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Blacklight Eternal Prize Volunteers

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partner
charizard
Hey all -- this is the thread that is exclusively for volunteers who would like to provide prizes that can be see in the Blacklight Eternal Credit meter. As a recap (and with some extra information) these are the prizes and what it would entail:

Review volunteers - This means that when someone reaches a threshold on the prize meter for getting a review, people from this pool will be selected. If you are doing a review as a volunteer, the quality of the review should be something that the prize claimers would be looking forward to, and is recommended to at least be longer than 200 words. The amount covered in the review is entirely up to you (1 chapter is probably the standard) but will be worth +1 extra point toward your own prize meter, in addition to the points earned for reviewing in the first place.

Fan-fanfiction volunteer - This is a drabble (1000 words or so) based on the prompt of the prize winner. This can be anything from "Write a story with Blue except he's a Pidgeot" to "My character goes go-kart racing with yours" and so on. Simple prompts. You should probably put limits on what you're willing to write and what you aren't. Anything written MUST follow TR posting guidelines. Volunteers who complete a drabble will earn an extra 2 points upon publishing it. Note that these extra points are on top of the 1 point for writing 1000 words.

Art volunteer - Just as it says, this will be a piece of art that will be drawn for earning 150 total points or more over the course of Blacklight. Discussion is still ongoing on how high the art quality will be, but don't expect something extremely labor intensive--after all, this is free! Art drawn and submitted for this prize will also add a flat 5 points to your own credits.

--

Please keep all discussion about the prizes in the main discussion thread. This thread is solely to keep track of who is volunteering for what, and to keep track of prizes that are earned and distributed. For ease of tracking please keep your signups in one post and edit it if you want to change something, rather than make a new post.
 
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SparklingEspeon

Insquisitabilitating
Pronouns
She/Her
Reviews are my specialty, so I'd be happy to volunteer for that.

This was written for "PMD: Guiding Light", on Fanfiction.net (Spoiler-y parts have been hashed out here)

~Review of the Prologue~

I haz return to review once more :quilaree:

I remember reading PMD: Guiding Light back in November of 2019, and reviewing it shortly after. BUT… I’m not really satisfied with the review I left, which covered the broad strokes, made some dumb comments, and wasn’t really helpful at the end of the day. So now I return with an in-depth look! :D (I barely remember any of the details by now, so I should be good, I think?) I’ll be going by the parts listed on your profile, since that breaks the story down into fairly manageable chunks of 2 – 6- 8 chapters. Obviously, starting with

~Part I – Chapters 1 – 2~

Already, the prologue reminds me of the opening to PMD: Defenders of Warmth. Which… I’m not really sure whether that was intentional or not, but it’s probably in that italicized monologue about what Life is, which is structured very similarly to DoW’s. Narration aside, this prologue is actually one of the large talking points I have for this story, but since that relies on context that comes far, far later on I shall hold off on talking about that in-depth until later. The only thing I’ll say about that subject currently is that it does seem fairly obvious what happened in hindsight, and with all the clues he got over the course of the story Shane really should have been able to piece together a better idea of what happened beyond 'I’m Solgeleo’ (which he only knew because of the weird visions he’d been having).

I get that Shane’s supposed to be an ass at this point in the story, but to be frank a lot of his gripes (like the Bulbasaur Riolu thing and getting left behind in the RP thread) sound fairly reasonable? Granted, they’re pretty petty, but I think it would be lying to say that no-one ever has those monologues running through their heads every once in a while. Especially if Shane isn’t particularly enthused about his job, which he isn’t.

I like the imagery with the rain. For some reason whenever a storm happens in a story everyone tries to describe the actual *rain*, and… what gives? Rain is the last thing I want to read about; I’d rather read about how it affects the story. This prologue is quite minimal with the rain description, instead describing things like how Shane experiences it when he pulls his car out of the garage, or how it’s so heavy that he can’t see a thing. I think it works extra well here because it’s limiting Shane’s sight and poses an actual threat to him, since he’s driving. It’s a very creative use of rain that I almost never see, so thank you for blessing us with interesting rain!

…Yes that sounds bad out of context

So Shane is crashed into, gets yeeted into PMD, and then Chapter One begins.

My first thought when reading Chapter One is ‘OMG, this reminds me so much of the beach scene from PMD Explorers. How did I not realize that before?’ Although it seems to work more as a subversion of that scene more than a reskinned retelling. While it has the same structure, there are lots of little things and derailments that ultimately work against it being a cookie-cutter retelling (like Eevee’s brief appearance and Growlithe’s offer to lead Tess-uh into the Guild). I also notice you’ve used it to slip in little bits of fleeting exposition, like Tessa’s heritage and how having names here clearly isn’t a normal thing.

All of it leads up to the ultimate subversion of the scene, where Tessa whacks Shane over the head and knocks him unconscious on the pretenses of being a ‘thief’, instead of saying ‘ok i believe you’ and then getting robbed by actual thieves. I’ve seen the Beach Scene (and it’s many, many variations) so many times in PMD fanfic that it’s almost always one of the largest turn-offs for me, so seeing a story that subverts the beach scene in a serious way (Whether intended or not, although it looks like it was?) is a nice break away from that.

Sylveon’s house is obviously a reference to the Team Bases from PMD Rescue Team. But she also lives on the fringes of town, not in the heavily populated sector where the Guild is. Are all the houses like that, even downtown? If they’re redecorated to look like the pokemon living there, what happens when they move out? Does it get remodeled for free, or does the pokemon have to pay for that or do it themselves? What if it doesn’t work? What if the pokemon doesn’t want to remodel? Is this even a viable housing situation? Or does Sylveon just have a custom house on the outskirts of town?

I know it’s important for later, but I positively *hate* it when things get ‘stuck’ to a character, like Shane’s Z-Bracelet. I mean, it’s not really a part of him, there’s just some enchantment holding it there. And it always sets off my OCD because I always imagine there’s like a whole bunch of gunk that builds up under that object that never gets cleaned off because the character can’t clean themselves there. One day Shane is going to find a way to take off that bracelet, and his fur will be dyed black there from all the dirt ;-;

Espeon, Umbreon, and the Ultra Beast Mutation plot thread they’ve kicked into action are another one of my large talking points, but I don’t have much to say on them yet either at this point in the story. One thing I appreciated was that you managed to give them the proper weight of how two pokemon as powerful as they are should feel – Tessa doesn’t stand a chance against them, and would be dead and gone if not for her scarf. I think showing a character overpowered like that is hard to get across in writing, and it was done well here.

I find it very interesting that Sneasel and Jangmo-o ‘stole the scarf fair and square’, because last I checked theft was neither of those things.

Thou shalt not insult frozen pizzas

I liked a lot of the mid-battle banter. A problem that I have with a lot of written battles is that characters can have lengthy monologues in the middle of a fight and the fight just ‘stops’ for them. Granted, there’s a little bit of that here, but it can kind of be handwaved because no-one in that fight is really an experienced fighter or knows what they’re doing. I also appreciated that it wasn’t ‘fluff banter’ like “We can do this!” or “Just one more hit!”; the character dynamic is very clear. Shane makes dumb comments because he’s not taking any of this seriously, Tessa is annoyed with Shane for not taking anything seriously, and Sneasel and Jangmo-o are too busy being smug cringelords to get a grip.

One thing that kind of bugs me, however, is the weird ‘laughs’ or noises that follow a pokemon’s sentences (“kweh-he-he”; “yup-yup”). I know that canon PMD does this, but it just reads weird to me, more like it’s a catchphrase than a sound a pokemon would actually make. In Sneasel’s case in particular, I feel like it’s just the standard evil laugh, and that broke immersion for me a good few times because I’d stop to cringe at it. (I mean granted both of those thieves seem to be cringey by design but still)

I’m not sure whether Tessa’s scarf having a sun and moon design and then getting split into a sun scarf and a moon scarf is symbolism of some sort or just a ‘wink wink’ reference to Pokemon Sun and Moon. It’s *probably* safe to assume that Shane got the sun half, which would match up with his connection to Solgeleo throughout the story (And Tessa would match with Moon since her mother is affiliated with ‘lunala’), but not sure whether that was intended or not.

Haven’t got much to say on Eevee and Sylveon yet, as they are barely present in this story from what I remember, but so far I think the prologue and first two chapters hold up relatively well! I noticed some typos throughout, but nothing that detracted from the enjoyment of it as a whole. I know that they were two chapters, but honestly it felt to me like they were just one large chapter split in two due to length. When I reached the end of Chapter Two I felt some closure, but it felt to me like the closure of a chapter of a story ending, not a chapter like one of the Chapters in a PMD Game. But either way, the beginning holds up really well! Looking forward to coming back and doing the rest.

~SparklingEspeon

Listening to: Mina_Dracula – Wojciech Kilar

Provided I can find and keep my drawing tablet in one piece until I need it, I'll also sign up for drawing! I'm willing to do:

Two slots for (A) a poster of someone's story, or (B) a drawing of a scene/location of the user's choice.

Mewtwo Poster.jpg
Gold Division Base2.jpg
The Pledge Mountain Fellowship.jpg
Do Psychic-Type Pokemon Dream Of Electric Sheep Part Two Poster.jpg
 
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unrepentantAuthor

A cat that writes stories.
Location
UK
Pronouns
they/them/their
Partner
purrloin-salem
I'd like to volunteer for reviewing, writing, and art. I'm a renaissance cat.

This review was written for "Tales of Arrival" during a Catnip Circle review exchange.

There's a lot being done right here. Characterisation is clear and distinct mostly through expression and dialogue, the prose is descriptive enough to provide imagery while remaining tight and breezy to propel through the story, and the humour generally lands well. I actually snorted a few times reading some of the jokes, which is more than most fiction gets from me! The atmosphere is great, it has that bright and tenacious vibe straight out of PMD while also some foreboding implications about the kind of threats at hand.

In terms of content, it's a little early to lay down any significant commentary. You're mostly hitting conventional beats, but you're doing so in a fun way and there's a little extra in there too. The main thing to note is the crossover component, which I worried might alienate me somewhat. Although the opening paragraphs were a little rocky for me as someone not enfranchised by ToS, so far it hasn't been a problem for readability or comprehension. I certainly feel like I have a good idea of Kratos' personality, and everything else is incidental save for that it informs his attitudes towards much younger persons and the willingness of the Guild leadership to cooperate with him, and that much was easily understood.

In terms of prose, I generally enjoyed the narrative style and only one particular device stood out to me as something I'd suggest correcting. There's a tendency for new characters to be described with a string of adjectives, in clauses that are a little clunky. I feel like taking an extra sentence to present aesthetic information about characters and mixing it in with other narration is a worthwhile tradeoff. For example, "Seated at the end of the room was a strange, cream-and-green mustelid-like creature wearing a red vest, flanked by two floating grayish blue automaton-like beings." This is a chunky sentence consisting mostly of adjectives and adjectival contructions, and it could definitely do with being split up, and introduced to a few commas. Not a huge problem, nor a difficult one to fix.

Reading these two chapters was a pleasant use of my early morning today, and while I'm not huge on classic PMDfic or on crossovers, it'll be my pleasure to read onwards in the future.

This excerpt is from the prologue of my fanfic, "Different Eyes."

“Ah, you’re the one called Fuji, yes?”

Doctor Fuji,” he replied, straightening up. “Sir,” he quickly added.

Giovanni did not bow in return. The pause before he replied made Fuji’s breath catch in his chest.

“Of course,” he said at last. Giovanni’s smile was wide, but it never reached his eyes. “Thank you for your time, Doctor Fuji.”

Fuji’s breath returned. Perhaps that ‘sir’ at the last moment had saved him. He’d like to think it was his own value to Giovanni as a scientist, but that would be flattering himself. Now that the sample had been obtained and the groundwork done, Fuji was becoming ever more replaceable as an asset.

“Naturally,” he said. “You are financing the project, after all. Your man on the radio didn’t mention the nature of your visit?”

Giovanni merely raised an eyebrow and walked past him, ignoring the implicit question.

When he moved, it was unhurried and confident. This was surely a man accustomed to commanding the patience and attention of anyone in his line of sight. Fuji was no scholar of psychology, but he found himself analysing his sponsor’s intimidating persona even while hurrying past the man to open the door for him.

His face was inexpressive in the tense manner of a person who kept their thoughts behind a mask. He was in total control of himself. The pokémon was a persian, judging by the gem set in its forehead — a pedigree, no doubt — and it followed at his heel without a sound or a sideways glance. It was strictly trained. Despite the Italian name he used, Giovanni’s accent, facial features and mannerisms all suggested a Kantō heritage. It was obviously a pseudonym for a man with secrets worth hiding, but he must have had considerable arrogance to disguise the truth with such an obviously fake identity.

At least, that was Fuji’s assessment. Perhaps he was wrong, and there was an honourable, philosophical man under all that presence and menace.

Giovanni didn’t look at him once as they made their way into the facility.

This piece was produced in an art exchange during Artfight 2020. jenny & shiela thumb.png
 

DeliriousAbsol

*Crazy Absol Noises*
Staff
Location
Behind a laptop, most likely with tea
Pronouns
She/Her
I'm happy to offer drabble and art prizes (if people like my art style.)

Restrictions - no occult or paranormal themes, or shipping. I also don't like the houndoom line, and won't portray them as protags. There are also limits on drawing as I'm not comfortable with my ability to draw humans.
 

windskull

Bidoof Fan
Staff
Partner
sneasel-nip
I'm happy to offer the following:

- 2 of the drabbles (up to 1k words, shipping is ok within certain parameters (follows the general TR guidelines, essentially). Non pokemon fics are a maybe. Discuss it with me.)
Here on the forum is an example of what you can expect out of a shorter work (this is about 1.4k words but it gives a general idea)

- 2 art prizes of up to two characters with a simple background
chibiattack.png
dragonfreeattack.png
If there ends up being more people that reach these goals than there are volunteers I might be willing to offer a few more slots.
 
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Dragonfree

Pokémon Trainer
Staff
Location
Iceland
Pronouns
she/her/hers
I'd like to volunteer to make art prizes! Samples of my work (with varying degrees of effort put in) can be seen on my artblog. I've done art prizes for various events before and delivered quickly. Can pretty much do any number, it'd just mean they take a bit longer.
 

Persephone

Pokémon Trainer
Pronouns
her/hers
Mentioned in other thread, but for formality’s sake I’ll offer Alola Dex / World Myth Encyclopedia commissions. Can take up to one a month.
 

Pen

the cat is mightier than the pen
Staff
I can do reviews and drabbles! My reviews can sometimes be line-edits-y so I'd want a prize-claimer who is down for that.

Sample review: Chapter one of God and Demons

No restrictions occurring to me for drabbles that aren't already covered by the TR guidelines.
 
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Shadow of Antioch

Viaggiatore
Location
Messina, Italy
Pronouns
he/his
I volunteer for reviews and drabbles!

The title should have been “Do Psychic-Types Dream of Psyonic Sheep?”. Missed opportunity, 0/10.

On a more serious note, the premise of your story is one I’ve never quite seen before. It seems to be PSMD, but without the player character? Huh. Initially I thought it would literally be the game from the perspective of Espurr, but I’m starting to think the player character straight-up isn’t going to appear. Leah and—sorry, I meant Tricky and Espurr have already rescued Goomy and shared Tricky’s scarves. Things that happen in the games, but with the player character.

Pffft, Tricky. Such a silly name, yet one so… perfect for her.

Speaking of characters, I’d argue those are by far your strong point so far. Your dialogue is on-point and paints a variety of character voices with all their nuances and personality: Espurr’s quietness, Tricky’s hyperactivity and excitement, Goomy’s shyness, and so on, so forth. Every character so far has had a unique character voice. That is no easy task, believe me. You also seem to be able to weave from a goofy tone to a more serious one quite seamlessly, which, once again, is no easy feat. It’s easy to see you have a talent for this.

I’m really, really excited for the political side of this story. The game never mentioned any form of government whatsoever, and by the postgame it felt like all of civilisation was limited to the four or five settlements you see in the game. Here, by showing the Expedition Society exploring these deserted cities, you accomplish two things. One, that the world isn’t literally limited to five villages; and two, that the Expedition Society is serious business. These aren’t just teenagers running around with badges—though Ampharos’ sense of direction remains exaggerated for comedic effect—but are instead people who seriously risk their lives in their line of work.

I hope the political side of the story is expanded. I hope we get to see presidents, prime ministers, kings, parliaments, city-states—something that hints that this world is lived in. I fully expect it not to be the main focus of the story, but that’s fine. Even having that background detail works wonders. I’m also curious what role guilds like the Exploration Society play in this world. They haven’t yet been linked to any government structure, so are they independent organisations that wield significant political and social influence? Or are they the police/Civil Protection of this world?

While there are already signs that the plot will not be an exact retelling of PSMD minus the player character—the last scene of chapter two comes to mind—I do hope that it diverges further than it does currently. I know the story of the game, you know the story of the game. I hope we get something more than that, though it already looks very promising on that front. Keep building your characters. You’ve done a great job so far.

(Note: My reviews tend to get longer as the story progresses.)
 

MidnightMutetation

Reviewing 'til I drop~
Location
Singapore
Pronouns
Her/She
Slightly late, but I can help review anyone who wants it! Word of warning: my reviewing style, which can be seen below, may not be everyone's cup of tea. If it is though, I'll be honoured to provide reviews!

[Chapter 1]

Hello, hello Fuse! I’m back with another review, and this time it’ll be on the TR forums (and will continue to be on here until I’m caught up). The last review I left for the prologue was mostly positive — about 90% of the chapter was a really great read — and it makes me happy to say that the standard was maintained in this chapter too! Like the last review I left for you, this will be in the “specific thoughts > general thoughts > SPaG mistakes” sequence, so if you don’t like it, I’ll be glad to change it for the next review! Anyways, moving on:

-/ And right off the bat, the transition from ethereal nothingness to the comforting warmth of the real world is smooth as heck. I particularly like the description during that sequence.

-/ And first surprising thing of this chapter is that apparently "Outlanders" are rather commonplace in this world, to the point that Diana can so comfortably talk about them like they're your everyday travelers. Now, I'm curious if all Outlanders are world-saving heroes, or if each of them were brought to this world for varying reasons. It's honestly a pretty cool concept, and I can't wait to see the duo meet other Outlanders.

-/ A minor detail I like about his transformation is that Rio is completely unused to his new Lucario body, but not overtly so because he's still bipedal in nature.

-/ [Rio could swear he saw someone staring at him from the woods.] That's ominous as hell, and it tickles me that Rio glossed over it like it's an everyday event (although I'm chalking it up to Rio still getting used to his new circumstances).

-/ Oh my god, Minerva is my new favourite character here. Who wouldn't love a sassy meowth that chucks box full of rocks at bad jokes, huh? Jax is also a delight; he's so boisterous without being obnoxious about it.

-/ Huh, that's a bit of an odd flashback. The fact that Rio doesn't end up punching the bag anyway makes me wonder if this flashback would play a bigger role later on (maybe I'm just overthinking it, ha ha).

-/ Were you hungry when you wrote the pie section? The pies' descriptions are making *me* hungry now, ha ha. Props to you though, the way you went about the description without dragging it out is great.

-/ Oh, real animals coexist with Pokemon in the PMD world? Interesting, I hardly see that in fics.


And that's about it for my comments on specific sections! As for my general thoughts, I thought that this was a really entertaining first chapter (sans the prologue)! Every character was distinct and had their own voice, and it never got to the point that I couldn't differentiate characters from dialogue alone. The prose was entertaining, humor was more or less on point, and it was overall a great introduction to Sunset Valley and its locals. I'll delve into the characters and the setting separately.

So, Sunset Valley seems like the typical "first town in PMD" that the MC (Rio, in this case) will be staying in indefinitely. There's nothing particularly special about it, but I feel like the colourful cast of residents more than makes up for it. The most memorable has to be either Minerva or Diana: the former being a spunky meowth that doesn't take crap from anyone (but seems to get along well with them at the same time), and the latter sharing a significant similarity with Rio by being an Outlander. Minerva really bounces off the duo personality-wise, which opens up a bunch of opportunities for her to have fun interactions with the two main characters. As for Diana, she just inspires a lot of questions: who *is* she? What was she brought here for? How many goddamn dangers does the world face if it requires *multiple* Outlanders to be brought over? All of them are rhetorical questions for the future, though, so I'll move on.

Now, characters. I already pretty much covered what I thought of the Sunset residents -- love Minerva and Diana, liked Jax, neutral to everyone else -- but I have to say that none of them are able to beat out Rio and Kora. Kora's an entertaining goof all on his own -- with his dynamics with everyone else, bad jokes, and cheery disposition -- and Rio... To be honest, while Rio hasn't been totally amazing compared to everyone else, he doesn't really have too much of a personality established? The prologue already shows he's heroic to a fault, and this one just shows him pretty much reacting to everything around him. This isn't a bad thing, though! The little banters he has with Kora was a delight to read, and it felt very natural despite them having met on literally the same day. I don't have much more to say about it except for that I can't wait to see how they develop as a duo.

Those are the main positives I have. For the negatives, I only have two, one of which has more to do with a specific section.

First is the odd dialogue formatting. Once or twice, I would've just dismissed it as a mistake and pointed it out for you, but I noticed it was the same throughout the chapter. You tend to format dialogue like ["Hello." He said.] and ["Let's go," He wrapped an arm around hers.] when it's supposed to be ["Hello," he said.] and ["Let's go." He wrapped an arm around hers.] respectively.

Second thing is that, the whole pie eating section was *really* drawn out. Yes, the pies' descriptions were well done, but I personally felt that the characters' reactions while eating the pies could've been shortened somewhat? I'm not too sure; considering the earlier slapstick scene with Kora and Minerva, it could just be a type of comedy that I'm not the target audience of. Basically, this is probably subjective, so take my opinion on it with a grain of salt :joltyshrug:

That was all for general thoughts. As for the SPaG mistakes I noticed (note that none of the quoted lines are the incorrectly formatted dialogue I mentioned above):



["Who's the new guy?" The Meowth asked.]

"the" instead of "The".

[...Rio asked politely. Diana, pleased with Rio's politeness, gladly took up his request.]

While grammatically correct, having two variations of the same word ("politely" and "politeness") just sounds really odd when read out loud. Perhaps "politeness" could be replaced with "attitude", since readers can already infer from the previous line that Rio is being polite, and thus Diana is pleased with that, if that makes sense.

[The burly Pokemon said to himself, not aware of the two others within earshot. He didn't notice Kora and Rio until...]

This has a similar problem with the previous quote. Having two variations of "Jax didn't notice them" so close to each other sounds awkward. Perhaps it could be arranged as ["The burly Pokemon said to himself, not aware that the two others were within earshot until after he tossed the bag aside...] instead, or something like that.


And that's all I have to say! Overall, this chapter was just fun to read, as an introduction to new characters and an insight to some characters' personalities and quirks. I probably talked way too much for chapter 1, but there was just so much to talk about, and I enjoyed every bit of it! I'll get to the second chapter soon, but in the meantime, keep up the good work!
 
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