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Hey, uA! Good timing on your update--I was literally about to say screw it and read it anyway right before you posted, lol. I thought you did a nice job in a couple areas in particular: a) playing with sentence structure to match heightened emotions b) pulling in sensory detail and c) showing...

Lots of nice descriptive passages here. Really drives home the surreal horror but also the excitement (and anxiety) your characters are feeling. *Cool-down I guess that might be a local colloquialism though. Throughout, you’ve got meaning first and then descriptions of the signs, and I think...

Aww, Cat you did a great job! This immediately tells us a lot about Fuji. I’d swap the period for a colon. I think I agree with Pen about the paragraph breaks in that one segment. Funny, because I’m usually nudging people to break up paragraphs more haha. Aside from that, the prose generally...