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I had hoped to read more Drowning during Review Blitz ... but I didn't manage to read as much as I wanted to! So I'm here now instead. Saw you're back in action on Discord and thought this would be a good way to say welcome back. ;) Lots to like in Chapter 15! I'll just start with line-by-lines...

Here for Chapter 14! Some line reactions at the top and some expanded thoughts at the bottom. I would love to see more body language cues right here! (Minus 1/2) Oh, it's going down. It wasn't clear here whether she's remembering something that happened to her or if her empath abilities (not...

Responding to the bonus chapter! There were quite a few beats here that I thought worked well. I think overall the writing has been stronger in the more recent chapters. Here we see Tabitha being surprisingly kind. Tea! I kinda wanted to know what kind of tea he pulled together. Is this, like...

Chapter 13 flows well overall! I appreciate the moments of guilt vs duty from Tabitha for obvious reasons haha. Nice to get a glimpse at what’s going on with the other side here. Hmmmm Tabitha’s trust and loyalty seem to be straining! 👀

Chapter 12! Slowly catching up on my backlog! This feels redundant. If they’re getting directions for tomorrow, I think that = getting ready for tomorrow. I don’t have a good sense how bad her injury is. It does seem like she’s doing a lot on an injured leg, which is probably preventing it...

Here for Chapter 11! It’s been 300 years! 👵🏻🙌🏻 The way these ideas are broken up is a little odd. Suggestion: Maressa felt a slight twinge of guilt at forgetting to pay respect to her superior. But she pushed the feeling aside and stepped forward. ! This deserves more attention, I’d say...

Responding to Chapter 10! Nice to get a glimpse of your Archie so soon after finishing my Archie chapter! Sounds like she just keeps getting herself in deeper despite her doubts. Swum I’m not opposed to adverbs as a general rule, but in this case I do feel like your verbs are already doing so...

I’ve fallen so behind! Glad Catnip gave me an excuse to get back on it.💪 Nice to see Maressa starting to process some of her doubts. She’s got big decisions to make. Aww, she misses them so much. This jumped out at me as a strange assumption. I’d frame it more in terms of what she had...

Responding to Chapter 8! Nice details here. This passage has a lot of descriptors that too me feel like they’re more cluttered than they are specific. I think you could drop quite a few adjectives and adverbs and it would read better: Wisps of blonde hair floated in front of her face as the...

Finally getting caught up! I think a little more of Derek’s thoughts here would’ve clarified that these are the life rafts. I didn’t make that connection at first—it felt like a non sequitur—and I don’t think that was a useful ambiguity. This thread is interesting. It’s the first time we’ve...

Hey, doesn’t matter the source. Real life is real life, and it makes its demands. Wishing you the best with everything you have going on all the same. Sadly, haven’t finished writing her scenes yet. So ... no rush, lol. Ha! Oh man, then I apologize! I’m clearly projecting. That’s a weight off...

I didn’t expect you to open with a Derek perspective, but I thought that scene worked really well. Might be one my favorite in the fic so far. We’ve gotten a few other perspectives, but this is the first time we’ve gotten to see Maressa from the outside. Seems like Magma, similarly to Aqua...

Responding to, uh, your responses and will come back for the chapter itself soon. Yeah things are INTENSE in the world right now. Please take care of yourself. Also—no worries there because I think you did comment on the most recent Divides, unless im misremembering. 🙃 It’s that and ... I got...

Maressa's in a tight spot, and--oof--without any of her pokemon! Sounds like she's on course to get back home ... but the damage will have been done. Some degree of trust has been broken. I get why you cut away, but the scene with Sarah was harder for me to get into because I'm not invested in...

Yeah, there's definitely something to be said for skipping to the parts you're excited about. If You're not feeling it, likely the reader isn't either. In this case, I was surprised not to see at least part of it though. Yeah, I've been on zero dives, so I clearly have no idea what I'm talking...

Oh that took a direction I didn't expect! I'm excited to see Maressa in physical peril in a way that can't be simply fixed with pokemon. I am wondering where her other pokemon are, but I'm curious to see how she'll handle this situation on her own. Some other thoughts: Hahaha. Hoenn's hot...

Oh yeah I totally get that — there’s nothing wrong with still enjoying an old fic or with knowing when to leave it alone and let it be what it is. Taking advice for future stories is a great attitude to have about it. I relate deeply to this too haha. Some of my current writing habits...

How fun — seems like we’re working with a similar premise, based on that interaction between Maressa and Tabitha. 👀 Very different approaches though! It’ll be interesting to see how our stories diverge and/or converge. We’ve both got a Mark, but mine is not in Aqua, so that gave me a jolt and a...