• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

  • It's time for Thousand Roads' yearly one-shot contest! This year we're focusing on the theme of partnership between humans and Pokémon. You have all February to craft an entry--see more details here!

Pokémon A Series of Conversations (One-shot)

GrayGriffin

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
any
A Series of Conversations
or: The Erkens Heir Courts The Mad Scientist, As Told Through The Eyes Of Their Companions
Warning: References to offscreen sexual content

"Hey, bird," growled a voice. Gerard squeaked, feathers fluffing up as he spun around from the slice of pizza he was nibbling on. It had gone mostly cold, but the mixture of grease, sauce, bread, and meat was still most delectable. He dearly wished Dad had introduced him to this dish earlier!

It was Ogar, the Mightyena companion of the scientist. They hadn't really talked much, outside of working together in battle. Gerard took a gulp, swallowing his current bite of pizza. "What do you want?" he asked, attempting to keep his voice steady.

"Tell me about your trainer," growled Ogar. "I need to know if his desire to be the leader will be a threat to mine."

"What? No!" exclaimed Gerard. His feathers puffed up again, this time in anger. He snapped his rocky jaws together. "Dad only wants what's best for everyone! He should get to be the leader anyways! He knows how to fight best!"

Ogar sighed, looking quite unimpressed. "I suppose I saw some of his commanding ability in that last battle of ours. I must admit, he does have an eye for tactics. At the same time, you are obviously biased. You don't mind if we talk again, do you?"

Gerard wanted to say yes-Ogar was really intimidating when he was like this! Then again, both of them just wanted to protect the humans they cared for most. Plus maybe it wouldn't be so scary once Gerard evolved as well.

"I guess not..."

"Good." Ogar's head turned and he spun around, loping towards the dining hall. "Later, then. I think he's about to attempt to do something with the coffee machine that someone will regret."


-------------------------------------
"So," muttered Ogar to Gerard as the two of them ate beside the campfire, "you have any idea why your trainer's suddenly so happy to hang out with mine? Because I distinctly remember him using the word 'creepy' to describe his enthusiasm for experimentation before."

"...it is kind of creepy, though," said Gerard. Ogar's tail curled in his equivalent of a shrug.

"I'm not here to pass judgement on my own trainer's passion. He could stand to be a bit more cautious in his decision-making, but that's what I'm here for."

"Well..." said Gerard, his own wing feathers wriggling a shrug, "I think it's because Dad doesn't like other humans touching him so much. And the scout does that all the time, you know? So your trainer's the only other member of the team closer to his age he can handle."

Ogar huffed. "I guess that makes some kind of sense. You know that might change if he reveals those abilities of his, don't you?"

Gerard's tail stiffened. "...what abilities?" he asked, trying to keep his feathers from fluffing out and displaying his shock. Ogar leaned closer, sniffing slightly.

"I can smell it on him. I wasn't sure what it was, until we encountered that gold-throwing Meowth." Ogar leaned back. "And you also smell different when you're nervous, you know."

"I'm always nervous! Especially around you!" chirped Gerard in objection. Ogar just huffed again.

"It's not like I'll reveal it to my trainer or anything. Even if I could. I'm just...giving you a warning, alright?" And with that, Ogar stood up to pad back to his trainer's side, to watch over him as he prepared another one of those chemical bombs he seemed so fond of. Gerard didn't have that good a sense of smell, but the scent still tickled at his nose in uncomfortable ways sometimes. Ogar really was devoted to his trainer, to endure that smell in order to make sure he was safe...


-------------------------------------
"Do you know what happened between those two last night?" asked Ogar. Their trainers were sitting next to each other, odd expressions on both of their faces. On occasion, one of them would steal a glance at the other. "All I know is your trainer called mine down for something. It didn't seem to take that long, then he came back and went back to work."

"I'm not sure either," admitted Gerard. "All I know is that he mentioned not being tired before leaving the room, and then when he came back he mentioned something about your trainer being surprisingly gentle? And his hands being soft?"

"They were in a public area, weren't they?" muttered Ogar. The Mightyena started to pace back and forth. "Are you telling me your playboy flirt of a trainer has decided to seduce mine? To...maybe even break his heart?"

"Hey! Dad's not like that! Sure he's good at flirting, but he's always used to to convince people to do things for us! To help the team!" Gerard really wished he could evolve already, so that he didn't have to always be looking up at Ogar. Suddenly, he remembered something else.

"Oh! This morning when Dad was getting dressed, I saw a burn mark on his arm? I bet that's what your trainer helped him with!" Ogar sat back down with a huff.

"Right...he did grab his bag. I suppose he might have had Burn Heal in there." He seemed a bit disappointed that his conspiracy theories against Gerard's trainer didn't hold out after all. "Still. I won't let him break my trainer's heart."

"Dad wouldn't do that," muttered Gerard, going back to his breakfast.

"I suppose you know him best," admitted Ogar at last, going back to his own meal. Still, now both of them were occasionally stealing glances back at their trainers, and the way they looked at each other...

-------------------------------------
After that last battle, the group should have been resting. Despite that, Ogar had somehow summoned the strength to stand anyways, pacing back and forth in the Pokemon Center room. Their trainers were being kept elsewhere for slightly longer observation, but even "slightly longer" was too long to be separated, in his opinion. Finally, he settled back next to Gerard, who had been lying next to the door all this time.

"Hey. Congratulations on evolving, bird. I bet your trainer's going to be just fine, at least. He was barely in the thick of it."

"What do you mean by that?" snapped Gerard, rearing up to his full height. "You saw that they had psychic attacks! Those could reach him just fine!" Ogar actually backed away a bit.

"Wow, evolution's made you temperamental. I'm just saying, it's not like he got any direct burns."

"...I'm sure your trainer will be fine too," said Gerard at last. "Pokemon Centers are really good at treating people. And neither of them actually fainted, so it can't be that bad."

Ogar laid down, head on his paws. "It's not just that," he growled. "He got burned bad, and I wasn't there. It's my role to protect him, and I failed that. It should have been me who got burned!" he snarled.

"I think you got hurt pretty bad too," noted Gerard. The only reason the Archeops was better-off was because of the natural rejuvenation that had happened with his evolution, healing some of his worst injuries and allowing him to launch a surprise counterattack. "You weren't even near him! They had too many people for us to stick together."

Ogar sighed, placing a paw over his snout, then regretting it when that aggravated one of the scratches on said snout.

"Besides," adds Gerard, "I'm sure Dad will figure out better tactics next time, so we don't get hurt as bad. He seemed really upset when your trainer got burnt like that as well. They surprised us this time, but they won't do it again!"

Ogar stared, then found himself laughing. "Alright, alright. Seems evolution hasn't changed you that much after all, bird."

Gerard looked indignant for a moment, then settled back down. "Let's just wait for them together, alright?"

"Sure," muttered Ogar, settling down the best he could. "Might as well make sure we can see them the instant they get out."

-------------------------------------
"Hey!" screeched Gerard, hurrying over towards Ogar as the Mightyena padded down to breakfast. "What did you say to Dad last night? He looked so upset when he came back to our room, then he got some message on his phone and hurried back out!"

The Mightyena simply inclined his head back up the stairs, showing two pairs of feet descending together. Gerard stared, eyes wide, as Ogar spoke up.

"He came to our room while I was outside guarding the door, and attempted to convince me to let him pass. I didn't even say anything to him, he just responded to the way I was looking at him and yelled out his feelings right there in the hallway." Ogar's tail curled up. "I was about to let him by after that, since I was pretty sure he was being sincere, but he just blushed and ran away. Which only lent further credence to his sincerity."

Gerard had to giggle slightly. "Yeah! I think Dad's been in love with Pops for a while."

Ogar's ears shot up. "Pops?"

"Well, they're dating now, so they're both my parents now, aren't they?" Gerard moved aside to let the two trainers past, he and Ogar both receiving absentminded pats on the head as the couple walked towards breakfast, arms still interlinked.

"Don't you think it's too early to think about that?"

Gerard shrugged his feathers.

"Also," continued Ogar, "please don't use 'Pops' to refer to my trainer."

"Fine...but like I said, I think he's been in love for a while! He's always been trying to act like his friendly gestures don't mean anything serious, but his feelings were totally obvious. Like I told you, he won't break your trainer's heart!"

Ogar sighed. "I could see how happy they both were during that kiss. I suppose I have to admit you were right about his intentions all along."

"Ha!" said Gerard, before leaning in closer. "Wait...you saw their first kiss? You have to tell me what it was like!"

Ogar's ears flattened against his head, and he started loping stiffly towards the dining hall. "I bet they'll kiss in front of you sometime! I'm not describing it to you!"

"Oh, come on! First kisses are special!"

-------------------------------------
Ogar huffed as he sat beside Gerard, in the hallway outside their trainers' shared room. They'd been told to "guard the door," but from the looks the two'd been giving each other he had an idea of what was about to happen in there. His ears were pricked forward, in an attempt to ignore any sound coming from within.

"I'd say I'm surprised it took them this long to take their relationship to that level, but I suppose it's different when he's really in love."

"I told you so!" said Gerard, looking very smug. "Plus, this means you have to let me take point in the next fight."

"Won't that mess up your trainer's plans?"

"He can work around it. I told you, he's flexible!"

Ogar winced at the double-meaning. Despite his best efforts, he could still hear bits and pieces of what was happening in the room behind them. Still...their trainers were happy together. And he would do his best to continue to protect that happiness.
 

Negrek

busy dizzy lazy
Staff
Hey, welcome to the forums! Or to posting on the forums, I've seen you around the Discord server. Thanks for sharing some of your work!

This is a cute one-shot, and a fun idea, looking at the burgeoning relationship between two trainers through the eyes of their pokemon. I especially liked the way that you handled the pokemon's behavior and body language--the way Gerard would express things by fluffing his feathers or Ogar would emote with his tail. They feel like really pokemon characters, with distinctly pokemon focuses (like when Ogar goes on about what he can smell), and really selling the pokemon POV makes the premise of the story stronger. A lot of times people seem to forget that they're writing pokemon and have them blushing or shrugging or whatever, so I love that you obviously took the time to think about how these characters would express themselves and what their priorities would be.

These two also have nicely distinct personalities, and you do a good job of characterizing them even in a short one-shot. Ogar's stern protectiveness and loyalty to his trainer above all certainly seems to fit a mightyena well, and I enjoy Gerard's kind of dithering, flustered personality, which seems really appropriate for a "defeatist" pokemon. It's interesting that we kind of have two layers of relationships going on here: the relationship developing between the two trainers, and also the one between the two pokemon. It's not as simple as Gerard and Ogar not trusting each other and then slowly growing to become friends--I don't know that I would call them friends, really, even at the end--but there's clearly some change in how they understand each other. I suppose, while they aren't necessarily buds, they recognize how much their trainers mean to one another and want to respect that even if they don't really connect on a personal level. It's neat to have that parallel thread running alongside the story of the trainers' relationship; maybe a bit muted compared to that, but still there and interesting.

You also did a nice job of getting across what species Gerard was without explicitly confirming it for most of the story. The fact that he refers to the trainers as his literal parents makes sense, then, because of course he doesn't have biological parents after being resurrected. It's a nice detail that ties in perfectly with his character, and details like that about how the pokemon think or act in pokemon-y ways were some of the highlights of the story for me.

Overall your writing is pretty solid. Only one little typo:

Sure he's good at flirting, but he's always used to to convince people to do things for us!
I think you might be missing a word here. Used *it* to convince?

I'm guessing that this story is kind of a spin-off to an RP, or maybe was a part of that RP as it was going on. At times I did feel like I was missing out on something as a result of not knowing the material you were drawing from there. I was initially a bit confused about the references to a "team," since I was thinking "team of pokemon," but clearly it's a group of trainers working together as a team instead. (I'm guessing not like Team Rocket or similar "teams," but not totally sure.) The reference to everyone getting burned, for example, felt to me like I wasn't understanding the true impact of what had happened because I didn't see the incident itself. Mentions of the scout or Gerard's trainers abilities likewise threw me a bit. But what I would have liked to have seen the most was a little more on the characters of the trainers. People who've participated in or read the RP know all about them, but since I don't, it's a little harder for me to get invested in their relationship. There's a bit in the beginning in particular about Ogar's trainer's enthusiasm for science, and later on Gerard's trainers (psychic, maybe?) abilities, but there's not much at all about their personalities. For a story about characters developing a relationship,

One way to go about this might be to show a little more of how the trainers' new relationship impacts their pokemon. Is Gerard especially happy for his trainer because normally he's kind of awkward and has trouble getting close to people, for example? Is Ogar worried that his trainers' romantic interest might mean that he has less time for his pokemon, that they'll become less close? Exploring the pokemon's hopes or fears about what the trainers' romance means for them might be an opportunity to show us a bit more about these people and why they mean so much to their pokemon. There was a bit of that with Ogar being worried that Gerard's trainer might be a rival to his own, or mean to hurt him, but that's still Ogar reacting to someone he doesn't really know. How does he feel about the changes in his own trainer, someone he knows well? What's this new relationship going to mean for him? I think there's potential there for us to get to know your human characters more, through the eyes of their pokemon.

This is a fun premise, and I really like how you portrayed the pokemon and their behavior. A lot of romance-focused fanfic tends to shove the pokemon characters out of the way, to the point that it often doesn't matter much whether they exist or not, and it was awesome to see that turned on its head in this story. In the end I'd liked to have seen more of your human characters on display alongside the pokemon, but this was a unique way to introduce their story nonetheless.
 

GrayGriffin

Bug Catcher
Pronouns
any
I especially liked the way that you handled the pokemon's behavior and body language--the way Gerard would express things by fluffing his feathers or Ogar would emote with his tail. They feel like really pokemon characters, with distinctly pokemon focuses (like when Ogar goes on about what he can smell), and really selling the pokemon POV makes the premise of the story stronger. A lot of times people seem to forget that they're writing pokemon and have them blushing or shrugging or whatever, so I love that you obviously took the time to think about how these characters would express themselves and what their priorities would be.

Thanks! I really love writing inhuman body language/verbalisations into my work. That's part of the fun about writing nonhumans, after all.

You also did a nice job of getting across what species Gerard was without explicitly confirming it for most of the story. The fact that he refers to the trainers as his literal parents makes sense, then, because of course he doesn't have biological parents after being resurrected. It's a nice detail that ties in perfectly with his character, and details like that about how the pokemon think or act in pokemon-y ways were some of the highlights of the story for me.

Oh, that's good to hear. I realized while writing the opening that I couldn't mention Gerard's species without making it sound awkward, so I ended up trying to put in enough hints to make it more obvious.

I think you might be missing a word here. Used *it* to convince?

Whoops! Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be.

I'm guessing that this story is kind of a spin-off to an RP, or maybe was a part of that RP as it was going on. At times I did feel like I was missing out on something as a result of not knowing the material you were drawing from there.

Yeah, you're right there. It's more of a spin-off, since their relationship didn't get that far in the actual RP. As a matter of fact, it's actually a spin-off of a spin-off, where I wrote a series of fake texts between the two trainers to show the development of their relationship, and the story here is basically showing one section for each set of texts/stage, with a bonus at the end where the duo gets sexiled. I actually ended up choosing to write from the Pokemon perspective because it's easier for me to get a grasp of other people's Pokemon characters than their human ones, so I guess the trainers did get a little shafted there. Out of curiosity, would it have been easier to understand if I used names for some of the other characters? I considered it, but at the same time thought it a little odd that they would use names for other trainers but not their own.

This is a fun premise, and I really like how you portrayed the pokemon and their behavior. A lot of romance-focused fanfic tends to shove the pokemon characters out of the way, to the point that it often doesn't matter much whether they exist or not, and it was awesome to see that turned on its head in this story. In the end I'd liked to have seen more of your human characters on display alongside the pokemon, but this was a unique way to introduce their story nonetheless.

Yeah, I'm thinking there are a few bits I could insert more of the human characters, especially in the campfire scene. That's probably a good opportunity to at least show a bit of the other human team members as well.
 

Negrek

busy dizzy lazy
Staff
A spin-off of a spin-off? I've written things like that for my own fanfic before, haha. Sometimes there's an AU scenario that's too fun not to pursue. Interesting that you say it's easier for you to get a handle on people's pokemon characters rather than their human ones... I imagine for a lot of people it would be the other way around.

Anyhow, I think you're right that it would be weird to use human names for some trainers, but not Gerard or Ogar's. I don't think that it would have changed much for me in any case. I wasn't getting people mixed up, which I think names would help with; since I'm not familiar with the characters anyway, having names to attach to them wouldn't help me get a better feel for them in any case.
 

Umbramatic

The Ghost Lord
Location
The Yangverse
Pronouns
Any
Partners
  1. reshiram
This was really cute! I like the perspective of the two Pokemon and their body language and their opinions of what was going on between both their trainers. The LOUDLY MAKING LOVE scene at the end with them trying to ignore it was funny.

The only real criticism I have is that it's not entirely clear what species Gerard is at first - I honestly guessed Pidgey then Tyrunt at first!

I don't have much else to say because this was pretty short and sweet, but it's definitely cute and I definitely want to see more of your two protagonists.
 

Persephone

Ace Trainer
Pronouns
her/hers
Partners
  1. vulpix-alola
I'm not sure how much left there is to say that others haven't covered. This felt more like an interlude chapter or spinoff to another fic to be sure. I think that, as others have said, just bringing up plot points once in passing (powers, science) is weird if they don't go anywhere. There's the expectation that planting has payoff and all that. I also think that while the two pokemon did develop in their relationship, either a further exploration of their characters or their relationship would've made up for the opaqueness of the curtain to the real story.

I did like how you fit in a fair bit of development early on tho. I missed the "rocky jaw" line my first read so I didn't get archen from it, but the detail didn't really matter much. Also, am a sucker for pokemon POV and body language and all that. Prose was good and uh. I'm blanking on more to say. Was an enjoyable short read. Interested in seeing you tackle something longer.
 

NebulaDreams

Ace Trainer
Partners
  1. luxray
Alright, so I actually read this a while ago and wanted to give my thoughts on it, but forgot to post a proper review until now. But this was definitely a cute one-shot, both in its concept and in its execution. The main idea of two Pokemon observing their trainers' relationships was fun, and it also made for a clever storytelling device, particularly, conveying what's happening through a lot of subtext and implied events. The reactions of the two Pokemon was the main sticking point for me, since I love reading Pokemon fics from the perspective of the Pokemon here, and it delivered, since they had a good idea of what was going on, but from inhuman viewpoints, especially with the body language of the feathers and whatnot. Gerard in particular was adorable, mainly because of how he referred to his trainer as Dad.

To be honest, the fic did have me wondering what was going on. It seemed more like something that happened in the middle of another story rather than being a standalone one-shot. It worked well enough without knowing the characters, but it also left me feeling like I should've seen more to it. Not just in seeing more of the characters, but also more of this concept, since I think you were onto something here. I'm also not sure about how much agency the Pokemon really have in terms of how they react to their trainers or what their place is in the outside world. Judging from the reactions, they're clearly intelligent, yet they don't seem to have much sway over their trainers' actions. It might've been more fun to see them try to steer the relationships of the two trainers closer. I do also like it for its opaqueness though, since the Pokemon either do understand what their trainers are saying or just go by the emotions they display about it, judging by how Ogar reacted guarding the door near the end.

But anyway, this was a nice read and it'll be interesting to see more of what you have to offer.
 
Top Bottom