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Pokémon Broken Things

NebulaDreams

Ace Trainer
Partners
  1. luxray
  2. hypno
Chapter 13

You feel a purr shake through her and into you. Why? She should be much more panicked. You’re her best kit by far.

Even in flashback, Pix is still the best.

You glance up to Avalanche and give one last mewl pleading for help. For a moment her expression breaks and you see your mother, not a hunter. Then she turns around and slowly starts walking back up as the barrier falls.

:cry:

Chapter 14

Mother opens up a clever barrier from her cave into—Another cave?! Then she walks down the tunnel until she reaches—Another another cave??!! And this one feels weird and has strange sounds. You want to explore it but Mother tightens her grip on you. Then the cave stops and the wall slides open into—Another another another cave???!!! How deep underground were you?

Yes, and into another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another...

She fumbles with something at her waste

*waist?

Did Mother kill her?!

{No.} Mother messages you. In your mind! How?! {She’s just gone for a moment. I will bring her back later.}

MOTHER CAN RAISE THE DEAD?!?!

I love Coco.

It’s hard to follow the conversation when only Mother makes sense and you can only sort of tell what Nurse means from her tone and actions.

Again, this is where the speech element kind of gets confusing, since it's not filtered out beyond Coco's understanding of Upper Draconic.

Why are their three adults?

*there?

Father nods. “But we can’t.” His face is already very wet but you swear that a little more flows down it. “I can’t take the damn tyrunt. That tells him the debt’s paid and we can go back to the way things were before...” He trails off.

Mother gently lifts herself up and pushes you and Pixie off of her legs. “Hug?”

Father walks across the room and embraces Mother in his very long arms. They stand still for several breaths in the center of the den before Father backs away with a muttered, “Thanks.”

Hmm, as satisfying as this moment was in the story, I felt the impact was a bit dampened by the narration. Having it filtered through the Pokemon's perspective does distance it a bit, but it would've been better if the narration had lingered on the actual hugging for a bit. I mean, this seems like a huge character development moment for the two, so a narrative pause would've really magnified that moment.

You’re a modern non-pokémon mammal and she’s a protobird pokémon from sixty-five million years ago.

I also wonder how they're able to bring ancient Pokemon into the modern times, considering this fic has had a much more grounded setting so far. Then again, it is canon with Sun and Moon, so maybe it's not unheard of.

She negation growls. “Not death. Sleep.”

I mean, Coco isn't wrong. Sleep and death are bedfellows, after all.

--

Well, crap, chapter 13 sure was depressing. I was enthusiastic to learn about Pixie's past for a while, since it's implied she had suffered a streak of abuse through each trainer she was passed down to. While I wasn't expecting to see her past with Avalanche put into focus so soon, I'm glad I got to this point, since it really puts Pixie's character into perspective. Her separation anxiety has been a consistent trait of hers throughout the fic, but to see how it happened, and how Avalanche gave her up to protect her was heartbreaking.

Avalanche was also my favourite part of that chapter from a characterisation point of view. Obviously, she's as tough as you'd expect Pixie's mother to be, but the way the chapter played out really developed her grief nicely while filtering it through Pixie's POV, leaving a lot to the imagination. I mainly got the impression that she gave up Pixie to the human to save her, given her superstitions about the mountain as well as the death of her kits, but there might be a little more to that. Maybe she thought giving her to a trainer was the best thing that could've happened to her?

Aside from that, it was a bit sad to see Ce go, undoubtedly at Cuicatl's expense, but, well, the chapter after that gave us some reprieve from that.

Chapter 14's shift in tone was such a warm welcome. I've picked out the individual moments in the quotes beforehand, but Coco is fucking adorable. Goddamn, why do you keep hitting me with all these cute Pokemon in your story? While she has that same 'fish out of water' aspect that Pixie does when viewing the human world, her innocence and curiosity as well as her bloodlust made her narration such a joy to read. Despite my gripes with one passage, it was still satisfying to see Cuicatl and Kekoa become more friendly with each other.

While I got the gist of the story for the most part, it still felt a bit disjointed this time around, especially since it focused on the Pokemon as POV characters who have much less agency in the story and therefore less of an understanding of what's going on. But in any case, this has been another string of great chapters, and I'm excited to read more, as usual.
 
Normal 1.15

Persephone

Infinite Screms
Pronouns
her/hers
Partners
  1. mawile
  2. vulpix-alola
Normal 1.15: The Trainer and The Tower
Lila

Once upon a time a powerful trainer named Lila defended a tower in Hoenn.

*​

{Supūn.} The alakzam stands at attention. You wave a hand over the assembled crowd. {Start evacuating. Ask the pokémart staff in Ever Grande for ethers if you get tired.} He leaves.

“Shida, Hirune.” Your cradily and snorlax look towards you as they materialize. “Shida, use vines to hold the foundation together. Hirune, start shoring up the building with boulders.” You have no idea if that will work. You make sure not to let your pokémon know.

“Den’atsu.” The manectric barks. “Go up the hill and try to draw the bolts towards you.”

Finally you send out Mangurōbu and Opera. Your two first pokémon. “Mangurōbu when you rematerialize push all of the water away from you and off the roof. Opera, I need you to take me up.” Neither object as you withdraw your starter and walk towards Opera. The altaria settles low enough for you to get onto her back before she starts ascending. She’s slower than normal. It takes you a second to realize that altaria wings could get really, really heavy in the rain and you’ve never felt a downpour like this in your life. “Come on, keep going,” you mutter. She gives an adorable war cry and continues to ascend. Slowly ascend. Now she’s not even breaking even. You prime your swampert’s pokéball and lob it onto the roof. A flash of light tells you it was successful and you tell Opera to go down.

There’s a presence in your mind. Something impossibly big is looking right at you. “Protect!” you scream. For a second you think that you’re doomed. For a second the red light stands up against the rain. For a second it stands against a hydro pump. For a second you fly back into the wall as the shield breaks.

You use every bit of telekinesis in your body to slow your fall.

You take stock once you hit the ground. The presence is gone. The titans are focused on each other again. Your quick thinking and Opera’s best efforts mean that only most of your ribs are broken. Opera is—oh. A quick press of a button confirms what her neck already told you.

*​

There’s a knock at the door. You don’t say anything. Don’t move. Barely notice it. The door opens anyway and you see a white man in a suit enter. He walks over and sits down in a chair in front of you, between you and your pokéballs.

“It takes guts to teleport into the midst of fighting gods.”

You don’t know where he’s going with this. You let him continue.

“I should thank you. Two-hundred and thirty-six lives were saved.” And four were lost.

No. Far, far more than four.

“So,” the man leans back and clasps his hands. “What comes next for you?”

You open your mouth but the reply dies in your throat. What does come next? It was going to be the League but with four pokémon down you have no chance. No desire. League matches are controlled but you’d always be scared that two would become one.

He smiles. “Nothing?”

Nothing.

“Then may I offer you a job? I believe the International Police could use a daring hero such as you.”

“Not a hero,” you croak out.

He raises an eyebrow. “You put your life at risk to save others.”

You stare at him. He stares at you. Eventually he gets the hint, slides a business card into your hand, and leaves.

It takes a while. Four months, in fact. But eventually you call the number and say yes.

*​

If you’d known seven years ago what you know now you wouldn’t have accepted. Not because of the danger. Quite the opposite, in fact. You’d much rather be fighting UBs than facing your most dreadful opponent of all: meetings.

The other participants—Gladion, the kahunas, Admiral Wilford, and Governor Fisher—are already present when you and Looker teleport in. Selene was probably invited but since she’s always either very early or not attending at all you’re willing to bet that she’s not coming today.

Once you’re seated the admiral clears his throat. “Good morning and thank you for coming. I would like to begin this month’s meeting by discussing the recent activity of the Skulls.”

“Must we?” Hapu asks. “They’re small time criminals. I would prefer that we stick to the UBs.”

“They were ‘small time,’” the governor says. “That is no longer the case. Now they’re revolutionaries.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at the seriousness with which he says absurd things. “We’ve found pamphlets that say as much”.

“They’re kids who are mad at the government.” Hapu crosses her arms. “Do we need the military, the police, and the kahunas to go after them now?”

Now, of course, is a time when aliens show up in Alola one to three times a month.

“Especially now,” Admiral Wilford answers while puffing himself up a little and glaring down at the teenage kahuna. The latter doesn’t so much as blink. “They’re testing the waters. Burning buildings. Scaring off tourists. Stealing from trucks carrying construction materials. Who knows what they’ll do if we don’t show them that their actions have consequences?”

“I think we can all agree that no one wants a city taken over again,” Governor Fisher adds.

“You’re playing into Plumeria’s hands.” Oh boy. Gladion’s defending Team Skull after you fought so hard to get him and his Silvally onto the council in the first place. You don’t disagree with him. But he really needs to learn to read the room, manage his reputation, something. “You crack down on them. People get hurt. People get killed. That gives her propaganda and reasons to escalate. You want to really piss off the natives? Kill a bunch of their kids because they broke some shit.”

Red and teal flare around the table. Anger and conviction. You should step in. Or watch. They want to talk about the skulls they can talk about the skulls. Yeah. Watching is fine.

“If we let the rebels do whatever they want then we might as well just hurry up and surrender to them.”

Is Plumeria’s approval rating higher than the governor’s? You don’t actually know at this point. Probably not a good idea to ask. But you can quietly look it up under the table. He wins 27 to 23.

The admiral and the governor keep blustering at Gladion and Hapu. The older kahunas stay out of it but from their emotional colors you’re pretty sure that Nanu agrees with the governor and Olivia and Hala side with Hapu. Experience tells you that Looker’s against the skulls. Counting votes leaves you four to four. Time to tiebreak.

“Can we vote on taking direct and coordinated action against Plumeria as a council?” Formal. Maybe too formal for Hapu and Gladion. Glances are shared. Eventually Molayne shrugs and gives you a ‘sure’ of approval.

Four votes for action, as you predicted. Four votes against plus your own. No need to waste time and resources on some kids with middling pokémon and no idea what they’re doing.

“Well then,” the admiral crosses his arms and actually growls. “Anything else we need to talk about?”

“VStar,” Olivia says in her distinctly kind-but-no-nonsense tone.

“What about them?” the governor asks. “And why talk about them here and not at the ecology board?”

Judging by his emotions you’re pretty sure that Rachel has him wrapped around her finger. You’ll need to have another talk with her. She’s not actually a controller and you can’t punish her just for being an effective lobbyist but sooner or later the wrong person will get too paranoid and you’ll be left to clean up the mess.

“Tapu Lele’s taken notice.”

“As has Tapu Koko,” Hala adds.

“And Fini.”

For a long moment no one dares to speak. There’s an interesting mix of anger and solemn acceptance around the table.

“So what,” the governor finally says. “They’re going to throw another hissy fit and destroy a city if our democratically elected government doesn’t bow to their every whim?”

“That’s possible,” Olivia says in a neutral tone you couldn’t have managed under the circumstances.

“Could they withhold assistance against the UBs?” you ask.

“Also possible.” The Akala kahuna looks towards you with a neutral face masking sadness and anger.

That’s bad. Even with the tapus you’re barely eking out wins and every loss has the potential to snowball if defenders are killed or demoralized. “I think it might be worth appeasing our allies, then.”

“Selene’s beaten Tapu Koko, right?”

“I’ve done what now?” The champion enters the room. Her emotions are a mess and you’re pretty sure she’s got a new scar or two from the last time you saw her. Definitely a little bit paler. Someone else follows her. A woman in a spacesuit with gray skin. You can sort of see her mind’s colors but they’re subtly wrong. Tones you usually don’t see in configurations that don’t make any sense.

The woman outlines a square with her hands. “Alola, people of Alola.”

Selene sits and her guest follows. This is the first time that the champion’s brought someone back from Ultra Space. “Now,” Selene says as she sits down at the head of the table, “I would like to hand off the discussion to my new friend, Soliera.”

Hala starts but gets shut down by a glare from the champ. He takes the message. Whatever was being discussed before can wait for now. Soliera clears her throat. “Good day. I am with the Ultra Recon Squad.” Multiple eyebrows are raised and heads are tiled. No one but Selene seems to actually know what that is. Thankfully the alien gets the hint. “We monitor and police threats in Ultra Space. It gives me no pleasure to inform you that one is heading towards your planet.”

“On top of the UBs?” you ask.

She makes a clicking sound with her tongue. “This is far more serious. There are light-based beings that roam the void. When healthy they are benevolent and freely share their energy with others. They are called necrozma, blinding ones, guiding lights.” She closes her eyes and her voice drops lower. “When they are wounded they seek out new worlds to drain the light from to heal themselves. They can drain countless worlds and still never be content. One took notice of yours after a strange spike in energy four years ago. It should arrive in less than one of your planet’s orbits.”

Of course it would. Because on top of everything else Alola needed a world-ending monster dropped right on top of it. The universe can’t let you keep six pokémon for long.

*​

“Hey! Wait up a sec!” you turn around to see Nanu walking towards you. For once his inside is as grim as the outside. “Molayne wanted to fix up your scanner. New model or whatever”

“Sure,” you pull yours out of your pocket and hand it to him. “Want a ride to his lab.”

“Whatever.”

Supūn ferries him over as you consider your schedule.

*​

The North Point Pokémon Center is close enough to your condo that you can just walk. Might as well since it’s a very nice day. Warm with a mild sea breeze. Gives you some time to glance over the files you have on the new girl. Cuicatl Ichtaca. Long green hair, dark skin, cataracts. Kind of gaunt. Citizen of Anahuac. Two pokémon registered. Vulpix, OT Raphiel Brooks. Tyrunt, OT Cuicatl Ihctaca.

Tyrunt? Really? How? Why?

She has an American mother but is not a citizen. Arrived on a challenge visa September 20, 2019. No official record of her powers. There are a few documents from Anahuac attached. Strange mix of terrible and stellar grades. Legally emancipated from her living father. Deceased mother and twin—oh shit that was three months ago.

You’ve seen the statistics and the reality enough times to know that surviving psychic twins are more likely than not to die within the next year, often by their own hand. It’s concerning to say the least. You’ll need to do a full scan. You’d need permission but as the semiofficial regulator of the Alolan psychic community you’d be the one to semiofficially grant it so—approved. Full scan is semiofficially legal now.

Your mind bushes against hers well before you reach the center. A quick glance shows that she’s on a bench overlooking a golf course and the ocean. Well, if your mind has found hers she’s probably aware of you so there’s no time to go back into the records.

“Hey, I’m Lila.”

She turns towards you and smiles at an invisible person to your left. “Cuicatl Ichtaca. Good to meet you, ma’am.”

“Sir,” you correct on reflex. Her expression wavers and her feelings, slightly obscured behind anti-telepath defenses, shift to shame. You wave off her concerns. She doesn’t notice.

“Are you trans?” she asks.

“Sort of.” You sit down at the bench and glance at the two white pokémon—does that tyrunt have fluffy white down feathers? Anyway. Gender. “Non-binary, I think.” Haven’t had another psychic outright confirm it to you. Not sure what the confirmation would even be worth since minds are internally inconsistent and can change by the minute.

The girl doesn’t say anything. The vulpix on her lap stares at you and the tyrunt behind her on the bench stands up tall to get a better look. Onus is on you to restart the conversation. “Enough about that. You can call me Lila.”

“Cuicatl Ichtaca.” Every time she speaks she sends you a psychic signal. You’d been letting them bounce off your shield but maybe you should actually read one. A few thoughts set up a quarantine. “Both words,” she practically whispers. It sends out a signal for you to translate. ‘Both words.’ In Japanese. No accent. Huh. That’s probably her specialty. You leave up a few mental stopgaps but otherwise let yourself receive the messages. Kid’s not attacking. Looks way more scared of you than you are of her.

Wait, did Rachel tell you about your formal job? Because if she only knew she was talking to a cop, well, in this climate you really couldn’t blame her for being terrified. “What were you told you about me?”

“You watch over the psychics on the islands. That’s all.” She starts ruffling the fur on her vulpix’s head. Nervousness? “Did I do something wrong?”

She’s done a few things that weren’t ideal. She should’ve reported her powers right off the bat. Rachel might be able to get things smoothed out but in any event it would look too much like the community protecting its own from otherwise neutral laws. Not a great look. Unfortunately, you’re in a position where the best thing for her, you, and the community is for her to just not report it.

“No.” No reason to tell her about all of that. It would scare her and kids can do dumb things when they’re scared. As can adults. “I just like to check in with new psychics on the islands. Welcome them to Alola, talk about options, lay down the rules, the usual.”

She frowns. “Miss Bell said you would talk to me about schools.”

Makes sense. They’d probably be good for her Having a structured, supportive environment is seldom a bad thing.

“Right. There are a few schools on the mainland. Probably one in Anahuac.”

“There is,” she mutters. “They use us as spies.”

Oh. Well. Tiny blind girl might not be the best spy. Too noticeable. But the language filter would help a lot.

“The government doesn’t make psychics do anything here,” you lie. White lie. There’s registration, occasional psych evals, semiofficial supervision, a few laws that Rachel likes to come dangerously close to breaking… and annual talks with CIA and FBI recruiters. The recruitment talks are mandatory but accepting isn’t. The distinction would probably be lost on her anyway.

Wouldn’t matter. She still doesn’t seem to buy it.

“Any particular reason that you aren’t interested?” you ask.

“Money.”

Well. She’ll get along fabulously with Rachel, then. Or they’ll become business rivals and die cordial but mortal enemies.

“School would be free for you.” That one isn’t even a white lie. The government would much rather have psychic kids in one place where they’re easily supervised and sheltered from the worst of poverty during their formative years. Lessons learned from the empath defectors of the Cold War.

“No.” She shakes her head and green locks fall into her face. “I need seven hundred and eighty-one thousand dollars.”

It sounds like a joke but she’s dead serious. You reflexively switch into cop mode. “Why? You on the run from—”

American-born mother. Green hair. Language-based telepathy. Hell, you’re pretty sure you heard somewhere that one of his cousins was blind. You take a deep breath. She has far darker skin than you’d expect. You could still be wrong.

“Any of your ancestors Korean?”

The girl blinks. “My grandmother. Why?”

“My former boss might’ve worked with a relative of yours.” Hard to even call that a white lie when ‘worked with’ means ‘hunted.’ Unsuccessfully hunted, but hunted nevertheless. Probably for the best there. You don’t want to imagine his old boltund trying to take down Zekrom. Anyway, time to bring him into this.

[Can I ask you a question about N?]

[Yes.]​

His absurdly prompt responses stopped surprising you years back. He’s probably slightly precognitive. Truth be told you were already typing your next message out.

[He ever contact his birth relatives?]

Something starts beeping incessantly beside you. Supūn is standing there with the new Ultra Scanner in hand, lights blazing and sounds blaring. You snatch it away from the pokémon and shut it off. Supposedly there’s a UB right on top of you. “Excuse me for a second.”

You get up and walk far enough away from the bench that even with the girl’s blindness-enhanced hearing she won’t be able to overhear you. Then you dial Molayne. He picks up on the third ring.

“Hello. Any problems?” He sounds cheery enough. Something deep inside of you wants to rip into him even more for it.

“I set it off.”

You can hear the awkward swallow over the line. “Okay. Uh, send it back and I’ll see what I can do.” He clearly wants permission to end the call. You won’t give it to him.

“You know I hate it when this happens, right?”

“…I can imagine how you’re feeling, yeah.”

“No. You can’t.”

The Kahunas lied to you. Looker lied to you. Supūn lied to you.

Everyone lied to your face for years and now he pretends to know how you feel.

*​

On May 7, 2014 a wormhole opened near North Point. Two police officers showed up to investigate, prepared to fight whatever demon came through. They found a young woman covered in bruises. She was asked her who she was. The asker isn’t in the record. The woman answered in Japanese. A few minutes later she would be translated as saying:

“My name is Lila. I come from Hoenn. I was a powerful trainer who defended a tower.”

There were six pokéballs on her belt. Four were broken. One held a snorlax, the other an alakazam.

The alakzam introduced himself as Supūn. He told the men that his trainer was psychic and Ultra Space with its alien minds slowly eroded hers. He only kept his sanity because his trainer decided to keep him in his ball as much as possible and rely only on herself and her other pokémon.

Apparently, she found her way out.

The alakzam translated the woman’s words. The words that she continued to mumble to no one in particular while picking up sand and letting it run through her fingers and onto her tattered, blood-stained clothes. He said they were true. He refused to provide more context. He’d lost some of it himself. And he said then as he would say many more times in the future, “Knowing what she had wouldn’t make her any happier now.”

She was taken to Tapu Lele. He made the woman whole by shredding everything that was real and weaving a lie between the words she’d said. A lie that the International Police supported with forged documents and even an actress claiming to be her mother. A lie that conveniently left behind a faller willing to do exactly what the lie’s crafters wanted from a faller.

Convenient how that worked out.

At first you’d accepted their explanation that you’d fought enough UBs that the aura just rubbed off on you and drove more near. As you learned more and more about them you slowly realized that’s not how things worked. Eventually everything fell apart after you really dug into your documentation.

Now you keep living the lie because what else are you going to do? Abandon the people to alien ambushes because their leaders were manipulative? Doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it. Doesn’t mean you’ll take it when a kahuna rubs it in your face.

*​

You end the call to find a text from Looker.

[Sounds like something he would do. Why?]​

Deep breath. You didn’t come here for N. You didn’t come here for your own demons. You came here to do a wellness check on a child. Everything else can wait a few minutes. {Supūn, I need help doing a silent scan.}

Silent scans are one where the target doesn’t notice. On a trained psychic they’re next to impossible, even with pokémon help. She’s not trained. Rather than smooth walls her defenses are ever moving chainsaws. Most of it will hurt if touched. It’s good combat form. Not good standing form. Leaves holes. You point out one you’d noticed to your alakazam and he forms the link. Alright time to look.

While you have some telepathic power you’re fundamentally an empath. You don’t look directly at the structure of her mind, just the impressions that things have left. Easiest to do for connections to other people.

It’s immediately obvious what parts used to directly connect to her twin. Differentiated personalities. That’s good. Means they shared less. Makes it easier to cope. Not easy—it still looks like her mind was messily sawed in half and error reports stack up every minute when an old routine doesn’t work. Could’ve been worse, though.

A few slightly atrophied connections. A father figure, an older sister(s?), and a younger one. A mother figure grouped separately from that cluster. That one is particularly strange. Almost like hero worship. Very few meaningful connections but a very clearly felt absence. Only been frayed for a few weeks, though. That one might require a deeper file review. Maybe even some document requests to Anahuac.

Then someone who was probably her actual father. Solid links to her and a bunch of the twin’s old emotional pathways seem to lead there. Oh boy. Some love, a lot of distance, fair bit of pain, and a very serious break around the time of the twin’s death. Then spite. It’s new but it already deeply stains her perception of him.

A few minor ones. Casual friends, teachers, distant pets, maybe a crush. None truly defining in her mental architecture. None terribly missed.

New connections. Ones formed entirely after the loss of the other ones. None that span both periods. Strange. Not calling home at all? Two fairly advanced links to other minds. Her pokémon. Complicated but satisfactory relationships. They give her headaches but probably also cuddles. Good, but not enough to anchor a person with. There’s a third recently broken link. More positive. Fewer headaches. Almost as much love as her starter. Relationship severed against her will. The connection’s become linked to the parent-sister figure clusters. Loss. Less hope of recovery. Were the unknown old connections with pokémon? Possible with her powers.

Two main human links. One has deep rings of annoyance and pain with a sheen of reliance and hope on top. Other is the opposite. Mostly positive with a level of fear and distrust at the surface. Neither is really deep enough to be sustaining.

Rachel. Fear, disappointment, some feelings similar to her parental figures. Authority. Authority that’s failed her a little and helped her a little.

Well. That’s all the new ones. Now for the biggest one. Her impressions of herself.

Bad. Deeply, horribly bad. Years long trails of hate, disgust, disappointment. Small threads and spots of love. Of hope. Recently blunted hope. Feelings turned decidedly darker and dimmer with her twin’s death. Close to ending things. You’re not comfortable adding her to the list of the dead yet but if you were a betting woman, well, you wouldn’t bet against it. You’ve seen happy people destroyed by their mind being shattered. She wasn’t happy to begin with.

You close the link and hand the scanner back to your alakazam. He teleports off without a word and you walk back to the bench. Kid’s a little paranoid. Probably because a cop walked off to make a long call after a very odd exchange.

“Hey, sorry, work called. Anyway, I have one last thing to take care of.”

“Okay…”

You really need to stop saying cryptic things and cutting off. Kid’s going to be justifiably terrified of you.

“Tapu Lele,” fuck him, “gives new psychics on the island a z-bracelet. Can I put it on you?”

She smiles a little. Inside and outside. “Okay.”

Fits perfectly without adjustment. That’s rare. Maybe the tapu had already scouted his new subject out himself. Wouldn’t be the first time. “Now, want to try it out?”

“I have a Normalium-Z,” she answers. “Pixie knows roar.”

Of course she already had a plan. Got her first Z-crystal and immediately thought about how she’d use it if she could. Roar’s a good testing move, too. Don’t need to put a pokémon in the way of it. Might piss off some golfers and you’d have to investigate yourself for a noise complaint. Nothing too serious.

“Alright, put the crystal in.” She takes out a smooth black case with one white crystal and seventeen empty spots. Heh. They’re really giving kids full cases. Encouraging them to seek out the hard ones, too.

You guide her hands through the (relatively simple) motions for the normal crystal. Her vulpix lights up and an instant later an ear-piercing shriek rumbles down the cliff. Some people start below. Let them. You remember the first time you used a crystal. Good memory. One of your first fond ones that was actually—Cuicatl collapses to her knees. Right. Shit. Rough on first time users.

You kneel down to help her and when you take her wrist you notice that her pulse is going crazy. s\She bends over and pukes. Her tyrunt rushes over but you push her aside. Bit rougher than your first time. She got vomit in her hair so you go behind her and hold it back in case she has to throw up again. She does and—seriously what is it with this dinosaur and vomit? At one point her arms give out and you catch her and oh wow you can really feel all of her ribs. Her heart is still trying to shake itself free of its constraints.

Extreme thinness. Self-hatred. Possible poverty? Cause doesn’t matter. You really shouldn’t have given her a Z-crystal. Damn it. Should have noticed.

“Mind if my snorlax carries you?” A weak nod. You send her out and gives the order.

Right after Cuicatl’s safely in the bear’s arms you feel her slip into unconsciousness.

Fuck.

*​

Her heart was still beating and she’d regained consciousness when you dropped her off. A few hours of watching your police scanner and the Center’s called for neither an ambulance nor the police. She’s probably fine.

As fine as a suicidal teenager living in the path of a wanted terrorist and a light-stealing abomination can be, anyway. No. Don’t think about necrozma. Not now. Problem for future Lila. Focus. Good things.

When Supūn brought back the scanner back it didn’t instantly flag you.

That’ll have to do for today.
 
Last edited:

GrayGriffin

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
any
Oooh, nice to get some more information about what's going on in the whole background of the fic. Also that bit about Tapu Lele is definitely slightly ominous. Wonder when he started stalking Cuicatl and if it has anything to do with her relation to N.

Also even though we only met Lila in this chapter the scene with them losing their first team was still really painful to read. And the bit where they make it out of Ultra Space with only their last two Pokemon.
 

NebulaDreams

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I don't have too much to say about this chapter, except that it served as a nice cap-off to Part 1 of the fic. It's nice seeing Cuicatl from another psychic's eyes (well, as nice as seeing into someone as self-loathing as her can get), and I especially enjoyed how the Alakazam was used in this chapter. Very clever way of connecting that Pokemon to the plot. This gave off a much wider scope of the plot than I originally would've anticipated at the start of this fic. While I was somewhat lost on some of the names, not having caught up on Unova and Alola's games, I got the gist of it just fine.

As for this fic overall? It's honestly become one of my favourites, and for a trainer fic to do that when it's not usually my cup of tea is a feat. There's that sense of verisimilitude you achieve with this fic with how much the narration gets inside the characters' heads and how it uses a more grounded setting. While you don't shy away from the really tough issues, you also have a great character-based sense of humour, as well as some really cute moments with the Pokemon, that keeps things from being too harrowing.

In any case, I'm really looking forward to your return when that comes, and again, thanks for sharing this with us. It's been an absolute treat so far.
 

windskull

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Oh, second person, it has been far too long since I last read you. This should be fun. Originally, I was going to go through chapters 1.1-4 for this first review, but since chapter 1.5 rounds out the pov chapters for the (current?) main cast, I went ahead and read through to that.

1
Well, that was a pretty interesting opening scene. I wonder if it’ll have something to do with the upcoming plot, or if it’s just meant to establish Rachel’s powers. I find it hard to believe it would be the former since so much time is spent on it, but I’ll have to wait and see.

Seems like Rachel’s got something some other things going on in the present that may or may not relate to her powers. I’ll have to wait and see how things go next time she gets a pov chapter before I say anything else on that though.

Has a tendency to talk a little too much when he’s lonely and just a little bit tipsy and thinks he can trust *.
Is the asterisk there for a reason? Or is this a typo?

Probably wool Might be handmade.
Missing period between Wool and Might.

2
Pixie. Pixie. Pixie. I love her. She’s obviously got her own issues that we’ll have to learn about at some point. Those injuries didn’t come from nowhere, after all.

Hm… I wonder if “Firemane” was just called in to help, or if something happened to her. It’s not totally clear to me, but I kind of feel like that was the point.

After that last scene, I’m looking forward to seeing how Pixie and Cuicatl interact as they get to know each other and what-not.

3
Genesis comes across as the kind of person who tries to convince themselves that they’re Not Racist… but they kind of are. I think I’ll have to give it a little more time before I can figure that out though.

I’d probably be more annoyed by Kekoa using a different name for Cuicatl if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s doing it to Genesis too. But I’ll talk about him more later.

4
And now I get to talk about Kekoa’s chapter. The narriative so far suggests he’s had it kind of rough, though whether that has something to do with being trans or other things (or some combination of the two) is yet to be determined. Regardless, he feels like he has a lot of bitterness in him. That last bit at the end of the chapter in particular was rough to read.

5
You’re a shitty trainer, but you didn’t break anyone forever. Not this time.
Not this time? Oh no.

Oof, that was a pretty heavy chapter to read. Cuicatl’s got a lot of self-confidence and mental health issues in general, and it hurts to see that. Guess that shows that I’ve gotten attatched to her pretty fast. From what I can gather, her mom and brother are both dead, and she’s not got a great relationship with her dad. I kind of get the feeling there might be more to her being in Alola instead of elsewhere than she lets on. At least she’s not being an ass about Kekoa being trans now that she knows, as far as I can tell.


To breifely gather my thoughts, this definitely feels like it’s going to be long. Five chapters in and we haven’t got very far into the story, and we’ve mostly just been introduced to the main cast. Though maybe things will pick up now that everyone’s been introduced? I’ll have to see.

As for characters, you’ve done a great job of making every character feel unique. But not just unique: flawed. This early on and I can already get a good read of what each character’s flaws are, which is something I don’t see very often. And that’s something I can appreciate.

I’ll be back to say more at some later date.
 
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windskull

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Ooh, another Pixie chapter. This should be fun!

Once again, I can’t help but love all the names that Pixie has come up with for the humans around her. A special shoutout to Growlsleep, which really got a kick out of me.

Skysong’s hand and she moves to cross her legs under you, forcing you to move to the edge of the seat before she abruptly stops.
This sentence is worded a bit oddly. And as a result it kind of took me out of the flow while I tried to figure out what it meant.

I like that Pixie picks up on all the little ways people are reacting around her, namely by scent. It’s one of those traits that helps her feel just a bit more like an animal.

So why is she acting like she doesn’t get it.
I think this should end with a question mark?

We get to see some of Pixie’s insecurities here, and I like that. The reason she’s insecure is still to be determined, but it definitely feels like abandonment issues, which I figure feed back to some of the stuff that was hinted at back in chapter 2.

You didn’t think you wanted falsefur, but the harness is sky blue with white curvy lettering and it matches your eyes and fur and it is perfect. You will wear it until it breaks and then scream until you are given one that is just as good.
This is adorable, but pray for everyone that it doesn’t break.

I hope Pixie doesn’t get sick from all that ice cream, but somehow I’m amused by the idea that she has eaten vanilite (or the vanilite line in general at least) before.

No. You will wait and then make your grievances known. Probably by hiding her white stick while she’s asleep. She hates it when you do that.
Pixie no.

It kind of feels weird to see Pixie use the word “patriarchal.” It doesn’t feel like something that would be in her vocabulary, based the way her narration usually goes, and it makes me wonder if there might have been a better way to express her understanding. Then again, she expresses understanding of what a refrigerator is down the line, so maybe she picked up the word somewhere? I don’t know, it just seems a bit odd to me.

Sounds like things might have gotten a bit heated while Pixie was hanging out in her pokeball - not that they weren’t already tense right beforehand.

All in all, that was a fun chapter to read. Pixie chapters in general are always a treat. Things ares till moving slow, but it sounds like the journey should be finally kicking off pretty soon? Looking forward to seeing that, and how it compares to how the trials go in game, based on the little world-building aspects you’ve introduced along the way.
 

Persephone

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gonna do some quick in-thread review responses for once because this got kicked off the front page.

@GrayGriffin i think a god taking interest in you is inherently ominous. especially in a world where the gods are capable of spectacular destruction. It also has the bonus of bringing this fic up on the mary sue tests. I see sue-ness as a competition and i plan to win.

i'm glad that the emotional beats worked for you. the problem with interlude narrators is that i have to skip a lot of development and go right to payoff and i'm never sure if any of it works or not.

n actually wasn't going to show up in the very first drafts but multiple people commented on it and, hey, she's half-american (sort of) and doesn't have contact with that side of the family so going with it didn't even require changing anything in her backstory.

@NebulaDreams ty very much for the praise. as for the comments, alakazam was one of the more lore-heavy entries of the alola dex. i tried to import about half of that into bt because their doesn't actually seem to be much reader overlap. as for the particular individual i just tried to imagine a situation where a trainer and their pokemon genuinely don't like each other anymore but still have reasons to leave. if only the unease around charting a new path.

@windskull i'm kind of going to gloss over a bit because some things are answered in later chapters (that are already posted).

firemane is the female protagonist from (ultra-ish) moon. in the game there's a quest where you have to cheer up a vulpix. but then you don't keep the vulpix. i imagine it's very stressed when the bigshot champion never comes back. of course as a nameless, minor npc there's no chance it has feelings or a future... right?

i've heard enough sorta complaints about the opening scene that it might get axed at some point. it is followed up on in 2.1. i can say that much.

while there are sort of recurring narrators who haven't showed up by the end of 1.5, the four who get by far the most screen time (pix / genesis / kekoa / cuicatl) have already been introduced.
 

windskull

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1.7 here we go.

The more little tidbits we see about Genesis’ religion, the more I get a feeling that “Genesis” is a very religious name and relates back to the belief system of Xerneas followers. On that note, I have a feeling we’ll get more information about that sooner or later.

No. time to push your limits
Capitalization error here.

The mantine scene in general was a treat to read. It was kind of nice, seeing Kekoa and Genesis have a genuine moment of peace and fun. I doubt it will last for long, but it’s still nice.

I also appreciate that we’re starting to get a bit of a hint of Genesis’ reason for going on the journey. Sounds like she’s had a pretty nasty falling-out with her parents. Or her mom, at least. What it was over is to be seen though.

I love that Pixie’s personality shines through even when she’s not the perspective character.

Exodus. I spy theme naming here, assuming Exodus is a sibling.

And it’s not manly like basketball or corrupting like cheerleading so Mom shouldn’t have a problem with it.
Yikes.

Team Skull is just as wonderful as I remember them being. Though, considering the timeline of events, I’m wondering who’s in charge. Were they never disbanded in this timeline? Are they just a disorganized mess? Guess I’ll have to keep reading to find out!

Hm… Wonder when that plot thread with Pixe will pick up.

Oof, I definitely understand the idea of wanting to see the best in people, but it doesn’t really feel like it was a bit more bad-faith than that, even if she doesn’t realize it. Especially with the preceding line. Wonder if we’ll learn more about your interpretation of Lusamine a bit more directly later.

And then Genesis had go and open her mouth and say something really insulting. Come on, girl, at least apologize. Things wouldn’t be as bad for you if you apologize. You obviously recognize that what you said was racist and shitty. You could just own up to it.

Maybe it’s just me, but with what the reader knows about Cuicatl’s own struggles, it makes it feel even harsher, even if Genesis has no way of knowing it.

Well, here we are! The kids haven’t accomplished much yet outside of upsetting each other. But we did learn some interesting tidbits. I’m particularly interested in the fact that there are still ultra beasts running amok. I can’t remember if you mentioned how much time has passed between the events of the game and the story, but I’d imagine it’s been a couple years. Regardless, I like that we’re still seeing the repercussions of Lusamine opening the ultra wormholes.

As for Genesis. Man, she makes me uncomfortable. But for some reason, I feel like I’m a bit softer on her than I should be. I kind of get the feeling it’s because I can see a younger version of myself in her, in a way. She hits a bit close to home to how I was as a teenager (except, minus the rich part. Lol.) That's not something I'm proud of, but that also means that I can see how much room she has to grow in her journey, I guess? I’m really excited to see how she develops, to be honest.

And that goes for all the main cast. They all feel real. They all feel flawed and human. And that makes me excited to see how they might grow and develop as the story progresses.
 

Namohysip

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(Chapter 2)

Coming back to this, I'm kind of surprised that we're only one chapter in and we've already switched perspectives... in a story that's in second person. I still hold by the fact that this is an extraordinarily weird design choice. I guess that's all I can really say about it since this is an ingrained part of the story, but it's definitely jarring.

Moving into the actual content beyond that, looks like we have Pixie as another one of the titular characters, though it's kept vague exactly what happened to her and her past. I think Negrek alluded to the fact that what she went through used to be more explicit, so I wonder if that's being saved for later, or if it's going to be kept vague; as of now, as a blind reader, though, I'm hoping we get more hints so I have a better picture of what's going on, at least slightly. Probably not worth it to go into full detail if it bogs down the story, but allusions here and there would definitely help.

I was wondering while looking through exactly what it would be that would get through to Pixie. After all, if she had already burned through so many trainers, what exactly would make this one so different? Oh, being a psychic, of course! That actually made a lot of sense, and that makes me wonder if there's some service out there for psychics to be on-call for communicating with Pokemon in that way. It seems like extraordinary utility, after all, even if it's perhaps done on the down-low.

I think the fact that Pixie isn't really the nicest Pokemon is an interesting gray area, and I'm curious where that'll take things going forward. She sees humans with animal-related nouns, is generally selfish and uncaring and egoistical, and while that doesn't really score many points for me in terms of enjoying reading her, I do wonder how that will change and develop as the story progresses. In particular, I think the final few passages were touching in their little, selfish way, where Pixie ended up giving a name to her new trainer. I think that was a good way to end off this chapter.

Guess we'll see what new perspective we'll be switching to, again, in the next one?
 

Adamhuarts

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So, I finally got to the chapter Pixie gets introduced, and I can already understand why a lot of people seem to like her. She surprisingly has a lot of personality as well as an ego for a pokemon. Her conceited nature reminds me of a stuck up princess that's actually better than everyone but no one acknowledges her talent due to how the society she's in works lol.

Cuicatl was also written pretty well in this chapter. I especially liked how she was quick to understand Pixie's nature and play along with the vulpix to gain her trust. Sometimes if you meet someone stubborn, it's better to just play by their rhythms after all lol. I wonder who Pixie was calling Firemane though, and whether we'll see her again. I was expecting she'd be the one to end up as Pixie's trainer, but I was only mildly disappointed that didn't turn out to be the case.
 

Chibi Pika

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Leaving some long-overdue thoughts on 14 and 15!

So first of all… Coco. omg Coco.

778.jpg


The funny thing is, I was actually wondering if the egg might be a dragon (given Cuicatl’s dragon-affinity) but I definitely wasn’t expecting Tyrunt! And I was wondering how Cuicatl would wind up in possession of the egg--I can't believe I never considered that it would just... imprint on her lol. And then I was like "oh crap how's Kekoa gonna react" but he was... actually relieved! And yeah, I can see how he wouldn't feel comfortable raising a Pokemon given to him by his brother, and this is kinda right up Cuicatl's alley anyway, so hey, win-win. (Except... I'm sure we haven't heard the last from Pixie on this.

Oh, and I basically lost it at “MOTHER CAN RAISE THE DEAD?!?!”

I was a little surprised that Coco came out of the egg so... cognizant! Not that it would have been fun to go through the chapter with her being a literal infant, but it was still surprising. Maybe dragon eggs take a lot time to develop and they can absorb language from within the egg.

And then hooo boy, Chapter 15 just went and dropped the plot on us, huh? Going into this story, I kinda expected it to be a down-to-earth, small stakes kinda deal. But then on discord you alluded to just how long this fic's gonna be. And then Groudon and Kyogre were in it. And then the foreshadowing with the ongoing Ultra Beast attacks. This is gonna be a hell of a ride, isn't it?
 

windskull

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Gonna squeeze one more review in before the week is over, and figured I’d do it on 1.8, since Broken Things really has been a highlight of what I’ve read the last few weeks. Let’s jump right in!

{Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Renfield. Your mother captured and raised me. Your… escort is Alice. I’m sorry that she startled you but I assure you that she’s harmless.
Dropped off a bracket at the end here.

Now that was a juicy little flashback. Not only did it introduce the fact that Cuicatl didn’t grow up with her mom’s pokemon and that they instead they met up with her later, it also sets the stage for bigger things going on. It also kind of shows just how far back her… I think the term is suicidal ideation? It gives us an idea of how long she’s had that particular problem.

It’s also interesting that she tries not to say her brother’s name. Hm…

Hmmm… sounds like she might have been separated from her mother’s pokemon? I have a feeling it has something to do with the trainer class licenses.

It’s good to see that the journey has finally started to really take off. Seems like we got a good bit of traveling done today, though there’s still a long way to go. Ooof, these kids can be absolutely horrible to each other at times. Good thing Pixie’s there to help lighten the mood and reminds us of the evils of eevee. I do kind of wonder if there’s more to her grudge than just jealousy. Like perhaps she was replaced by an eevee in the past? Or at least feels like she was. Or perhaps there’s something more…

Regardless, another enjoyable chapter, and I look forward to reading on hopefully soon!
 
Recap 1

Persephone

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her/hers
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cn transphobia/ableism



Recap 1


Genesis

So, um, you already know all of this. You know everything. You’re Xerneas. But I’m also allowed to tell you anything, right, and I thought I should work through some stuff before we head off to Ula’Ula.

I guess this begins with Lyra but I would rather not talk about that. You already know it anyway. Maybe begin with VStar? Sounds good. There was a whole orientation thing and I got to meet a bunch of people and they went over stuff that I sort of remember. Pay is low but I suppose I shouldn’t complain given the circumstances. Later got paired with Cuicatl and Allana.

Should I describe them? I want to a little bit. Like I’m talking to a friend. None of mine are talking with me. They don’t have my new phone number. Maybe they wouldn’t want to talk if they did. Most are Lyra’s friends more than mine… Anyways, Cuicatl’s blind and she had really nice green hair but then she cut it and it’s a little less nice. Her eyes still kind of creep me out but she’s really nice and good with pokémon, like her adorable little holy vulpix.

Allana’s… she was probably pretty. I think she’s changing. I’ve seen her inject herself and I think she’s starting to get a little bit of stubble. I don’t know if it’s reversible. I hope it is. Should I throw out her drugs to protect her? I know I’m not supposed to steal things, but you can’t be okay with what she’s doing. I know how this happened, too. She’s angry and kind of controlling so someone probably convinced her she had to be a guy.

It’s really sad.

Then the journey happened. I’m praying for her. Right now, in fact. May she find peace and guidance back onto the right path.

Paths. Journey. Sir Bubbles and I set out to Akala to make money. Still not sure how much money we’re going to need. Haven’t heard from my parents yet. I pray that they accept my apologies soon. I think my punishment so far has been fair.

Oh, I got to ride a mantine on the way to Akala! It was really, really fun. I felt you there. Thank you for creating mantine. And the oceans. And poliwag.

Right. Sir Bubbles and I got attacked by Team Skull. Some nice bystander stepped in and saved us which is good because brave, brave Sir Bubbles boldly ran away right into danger. He’s not very smart but I love him.

I almost got to capture an eevee. But then an ariados got it. I’m not sure how to feel about that. I know you created ariados and they need to eat but it still felt a little wrong seeing it. That’s not insulting your creation, of course! I just don’t understand it right now. I pray for wisdom on that.

I won a trial! Father’s chess games paid off and I got to skip right to fighting the boss, a giant oranguru. Sir Bubbles put it to sleep and then Inferno managed to damage it enough that it gave up and showed me a Z-crystal. That I can’t use yet. I pray for a Z-Ring.

Wait. Inferno! I forgot Inferno. He’s just the cutest little leafeon. Smells like leaves. Loves cuddles. Doesn’t actually do much. Anyway, her old owner was very mean and abandoned her when she didn’t evolve into a flareon. I hope he believes in you so that he can be forgiven. Otherwise it’s ironic. Going to an inferno for abandoning an Inferno.

Which might not be funny. I’m sorry to remind you of the people you can’t save.

Later on I caught my newest team member, Count Cloudy! She’s just the cutest little castform. The best part is that I don’t have to sleep in a tent that’s getting rained on again. Allana’s mad, though. We could have made a bunch of money if I’d turned him over. Cuicatl says that we have enough for food and we already have a tent and clothes and stuff so I don’t see the problem.

So. Um. Yeah. I don’t know how to end this.

I pray for safety on Ula’Ula and luck in catching pokémon and friendship and maybe healing for Cuicatl and insight for Allana?

May my words and deeds bring honor to thy name.



Kekoa

I know this was for logging transition stuff. But. Don’t want to take pics today. Not much different. Got my period last week. Cuicatl says that my voice is a little deeper, but I think she’s just being nice. I guess I smell different? More pimples.

That’s it.

I’ll write about the journey here.

Met Cuicatl and Jennifer. Jenny’s a haole bitch. I treated Cuicatl like one. She’s cool tho. More later.

Went to Akala. Mantine riding sucks. Jenny seemed to like it. Made her more of a bitch. I fucked up on food and had to eat white sludge shit and gritty eggs and potatoes. Otherwise good gear picks.

I went home. To Paniola. Couldn’t make myself talk to Kanoa. Did meet Jabari. He doesn’t get it. Maybe never will. I was mad. Snapped at Cuicatl. She outed me. Met a cool kanaka man on Route 7. Cuicatl talked with me. We buried the hatchet.

Still not entirely sure I should have. She definitely knew I was trans when she misgendered me. Outed me. But she’s here alone and tried to be nice. I’m trying to forgive her. To move on. Even if she doesn’t deserve it. Oh, also she has her own secret. Rather not say in case the cops read this. Still not sure how I feel about it.

Won a trial.

It was hard. Kanoa beat me at chess. Hekeli took out her pikipek with two hits, no damage. Then totem oranguru. Hekeli hits hard. Maybe too hard. Got me a talk about force early on. Don’t know what the nurse was thinking. Pikipek hit as hard as they want. Anyway. She didn’t hit hard enough. Had to rely on Makani. But! The oranguru used trick room. Makani was super fast and bit the totem until it gave up.

Kanoa and I talked some more. She gave me her number. Doesn’t hate me for leaving. Seemed to pity me. Fuck that. I’ll still text her. She seems happy. Trial captain and everything. I owe her a real match when I’m stronger.

I have two pokémon now. Hekeli is still a pikipek but I think she might evolve soon. “Evolve.” Cross the arbitrary line. We don’t really hang out much. I think she likes fights. Cuicatl says that she needs a reason to stay. I hope fighting works.

Makani the grubbin doesn’t really listen to me. Smart enough to bite at stuff attacking him. Prone to spitting string on my face.

Cuicatl thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

…it kind of is…

Oh. Right. One last thing.

My brother tried to give me a fucking tyrunt egg. Because last time we spoke I was in a dinosaur phase. Thing imprinted on Cuicatl. For the best. It’ll piss Jabari off.

God damn that girl is going to have a keokeo and a tyrantrum.

I should tell Sis about her. Figure out if she can be used. Or how we’ll fight her if she’ll stand against us.



Cuicatl

I don’t know if you can hear me. I hope you can.

Please don’t wait. I told you before but I’m worried you ignored me. Go. Please. I could be a while.

I’m on my own journey. Boring compared to yours. No rivers of blood and jaguars. I’m in Alola now. Tried to go to Unova but couldn’t get the visa. It’s tropical and humid here. There are even mountains. It feels more like home than I’d like.

I have a starter. Her name is Pixie. She’s an ice-type vulpix. Incredibly soft, really prideful, less smart than she thinks she is. Reminds me of Alice, just not strong enough to back her words up. Yet. The people here worship ninetales as ice gods. Someday she’ll be really powerful. Not quite hydreigon level but really what is?

There are aliens here. They attack at least once a month. Really strong trainers are sent to catch or kill them. We went through a forest burned in one of those fights. I don’t know if the trainers “won” or “lost.” There’s a difference between knowing that the world may end in a few years and living in a place where it’s happening now. One of my friends here was in Japan when Quetzlcoatl appeared. I wonder how he feels, seeing the wrath of gods and monsters twice in his short life.

I guess I should tell you more about my friends. Kekoa is the one I was talking about. He has a pikipek and a grubbin that don’t really like him. Maybe he can fix it. He was really rude to me for a while. I hit back. I don’t want to talk about that. He’s accepted me for now. I told him about my gifts. I know I shouldn’t have but it felt right at the time. He really cares about his home. Wants the colonizers gone. Can’t blame him. They ruined Anahuac with a treaty. Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if they’d actually taken over? Kekoa’s angry. Hurt. I understand that. Maybe we can help each other.

Then there’s Genesis. She’s kind of the opposite of Kekoa: really sweet seeming but mean at the core. Kekoa’s trans. Genesis follows the deer cult. She’s been misnaming him in her head. I can’t really say anything about it but that’s going to blow up. I’m taking Kekoa’s side when it does. Maybe she’ll learn. Maybe we’ll kick her out. I’d feel a little bad. I don’t think she wants to be here. There’s just nowhere else to go. Hopefully she’ll hate being alone more than she hates being nice.

I had a little paras for a while. Five of them but I really only talked to one. She was kind. A little dull. Thought that everything she saw was the biggest, coolest thing ever. Pixie didn’t like her. She’s very jealous and I think she would’ve killed the poor paras if I hadn’t gotten rid of her. I wanted to make Pixie leave out of spite. But I need her power more than I needed the paras’s.

Power. Two more things I want to talk about.

I got a tyrunt.

Kekoa’s brother… details don’t matter. Don’t know them anyway. The egg was supposed to be Kekoa’s, but the hatchling imprinted on me. Tyrunt imprint! Like birds! And she has super soft down feathers and, um, needs her food regurgitated. Like a bird! And she’s also a dragon! Sort of. Her language is a little like Upper Draconic. How old is that, anyway? I know it’s for myths and I always knew the gods were old but… that’s very, very old. Were they the same gods? Quetzlcoatl wouldn’t have to change for the dinosaurs. Did the others?

If I was at home I would ask a priest questions until he stopped answering. Maybe you can ask Xolotl for me.

I named the tyrunt Mitzcocotonaz, or Coco for short. She’s very smart for her age. Knows about hunting and what parents are supposed to raise her (although she still thinks either she’s a human or I’m a tyrantrum). Is that normal? Tyrantrum are supposed to have been smart and raised their young for a long time. Why would she need that much instinct? Did the people who made her put it there? Remember how in the book of Jurassic Park the pyroclaptors murdered everyone because they only had instinct, not learning? Maybe the scientists had read book and gave her more instincts.

Why give her the murder instincts, though?

Scientist were probably more concerned with whether or not they could give her murder instincts than if they should. Only explanation.

I also got a Z-Ring. Knocked me out to use it. But the strange thing is that it felt… familiar. Second-hand familiar. From someone else’s memories. Couldn’t have been you. Maybe Mom, but I don’t think she ever used Z-Power. Maybe it’s third-hand. Memories that Mom or Renfield took from someone and then gave to me on accident. But who? Who did she know here? Are they still here? Can I meet them?

I guess you want to know how I’m doing. I’m holding on. Barely. Pixie and Coco help. I miss you. I miss Renfield, Alice, and Searah. I miss Mom even though I never got to meet her.

I can’t get you back. Or Mom. But her pokémon…

I don’t care what I have to do. I’m getting them back.

I swear it on your ashes.
 
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Adamhuarts

Mew specialist
Partners
  1. mew-adam
  2. celebi-shiny
  3. roserade-adam
Just checked out chapter 1.3, and it was a good chapter as always. Ngl, even though we followed the perspective of one character all the way through, I had forgotten her name by the end of it and only knew she was a girl halfway through. That may just be my lack of attention, but then again it could've been made clearer earlier on.

Anyway, the character interactions were really well done, and I like how you mix in real world things with pokemon canon to add an extra level of depth to their world. To your credit, we know all the Nintendo consoles exist in the pokemon world, so them talking about Mario Kart doesn't feel far fetched and actually makes a ton of sense.

Pixie may have lost that battle earlier, but she won the war. Pixie never really loses, she had to sleep in order to spare Sir Bubbles, who she'd have sent to the frozen realm of Hel otherwise.

Pretty good chapter. Enjoyed reading it very much. Looking forward to more.
 
Electric 2.1

Persephone

Infinite Screms
Pronouns
her/hers
Partners
  1. mawile
  2. vulpix-alola
Mission Two: Electric​

It is the triumph of civilization that at last communities have obtained such a mastery over natural laws that they drive and control them. The winds, the water, electricity, all aliens that in their wild form were dangerous, are now controlled by human will, and are made useful servants.
-Henry Ward Beecher


Electric 2.1: Six
Pixie

11/16/2019 | [-33:03:17]​

You jump into Skysong’s lap as she sits down in front of Matriarch. You can feel the pink eevee’s eyes boring into you but if you get into a fight now your trainer will be mad. So you won’t. Because you’re a very well-behaved fox. You still turn around and stick your tongue out at it before settling down. Let him be jealous of your perch. He isn’t cuddling anyone.

“How was Akala?” Matriarch asks.

“Good. I won a trial.” She scratches your ear and you press your head into her paw with pride. “Got a new pokémon.” You abruptly slink back down and suppress a hiss. “We caught the pokémon we were supposed to.” She sounds a little angry. Why? You helped her find prey. Well, not her prey. Humans sometimes trade their prey with other humans for reasons that you still don’t understand.

Matriarch makes a low throat noise that humans sometimes use to respond to things without speaking. “And how are you holding up?”

“Fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Skysong’s heart rate is up and you can smell her stress responses start kicking in. Will you get to fight the eevee? Sure, the green eevee cheated so you narrowly lost but you can definitely take this one and show Skysong that you’re much, much better.

“If you say so,” Matriarch concedes. “By the way I don’t think you ever told me why you’re going on a journey.”

“Money.”

Matriarch leans back and her voice shifts to something a touch quieter and softer. “And what’s the money for?”

There’s a pause of several shallow breaths as Skysong’s face scrunches up and her paws clench.

“Some of my Mom’s stuff.”

“Okay.” Matriarch sighs and you can feel her body shift. “If you want to tell me more you can.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Well, if you want help finding things I do have friends in Unova.” Pause. “And the Anahuac pokémon markets.”

Your trainer’s breath catches in her throat and you seize up, ready to blast out ice shards at the smug ugly fox in the corner. Skysong finally lowers her head and exhales.

“If a hydreigon gets sold in Anahuac, can you let me know?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Skysong’s heart rate starts to slow a little. No eevee fight. What a shame.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Matriarch offers again.

“No.”

“Okay.”

Someone drums a paw on the wood above you. Not entirely sure who.

“I’m going to need a Class V license.”

“Maybe,” Matriarch says.

“Tyrunt require—”

“Most pokémon grandfather into the license requirement you obtained them at. The exceptions are mostly just pokémon that don’t recognize their old trainers. I’ll see what I can do about getting the reqs changed, but in the meantime I’m trying to find you a mentor for your IV. Just in case.” More drumming. “You have an idea for your V paper?”

“A draconic dictionary.”

“That’s what I would recommend.”

The rest is boring. The eevee never attacks you and you never get an excuse to attack it.

It will live for now.

[-32:18:15]​

Pale red light rushes all around you before fading, leaving you intact.

Mission accomplished.

“What was that?” Growlsleeper grumbles on the other end of the room.

“Pix and Coco were going at it again.” Skysong sounds tired. Not just because it is night and she is diurnal; you woke her from her sleep because Eggbreath was pressing against you and soiling your precious fur. Skysong gently presses you off and slowly gets to her feet before finding her hooves and stick. “I’ll take her out for a minute.”

Yes! Eggbreath is gone and you get to go outside!

You move a few steps ahead of her and make sure to have very loud steps so that she can follow you because you are a very good guide fox. Eventually you step out into the—it’s raining. Oh no. Thankfully there is a climbing structure under an overhang that you can lead Skysong to so she can sit down and pet you and only you for maybe the rest of the night.

She sits down. You jump on her lap. The headscritches are very half-hearted. Disappointing. You press your head into her hand so that she knows to do better.

“You know,” she says while not petting you harder, “She’s going to be forty times bigger than you someday.”

It takes you a second to convert from her terrible numbers into the correct ones. Forty is forty-four. A good, symmetrical number. “And I’ll be forty-four times stronger.” Or you could just kill her before she gets too much bigger than you. That’s always an option.

Skysong shakes her head. “You’ve seen the movies, right? You know what tyrantrum, sharpteeth, whatever, can do?”

“Fail to kill baby pokémon and then fall into a lake and die?”

That does earn a muted giggle and an ear scratch. “Or kill off a clan of pyroclaptors. Fire-types. She’s good against fire-types.”

“Fire melts ice into water. Fire-types hate water.” How does she keep forgetting that?

“How about the sun? She loves heat and light. You don’t. She can guide me in hot cities.”

On one level you want to object. Badly. Your trainer spends more time in the warm than the cool and this is a chance for Eggbreath to persuade her to leave you. But being offered a reprieve from your worst duties is good. And someday you’ll be cold enough that the heat won’t bother you. You concede with a huff. Eggbreath can die after you evolve and command the blizzards.

Skysong switches to giving you long strokes from your head to the tips of your tails. This is also good petting. You purr so that she knows to do this more often. For a long time she continues. The sounds of the wind and rain are a little like those of snowstorms raging above your den.

It ends right as you’re about to fall asleep. You’re too calm to complain until Skysong picks you up into her arms and stands up. “Please be nice to your sister,” she whispers.

No.

You hiss and squirm out of her arms and start growling the moment you hit the ground.

“No. Not my sister. My sisters are on The Mountain.”

“Oh,” her face falters and her scent shifts. “I didn’t know you had family.”

She says it like she’s sad that you do. Why wouldn’t you? You had to come from somewhere.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She crouches down and offers more scritches with her hand. You don’t take the bait.

“No.” Of course you don’t want to talk about them. Especially the living one.

The one that Avalanche thought was better than you.

[-27:07:41]​

You reappear next to Eggbreath on a long metal strip jutting out into the water. Your trainer immediately bends down and starts putting your harness on. Eggbreath is already in the very short leash that Skysong uses because even she doesn’t trust the demon bird. Once you’re buckled in Skysong gently picks you up and turns you around to look at—

Oh.

The Mountain is right there, looming on the horizon. A pillar of white in a landscape of red rocks and blue skies. “Are we going there?”

“No. This is as close as we’ll get.” She silently strokes your head. “Do you want to?”

Do you? Someday, yes. When you can go back and beat up a whole pack of redcrests and drag the corpses to Avalanche so she knows that she chose wrong. When you’re sure she’ll lick your head and send one of your siblings down in your place, that’s when you’ll return.

Now… you know you can’t face The Mountain and win. Not after it killed so many of your siblings.

“No. Not yet.”

Eggbreath starts wandering off while Skysong’s holding you in one arm and petting you with the other. You shriek alarm to let your trainer know that there is misbehavior afoot. “Thanks,” she mutters in a not-properly-thankful tone. She sets you down somewhat roughly into a patch of sand and calls Eggbreath over. The beast comes running back and nudges her head against Skysong’s leg.

Skysong ruffles her headfeathers before picking up the leash.

The nerve she has.

[-27:06:00]​

“Behave yourselves” is what Skysong said before curling up and falling asleep on the sand.

Eggbreath is not behaving herself. She’s harassed an armored beach spider into its hole and is trying to dig down after it. You’ll let her. When Skysong wakes up you’ll have a long list of the demon’s misbehavior ready to go. She’ll be horrified and immediately send Eggbreath away and then you’ll have time to get any new team members kicked out before she can decide to leave you for them.

There’s a pained cry and shaking sounds. You look over to see the beach spider pinched onto Eggbreath’s nose as she slams her head into a rock to get it off. Your ears perk up. Maybe Eggbreath will get herself killed. Or at least get hurt so badly that Skysong realizes that she’s way too weak to stand alongside you.

The spider lets go and Eggbreath scurries off to find something else to murder.

Your gaze falls upon the green eevee and you reflexively growl. He’s just lying there on your beach. Menacingly. Like he owns it. Like he’s better than you. He isn’t! Eevee are beneath you and Hummy and Rocktosser were wrong to think otherwise. They probably failed their quest because they pushed you away and kept some pathetic little stupid weakling in your place. Maybe they died because the little asshole they kept couldn’t save them from a monster.

Serves them right.

No. You can’t allow the eevee to take naps so close to Skysong. He’s a threat to you and your trainer. You slowly rise up and creep closer to the abomination. Your paws are built for walking silently on snow and sand is close enough. His chest rises and falls as he menacingly breathes in his sleep.

You take a deep breath and unleash the most perfect of slushballs. A perfect hit to the face. The monster’s ears stick straight up and he starts shaking to get it off of him. He turns and you see one eye covered in snow as the other narrows into a glare. The eevee steps forward and the earth falls away as you fly through the air. You skid to a halt as sand blasts into your fur. The eevee—how did it move so fast?—steps over your belly and lies down on top of you. Then his head dips and his eyes close again.

No! You flex all of your muscles and squirm madly to escape. He’s not much bigger than you, this shouldn’t be hard! If only you weren’t on your back. Then you could just press off the ground. And breathe normally without a fat eevee crushing your lungs. After a few glorious minutes of struggle you come to accept that the eevee has cheated too well. You will need to summon help.

You scream.

Just when you think that your mighty roar might go unanswered something rushes into your peripheral vision and slams into the eevee. As the smelly stupid fox gets knocked off you roll over and bare your fangs to meet it. You glance to the side and see—Eggbreath. Huh. The bird holds her mouth wide open and swishes her tail back and forth.

“What’s going on?” Skysong asks.

“The eevee attacked me!”

“Playtime!” Eggbreath says while slapping her tail into the ground.

“Is anyone hurt?”

“No!” Your traitorous ‘sister’ replies.

“Cool.”

Skysong rolls over and puts her head back down on the sand.

Eggbreath growls and lowers herself into a pouncing position. The eevee just stares before turning to look at something on the beach. It’s a small bird. Not even a pokémon. Eevee’s glance is enough to get Eggbreath to notice and she runs off to harass it. Leaving you alone. Which is fine. You can still defend your honor and protect your trainer from the deceptive fox in front of you.

The monstrous plant sits down on his haunches. “Why do you care so much?”

You hiss in response.

“If I did anything to you…”

“You’re trying to steal Skysong!”

He blinks and swishes his leaf from side to side.

“Who?”

You stamp a paw. How dare he play dumb!

“My trainer!”

Slow blink. Leaf swish.

“Why would I want to?”

Because she’s your trainer and you’re the best and that means that she’s the best trainer! Your thoughts come out more as a irritated screech than proper language. He sits down and tucks his legs under him.

“Why would I steal her when I could just join your team?”

“She already has two! One would have to leave.” Obviously. He’s just toying with you now. As he keeps staring at you with his big stupid eyes you start readying another attack.

“You know humans can have six pokémon, right?”

Lies! Terrible lies! He’s trying to get you to let your guard down so he can sneak onto the team and convince Skysong to make you leave. Just like every other eevee. You’re smarter now than you were in the past. You’ll stop him. Kill him if you must.

Eggbreath leaps over and kicks up sand on impact. She immediately dips low to the ground and softly growls while the tip of her tail carves an arc in the sand.

“Play!”

[-26:16:03]​

Skysong grabs her stick and you follow close behind. Eggbreath stirs as if she wants to follow before giving up and settling back into the blankets. Ugly diurnal baby bird. So much better than her. You help without being asked.

Where is she going, anyway? There’s a scent marking station inside of the room.

Outside. She’s going outside and sitting down on a bench. You hop up as she sits down.

“Why are you harassing Inferno?”

Oh. Now you get to tell her everything that the eevee has done.

“He attacked me while I was trying to sleep and then he said mean things and tried to make me stop breathing and she also attacked Eggbreath and she’s going to hurt you someday.”

She presses your ear down before withdrawing her paws. Skysong sighs and folds her arms.

“Pixie, I don’t like it when you try to hurt my other pokémon. Or Kekoa’s. Or Genesis’s.”

“You should. They’re lying to you. Trying to steal you.”

It’s simple, really. How can she not get it? She picked you. That means she’s smart.

“Pix, I’ve told you this before.” She sounds irritated. At the eevee? Good! Skysong is finally getting it. “If you want to stay on the team, then I won’t kick you off. Promise.”

Lies. The others all made promises. They all left you behind in the end.

“Did you get left right after you got jealous and attacked other pokémon?”

You hiss. She may your trainer but she has no right to say those things. “I am not jealous of eevee. I am much better.”

Skysong gives you a thorough headscratching in apology. “Maybe your people left you because you got scared they’d leave you so you started acting out. Made them leave behind ‘mons they cared about. Cost them sleep. They got fed up. Decided you weren’t worth it.” She’s wrong. It’s not so simple. Besides, you tried being nice on The Mountain. Look where that got you. Her hand presses down and gives you a few gentle strokes down your back. “I won’t leave you,” she lies. “Unless you want to be left. You don’t have to fight to stay. Promise.”

There is a way that the promise can hold. “No more pokémon.”

“Why?” She asks like an idiot.

“Won’t have to leave anyone unless there’s a third.”

Her hand pauses in the middle of your back and gently presses down. “But I can have six?” No. That’s not possible. Two. Avalanche kept two. Hummy and Rocktosser and Lightstare and Lowgrowl all kept two. “Genesis already has three, y’know? She’s not leaving any of them.”

That’s a—the green eevee, the spiralfrog, and the shapeshifter. Three. She has three and none of them are trying to kill each other. That’s. No. That. They all had to leave you. Had to. Thought you were worse than eevee. If they could keep you then. Then. You were worse than nothing.

You are worse than nothing.

Skysong flips you onto your back and presses you into her chest. You barely notice. If she’s lying than she’ll leave you. If she’s not then she’ll hate you someday because. Because everyone else has. Why does she pretend to care? What is she planning? She drops you back onto her lap and leans back. Her pets grow slower. It doesn’t matter. You have things to think about.

When you finally look back up she’s asleep and the sun is awake.
 
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Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
Her hand pauses in the middle of your back and gently presses down. “But I can have six?” No. That’s not possible. Two. Avalanche kept two. Hummy and Rocktosser and Lightstare and Lowgrowl all kept two. It’s a law of nature. Nine is the best number. Three is the worst. If there can’t be nine, there must be two. “Genesis already has three, y’know? She’s not leaving any of them.”

That’s a—the green eevee, spiralfrog, and the shapeshifter. Three. She has three and none of them are trying to kill each other. That’s. No. That. They all had to leave you. Had to. Thought you were worse than eevee. If they could keep you then. Then. You were worse than nothing.
I think we just watched Pixie’s entire worldview come crashing down on her.

(Incidentally, I think I may have missed it, but did Avalanche abandon Pixie because they specifically didn’t think they could provide for three kits in their situation, or do Ninetales in general only keep the two strongest kits? I’m assuming the former, and that Pixie’s insistence on the latter is just a defense mechanism.)
 
Electric 2.2

Persephone

Infinite Screms
Pronouns
her/hers
Partners
  1. mawile
  2. vulpix-alola
Electric 2.2: Worlds That Never Were
Cuicatl

24/3/2010

A low hum of disapproval fills your mind.

{You’re hurt.}

“Yeah, I know.” You scout for your favorite spot with your feet and then sit down. “Thanks for telling me.”

{I warned you about overusing your powers.}

“You did.”

Why does Renfield care? He doesn’t have to deal with your headaches.

{Ah, but I care about you. If you’re hurt, I’m upset.}

“Why care?” you grumble. “Mom’s been dead for years. You could’ve left.”

When Renfield laughs it sounds like bubbles floating to the surface in your mind. Somehow. Maybe he can teach you. {When Danielle found me I was a mere solosis. I cared for nothing. Did nothing. Just sat still in the sunlight and attacked anything that came near. She raised me. Taught me strategy, empathy, history, literature, and music.}

“You can sing?”

More mind bubbles. {Well, she taught me how to appreciate music. She used to sing a lot.} Like you.

“Did she name me for that?” Cuicatl means song. Ichtaca Secret song. Or song of secrets.

Something swishes from side to side at your mind’s edge. No. {As I understand it your father named you. She would have picked… I suppose it doesn’t much matter.}

Right after she died dad went against mom’s wishes? Why? Did they each name one child? More swishing. {No. They could never agree on a name, or even what language the name should be in. I suspect that Danielle would have given names at birth and refused to accept others. As it were… the chance did not present itself.}

You pick up a pebble and roll it in your fingers. It helps you think. “They fought?”

{On occasion, yes.}

Your finger slips and the pebble falls. “Over what?” You reach down. Can’t find the exact pebble. Pick up another one. Coins are better but you aren’t allowed to have them unless you’re going to the store.

{They both loved you, even before you were born. They wanted the best for you but disagreed on what that entailed.}

There’s hesitation in his voice. Half-truths. You want to press him, but he knows what you’re thinking and since he’s not saying more he probably won’t if you challenged him aloud.

“What was my name supposed to be?”

{Child, you have nothing to gain by mourning worlds that never were.}

Mourning worlds that—now he’s just not making sense. On purpose. “Don’t care about worlds. Just want to know what my name was.” You wouldn’t actually use it. Dad would be mad. And your classmates already think you’re the enemy’s child.

Searah saves him with an excited squeal and the plodding of clawed feet. You smile and wave to her. The name can wait. She hugs you by gently placing her front claws onto your shoulders and pressing her warm, fuzzy body against your chest. She’s pretty heavy for her size and you need to press your hands back behind you to stay sitting up. Easier to hug her when you’re lying down.

“Hello, girl.” She backs away and sits down right in front of you before pressing her snout into you and sniffing all over. It’s weird. Freaked you out the first time. Now you think it’s cute. Her tongue flicks out and curls around your neck. “Okay, that’s enough.” You roll your eyes at the heatmor’s angry huff and stick your legs out so she can lie on them. She does.

Her fur is very warm. It’s nice for a cool, cloudy day in the mountains. The moment is simple, perfect. Still just a moment. It must end. Laundry and cooking left to do.

Searah protests as you try to move your legs out from under her. “Noooooooooooo.”

“Sorry, I have work to do.”

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. More cuddles later?} You stroke her back as you slowly get to your feet. Legs aren’t asleep. If you’d stayed any longer they would’ve been.

“Of course. Cuddles later.” Wait. Is Renfield still here?

{Yes,} he thinks / says.

“You can move things with your mind, right?”

{Yes.}

“Then you’re helping me with laundry.”

{Can I come, too?!} Searah asks.

The thought of long claws cutting through cloth crosses your mind. “Not now. I’ll warm up some water later. You can light the fire for that. Or be the fire.”

{Fire!}

“Yes, fire. You’re very good at fire.”

A surge of pride flows into your mind as the heatmor stands up on her hind legs to hug you goodbye. You return it and your sister wanders off to find more bugs to eat.

[-23:03:00]​

You have a plan for surviving this mountain.

First, keep track of your footsteps with a marching cadence. Second, match your breathing to it. Third, keep powering on whenever you trip. Fourth, think of nothing else but your breath and the cadence.

It’s not working very well but you’re still not willing to call it a bad plan. Judging by the sound of Kekoa and Genesis’s breathing they’re doing even worse.

“Break,” Genesis cries out between steps. You hear her lumber off the trail moments before her pack crashes into the ground. You’re happy to pull aside and gulp down water with her.

None of you understood how bad Route 12 was going to be. No shade, constant sunlight, and even the earth itself burns. You’re slowly being baked alive and the paths are all uphill and full of loose rocks. Pixie would help but you can’t keep her out in the heat and Coco… well, she’s still a hatchling. Dragon or not she tires quickly.

The last water bottle gets stowed away. Yet no one asks to end the break. “Maybe we could hike at night,” you suggest. “Less heat.”

“Too dark,” Genesis answers. You attempt to make eye contact, lids as far open as you can get them. “And, um, predators,” she quickly adds.

“I’d rather be awake when the houndoom come,” you reply in the best deadpan you can manage.

She shuts up and Kekoa softly laughs. It reminds you of every other conversation you’ve killed for being too dark, of everyone in town who feared the dragon girl too much to reach out. One day you were the stupid blind girl who kept getting held back or the child of the northern enemy. Then one day you were the baby sister of a hydreigon and everyone else stayed far away and hoped you forgot about everything that came before. Even the new kid who came to town was taught by your classmates to stay far away.

Kekoa breaks the silence. “Not at night. We’d be tired, make mistakes. Early mornings are fine.”

Funny. Right now you’re so tired that you could collapse right now and sleep in the warm sunlight. Maybe never get up.

That means you need to go. Now. Before you actually do stop moving and set up camp away from water.

“Ready to go?” you ask, even though you aren’t ready yourself.

Genesis groans but responds with a “Ready.” Kekoa lifts up his pack and takes a few steps onto the path before saying as much himself.

Breathing. Cadence. Breathing. Cadence. On and on and on.

[-22:18:25]​

Kekoa and Genesis are setting up the tent and suspending the food bag. You’re sitting on what Kekoa insists is the least uncomfortable rock in the campsite running one hand through Coco’s feathers and the other through Pixie’s fur. This isn’t a bad place, all things considered. A stream runs nearby so there’s a small forest with some shade. Sure, it’ll draw predators and prey closer to camp, but most will leave the humans alone. Even the dragons have learned that humans are weak alone but will come back in bigger numbers and with stronger allies. Inferno will probably scare off the stupid and desperate. Not that you’d ever say that aloud with Pixie in earshot.

You’re going to cook today. Or at least warm some stuff up on a tiny stove. Anyone could do it. You certainly don’t want to. Not when your legs are dead and your arms also hurt for some reason. You will. The others are doing their chores. You won’t be deadweight. Not while you’re living out your dreams.

Footsteps approach and someone sits down beside you. Coco, traitor that she is, jumps off your lap and demands pets from her dad. Pixie immediately flicks her tails out to cover the space Coco was sitting.

“You okay?” Kekoa asks. You process the words and belatedly nod. “You don’t look okay.”

Rude.

At least he shuts up before he overstays his welcome.

For a while.

"Can't believe we're doing all this for some rich mainlanders." You tilt your head and angle it in his direction. "Some videos went viral of a pet dedenne. Now all the influencers and wine moms want one."

"Oh." It makes sense. Honestly you thought that people would just use them as generators or something.

You hear Genesis crash down some distance away. "When's dinner?"

Rude.

You stretch out and revel in the pain of a thousand aches. "Can you get me the stove and food?"

[-22:18:17]​

Vegetables and rice are easy enough to warm up. What’s harder is hearing Genesis scrape her bowl clean while you and Kekoa wait for the meat. Even with Pixie’s cooler you still wouldn’t have brought any if Coco didn’t need it. Big health risk. You don’t want to get diarrhea in a place where you have to dig your own toilets. And Coco makes you chew and spit. It’s too close to something else. Having a Z-Ring that can make you puke doesn’t help with that.

You still do it for her. Coco breaks away from her father and thumps her tail on the ground to tell you that she’s present and wants her meal. It’s cute. Even if the rest is gross and makes you feel even grosser.

Pixie flicks a tail against your ankle to tell you that she is also present and would like food. Jealous little shit. You give her about half of your portion of meat. She keeps it cool so it’s her right. Besides, the vegetables are good.

Dinner’s quiet. As usual. Everyone’s tired and hungry.

You wouldn’t mind going to sleep soon. Especially if you’re going to get up early tomorrow.

But you should train.

It’s pretty hot still. Not fair to make Pix exercise.

Yeah. You’ll get some sleep before the tent gets crowded.

[-22:13:38]​

You have to pee but there’s something outside. Somethings. Not talking. Just knocking pebbles around. Making quiet steps. One brushed by the tent a while back. Maybe you should wake Pix up. Maybe you shouldn’t. She would growl. It would either scare away whatever’s outside or start a fight you might not win.

A pokémon makes a soft grunt. Another agrees. Neither gets translated. Dark types? Or was there just no meaning in the sounds? There’s the soft trickling of water—scent marking over Pixie and Inferno, probably—and then the pokémon head out. Manectric? Houndoom? You wait another five, ten, maybe thirty minutes and hear nothing more. Gods you have to pee. Is it safe to go out? You want to wake up Genesis to have Inferno with you. She’s on the opposite side of the tent so that would wake up Kekoa. He’d give you shit.

You slowly start to lift yourself up, earning a soft yip from Pixie as you do so. There’s rustling next to you and you freeze up. Another shift. “You goin’ ow?” Kekoa drearily groans. Genesis starts moving as well.

“Yeah. Can Inferno come with?” The grass-type makes his distinctive leaf swish noise. Yes. You unzip the tent, awkwardly feel for your shoes, and step out into the surprisingly cool air with Coco and two foxes at your heels. After zipping the tent back up you reach for Pix and bring one of her tails to your leg. “Bring me to a rock.”

She starts walking off. Coco bounds away but you’re too focused on peeing to scold her. She barks and starts running towards you, tail dragging behind her and stirring up the gravel.

{New scent!} she says. {Like Sister. And fire!}

Houndoom, then. Inferno won’t do much good if they come back.

Pix flicks your leg. You’re far enough away from the tent and at a good enough place to pee on the rocks. Dry area. Pokémon look for the salt and moisture. If you peed on a plant it might get ripped up. Inferno would be sad. More sad, anyway. Still not sure what his deal is. If you ask you might get close and accidentally take him away from Genesis. It would be unfair.

A small rock falls a few meters away. All three pokémon abruptly stop and look towards it.

{Floating rock.} Pixie says.

“Arms?” you whisper.

{Two.}

Oh. Could be worse. You start walking back to the tent and your pokémon reluctantly follow.

Genesis passes by on the way out. For a moment you consider telling her about the houndoom. You don’t. They’re gone now and she would get scared and freak out and then you would be on edge the whole night for no reason.

Plus, if they did come back and decided to attack, well, there’s probably nothing to be done.

[-22:09:14]​

A bead of sweat hits the bridge of your nose. The cadence and rough breaths continue. One hits your shoulder. Not sweat. Rain. Just a sprinkle. A fat drop hits the top of your head. Another on the shoulder again. Another on—your knee, your back, back again, thigh—they blend together too much to keep track. Thunder. Loud, fast, sharp. Close. Another bolt just a little bit further away. Electric types. Electric types everywhere. You’re on a barren mountain ridge with electric types everywhere. And for once in your life, you’re the tallest thing around.

“There’s a valley to the side,” Kekoa says. “We need to get down.”

He’s right. But. “How steep?”

“Not too bad.”

“I… don’t want to trip and hurt my ankle again.”

“Yeah, well, you want to get electrocuted?”

Genesis slides down—roughly. If she’s struggling while sighted and with long legs—another bolt. Frighteningly close. The roar almost deafens your right ear. The hair on your arms rises up and you run to the side. As if you could dodge lightning. You feel it when your feet hit the incline and you start to slide down on a wave of pebbles. Bend down like your surfing on rocks. Keep going—

The next strike is so close that for a second you can hear nothing but faint ringing.

If you’re fucking deaf on top of everything—the slide breaks as you reflexively twitch and you fall flat on your face. Again. For the second time in two weeks. Don’t care. The rain intensifies and you’re drenched and cold and there are scrapes on your face and you still can’t hear much at all. No. You can hear the thunder again.

Cold comfort.

Maybe someone says something. Maybe they don’t. For a long time you lie face-down as water streams down all around you and thunder continues to rock the mountain. When it finally stops it’s just as fast as it came. A minute later you can count the drops again. Soon there are none at all.

Sharp stone edges meet your hands when you press yourself upright. It’s fine. You’ve faced worse. Just a quick pivot and a small shift to be facing uphill. “Are you alright?” Genesis asks. Voice full of concern.

“Yeah.” Sort of. You’re stronger than you look. Sometimes. Are you? Yes. Not doing this now. “How bad is the climb?”

Gravel shifts as heavy footsteps bound upwards like a capricurl walking on a cliff face. Kekoa probably. He confirms it a moment later. “Climb sucks. Jennifer and I can help you up.”

More footsteps. Far more slips. Genesis finally makes it up with no serious falls but much less grace than Kekoa. You pull the straps on your pack tighter and prepare to climb.

Kekoa does his best to guide you up the slope.

“Root to your right.”

“That patch looks loose. Half-step—shit, are you alright?”

You bite back a curse and steady yourself. The patch was loose and your left foot slipped at a bad angle. It pulses in pain within your boots. Bad, but not quite as bad as in the forest.

“How much left to go?” you demand.

The words are more aggressive in the air than they were in your mind.

“Uh, Jenny, can you see if you can reach her?”

She can. She does. The rest doesn’t hurt too badly. Soon you’re on mostly flat ground.

“’m fine.” Mostly. Fine enough to walk. “Thanks for the help.”

“You sure?” Kekoa’s makes it sound closer to: ‘You aren’t.’ “Looked bad. And that’s the ankle you hurt on Akala, right?”

“Yes. I’m fine. I can walk.”

You aren’t a burden whatever anyone says. The wilderness has always been your home. If you can hold your own anywhere it’s here.

“We can stop at the next campsite. Don’t have to go all the way to ours.”

Can’t he take a hint? You’re fine.

“Whatever,” you respond. “Ready to hike?”

Genesis grunts and Kekoa speaks: “Hike on.”

Cadence and breath. Right foot. Left—right foot. Long, quick strides and gentle steps. It’s fine. You’re fine. You’ve powered through far worse. The humidity is worse. Hot, sticky air that hangs on your skin like a wet blanket you can’t take off. That’s worse. It’s fine. You’re fine. You’re fine. You’re fine.

Kekoa’s footsteps stop and you try to stop. No. You take a step forward and rest on your right foot. Much better.

“I’m calling it here for the day.”

Idiot. “People will notice if we’re late.”

“We’ll be even later if you can’t walk ‘cause you hiked six miles on a bad foot to look tough.”

You want to fight. Insist that you can keep up. Aren’t the weak link. But he’s right. You are. Useless. Might as well admit it.

[-22:08:32]​

“It’s not too swollen,” Kekoa says. “Just keep an ice pack on it.”

“We don’t have—" Pixie. Right.

You reach into your pack and release your pokémon. Coco roars at the air and thumps her tail in case you sent her into a fight. Pixie just swishes a tail against your leg to tell you she’s there. You reach back into the pack and pull out a rubber ball. Once Coco starts growling you toss it off for her to try and murder. Who knows how long it’ll last once she gets real teeth but it’s a nice distraction for now.

“Cool. Call me over if you need anything.”

Kekoa trudges away and you gently pick Pixie up and move her next to your ankle. With another quick movement you drape one of her tails over it. “Can you keep a tail there?”

She grunts and settles down. No complaints about the heat or Coco. Nothing to say at all. You messed up and pressed her too hard too fast. Broke her. As usual. Ankles, brothers, starters, selves. You’re a master at breaking things and a failure at fixing them.

Coco’s small but energetic footsteps come back and the ball drops with a ‘thud’ to the earth. You reach a hand out and hold it right over where you think the ball is. You shoot a finger down in a quick, teasing jab. Oh, this? This old thing? You want me to throw it, huh? Suddenly Coco leaps forward, bats your hand aside, and snatches the ball up in her jaws before running away. Odd. Usually, she just gets excited when you do that. For the best. Ball was coated in spit. Didn’t really want to touch it.

A cramp hits you right in the groin. You wince and awkwardly adjust your good leg in response. The trail hasn’t been good for you. Started eating too much. Period came back. You’d cut back but when you don’t eat and hike too much the world starts rocking and you start making dumb mistakes.

“Mother! Why are—" You silence her with headscritches. “I’m fine, Coco. Just laying an egg.”

She drops down to the ground. “New sister?” …you walked right into that one.

“No. Just an egg. Won’t hatch.”

She doesn’t get up but her tail starts swishing in the dirt. Doesn’t matter. She’ll get bored soon.

“Hey, Genesis!”

It takes her a second before she trots over. And finally answers. Like she couldn’t just call back from across the clearing like a normal person. “What?”

“Can you get me a tampon?”

“I, um, uh, yeah. Sure.”

Why is she embarrassed? She probably gets them most months, too. And she knows that Kekoa’s trans so there aren’t even any biological men here to get grossed out for no reason. Is she actually embarrassed or did you just catch her at a bad time? Ugh. Wish you could see blushes.

Genesis drops the tampon and some new underwear in your lap rather than just handing them to you. “Thanks.” Maybe you could lie down just a little bit longer? No. You like these shorts. Better take care of it now.

*​

“Hey, uh, this is our campsite?” Some kid announces his arrival while you’re still getting changed under the rain fly. Coco reacts to the new voices by slipping under the fly and running out doing her best impression of Pixie’s barks. The fox herself just sighs. {You can talk to me about anything,} you tell her for the third or thirteenth or thirtieth time.

“Sorry! One of us got hurt in the storm so we stopped early,” Genesis says.

“They okay?” Another kid. Female? Or maybe just very young. Or both.

“Just tripped. I’m fine!” you announce as you leave the tent. It’s not the best line for making an entrance but it works. “I think there’s still room for two groups.” Going by clearing echoes, anyway. Most sites seem big enough. It’s a good guess. Satisfied that her mother can deal with the problem, Coco stops barking and runs back to you for praise. You bend down to give her scratches. Pixie butts in a second later for her share. You make sure to give her extra.

Sometimes you swear that you can hear staring. Only question is if they’re staring at you, Coco, or Kekoa. “You blind?” You, then.

“Yes.”

You’re blind and you hurt yourself (again) and he’ll tie the one to the other and he won’t be entirely wrong. Genesis didn’t trip. Neither did Kekoa.

“Cool. Ice-type trainer?”

What? Sure, you have Pix. But Coco’s. Oh.

“No. She’s not an ice-type. Just has white feathers.”

“We haven’t introduced ourselves, have we?” Genesis interjects. “I’m Genesis, she’s Cuicatl,” she says with mostly correct pronunciation, “and… that’s…”

By the suns. She set herself up. Kekoa’s either too far away or too uninterested or too cruel to finish so for a few seconds it just hangs in the air. “I’m Kekoa.”

He had to have noticed, right? Will he say anything? You’d been hoping to push back the Genesis-Kekoa fight until Pix had returned to something close to normal. Gods. Not here. Not with kids watching.

“Cool. You want to battle?” one asks. “I’m Ty. I am an ice-trainer and I want to fight your vulpix.”

Kekoa sighs. “I’ll ref.”

*​

Pixie starts to growl. Eevee. Glaceon. You’re fighting a glaceon. Time to stall and put together a plan.

“How far are you in the challenge, Ty?”

“Two grand trials. Beat Sophocles and heading on to the next. You?”

If you ever had hopes of winning a slugfest they’re gone now. “One trial.”

Ice shard’s as good as useless. Left with three utility moves. Roar, baby-doll eyes, confuse ray. Stalemate? Good for a friendly match on the trail. “Did you grow up near Lanakila, then? That how you got the vulpix?” He seems interested. You can stall. Maybe even get in some baby-doll eyes before the match starts. No. That affects humans, too. He’d notice.

“I’m from Anahuac. I adopted her in Hau’oli.”

Kekoa clears his throat. “I lived near Tapu Village for a bit. Bunch of ice-types there even without climbing.”

Pix has probably readied her opening moves. Time to get the show started. You stretch your mouth into a big, maybe fake-looking smile and clap your hands. “Great! You two can talk about it in a minute. Ty, I accept your challenge!”

Your heart pounds in your chest despite the low stakes. You can win this. Show Pix that she’s better than an ice-type eevee. Or no worse than one. Maybe make her happy.

“Alright. One on one. Don’t hurt each other too badly. Potions ain’t cheap.”

“Snowflake, go for an ice beam!” Snowflake. Oh no. Did he get it as a glaceon? Or was he setting up an Inferno situation? Doesn’t matter. You snap your fingers and think your command as cold air rushes past your feet. Shit. Big hit. Is Pix—

She growls and the cold air stops coming. The confuse ray landed. It givese you a moment to think. You could try baby-doll eyes. But if Snowflake knows ice beam, if that’s its go-to move, then maybe it wouldn’t do much. Two snaps. {Roar into ice shard.}

Most roars are wordless as far as your gift is concerned. This one isn’t. There’s a lot of meaning in the scream. Most of it profane. All of it angry. You can practically feel Pixie baring her teeth and venting days, no, years, of rage at one frozen fox. No, not ‘practically’ feel it, you can feel all that. Connection is too wide. You close your eyes and draw your mind in. The link becomes quieter.

“Come on,” your opponent calls. “Substitute!”

Baby-doll eyes are useless. Confuse ray… you’ll need to break the sub first. {Don’t need to lose your voice. Now,} “Ice shard!”

The scream becomes a hiss as the cold air whips back up. Another surge of cold joins it and Pixie rolls through the gravel. To the side. Not towards you. A dodge. {Keep it up until the fake is gone, then confuse ray.}

You don’t know what happens. Pixie keeps hammering away while cold air rushes to your side of the field. Feels stronger than any of Pixie’s attacks. And through your connection you feel her get weaker and weaker.

“Calling it now,” Kekoa says. “Ty wins.”

Pixie growls in pain / anger but doesn’t keep attacking. You can hear Ty walk over.

“Good play, there. Ordering confuse ray without a word.” If you had given a word he would have just shouted ‘Close your eyes!’ or something else simple and effective.

“Thank you.” You hear Pixie sulk off with dramatically loud steps. Should you praise his glaceon? You should. But Pix is here. How to word this…

In the end, Kekoa saves you. “You wanted to talk about the Mauna, right?”

“Yes! So, like, when you say there are a bunch of ice-types at the base, what are you counting as ‘the base?’” Their voices start drifting away and you take the chance to sit down. Pix immediately jumps on your lap and Coco comes running in from somewhere to lean against your side.

“You did good work, Pixie.” She doesn’t answer. “Need any healing?”

“No.”

“Okay.” You hadn’t felt any wounds on her, anyway. Her fur’s just frozen together. Might not even be a bad thing given how hot everything is here.

[-22:19:50]​

“That, uh, looks really good.” You start and almost tip the stove over. That was the girl in the other group. Forgot her name. And she’s very close to you. When did she get there? You’re not easy to sneak up on.

She starts to stammer out an apology before you cut her off. “It’s fine. Really.” Silence. Well, near-silence. Kekoa’s playing fetch with Coco. The stove’s sizzling. Genesis and the ice-trainer are talking. No. Not silence. Still awkward. “What do you usually eat?”

“Freeze-dried crap.

“What are you making tonight?”

“Freeze-dried crap.”

Poor thing. “Why? You have ice-types. You can keep real food.” Pixie grunts and plops down beside you. Snuck up on you. Again! At least she has padded feet.

“Wouldn’t that be super heavy?” The girl’s voice is quiet and monotone. Difficult to find emotion in. Hard to tell if she genuinely wants to change or just wants your food for the night.

“Do you have any big pokémon to carry things?”

“Um. I have a trevenant. But she’s really slow. Then Ty trains ice-types that don’t like heat. And Matt has poison-types.” She pauses to find a way to say the obvious. “I don’t want poison on our food.”

Fair complaints. “You have a type as well?” Wait uh. That could be taken the wrong way.

“I train plants.” Okay good. Was thinking about battling and not romance. “You have a theme?”

You flip the vegetables. Or some of them. Hard to make sure you flip them all and that none fall off of the tiny stove. “Sort of? Genesis is making a rain team.” Even if she doesn’t know it yet. “Kekoa’s going for fliers. I like big predators.”

Here comes the silence. The dragon girl silence. Hello, plant girl. Good riddance.

“That’s so cool.” Um. “I mean, dangerous.” What? “But cool.”

“Thanks?” Seriously, what? That’s not supposed to happen. Especially not from plant girl. You press your lips together and stir the pot while you think. “Not as dangerous as you’d think. Most mons could kill you. Some are nice enough to remind you.” You inch a hand towards the stove to feel the heat coming off. Feels like the food’s probably done. Taking the vegetables off the stove gives your brain another moment to catch up. “Plants are also cool I guess?”

Plant girl gives a short, bitter laugh. “They really aren’t. Most of them. My decidueye just evolved and she’s great. Distant. Protective. Still cuddly.”

You rummage through the food bag to find the sliced pidove breasts. Or what passes for pidove breasts here. No idea why they shape it like that when it was all grown in a petri dish. “Huh. Powerful, protective, and cuddly. Sounds like the ideal pokémon.” You make sure to reach out to Pix as you say it. She is powerful, protective, and cuddly. The ideal pokémon. And you love her very much and won’t leave her. The fox presses her head into your hand and accepts the scratches but doesn’t say anything.

“How’d you learn to cook?” the girl asks. Still hungry, it seems.

“Godmother taught me. I did most of it at home. House full of boys, you know?”

“I… no.” She awkwardly shifts. “I don’t think that’s normal? To make children do all the work?”

You scowl and bring your hand away from Pix. Time to use hand sanitizer and put the meat on. “I’m not a child. I’m fifteen.” Almost old enough to train for the army if you weren’t useless.

“I see.” It’s clear that she doesn’t but she’s letting it go because. Your shoulders are tense and your face is twisted. Americans. Judging you and your culture. You take some deep breaths and relax your body. Smile. Doesn’t matter if its fake. She’s just a kid. Don’t lash out. talk about the meal instead.

“This food’s better than what I usually made at home. Don’t think the others would settle for maize gruel.” Even if ātōlli is great with a little honey and the right seasonings. And pinolli was a staple in the old days. Instant food, just add water. Never actually made it. Simple, though, you’d just… ugh can you even get good maize here?

Plant girl coughs. “Can I have your number? For cooking advice. Later.” The last parts are surprisingly quick. Is she embarrassed by something. A crush? Or she doesn’t want you to think she has a crush? It’s kind of adorable either way. Not that you would ever reciprocate. She’s eleven at most and you’re maybe straight? Still working that one out. Not as if anyone would ever court you.

“Yeah, sure. It’s…”

[-21:10:59]​

“Break.” Odd. You’ve barely been hiking ten minutes. And Kekoa usually isn’t the one to call for it. “Long break. Put your packs down.”

Very odd. Not his period, he had that three weeks ago if you’re remembering right. Pixie still found it unsettling. Also you’re going to have to tell Coco why his father is laying an egg in a few weeks. Shit. Not looking forward to that. You were trying to avoid giving The Talk to a tyrannosaur. Still, you drop your pack and you can hear Genesis drop hers.

“Now, Jennifer, can you tell me my name?”

Well. Not how you would’ve handled it. You would’ve waited until Blush Mountain. Not forced the issue when you had to stay close to her for a few days more. Too late now. Here we go.

“I…” Genesis takes a deep breath. “I won’t lie to Xerneas, Allana.”

So much conviction in her tone. So much disrespect in her words. How’d she even remember Kekoa’s old name? You forgot about five minutes later. Not even on purpose.

If the familiar sound of a fist hitting a face is anything to go by, Kekoa has a fantastic arm.

Genesis reals back and sputters. “The heck was that for?” she demands. “I could’ve broken a tooth.”

No. The hit wasn’t nearly strong enough. Or maybe it just sounds louder when you’re the one getting hit?

“And you would have deserved it.” Kekoa doesn’t even sound angry. Smug, yes, but not angry. You take a step back to stay off the battlefield.

“I wasn’t going to use that name for you!” Genesis protests. “You were the one who wanted to know. Not my fault if you don’t like the answer.”

“I have the right to know how my teammates feel about me.” Still even while Genesis rages. Or tries to rage. Her voice is high enough that it’s actually kind of adorable.

“And I have the right not to be judged for my religion! You liberals like tolerance, right?”

Hmm. She may have a point. She’s being an asshole, but you hate it when Americans judge your religion. Then again, if you were being an asshole to them it would be reasonable. You don’t sacrifice non-believers unless they raise arms against your country.

“I don’t tolerate bigots,” Kekoa sneers. He’s getting emotional, too. Good chance this goes back to blows and someone gets hurt.

“Let’s not hurt each other out here,” you ask. “Get to Blush Mountain and then beat each other up?”

“I’m not beating him up!” Genesis exclaims (screeches). “He’s the only one who got violent.”

“Deadnaming is violence.”

As someone who’s been hurt by fists and words, there really is a difference.

“Kekoa goes in front. I go in the middle. Then Genesis.”

“Can’t we just leave her?” Kekoa asks. “She’s the one creating problems.”

“And you’d get in trouble for leaving someone alone in the mountains.”

Kekoa pauses to consider it.

“Fine,” he concedes. “I don’t need to take any more shit on its behalf than I already have.”

“Its?” Genesis asks. “I thought you wanted people to respect genders?”

“That’s enough.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

You have a sinking feeling that things are only going to get worse from here.
 
Last edited:

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
Well, here I am again. It's been way too long, and there are technically more pressing things I should be doing, but dangit I really like this fic and it's bothering me that I haven't been able to keep up with it in ages. Soooo I am going to do my level best to catch up. Reviews will be a bit less detailed than usual until I'm back at the present, but hopefully they're still fun!

Going to start with some chapters I've actually read before but haven't reviewed, 1.8-1.10. And a ton happened here! Lots more background on Cuicatl and Kekoa, we catch some pokémon, Cuicatl and Kekoa forge a truce, and Cuicatl wins a battle! These chapters were nicely meaty and advanced both the plot and the characters nicely.

Probably what stood out to me most in this section is Kekoa's memory of the weather crisis in Hoenn. I love how you thought through what sort of damage Groudon's intense drought would do, as well as how miserable Kyogre's torrential downpour would be. The scene of Jabari and Kekoa trying to find shelter was both surreal and intense, and I thought it captured how hazy and unreal it would probably seem when viewed in retrospect, while still retaining the visceral impact of the disaster. While I think the Hoenn games actually did a relatively decent job of showing Kyogre/Groudon's awakening having an actual impact on the world, you really took it to the next level here and made it feel like there was a plausible natural disaster in progress.

I'm also guessing that egg Jabari showed up with is a tyrunt, based on the whole Jurassic Park thing. Pretty shitty of him to try and make up for actual childhood abandonment with a cool gift (whatever the egg turns out to be), but on the other hand understandable from his position. I'm curious how much more we'll be seeing of him, and whether there's any chance of Kekoa reconciling with him. Would be understandable if he never did, but it could happen!

Cuicatl's sections had quite a bit of backstory, which I enjoyed. Her mother's ducklett starter sounds eerily similar to Pixie, actually, which is a fun parallel. I was briefly confused in the section where Cuicatl's mother goes to the farm to see the ducklett, thinking it was Cuicatl there, although you do have the bit in front of it to suggest that it's somebody else's memory. I am deeply curious as to why her mother was anticipating this trip and wasn't dismayed that she was being to choose from a bunch of ducklett. Did her mother think that a ducklett was going to be an apprpropriate starter (over the various presumably-more-even-tempered options you might even find at the same farm?)? Did Cuicatl's mother have a childhood obsession with ducklett (or maybe birds more generally) and she was the one who insisted that that's what she wanted? It seems like there would be many better options for a budding trainer, lol.

It was also great to see Cuicatl finally win a battle here. There's no way it's going to put a dent in her general self-loathing, but it's at least a start. I'll be curious to see where the truce between her and Kekoa goes, too; will they actually manage to keep it up for any length of time, or is Cuicatl's snark or Kekoa's vicious lashing-out going to doom it real fast? I'd love to see them become actual friends, but we're a long ways off from that, still.

Also, the paras! The paras are great. As someone who likes bugs, the characters' instinctive aversion to them makes me sad. They're friends! And they're even cute bugs. I liked how cavalier the paras (or at least Ce) were about giving up their mushrooms, too. Like Cuicatl, I would have expected them to be a bit more attached. (The fridge horror is in how they decide which one of the mushrooms is going to get the axe.)

There are loads of solid and funny character moments scattered around here. Probably my favorite was that the payoff to Genesis taking bits of Pixie's kibble turned out to be that she was trying to lure in an eevee... And then of course when she succeeded Pixie immediately dispatched the IMMINENT THREAT, HATEFUL DEMONSPAWN. Poor Genesis never gonna get her own kawaii fox. Cuicatl humming Pirates of the Caribbean music was random and unexpected, but I enjoy those kinds of mundane, unexpected details; makes things feel more organic and less . And the banter around the three kids hiking and getting on each other's nerves was nicely done.

That's all for now! It'll take a while yet, but I hope to get back to a place where I can be commenting on every chapter as it comes out again.
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
The following is a broad review of the entire Normal arc, plus the recap.

Sup! So, I went ahead and read the entire Normal arc from start to finish, and I'll definitely say that most of it has been a positive experience. There are a lot of good things here, though I will say that some aspects still have me scratching my head. I'll start with the most prominent positive, though: In terms of getting into the heads of the main characters, you've inevitably been able to capture it well.

While it's not that obvious for some (I can't quite tell the difference in voice for some perspectives beyond the actual ideas conveyed) the prose style for Genesis and Pixie/Coco, for example. is very clear. The rest are more neutral, but have a different mindset, so to speak. I suppose when going in first/second/third-limited perspective, that's inevitable, but being able to switch between the prose styles so cleanly is something I'll give kudos for.

Unfortunately, that strong and very, very internal voice leads to a few downsides for other aspects of the story. This was particularly noticeable with Genesis when she was hiking, but there are some times when you're so far into the heads of the characters that the actual actions of what's happening around or to them is known to me, the reader, after the fact, rather than in the moment. One moment that stands out in particular is when the narration is interrupted when she trips, but we don't really know that she tripped and fell and got dirty until a smidge later. While the difference in timing is minute, it's still significant and took me out of the experience.

Additionally, one consistent style in the prose, which was charming at first, but quickly became a little grating and repetitive, was the use of run-on sentences when a main's thoughts became obsessive, rambling, or so on. There are a lot of places where this happens, most of them easy to spot with the clusters of "and" clauses without many periods to spare.

And I'm not a whole arc in, and the use of second person still feels more a detriment to the story than third person ultra-limited would have been. It's just such an unorthodox style, and because I don't really relate to any of these characters, that makes it doubly counter to its intention. Second person is usually meant to be the most immersive narrative style, and yet by constantly switching from one person to another, that takes away from the very point of that use of perspective.

I suppose there could be a gigantic twist later on that the reader actually is a character, perhaps some ultra Psychic or god (as I think it was alluded to in the past) inhabiting the minds of all these characters and 'becoming' them for chapters at a time, but if that's the case... I don't really know if it's all that worth it to go this far. And that's a really far benefit of the doubt to be giving already.

Actually, let me transition into the characters next. I... don't like half of them. I know there are a lot of reviews and comments here saying that they love Pixie, but I genuinely don't see it. Having an abusive past is no excuse for being the way she is. Sure, it's a reason, and it makes sense, but that doesn't really make her all that more pleasant in my eyes. Kekoa, same deal, and Cuicatl has a few shades, though she isn't as bad. I'm glad those two are making up, or at least making an effort for it, but damn, getting in some of their heads actually made me like them less.

Coco was a breath of fresh air, though, for the most part. But I guess it's hard to go wrong in terms of likability when you can play Child's Eye tropes. You even got to skip the brainless infancy phase thanks to Pokemon magic.

Speaking of characters, broadly speaking, I am kind of curious about the cast as a whole. I know you have a note on representation at the start, and it's very clear that the many characters involved are very eclectic... but I think in your effort to cram as many topical traits into a small handful of characters at once, at some point near the middle of introductions I found myself thinking, "What in the world are the odds of all these people actually meeting up at once at the same time? Who thought it was a good idea to let them stay together despite this? How are they not dead?"

And I suppose that last one already came close for some of them by their own hands.

On a slightly related note, I notice in some of your review responses, you also say that it's sort of a badge of honor, or a contest you plan to win in terms of how many you can have. Similar to your choice of second person, it's sounding like a lot of these writing choices are almost intentionally contrarian, both in a conventions/meta sense and in terms of simple trends. While some of that is commendable, I wonder if there's such a thing as too much of a good thing: I don't really know what you're trying to go for, even if I generally have a vague grasp of what it's going against. Sure, you could tell me, but I don't know what the work is saying anymore.

This becomes even further convoluted in the chapter with Lila, which is arguably the most interesting chapter in the whole arc. We actually have a proper plot of... some kind--one that was sorely lacking for most of the early parts when we were busy following around these Broken Things on their journey (At least, I imagine that's what's intended by the story title for now, with its superficial meaning.) So Anabel (known here as Lila, her canon name in Japan) is a Psychic akin to Cuicatl and Rachel, we've got a Necrozma on the way, we've got words of an Apocalypse based on Genesis...

This is actually interesting! Where... has it been for the past 14 chapters?

The reason I'm kind of worried is because despite this backdrop, literally everything else about this story, from its title to its PoV choice to how much focus everything but this plot is getting, it seems more like this is going to be a Greater Scope Subplot that won't actually get any focus. Is that changing, is that shifting, or is it just going to be journey, journey, journey with actually interesting plot moments sprinkled between it? The canon Pokemon games love doing that, and it's something I hope is avoided in things that are actually focused on the story, like, well, a story.

Alternatively, is this just a slow start, and things will pick up from here on? Because while I enjoyed the first arc for its character intros and interactions, I don't really know if it can hold my interest with just that for another full arc where their only major accomplishment/discovery is getting the next Crystal.

Side note, I promise, this is the last time you'll see me complaining in a review about second person with constantly changing perspectives. I think by now I've made it known that I see it as an overall negative influence on the story's cohesiveness compared to something more traditional, like third person ultra-limited. But, well, it's clear traditional isn't what you like to go by, maybe you even turn your nose up at the very prospect, so I'm also not at all surprised in hindsight at the choice!

Okay, I got distracted there on a slightly negative tangent, but let me just roll back and revisit the other really interesting thing about Lila's chapter. That was sort of the first time I was sort of reminded, "Oh, that's right, this is actually based on the canon in some way." For a while I just forgot the Kahunas and so on even existed, and now that they're involved again, I really appreciate how much you're incorporating and reimagining certain elements of the canon. In particular, the Hoenn incidents with the weather, the Ultra Beast invasions...

Darker than my personal tastes, so I didn't care for it quite that much, but I still have to acknowledge how well-done it was despite that. I'm hoping, similar to my concerns above, that it's actually capitalized upon, and not used simply as a backdrop. Nothing makes me sadder than a story that refers to a cooler story not being told.

Anyway, those are my general thoughts. I think I came off as more negative than I actually feel about this story for the most part, largely because of the discrepancy between where I see potential in where this story can go, and where I think the story intends to go, in terms of direction. It's a very interesting backdrop with hints at something greater, marred somewhat by a confusing choice of direction that I'm wondering will change in the coming arc, or if it will be more of the same. Keeping the formula fresh, I think, is something that a lot of journey fics need to grapple with.

Regardless, I look forward to reading more later! Despite my concerns, I'm still eager to keep reading to see where the story will go next.

P.S. If it's not a bother, could you maybe set up a Table of Contents? While I was constructing this review and referring to some of the chapters, it became way more difficult and cumbersome than it was worth without a ToC to help me quickly get to them It'll also help with going to other chapters anyway without accidentally scrolling into future chapters or reviews that might spoil things when glancing at them.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Staff
Location
somewhere in spacetime
Pronouns
they/them
Partners
  1. pikachu-chibi
  2. lugia
  3. palkia
  4. lucario-shiny
  5. incineroar-starr
A surge of pride flows into your mind as the heatmor stands up on her hind legs to hug you goodbye. You return it and your sister wanders off to find more bugs to eat.
How did you make Heatmor this adorable. How are all the background mons in this fic so adorable.
“Too dark,” Genesis answers. You attempt to make eye contact, lids as far open as you can get them. “And, um, predators,” she quickly adds.
This is such a certified Toph Moment and I'm dying.
“Can’t believe we’re doing all this for some damn noobs.” You tilt your head and angle it in his direction. “Bunch of kids in Sinnoh have convinced themselves that ‘vire is gonna be the next big thing. Shot up the price worldwide.”
Damn, sick burn on the DP metagame from 2007. :V
“We haven’t introduced ourselves, have we?” Genesis interjects. “I’m Genesis, she’s Cuicatl,” she says with mostly correct pronunciation, “and… that’s…”
How to give the chibi anxiety: a guide.
“Thanks?” Seriously, what? That’s not supposed to happen. Especially not from plant girl. “Not that dangerous? Most mons could kill you. Some are nice enough to remind you.”
Cuicatl, I don't know what was wrong with your peers back home, but anyone in their right mind should find that cool.
“Now, Jennifer, can you tell me my name?”
no no no no no

(Incidentally, it's kind of darkly amusing that he's asking this in the same sentence as he's getting her name wrong. :P Buuuuut I'd argue that him getting her name wrong doesn't quiiiiite pack the same punch.)
If the familiar sound of a fist hitting a face is anything to go by, Kekoa has a fantastic arm.
OH SH--

Welp, shit's gonna hit the fan next chapter, looks like. I think you've already mentioned it, but I forgot whose POV it's gonna be. Hoo boy, this is gonna be rough...
 
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