way, it's definitely my flavor.

there were a couple sentences I had to read a few times to understand what was happening, I'll chalk that up to my own smoothbrainedness I pointed them out in the line-by-lines, just in case you were curious.

Oh, no, I always want those pointed out. It usually means some words are out of order or that there's clutter I can clear out. I'm always making small adjustments (need to update this chapter with a couple word changes, actually). I appreciate it.

Also my degenerate ass is hard shipping Natalie and Mark.

Well, I can confirm there are some ships! 🚢

Natalie having to collect her prize money from some reluctant park-goer that decided to challenge her. It's SO game-like

I hadn't actually thought of that, but you're right! I think the difference here is the crowd gathered to watch.

This flashed me back to when I had to do training modules for Starbucks...honestly, it makes perfect sense that trainers would have to do training modules.

Omg, yes, what a mood. I actually have to do a training module for work that I'm positive I've already done before. I figure if you need classes to be allowed to drive a car, a heavy hunk of steel that can go 80+ miles an hour, then you definitely also need them to be allowed to have something that can turn into a fire-breathing dragon that can go 80+ miles an hour and also fly. That's why my characters are all 18+: pokemon in this setting are dangerous ... and so is, like, the road and the people on it. There are criminals out there!!!

The last sentence confused me just a tad...wasn't the attacker technically already out of sight if they were invisible?

Oh, they briefly pop back into view in between! It's just one quick line though, so if you were reading fast, it would be easy to miss:

The stranger flashed into view on the other side of the street, cursing, their partly-hidden face like a half-moon in the darkness.

I really want to make a joke here but I can't because spoilers. But, yeah, I let her steal a little Louisiana flavor from my family. All of the nicknames in Natalie's family come from mine somewhere or other, actually.

I dig Mark's sense of humor

Oh good! Glad that line landed. I was scraping the barrel for a while trying to figure out what he would say there.

Damn, she's really checking him out, huh?

Damn, boy, you seem suspicious and standoffish. Can I get in on that??

Only good decisions.

Oh fuck....what happened????

Partial answers to this question next chapter.

Oh nononono, Hoenn doesn't have storms! Just look at this report from the weather research cent--
Huh.
That's really weird.

Thanks again! See you around!

 

[Pen]

The building had become a pillar of flame and smoke, a flaming middle finger to the world. Maybe it should've made him feel better.

So, Mark's come to jesus moment. I kept seeing parallels to his fight with Natalie at the pipeline, except this time Mark is in Natalie's shoes. He's out of his depth and his body, along with his worldview, is being tossed around and shaken up. But why is this that does it? Why here? Why now?

As Montag plans go, it's definitely not the worst we've seen from him. All the objections and reservations Mark experiences towards the end of the chapter are ones I think he'd have confident, even dismissive answers to a few chapters back. Montag didn't let you in on top secret plans? Boo hoo. Don't be a baby. This is a movement. Sometimes secrecy is necessary. Montag trusted you to make a big enough stink at Meteor Falls to occupy Steven Stone and half of Rustboro PD--how's that for a vote of confidence? Did Magma's presence make things worse for the draconids? Come on, give me a break! As if the cops wouldn't have done it anyway. Montag should have somehow stopped the pipeline? Wake up, dreamer--we're fighting a war, not just a battle. Montag managed to hit DevCo where it hurts. This was a victory.

The reason he doesn't have those answers is twofold, I think. First, the pipeline sabotage. That was the truly unacceptable "sacrifice" Montag has made so far, but it's very realistic that Mark can't quite put it in those terms, because, after all, he agreed--he walked in with eyes wide-open to that one. The betrayal he has at Montag for a plan I think he would have accepted pre-pipeline-sabotage if it was explained to him is redirected from his betrayal at Montag for convincing him to go along with the pipeline plan--and at himself, for agreeing.

Second, the shadow of Virbank. We all of a sudden get a lot of Mark, son of Virbank. And the picture we see is--Mark gave up on Virbank. He ran away. Unlike the draconids, who are still fighting for their land in full recognition that they are likely to lose, Mark gave up his hometown and country for lost, and came to Hoenn to fight by proxy. I think some guilt there is resurfacing as he compares himself to Zinnia. I was also interested in his sudden low when he's arrested and thinks of how he's failed Kathy and his mom. It underscored to me that Mark conceptualizes himself as a protector. These two chapters, though, are all about his failure to protect--to protect both the draconids and his teammates during the battle, to protect Meteor Falls, Virbank. At the end of the chapter, he's facing the fact that everything he does right now seems to result in destruction, not conservation. Mark, deep down, doesn't want things to burn. But he's one of the ones who's been lighting them on fire. This chapter is him finally starting to face that contradiction.

Spoiler: Line-by-lines

The plateau rippled and bucked with such force that he feared the entire thing would come crashing down.

I like how alive the land feels in this moment. Almost like a character in its own right.

He ran his tongue over his teeth to make sure they were all still there.

Nice visceral moment.

The cops rushed back in like a tide, masterballs zinging through the air like locusts.

Both good similes. Both at once feels a little discordant to me--I guess both are biblical plagues, lol.

Gibs had been gone for weeks, and yet Mark was still reaching for a pokeball that wasn't there.

I was gonna give this an "oof" and then I couldn't remember if this was one of mine. Ah well. Oof.

The black ball whipped over the crowd and into the orbit of Stone's golden-eyed claydol; several others already haloed its head.

Love the image of the halo of masterballs.

Mark wasn't an idiot.

x to doubt

"Pull the fuck together!" Mark shouted at the top of his lungs.

But he was screaming at empty air. As if an invisible switch had been flipped, his teammates began to blink out of existence, first a scattered few, then all across the crowd, trainers madly recalling pokemon and grabbing for a neighbor before making the leap into the void.

Mark's pulse stuttered. He squeezed his radio's push-to-talk button one more time. "Cora? Can you hear me?" But it was still dead plastic.

The cops swept into the empty spaces, the remaining blips of red swallowed by gray and black.

mm, the way things fall apart here is so good. Stand-out sequence for me.

He managed to recall her at last, and then the only thing between him and the fucking metagross was a membrane of light.

Huh, membrane of light?

Instead it yanked itself free and scuttled backward.

Scutt scutt. Good verb.

Ore shouldn't take this long to charge up a solar beam.

Such an effective 'oh shit' moment. And it really underscores how in sync Mark is with how his pokemon fight.

Mark felt the drop in his stomach before he registered that his feet had left the ground. Legs dangling, he tipped back and back …. MetFalls swung overhead, all those stratified shades of red rock stretching long … then only sky, and then no sky at all—

The literal disorientation here embodies Mark's emotional and moral disorientation in this chapter.

That's more than theft, you know. That's copyright infringement.

does Steven practice these savage zingers in the mirror

"Well," Stone said softly, "you've caused a lot of trouble today, haven't you."

get a room, you two

Maybe an aerodactyl, but even the heir to the Stone fortune didn't have two of those.

Wait so in your world is Lance even richer than Steven?

Maybe it didn't know. Octavia's daytime vision was bad, and Mark guessed noivern was the same. It was going to hit the light screen like a pidove against a high-rise window, and while it lay stunned, the cops would swarm.

The smack he expected never came.

The technique of expectation-deflation here is super effective. Love how you write us out a sequence so it's clear in our mind--and then it doesn't happen like that.

But what right did he have to ask for her help? He'd go to his sister first if he were in her position, wouldn't he? She'd free the other Draconids first.

Maybe, "But what right did he have to ask for her help? If he were in her position, he'd free his sister before a stranger."

"You're amazing," he said, but she'd already moved past him.

the Mark-Zinnia relationship summed up.

Steven Stone had sunk to one knee and swayed like a drunk as he tried to stand back up.

Such a glorious moment.

While she ran a hand over its side, it dropped its head onto her shoulder, making a sound remarkably like a cat purring. The noivern lay nearby, grooming its ruff of fur with a forked tongue.

CATS. ALL CATS.

To his surprise, she bared a toothy grin.

"Well. She's not the first dragon stolen by the Hoenn state, hmm?" Her grin wobbled and then became fiercer. "The rest of us will just have to fight even harder. For Harsumna. For Aster. For all those who came before and all who will come after."

Mark's surprise is interesting to me. He really can't accept loss in the way she can, despite the fact that he seems to have given up on Virbank. I guess it's partially denial. He has the luxury of it, since he's fled Unova.

then came knuckle-crawling back for more.

knuckle-crawling! Love it.

Mark had watched Thrive, Virbank's biggest clean air advocacy group, slowly suffocate under red tape. They were good people—they cared—but what was the point of a protest when you asked the city for permission and clearances first? What good was a potluck, period? All their petitions, divestment campaigns, and dialogues with the city had literally blown up in their faces when the refinery exploded. Now Thrive mostly organized cleanup efforts, too little too late.

excuse you mark, potlucks have many excellent and admirable qualities.

Eight hours before he first learned about Magma, he'd been arrested at a protest in Driftveil. It hadn't been the first time, but it had been harder than other times: he'd been thrown around, humiliated, left for hours in an overcrowded cell—and through it all, the cops had remained calmly indifferent. He'd been far from home and no closer to accomplishing anything real. Or anything at all. When the cops had turned him loose, Magma had been there with water bottles, energy bars, and an invitation to join them at Twist Mountain.

They did what the protesters had failed to do: they shut the mining operation down.

Huh, so Magma is active in Unova? I think of them as being so Hoenn-local.

"Buck up, colonizer," Zinnia said with such forceful cheer it came like a slap even before her words registered.

Love this moment. And Zinnia.

I realized I never made you meme art for your birthday. In the interests of remedying that:

Spoiler

 

[WildBoots]

Aww, hi! This was a nice surprise! I was contemplating a nap right before I saw this, and this was a nice way to get back into story mode instead.

Spoiler: Pen Chapter 13 Reply

All the objections and reservations Mark experiences towards the end of the chapter are ones I think he'd have confident, even dismissive answers to a few chapters back. Montag didn't let you in on top secret plans? Boo hoo. Don't be a baby. This is a movement. Sometimes secrecy is necessary. Montag trusted you to make a big enough stink at Meteor Falls to occupy Steven Stone and half of Rustboro PD--how's that for a vote of confidence? Did Magma's presence make things worse for the draconids? Come on, give me a break! As if the cops wouldn't have done it anyway. Montag should have somehow stopped the pipeline? Wake up, dreamer--we're fighting a war, not just a battle. Montag managed to hit DevCo where it hurts. This was a victory.

Omg, thank you for verbalizing this. The next thing I'll have to deal with is a conversation between these two, aaaaaand I definitely know the beats but haven't gotten the precise words yet. A lot of it will likely be Montag trying to get Mark to say these things out loud (because you're exactly right) soooo here's a draft of one half of the conversation already lol.

The betrayal he has at Montag for a plan I think he would have accepted pre-pipeline-sabotage if it was explained to him is redirected from his betrayal at Montag for convincing him to go along with the pipeline plan--and at himself, for agreeing.

YES, exactly. He needs someone to be mad at. (Which, oof, was Natalie earlier when he was looking for someone to blame for Gibs. Fuck, Mark.)

He ran away.

He did indeed. Part of Mark's arc is going from heavily armored and closed-off to more vulnerable, and another is going from a runner to someone who takes a stand and stays put. The difference between him and Natalie under the overpass isn't that Hoenn is hers and not his--Zinnia would call her a colonizer, too. The difference is that Natalie has committed to standing her ground. Chapter 13 is the first time we really see Mark do that.

I think some guilt there is resurfacing as he compares himself to Zinnia.

👀 YES. I have lots of thoughts about contrasts and similarities between these two.

It underscored to me that Mark conceptualizes himself as a protector.

I said this in DMs, but yes! I've been loosely thinking of Mark as a shield and Nat as a sword. I definitely expect them to trade those roles back and forth, but those are their default states. Or at least it's what they'd each like to be.

This chapter is him finally starting to face that contradiction.

And the road ahead is still so long, Marky-Mark.

Both good similes. Both at once feels a little discordant to me--I guess both are biblical plagues, lol.

Ah, fair! I got rid of locusts--gotta keep the nod to water being the enemy here. Will update with a bunch of tiny fixes next time I post a chapter.

I was gonna give this an "oof" and then I couldn't remember if this was one of mine. Ah well. Oof.

LOL! I thiiiiink this one is my beat/idea and your phrasing.

Love the image of the halo of masterballs.

Me too! I did a tarot post for the teens today (the babies love it, lol, so precious) and got the magician, who's got an infinity symbol over their head as a stylized halo. So good. Definitely the right vibe.

Huh, membrane of light?

This is a weird line! I've struggled with it in every version of this chapter. I'll flag it and come back ... eventually.

does Steven practice these savage zingers in the mirror

Omg now he does.

Wait so in your world is Lance even richer than Steven?

Oh, he has one! Just not two. Does Lance have two??? ... Probably he could afford another if he wanted? But, of course, it's less about being that rich than it is about convincing everyone else you're rich, right?

But you're right that the wording here is really emphasizing his wealth. I'll flag that to look at again later and see how I feel. I'm not sure that's the main question for Steven re: rock-birds, but I think Mark would still frame it that way. Hmm hmm hmm.

Mark's surprise is interesting to me. He really can't accept loss in the way she can, despite the fact that he seems to have given up on Virbank. I guess it's partially denial. He has the luxury of it, since he's fled Unova.

Yes, and--! I think that Mark's armor is his standoffishness ... but he's really just wearing his heart on his sleeve. When he's mad, you know. When he's surprised and off his game, it shows. Zinnia's got a different brand of armor. When her heart breaks, she grins.

excuse you mark, potlucks have many excellent and admirable qualities.

Yeah, he's dead wrong here.

Huh, so Magma is active in Unova? I think of them as being so Hoenn-local.

kdfjskjf I created this problem for myself when I pinned down Virbank as Mark's hometown, but I'm sticking to my guns. The next few chapters will hopefully start to solidify this, but my idea is that DevCo has at least a few projects in Unova and/or a partnership of some kind with Clay. My thinking is that, at one point, Magma was casting a wider net and recruiting, but now they're centralized and focusing their energy at home.

I realized I never made you meme art for your birthday.

Wowowowowow I am dazzled.

More soon! (Knock on wood.)

 

[Negrek]

Been a while, no? It's great to have the opportunity to catch up on this fic again after so long away. Some nice forward momentum in this chapter as things really start to escalate.

I really enjoyed the scene with Tabitha--probably my favorite in this chapter. I suppose I just enjoy watching characters absolutely despise each other! I thought you did a wonderful job characterizing Tabitha here; her personality, as well as why Mark absolutely cannot stand her, came through really well. I love a character who makes an immediate impression! I also enjoyed Mark's reactions throughout--his shock and then angry embarrassment over goofing on Tabitha's pronouns, his crankiness at everything from the echoes of Montag in Tabitha's behavior to the ninjask picking his chair to perch on, the petty assholishness of him not mentioning that he has pokémon that could help with the digging. He's so obviously at "bitch eating crackers" level of dislike for Tabitha and practically coming up with things to resent him for. This all makes him feel like a real, believable person, with his own foibles and failings, and for me is pretty entertaining! Mark and Tabitha play off each other really well in a complete-trainwreck sort of way, so I'm looking forward to more clashes between them later!

I was super stoked to see Zinnia here, too! I'm curious whether she's actually sided with Aqua, or whether she's actually playing both teams against each other. One way or another, I can't imagine she's truly on any side but her own. I wonder whether she might do some work to tie the "bad archaeology" side of the story into the "ecoterrorist" side of the story; she seems like she might be a connection to that ancient world and acient forces. In any case, I look forward to seeing her again and learning more!

Also liked Zinfandel's appearance here. Someone else I hope we'll see more of. :) In addition, I quite enjoyed some of the little scene-setting bits here and there; the description of the night when Mark's out at the pipeline and Natalie's approach to Slateport both stood out to me as evocative bits of writing. Short little snippets, but great at setting the mood as well as establishing place.

The opening of the chapter was a bit odd for me; you start out describing time passing and Natalie getting accustomed to the rhythm of life on the ship, but then when we pick up the in-the-moment narrative, we're back at the morning after Natalie arrived on the ship.

Other than that...

Like each of the others before her, she turned it to read the text crawl at the seam between the red and white halves.

This is a neat idea!

It would take so little send the pokeball flying over the rail...

so little *to send

Last to arrive was a Zig...

Don't think you want "a" here.

And then there was Tabitha, stepping out of the crowd like an apparition.

Not totally sure what you want to evoke with the comparison to an apparition here. Silence?

"Since some of you haven't worked under me before, let me tell you how this is going to be: if I give an order, you do it. No questions."

I can see why he and Mark get along! One stubborn control freak having to take orders from another? I'm sure this will end well.

Oh, River, you'll be fine. It's only a short distance.

Ah ha. So this is why you were talking to me about fear of teleporting, huh?

When Amelia first flew up to join them, Natalie's heart clenched in momentary panic that she wouldn't be able to find her again. But only Amelia had speckles along the edges of her wings, and only Amelia came when Natalie whistled.

What a cute little moment here.

It took Natalie a moment to realize she was talking to her.

I think "the woman" would work better than "she" here. Right now there isn't really an antecedent for that pronoun, which left me briefly confused.

In between, the grass rippled with intermittent sparks, like a blanket full of static.

Was a bit confused about what sort of sparks we're dealing with here. Literal sparks, as from electric-types in the grass? Fireflies/other glowy bugs? Grass just looks silvery in the moonlight?

When she'd gone, the banette reassembled itself with the sound of a zipper closing.

Nice detail!

By the time he was upright again, tears pricked the corners of his eyes, and he was out of breath again.

I think you could stand to lose one or more of the "again"s here.

Her brother had briskly her, then Scarlet.

Briskly what her?

Mark of Rustboro. Mark of the MGMA.

Oh boy. Who could have predicted this?? :P

I'm glad I left off on Chapter 7 rather than this one when I was reading through earlier! It's nice to be able to go straight on into the next chapter, where we'll finally get to see the inevitable confrontation between Mark and Natalie! Sad that I doubt Mark will be reuniting with Gibs anytime soon, though. Onward!

 

[WildBoots]

OMG, I forgot you're way back here. If I've accidentally spoiled anything, I apologize! (I don't *think* I would've revealed anything major, or at least nothing that isn't better in the telling than in the bare facts.)

But so nice to have you back! :D

Spoiler: Negrek Chapter 8 Reply

I was super stoked to see Zinnia here, too! I'm curious whether she's actually sided with Aqua, or whether she's actually playing both teams against each other. One way or another, I can't imagine she's truly on any side but her own. I wonder whether she might do some work to tie the "bad archaeology" side of the story into the "ecoterrorist" side of the story; she seems like she might be a connection to that ancient world and acient forces.

I actually wasn't sure she'd be here at all until this chapter, haha. But, yeah, I'm hoping she will do exactly that--bridging the two pieces of my plot! It's just taking more beats than I expected to get there. A lot of my backstory and lore (to be revealed ... eventually!) is built around her--she bends the narrative around her just by being in it, lol.

Also liked Zinfandel's appearance here. Someone else I hope we'll see more of. :)

Oh my yes. At least once more!

The opening of the chapter was a bit odd for me; you start out describing time passing and Natalie getting accustomed to the rhythm of life on the ship, but then when we pick up the in-the-moment narrative, we're back at the morning after Natalie arrived on the ship.

You're so right. It definitely tickled my ear in the writing, but I muscled ahead and let it ride out anyway. I think this is a legacy of this chapter not being beta'd. I dunno if I was trying to prove I didn't need help (???!) or what. But I imagine this line would've been picked at harder in a google doc.

Though, funnily enough, at least one of the errors you caught is one I introduced by editing too quickly, after the first posting. 😂 Sigh, never not editing.

He's so obviously at "bitch eating crackers" level of dislike for Tabitha and practically coming up with things to resent him for. This all makes him feel like a real, believable person, with his own foibles and failings, and for me is pretty entertaining! Mark and Tabitha play off each other really well in a complete-trainwreck sort of way, so I'm looking forward to more clashes between them later!

Omg yes. Glad you had fun with them! I always worry a little about unpleasantness-overloading people (which is why Shelly has been so nice so far, lol!) so it's nice to hear that this lands. Though, if Salvage is anything to go by, you've got a higher threshold for it than I could ever hope to overload! Haha. I'm looking ahead to at least one more place where Tabitha is likely to appear, and beyond that ... I have no idea! I only have about half of the story staked down, so many things are possible in that second half. Though I suspect that, for a while, that good, good look at this bitch eating crackers energy is going to shift onto Mark/Natalie when they start being forced to be in the same scene more often. Eventually.

Not totally sure what you want to evoke with the comparison to an apparition here. Silence?

Suddenly and spookily. Not there then there. I'll flag it and see if I can drum up something a little clearer.

Ah ha. So this is why you were talking to me about fear of teleporting, huh?

Ah yes and no! I wrote several versions of a "splinching" scene in Chapter 12 that I ended up scrapping because it was detracting from the main points. But I still think of it as a possible danger of teleporting, so ... who knows! Maybe it'll come up again.

Was a bit confused about what sort of sparks we're dealing with here. Literal sparks, as from electric-types in the grass? Fireflies/other glowy bugs? Grass just looks silvery in the moonlight?

Literal electric-types. I'll clarify!

Briskly what her?

Oh, and this was a hug that was dropped.

It was so brisk you miss it if you blink!! Archie's love is like the wind: you can't see it, and ... actually was it even there????? 😂

Oh boy. Who could have predicted this?? :P

I know, haha. Like, narratively, it's all but mandatory. But even in-universe ... come on, Natalie. You think the two groups that hate each other aren't gonna run into each other? She continues to be way out of her depth.

I'm glad I left off on Chapter 7 rather than this one when I was reading through earlier! It's nice to be able to go straight on into the next chapter, where we'll finally get to see the inevitable confrontation between Mark and Natalie! Sad that I doubt Mark will be reuniting with Gibs anytime soon, though. Onward!

Oh yeah, this would've been a way more frustrating stopping point! I try not to do too many cliffhangers, but ... when shit really pops off, it pops off! 🤷‍♂️ I'll be really curious to hear what you make of their, uh, reunion in the next chapter. I wouldn't have published it if I weren't feeling pretty good about it, but it's not necessarily my favorite chapter either. (I think Chapter 8 is my favorite so far, actually.)

Omg and Gibs. GIBS. Another piece I keep expecting to get back to sooner than I have. The other shoe(s) will drop relatively soon! There's a plan in place for kitty, and I desperately wish I were a faster writer because I am so excited to get there.

And thank you for catching all those small errors. 🙏 I'll patch those through when I post the next chapter. Hopefully ... soon! Maybe this week or next? (Knock on wood.)

 

[canisaries]

Second chapter! It really had been a while since I read the first, so thanks again for the cliff notes, much appreciated. While I did also skim it again for a refresher, I didn't go line by line, so apologies if I complain about something here that was settled in the previous chapter.

The door opened as he was tossing down a couple of Ibuprofen.

I looked this up and ibuprofen is indeed the compound itself rather than a brand name, so it should not be capitalized (unless you wanted to give some specific effect here).

Aisha is all set

YO AISHA FROM NEOPETS IS IN THIS?? YOOO

dabbing sweat

meme word meme word this fic can no longer be serious

Like, think about all the time and effort she's put into our schools alone."

I would've liked to get some elaboration on this within the chapter, as it can have pretty big implications for what the role of gym leaders in this world depending on its context.

As Mark stepped forward to shake Natalie's freckled hand, he saw by her expression that she was appreciating for the first time the difference in height between them—he stood almost a foot taller than her. In response, she raised her chin and rolled her shoulders back.

this paragraph really confirmed that this story is a romance

During his next battle, the cut above Mark's eyebrow opened again, stinging from the sweat and dust.

It's kind of odd that none of the other challengers or staff question him about his open head wound*? *dramatization A passing mention about that would have done it for me.

Immediately, he felt the prickle of Orwell's presence along the edges of his mind,

me when the "law enforcement" tell me it is "criminal" and "against common decency" to go out in the street naked, pouring ketchup over myself and calling myself "the human hotdog"

He imagined that, from its perspective, there was no distinction between a gym battle and any other kind of fight. It was a good habit.

not even a fight to the death

But its ears lay flat at the sight of the opposing pokemon.

hrrm hrrm the ears againnn

something that might have been anxiety if Orwell were a creature that felt emotions the way humans did.

I think you could go with just "if Orwell felt emotions the way humans did," we will assume not feeling emotions the way humans did is about Orwell being a solrock rather than being neurodivergent or something.

Stay put, Ore.

ah ha so it was a pun after all

By the time the mightyena managed to slide to a stop, sections of the rock wall were already crumbling and crashing down on top of it. There was a sharp whine, and then there was only the sound of rock settling.

So do they put the rock walls back together at the end of the day after rock attacks like that have been used? What do they do about the rocks thrown around, actually? They should have a clean arena for every challenger, right? If this was addressed, I missed it. If not, there's another detail that you could add to further make the gym seem more realistic.

Purple light radiated from Orwell and then lashed towards the other pokemon, bursting into flames. The mightyena jumped back, but was soon caught inside a circle of purple fire.

you see if this story was an anime, this is the scene that someone would edit johnny cash over

The mightyena barked and, from nowhere, a pair of shadowy jaws appeared around Orwell and snapped shut. The solrock tried to spin free, but the shadow-teeth yanked it down.

live action reenactment

"Bury it."

"Crunch it!"

unfortunately, this special edition of bop it never caught on

With a snort and a toss of the mightyena's head

geez luna we know youre upset but you didnt need to decapitate yourself over it

At that Mark grinned. "No. You won." Then he held out a plastic token and explained, "This is your pass to battle Roxanne. When you beat her, she'll trade you this token for a badge."

alternatively, you can exchange it for ten shots on the skeeball machine

The gym would almost certainly not be open tomorrow, but he couldn't say that here. And if she came back to the gym at her usual time—

👀👀👀

As the battle below started in earnest and Mark knelt to tend to Orwell, he briefly entertained the idea of bringing Natalie to the protest with him tomorrow—he could watch out for her, keep her from getting into more trouble than she could handle.

aw, just a protest? i thought he was gonna bomb the place

He caught a glimpse of Gibs before the liepard slipped inside a shadow and faded from sight.

i wish i had a cat that casually shifted between planes of existence

"So," he said, "you've been thinking?"

Natalie let out a sigh but smiled. "Yeah. About pipelines.

unfortunately, due to being a software engineering student, so have i

At that, Mark grinned. She was making this so easy. "No one gets anything done alone.

i mean..... you could if you did the bomb.....

He fought hard against the urge to roll his eyes. "It's not about scared. It's about being smart. You could get hurt if you're not—"

UGHH stop MANSPLAINING MARK let her join the death squadddd

---

I liked the further fleshing out of the gym system here a lot - the first chapter already had that, but this one taking place at the scene, it was much better demonstrative. It has the details that just make sense like going easy on challengers for consistent skill gating, a token to prove you've passed that skill gate and can take on the leader, having other pokemon than the type the gym is focused on but not using them, cycling between a larger group of trainers in shifts, so on.

We also see more of pokémon battling. I'm personally not a fan of pokémon battles in fic as I tend to have trouble choreographing the actions in my mind and generally think battles work better in a visual medium than in writing, but I think I followed along just fine here. I like the description of the moves, very vivid, but that level of detail kind of had me wondering what exactly the power scaling is like in this universe. Like a regular hyena would just absolutely die from getting rocks all over it, so clearly they can't just be animals. They also get hurt but keep fighting in more and more matches, so they must heal much quicker. Taking these into consideration, the part in the previous chapter about rescuing the pelipper from oil starts feeling kind of questionable. It also raises the question of just how dangerous wild mon are considered.

Actually, on the subject of oil - I'm pondering something about the subject. I'm a dumbass with no knowledge of how these things works, so bear with me...

From what I gather, they want to oppose the pipeline being built. But if the pipeline isn't built, DevCo will have to keep to oil tankers. The oil spill from before was caused by a tanker, and as a layman, pipes seem a lot safer to me than tankers. You can put valves in them to cut off the flow in case an area is damaged and leaks, which I don't think you can do with a ship. So given all this, being against the pipeline doesn't really make sense to me. Unless the building of the pipeline is super polluting and worse than the damage from the anticipated amount of future tanker spills. It might be, but like I said, I don't know. But I'd bet that plenty of other people also aren't that up to speed with all this stuff, so it may be good to give a helping hand and spell things out a little for us dunces in the audience.

Alright, I think that's it for my thoughts. As always, hmu in a reply or on the Discord if you want to ask about anything. See you around.

 

[WildBoots]

Hey Canis! I'm still really tickled that we essentially swapped brooding boys who like the color red. I enjoyed my half, and I'm glad it seems like you had fun with yours too!

Spoiler: Canis Chapter 2 Reply

thanks again for the cliff notes

Yeah, TBH, I wish stories had this more often, especially ones that have been going for a long time and have a big jump in writing ability partway through. Skip me ahead to the good stuff!!

I looked this up and ibuprofen is indeed the compound itself rather than a brand name

🤯 I didn't realize!

YO AISHA FROM NEOPETS IS IN THIS??

I also didn't realize there was an Aisha in Neopets, lol.

meme word meme word this fic can no longer be serious

I am sorry to report that kyeugh has already beaten you to this joke.

I would've liked to get some elaboration on this within the chapter, as it can have pretty big implications for what the role of gym leaders in this world depending on its context.

Hm, maybe! I'm not sure if there's a place for it because, in all honesty, this is the last chapter where we've got our feet in the world of gyms and "normal" training. I'll see if I can squeeze in some dismissive mental eye rolling from Mark about it in that conversation with Hilary, but truly this is most of it: she's seen as having done some stuff with education, and people like Hilary like her for it.

this paragraph really confirmed that this story is a romance

If it makes you feel better, this is the last of it for a long time. In Chapter 3, they don't interact very much. At the beginning of Chapter 4, they're uneasy with each other, and by the end of the chapter, they're definitely enemies. And then they continue hating each other and trying to harm each other all the way up to ... a future point I haven't gotten to yet.

It's kind of odd that none of the other challengers or staff question him about his open head wound*? *dramatization A passing mention about that would have done it for me.

Hilary and Natalie both did! I can maybe sneak something in for Aisha, I guess? It's not really an actively bleeding wound for the most part, though. It's a scab that's reopened. I don't think a challenger would think much of it--there are literal rocks flying around, after all.

me when the "law enforcement" tell me it is "criminal" and "against common decency" to go out in the street naked, pouring ketchup over myself and calling myself "the human hotdog"

Wow, Canis, we sure are learning about each other today.

not even a fight to the death

Not this time.

hrrm hrrm the ears againnn

Ah, you're right. I forgot to catch this one when I fixed the other one.

I think you could go with just "if Orwell felt emotions the way humans did," we will assume not feeling emotions the way humans did is about Orwell being a solrock rather than being neurodivergent or something.

This one I actually have fixed in my draft already, but I haven't made those updates live yet. Turns out that later chapters establish that, actually, Ore does feel anxiety much like a human. Or close enough.

ah ha so it was a pun after all

It's puns all the way down, babey. All of Mark's pokemon are named for writers of speculative fiction, but Ore is also a rock pun. :D

So do they put the rock walls back together at the end of the day after rock attacks like that have been used? What do they do about the rocks thrown around, actually? They should have a clean arena for every challenger, right? If this was addressed, I missed it. If not, there's another detail that you could add to further make the gym seem more realistic.

I had some content like this but ultimately decided that passage didn't add much to the chapter. I maybe could add a line about them pausing to fix the walls. I think leaving some rocks lying around on the floor is part of the thing, though. If your pokemon can't handle an uneven arena, they ain't ready for Roxanne.

I'm glad you were enjoying the fleshing-out of gym stuff in general, though!

unfortunately, this special edition of bop it never caught on

You got me. I laughed. Yeah, battle dialogue is kinda the worst, but I'm not sure what else to do with this one. 🤷‍♂️ The Bop-It bops on.

alternatively, you can exchange it for ten shots on the skeeball machine

Honestly, she might as well have.

aw, just a protest? i thought he was gonna bomb the place

If I can offer a spoiler about how that protest ends:

And they left destruction in their wake: overturned cars smoldered, filling the air with the stink of burning rubber. Someone in a Guy Fawkes mask galloped past on a rapidash, brandishing a burning Hoenn flag. Broken glass scattered the street. Iron Avenue looked like it had been bombed. How had it happened so fast?

So .......... 🙃 Civil disobedience hits different when everyone has pokemon.

i wish i had a cat that casually shifted between planes of existence.

Spoiler answer: so does Mark.
Vanilla answer: omg I don't. My cat sneaks out too often as-is. (He got out this morning, actually. 😠 ) He does not need shadow powers on top of everything else.

but that level of detail kind of had me wondering what exactly the power scaling is like in this universe. Like a regular hyena would just absolutely die from getting rocks all over it, so clearly they can't just be animals. They also get hurt but keep fighting in more and more matches, so they must heal much quicker. Taking these into consideration, the part in the previous chapter about rescuing the pelipper from oil starts feeling kind of questionable. It also raises the question of just how dangerous wild mon are considered.

Pokemon heal more quickly because they have trainers giving them potions! They might regenerate a little faster than regular animals would (especially if they know how to do something like recover), but they still can't do it indefinitely. Oil is pretty gnarly stuff--it's sticky and smothering AND, bonus, it's toxic. So when they try to clean it off themselves, they eat it. Poison can fuck up pokemon, too, if you don't give them an antidote or something. And before they even get the chance, the oil might utterly smother them. Even magical monsters need air--or at least the bird ones do. They're not indestructible. I don't imagine they'd do well with a threat like this that's not typically found in their environment, especially without trainer help. (Like, how many pokemon graveyards are there in the games? At least three or four.)

From what I gather, they want to oppose the pipeline being built. But if the pipeline isn't built, DevCo will have to keep to oil tankers. The oil spill from before was caused by a tanker, and as a layman, pipes seem a lot safer to me than tankers. You can put valves in them to cut off the flow in case an area is damaged and leaks, which I don't think you can do with a ship. So given all this, being against the pipeline doesn't really make sense to me. Unless the building of the pipeline is super polluting and worse than the damage from the anticipated amount of future tanker spills. It might be, but like I said, I don't know. But I'd bet that plenty of other people also aren't that up to speed with all this stuff, so it may be good to give a helping hand and spell things out a little for us dunces in the audience.

👀 Well, one, you're not a dunce. That's a reasonable argument from an outsider perspective, and I wouldn't expect everyone to have studied this stuff, lol. I write about these themes because I want to talk about them, so I'm glad you said something!

So, yes, pipelines are a little safer than tankers. But more safe doesn't mean actually good, lol. Here are some more crunchy numbers from Business Insider if you like that kind of data, but the short and sweet of it is that pipelines still leak a lot. All of the worst spills that I know of are from tankers, but pipelines do leak frequently, and those leaks are more likely to go unnoticed in a timely manner (with an average response time of nine hours!). I put this pipeline at Meteor Falls to echo concerns over real-life pipeline placement and water sources. They're often put in stupid places. :] Meteor Falls has so much water running through it, I can't imagine it's not a water source for this part of the country (and Chapter 3 gets into that a little), which makes it riskier.

Really, though, the pipeline/tanker question is a false dichotomy. Our world definitely has access to a variety of renewable energy types, and we know the pokemon world does, too. (See: Sunnyshore, HGSS's Newbark.) Chapter 7 nods to pokelectric power, too--and shows how DevCo runs smear campaigns against it. That chapter also hints that there might be ethical issues with that kind of energy production, but it definitely isn't spilling barrels of crude everywhere. There is, however, lots of room to criticize the approach that folks will choose in Chapters 3 and 8--there's a difference between advocating for renewables and blowing up infrastructure. 🙃

This stuff is pretty complicated, so there's no one answer in the text. It's scattered all over the story because it's something that they're grappling with over and over in various ways, slowly learning that there's more to it than they initially wanted to believe. Chapters 12 and 13 deal with MetFalls specifically and unpack some of the indigenous rights issues, which OSAS implies by introducing the Draconids and that are definitely part of the discourse on pipelines in the US. Maxie points out some statistics about pipeline spills in Chapter 5 (though he applies them for dubious purpose) and makes some demands for renewable energies in Chapter 11. ... Aaaand all throughout, characters are making decisions that aren't necessarily the most logical or the best for the environment. The real politics are messy, and they are here, too.

Thanks, as always. :D

 

[WildBoots]

Chapter Forteen: Stone Sober​

Mauville looked pretty from up here, actually. The soft path lights were set among the flower beds, turning both the strolling couples and the trees into silhouettes, the high rises luminous beyond them. Improbable pillars of glass speared up through the foliage, pulsing pink and then blue. Below the walkway, traffic still hissed and honked, but Gracidea Park felt removed, sheltered. Mark couldn’t resist pausing at the railing to take in the cool air and the scent of night-blooming jasmine—but only for a moment. Time was short.

Montag hadn’t named a specific meeting point, just Gracidea Park, thirty minutes. It was safer that way, of course, but it was also inconvenient: the park was over a mile long, changing elevation to skim the roofs of buildings or to dip for street-level access. Mark had little choice but to start at one end and continue down, trying not to look like he was looking for someone.

The longer her walked, the more disenchanted he became. All he could think about was the amount of water it must take to maintain such a lush space in the middle of the high fucking desert. Mauville was the opposite of Nimbasa in that way, actually: Mauville was pumping water into the desert, but Unova’s desert had spread as the cotton boom sucked water out of the grasslands. He wondered what withered so that Mauville could flourish.

Near the midway point of Gracidea Park was a space almost like an amphitheater, where the walkway dropped away to low, wide steps facing a glass wall. The steps offered a view of the intersection, thick with tourists and rhinestoned street performers and trainers and drunks and fortunetellers, even at this time of night.

The steps themselves were empty, but a man stood in shadow at the top, his hands folded behind him. His back was turned toward the walkway and Mark, but with the claydol spinning slowly at the man’s side, he didn’t need to look to be aware of his surroundings.

On either side of the lookout point, stairs led down to the street—two exit routes, teleporting away with the claydol a third. Montag was always prep—

But it wasn’t Montag at all.

As the claydol rotated, its eyes cast dim lights on the path, not pink but golden. Mark stopped in his tracks, but he was already close enough to see that, although the figure at the top of the steps wore a tailored black jacket like Montag, his hair shone silver in the dim light. For the second time on one day, Steven Fucking Stone had stepped in his way.

He started to backpedal, but Stone was already turning to face him, a smirk playing across his lips. “There you are. I was expecting you ten minutes ago.” Stone took a few slow steps toward him, but the claydol hung back, humming like a fluorescent light. “Were you expecting someone else?”

Mark decided to stand his ground. He was already fucked—Stone wouldn’t have come alone. If the cops were going to drag away, he’d go with his head held high. “How did you find me?”

Stone absent-mindedly spun one of his rings. “Did you know that metagross have near perfect memory? Del caught the signature of your cellphone up on Meteor Falls.” He continued to slink towards Mark, still twisting his ring back and forth. “From there it was simple enough to use cell towers and records from your service provider to find you … and so much more.”

He abruptly stopped and looked up at Mark through silver lashes. “Don’t look so surprised. Of course I have those kinds of connections.”

“So, where are your cop buddies?” Mark said tiredly. “You stalling for time, Stone?”

“No.” Stone tipped his head to one side, distinctly like a jeweler appraising a gem. “It’s just you and me.”

So that’s how it was gonna be. Mark smiled grimly, running through both of their teams in his mind. At full strength, Rand might be able to take the metagross, though—gods—he still wished he had Gibs. Octavia for the cradily—no the skarmory. He swallowed, then squared his shoulders. “I won’t go down without a fight.”

“I’m counting on it.” Stone showed his straight, white teeth. He was too close. There was hardly room to release a pokemon between them “I came here expecting a battle—”

He stepped forward, Mark dropped hand to his belt, but Stone was already grabbing then front of his t-shirt.

“—of tongues!”

Steven’s lips were cool and firm. Their tongues battled for dominance, because it wouldn’t be a proper fic if they didn’t. When it was clear it was a tie, Steven pulled away, wiping his hand across his mouth, and said, “I have no choice but to admit you’re my equal, you rabble rouser.”

“I- I don’t understand.” Mark felt lightheaded. Get out of here, you idiot, he screamed at himself. Run! But instead he found himself leaning towards Stone as if by magnetic attraction. “I thought you wanted to throw me in jail.”

“Well.”

Heat crept into Mark’s face as Stone hooked his fingers into his belt loops and drew him closer.

“I didn’t want you to become the one who got away.”

They kissed a lot, and it was very manly and cool. Then, hand-in-hand, they climbed onto Delorean’s back, Steven settling into Mark’s lap. The metagross lit up, rumbled, and shook until it launched them into the sunrise, the tails of Mark’s flannel fluttering behind them.

—

Meanwhile, in a back room of the Sootopolis Museum of History, Brandon Harrison jolted awake, knocking his mug off the desk. Cold coffee splashed his jeans and a lot of priceless, irreplaceable documents, but he didn’t care. He’d figured it out. He’d figured out the entire thing. Gods, how had it taken him so long to see what was right in front of him?

He ran a finger across the stone tablet, grinning as his years as a starraptor scout came flooding back. The engravings weren’t constellations at all. Not ancient letters, not braille … It was morse code.

Harrison sounded the words out as he went, “We … hereby … submit … these … orders ….”

Yes, yes, of course! They were proclamations! By the gods, he’d solved the Arcean mysteries at least.

Breathlessly, he continued reading. “These orders: one large pepperoni, one large half-olive half- mushroom, and one pineapple and ham ….”

—

With Mark keeping Steven busy, DevCo was easily beaten down by what was left of Magma. Orca did its part by running ocean cleanup efforts—until they became distracted by a message in a bottle and became consumed by a treasure hunt instead.

Meanwhile, Natalie continued to had a great time on the party boat. She learned how to repair the engines, played gin rummy with her brother and his crew, and drank margaritas on a deck chair. With the loose threads of the plot, she made herself a friendship bracelet, and that was that.

The end. Of the entire story.

Spoiler: Notes/Apology

Listen. Y'all wanna shit post about my enemies to lovers story? Be careful what you ask for.

I am actively working on the actual new chapter(s). The first 300 or so words of this are real-ish, give or take some line edits. About halfway done, expecting to finish Chapter 14 in April! Luckily, Chapter 15 includes a lot of content I wrote in February. It needs retooling, but the wait between 14 and 15 won't be as long as the wait between 13 and 14 has been.

Thanks for your patience. Happy April Fool's Day!

 

[kintsugi]

The longer her walked

*he
I was going to make a shitpost about how every word in this shitpost must be perfect but it occurs to me that the beginning might actually be used in the real chapter 14

“From there it was simple enough to use cell towers and records from your service provider to find you … and so much more.”

He abruptly stopped and looked up at Mark through silver lashes. “Don’t look so surprised. Of course I have those kinds of connections.”

SILVER LASHES UWU

Stone tipped his head to one side, distinctly like a jeweler appraising a gem.

I actually feel like this is from the regi chapter? if not it's a criminally good metaphor for a shitpost

When it was clear it was a tie, Steven pulled away, wiping his hand across his mouth, and said, “I have no choice but to admit you’re my equal, you rabble rouser.”

HE WOULD KNOW THINGS ABOUT TIES

Breathlessly, he continued reading. “These orders: one large pepperoni, one large half-olive half- mushroom, and one pineapple and ham ….”

these fucking HEATHENS

Then, hand-in-hand, they climbed onto Delorean’s back, Steven settling into Mark’s lap. The metagross lit up, rumbled, and shook until it launched them into the sunrise, the tails of Mark’s flannel fluttering behind them.

perfection. the flannel is the character I was most excited for so I'm glad we get full closure there.

this is so good. i always thought CD was kind of weird for having slow burn romance and people being characters before being lovers but i'm really glad you fixed that.

 

[Persephone]

Hello I did the webcomic reading thing where you look at the last chapter first and then, if it's good, you go back to the start.

I will not be going back to the start. Not only did you mispell "forten" but you also skipped a battle. I hate people who skip battles. Show me the whole thing, you coward. And no one actually puts pineapple on pizza. That's something Tumblr made up to scare children.

0/10 full "fite" or gtfo

 

[unrepentantAuthor]

Well, this was a fantastically entertaining read. Thank you.

e to maintain such a lush space in the middle of the high fucking desert. Mauville was the opposite of Nimbasa in that way, actually: Mauville was pumping water into the desert, but Unova’s desert had spread as the cotton boom sucked water out of the grasslands. He wondered what withered so that Mauville could flourish.

Hope this makes it into the actual chapter. It's very good, and also a mood.

—of tongues!”

YES!! This is just what I've always wanted to see out of this fic. Enemies to lovers, battling with their tongues! Perfect

Their tongues battled for dominance, because it wouldn’t be a proper fic if they didn’t. When it was clear it was a tie,

Every word of this hits so good. Fucking gold.

They kissed a lot, and it was very manly and cool.

What's better than this? Just two guys, being dudes. Just dudes being gay.

Delorean’s

Is this for real the name of his fucking metagross because I unironically love it

With the loose threads of the plot, she made herself a friendship bracelet

Pffffft please Boots you're killing me here.

This was excellent and tbh I can't imagine how the actual fic will ever measure up to this. Anything but Mark making out with Steven will come as a giant let-down. So sorry to break the bad news.