• Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!

    Join now!

Pokémon The Makings of a Hero

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Howdy, this is my first work I'm posting on Thousand Roads, just a short little read but I did put a fair amount of time into it. I hope you all enjoy!

Summary: A Litwick named Vix traveled into a dungeon in search of an answer to a simple question, but ended up getting so much more than she bargained for.

Violence, Minor Language, Mentions of Death

 
Last edited:

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter One: A Convenient Storm

This was basically suicide, no sane Pokemon would willingly venture through a mystery dungeon, just to climb up a cursed mountain for a question. There had to have been better ways to get an answer, ways better suited to not risk prematurely and permanently put out the purple flame of this Litwick, but Vix was never keen on thinking up those alternatives when she needed them.

She stared up at the jagged, rocky face she had to climb. An ominous, ghostly glow surrounded her, and she began to carefully scale the mountainside, conserving as much energy as possible. "I got this, just one final stretch..!"

Along with her trusty satchel, Vix overcame many hardships, some you wouldn't think an adolescent could have handled by themself, but now have to deal with a soon-to-be-diminished food supply and a very tall mountain to climb. She was past the point of no return, mostly because she was right there and it would probably take more energy to go back.

Traversing the stones protruding from the cliff face was simple: float up a couple feet, try not to look down, land, don't look back, and repeat. So simple even a Magikarp could fumble around and manage it.

As Vix traveled further up, the terrain grew less friendly to her. Smoother, more angled rocks, spaced further and further apart, coupled with a growing tiredness and hunger, meant more energy used between and even after jumps. Her waxy body ached, and her flame flickered more and more. It was a miracle she found any kindling to snack on after she ran out of charcoal, but she was out of luck in terms of replenishing her ghostly abilities, meaning she'd have to rest as soon as possible.

"Hah... How did anyone... climb up this thing?!" the candle exclaimed, finding a small crevice to hunker down in. It certainly didn't scream home, as it was only big enough to fit her fragile body in with a little bit of wiggle room for it to be inhabitable. To make such a swell situation even better, it started to rain. Now there was no way she'd risk going outside, and from the looks of it, she'd have to wait a while for it to clear up.

"Dang it, I'm gonna lose so much time," Vix sighed, melting a tad to better fit in the hideaway. In her bag was a notebook, pencil, and crumbs of charcoal, hardly enough for the rest of the way up. She'd be reliant on any kindling or fuel she could find, if any.

Despite all the trouble she was going through, Vix didn't once think about going back, not yet. This was important to her, this one, silly little question. No one back home could answer it, they all thought in absolutes, either good or bad, right or wrong, Evil or Just. And they were superficial to boot.

The two Vix set out to find were both denied entry to her village simply because they were wearing tattered, bloodied cloaks, but sported no visible injuries. It was painfully obvious that it wasn't their own, but... Vix never thought that they were bad because of that. A black and red fox and a Bisharp, whether they were exiles, criminals, or nomads, came to her village for help, and were denied it.

While Vix was mostly optimistic about the two strangers, her hunch was supported by what happened later that same day. Bandits rolled into town, the same ones that did every week, demanding payment for allowing their "hopeless, run-down, ghost of a town," as they called it, stand. It wasn't like they could refuse, those bandits were powerful Fire Types, and this village had mostly Grass Types, there wasn't really much they could do.

So, after those bandits finished taking all their money and valuables, they went through the mystery dungeon, which was already weird, seeing how they normally just go back the way they came. The day went on, everyone was sad, but after a few hours... the bandit leader, a Magmortar, came back, alone. He was terrified, looking as if he had barely escaped death. He had carried back everything his group had taken, and swore to never bother them again.

Everyone else thought that it was because of the cursed mountain, but Vix had a feeling that it was more than just that. Some time later and more bandits showed up, demanding more of their belongings, but just like before, they'd leave for a while, then the leader would come right back and return everything!

It's been a few weeks since those strangers appeared, and while they haven't been seen since then, Vix would bet her life on them being the ones stopping the bandits, which just so happens to be what she's doing right now. Go figure.

Tired, hungry, and with her only option being to wait out the storm, Vix took out her notebook and pencil and began to scribble notes in it.

'Day, uh... two, I think? Maybe three, it's hard to tell how long I slept in the forest. Wild Shiinotic are very territorial, as it turns out. I'm lucky they just put me to sleep and left…'

'I kinda wish I stocked up on firewood while I was there, though. I was so caught up in getting out of there once I woke that I forgot how low I was getting. Besides, I had plenty for a couple more days, I thought... then I found that river and almost lost everything. Arceus herself must be watching over me, what are the odds that I would wash up in the same place as my precious little carry on? It would be nice if I could get some help up here, but that's what happens when I say I'm adventuring alone. I go alone, and hope to return alone. Hindsight is always 20/20, but what good is that? An adventurer moves forward, so why bother looking back so much?'

'Anyway, once this rain passes, I'll continue upwards and onwards. This is important for me, and only me it seems. No one else would have gone through half the trouble I am for those two. If they can't give me an answer, I'll at least be able to thank them on my village's behalf.'

'...Ace is gonna give me so much shit when I get back.'

Vix smiled, reading over the events of the days prior, remembering the thrill they brought, and reveling in the mystery for what was ahead. Now, she was so close to the end of her little quest. Either she'd make it to the top and find the strangers, or die trying.

She really hoped it wouldn't come to that second thing, though.

At some point, Vix dozed off, the sounds of wind and rain lulling her to sleep. It was relaxing, as long as she didn't think about the hundreds of feet of rock below her, waiting for a simple mistake from her to coat them in ghastly wax.

<><><><>​

Some hours later, a loud, earth-shaking crack of thunder jolted her awake. It felt like the mountain itself was about to crumble! Curious about what was going on, Vix peaked her head (head being most of her body) out the crevice. It was pouring outside, making it almost impossible to see anything other than rain and darkness. Rivers of water cascaded down the mountainside, the wind roared like a mighty beast. Was it nighttime? How long was she out? How did it get this bad so quickly?

None of these were answered, instead another question popped into mind as another bolt of lightning from above struck the mountain, and the sound of rocks shattering and falling filled her head.

'Am I safe?' she thought, solidifying herself into her candle-like shape. The walls around her shook, water sprayed in from the entrance; it was becoming apparent that she might want to get outta there. But where would she go? Climb further up and get struck by lightning, or caught in the flowing water, or crushed by falling rocks? Or go back down and hope she could move faster than everything falling above her?

She'd have to act fast, water was beginning to fill her resting place. Vix was able to get back a good amount of energy, but it would be foolish to assume she could get all the way up in this weather.

"Okay, let's do this! I can make it!" Vix pumped herself up, an eerie purple glow around her. What was her plan? Make it to the top. How would she do it? Blind faith and dumb luck.

Peeking her head out, her violet flame flickering violently in the hurricane winds, Vix tried to map out her path to victory. There was hardly any of the mountain visible at this point, but there was a rock close enough that she might actually be able to reach! And just past it, the blurry outline of another rock she could reach! Things were looking up already!

"Okay, just gotta jump, one rock at a time... Like putting one foot in front of the other, er, one... candle stump, hop…" Vix shook her head. "Whatever, the point is this is gonna be easy!"

Hesitance be damned, Vix took the jump before she could remember the danger she'd be in if she failed. The winds were astronomically more powerful than she gave them credit for, steering her off course the moment she jumped up, but she was able to work against it long enough to land where she planned! The sensation of cold, wet stone had never been so comfortable!

"I-I did it! I actually did it!" she cheered, eyes now set on her next destination. Huge raindrops battered her wax body, leaving indents as they hit. It took a good amount of focus to keep herself together, but she eventually gave up on it and brought her attention back to the task at hand. If she could get to one rock in this weather, then she could make it to the top!

It was a bit harder to aim, being in the rain and all, but the moment Vix believed she was able to make it, she took that chance and leapt upwards. The roaring winds protested against her, demanding she fall, and the torrential downpour beat on her so furiously, it was like she was melting, but once again she landed on her mark, and again basked in the joy of progress.

'Just a few more!' Vix encouraged herself, determined to make it. Two successful jumps, and only a "few" left. The mountain, seemingly hearing her hope to make it to the top, decided to shake and rumble again, despite not getting struck again. Vix hugged herself along the wall, nearly dousing herself in the water rushing down it. Her flame going out wouldn't be a big issue, but it would sting, and she'd have a harder time concentrating, but it'd be better to deal with a minor hiccup than a major mistake.

Once the rumbling stopped, Vix went back to it, aiming for the next rock, jumping for it, and continuing on. She got into a good enough moment that all that had to be done before a jump was catch her breath.

Vix was able to climb up two stones before the already bad situation got worse. As she landed, she slipped, stumbling forward and falling on the rock. It was cumbersome, to say the least, but she was unable to stand back up easily. More and more rain fell, and just about everything got more and more slippery as a result, leaving Vix to hug the stone beneath her to stay on. Fear crawled up her back, this was starting to look bad, and her not moving allowed her brain to realize that. Looking on the brighter side, however, this wasn't so bad. Her grip was firm, and she no longer had to worry about her flame going out, so all Vix needed to do was hold on and keep herself physically together.

However, the storm wasn't done with her just yet. A sudden, blinding flash of lightning, followed by a mighty crack of thunder, leading up to a powerful explosion behind Vix. The bolt struck her platform, her temporary safe place, her moment of reprieve. Everything below her shattered into bits and pieces, and her mentality along with it.

All that bravado, all that hope, gone in an instant. She couldn't get herself to float, her mind was clouded by an overwhelming fear. For the first time in a long while, Vix felt bitterly cold. The world below was calling, drawing her close, and Vix couldn't do anything about it but scream. This adventure she forced upon herself, was about to meet its end. No one knew she was here, no one knew to save her, and no one would likely find her. That last thought, scared her most of all. She'd be gone, erased from this world, with the whimper of a failed explorer, rather than the bang of a successful adventurer.

Ghastly-purple tears blended with the rain washing across Vix's face. She still couldn't believe this was it, the end. Falling from a mountain after getting blown off by a lightning bolt in the middle of a storm, such a fantastical way to go out, but the fact that it would be hers was... heartbreaking for her. Any future adventures she could have had, all the good times that would have awaited her, everything her and Ace, her Chespin compadre, could have experienced... now just, gone. The entire rest of her story was taken away from her. Or maybe her story already wrapped up, and this was how the book closed off.

Any peace Vix tried to find as she plummeted to the cold, unfeeling earth, wouldn't come to her. It was too much to accept, that either this was all planned, or she'll miss out on everything else. But what could she do now? Trying to make it easier on herself, Vix shut her eyes tightly, and allowed the storm to break her apart, thinking it might help.

'Th-This is unbelievable... I can't... oh Arceus, why? Why did I do this alone? I didn't even tell anyone, and look at where that got me…'

Sobs shook Vix's body, drowned out by the raging storm. While not at peace, she fell and cried in regretful silence. She must have been close to the bottom by now, the suspense was dreadful. Just let it happen already…

Something further below popped, or broke, and moments later, all of Vix's momentum was reversed. She was grabbed by something, and whatever or whoever it was, was bringing her back up the mountain. The speed they were ascending was too much for her to move, so she couldn't see anything other than a black figure's body.

Nearing the summit, the figure made a sudden turn into a cave, and then stopped abruptly once they got inside. The figure was... warm, and soft too. It took her a moment to realize that she was being cradled like a baby, but she hardly seemed bothered by it. Vix looked up at who was holding her, seeing black and grey fur and spiky, crimson hair. There was a tattered cloak around his shoulders, and a worried face staring right back at her. It was... vaguely familiar, to say the least.

"You alright?" he asked, and everything started to click. That voice, she remembered it! It was one of those two strangers! He saved her! HE saved HER! She didn't need to come finding them, they found her!

There was so much she wanted to say, so much to ask! This was a Pokemon she'd never even seen before, and here he was, cradling her with the care of a parent holding their child! Vix tried to say something, anything, nothing came out. The adrenaline had already started to fade. Her eyes felt heavy, adamant on closing, and her body felt like it was melting into the fox's tender grasp.

"H-Hey! Are you tired?! Say something!" the fox exclaimed, but Vix was already drifting away. His words blended together in her head, turning into a sort of lullaby to further her into sleep.

<><><><>​

"... go back by herself," a cold, stern voice drew Vix from her slumber. She groggily solidified, rubbing her eyes and yawning. It sounded like people arguing.

"She nearly died out there! We can't do that to her!"

Yep, definitely arguing. It took a moment or two for Vix's eyes to see clearly, revealing to her the spacious cave she resided in. There was so much room, and boxes full of berries and other items lined the walls, and a tunnel leading further in, but it was too dark to see anything within it. Looking down, a fancy pillow cushioned Vix, decorated in red and black stripes. A fire in the middle of the room illuminated it all, including the two strangers she risked her life to see. They didn't seem to notice her waking just yet.

"Why do you want to waste time bringing her back? The villagers will still refuse us," the metal one said, a Bisharp, if Vix remembered correctly. He was taller than she had imagined, and bulkier too. An air of authority surrounded him, and it only took one look between the two to tell that this Bisharp was the one in charge.

"I don't care about that! She's already been through hell trying to get here, sending her back by herself would get her killed!" the fox retorted. It was a bit harder to tell what he was, while Bisharps are rare, Vix could at least say she read about them before. And it's not like she'd forget such an extravagant looking Pokemon either, what with the short, scarlet hair, matching crimson claws, and jet-black and grey fur. The fox had a far more gentle feel to him, despite his look being equally intimidating to the Bisharp.

"You act as if you weren't going to follow her back anyway, like you did when she was on her way here. Were you expecting me to not notice you suddenly wanting to go explore the forest dungeon everyday?" the Bisharp scoffed, crossing his arms. "You once came back nearly dead with the stench of fairy aura all over you, and you can't play it up as you forgetting about those annoying mushrooms, we already had a run in with them, you aren't that idiotic."

"Ok, fine, I helped her get here, but what else was I supposed to do? Let her be attacked by those berserkers, or let her drown in that river?" the fox admitted

Something then clicked in Vix's mind. All those times she was in danger, she assumed it was her being fortunate or lucky, but to have such close calls, right after each other? It always felt a little far fetched, and now she had a real answer. This stranger was acting as her guardian angel the entire time. A small smile grew on Vix's candle wax face, she knew these two were kindhearted, not the criminals the villagers thought them out to be.

"If you were so adamant on protecting her, how the hell did she get blown off this mountain, in the middle of a raging storm, in the first goddamn place?!" a stomp of metallic greaves punctuated the Bisharp's anger, startling both Vix and the fox. "Explain yourself! What happened?!"

"I-I… I wanted to see how far she'd get…" the fox's voice wavered and his body sank. "She made it halfway, I believed she could make it…"

The Bisharp let out a sigh, irritated, but understanding. "Once the storm came in, you should have assisted her sooner. Your negligence would have gotten her killed, and if anyone realized she hadn't come back yet, they'd start searching. Who do you think would have been blamed for her death?"

A grim silence fell upon them, the fox didn't need to say the answer, and Vix knew it too. They'd be the first ones the village would suspect, and these two would be greatly outnumbered. The Bisharp glanced Vix's way for the first time, her deep purple eyes meeting his fiery red. He shut his eyes and cleared his throat.

"It would seem that our guest has awoken. Hopefully not from my outburst a moment ago," the Bisharp said, motioning towards the Litwick. "Forgive us and our little... disagreement."

The fox turned his head, a relieved look washing over him. "I knew you'd be ok! I was worried for a little bit, you started melting, a-and your eyes were closing, I couldn't tell if you were falling asleep or..." his smile wavered for a moment. "I-I'm just glad you're alright!"

Vix was astounded, really. They were absolutely nothing like the village imagined, almost the complete opposite. It took her a moment to find the right words to say, there were so many to pick from.

"Um, thank you." Her voice was more shy than she would have liked. They were still somewhat unnerving to look at, one was covered in blades with an axehead practically sticking out of his head, and the other was built like a beast with huge claws and his sharp teeth that could be seen every time his mouth opened. The contrast between their looks and how they acted was jarring, to say the least.

"How are you feeling? That storm was more than strong enough to damage you, from the looks of it," the Bisharp asked, taking a gentler tone than earlier.

"I'm... good. It didn't hurt all that bad, really," Vix answered, hopping off of the pillow.

"That's a relief. You hungry?" The fox offered an oran berry, fresh and ripe. Vix hesitated for a moment before grabbing the fruit. It was just barely smaller than her, causing her to stumble when the fox let go. The other two pulled out a berry of their own, a lum berry for the fox and a rawst berry for the Bisharp.

Vix was still at a loss of what to really say to the pair, she was still finding this all kind of hard to believe, actually. Not only was she right about where the two went, but also that the village greatly misunderstood them! They might've had a rough first impression, but they deserved a second chance! And, even more importantly, they might be able to answer her question.

Assuming she'd get the courage to ask it.

"Hey," the Bisharp got Vix's attention. "I would like to believe you have a name, correct? Mine is Eera."

"Oh right, I'm Castiss!" a bright, friendly smile from the fox followed his introduction.

"My name is Vix, pleasure meeting you," some comfort rose inside Vix as the two introduced themselves. She took a bite out of her oran, relishing the flavor within it. Then, like a starved Pokemon finding their first bit of food in days, she began to devour the defenseless berry. An oran had never tasted so delicious! Was it even an oran? It might've been some super-oran that she'd never been able to eat before!

"The pleasure is ours, Vix," Eera nodded, chuckling lightly at the sight of the Litwick devouring the berry. "If you don't mind us prying, why is it that you tried to climb this mountain?"

"Yeah, and why by yourself? Any mystery dungeon can be dangerous, and this mountain is right in the middle of one," Castiss added, finishing his berry in one bite.

Vix finished her oran before speaking; it was too good to not eat in one sitting. Plus, she had a lot more energy now, and was actually able to say what she wanted. "I thought this would be where you two were. It was awful to watch you both get kicked out so easily, and I wanted to say sorry on everyone's behalf, even if they still haven't warmed up to you guys yet."

"Us?" Castiss tilted his head, hung up on that part of her explanation.

"You risked your life to apologize, to us?" Eera raised a brow, or the equivalent of that, since Vix couldn't tell if he even had eyebrows. "That is a lot of risk for something so... trivial."

"Well, there's more to it than just that..." Vix cleared her throat. "I wanted to ask if it was you that took care of our bandit problem too. Those thugs have been at our throats for years, but the day you two appeared, they started returning everything they stole and running away with their tails between their legs!"

Castiss and Eera looked at each other for a moment, then the former snickered and turned back to her. The fox was about to speak, when Eera suddenly cut in before him.

"Sorry, we don't know anything about the bandits. We've just been up here and in the dungeon since we arrived," Eera said, his eyes shut and his arms crossed. Castiss pouted, glaring at the Bisharp.

"R-Really?" Vix melted slightly. "I thought... but, who else could it have been? None of us would stand a chance against those guys!"

Castiss was about to speak again, but not before getting a death glare from his companion. The fox rolled his eyes, ignoring the silent warning.

"It was us! You're a pretty good guesser!" Castiss snickered, getting an oran chucked at his head by Eera.

Vix didn't seem to care, she was right again! She was so overjoyed at her success so far that she barely noticed the other two fighting, or maybe didn't care. With a purple glow, Vix floated over to the wrestling pair, accidentally distracting Castiss enough for Eera to pin him down.

"That means you guys are heroes!" Vix cheered, getting both of their attention. "You're heroes, I knew it! So you can help me!"

Castiss and Eera looked at each other, then back to the Litwick. Their expressions faltered for a moment, but they still wanted to hear her out. She did come all the way out here for this, it'd be rude to decline her request, they felt.

"Ok… what is it?" Eera asked, still keeping Castiss pinned on the ground.

A bright, cheerful look shined on Vix, her flame dancing excitedly on top of her head. Her question, the one she risked her life to ask, was finally going to be answered! It was almost too good to be true! After taking a moment to curb her energy, Vix finally asked,

"What does it mean to be a Hero?"
 
Last edited:

Negrek

Play the Rain
Staff
Glad to see you posting this! Congrats on finishing up your edits, and I hope your work on future chapters goes well.

I'll admit, I did a bit of a double take at the "short little read" comment in the first post followed by a list of chapters, heh. But it's neat; I almost always see epic-length PMD fics, or occasionally one-shots, so a shorter chaptered story set in that world is a real rarity. I'm curious what sort of story you're going to tell that's too big for a one-shot but not big enough for 65+ chapters!

I like how we got right into the action here, with Vix already engaged with her mission and having to fight hard to make it happen. I thought you did a good job of setting the scene of the perilous and miserable mountain climb, with the dark and the rain and the raging wind. I was a little weirded out, though; if Vix is a ghost and can go ethereal, why did she even keep falling after she'd stopped taking physical form? How would hitting the ground even hurt her?

Probably the most fun was Vix herself, though! She's super cute; I enjoyed her upbeat attitude and the little details you gave about her eating charcoal and having to worry about running out of fuel. I guess this is a litwick who doesn't eat by sucking out other people's souls! All your characters in this chapter are cute, really; the comraderie between the zoroark and bisharp at the end is obvious, and it's clear why Vix took to them immediately.

I do kind of wish we'd learned what Vix's question was a bit earlier on. It makes perfect sense to reveal it at the end of the chapter here, giving some fitting closure to the first chapter while also providing a hook into the next. I think it might have been more effective, though, to make it less of a secret and lean a bit more into *why* Vix was willing to risk so much to get her question answered. Why does the concept of heroism or being a hero mean so much to her? Why does she feel like no one in her village can help her with that?

I'm still wondering that now, of course! There's still lots to discover about Vix in the upcoming chapters, and I'm sure we'll learn more about her as time goes on. I'm curious what direction this story will go in... Some kind of small adventure, I'm guessing, based on the chapter titles. Looking forward to meeting Vix's chespin friend.

I have some additional grammar corrections/sentence nitpicks under the spoiler, but this was a fun opener! Good luck with your writing.

One thing to watch out for in your writing are run-on sentences. These occur when you have multiple complete sentences tied together with a comma. The first sentence of the story is one:

This was basically suicide, no sane Pokemon would willingly venture through a mystery dungeon, just to climb up a cursed mountain for a question.

"This was basically suicide" is a sentence, and so is "No sane pokémon [...] for a question." Since they're full sentences, they should be denoted by the usual period and capital letter, rather than just a comma. Run-ons tend to get long and can get hard to follow, since they cram in a lot of information; they sound sort of "breathless" to a person reading along. Here are a couple more examples:

It wasn’t like they could refuse, those bandits were powerful Fire Types, and this village had mostly Grass Types, there wasn’t really much they could do.
This is actually three sentences: "It wasn't like they could refuse," "There wasn't really much they could do," and the middle one about types. Again, you want to split these up with periods.

She’d have to act fast, water was beginning to fill her resting place.
This is a straightforward, easy one. Should be. "She'd have to act fast. Water was beginning to fill her resting place."

Also, you usually do a good job with your dialogue punctuation. Usually it's correct to not capitalize the first letter after a piece of dialogue, since it's often part of a dialogue tag. However, if what follows dialogue is some piece of action unrelated to how the word was said and can stand as a complete sentence, it should actually be capitalized. So here:

“If you were so adamant on protecting her, how the hell did she get blown off this mountain, in the middle of a raging storm, in the first goddamn place?!” a stomp of metallic greaves punctuated the Bisharp’s anger, startling both Vix and the fox.
The stomping happens after the dialogue and isn't related to it. It should be "A stomp of metallic greaves..."

“I was worried for a little bit, you started melting, a-and your eyes were closing, I couldn’t tell if you were falling asleep or...” his smile wavered for a moment.
"His smile wavered" should be capitalized.

“I-I… I wanted to see how far she’d get…” the fox’s voice wavered and his body sank.
Here again it should be "The fox's voice wavered."

There had to have been better ways to get an answer, ways better suited to not risk prematurely and permanently put out the purple flame of this Litwick, but Vix was never privy to thinking up those alternatives when she needed them.
I think you mean "prone" here, rather than "privy." Or something like "she never tended to think up those alternatives..." would work better.

Along with her trusty satchel, Vix overcame many hardships, some you wouldn’t think an adolescent could have handled by themself, but now have to deal with a soon-to-be-diminished food supply and a very tall mountain to climb.
I would love more detail here! A couple examples of the hardships Vix has endured would make this sentence more concrete and vibrant.

It’s been a few weeks since those strangers appeared, and while they haven’t been seen since then, Vix would bet her life on them being the ones stopping the bandits, which just so happens to be what she’s doing right now.
Your tenses get weird here.

Curious about what was going on, Vix peaked her head (head being most of her body) out the crevice.
*peeked, although it's a cute image.

She got into a good enough moment that all that had to be done before a jump was catch her breath.
Moment? Maybe you mean something like "rhythm?"

It was too much to accept, that either this was all planned, or she’ll miss out on everything else.

This was a Pokemon she’d never even seen before, and here he was, cradling her with the care of a parent holding their child! Vix tried to say something, anything, nothing came out.

Looking down, a fancy pillow cushioned Vix, decorated in red and black stripes.
Here it's *the pillow* looking down, not Vix. "Vix looked down. A fancy pillow cushioned her, decorated in red and black stripes," would be one way to fix it.

It was a little weird to have Vix identify one of her saviors as a bisharp "if she remembered correctly" when earlier she recalled the travelers as straight-up "a bisharp" and a black-and-red fox; it didn't seem like she was uncertain about the bisharp's species before.
 

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Glad to see you posting this! Congrats on finishing up your edits, and I hope your work on future chapters goes well.

I'll admit, I did a bit of a double take at the "short little read" comment in the first post followed by a list of chapters, heh. But it's neat; I almost always see epic-length PMD fics, or occasionally one-shots, so a shorter chaptered story set in that world is a real rarity. I'm curious what sort of story you're going to tell that's too big for a one-shot but not big enough for 65+ chapters!

I like how we got right into the action here, with Vix already engaged with her mission and having to fight hard to make it happen. I thought you did a good job of setting the scene of the perilous and miserable mountain climb, with the dark and the rain and the raging wind. I was a little weirded out, though; if Vix is a ghost and can go ethereal, why did she even keep falling after she'd stopped taking physical form? How would hitting the ground even hurt her?

Probably the most fun was Vix herself, though! She's super cute; I enjoyed her upbeat attitude and the little details you gave about her eating charcoal and having to worry about running out of fuel. I guess this is a litwick who doesn't eat by sucking out other people's souls! All your characters in this chapter are cute, really; the comraderie between the zoroark and bisharp at the end is obvious, and it's clear why Vix took to them immediately.

I do kind of wish we'd learned what Vix's question was a bit earlier on. It makes perfect sense to reveal it at the end of the chapter here, giving some fitting closure to the first chapter while also providing a hook into the next. I think it might have been more effective, though, to make it less of a secret and lean a bit more into *why* Vix was willing to risk so much to get her question answered. Why does the concept of heroism or being a hero mean so much to her? Why does she feel like no one in her village can help her with that?

I'm still wondering that now, of course! There's still lots to discover about Vix in the upcoming chapters, and I'm sure we'll learn more about her as time goes on. I'm curious what direction this story will go in... Some kind of small adventure, I'm guessing, based on the chapter titles. Looking forward to meeting Vix's chespin friend.

I have some additional grammar corrections/sentence nitpicks under the spoiler, but this was a fun opener! Good luck with your writing.

One thing to watch out for in your writing are run-on sentences. These occur when you have multiple complete sentences tied together with a comma. The first sentence of the story is one:



"This was basically suicide" is a sentence, and so is "No sane pokémon [...] for a question." Since they're full sentences, they should be denoted by the usual period and capital letter, rather than just a comma. Run-ons tend to get long and can get hard to follow, since they cram in a lot of information; they sound sort of "breathless" to a person reading along. Here are a couple more examples:


This is actually three sentences: "It wasn't like they could refuse," "There wasn't really much they could do," and the middle one about types. Again, you want to split these up with periods.


This is a straightforward, easy one. Should be. "She'd have to act fast. Water was beginning to fill her resting place."

Also, you usually do a good job with your dialogue punctuation. Usually it's correct to not capitalize the first letter after a piece of dialogue, since it's often part of a dialogue tag. However, if what follows dialogue is some piece of action unrelated to how the word was said and can stand as a complete sentence, it should actually be capitalized. So here:


The stomping happens after the dialogue and isn't related to it. It should be "A stomp of metallic greaves..."


"His smile wavered" should be capitalized.


Here again it should be "The fox's voice wavered."


I think you mean "prone" here, rather than "privy." Or something like "she never tended to think up those alternatives..." would work better.


I would love more detail here! A couple examples of the hardships Vix has endured would make this sentence more concrete and vibrant.


Your tenses get weird here.


*peeked, although it's a cute image.


Moment? Maybe you mean something like "rhythm?"

It was too much to accept, that either this was all planned, or she’ll miss out on everything else.

This was a Pokemon she’d never even seen before, and here he was, cradling her with the care of a parent holding their child! Vix tried to say something, anything, nothing came out.


Here it's *the pillow* looking down, not Vix. "Vix looked down. A fancy pillow cushioned her, decorated in red and black stripes," would be one way to fix it.

It was a little weird to have Vix identify one of her saviors as a bisharp "if she remembered correctly" when earlier she recalled the travelers as straight-up "a bisharp" and a black-and-red fox; it didn't seem like she was uncertain about the bisharp's species before.

________________

Thanks for reading, the things you pointed are we helpful and I already went ahead and fixed them. I am beyond glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and I hope I can continue to entertain with the later ones. This is my first time getting a review and responding to it in a forum format, which was pretty exciting!

I think I'll have to look out for run-ons in the later chapters too, I was about to the second chapter until I realized you left a review. It's a good thing I read through it, hehe.
 

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter Two: Reckless Abandon


Vix’s question hung in the air for a little bit, and a nervous look fell upon the Litwick. Was this too strange a question? Maybe she got too far ahead of herself; she basically just met these two after all. Before Vix could retract the question, Eera got off of Castiss and faced her.

“Hm... I don’t believe that question has an answer we can easily provide,” Eera hummed, crossing his arms. “‘Hero’ is far too broad a title for any one or two people to properly answer.”

“You came to the wrong people for that,” Castiss bluntly answered, his gentleness replaced by an icy, somber look. “If you’re looking for heroes, you’d have better luck finding one among those bandits.”

Vix flinched, startled by Castiss’ sudden tonal shift. Eera shut his eyes and remained silent, thinking to himself.

“Wh-What do you mean? You saved me several times, and you’ve been saving us from those bandits!” Vix exclaimed, floating closer to the fox. “How are you not heroes?!”

More silence fell as Castiss looked at Vix, emotionless. His gaze felt unnatural, and the longer they stared at each other, the more she realized just how much he towered over her. It was like Castiss shifted into an entirely different person, one more befitting of his frightful appearance.

“Might I ask why you want to know this?” Eera finally cut the deathly silence, causing Vix to flinch. Castiss turned his head to the side, letting out a brief sigh.

“I-I want to be an adventurer...” Vix replied, finding it a little difficult to regain her confidence. “I feel like that means being a hero too, but… I don’t really know the first thing about being one, and no one in the village really cares about things like this.They’re more focused on logging and lumbering.”

“I see,” Eera nodded. “That you would seek answers for yourself is understandable, but searching for two total strangers for a response? In the middle of a mystery dungeon? I find that more than a bit reckless, don’t you?”

Vix’s cheeks flushed light purple, agreeing with his statement. “Maybe, but it’s not like I haven’t been through the dungeon before! I knew going in alone would be more difficult, but the wild Pokemon have been getting more and more aggressive lately. Some of them are downright scary now.”

“We are familiar with that phenomenon. It’s a sort of powered-up state called ‘Berserk,’ and it’s been popping up more and more around the world, from what we’ve seen. It may be linked to the increase of dungeons, but I digress.”

He grabbed another rawst berry.. “Despite Castiss’ objection, I would like to help you find an answer. I would hate your ignorance to be a result of his pessimism.”

“I’m the pessimist?” Castiss shot a death glare at Eera, his fangs bearing for a second as a low growl rolled in his chest. Vix took a step back, feeling the growl herself. “Look who’s talking, mister ‘Tall, Dark, and Brooding.’ Ain’t there a sayin’ about throwin’ rocks in a glass house? Because that’s what it sounds like you’re doing.”

“Castiss, contain yourself. There’s no reason to cause a scene over this,” Eera warned, but looked ready to fight anyway.

“Why’re ya so afraid of causin’ a scene, huh? We’re in a cave on top of a mountain, who’s gonna-” the fox cut himself off, remembering the Litwick that came to see them. He took a deep breath and relaxed as much as he could, letting his body sink to the floor as he exhaled. “Right, we’re not alone… and it’s not like we could actually fight in here either, huh?” Castiss’ tone shifted back to, what Vix believed to be, normal.

Eera loosened up as well, shooting a friendly smirk at the fox before turning to Vix. “We’ll assist you, Vix. Knowledge is a power all should have access to.”

Vix’s face lit up as her flame grew brighter. Even if Castiss believed they weren’t heroes, the chance to learn from them was something she greatly appreciated. “Thank you! Thank you both so much!”

“H-Hey, don’t go thanking us yet,” Castiss chuckled, popping another lum berry in his mouth. “What if you don’t like the answer we give you?”

“I won’t mind. If I don’t like it, it might still help me find the answer I do like!” Vix smiled.

“Well then,” Eera got up and cracked his neck, the sound reverberating throughout the cave. “Where should we begin..?”

“I think... I’ll answer first,” Castiss stated. Vix and Eera looked at him, surprised. “I know, I just said we aren’t heroes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an answer!” he snickered, then turned to Eera. “Can I ask you to wait a little bit to give her your answer?”

“Hmph, fine. I didn’t have one right now anyway,” the Bisharp waved the two off, walking towards the tunnel. “I’ll go further into the cave and survey it some more. The two of you should do your best to stay out of trouble. Especially you, Castiss.”

The fox stuck out his tongue in response, waving a small goodbye as his companion ventured into the dark passageway.

Castiss and Vix remained in the cave, mostly silent. The sounds of the storm were faintly present, and Castiss seemed to enjoy them, laying on his back and basking in the heat of the fire. They spent some time sitting there, and while it was nice to just relax and unwind, Vix kinda wanted an answer. She was about to ask what Castiss was waiting for, but was stopped before she could open her mouth by a rather loud yawn from the fox.

Awwwwwwwwww mann… what time is it?” he asked, glancing over to see the Litwick beside him. “What’s up? Do ya wanna go back to your village or something?”

“No, I was wondering what your answer was gonna be, and why we’re not really… saying that answer.”

Castiss nodded, sitting up. “There’s no rush, is there? Figured you’d want some more rest after what happened earlier. Besides, my answer’s gonna be a bit tricky to explain, so I still gotta think about it.”

“Oh, I see,” Vix sighed, taking a seat next to Castiss. He was right, she was still somewhat exhausted. Maybe it’d be smart to take his advice and relax for a little while longer. Vix went back over to the pillow she woke up on and laid down on it, dozing off hardly a moment later.


<><><><><>​


Vix awoke to the sounds of heavy footsteps. It would have been alarming, if the one making those steps hadn’t appeared not too long after.

“Mornin’ Vix!” Castiss greeted warmly, carrying two large crates above his head, one in each paw. They were filled to the brim with berries and items, most likely from the dungeon below… and he was just carrying them like they were nothing?! The fox dropped the two crates next to some of the other crates and some of the items jumped out, but were caught before they touched the ground.

“M-Morning, Castiss,” Vix said, still somewhat in awe of the fox’s strength and speed. He looked so skinny, was it all muscle or something? What kind of Pokemon was he?

“You ready to head out or what?” Castiss grinned and began stretching.

“Head out? Why?”

“You’re question, remember? I kinda know a way to answer it, and I’m a lot better at it while not cooped up in a cave,” the fox replied, pointing at the crates. “Feel free to help yourself to anything you want from those boxes, and I know that fire types enjoy charcoal, so I made some myself!” He chuckled, grabbing his black and red satchel and pulling out a few sticks of charcoal. He ate one of them and handed the rest of them to Vix.

“You eat charcoal too? Are you some kind of Fire Type?” she asked, biting on the smoky snack gifted to her. It was perfectly made, crispy, fresh, and smoky!

“No, but I can use some pretty strong fire attacks, so I snack on charcoal and kindling sometimes,” Castiss snickered, spewing a tiny flame from his maw. He planted himself on the ground, grabbing a lum berry and a tamato berry from the crate beside him and devouring them in two bites.

This fox was… definitely something to get used to. Deciding to take his offer, Vix grabbed a kasib berry and floated behind him as they left the cave.


<><><><><>​


Sunlight hurt Vix’s eyes as they reached the cave’s entrance, blinding her for a moment from the grand display of the forest below. There were so many shades of green and kinds of trees, all waving in the distorted wind of the dungeon. The morning sun’s warmth showered over the two, and a breeze blew through their flame and fur, carrying the scent of fresh, forest air and rain with it. It was hard to believe that this was the place where Vix was in peril the night before, even as she looked down to see the jagged cliff face glisten with the last signs of the storm.

“This is so beautiful…” Vix gasped, taking it all in.

“It’s one of the best views I’ve seen so far, but this is the first time I’ve seen a dungeon from this high up,” Castiss sighed. “Makes all the time in the dungeon a bit easier to deal with,” the two gazed upon the dungeon for a bit longer before Castiss kneeled down next to Vix and asked, “So, it’s a long way down, ya wanna take the fast way?”

She didn’t know what the fast way could be, but she’d rather do whatever that was than climb back down. Come to think of it, how did Castiss get those crates up here? There’s no path to walk down or anything. “Sure, where is it?”

A playful smirk decorated the fox’s snout. “Hop on and hold tight,” he replied. Vix did as she was told, planting herself on his shoulder and holding on as tight as possible, even melting a bit to wrap around him slightly. “Alright, you ready?”

“Yeah, but for wha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” Castiss had leaped high into the air, and the two began plummeting towards the base of the mountain. Vix was utterly terrified, gripping Castiss’ neck as tight as she possibly could, burying her face in his fur.

‘Th-This guy is INSANE!!!’ her mind was racing, fueled by fear and adrenaline once more. He was going to get them both killed! Why?! Why did he jump with her on?! Why didn’t she take the long way down? ‘Arceus above, PLEASE don’t let me die!’

“Maybe I should have warned you, sorry…” Castiss chuckled. He sounded less like someone who was bringing him and an unlucky kid to an untimely demise, and more like someone who gave their friend a really bitter berry without telling them first.

Castiss took a deep, deep breath, and his exhale was a mighty flamethrower aimed below them, slowing their fall and pushing them towards the mountainside. The fox then dug his claws into the rocky surface, practically tearing through it. Once they were past the tops of the trees, Castiss kicked him and Vix off the wall and basically flew through the air, grabbing onto a branch and flipping on top of it, crouching on the branch and breathing somewhat heavily.

Vix saw some of what the fox did, mainly just the flamethrower and when he flipped onto the branch. It would have been spectacular if she wasn’t basically melting into the fox’s neck, refusing to look until she was sure she was safe.

“So… what’d you think?” Castiss asked, a proud smile on his face.

“Th-Th-That was INSANE!” Vix shouted, causing the fox to flinch and hold his ear. “What were you THINKING?! Jump off the mountain because it was COOL?! We could have DIED!!!”

“Aghh! But we aren’t! We were fine!” Castiss held his pained ear. “Why would I let anything happen to you? You were safe!”

“It sure didn’t FEEL like it!” Vix barked.

“Then why didn’t you let go?” the fox barked back. “You can float, can’t ya? That’s how you were scaling the mountain before! Hell, ya probably could have floated all the way down here if ya wanted! Why’d ya trust me enough to take you down the mountain if ya didn’t trust that I’d keep ya safe?!”

“Because I didn’t know this was the shortcut!”

“What else could it have been?!”

“I-I don’t know!” Vix finally let go of Castiss’ neck. “You still could have warned me or something!”

“A-Alright, alright! I’m sorry,” Castiss sighed, sitting with his back resting on the tree trunk. “I guess in hindsight, jumping off a mountain isn’t the most ideal way anyone would think to get down it…”

“It really isn’t…” Vix popped herself off of the fox’s shoulder, landing on his knee. “What do you do that jumping off a mountain would be considered normal?”

“I’m just a traveler, really. Living on the road, seeing the world, doing whatever, really. Don’t got a place to go back to, so Eera and I just keep moving forward,” Castiss had a smile, but it wavered and morphed into a frown as he said that last part. “It’s just us, has been for a while…”

Vix regretted asking that now, seeing how downtrodden he got. She was about to see if he was alright, but the fox suddenly jumped to his feet, looking as if nothing had just happened.

“Alright, enough of that doom and gloom, we got stuff to attend to!” Castiss exclaimed, looking down at the Litwick who was still attached to his knee. “A-Are you stuck?”

“Not really stuck, I can get off whenever I want,” Vix grinned, jumping off Castiss’ leg. “See? Easy peasy!”

Castiss chuckled, dropping down to hold onto the branch below them. “That’s pretty cool, actually. Makes me wonder ever more why you were scared earlier, but whatever. I’m gonna head down the flashy way, which is just swinging from branch to branch really. Wanna come, or are you gonna float down normally?”

The Litwick smiled, hopping onto his shoulder. “Since we’re less likely to turn into a waxy fox pancake from this height, I’d gladly like to go down the fun way. Just promise not to do anything risky-”

Before Vix could even finish her sentence, Castiss began swinging and spinning on the branch, flipping through the air towards another branch, and continuing downwards.

“CASTIIIIIISSSSSSSS!!!”

<><><><><>​


Each tree looked tall enough to pierce the sky, despite the mountain being so much grander by comparison. Almost every trunk was so wide that no one could wrap their arms around it. Hardly any sunlight reached the forest floor, whatever slim streams that made it past the thick foliage above did little to illuminate the area. The main source of light was in the form of luminescent mushrooms of varying sizes, or glowing crystals protruding through the ground in one of many colors, normally green, yellow-green, or light pink. A faint, ominous haze covered the area, making anything outside of a few yards ahead look blurry.

“This dungeon is getting worse,” Castiss stated. “The haze might have been present before, but it’s getting worse.”

“How can you tell? This place looks fine by me, or at least it looks the same as when I came in,” Vix replied, taking a liking to being on Castiss’ head rather than his shoulder.

“You want to be an adventurer, right? You need to be able to see or sense these sorts of things. Dungeons with a haze like this attract more wild Pokemon, and the haze itself makes them go Berserk, and the thicker the haze gets, the more likely it will be for even sapient Pokemon to go Berserk,” Castiss explained. “Even if you weren’t trying to be an adventurer, you need to know this stuff.”

“How come you know so much?”

Castiss hesitated for a moment, his ear twitching. “Simple, I’m a traveler, and my travel buddy made sure to drill this stuff into my head. Everywhere is getting more dangerous by the day, thanks to dungeons, criminals, and Berserking Pokemon. Nobody can get a break… not until someone fixes it.” his tone shifted, somewhat sorrowful or regretful. Vix wasn’t great at telling how people felt, but she knew he was feeling somewhat down about this.

“I’m sure it’ll be alright,” she attempted to soothe the fox, patting his ear. “That’s part of the reason I wanna be a hero, to get to the bottom of all this mess and, I dunno, find some way to stop it?”

Another twitch of his ear, not because of Vix patting it, however. Castiss stopped for a moment before changing directions. “That’s a very noble thing to want to do, but I’ll be honest, this is greater than any of us right now.”

“Why do you sound so sure of that?” the Litwick asked, leaning over his forehead to look him in the eye. He was serious, that she was able to tell. The look Castiss gave her felt like a warning, that she didn’t want to know the answer to that.

The two walked in silence for a little while, taking in the scenery until Castiss abruptly stopped, his ears flicking and twitching alarmingly. As if he found something he was looking for, the fox charged in one direction, weaving around trees and mushrooms. Before Vix could ask what the trouble was, he answered her, “Someone’s in trouble, they’re surrounded!”

<><><><><>​

‘This was a bad idea! Really, really bad!’ the frantic thoughts of a Chespin looped in his mind as he ran through the forest. Behind him, a surprisingly menacing horde of Ribombee, with the one in charge being much larger than the rest and exuding a menacing black aura, its eyes crimson and crazed. The rodent had come in search of his friend; while only two days passed outside the dungeon, he knew more time had passed inside it, and while Vix was capable, he was too full of worry to not go in after her.

‘Wh-What if the Shiinotic already got her? Or these Ribombee? They’re so aggressive now, Vix wouldn’t possibly have stood a chance on her own!’ It would seem that this Chespin, Ace, made the same mistake Vix did by going in alone. Ace tripped on a root, rolling forward into the trunk of a tree. He tried to get up in time before the Ribombee could reach him, but they were already so close. Almost on top of him, in fact. Ace pulled his satchel from his side, searching for something, anything that could save him.

“Yes! Some blast seeds!” he exclaimed, pulling out three of the seeds. There were way more than three Ribombee, but it would be better than nothing. “Stay back! Or you’re gonna get a real bad tan!” Ace warned, glaring at the incoming wild Pokemon. “I-I’m serious!”

But the incoming insects didn’t even slow their approach. Since they didn’t want to listen, Ace reeled back and chucked the three blast seeds at the Ribombee. “Take this you creeps!”

Ace had expected a big explosion, but what he got was an eruption of flame that nearly took him out too! He couldn’t see any of the Ribombee horde anymore, the fire was so spread out and so high up that it basically formed a wall that scorched the plants around it.

“H-Holy Arceus! I didn’t realize blast seeds were so strong! I should definitely use more of them…” the Chespin chuckled, taking a long moment to catch his breath. Running for so long would tire anyone out, so this break was greatly appreciated.

Ace pulled an oran berry from his bag and took a bite out of it, getting to his feet and preparing to try and find Vix again. Two steps, then, something exploded on his back, knocking him to the ground. Intense pain overcame Ace, and as particles of pollen fell around him, he realized why. Struggling to even push himself off the ground, Ace turned to the still raging fire, and his body froze. From the fire, came that large Ribombee, hardly bothered by the flames on its body. And it was mad..

“N-No way..!” Ace gasped, crawling backwards to get away from the monster. “That’s impossible! With an explosion that big, h-how are you-”

“Ace!” a voice called from behind the Chespin, followed by a tiny burst of flame shooting past him, hitting the Ribombee in its chest. Ace turned to see a Litwick floating towards him, a sight that nearly brought him to tears.

“V-Vix! I found you! Well, you found me, but still!” Ace tried to get up again, but his body ached too much. Vix got to his side and helped him to his feet, pulling him behind her.

“We need to move, now!” she ordered, not getting any objections from her friend.

Furious at the ember that hit it, the Ribombee gathered more pollen and fired it at the two escaping Pokemon. Its attack was halted by a black figure getting between it and its targets. A pained groan left the figure, causing Ace to turn around, a second wave of fear overflowing within him.

“M-M-M-MONSTER!!!” the Chespin exclaimed as he saw the menacing shape of a fox, forgetting he was hurt and running ahead of Vix.

“No, he’s here to help us!” Vix tried to calm her friend down, but he wasn’t listening. Vix looked back, gasping at the sight of more Ribombee appearing, closing in on Castiss. Perhaps not wanting to further the forest fire, Castiss resorted to fighting the Ribombee with his paws and claws, but there were too many of them! The urge to go back and help him was strong, but the words Castiss told Vix before this rang in her head.

“No matter what happens, focus on getting your friend out of here, alright? Don’t worry about me, just run and don’t turn back!” he sounded so sure that he’d be fine that Vix didn’t even try to argue with him. Even as his exclamations of pain were suddenly audible, and the glow of pink, Fairy Type attacks shined and pollen blew past them, Vix didn’t turn back.


<><><><><>​


Timberthicket Village was like a paradise after the nightmare Ace and Vix narrowly escaped from. The log houses looked like the most luxurious inns, the dirt road that led to the dirt circle in the center might as well have been paved in gold, and the Chesnaught that took them back home and scolded them both sounded like an angel.

“Feel like explaining yourselves?” the Grass Type asked sternly. His arms were crossed and his foot tapped impatiently on the wooden floor. Vix stepped forward, somehow finding the strength to look the Chesnaught in the eye.

“I’m sorry, Indul. I went into the dungeon alone and Ace came to save me,” she said.

“You never did say why, you just up and left. We were starting to get worried, but while you were gone, more bandits showed up and we were too occupied with that to come after you. It looks like, this time, those bandits are back to stealing from us taking what we have without bringing them back...” Indul groaned, holding his forehead. He gave both of them another look over, noting Ace’s injuries. “What happened in there? The dungeon can't have gotten that bad, right?”

“It’s a little more dangerous, but it wasn’t too much for us!” Vix grinned, getting a look double take from Ace. She glanced back at the Chespin, telling him to go along with it. “I was actually planning on going back inside pretty soon! It was fun camping out alone in a dungeon.”

Another surprised look from Ace, this one Vix ignored. The Chespin cleared his throat and looked in a direction relatively close to Indul’s eyes. “This time, I’ll make sure to go in with her, pops! We’ll be safe!”

A hearty chuckle escaped the Chesnaught’s chest as he patted his son on the head. “That’s what I like to hear! I’m alright with the both of you going in together, but no more going solo for a while, alright?”

Vix and Ace both nodded, promising to stick together. Indul smiled and made for the exit. “Good. I have some business to attend to. Seeing how roughed up you are, I’d suggest staying in for the rest of the day, as little of it there looks to be.”

Now alone, the Litwick and Chespin stood in silence for a moment before the latter practically collapsed onto the floor, on his hands and knees.

“I haven’t held my breath that long before..! If he stayed even a moment later, I’d have blabbed about what actually happened!” Ace rolled onto his back, panting. He suddenly pointed at Vix’s face, glaring at her. “What were you doing in there?! What was that monster that you said was there to save us?!”

Vix pushed Ace’s paw to the side and covered his mouth, shushing him. “Can you not with the yelling?! Geez! I was gonna tell you, just not right now.”

“Wh-What do you mean-” Ace started saying, but was again silenced by a waxy nub. He took a deep breath to calm down, having got all the yelling out of his system. “Ok, why do you want to wait to tell me?”

“Because I know you’re gonna freak out about it, or tell Indul. You and secrets don’t mix, like blast seeds and fire,” Vix chuckled.

“I said I was sorry! I wasn’t trying to throw the seed at your flame,” Ace grinned, getting off the ground. “Well, maybe... who’s to say? It was pretty funny after a while.”

“I covered the walls, you jerk, and you too!” the Litwick shoved her friend, laughing. “The second Indul walked in and slipped, I thought he’d be sooooo mad!”

“Because we were going through his stuff, or because he slipped on you?” Ace snickered.

Vix rolled her eyes and nodded, heading towards the room at the back of the house. There were only three rooms, including a kitchen and two bedrooms, each being rather spacious despite how small the house looked from the outside. This room in particular held two small mattress beds on either side of the room, a night stand on the far wall, and a window sitting just above that night stand.

“I can’t imagine a lot of people can say their friend blew them up the first time they met, huh?” she sighed, falling onto her bed and melting into it, but not before taking out her notebook and pencil and tossing her satchel to the side. “I’m beat, what about you?”

“Does it count if I got beat up? For how cute Ribombee are, they really hurt,” Ace plopped himself on his own bed and let out a long, groaning exhale. “I barely spent half a day in there this time… I’m never gonna beat your record of a week.”

Vix snickered, tossing the Chespin an oran berry. “Not with that attitude, you won’t. Maybe once the dungeon gets safer, you’ll be able to spend a whole month in it?”

The berry hit Ace on the head, which he barely felt, and he grabbed it before it bounced onto the ground. After taking a bite out of it, he looked over at Vix as if she was crazy. “Why would I wanna spend a month surrounded by Ribombee and Shiinotic?”

“Didn’t you just say Ribombee were cute?” the Litwick teased, getting half an oran tossed at her.

“Th-That doesn’t mean I wanna be in a dungeon full of ‘em!” Ace exclaimed.

Vix giggled, taking a bite out of the oran he threw at her. “Whatever cute bee lover. I hope you dream of nectar and honey with your little bee girlfriend~”

Instead of humoring Vix with a response, Ace huffed and turned away from the living candle. He ended up going to sleep not too long after, which wasn’t much of a surprise. Vix let out a sigh and looked at the ceiling, her mind wandering back to Castiss and the Ribombee he was fighting.

The way the fox demanded she not turn back for him, it sounded like he knew he was going to be swarmed by them. She couldn’t understand him, jumping off a mountain as a shortcut, saving two Pokemon from a village that denied him and his friend when they needed a place to stay, and even risking his life to save one of them! Plus, all that stuff he knows about dungeons, and how strong he looks to be, there’s no way he’s just a simple “traveler.”

A proud smile stretched on Vix’s face; she was right yet again. Despite what Castiss insisted, there was no mistaking it, he was a hero! And an adventurer to boot! He and Eera were exactly who she was looking for! The excited Litwick scribbled away in her notebook, jotting down what had happened. She could hardly wait for tomorrow!
 

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter Three: Another Forest



Before the sun rose the next morning, Vix popped out of bed and floated towards the kitchen. She grabbed an apple, a couple plain seeds, some charcoal. She quickly scribbled a note saying she entered the dungeon, and was about to head out the door when...

"Hey, what're you doin' up so early?" Ace yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "You're not heading back into the dungeon already, are you?"

"N-Not just yet, I was, uh, gonna wait outside for you!" Vix lied.

"But you didn't even try to wake me up…"

"Well, you're up now, so let's go!" Despite being smaller than him,Vix was able to drag Ace along without much trouble. The Chespin could only verbally protest, which he gave up momentarily.

The entrance to the dungeon was a plain, forested path, slightly distorted by the haze Castiss told Vix about. The two took in the gentle breeze that blew around them from the path, it was refreshing in an... adventurous sort of way. The thrill of entering the dungeon was one thing, but to also learn from heroes in hiding? Vix was exploding with excitement, her dancing flame showing that excitement to all.

"Alright, no turning back!" the Litwick giggled. "To Adventure!"

"Wait, what do you mean no turning ba-" Ace started to ask, but Vix was already pulling him against his will, right back into the dungeon they narrowly escaped the day before. "And you're just gonna drag me inside… cool, that's fine, don't tell me. I didn't even wanna know…"


<><><><><>​


"H-Hold on! Th-That was that fox guy?!" Ace yelled, looking at Vix like he'd seen a ghost. Well... he is looking at one, technically…

"Yep! He's… different, to say the least, but he's a good guy." Vix tapped what would be her chin.

"Different?! More like evil! Did you NOT see him roll up to town covered in BLOOD?!"

"I never did ask him about that… but how is he evil if he saved you yesterday?"

Ace opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find an answer that quickly. "H-He just wanted to be the one to do it, instead of those Ribombee! Yeah!"

"Seriously? He didn't want the swarm of Ribombee to kill you, so he stepped in to save you, and dealt with the Ribombee, AND never actually came after you..." Vix deadpanned. Ace wasn't totally confident in that answer, but stood by it anyway.

"Whatever, let's just hurry to the mountain and find him," the Litwick groaned. "It's gonna take a while but-"

"H-He's in the Cursed Mountain?" Ace squeaked, getting a stern look from Vix.

"Aren't you the one obsessed with that myth? I actually climbed it, and that myth terrifies me."

"Th-This is different! I don't actually believe the myth! But I DO believe that that fox is not safe to be around!"

Vix rolled her eyes and pulled Ace into the dungeon, already fed up with his wimpiness.


<><><><><>​


They continued through the forest, grabbing items, avoiding the sounds of wild Pokemon, and Vix filling in Ace on more of her self-provided quest. With the pace they kept, and the few detours needed to avoid conflict, Vix and Ace reached the river before the day was over.

Exhaustion hit like a punch to the gut, and both Pokemon collapsed on the river's edge. Their satchels were full and heavy, their body's sore, but they were glad to have made it this far in one piece.

"L-Let's… set up camp…" Ace panted, rolling onto his back. "We can continue on in the morning."

"That'll be a waste of time..!" Vix tiredly exclaimed. "We can rest up and go through the night, that's what I did last time!"

"Why do you wanna see them so badly?" the Chespin sat up, pulling a small, wrapped-up green tent from his satchel. He started setting it up, looking over at the Litwick with a smug grin for a moment. "You love one of them, doncha?"

Vix flushed purple, and her flame flickered. "N-No, I'm just worried about him! And Eera has an answer I need for something!"

"Gotcha! I didn't even say which one!" Ace snickered, planting large, plastic nails into the ground through loops in the edges of the tent.

"Unlike you, I don't fall in love with the first Pokemon I meet in a dungeon!" Vix stuck her tongue out and crossed her arm-nubs. "Maybe if we find that Ribombee again, you can ask her out, since you feel so left out."

"I do not like that Ribombee!" Ace huffed, but his rosy cheeky said otherwise.

The tent was done being set up, just enough room for the two to rest in comfortably. It was cozy, and Vix managed to keep it warm too. With the gentle flow of the river, rustling of leaves, and fading sunlight, Ace and Vix planned the rest of their journey to the mountain the light of twilight came. They began taking down their tent and folding it back down to its compact shape, sometimes glancing upon the majesty of the skyline and purples and oranges that danced across it.

"Perfect! Now we just gotta head across," Ace dusted off his paws, looking at the flow of water before them. "It doesn't look too strong today, luckily, maybe we can just swim across? But… we might want to be a bit safer than that and find a fallen tree or something…"

As Ace pondered and paced back and forth, Vix gently floated to the other side without alerting him.

"...I mean, who knows how long it would take to get a tree to fall in just the right way to get us across? We might wanna start… Vix?" the Chespin realized he was alone, turning to the other side of the river to see a candle waving at him. "Ok, cheater," a vine stretched Ace's back all the way over to Vix, who tied around a nearby tree. Then, Ace dropped himself into the water and pulled himself along the vine.

"Didya have fun?" Vix asked with a smile.

Ace rolled his eyes. "Yes, actually. Now let's keep going. It was your idea to walk through the night, so if I pass out, you're carrying me."


<><><><><>​


The darkness of night, coupled with the sudden increase of foliage, was more than Vix had planned for, she needed to basically be constantly eating something to burn bright enough to see a few yards ahead. It wasn't normal, she could tell, and maybe Ace could too. The things they could see were wild; warped trees with vines, sharp stones and dark colored gems poking out of the ground, and the few items they were able to find being lookalikes.

The haze was stronger here. They must have wandered into a different part of the dungeon, almost entirely unfamiliar to them. The air was thick, and a putrid stench burned their noses, or lack thereof. Dread crawled up their backs, chilling even Vix to her non-existent bones

"This isn't the right place, is it?" Ace asked, grabbing what he thought was a geo pebble, but when his mind was brought to when he was younger, and his eyes began to be blurred by tears, he tossed it aside. "Please say no…"

"Not at all. B-But I think we'll be able to make it to the mountain if we keep walking straight," Vix answered, hoping to be right. She was running low on charcoal, and frankly, the twigs and leaves of this part of the dungeon didn't feel trustworthy, or any part of this place for that matter.

Deeper and deeper into the darkness they trudged, the air grew thicker, the stench fouler, and the spine-chilling dread more and more unbearable. When their path began to decline, and the haze looked to almost be flowing from it, Ace and Vix considered going back, trying a different way. After very little back and forth, they decided to head back. A decision... that did not last very long.

Grroouuhhhh… nggghhaaaa…

Both of them froze. Someone… something was… close.

H-Haaaaaaaah… mm-mngghhhh…

Slow, ground-shaking steps gave the general direction of whatever was making that noise. Vix's flame dimmed for a moment out of fear, unsure if she should risk expanding it to see whatever was lurking. Other than the footsteps, the only thing alerting them to being was a ghastly-green glow among the darkness.

"V-Vix… we can't, go back now… can we..?" Ace whispered shakily, leaning in close to her candle wax body. His breathing was sharp, erratic; any attempts to remain calm for failing fast.

"J-Just follow my lead…" Vix replied quietly, gently floating over the ground. As she and Ace progressed slowly but surely down the hill, the footsteps sounded like they were going the opposite direction. Despite that, that foreboding dread didn't leave them.


<><><><><>​


After a while the footsteps faded, and the ground shaking grew weaker. The bottom of the hill was shrouded with haze, like a thick fog. Distant, unknown sounds seemed to surround the exhausted duo, some of them sounding totally unnatural. The few crystals that were there were tiny and dull in color. Plant life, too, had become scarce. Trees were thin and sickly, and what little grass was there was dead. Whether that was because of the haze, neither of the two knew...

Ace collapsed on the cold floor, panting heavily. The air tasted utterly vile, but he needed to breathe. Vix melted into a puddle of anxious wax, her flame flicking and sputtering.

"We messed up! We really, REALLY messed up!" Ace exclaimed, gagging at the smell.

"I know…" Vix sighed.

"We're LOST, in a place that smells so bad a MUK would be revolted, with some… MONSTER in the woods behind us!" the Chespin yelled, making Vix melt even further and her flame to shrink.

"I know..!"

"All because you wanted to find some freaks, and ask them a question, that literally ANYONE could have told you!"

"I KNOW!" Vix exploded, taking her candle shape once more as her flame violently bursts from her wick. "And they are NOT freaks! They're heroes!"

"They saved us once! And you believe they saved us from the bandits, too! But what about what Indul said? While we were gone, more bandits came! Where was your hero then?!" Ace shoved his face close to Vix's. If he had a flame, it'd be burning just as violently as Vix's.

"He was saving your sorry ass from Ribombee, and making sure we got home safe! And if the bandits came before that, then…" she started shrinking, remorseful. "... i-it's my fault… Castiss was looking out for me ever since I went into the dungeon, he saved me over and over again. I was distracting him the entire time…"

Ace's anger fell as he saw the regret growing on his friends face. "It isn't your fault, Vix. You wouldn't have known. Wasn't there another one? Era or something?"

"Eera was busy, I think. When I woke up after Castiss saved me from the storm, Eera went deeper into the mountain for… something," Vix replied, holding her head. "Oh Arceus… it really is my fault. Castiss was the only one who was fighting the bandits, wasn't he?"

This was turning sour faster than either could have predicted. Ace tried his hardest to ignore the almost rotting stench and console his friend. As bad as things were getting, being sad is only going to make it worse.

"I promise, it isn't your fault. The bandits didn't come before I left, so Castiss was busy saving me too. If anything, it was more my fault seeing ho-" Ace was cut off by a sudden thump, and the shaking of the ground. All of his color left him, and he stood there, shaking. Vix was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice at first… but then the second thump came.

Those weren't thumps, as they were able to tell now, but footsteps…

Slow…

Heavy…

Footsteps.

Nnn-nnngggghhhhaaaa…


Neither of them could move, it was as if their bodies accepted what was to come already. Closer the steps came, and from behind, that green glow began to shine. It was right there, it was right on top of them. They could hear its body creaking and groaning, and feel its ungodly presence. It radiated cold, and that wretched stench… was also coming from it.

Ace began to turn despite not wanting to, wracked with fear and dread. His eyes widened. It was giant, towering over them, made almost entirely of dark colored stone. Its mantle was rounded and broken, having a crack in its center that was sealed by something that looked like metal, and was propped up on two sturdy legs with two bulky arms that rested by its sides. On its shoulders and hands was a jagged swirl emitting that same green light Ace and Vix saw earlier, and the crack on its mantle poured that light onto the frightened pair.

Gggghh-gggrrrrrrrrrrr…

The sounds it made seemed to be almost lifelike, eerily unfitting for the rock giant.

Vix and Ace watched, petrified, as it raised its giant arm. They feared what it was going to do, what it was, everything about this… thing! Vix managed to shake enough fear away to do something.

"Move!" she yelled, firing small flames at the titan's raised arm. The attack halted its movements for a moment, which was enough for Ace to regain control of his body and run with Vix out of there! The ground shook violently as the arm struck where Ace was standing, and thoughts about what would have happened to him if he didn't move plagued his mind.

They didn't turn back for any reason, weaving through the trees as fast as they could possibly go, and ignoring the slowly approaching footsteps that shook the ground beneath them. It was huge, bulky, and clearly not made for movement, the pair thought. They just had to keep running, and they'd be fine. They must have been faster than it, they had to.


<><><><><>​


Sprinting through the haze was nauseating, but fortunately, Ace and Vix came across a hollowed out trunk to hide in. It was surrounded by a few other dying trees, so cover wasn't an issue at least. Having a moment to breath was something neither would take for granted, putrid air or not. Thoroughly exhausted and sore, the Litwick and Chespin duo fell beside each other in the tree.

"What is that thing?" Ace spoke in hushed tones, on the verge of fully panicking.

"I don't think we want to know," Vix shakily replied. "We're stuck here with that thing… and it's all my fault."

"We're not stuck, we're just lost! It's not much better, sure, but that means we can still get out! We'll be back home in no time!" Ace attempted to reassure his friend, forcing himself to believe his own words.

They kept quiet, listening for the steps that signaled the titan's approach. Tens of minutes went by, and nothing came. Aside from the eerie sounds of this forest, there was an oddly comforting silence. To be safe, they waited just a bit longer before speaking again.

"Alright, it's not coming," Vix let out a relieved sigh, melting slightly.

"Sounds like it. So, maybe we should make a plan or something? That might help keep us focused," Ace suggested, pulling his satchel from his side and rummaging through it. Vix did the same. "Let's see… I have a few blast seeds, a heal seed, a-and… oh! My all-mach orb!"

"I still have a couple plain seeds, a stun seed, two orans and a cleanse orb. Wait, did you not grab anything on the way here?" Vix looked at Ace, rolling her eyes as he shrugged. "Whatever, keep this oran with you. I think we might be able to run from that thing pretty easily, with all the stuff we got."

"Yep! I knew today was a good day to bring my precious orb! This bad boy's gonna get us out of here in no time flat!" the Chespin threw his fist in the air, cheering quietly. "And if that giant rock thing shows its ugly mug, I blast it to kingdom come!"

"And I guess I can stun it for a bit, maybe give it a shiny new look for whoever gets chased by it after us too," the two snickered, the gravity of their situation easing off a bit.

Once they believed they were ready and left the tree, regret formed as they realized how turned around they were. As if that mattered in the end anyway, who's ever heard of going back the way you came in a dungeon? Armed with their limited supplies, newfound, but also somewhat shaky, courage, and their wits, Vix and Ace marched further into the unknown. Ace kept a paw on his bag, ready for anything to pop up, and Vix nibbled on a plain seed as her ghostly flame lit their way.


<><><><><>​


The pair walked and floated mostly in silence, listening intently for the booming footsteps and ominous groans of their pursuer among the eerie ambiance. Not feeling that dreadful sense of something following them helped ease the tension a little, and the dead forest they lost in felt a tiny bit least haunted.

"You know, after breathing this smell in for a while, it isn't so bad," Ace spoke, breaking their silence. "I mean, it's still the absolute worst thing I've ever smelled, but at least I'm not gagging on it anymore.

"Yeah, I don't even have a nose and I agree with that. Maybe there are some Poison Types here, or… were. I don't think anything besides that big rock thing is here," Vix shuddered slightly. "This place is so different from the rest of the dungeon, I don't think anyone's seen anything like it."

"I hope not, this would give anyone nightmares, maybe even Indul!" Ace chuckled, fumbling with the items in his bag. "We should probably tell him we found this place, actually. A dead forest with a stone giant feels like something Indul might want to make note of."

Vix hummed for a moment, thinking about it. "Yeah, definitely. But what's that gonna do other than worry him? It's an entire section of a mystery dungeon, I'm not even sure if it's part of the same dungeon either…"

As they chatted away, the terrain started to change; going upwards at a slight incline, pebbles and stones became more and more prominent, and the odd gem or two were getting bigger and more colorful. Apparently, some of them were pink, like in the normal part of the dungeon, others were purple, but a few remained dark and dull.

Vix's flame flickered excitedly, and a hopeful smile grew on Ace. "I think we're getting closer to the mountain!" the Litwick cheered, speeding up. "We're almost out of here! Oh thank Arceus!"

The incline grew more and more, and dirt and dead grass got less prominent, now in favor of cold stone. Vix and Ace ran like their lives depended on it, swearing that they could taste freedom! As the haze started to clear up, and sunlight illuminated the mountainside, both Pokemon let out a cheerful cry. That odor started to clear up, slowly being replaced with crisp, clean air.

"I almost can't believe it!" Ace cried out, wiping tears away as he dashed towards the exit. "I can almost feel the sunlight!" he dreamed of basking in the sun's rays for hours once they got out of there, that thought helped push him even faster. But, the forest did not seem ready to let them leave just yet…

thoo… thoo…

'Ignore it! It can't be that close! We didn't hear it this entire time, there's no way it caught up to us that fast!' Vix told herself focusing on reaching the mountain. 'It's just wandering through the woods around us, yeah! That's-'

thoo... thoom… thoomm Thoomm Thooom


'N-No freaking way, that's impossible! We lost it! I KNOW we lost it!' Ace's mind screamed. This nightmare was so close to being over, they're RIGHT THERE! The mountain, the sunlight, it is right in front of them! Just a bit further, they just needed to go a bit further!

Gggg-gg-ggrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh…

A faint green light shone from behind them, growing faster and faster. Was it gaining on them?! Its footsteps made it out that way, almost toppling Ace over every time they hit the ground. He felt sick to his stomach, their chance at leaving was fleeting away. How? Why?! It wasn't fair!

"D-DAMMMIT!" the Chespin shouted at the top of his lungs. "This isn't fair! We're right there! We are RIGHT THERE!" every part of him said to keep running, that he and Vix would make it if they kept running.

But, without even looking back to see how close the giant was, both of them knew how unlikely that was. It was practically breathing down their backs, its vile stench and unworldly presence causing their skin or wax to crawl.

The giant's body creaked and moaned, then all of sudden, it struck the ground with incredible force. Ace and Vix were sent skyborne, the latter of which managed to keep herself stable enough to float, while the former flailed his arms as he fell. Ace was also able to get a better look at the top of the giant. It only had half a face, a curve indicating where it must have been sliced off.

"I got you!" Vix exclaimed, grabbing hold of Ace's tail. She flew away from the giant as fast as she could, but not only was it keeping pace with her, but she was falling and slowing down. Vix's exhaustion was starting to take its toll, at the worst, possibile, time! They needed to do something, fast!

"Y-Your bag! Quick, throw something from your bag!" the Litwick frantically yelled.

Ace reached for his bag, pulling out a fresh blast seed and grinning. "Hey, Headless! Eat this and choke on it!" he shouted, dropping the seed and swatting it at the giant with a vine. The hit the giant's shoulder, exploding on impact and causing it to fall backwards.

GG-GGRRRRAAAAAAHHGGGG..!

Its heavy body hit the ground with a violent crash. Ace let out a laugh, utterly shocked but entirely grateful that the seed worked.

"It's down! We knocked it down!" he cheered, letting his body hang as he and Vix started to lower. The Litwick was able to keep them airborne for long enough that the giant was lost in the haze.

They hit the ground, tumbling along it before sliding to a stop in a depression in the stone. Vix kept herself solid as she rolled, melting into an exhausted puddle once her movement halted. Ace laid flat on his back, taking deep breaths and staring into the sky. It was so refreshing, for once, to see the mountain so close. As Ace looked into the sky, some sparkly something caught his eye. It was hard to see, the haze around them was thick enough to blur something from that far away, but it was coming down pretty quick.

"Hey… Vix..?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the shiny thing. "What's that?" Ace pointed at the thing just long enough for Vix to see it, before dropping his arm back down.

"It's really shiny, I think. Oh, did it come from the top of the mountain?" Vix asked.

"Uh-huh."

"It might just be Eera then…" the Litwick went back being a puddle on the ground, hardly a care in the world.

"Ok… but he's kinda coming right at us…"

"That's great, he might be coming to save us..."

"No, like… he's coming right at us!" Ace picked himself up, tripping over himself to move. "Get up! Hurry!" He tried to scoop up as much of Vix as he could, but she was still goopy.

Vix, slightly irritated, solidified herself and looked back at the incoming Eera. From an angle, it really did look like-

"WAIT NO!" the Litwick yelled, as if Eera could have heard her. Ace picked the candle up and ran for it, trying his best not to trip or stumble, which might have made him trip and stumble more.

Before they were clear of the depression in the stone, Ace and Vix were launched out of it by the force of an attack hitting the ground, landing just a few feet away on their faces. The sound of metal clanking on stone alerted the two of Eera's landing, but neither felt they had the strength to get up and greet him.

"Now… where did that explosi-" Eera's voice suddenly stopped, and his metallic steps approached the fallen pair. "Vix?! What are you doing here? And who is this?" he asked, lifting them both off the ground.

"Lost… in the woods…" Vix groaned, melting slightly. "Found… forest…"

"Giant… chased us…" Ace weakly added. "I blew… it up…"

"A giant? You were being chased by-" again, he was cut off. This time by the gentle snoring of the two small Pokemon in his arms. A small smile found its way onto Eera, he could tell that they were exhausted. "...Alright, let's return to our cave, the both of you deserve to rest for getting away from that."

Eera turned to the mountain and walked back, careful not to jostle the two slumbering Pokemon too much. He gently leapt from stone to stone as he scaled the cliff face, unaware of the green glow that watched his every move from the haze below.
 
Last edited:

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter Four: From Bad to Worse


Vix blinked awake, half melted around Ace on a familiar black and red pillow, in a familiar looking cave, and the warmth of a fire hitting her face. Ace was still sound asleep, murmuring something with an adorable little smile.

"This is, what, the second time we saved you while you were on our way to us?" a voice spoke from the other side of the fire. Poking his head out to the side was Castiss, who gave Vix a wave once she noticed him. His chest and arms were bandaged up, but it didn't look like he was in pain. "Nice to see you're awake, Vix. I just got back from exploring the dungeon, and Eera asked to watch you guys until you woke up."

"Eera?" Vix solidified and asked, hopping off of the pillow and leaving Ace to himself. "Oh yeah, he saved us earlier..! We were being chased by a big rock… thing, then we blew it up and Eera nearly crushed us!"

"A big rock thing?" Castiss crossed his arms and hummed. "Wait… where were you two?"

"Some part of the dungeon that smelled awful and felt kinda dead. Why?"

The look and Castiss' face switched from pleasant and calm to worried and shocked in an instant.

"Wh-Why the hell did you… How did you even…" the fox fumbled over his words, panicking slightly. It took him a moment to calm himself and say what he was trying so hard to. "What were the two of you doing?" he asked, still worried.

"I- We were trying to get here," Vix gestured to the cave. "I don't even know how we got there, or that there was even another part to the dungeon!" she looked back over at Ace, who had curled up on the pillow. "We were so scared…"

"Well, yeah, that place is horrifying!" some of Castiss' cheerfulness coming back. He tossed an oran to Vix, giving a sympathetic smile. "Wish I knew you were coming, I'd have helped you guys through that mess. Eera and I have been pretty busy after you and your friend left."

The Litwick took a bit out of the oran, again admiring its strong flavor. "Busy? With what?"

Castiss placed a lum berry in his maw and ate it, wondering about something. After he finished the berry, he shrugged and said, "You two are kinda wrapped up in it, so it wouldn't hurt to tell you. But we might wanna wait for your friend to get up first."

'Wrapped up in it?' Vix thought, taking another bite out of the berry she was given. 'What, are they trying to hunt that rock giant?'

The two conscious Pokemon chatted away for a while until Ace finally decided to wake up and join them. The Chespin groggily uncurled himself and propped himself up on his arms, looking around. Once his eyes landed on Vix, he yawned and waved at her.

"Hey Vix… hey fox guy…" he half-mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Ace suddenly stopped, snapping his head back to the tall fox that was waving back at him. "W-Wait… i-isn't that-"

"Yes, this is one of the guys that came to Timberthicket a few weeks ago, who is also the guy that saved me from falling off the mountain during a storm," Vix quickly interrupted, shoving her half eaten fruit and the still-waking Chespin. "And who also saved you from your crazy Ribombee girlfriend."

Ace took the fruit, staring at Castiss as he processed what was told to him. "Right, right, he's a her- wait, d-did you tell him about the Ribombee?!" he glared at his candle wax friend, feeling his face heat up.

"I thought you were joking, but… wow," Castiss snickered. "I mean, Ribombee are pretty dang cute, I wouldn't blame you."

"N-NO! I do NOT like that Ribombee!" Ace sputtered, shaking his head and hands to further emphasize that point.

"He even knows the exact one we're talking about, see?" Vix giggled, her flame dancing playfully. She and Castiss got up and began to sing, "Ace and Ribombee, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-"

"NO! NO! NO!" Ace continued to protest, getting a laugh out of the two torturing him.

"Seriously, Castiss? Are you six?" a much more serious voice spoke from the tunnel, followed by the clanks of metal greaves. Eera entered the room with a smirk, beaming Castiss in the forehead with an oran berry.

"Are you? Who just walks in a room and throws fruit at someone?" the fox chuckled, catching fruit as it fell and tossed it in his mouth.

Ace let out a squeak as the Bisharp entered. He was so tall, and had so many blades! It was as if that stone giant had a son with an axe! "A-A-Are you…"

"Oh, you're awake. I am Eera, pleasure to meet you," the bladed Pokemon gave a slight bow to Ace as he introduced himself. "I doubt Castiss found the time to inform the both of you while he was teasing you?"

Ace shook his head, basically hiding behind his berry. Eera sighed and sat beside Castiss.

"I see. Well, now that everyone is awake, I would like to understand why I found you both in that wretched place," Eera asked, taking a more stern tone.

"We don't know, we just walked through the woods like we normally would have, then we just kinda got there," Vix answered, honest.

Eera looked Vix and Ace over, crossing his arms. "Is that so… Unfortunately, your misadventure has gifted you an opportunity that you cannot refuse, Vix. Thanks to your run-in with that automaton, the both of you are stuck with us until further notice."

"WHAT?!" Vix and Ace both exclaim, the former being excited and the latter more confused and upset.

"Wh-Why do we gotta stay here with you?!" Ace tossed the half-eaten berry to the side. "You're trying to kidnap us, aren't you?! We were right to-"

"We are doing nothing of the sort," Eera replied calmly. "That automaton is an ancient Pokemon called Golurk. They are normally dormant, or at the very least passive, but this one is… corrupted. It is part of the reason we came in the first place."

"Golurk were built to be protectors, but that one is a monster. Once it has its sights on you, it will stop at nothing to hunt you down. If you went back to your home, you'd endanger everyone there," Castiss added.

"No, nononono…" Ace fell backwards, his blood running cold. "I'm stuck here, i-in the mystery dungeon, with some… evil rock thing?!"

Vix placed her hand nub on her friend's back. "You're also stuck with me, and we got both of these heroes! They can probably smash that thing to pieces!"

"Maybe. We've been stockpiling items just so we can have a chance against it. I've been setting these crates up wherever Eera thinks we're gonna have to fight that thing, but he's still saying we aren't ready to take it down just yet," Castiss chuckled and shrugged.

"For as long as we've been here, I believe we know next to nothing about the dungeon or that Golurk, and frankly, it would be nice to have my partner actually assisting me as I looked into this," Eera glared at the fox. "We have more than enough items, so I ask you to come with me, Castiss."

Castiss mumbled something and leaned against one of the crates, resting the back of his head on his arms. "That doesn't sound like you asking."

Eera put on a fiendish grin, some dark pressure emanating from him, strong enough for Vix and Ace to get chills. "I wasn't."

"A-Are you sure h-he's a hero..?" Ace asked Vix, shaking slightly as he looked at the menacing Bisharp.

"Just because he's a bit scary, d-doesn't mean he isn't a hero!" the Litwick replied, smiling nervously. After taking a moment to calm her nerves, Vix approached the two heroes and asked, "What can we do to help?"

Everyone in the room looked at her with differing levels of shock, the most coming from Ace, whose mouth was agape and sounded like he was choking on whatever it was he wanted to say. Eera, the least shocked, let out a chuckle and smirked at the living candle.

"I knew there was something about you, Vix. You've been spared from certain death twice now, and yet you keep coming back for more. It's admirable, if not absurdly naive," the Bisharp said, then putting on a more serious tone. "The both of you are already tangled up in this mess enough, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are not tangled up further. I request that you stay here, out of harm's way."

"Oh thank Arceus!" The sudden relief in Ace was felt by everyone in the room, even more so when he fell face down onto the pillow he was resting on.

"Wh-Why?!" Vix's protest was met with avid "no"s and hushes from her friend, which she ignored. "We already took it down once! Why shouldn't we help?"

Eera scanned the Litwick's face for a moment before standing up and reaching into one of the crates, pulling out a blast seed. "You landed a decent hit on it and got away. But throwing a blast seed at it is different than fighting it head on, and I thoroughly doubt you two have any considerable amount of strength."

"Then, we'll prove it!" Vix huffed, getting silent objections from Ace.

"I'd love to see how, especially since every fight you've been in since we met resulted in you needing us to save you," Eera scoffed. "Please, inform me, how would you prove yourselves?"

He was giving Vix a smug look, which made her slightly aggravated. Did he always think so little of her? It's not like she gave him much reason not to, admittedly, he had a point after all. But that didn't mean she couldn't help, right? They'd need all the help they could get to beat that thing! She'd just have to prove her usefulness to him!

"If you think we're so weak, how about you fight us?" she suggested with a sly smirk. The Bisharp had to take a double take, as well as Castiss. Ace, on the other hand, looked like he had died.

"A-A-Are you… CRAZY?!" he exclaimed, lifting Vix up and shaking her. "We would not stand a CHANCE!"

A hearty, almost unnerving laugh filled the room, coming from Eera. Ace and Vix felt something bad was about to happen, both of them hunkering behind their pillow. Even Castiss leaned away from the Bisharp, his fur standing on end.

"I can't believe it, you actually just said that!" Eera wiped a tear from his eye, still laughing. "Castiss really grew on you, didn't he? No one with any level of intelligence would have suggested such a stupid way to prove themselves!"

He cut his laughs short by glaring at the Litwick with cold, unamused eyes. "You would wish you fought that Golurk instead," Eera's voice would have chilled Vix to the bone, and basically froze Ace solid. There wasn't a hint of exaggeration in what he said, but… there's no way he's telling the truth about that, right?

"We're wasting time. Castiss, let's go," Eera shut his eyes and stood up, heading towards the tunnel. The fox looked back at the two younger Pokemon, waving a goodbye before following behind Eera.

Now alone, Ace and Vix sat in silence, trying to process everything that's happened. After a while, Vix got up and grabbed a couple berries from one of the crates, handing one of them to Ace.

"So… this is something, isn't it?" Ace asked, looking into the fire as he ate his berry.

"Yeah, it is," Vix replied with a sigh. "It's a real mess."

"It could be worse, I think. Like, imagine if we didn't have a cave full of food to hide in?" the Chespin gestured to the space around them and chuckled slightly.

Vix shrugged, focusing more on her food than Ace's attempt at lightening the mood. More silence followed. Being outright told she wouldn't be able to help, and then denied the opportunity to prove otherwise, was hitting her a lot more than she thought it would.

"He's so blunt," Vix eventually said, pushing her berry aside. She barely took a bite out of it. "I know we can help him, we're not useless."

"Why do you wanna help them so badly?" Ace asked.

"I dunno. Why wouldn't I?" Vix looked back. "I owe them, don't I? They saved me twice already."

"That doesn't mean you gotta risk your life to save them. Why should you want to pay them back for something you didn't ask for?"

"Because it's the right thing to do! We both owe them, helping them out is the least we can do!"

"Yeah, I agree, and we can do that by staying in here and doing what he said. Staying out of their way, and not trying to play hero," Ace stated bluntly. "I know that you want to be a hero above everything else, but following behind two guys you just met so you can get killed is not gonna help you."

Vix stared at the Chespin with a blank expression, for like, an uncomfortable amount of time. She was just sitting there… ominously… Then she started snickering to herself.

"Uh… Vix? Are you-" Ace began, before being suddenly silenced by his friend going on the complete other side of the spectrum, bursting and bubbling with energy. Ace lifted the pillow to protect himself from the purple flames that threatened to give him a very unwanted tan.

"That's it! This is his test! He wants me to follow them and give them help anyway!" Vix exclaimed, then devouring her berry, grabbing her little satchel, and started rummaging through the many crates for supplies.

Her companion pulled her away from the crate, placing her back down on the pillow and pointing his digit where her nose would have been. "Don't you even dare. We are not following those guys."

"Ok," Vix floated forward, taking Ace's paw into her candle wax face. She then kept on going, eventually enveloping his arm and shoulder before literally going around him and re-solidifying behind him. "I'll just go by myself then."

Ace shuddered, feeling somewhat violated. "I-I thought you promised not to do that anymore..!" he turned around. "W-Wait, we aren't supposed to follow them!"

"Why would he have made such a show of it if he wanted us to sit here and twiddle our thumbs?" the candle asked, about to enter the darkened tunnel.

"We don't even have thumbs!"

"Exactly!" Vix grinned, making Ace facepalm. "That means you agree with me."

"In what UNIVERSE?!" the Chespin exclaimed, grabbing his bag. "We are NOT going after them, and that's fi-"

...boom...

They both quieted, certain that something just exploded. Was it Castiss and Eera? Eera did have a blast seed with him, but how close would he and Castiss need to be for it's explosion to be audible all the way here? A couple seconds passed and nothing happened, leaving Vix and Ace unsure if that was a good or bad sign.

"C-Call me crazy, but was that from outside the mountain?" Ace gulped.

"Maybe we should head deeper in and not find out," Vix replied, shakily. She turned to the passageway and started walking in, realizing a few moments later that Ace wasn't behind her. "Seriously? Come on!" she ordered.

"B-But Eera said-"

...Grrooooaaahhhhhhh…

Ace had never let out a more high-pitched scream in his life, the result of looking back to see the monstrous green glow that would color his nightmares for weeks to come. It was there, too big to fit in the entrance, but adamant on getting inside regardless. The tunnel walls creaked and cracked, probably nothing more than a inconvenience to the monster it was holding back

"WE'RE GOING, NOW!" Vix shouted, rushing down the tunnel with a terrified Chespin alongside her.

<><><><><>​

It was surprisingly well lit deeper within the mountain. The main light source was the many, multi-colored gems scattered along the walls, floors, and ceilings. Most of them were brown or tan, but a few were that same light purple color as some of those in that haze-filled forest, and fewer still were pitch black or either dark or light pink. The chamber Ace and Vix found themselves in was rather spacious, beautifully decorated with gems.

"Wow, this place looks pretty, uh, pretty," Vix chuckled.

"We're running from a monster, and you're caught up looking at the pretty gems?" Ace started running again, but was stopped by Vix.

"I think we're alright, actually. Look," she turned him around. They ran in a straight line, but there wasn't a tunnel behind them anymore. Just a solid wall. "I think this might also be a mystery dungeon."

"A dungeon inside a dungeon? That just fits right in with the crazy we've seen already," Ace groaned. "So how're we gonna find those guys?"

"Simple, we get through the dungeon. They're probably at the end of it, or maybe we'll get lucky and find them before we even get to the end."

The regular dungeon happenings were easy for them to handle; beat the occasional wild Pokemon, which were usually Baltoy, Cubone, and Roggenrola, find the exit tunnel or stairs, and gather items. Each floor they progressed through felt more spacious than the last, and more abundant in wild Pokemon and items as well.

<><><><><>​

After an hour or so of traversing the mountain dungeon, the simplicity of going from point A to point B was now significantly more complicated. The Haze slowly welcomed itself into the mountain, along with the signature vile stench of the dead forest and the corrupted Golurk, perhaps a sign of them nearing the end? Unfortunately, whether that was the case or not, it wouldn't matter if they couldn't find the exit in the first place. It didn't help that more and more lookalike items were popping up, and the wild Pokemon were growing stronger and more erratic, both possibly due to the haze.

"Alright, this feels like the last chunk of exploring we'll have to do," Vix stated, believing those words firmly. "How're you holding up, Ace?"

"Could be better. I really hate that smell, and I'm a little sore, but I'll manage," Ace replied, confident. "I'm doing pretty good on items too, even snagged a few of those lookalikes, just in case. What about you?"

"I'm alright, kinda wish we grabbed some more of the stuff Castiss gathered in those crates, but we're doing pretty fine, all things considered. Wait… I'm low on orans, only got a couple left."

"Aw, shoot, same here. Let's hope we won't have to use them soon."

Further into the vast floor they progressed, cautious. The gems shrank in number, leaving hardly any light in these lower chambers, but Vix was able to keep that from being a problem. Other than the faint crackling of Vix's flame, it was silent. That Golurk, if it somehow got here, it's weight would be a dead giveaway of its location.

There was a surprising lack of wild Pokemon here, which was a welcomed surprise, since the floor they just left was packed with powerful Baltoy and Roggenrola. But hey, why complain about catching a break? There also weren't any items here, and the stench was getting stronger as they progressed too.

"What's our plan if we run into that Golurk?" Ace asked, focusing on the path ahead. His paws were shaking gently, so he clenched them as hard as possible.

"We do what we did last time, blast seed him until he leaves us alone. I grabbed plenty from those crates, and picked up a few more on our way through the dungeon," Vix replied. "I just hope we don't need to fight it before we find Castiss and Eera."

"You and me both. I mean, I can pitch a mean seed, but there's no telling how many we'll need to take it out for good."

Vix giggled. "You want to try and defeat it? I thought it scared you stiff just by existing in the same room as you?"

"Well, yeah, that's why I wanna get rid of it!" the Chespin huffed and crossed his arms. "But we're definitely gonna need those heroes of yours. It's like the scary one said, we're not exactly as strong as they are."

"We just went through, I don't even remember how many floors of this place I think we might be able to do something to it. At the very least, you have a slight advantage by being a Grass Type. If we run outta seeds, just keep whippin' it," Vix chuckled, turning to face Ace as she floated forward. "I really owe you one for getting wrapped up in this with me. It'd be way less fun."

Ace raised a brow. "This is fun to you?"

"Relatively speaking, yes. Like, I can poke and tease you about your Ribombee girlfriend to lighten the mood and get a good laugh," the candle grinned smugly.

"I do not have a Ribombee girlfriend!" Ace huffed, turning his face away from Vix.

"You're oh so humble, Ace! She must be a lucky gal~"

"That has nothing to do with being humble!"

"See? You are humble! What a great boyfriend you must be."

Ace grabbed a plain seed and shoved it in Vix's mouth, his face red with embarrassment. Despite the teasing, he started to smile and eventually let out a sigh. "I guess I can see what you mean. About me making this more fun, not the boyfriend comment."

Vix finished the seed and went back to lighting their way. It really felt like there weren't any other Pokemon on this floor, they should have walked into one or two by now. Once they came up on another large, open chamber, Vix and Ace sat on the ground to rest for a little bit. If you ignore the smell and the darkness, it was a rather relaxing spot.

They spent some time organizing their items, giving most of the seeds to Ace and almost all the wonder orbs to Vix, and speculated about what Castiss and Eera were up to pass the time. When they were ready to continue onward, coincidentally, another contender had entered the floor.

...thooom...thooom…

Its footsteps echoed through the chambers and corridors, and the stench of the floor got a tad stronger, but fortunately the Golurk was still far away. . Ace and Vix looked at each other, suppressing their fear and focusing on their goal. How it even got down here was beyond them.

They practiced caution at every turn; while hearing the footsteps remain distant was a comfort, if that Golurk dissolved into sand to traverse the floor, they'd need to be ready for it. Ace held two blast seeds in his vines, ready to chuck them at anything big, grey, and trying to kill them.

Ace and Vix reached one incredibly long room, which they didn't give the time to look over as they sped towards the other side. The exit tunnel was in sight, its ominous darkness a saving grace for the pair, had it not been for the strange Marowak standing guard in front of it. Its scales were blue and its belly was black, and there was a black mark on its skull. It was also more slender, and its bone club was longer.

"Is it a wild Pokemon?" Ace whispered. They were yet to be noticed by it.

"I think so?" Vix replied quietly. "If we have to fight it, we might alert the Golurk."

"So what you're saying is, we should blow this thing to bits and run for it?"

"Why do you like exploding things so much?"

Ace shrugged, getting an eye roll from Vix. They got as close to the Marowak as they could without it noticing them. The Chespin pulled out one more blast seed, feeling three should do the trick, and fired them at the Marowak. A green glint shone from its eyes as it sprung to life, swatting two of the seeds to the side and the third one right back at Ace and Vix! Acting off reflex, Ace hit the seed with his vine again, sending it back to the Marowak and actually hitting it this time, knocking it on its back.

The explosions shook the entire chamber, perhaps even the entire floor, and with it stopped the heavy, distant footsteps of the Golurk. Only slightly panicking, Ace and Vix hurried to the exit. They were just about to pass the Marowak when Ace got struck in the back by a bone, knocking him flat on his face.

"Ace!" Vix exclaimed, trying to help him up. "We're right there, get up, please!"

"Owwww…" the Chespin groaned, slowly picking himself up. "That didn't hurt hurt, but it still hurt pretty bad…"

The Marowak growled and slammed its bone on the ground, furious. A ghastly green flame erupted on both ends of the bone, matching the color of its eyes. A chill crawled throughout Vix's body, that green was the same as the Golurk's!

"W-Wait, is this corrupted too?!" she exclaimed, trying to push Ace towards the exit.

"RRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!" the Marowak roared, lunging for the candle and rodent with its club raised overhead. Vix jumped between Ace and the incoming Marowak, the flame on her head dancing wildly. Vix's flame spiraled into a purple, fiery vortex, enveloping the Marowak and sending it back to the ground.

"That won't hold it for long, Ace, let's go!" she stated, floating towards the tunnel. Ace nodded, hurrying behind her.

He stopped just short of entering the tunnel, turning back around to look at the Marowak for a moment. It was engulfed in flames, but it didn't look all that bothered by it. Ace pulled another blast seed from his bag, and the Marowak actually took a step back. Ace reeled his arm back, ready to throw it, but stopped when a panicked look flashed on the Marowak as it ran away.

"...Huh," Ace shrugged, turning to Vix. "Sorry for the hold up, let's get outta here befor-"

Gggrrrrhhhhhhhh…

Speak of the devil. The Golurk appeared before the Marowak, causing the fleeing Pokemon to bump into its leg.

"Uh oh…" Ace gulped. Vix grabbed Ace's arm and pulled him towards the tunnel.

For some reason, he kept watching the two corrupted Pokemon, something about them wasn't right, other than being corrupted, that is. The Marowak backpedaled away from the Golurk, its club raised by shaky arms, and the two corrupted 'mon stared at each other for a moment. If they were talking something of the like, they were too far for either Vix or Ace to hear.

Then, out of nowhere, the Golurk punched the Marowak, launching it all the way back to the tunnel. The reptile crashed into the wall, the purple flames around it dispersing in purple embers, and deep cracks splintered through the wall.

"Wh-Why did..?" the rodent spoke, confused. His gaze met the Marowak's, and they looked into each other's eyes before the corrupted reptile collapsed on the ground. Ace hesitated for a moment, confused about what to do, but Vix pulled him through the exit before he had the chance to decide on his own.
 
Last edited:

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens


Vix and Ace ran until they reached what they assumed was the final chamber of the dungeon; an enormous room packed with dull-colored gems,barely shining enough light to see, a single, wide path leading deeper into the chamber with dark, seemingly bottomless pits on either side, and rich with that ominous haze.

"We can't stop yet, they'll be here any minute," Vix stated, hardly giving her or Ace a moment to catch their breath.

"Ok, but can we at least slow down..?" Ace pleaded, teetering from side-to-side. "My legs are gonna give out if we keep running…"

"We wouldn't need to be running so much if you didn't stop for no reason! If you weren't gonna throw the blast seed, why did you just... stand there?" Vix turned, somewhat upset. "We can't waste time like that."

Ace rubbed the back of his head, not entirely sure what his answer would be. "I-I mean, I was but… I dunno, that Marowak ran off…" he stopped for a moment and thought back on that moment. "It might've just been me, but did it look... scared to you?"

"I wasn't paying attention to the thing that was trying to kill us, because the bigger and more terrifying thing that was trying to kill us showed up, and we had to, you know, get out of there?" Vix replied, but then a more perplexed look came about her. "But… it did look a little scared, I think. It could have just panicked because it didn't want to get blown up, but when it ran into the Golurk…"

They looked at each other, a faint sense of regret growing in their chest. The Golurk obviously struck the Marowak, and Vix and Ace could swear they saw the Marowak shaking in fear before that. Should they have left it by itself? It's not like they could simply just go back, plus the Golurk would still be there. Their plan to combat the corrupted ancient guardian was more of a way to keep it away, if they ran out of items it would catch them with ease, especially if they were carrying a Marowak on their backs. Well, Ace's back, really.

"It's no use stressing on it now, right?" Ace sighed. "We'll just have to keep moving and tell your heroes what happened."

"I guess… I'm just gonna feel bad about it, I should've at least tried to save it but…" Vix shuddered, thinking about the Golurk again. "I was… scared, that monster was right there, and-"

Ace smiled warmly, patting the candle on her back. "You don't gotta tell me, I was way more scared than you were, believe me. Maybe we can go back and help it out once we meet up with your heroes or something."

It was a long, quiet walk along the stone path, leading up to another tunnel that headed further downwards, with even less gems lighting it up. Vix took her role as the literal candle lighting the way, and the two ventured ever deeper into the darkness.

<><><><><>​

With their daily cardio finally taken care of, the exhausted candle and rodent decided the ground was an acceptable place to relax once they reached the end of their descent. It felt like the right choice; nice, cool, and solid. Unfortunately, a pair of strong, fuzzy arms picked them off the ground, but very fortunately, those same arms cradled the two with the gentle, loving care of a mother.

"Fancy meeting you here, guys," Castiss snickered. "You come here often?"

"They had better not, since I forbade them coming down here in the first place," the stern voice of Eera spoke from behind the fox. "If I wasn't busy scolding you, I'd be scolding them for ignoring what I said."

Vix opened her eyes for a moment to confirm the two identities, then shut them again, melting slightly into Castiss' arms. "We couldn't have stayed, that Golurk showed up and we didn't want to stick around and see if it could get through that tunnel."

"But it did anyway, we saw it beat up that weird blue Marowak just before we got here," Ace added, not caring if anyone saw him nuzzling into the fox's soft fur. "I was thinking we should probably go help him, somehow."

Castiss snickered at the two tired Pokemon, bringing them over to Eera. Somewhat curious on where they were, Vix and Ace decided to actually have a look around. There wasn't much to write home about, just a room with some barely luminescent gems, a table with supplies and books, some of those item-filled crates, and an entryway leading to another chamber.

Eera was looking through a bunch of papers and notes, some of which looked rather old, and plenty of them in languages neither Vix nor Ace could understand. Once close enough, Vix hopped out of Castiss' arms and looked over some of the notes Eera was attending to.

"Anything catch your eye?" the Bisharp asked, not looking away from the papers before him.

Admittedly, most of it looked like nonsense, just scribbles and symbols to Vix. There were a few things that seemed to be present in almost every single one of those notes. The Golurk, the Mountain itself, a green flame, and an odd, cracked rock. Of the four, that rock stood out the most, for being the least interesting thing there. "That, the rock thing."

Eera grinned and chuckled. "You have a good eye, as I expected. It's called a Keystone, but we have no idea to or of what, why there's one here, or why so many people before us were looking into it."

"A vast majority of these notes are ancient, and some just downright undecipherable, but that Keystone is always called a Keystone in what I can translate, and it's apparently important to this dungeon and the concentration of haze within it." Eera further explained.

"But that makes no sense, since the haze itself is relatively new," Castiss groaned. "And it's not something that was always here and was just hiding out underground or something. That's what kept us stumped for so long."

"While there is something different with the haze in this part of the dungeon, as well as that dead forest, it isn't so different in the sense that the source could be different from the other hazes we've encountered," Eera stated, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"There's also just something off with this entire mountain, but I can't tell if it's because of the haze or not. It's definitely important, since the mountain shows up almost as much as that Keystone. If it's in the notes, I'm betting it's in the ones we can't make any sense of…"

"Perhaps it's something similar to that dungeon we ventured through prior, with the inverted waterfalls?"

"No, I think that was way different. That jungle didn't feel off like this mountain or that dead forest does. Maybe the desert one?"

"I think not, that was time alteration. Time is running relatively smoothly here, for a dungeon, that is. Although… the haze has some effect on one's perception of time, but to say that was the extent would be premature at best…"

Castiss and Eera went back and forth, bouncing ideas off each other at a rate that overwhelmed Vix, who made the mistake of trying to take it all in. So many things were being said between the two, reverse waterfalls, something about time being messed with, dungeons in jungles and deserts, not to mention some fancy gears and gems and orbs and…

"Wow, you guys talk a whole lot, doncha?" Ace yawned, falling out of Castiss' arms and landing on the table. He didn't look bothered by the fall, shaking it off like it was nothing. "What was the problem again?"

"Th-They're trying to connect this weird looking stone to the gear, I-I mean the waterfall to the desert, wait, no…" Vix spoke, lost in her own thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, we gotta figure out how the mountain and that Keystone are connected," Castiss answered, noticing Vix melting as she tried to understand everything he and Eera were saying. "You two wouldn't happen to know anything about the mountain or that Keystone that could help us, right?"

"That rock thing? No clue. But we do know that the mountain is cursed as heck," Ace grinned proudly. "Some nights, there's a creepy blue glow around the mountain, and anyone that approaches it on those nights is plagued with nightmares for months."

Eera crossed his arms and hummed, frowning slightly. "Here too? That doesn't exactly help us…"

"That's just what happens to the lucky ones, the ones that make it back," Ace continued, a devilish grin on his face. "Those that don't return from the mountain before that glow is gone, are said to become a part of the mountain itself! Scary, right?" he snickered to himself, sending a chill through Vix.

"Wh-Why do you have to be so dramatic whenever you talk about creepy stuff?!" she pouted.

"Only because it gets you so creeped out, really," Ace replied, putting on a menacing face. "I hope you aren't scared about that legend being real, right? What if the mountain's glowing right now? You'll have nightmares of Pokemon screaming, night after night, or become one with the Mountain itself!" he cackled, getting a frightful cry from his candle wax friend. Castiss chuckled, amused, but Eera tossed an oran berry at the back of the Chespin's head.

"Becoming part of the mountain, you say?" Eera asked, his frown softening. "Do you mean they disappear?"

"Well yeah, but it hasn't happened in a long time from what I've heard," Ace replied, having not felt the berry hit his head. "They'd go missing, and never be seen again. Maybe it was that Golurk this entire time…" for some reason, that was too much for Ace to handle. "I-I really hope not…"

Castiss and Eera looked at each other, a smile stretching on both of their faces. They began looking through all of those notes, their eyes and hands/paws moving faster than Ace or Vix could follow. Both fully-evolved Pokemon were muttering things quietly to themselves, so when Eera suddenly spoke up, it made Ace and Vix jump.

"When was your village founded?" he asked, his gaze focused entirely on the papers before him.

"U-Uh… I don't know, it's pretty old," Ace scratched the back of his head. "I know it was waaaaaay before Indul and I showed up. I think mayb-"

"Before Indul, you say?" Castiss chimed in, his ears twitching. "That's enough for now, actually."

"W-Wait, you know Indul?" Vix asked, but she was mostly ignored.

"Indul was still considered active until about, twenty years ago or so, and Ace looks to be a teenager, so they may have moved about ten years ago…" Eera muttered, flipping between multiple pages.

"It might be a century old town, but I'm not too sure about that. This legend feels way too intact for it to be a century old in such a small town where it'd only be spread by word of mouth…" Castiss added, moving the notes around in some sort of order, but neither Vix or Ace could tell.

"Don't count that out, fox, it being a small town helps keep the legend like this, actually. It doesn't sound like it's at all recent, so maybe…"

There they went again, talking and muttering and fumbling with notes, too fast for either of the two onlookers to get a handle on any of what was being said. This time, Vix decided to just let them do what they're doing and wait for an explanation afterwards. She and Ace went to the crates and stocked up on items they were familiar with. Some of the items looked slightly different, almost unnoticeable on a few, but they weren't lookalikes.

After a good while of… whatever the hell they were up to, Castiss and Eera finally presented their finished work to Ace and Vix. It still looked like a sort of mess to the two younger Pokemon, so they waited for an explanation.

"Ok, so, we've decided to almost completely ignore the founding of Timberthicket, which took us down a metaphorical rabbithole that got us nowhere, but we knew time was still a factor," Castiss began, snickering a little.

"But we first decided to sort these by handwriting, since some of these are eerily similar to each other, and it being a coincidence is out of the question," Eera added, grabbing one of the stacks and handing it to Ace. "Tell me, what's so strange about these? Other than the similar handwriting."

Ace looked at the pages for a moment, thinking about it. "I mean, the papers look like… different ages, I think? Some of these are old and brownish, and this one is kinda just yellowish."

Castiss and Eera both nodded, the former taking the lead and speaking. "Exactly! It's the same with all these other stacks, similar handwriting, but the pages differ in deterioration! How could that be, is the question we were trying to tackle."

"And thanks to that legend of yours, I think I know the answer," Eera chimed in, an excited glint in his eye. "What if those who could not leave the mountain when the glow diminishes, didn't really become a part of it? Instead of meeting an untimely demise, they were given something worse…"

Castiss grabbed some of the papers, flipping through to one of the older ones. "It says here, 'It has been several days, and there is still no exit. Whenever I reach the end, I either find more notes, or nothing at all…

If there is someone here with me, I wish for them to know I mean them no harm, and I yearn to meet with someone who can speak with me again,'
which sounds strange, right?"

"Yeah… usually the end room isn't affected by changes to the dungeon, so why would there either be notes there or not?" Vix asked. Ace nodded beside her, pretending to follow along.

"Also, how are you gonna run into someone in a dungeon? It's… it's a dungeon, it's always changing and all that," Ace added. "Well… we did run into that Golurk, so maybe it could actually happen."

"And this one here, which has a similar writing style, reads, 'I believe several months have gone by, and yet I am still here. This cursed mountain is playing tricks on me, it must! I've found notes I am certain I left days ago, and notes with symbols I cannot even begin to understand. There was even a note in my penmanship that I do not recall creating,' even this poor fellow knows something is not right here," Eera said.

"That doesn't sound all that strange I think," Ace scratched his head. "I mean, he did say he was there a while already, why would he remember all the notes he wrote?"

Castiss wagged his claw, grabbing one of the notes with symbols the younger duo didn't understand. "Allow me to either enlighten you, or confuse you further then, 'I've been lost for a few hours, I believe. Imagine my surprise when I found a note here, in a mountain few even bothered to explore…

It is strange that I recognize it, though. Maybe I should bring it back for the others to see, we might have a missing Pokemon on our hands…'
" the fox chuckled at the perplexed looks on Ace and Vix's faces.

Eera grabbed an older looking note with similar symbols, reading it off. "'I can't… I remember now, that note… that first note… it wasn't the first, but the last… I need to leave… the notes, they make no sense… where is the exit? I can't find it, the notes… I lost them all… someone, please… the notes… where are they..?"

"O-Ok, can we stop reading them now and just say what the problem is?" Vix shuddered. "This sounds like a h-horror story in the making…"

"Just a few more, and if you don't come up with the answer before that, we'll tell you," Castiss snickered, reaching for one of the older, more eligible notes. "'That flame, was it always down here? None of those other notes mention it, in fact, mine is the first to even mention it or that Golurk, I think. It was cold, which is weird for a fire. I don't even know where it came from…'"

Ace and Vix both had a double take, the latter of the two exclaiming,. "W-Wait, that one was written after some of the other ones?! It looks like it could turn to dust if I so much as look at it wrong!"

Eera chuckled, grabbing another old one and clearing his throat. "And this is probably the most interesting one, 'I've done it, I got all the notes, I think. I keep finding more, but they look like the others, so I might have just dropped them...

That flame, it did something to me, I can feel it. I've been getting colder and stronger, and it might just be my eyes playing tricks on me, but my scales look kinda blue...

That Golurk changed too, it's way more pissed these days. I so much as look at it wrong and it wants me dead. It reeks too, and now the rest of the mountain stinks along with it. It's so bad it's actually hurting my eyes. Someone should tell that guy to take a bath or something… that jerk also lumbers around and groans a lot, which is new, I thought it the strong, silent, asshole type...'
"

"And I think this is that guy's last note," Castiss took a deep breath and read another note. "'Some guy showed up, don't know or care what he was, but he's blue, had some rock thing, and was covered in the same kinda green flames I messed with forever ago. Feels the same too. He didn't say much, just went deeper into the dungeon and came out a little while later. He did nod at me before he left. Didn't even offer to take me with him, that prick...

Golurk wasn't anywhere to be seen either, which was a relief, but when he came back he acted like he didn't even know me! The nerve of this guy…'"


"This is just getting weirder and more confusing… How many people were in here?" Ace groaned, crossing his arms.

"If everyone that came in here made notes, then maybe ten or so," Eera shrugged. "But that isn't what we need to worry about. There is something special about this dungeon, and that guy with the green flame that this note mentioned, he's the main cause."

"How? If this is the latest note, how did he cause all this creepy craziness?" Vix asked, getting a bright, toothy grin from Castiss and Eera.

The fox yanked off his tattered cloak, revealing a necklace with an eye catching pendant attached to it. It looked like a gear, with a majestic greenish-blue color. It seemed to shimmer as he showed it off to Ace and Vix. "This is based off of something called a Time Gear. If someone has one, they can mess with how time flows; stop it, slow it down, speed it up, or reverse it."

"It is possible for a Time Gear to alter more than just time, if it itself is altered the right way, which is most likely what is going on here. That green flame, the haze, and that Keystone must play a part in it," Eera added, looking through the notes once more. "Several of these mention finding the same exact note in different places, and also point out the notes they don't even recognize the language of… but what about this place would draw such a variety of people here?"

Before Vix or Ace could answer, Castiss excitedly jumped in to do it for them. "Nothing! We only came here because we knew about the dungeon going wonky, which only, like, one of these notes even talks about! So why are so many different Pokemon coming here in the first place?"

Castiss and Eera both look at each other, grinning and chuckling to themselves. Their levels of excitement were almost as scary as what was going on here, especially considering what they're getting excited over. Both of them took a step back from the table, and pointed at Ace and Vix. "People from different places aren't coming here, they already were!"

A brief silence fell upon the group, the fox and Bisharp waiting for a response, and the candle and rodent just as confused, if not more than before.

"H-How are they already here?" Vix questioned.

"In order to explain that, we're gonna have to talk about parallel uni-" Castiss shut himself up, taking on a more cautious stance as his ears flicked and twitched. His head snapped to the tunnel leading to this room, bringing everyone's attention to it as well. The faint, ghastly glow of a flame illuminated more and more of the tunnel as its source drew closer.

Each step was faint, followed by a foot dragging on the ground, up until something fell to the ground with a dull thud, and something else clattering beside it. Castiss slowly approached the tunnel, surprised as he saw what was there. He looked back at the others for a moment, then approached whatever it was, coming back a moment later with a barely conscious, beaten, and bloody reptile.

"It's that Marowak!" Ace jumped off the table and hurried over to it. Vix gasped, shocked at the condition it was in. Its helmet was cracked, one of its legs twisted the wrong way, green blood trickled from its many wounds and mouth, and one of its eyes were bloodshot. It was hard to look at, and it made Vix wonder how it even got here.

Eera and Castiss looked at each other for a moment, then nodded. Castiss leaned the Marowak against a wall, and immediately went to work, meanwhile Eera went through the tunnel. He grabbed an oran from his satchel and crushed it with ease, slathering it on the Marowak's wounds. Then he pulled out some bandage wrap and tightly wrapped it around the Marowak's body, soothing the reptile when it winced and groaned.

Castiss let out a sigh and looked the Marowak in the eye, his paws hovering over the twisted leg. The reptile was hesitant, glancing down at its leg, then back up at Castiss. It shut its eyes and nodded, gripping its bone club tightly. After a three count, Castiss corrected the leg's position, drawing out pained grunts and whimpers from the Marowak. After all that was done, Castiss handed a sitrus berry to the Marowak and turned towards the exit.

"I'm gonna head on up with Eera…" the fox looked back at the Marowak for a moment "Um… heal up, I guess," he waved before leaving.

Not too long after Castiss left, Ace found his gaze again locked with the injured reptile. He walked up to the Marowak and sat in front of it, giving a sympathetic look, which was met with a glare and a growl.

"I'm sorry we left you back there," the Chespin apologized, looking down. "We panicked and… I mean, that giant is just…" he shook lightly, clenching his paws.

The Marowak dropped the end of his club on Ace's head, wincing a bit from moving.

"What was that for?" Ace asked, rubbing his head.

The reptile's glare was still on Ace, but softened after a moment. It looked around the room until its eyes landed on Vix, who was still on the table. The Litwick melted under the Marowak's gaze, it felt like it was staring right through her. It suddenly tried to stand up, using its bone club as support.

"Hey, I don't think you shou-" Ace began, but shut his mouth once the Marowak glared back at him.

The Marowak shambled over to the table, glancing at Vix for a moment before looking over the papers. Aside from the fluttering and shuffling of papers, the room was silent. After a while of searching, the Marowak pulled a tattered note with illustrations of that stone, the Golurk, and wonder stones, and showed it to the Litwick. She only gave it a simple glance, not recognizing the language.

"I'm sorry, I can't read it," Vix shook her head, but took the note anyway. "We can see if Castiss and Eera can, though," she hopped off the table and began floating towards the exit.

The Marowak frowned; she barely even looked it over.

"We. Cannot. Read it," Ace said, shaking his head while pointing at the note in Vix's grasp. A confused grunt from the reptile told Ace efforts to be understood fell flat. "Whatever, let's just go find them…"

Ace and Vix were on either side of the Marowak as they travelled back up the tunnel, getting growls and glares whenever the Marowak looked like it needed assistance. About halfway up, familiar, spine-chilling sounds echoed down the passageway.

...thoom… ...thoom…

The three stopped dead in their tracks. It was only a matter of time before it got down here, that they knew, but they weren't prepared for it. They hoped it would never come down here, as unrealistic as that hope was. Soon, the sounds of battle reached the three in the tunnel, which was enough to break the hold of fear on them.

"Castiss and Eera, they're fighting it!" Vix exclaimed. "Thank Arceus, they're able to fight it!"

Ace looked at the Marowak, who pushed past the candle and rodent. "Shouldn't we bring him back? He's still hurt!"

Seemingly understanding that last statement, the Marowak clutched its club tightly and smacked the wall of the tunnel, cracking it with ease. Two eerie flames sparked to life on the ends of the club, and it looked back at Ace before running up the tunnel.

"Guess that answers your question," Vix chuckled, hiding her nervousness well. "I feel like… they got this. Yeah, they got this. We just gotta believe in them," she convinced herself, floating behind the Marowak.

"Ok, yeah. They can beat that giant rock easily!" Ace stated, hurrying behind Vix. "They'll smash it to bits, then we can get outta this place!"
 
Last edited:

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter Six: A Fight for Survival!



The chamber was ablaze with sparks and flames. Metal striking stone, the roar of flamethrowers, and the eerie groans of a monster filled the ears of all who heard it. The pathway Eera and Castiss battled the Golurk was just wide enough to support the three of them, but with every attack that struck it, or every movement the Golurk made, it felt just one or two wrong moves away from breaking below them.

"Oh, they're actually holding it back. What are the odds that we don't have to help them?" Ace asked Vix, getting an eye roll from her.

"If you really wanna sit this one out, go ahead. Wouldn't wanna get you hurt before your date with your girlfriend now, would we?" Vix joked. Ace grumbled something under his breath, following Vix to the fight.

<><><>​

Eera blocked a mighty blow from the Golurk, grabbing its arm and holding it in place for Castiss to blast it with darkness. The Golurk groaned painfully, throwing Eera off its arm and lurching towards Castiss. Just before it could hit the fox, Marowak slammed its club into the Golurk's leg. The Golem stumbled and fell to its knee.

"Hey, you're up even sooner than I thought!" Castiss snickered, jumping back beside Marowak. "Nice having you on our side!"

Marowak huffed, aiming it's club at the Golurk without really paying Castiss any mind.

"We're here too," Vix said, smiling confidently. "We can beat it together!"

"Your confidence is well appreciated, but ill-founded." Eera said, blunt as ever. "Observe," a faint dark glow formed around Eera's body, condensing around his metal gauntlet. He threw his arm forward, blasting the Golurk in the shoulder with a dark pulse, taking it off entirely.

"Whoa! That was so strong!" Ace exclaimed. "Do it again!"

Eera was about to respond, but Marowak interrupted with a battle cry, the flame on its club turning a deep purple before Marowak slammed the end on the ground. A ghostly purple trail bled across the ground towards the Golurk, crawling up the automaton's leg before exploding in a purple flash. With a hefty thud, the Golurk hit the ground, missing an arm and a leg.

"We should get it now, right?" Vix asked, wondering why no one was moving to hit it again. Sure, kicking something when it's down is a little dirty, but maybe this was different?

A green glow grew around the grounded giant. Its detached limbs sort of… well, the best way Vix or Ace could put it, vanished out of thin air, then reappeared back on the Golurk, like nothing happened.

"Oh…" Ace and Vix took a couple steps or hops back, getting the feeling that maybe this was out of their league.

"Y-You got this, guys!" Vix cheered, several feet away from the fighters.

"Knock 'em dead!" Ace cleared his throat. "Go team!"

Marowak looked back, specifically at Vix, then at Eera, then back to the Golurk. Not knowing what it wanted, Vix decided to pull back for a bit with Ace. The battle was now underway, with Ace and Vix safely viewing it from a distance.

"Alright, we need to come up with a plan to beat that thing for them," Vix stated, floating right beside her Chespin companion.

"H-How?! That thing just… poofed its arm and leg back on!" Ace sputtered, throwing his hands up. "That's, like, cheating!"

"I know, which is why we need to calm down and think, while they fight it off," Vix said, gesturing to them both then the ones fighting respectively. Seeing Ace still semi-panicking, Vix grabbed his face and held it close to hers, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Look at me, alright? We're gonna be fine. We'll think up the best plan we can, and then we'll beat this Golurk and get the hell out of here. But I need you to calm down, ok?"

Ace looked into Vix's eyes and calmed his nerves. His heart rate slowed, and his mind began to clear. "Ok. Ok, I got this. We got this. We're gonna win this fight, go back home, and sleep for a whole week…"

Vix smiled and let go of Ace's face, nodding proudly and turning back to the fight. "Only one week? I'm shooting for a month. But that's for when we get outta here. First thing's first, get rid of the rock guy."

...Gg-gggrrrrrrhhhhh… Hhhhhhhh-hhhhaaaahhh...

Castiss, Eera, and Marowak fought well together. Castiss threw flamethrowers and dark pulses at the Golurk, Eera matched the giant blow-for-blow, and Marowak either used Hex from a distance, or thwacked the Golurk with his club a few times. However, the Golurk shook off most of their attacks, repaired whatever visible damage it took, and groaned painfully through it all.

After firing a Hex, Marowak turned to Vix and let out a sort of bark. It pointed its club at her, then at Castiss, before focusing back on the Golurk. Much like before, Vix had no idea what it was trying to tell her.

"Come up with anything yet?" Ace asked, gently nudging Vix with his elbow.

"I dunno, I'm trying to think but it's a lot harder than I thought…" the Litwick said, shaking Marowak's glance away from her mind. "How do you beat something that cheats?"

Ace rested his chin on his paw and hummed. "Maybe… make it not be able to cheat anymore? What if we smash it to bits so tiny, that it can't cheat itself back together?"

Vix blinked, surprised she didn't think of such a simple solution herself. "That might actually work. Lemme guess… you wanted to bl-"

"Yes I wanted to blow it up," Ace snickered, a devilish grin on his face. "I'm gonna use all the blast seeds we got!"

That would explain why he thought of that before she did. Since it was the only thing either could come up with at the moment, Vix shrugged and went along with the demolition maniac's plan. They had seven seeds between them, which should be plenty. Ace got himself ready, two seeds in his vines, two in his paws, and hurried over to Castiss.

"Hey, we got an idea," Ace said once the fox was done scorching the Golurk with flames. "Remember when you saved me from those Ribombee?"

Castiss glanced down at Ace for a moment, just now noticing the rodent was there. "Yeah, what about that? You're not missing your girlfriend now, are you?"

"Shut up. I wanted to ask if it was you that made that blast seed I threw explode like that," he said, a smile on his snout.

"Yeah it was me. Why are you asking now?" Castiss asked, tilting his head to the side. After looking at the seeds Ace was holding, and the grin on the Chespin's face, Castiss snickered and flashed Ace his own toothy grin. "I see what you're getting at! Heheheh, this is gonna be huge!"

The Golurk groaned as it slammed its fist down on Eera, who just barely managed to block in time. Eera was pushed down to a knee, the force the Golurk pressed down on him cracking his metal gauntlets, as well as the ground beneath him. Luckily, Marowak leapt onto the Golurk's back and beat down on it with its spirit-powered club, which was just enough to irritate the Golurk and try to attack the reptile instead.

"Eera! Marowak!" Vix yelled from Castiss' shoulder. "Distract that rock giant a little bit longer please!"

Eera could tell from the look on Castiss' face, they came up with a plan. He looked at his gauntlets again, the cracks were disconcerting, but he'd be able to manage a few more attacks. With an affirmative nod, Eera cracked his neck and scoffed at the ancient automaton.

"With a plan being set into motion, I've no reason to keep being defensive, do I?" An excited look about him as darkness danced along his body. "They want you distracted, but I'm a bit of an overachiever."

Eera rushed in towards the Golurk and wailed on its mantle with several powerful strikes, the crack on it spreading ever so slightly. Marowak got into a couple more swings with his club before leaping to safety.

...Gggg-gggraaaaahhhhhh..!

The Golurk tried to punch Eera away, but the Bisharp danced around the fist and grabbed hold of the giant's arm. With an incredible show of strength, Eera lifted the Golurk over his head and slammed it on the ground behind him. The pathway shook and cracked further, but held strong still. As the darkness around his body fizzled away, Eera stood on shaky legs over the automaton, panting.

"D-Dammit…" he groaned. The cracks on his gauntlets grew, and tiny cracks appeared on various parts of his body. It hurt a little to move his arms, but it wasn't unbearable at least.

<><><>​

"Alright, the Golurk is down for a bit!" Ace grinned, more confident than over about his plan."Now's our chance!"

Castiss got down on all fours, embers escaping his maw with each exhale he took, and the air around him grew hotter and hotter. "Great, I'm just about done, too. All of you guys ready?"

Ace nodded, readying his vines to launch blast seeds at the grey giant. Vix nodded as well, and Marowak gave an affirmative grunt, both holding one seed each.

"Eera! Get out of the way!" Vix yelled, motioning for him to come to them.

The Bisharp jumped over the Golurk and rejoined his teammates, standing behind Marowak. "What did you two come up with?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Something awesome!" Ace snickered, tossing one last blast seed to Eera. "Let 'im have it Vix and Marowak!"

Vix tossed her seed over to the reptile, who batted it at the Golurk along with his own blasted seed just as the giant got up. The seeds collided with their target, exploding on impact. As the smoke cleared, the Golurk stood there with its arm raised behind a green barrier.

...Gggggg-ggggrrrrrr hhhhhhhaaaahhhh...

"Looks like you owe me one, Ace!" Vix giggled. "You really wanted us to throw them all at once!"

"Whatever, now there's no way we can mess up!" Ace huffed, turning back to the Bisharp behind them. "Chuck that seed as hard as you can Eera!" the Chespin roared, launching his own blast seeds at the stone giant.

Eera was happy to oblige, his arm seeping dark energy as he hurled the blast seed at the Golurk. His moment to act finally here, Castiss opened his maw as bright yellow and orange flames danced inside it. Hardly a moment later, a glorious blast of fire shot from the fox, scorching the path below it as it launched at it's rocky target.

The Golurk raised its arm again, a green barrier forming for all of a second before fading out entirely. The blast seeds were inches away from hitting, but the flamethrower reached them first. The normally emotionless Golurk visibly panicked, trying to protect its cracked mantle with its hands.

GGgGgg-ggahAAhhh..! KKKKK-KRRRAAAAA-AAHHHHHGGGGGH-HAA!

In an instant, the chamber was basked in a blinding light, followed by an earth-shattering explosion that engulfed the Golurk and everything behind it. Yellow, red, and orange flames roared and danced before the group's very eyes. The path, despite its efforts to remain intact, was almost entirely destroyed past the point where the explosion started, smoke and dust filled the air, and just as Ace and Vix hoped, the Golurk was nowhere to be seen.

Ace was entranced by the gigantic eruption of flame that decimated that giant and the path. He watched as the flames died down, entirely in awe. "Did… Did we do it?"

"I think… I think we did..!" Vix replied, a smile stretching on her face. "Oh my god, we actually did it! IT WORKED!" she cheered, her purple flame dancingly excitedly.

Eera was surprised at the size and effectiveness of the explosion, and more so impressed by how quickly Ace and Vix came up with it. "That was, hopefully fatal. The explosive might within a seed that can fit in one's palm is apparently something to be reckoned with."

"Especially when I blast them with all the fire I got," Castiss chuckled weakly, standing back up on two feet. "I'm gonna need to eat coal to get anything outta me now, hehe. Let's head on back and look through those notes… again..?"

Marowak started growling, slowly backing away and looking around frantically for something, bone club ready to strike. At about the same time, Castiss' ears began to twitch and flick. A low rumbling sound rose from the dark below, shaking the ground.

"Is the path about to crumble?" Vix asked, planting herself on Castiss' shoulder. "W-We should probably get moving now, right?"

Everyone turned back and ran towards the end of the tunnel, the rumbling growing louder, growing closer. Just as the group was about to reach the end, everything suddenly quieted. It should have been a relief, but in reality, it was anything but. It was dead silent, and the smoke and dust was still very much present even this far away from the explosion site.

Marowak shivered and gulped, anxious. It quickly looked at Vix, pointing at her bag then at Castiss.

"I-I don't get it! What is it?" the Litwick spoke in a panicky tone.

Without any warning, Marowak grabbed the tiny bag and rummaged through it, eventually pulling out the note that Vix had neatly folded and tucked inside. It then grabbed Castiss' paw and slammed the note into it.

"A note?" Castiss looked down just long enough to see what it was. "Must be important, we can read it inside that safe room."

Exercising extreme caution, the group walked towards the tunnel, to the safety and security it would lead them to. All the while, Castiss' ears twitched and flicked, Marowak let out frightened whimpers, and Eera watched the smoke for even the faintest sign of movement within it.



Castiss' head suddenly snapped ahead of them, his eyes darting around for a moment "N-No way..!" the fox gasped, directing everyone's attention to the path ahead.

Green poured through the particles of dust in the air, almost freezing the air around it. Eera, being ahead of the group, threw his arm back as darkness surrounded him. "Grab them! Now!"

Castiss didn't hesitate, grabbing Ace, Vix, and Marowak and jumping away from Eera and the green glow. Eera rushed headfirst into what seemed to be danger, thrusting his arm forward, embedded with dark energy. The force and speed of Eera's attack cleared the smoke, revealing there to be nothing.

"Wh-What?!" the Bisharp stepped back, fear creeping up his spine.

"Eera, it's-!" Castiss voice was heard for only a moment, and then…

KKKKRRRRRHHHHHHAAAAAA-GGHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!

The Golurk was above Eera, moments away from crashing down on him. It felt like time had slowed. Eera was already in need of repair, and there wasn't any doubt that the Golurk would greatly worsen his state. The Bisharp shut his eyes, breathing deeply. A thick, dark aura enveloped him, and he then relaxed.

"EERA!" Castiss cried out, running forward just as the Golurk crashed down on Eera, shaking the ground violently and sending more dust into the air. Castiss looked on, a dreadful chill crawling under his skin. He gripped his chest and fell to a knee, breathing heavily. "N-No..! Dammit!" The fox glared daggers at the giant, growling furiously. "I-I'll smash you! I'll turn you to dust, you hear me?!"

...Gggggggrrrrraaaahhhh..! HHHHHAHAAAAAAA-AAAAAHHHH..!


A brief flash of green shined through the dust, followed by the sound of metal suddenly expanding and shrapnel tearing through stone. Marowak stood in front of the others, protecting them as metal shards flew past them. It winced as some of the shards pierced its body, but stood strong regardless.

"Marowak!" Vix exclaimed. The reptile gave a reassuring grunt, pointing again at the note on the ground before turning back to the cloud of dust, battle ready.

A heavy thud shook the ground, and the dust began to disperse to partially reveal Eera. Green smoke mixed with the dust, making it hard to see most of him, but it was clear that he was cracked and broken. The blade on his helmet was mostly gone, the helmet itself looked as if it was about to split, jagged lines spread along his face and body, and what looked like green smoke rose from the cracks.

"Hahh… Hahh…" the Bisharp fell to his knees, more metal breaking off of him.

"Eera!" Ace and Vix both exclaimed, relief and worry flowing over them. Castiss' face lit up, a joyous grin on his snout. He tripped over himself trying to get over to Eera, but was stopped by Marowak again directing his attention to the note it tried so desperately to get the fox to read. Castiss growled lightly, planting himself on his bottom and opening the note.

"This note better be impor- oh…" Castiss read the note to himself, a smile slowly stretching across his face. "This is very important…"

"What does it say?" Vix asked, her and Ace looking over Castiss' shoulders.

The fox didn't respond, looking over the note once more before jumping to his feet. "It's how we beat the Golurk…" he finally answered, getting a smug look from Marowak.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?!" Castiss pouted, getting a growl and a glare from the reptile. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. You can clobber me later, but right now I need you to grab Eera. Alright?" Marowak nodded, running over to the injured Bisharp. "Vix, Ace, I need you to find a cleanse orb, a nullify orb, and a health orb. We should have plenty in those crates full of items."

"Gotcha," Vix replied. "Actually, we already have a cleanse orb, so we're almost halfway there!"

"Not quite, but… I'll explain later. Just get those orbs and Eera can take it from there," Castiss said, shooting a confident grin before cracking his neck. "I'll handle it from here, so hurry and get back here so we can finish this once and for all!"

Vix nodded, then she and Ace followed behind Marowak. They passed by the Golurk, seeing it spasm and jolt on the stone floor. It groaned quietly, like it was in pain, which felt… unnatural. Not wanting to stay too close to it for too long, the three hurried over to Eera. He was swaying gently, and his eyes were barely able to stay open. This close, it was clear to see that smoke was escaping through the cracks in his body, hiding whatever was under it.

"Eera, are you alright?" Ace asked, getting the Bisharp's attention.

"I… am, absolutely not…" Eera weakly replied, giving a faint smirk. "I can't… I can't get up, not on my own."

Marowak nodded, placing Eera's arm around its shoulder and heaving him onto its back with the help of Ace's vines. The rodent and reptile pause for a moment, glancing at each other briefly before continuing down the tunnel.

<><><>​

The moment they reached the end of the tunnel, Marowak and Ace laid Eera on the floor, and Vix grabbed several berries and reviver seeds from one of the crates. They fed a reviver seed to Eera, then Vix and Ace went to work trying to find a health orb for whatever it was Castiss had planned.

"What's the plan? I assume that would be the reason we came back down, correct?" Eera asked, trying to sit himself up and getting help from Marowak to do so.

"Marowak found the note telling us how to get rid of Golurk, we just gotta get a few orbs first," Ace answered. He dove into a crate and tossed out all the orbs he could find.

"After that, Castiss said you'd take care of the rest," Vix added, looking through the scattered orbs. She grew increasingly angry, eventually throwing an orb against a wall. "UHG! Why are there so many hurl orbs?!" Vix spat, throwing more of the orbs.

"What are you- whoa- doing?!" Ace asked, narrowly avoiding an orb to the face.

Despite Vix's small size, she threw like a champ. One of the orbs bounced right off a wall, ricocheted off a crate, and rocketed directly towards Eera. Marowak managed to raise its club and blocked the orb, but the force of the orb colliding with the club was more than Marowak thought. A second later, the club smacked Eera in the face.

Ace winced, slowly descending back into the pool of items, and Vix melted into a shameful puddle of wax and regret. Marowak, surprisingly, tried to apologize and went to touch where its club smacked into. It reeled back slightly when it touched the Bisharp, but tried to help anyway by smashing an oran and rubbing the paste on Eera's face.

"E-Eera?" Vix bubbled.

"I'm fine, yes," Eera replied flatly, taking Marowak's paw away from him. He sighed, standing himself up without assistance and looking over at the crate holding Ace. "Have you found the orbs yet?"

Ace popped out with one nullify orb, looking proud of himself. "I got one of them, which was a lot harder than I thought. How many hurl orbs can one dungeon have?"

"Technically, an infinite number," Eera chuckled. "It also didn't help that you went into the crate full of entirely projectile-based items. The only reason you even found a nullify orb in there is because Castiss didn't sort the crates thoroughly."

Vix solidified herself and looked at the crate, clearly labeled "Throwin' stuffs" in sloppy handwriting. She let out an aggravated groan and went over to a crate labelled "The opposite of hurt." Almost immediately, she found a health orb and tossed it over to Eera.

"We're one step closer to getting out of this mess, finally…" Vix sighed, handing her cleanse orb as well. "So, what're we gonna do now?"

Eera looked down at the orbs, thoughtful. Suddenly, it was like something clicked in his mind. "I think… I know what he's getting at. Let me see if I still can…"

He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. His dark aura started crackling around him, reacting strangely with the orbs he held. The orbs levitated slightly above Eera's hands, moving closer together. Eera let out a pained grunt as he moved his hands to almost force the orbs even closer, his aura enveloping him more and more. Once the orbs were basically touching, green sparks started flying off of the orbs, and Eera winced and growled, the cracks reforming on his body. The Bisharp gave one final push, but instead of the orbs coming together they exploded in a blinding flash of green, blowing Eera back into the wall behind him.

"Eera!" Vix and Ace exclaim, going to the Bisharp's side. They, as well as Marowak, tried to help Eera up, but was politely declined.

"I'm fine, but I can't do what Castiss needs me to do," Eera sighed, looking at his injured self. "Looks like we're going to have to do this the hard way."

"Does the hard way include none of us being put in mortal danger and beating Golurk without trying?" Ace asked, hoping to get a yes, but knowing that wasn't going to happen.

"Yes, actually," Eera replied. Ace's face lit up for just a moment, until he heard the Bisharp snickering under his breath. "Well, technically yes. If we play our cards right, we can get in close to the automaton and do what we need to effortlessly. But, that would require it to stay in one place long enough to do so."

"Oh man, if only we had literal crates full of items that could help with that…" Vix sarcastically groaned, floating into a crate labeled "The reverse of the reverse of statuses."

"Where could we possibly find something like that?" Ace followed Vix's lead, his eyes shining at the sight of a crate simply labeled, "boom." He wasted no time diving in and grabbing as many blast seeds as he could stuff into his satchel.

"That is all well and good, but if we were to afflict something onto the Golurk, one of these orbs would be used on getting rid of that affliction," Eera shook his head. "I do not think the answer requires explosives either. I feel that more or less made things worse for… one of us," he winced, rubbing his fractured chest.

"Awww…" Ace sighed, dumping a sea of seeds back into the crate. He did, however, keep quite a few.

"We've been able to stun the beast on our own rather well. Let's rely on our own strength, then Castiss can put forth whatever plan he has." Eera stood up, red bits of metal falling from his body. He tried to walk, but his steps were shaky and uneven. Right before Eera could fall, fortunately, Marowak lent him its bone club for support. "Thank you. Normally, Metal Burst is my last resort, thanks to its heavy toll on my body. I regret handing the responsibility of this battle on you all, but I have no other choice. I'm sorry."

Vix floated towards the Bisharp's face and smiled warmly. "You've basically been handling this fight on your own since it started! We'll handle it from here."

Marowak huffed and crossed its arms, insulted that its efforts were put aside for the sake of making Eera feel better, but went along with it and nodded anyway.

"I really hope you aren't taking after Castiss, for everyone's sake," Eera chuckled.

Vix snickered, her flame dancing happily. "Alright, that's enough stalling. Let's hurry and end this once and for all!"

"Oh god, you almost sound exactly like him…" Eera said. "But you are right. As strong as he is, Castiss can only do so much on his own."

As prepared as they could be, everyone sped back up the tunnel. Ace's heart was pounding and Vix's flame was burning brightly, both out of excitement, adrenaline, and a bit of fear. They didn't really notice until now, but this was their first serious mission; there was something at stake here, but they didn't let that pressure get to them. They both swore to see this through all the way to the end.
 
Last edited:

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Chapter 7: The Final Stretch!



The entire mountain shook, and Castiss could sometimes be heard over the sounds of attacks clashing and rock shattering, either pained, angry, or a mix of both. Fortunately, the fox was fine, only a tad beat up and out of breath. The Golurk, on the other hand, was cracked and basically falling apart, with the only thing seemingly keeping it together being the blue and purple flames pouring from its mantle. It twitched and jerked sharply, and the groans it emitted were… more than the usual amount of unsettling.

Aaaaaaa-aaaggghhhhh… hhhhhhhhhee-eeeeeeee-aaahhhhhh…

Castiss noticed when the others had arrived, but didn't take his eyes off the Golurk for a second. "You guys found the orbs, right? Did Eera do his thing?"

"I'm afraid I could not. Metal burst ruined my body more than I expected," Eera replied, handing Marowak back its club. "Fortunately, I believe we can still pull off your plan with the orbs separated."

Castiss nodded, handing the note to Eera. "We can, just gotta get all three orbs inside its mantle at the same time. I think I can do it myself but… I've already reached my limit and I'm getting weaker by the second."

"Don't forget about us!" Vix exclaimed, her, Ace, and Marowak standing beside Castiss. "We already promised to take over for Eera, and we'll do the same for you too!"

"Get back whenever you need to, Castiss. Just tell us what to do, and we'll try not to get smashed in the process," Ace added with a chuckle, the back of his head getting to meet the mean end of Marowak's club once again. "H-Hey, what was that for?!"

Eera chuckled, glancing over at Castiss. "They're almost as overly cocky as you."

"Isn't it cool? It's like I'm the cool one between us now," Castiss stuck out his tongue and grinned. "You jealous or something?"

"No, mostly just worried about them. You have a tendency to uh, go too far and hurt yourself."

"Which is why I'm still fighting, and you're broken like glass that met the mean end of a bat?"

Eera rolled his eyes and backed away. "I'll be counting the seconds until you're inevitably knocked flat on your ass, and I'll laugh the entire time too."

Ace butted in to the fox and Bisharp's little chat, noticeably worried. "Uh, it's doing something..!" he said, pointing a vine towards the Golurk.

The Golurk's flames violently lashed out of its body, breaking its body even further. A ghostly chill filled the air, and despite the fire expanding, the chamber grew slightly darker. Vix kept herself calm, for the most part, but Ace and Marowak were, in their minds, reasonably upset.

"What the hell?! It's getting stronger?!" Ace exclaimed, he and Marowak throwing their arms forward in utter frustration. "We've been fighting this thing for how long, and it's still running?! What does this thing run off of?" The rodent and reptile both stomped on the ground, their anger almost strong enough to heat the air around them.

Aaaaaggghhhhh, aaa-aaaaaagghhhhh…

Vix shuddered, the agonized groan of the automaton echoing in her head. It would have chilled her to the bone, if she had any. She stared at the stone giant, swearing that it stared back at her. It's broken, ancient body, bleeding an ominous fire, was still for a moment. No more jittering, no more twitching, it just stood there…

"Hey, Vix!" Castiss snapped his claws, getting the candle's attention. "You alright? Need a minute?"

"Huh? N-No, I'm good, it's just… nothing, I think," Vix replied, shaking her head. She then realized that she was in the fox's arms, and that he was crouching down, protecting her.

"Sweet, cool, because we're a little under attack, and you were just standing there. I kinda had to pick you up and get you out of the way," Castiss chuckled, wincing slightly. "For a fire that makes things cold, it really stings."

Vix looked over Castiss' shoulder, seeing Marowak warding off a wall of flame, and Ace hiding behind him. Eera was sheltered in the tunnel's entrance, and the Golurk was slowly approaching, it's roaring fire spreading like, well, a wildfire.

"We're off to a rough start, honestly, but we still got this. Just gotta stay calm and do that focus thing Eera talks about," Castiss stood up and rolled his neck. "There's only so far that will get me, but you guys can probably manage really well doing it," he looked at the Golurk before glancing down at Vix. "Got any ideas, by any chance?"

The Litwick shrugged. "I don't really know anything that could help, we'll just have to try hitting it from far away until something gives, I guess."

"If we need to blast this thing, I can do that with ease! Well, me and Marowak could, I think," a confident smirk shined from Castiss' snout as he made his way over to the reptile.

<><><>​

Marowak spun its club to battle the incoming flames, but they proved to be a challenge and kept the reptile and rodent in place. Ace stayed behind Marowak, which was surprisingly the safest place, and looked through his bag for something that would help. Other than his assortment of seeds, most of which being blast seeds, and his all-mach orb, there wasn't a whole lot to use.

"Alright, ok, we're gonna be fine!" Ace told himself, tightly gripping a stun seed. "If we stun it, we can get close and smash it! Yeah, we can handle that!"

"That's a pretty good idea, actually," Castiss' voice suddenly appeared beside Ace, startling the rodent enough to almost drop his stun seed.

"We already know the plan, get the Golurk to stop moving long enough for us to shove the orbs into the mantle," Vix said, mostly confident. "I hope you have enough blast seeds, you get to blow that rock to hell!"

"Don't gotta tell me twice!" Ace grinned, replacing his stun seed with two ripe blast seeds. "I think Marowak and I can send some serious hurt that giant's way! But, the flame is kinda hard to work around right now."

Castiss patted Ace on the head and smirked. "I can handle that, nothing a good ol' dark pulse or two can't fix."

With a rudimentary plan set, Castiss and Vix went towards the center of the stone path, and Ace and Marowak stayed off to the side. Taking a deep breath, Castiss got low and aimed his paw for the Golurk. As dark energy pooled before him, the fox winced.

"I'm not sure how many of these I can do, so once I clear this path, tear that Golurk to pieces!" Castiss said, firing a blast of darkness that dispersed the chilling flames and struck the Golurk, pushing it back lightly. After his attack was done, Castiss fell to a knee. Marowak and Ace gave the fox a worried glance, but Vix ushered them to get the Golurk and not to worry about Castiss.

Marowak rushed down the path, slamming its club on the ground to send a hex towards the Golurks legs. Ace threw a blast seed right before the hex activated, the combined explosions causing the flames to disperse for a moment and the automaton to stumble. Two more blast seeds struck the giant, hitting it's shoulder and mantle, and taking the arm off in the process.

Hhhhhh-hhhhhheeeeeeeaaaa-aaaagggggghhhh..!

More flames erupted from the Golurk, reattaching its arm, further cracking the mantle, and burning across the ground towards its attackers. The air was frigid, and Marowak and Ace were about to be engulfed in the incoming fire. Luckily, another blast of darkness took care of the fire, coming from a nearly collapsed Castiss.

"D-Dammit, hah... I'm more worn out than I thought," the fox panted, giving Marowak and Ace a thumbs up. "Keep at it, I'll be f-fine."

"Alright, you and Vix stay safe, please," Ace nodded, grabbing two more blast seeds and following Marowak closer to the Golurk. There were only three more blast seeds in his bag, but he had plenty of other seeds too. Stuns seeds, totter seeds, and even a vile seed. "I wonder which one I should use…"

Marowak suddenly yanked Ace back, just narrowly saving the rodent from a giant stone arm slamming down on him. Turns out Ace didn't stop running when he checked his bag, and nearly ran into the Golurk, if not for Marowak. The reptile struck the automaton several times before jumping back and slamming its club on the ground again, casting another hex that exploded on the Golurks' legs. Ace panicked and threw the blast seeds he held, one exploding on the Golurk's head, the other missing entirely.

"Aw," the Chespin groaned, getting back to Marowak's side. He put on a confident grin and snickered, getting a strange look from the reptile beside him. "Anyway, I think I have an idea. I'm throwing everything I have at it! And by me, I mean you, and by throw, I mean you hit the seeds right at that giant rock!"

Marowak deadpanned, but shrugged and went with it anyway. Ace pulled a heaping pile of seeds from his satchel, his confidence turning into excitement. He tossed the seeds into the air, catching Marowak off guard. There was hardly any time to react, but the reptile managed. A green flame-like aura engulfed Marowak as it leapt into the air and began batting the seeds at the Golurk. Not a single seed that Marowak hit missed its mark, the stun and totter seeds hitting the Golurk's limbs and head, while the remaining blast seeds and vile seed landed back in Ace's paws.

AAAAA-AAAAAAAGGGHH-GHGG GGGGAAAAHHHHHH!

Dreadful cries filled the chamber as the automaton's body jerked and spasmed. Blue and green flames erupted from inside the mantle, further wrecking its own body. Marowak gave a cold stare, while Ace looked on, confused. It was almost like the Golurk was in pain, which is weird because the seeds it was hit with don't even hurt.

"Alright, let's knock it down!" Ace shook his head and looked over at Marowak, ready to throw the last seeds. "Ready?"

"Wait!" Vix called, hurrying over with the cleanse, health, and nullify orbs they needed. She handed one to Marowak and the other to Ace. "The moment that rock is down, we gotta get these in it, remember?"

Marowak and Ace nodded, the latter readying the vile seed, and the former already prepared to launch the seed at its target. Ace tossed the seed towards Marowak, and in the blink of an eye the seed was hit right out of the air with a mighty KRAK. It rocketed forward and crashed into the Golurk's head.

AAAAAA-GGGGGGHHHHH! GGGRRRR-AAAAA-AAAGGHHH!

Vix winced, watching the mostly expressionless giant hold its head in what had to be agony. She tried to shake the scream out of her mind, but it echoed relentlessly in her candle wax head.

Seemingly unaffected by the giant's screams, however, Marowak fired one of the blast seeds at the Golurk, the seed being strong enough to break the giant's arm clean off, and disrupt the flames pouring from its body.

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!

Vix had to cover where her ears would be, that shriek was painful to listen to. She looked up at the automaton, seeing it hold its broken shoulder and stumble. The flame was faltering, which is good, but the body was starting to fall apart. As the fire shrank, the cracks spread further and faster across its body.

Ace and Marowak winced at the cries coming from the Golurk, sounding like stone scraping together. The rodent tossed up another blast seed, that was sent flying at the giant, striking its leg and shattering it. The Golurk hit the ground with a mighty THUD, shaking the ground.

HHHHhhhHhhHHAAAAaaaaagggGGGHGHGGghhhG! AAAaaaRrRRRAAGGgggGGhH!

"Stop! Th-That's enough, we knocked it over already!" Vix exclaimed, unable to bear the screams any longer.

Marowak looked at the fallen giant, then back to Vix. Why she was so worked up, he assumed was due to the stress of this fight. It grabbed the heath orb it was given, then grabbed Ace and Vix and leapt over to the fallen Golurk.

The air around its body was bitterly cold, as if the heat was being sucked right out of the air. Despite it basically falling apart, the Golurk still felt dangerous to be close to. It kept groaning, as if it was breathing, which made Ace and Vix's skin or wax crawl.

H-hhhhh… hhhhaaahh… hhh-haah...

The three approached the mantle, the blue fire swirling within it. Ace, Vix, and Marowak, held their orb above the Golurk's broken body, ready to drop them at the same time.

"On the count of three, we drop them, alright?" Vix asked, getting a nod from Ace and Marowak.

"One… Two… Thre-"

Hh-hhehh… He-elp…

Vix froze, her flame shrinking instantly. It spoke. It just... spoke. She turned towards the head, hoping she was just hearing things.

Hel-p… Mmmm-mmeee…

'It spoke again. It's in pain. Was it some trick? It can't speak, it hasn't spoken this entire time!'

"Vix…"

'Oh Arceus, no, i-it's gotta just be me! We didn't… I didn't just…'

"Vix..!"

'What did I do?! They said it was built! They called it an automaton! It wasn't alive! It ISN'T alive!'

"VIX!"

Ace's voice finally broke through, snapping her out of her panic. She was still holding her orb, and the others weren't. The swirl of fire within the mantle began lashing out and expanding, and the Golurk's body was on the brink of falling apart completely. Blue and purple light shined through the cracks of the fallen giant, and everything began to rumble and shake.

"The orb!" Ace yelled, pulling himself away from the retreating Marowak. "Throw in the orb!"

Vix didn't say a word, holding the nullify orb over her head to slam it into the mantle, but it was too late. The mantle exploded in a brilliant flash of blue and purple, blowing Vix and Ace away from it.

Castiss tried to get to the others, but the force of the explosion was too much for his weakened body to withstand. He had to watch Ace and Vix be engulfed in the flames, then Marowak, and in a moment it would take him as well. The fox looked back at Eera, reaching for him as his body was wrapped in the cold flames.

Eera wasn't at a point where he could get away, but with how fast the fire was approaching, he wouldn't get far even if he was at one-hundred percent. It was only a second after Castiss was gone that Eera was met with the same fate.

The entire chamber was suddenly engulfed in the flames, an endless void of screams filling their heads, growing louder and louder until...

<><><>​

Vix finally came to, feeling cold, dead soil beneath her, and an utterly putrid odor in the air. As she opened her eyes a heavy haze impaired her vision, only able to make out the shapes of dead or sickly trees. It was even colder than earlier, and it was starting to get to her.

"Is this… outside..?" she muttered, pushing herself off the ground. Ace was there too, but it didn't look like he was awake. No one else was present, which was a bit worrying.

"Hey, Ace?" Vix poked the Chespin's side. "You ok?"

Ace grumbled and shuffled a bit, eventually opening his eyes and looking up at Vix. "What happened?"

"I dunno, but we're outside again. I don't know where the others are though," Vix helped Ace to his feet.

The haze began to shift and flow, moving away from something behind them. The rodent and candle looked back at the mountain, eyes wide at the bright blue and purple blaze around it. Ace gulped, remembering what this meant.

"You two…"

A voice pierced through the haze, distorted beyond recognition.

"I should be thanking you, Litwick…"

Hearing it again, it was clear that there were multiple voices, far too many to count. Vix and Ace held their heads, remembering the well of screams that tormented them just before blacking out. A familiar blue glow appeared before them, a ring of fire, and in it's center stood a shattered Golurk. No lights came from its ancient engravings, in fact, it was dull in color aside from the flames bursting through its cracks. The body never moved, it was lifeless and falling apart.

"Wh-Who… What?" Vix managed to say, moving slowly backwards.

"This worthless husk has fulfilled its purpose. I've no use for it now. If not for you, I wouldn't have three more to choose from."

A swirl of blue, flame-like energy left the mantle, purple orbs appearing within it that circled around a jagged face. It looked directly at Vix, indifferent.

"Y-You're… you're not…" the Litwick stuttered, a look of horror on her face.

"I have granted you and your friend mercy, you pathetic mortal. Choose your next words wisely."

"You're not the voice… I heard…" Vix covered her mouth, her eyes falling upon the lifeless automaton behind the menacing swirl of energy. "You… you monster!"

"Ha! Do you think I care? I've been bestowed this fool by the acts of a monster far beyond you for an eternity, it is my slave, MY chosen vessel! Its entire existence was being my body, and you gave it a glimmer of hope that it could escape that fate. So, isn't it ironic that you are the ones to kill it?"

The face laughed, grinning evilly at the two smaller Pokemon. Ace was speechless, his fear unable to let him speak, and Vix was brought to tears.

"N-No! We didn't! It wasn't us! We didn't… w-we didn't..!" Vix cried, distraught.

"It was… it was made wasn't it? It wasn't… it couldn't have been alive?" Ace finally spoke.

The swirl stretched itself closer to the pair, taking in their remorse and regret.

"It was no less alive than the both of you. But now? It's more dead than all of these fools."

Blue flames appeared around Vix and Ace, showing warped forms of several Pokemon, their faces distorted in screams. There were so many of them, so many voices, so many screams. After being subjected to the visions in the flames, Ace and Vix realized that most, no, all of them were Fire Types.

"Fascinating, isn't it? All of these are recent, you know. They came traveling in groups, then that beastly fox beat them within an inch of their lives, it was glorious! I haven't witnessed such pure, unbridled, violence in countless millennia! It's a shame a few were always let go, a mercy granted far too few times. Even when I pursued the runaways, the strongest of them always managed escaped, fearing for their worthless lives!"

Ace and Vix froze.

"F-Fox..?" Vix muttered, her flame flickering irritably. "Y-You mean…"

"Castiss..?" Ace finished, clenching his fist tightly.

"Is that what it's called? That's deliciously ironic! It's a shame I'll keep it in darkness to fester long enough to forget it. My vessels need to be in the peak of their ability, and this Castiss absorbs darkness like a sponge! The metal one, however, I'd much rather enjoy tearing him apart and putting him back together, like he did so graciously for me."

"NO!" Vix shouted, her flame erupting with her growing fury. "I won't let you lie about Castiss! I won't let you take them!"

"They're heroes! There's no way they'd lose to some monster like you!" Ace added, growling angrily.

They're adorable little show drew a chuckle from the face.

"And who are you to stop me? You had your chance, but the candle's hesitance has killed this Golurk, and doomed your companions to eternal servitude under my rule! Besides, they'll fit right in, a being of darkness, its mindless beast, and a trespasser of time itself. If not for the grace of yours truly, they'd be burning in the deepest pits of hell to atone for their sins."

"LIAR!" Vix and Ace exploded, purple flames dispersing from the former and vines from the latter.

Purple, ghostly strands traveled along the ground, exploding under the swirl and pushing it back to the lifeless body it puppeteered. Then, two vines shot through the smoke, whipping the swirl violently.

"INSOLENT WORMS! I granted you a chance to live you short, pathetic lives, but I will gladly help quicken your approach to the end!"

"Like hell you are!" Ace shouted, hitting the swirl relentlessly with his vines. "I didn't go through all of this just to lose, and neither did Vix! Don't know if you know this, but we're heroes, just like Castiss and Eera!"

"You have mistaken heroism for DEATH!"

Several purple spheres appeared before the face, firing at Ace and Vix. Ace grabbed hold of Vix and turned his back to the incoming attacks, a protective shield appearing behind him just in time to block a few. Vix fired a blast of embers at the face, hitting it directly, and further enraging it.

"You fight in vain! Accept your deaths with dignity!"

Ace grabbed the last blast seed from his satchel, giving Vix a nod before launching it as hard as he could at the swirling menace. Vix, at the same time, fired a denser blast of embers, striking the blast seed inches before it hit the face, creating a brilliant explosion that engulfed the face and the Golurk's body entirely.

"For everyone's sake, we're gonna make sure you don't leave this dungeon!" Vix declared. "We promised Castiss and Eera we'd finish this, and I intend to keep it!"

"What kind of heroes would we be if we lost to you, stupid swirl with a mouth that can't shut the hell up?" Ace spat.

"The same as every other fool who thought they could oppose me, DEAD! My darkness, my limitless malice… is far greater than some brats!"

Ace spotted a crate full of items, promising to thank Castiss and Eera for their prep work coming to save them in the end. It was rather far, unfortunately, but another convenience came to light. He pulled out his all-mach orb and activated it, a surge of speed filling Ace and Vix to the brim.

"Then these brats are gonna be the first ones to beat you!" Vix declared, just before she and Ace sped towards the item crate. The pair were just about to reach it, when something… happened. One moment, the crate was there, the next, the Golurk's body stood directly before them.

"I will savour the taste of your fear and regret once this is over!"

The giant arm of the lifeless giant reached for Ace, who was quick enough to side step it. Vix summoned another hex to destroy the Golurk's leg, wincing as it shattered entirely. She then flew into the crate, then realizing that it was full of nothing but blast seeds.

"How unforgiving, you defile the body of the innocent Pokemon you kill? And you call me the monster?"

"Zip it, snaggletooth!" Vix growled, shooting more embers at the jagged face. Ace rejoined her and looked the crate over. Blast seeds, perfect.

"I have an idea," Ace said, grabbing vinefuls of seeds. "Just keep hexing this monster until I'm ready." Vix nodded, glaring at the swirling face.

"For every blow you land on me, I shall grant you a decade of torment and anguish!"

"Your evil talk is getting annoying! I've heard enough of it!" Vix groaned, shooting embers at the face. All the while, Ace planted blast seeds all around the giant's body, hoping to not be noticed just yet.

"Then allow me to welcome you to eternal silence, you waste of wax!"

"How about we welcome you to a world of fire?" Ace spoke from behind the face, whipping it a few times before running to safety next to Vix and the crate. "Now!"

Vix fired embers at the planted seeds, a cascade of explosions lightening up the dead forest. A powerful gust of wind rushed past the pair, hopefully a sign that the fight was over?

"Oh please, that was hardly a hiccup."

Ace instinctively dove into Vix, his protect failing as a mighty fist struck his back and launched him and Vix away.

"Ace!" Vix exclaimed once they hit the ground, looking angrily at the swirling face.

"That should have been more than enough to be rid of that rat, now for you…"

As the face went on, probably talking about some evil thing it was going to do after this, Vix noticed the Golurk's body flickering faintly. Then, without the face noticing, it jolted back to life. Vix remained silent as the Golurk turned around and grabbed the crate closely, then it looked at her.

For a moment, it was just them, no Ace, no evil face, no forest. Neither spoke a word, but Vix understood what it wanted to do.

Realizing that the Litwick was looking past it, the swirl turned back to see the Golurk, somewhat alive and well.

"You're still alive? Persistent fool, your suffering was ov- wait… what are you..?"

The face looked back at the Golurk, seeing it tightly hold the crate, and its eyes widened with rage.

"You… You DARE act against me?! I'll see to it that your soul NEVER reaches the afterlife!"

Vix shot another blast of embers, this time at the crate. She felt the explosion would be grand, and braced for impact, when a fuzzy pair of arms wrapped around her.

"Ace!" She exclaimed before being pulled into his arms as he curled up. A moment later, everything went white, the deafening roar of an explosion filled the air, and the pair could feel themselves being helplessly blown away.

Although… amidst the roar of the explosion, Vix heard a faint voice calling out to her.

Th-ank… Yo-u...

<><><>​

Ace, still curled up with Vix in his arms, slammed into a tree and fell to the ground, his protect lasting through the explosion, but his body ached greatly from it. He let go of Vix and laid on his back, panting heavily. They landed in an entirely different part of the dungeon, full of life and free of that vile stench.

"That was… so cool," Ace said between breaths, not bothering to move. "I can barely feel my anything."

"The Golurk… it helped us," Vix sighed, melting slightly.

Ace used a vine to pat Vix on the back, or what might have been her back. "I'm… conflicted, on what to feel about that too. Can't imagine it liked getting blasted over and over, and over… and, uh, you get the idea."

"Right, yeah, we did do that a lot…" Vix melted further. Ace regretted bringing up the battering of explosions the giant had to take, so he tried his hand again at brightening the situation.

"Where do you think the others are?" the rodent asked, picking himself off the ground. "I think that face said it had them, but I dunno if it ever said where."

"Maybe back in the mountain? It's probably the only place they could be, I think," Vix shrugged, solidifying. "Think we should-"

Something rustled the leaves above them. Ace cussed under his breath, he and Vix standing ready to fight, despite their exhaustion. The rustling continued; thankfully not big enough for a Golurk, but just enough for a-

"Ribombee?" a large Ribombee descended from the foliage above, looking at the two with a puzzled expression.

Ace and Vix walked back, recognizing the insect. If the situation was more lighthearted, Vix considered joking about Ace's girlfriend showing up.

"Please, go away! We don't wanna fight you again, we've been beaten up enough already!" Vix exclaimed, not even sure it understood her. She expected it to attack her with that pollen thing, but was instead given an oran berry.

"Bombee," the insect handed another to Ace, who cautiously accepted it.

"Uh, thanks," Ace said, biting into the berry. It was refreshing, and it eased his aches with each bite. "Oh man, that really hit the spot! Thanks!" he thanked properly with a bright smile.

"I guess it's nice now, huh," Vix was beyond relieved that they got a moment to finally rest. "I think there's less of that haze around here, so that might be why."

"Bom!" Ribombee nodded, scooting closer to Ace without him noticing. "Ri… ribombee…" it had an apologetic look about it.

Ace cocked his head to the side. "Uh, I have no idea what you're saying… Got any ideas, Vix?"

"Nope, not at all," Vix chuckled. "I think we can finally get out of this place, right?"

But, unfortunately, there can't be any rest for more than a few minutes at a time, and as such, a dreadful chill washed through the area. Ace and Vix looked at each other, hoping it was just a breeze rolling in, but as it got colder and colder, they both realized what was happening

"B-Bom?" Ribombee gulped, huddling closer to Ace as the chill got worse.

"We jinxed it… didn't we?" Ace groaned.

"I think so, yeah. Jokes on us for thinking we could win with a giant explosion…" Vix sighed. "I'm getting real sick of-"

"Living? I can help with that…"

A vast wave of green flames tore ripped through the ground, heading straight for the three. Ace grabbed the other two and got in front of them, his protect coming up. However, the flames shattered through it and pierced through the three. It felt like the flames were freezing them from the inside out.

"You both are incessantly annoying, and you even congregate with the vile inbred ferals. Why am I not surprised?"

Heavy footsteps approached them, but instead of a broken Golurk creating them, it was a monstrous hybrid of the swirling face and the Golurk, made entirely of the blue, fire-like energy, speckled with purple and green orbs, and that jagged, villainous face taking shape on the mantle.

"The one who cursed us left an ability totally unbeknownst to me, it seems. On the brink of destruction, my shapeless form returned to my base, taking everything around me in as well. That Golurk, as useless as he was in life, has a body far more powerful than my own. I do not need your friends anymore, so I'll tear them limb from limb to ensure they cannot return, once I'm rid of you."

Ace and Vix tried to move, but couldn't. Their bodies weren't listening to them, as if being pulled towards the ground. As the monster approached, and was just above them, Ribombee managed to stand, its attempt to protect the fallen duo.

"Bombee! Ri ribombee!" it stated, not allowing the swirling mass to move any closer.

"Silence, bug. I won't hesitate to-"

A sudden, dazzling flash of light emitted from Ribombee, blinding the beast before being shot at its chest. A hole was blasted out of it, and the beast let out a pained groan.

"Wretched fairy, I'll tear you to pieces!" the beast roared, reaching for the Bug-Fairy.

"N-No you won't!" Ace exclaimed, managing to summon a vine to slap the hand away before collapsing back on the ground. Although he wanted to say something snarky, Ace resorted to grinning smugly at the angered beast.

"Insolent brat! You have tried my patience for the la- AAAGGGGHHH!"

A powerful blast of fire shot from the forest, coupled with a blast of darkness. Both attacks struck the swirling beast, then a purple trail crawled up it's legs and exploded violently. The beast fell backwards, fury in its eyes.

"No, how?! I had you! ALL of you! You all belong to ME!"

Vix managed to move her eyes to see the familiar shapes of a fox, a metallic humanoid, and a reptile walk in from the woods. Embers escaped the maw of the fox, darkness crackled around the humanoid, and a bone club was twirled by the reptile.

"G-Guys..!" she strained to say, melting further on the ground. It was hard to express her relief, thanks to being frozen from the inside out from the green flames,

Eera placed his gauntlet on Vix and Ace, a flash of green coming from his hands. Finally able to move, Ace and Vix stood next to Eera, ready to fight once more. The Bisharp nodded at them before holding his hand over Ribombee, that same flash of green appearing for but a moment. The Bug-Fairy stood up, gratefully smiling at Eera..

"Do you still have the nullify orb, Vix?" Castiss asked, kneeling beside Vix.

The Litwick nodded, grabbing the orb from her bag. "Yep, lucky us, right?"

"Very," Castiss smirked, taking the nullify orb from Vix. "You don't have to fight anymore, so just sit back and take a breather."

Castiss, Eera, and Marowak approached the giant hybrid, drawing panic from it for what seemed like the first time.

"I swear, I will have my vengeance against you, both of you! NO ONE who opposes me will live long enough to regret it! Do you think killing me once will destroy me forever? I will find you both again, and I WILL kill you!" the jagged face yelled, its blue flames lashing out at the three approaching it.

Eera raised his arm before him, shooting a dark pulse to disperse the flames. Castiss let out a fierce flamethrower, aimed at the jagged face on the mantle, and Marowak slammed its club directly on the back of the monster's legs. Before the giant could retaliate, Eera shot a dark pulse at its legs, knocking it over.

The hybrid tried to get back up, only to be struck down by Marowak's club. A furious shout left the jagged mouth on the mantle, followed by a heavy fist slamming onto the ground.

"H-How?! All this strength I obtained, all of my malice, and yet I'm pushed to the brink of defeat again?! First that blue mutt, and now by the bastard that-"

"Haven't you monologued for long enough?" Eera spat, stepping on the back of the monster to shut its mouth. "Castiss, the orb."

Castiss nodded, forcefully shoving the nullify orb into the side of the monster. The energy that made up its body began to distort, stretching, shrinking, and expanding rapidly.

"NNNGGGHHHHHAAAA! G-GAAHHH! D-DAmN yOu! I w-won't..! I woN'T..!"

Not allowed its final words, the hybrid was silenced as its body faded in a flash of blue. The only thing left was an oddly shaped stone with a crack in it. Eera stood over the stone, picking it up with an exhausted sigh. A sudden flash of green, then he placed the stone in his bag.

<><><>​

A silence fell over the group, taking in the end of this insanity. Vix turned into a puddle of wax, every once of adrenaline escaping her and being replaced with utter exhaustion, and Ace collapsed for the same reason. The two laughed weakly, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm proud of you two," Eera said, turning to face the young duo. "Even though we were separated, you both managed to stay in one piece. I, uh…"

"He means to say he was worried sick about you guys," Castiss snickered, wrapping an arm around Eera's shoulder.. "I mean, we all were, but he was panicking to hell and back! He even put on the waterworks, he was a mess!"

Eera jabbed the fox in the side, chuckling lightly. "Regardless, I can't begin to imagine how taxing this was on the both of you."

"Taxing doesn't begin to cover it, honestly…" Ace groaned. "I could sleep for weeks, I'm beyond beat…"

"Bombee ribombee bom," Ribombee sighed, sitting beside Ace.

"I wouldn't mind snuggling with someone to- wait a second…" Ace shot up, looking at the Bug-Fairy. "Did you just say something? Like, something I understand?"

"B-Bom… Ribombee bombee?" Ribombee blinked, also questioning the Chespin understood her.

"O-Oh, I-I can understand you… Oh my god I can understand you… A-And you're actually a…" Ace heard someone snickering behind him. The culprit was, of course, Vix.

"She's actually able to be your girlfriend!" the candle grinned smugly.

"W-Wait no- Ack!" Ace was suddenly wrapped in the arms of Ribombee, who was giddy and giggling and not at all respecting personal boundaries.

Castiss and Ace looked at each other, the Bisharp smiling nervously. The fox crossed his arms and sighed, then said, "Alright, this is gonna be weird for a while for you. But, hey, now you can understand your girlfriend."

"She does seem rather affectionate towards you, I believe you saved her just a moment ago, which could be why," Eera pondered. "Plus, defeating that monster got rid of most of the haze surrounding this dungeon. So, you also rid her of her Berserk state, meaning you basically saved her twice."

Marowak snickered, amused at how uncomfortable the blast-happy rodent was getting. Served Ace right for blowing him up earlier, Marowak thought.

"I wanna go home…" Ace whined.

"Bom bombee bom bee~" Ribombee cooed, wanting to go right along with him.

"Yep, that settles it, this was fate!" Vix snickered. "You understand her, and she understands you! A match made in heaven!"

"B-But you can understand her too, can't you?" Ace looked at the candle, trying to pry himself away from Ribombee. "B-By your own logic, she's perfect for you too!"

Vix shook her head. "Nope, you had first dibs buddy! She's all yours!" the Litwick winked.

Castiss laughed, reveling in the playful teasing of Ace and his fated love. "Alright, alright, that's enough teasing. Let's head back to the mountain for a little bit, and, uh, decide what to do after all this."

"There are a few things we need to discuss, and I'd much rather do it there than out here," Eera added, crossing his arms.

Vix nodded, solidifying and taking her spot on Castiss' shoulder. Ace tried his hardest to get away from the clingy insect, but to no avail.

"Aw man…" the Chespin groaned. "I guess, since you won't let go, you can come with us…"

"Bombee!" the bee cheered, fluttering her wings to lift her and Ace off the ground to follow the others.

"Lucky you, having a strong and cute lady to protect you!" Vix snickered.

"Shut it," Ace sighed, not admitting that he was enjoying the free lift.
 

Tanuki

Friend of All Chu
Location
Rhyme City
Pronouns
He/him/his
I guess it’s about time I reviewed this. Six chapters should be enough.

I want to start by saying, fucking shitballs this story is rad as fuck. The opening is so heartwrenching to warmhearted, I felt like I needed a new one after. You manage to balance between tension and relief so well that both are constantly improved with the presence of the other.

Ace wanting to bang a combee? Hilarious. Making fun of Ace for wanting to bang a combee while fighting a deathless golem? Knee-fucking-slapping. The humor’s solid, and it never feels like you’re over-relying on a joke even when you make essentially the same one more times than I have fingers.

It feels like friendly banter, a running gag, and invests me in their relationship. By investing me so well into the characters, I’m genuinely distressed when they are. I want to see them live, and Eera “dying” seriously upset me. Not even because I care that much about Eera, but because of how it affected Castiss. A fucking plus, man, see me after class I wanna fuck your brains out.

Anyway, I should probably be a bit constructive and give some criticisms.

First thing is a lot of your prose could use some trimming. There are tons of sentences that aren’t grammatically wrong, but go on longer than they need to, losing some of their punch. Unfortunately, Castiss ordered my multi-quoteso this points broken up throughout the review.

The sounds of metal striking stone, the roar of flamethrowers, and the eerie groans of a monster filled the ears of all who heard it.

These are all sounds, so you don’t need “The sound of....”If you intead start with the sounds themselves, it feels more dynamic, more like I’m hearing the sounds instead of being told Vix and Ace are hearing them.

While you edit, look at sentences and think how much of it’s really necessary to get the point across. In general, less is more. The shorter you can make a sentence, the better.

following the other two to join the fight.

Two doesn’t make sense here. Three are fighting golurk, and he’s following Vix. It should probably be one.

causing it to stumble and fall on its knee.

“so it stumbled and fell to its knee,” matches the rest of the sentence’s tense. However, I’d make this its own sentence. Another criticism I have is you often put too much action into one sentence.

Conjunction junction’s great when it functions, but often splitting them up gives you quicker, punchier prose that better matched the feeling of action. Think about if you were in a fight: you don’t think in complex, long sentences, but quick, snappy ones if that.

Sentence length is how you control the ongoing pacing. This is incredibly hard to master, but for the most part, long, conjunctive sentences slow it down, short sentences speed it up.

k without really paying Castiss any mind.

What point does “really” serve in this sentence? It means the same thing with or without really. Really really kinda dampens the impact of the sentence.

"Your confidence is well appreciated, but it is ill-founded."


The second clause probably shouldn’t be independent. He’s in a fight. He’s only got so much time to speak before the golurk smashes him to bits. He needs to speak in as few words as possible. Drop it is and ditch that comma, cause a juicer sentence just gave you its number.

I mean, kicking something when it's down is a little dirty, but maybe this was different?

POV slip. “I mean...” could be replaced with, “Sure,....”

"Y-You got this, guys!" Vix cheered, several feet away from the fighters.

"Knock 'em dead!" Ace cleared his throat. "Go team!"

Hilarious. Adorable. I love these two.

Ace stared into the yellow dots calmed his nerves and brought him out of his panic attack before it hit him.

Yo this just straight up ain’t grammatical, dog.


Why scene break when they’re all in the action?

An excited look on him as darkness danced around his body.

An excited look on him...


For what purpose.

embers escaping his maw with exhale he took,

With each exhale. You need each, but not “he took.” We can pretty easily figure out Who’s taking the exhales.

Ace answered, diving into one of the crates, tossing out all the orbs they could find.

This is all fast. Make the sentences shorter to speed up the pacing. This is all quick. They’re in a hurry because Castiss is holding off the big boy.

"The reverse of the reverse of statuses."

I fucking love Castiss so goddamn much.
 

Fusion

Oh knee on
Location
Here, silly
Pronouns
Him/His
Partners
  1. zoroark
Epilogue: The End of the Beginning


This was the most peaceful the dungeon had been in a while. Any ferals they ran into didn't attack them on sight. Whether it was because of Ribombee, or the casual intimidation radiating off of Eera, Castiss, and Marowak, it was a relief to most of the group after what they had just been through.

The walk back to the mountain was drawn out as long as they could reasonably make it; they explored the forest, traveled along the riverbed, chatted about the thrill of their adventure, and before they knew it the sun was already starting to set.

As the cool, evening breeze rolled it, and the group scaled the mountain to Castiss and Eera's makeshift abode, they were welcomed to a marvelous sunset. Golds, oranges, reds, and later pinks and purples shone across the horizon, dancing along the clouds like a sea of flames.

Vix floated off of Castiss' shoulder and stood near the cliff's edge, wanting to enjoy the sunset for a bit longer. She was soon joined by Ace, still attached to Ribombee.

"This is nice, almost worth the climb up here," Ace chuckled.

"You were carried by your girlfriend, actually," Vix shot a snide smirk to her Chespin friend.

"And you got a lift from your boyfriend," Ace returned with his own smug grin.

Vix laughed and rolled her eyes before bringing her gaze back to the horizon. "You sound pretty jealous there, Ace. Never thought you'd be into foxes, let alone dude foxes."

"Well I'm not, so like… shut up." Ace stuck out his tongue, getting a tight squeeze from Ribombee.

"Bombom Ribombee~" she giggled, taking his opposition to that tall fox guy as confirmation he liked smaller bees like herself.

"I-I never said, I mean, I guess if I had to choose between you and him... " Ace shook his head. "Th-That's not even fair, of course I'd date something cute over something cool!"

"Ribombee bom!" Ribombee squeezed Ace even tighter, overjoyed at his compliment

It might have been the first time Ace was choked by a hug, but he felt it wasn't going to be the last. His protests were met with a tighter hold each time, until he eventually gave up and laid in the Bug-Fairy's arms.

"Dawww, that's sooo cute!" Vix gushed, turning Ace's face bright red. Actually, it was hard to tell if he was red from embarrassment or asphyxiation.

"Shut… up…" Ace groaned, shooting a glare at the living candle.

Before the teasing could continue, Eera called for the others to come inside the cave. Ribombee graciously carried her tuckered-out hero inside, and Vix followed in behind them. Castiss and Eera sat on one side of the fire, and Marowak stood next to one of the crates, inspecting the items within it. Castiss looked somewhat upset, and Eera had on his usual serious demeanor. Vix and Ace, which by extension meant Ribombee, sat on the other side of the fire.

"Again, I cannot properly express how proud of you I am that you made it through this ordeal," Eera spoke, his seriousness breaking for a moment to give the pair a proud smile. "Your help saved us, and countless others that would have been lost in that mountain for eternity."

"But, to be frank…" Castiss rubbed his arm, saddened by what he had to say. "We're gonna be leaving… for a really long time. Maybe, uh… forever."

Vix looked between the two, taken off guard by their sudden announcement to leave. "But, why? I'm sure you guys can stay in the village now, right? You just stopped an actual monster, there's no way everyone will think bad of you if we tell them that!"

"It's not about your village, Vix," Eera said. "We came here solely to return the dungeon to a more stable state, and we did just that. There's no reason for us to stay."

"No way, we just became friends, and you're just gonna... leave?" Ace pouted. He might not have warmed up to them easily, but fighting a life-or-death battle with someone might make you like them. Just a little.

"I… I want us to stay," Castiss winced, turning his head. "We've been doing this for… so many years, but we need to keep going. There's still work to be done, and we're the only ones that can do it."

Vix's flames erupted, flashing from purple to blue for a split second. "If another dungeon gets as bad as ours, some other hero can take care of it! You aren't the only heroes!"

"Yeah, what about us?" Ace stood up, managing to get out of Ribombee's arms. "Eera just said we saved you guys. If only you could handle this kinda stuff, you wouldn't have needed us to begin with!"

Eera's eye twitched, a brief pulse of darkness around him before he let out a breath. "That may be true, of this one situation. We may have experience, but getting blindsided by a being like that would injure anyone. And we did ourselves no favors by destroying our bodies in the process, either."

"We would have pulled through, I think. We always do," Castiss looked at the two younger Pokemon, a weak smile on his snout. "If you can say anything about us, it's that we're hard as hell to kill."

"How long do you think you can go on like this?" Vix asked, growing more furious and worried. "You're tough, but you aren't invincible! If you keep going from place to place without rest, you're just gonna… you'll…" the Litwick's expression dropped, not wanting to finish her sentence.

Castiss opened his mouth to speak, to assure her they wouldn't, but he couldn't get any words out. He didn't fully believe that himself. Castiss closed his eyes, unable to bear looking at Vix.

"If that should happen… that would be our problem, not yours," Eera said, flatly.

"It'd be our problem too!" Ace and Vix both exclaimed. Even Marowak shared their concern.

"You're our friends! We can't let you throw your lives away like that!" Vix said, firm.

"Even people like you guys need a break! This was my first time with the hero gig, and I need a week off! I can't imagine how worn out you guys would be!" Ace punctuated his point by throwing his arms up, which then slumped to his sides.

"You'd… be surprised, hehe," Castiss chuckled. "But, for problems like this… it isn't likely that just any ol' adventurer could handle it."

"What about us?" Vix raised her voice. "We're just normal Pokemon, not even evolved and we did it! If we can, then so can anyone else! You don't have to keep doing this!"

Eera crossed his arms, wanting to say something, but keeping his mouth shut. He sat quietly for a moment before saying, "Don't sell yourselves short just because you're young. There have been children that saved the world, but-"

"That just proves our point!" Ace exclaimed. "Just wait for some kid to do this then!"

"There's more to it than that, Ace," Eera uncrossed his arms. "Those children aren't just, regular children. They were fated to do what they had to do."

"And who's to say someone else isn't fated to handle this, so you guys don't have to?" Vix asked, her flame burning brightly. "Let someone else be the hero for you, just stay here with us! Please?"

"No." Eera's voice boomed, although his tone was calm. "This, is not something any ordinary hero can handle, only us. If we stay here while there's work to be done, countless others will get killed."

"But if you keep going you'll get killed!" Ace stomped, growing frustrated. "Who's going to save you if-"

"There is far more at stake here than just us. I cannot put this in a way that you will properly comprehend, but when I say countless others are at risk, I truly mean countless others." Eera said, growing impatient. He stared down at Ace, cold and emotionless. "This is final, we are leaving. I advise you to go back to your homes, we'll be gone in the morning."

Castiss wanted to speak up but he couldn't. All he could do was look sorrowful and remain quiet. Ace and Vix stared at the Bisharp, unbelieving. For a moment it was like they didn't even know who was standing before them. While Ace was furious, Vix was...

"I-I thought… I thought you were the smart one…" Vix choked on her words. "A-Always making a p-plan, thinking s-several steps ahead… so why are you m-making such a stupid m-mistake..?"

Tearful eyes remained on Eera, aching his chest. Even when he turned away, he could feel her gaze piercing his body. He gritted his teeth and growled. "What would a child like you know…"

"Eera…" Castiss finally spoke, but was met with a cold glare that silenced him. He bit his lip, looking over at Vix and seeing her sadness trail down her face. The fox shook his head, turning back to Eera. "N-No, we can't just leave... Please, Eera, at least think this through?"

"..." the Bisharp didn't reply, his back turned to the others.

A tense silence soon fell over the group, eventually leading Ace and Vix taking their leave, with Ribombee close behind them. Marowak didn't know what to do, so after giving Castiss and Eera a passing glance and a slight wave, he followed behind the candle and rodent.

<><><>​

Night had already arrived back at Timberthicket, no one was out and about, so getting Marowak and Ribombee to Ace's home was met with little complications. Even inside, Indul's snoring signaled that he was sound asleep. There was an apple pie baked in the kitchen, missing about half of it, and a note beside it reading, 'For when you two come back, hope it's still warm by then.'

Fortunately, it was. The gooey, cinnamon-and-sugary taste made the four feel better, but once it was gone, so was the faint relief he brought.

Retreating to Ace and Vix's room, the candle and rodent handed Ribombee and Marowak a few blankets and pillows before collapsing on their beds.

"I can't believe him…" Vix sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Why is Eera so… stubborn?"

"If that's how a hero acts, I think I might wanna resign early," Ace chuckled, trying to bring some levity into the room. He rolled over to see Ribombee staring at him, standing right next to his bed. She startled him; he probably forgot he brought her home, and she looked like she was waiting for something. "...Fine." Ace sighed, and the bee smiled and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Right, they're heroes and all that," Vix pulled her notebook from her satchel, looking over all the notes she had taken. Admittedly, she could have written more, but her only chances to think and write were basically when she and Ace descended into the mountain and, now, really. "Hey, Ace, now that we've done some heroing ourselves, what do you think it means to be a hero?"

Ace took a second to think the answer over, grateful that Ribombee wasn't hugging him to death. "I guess… a hero will always come out on top, so they have to be strong. They also have to save people, so there's that. Am I missing something?"

Vix hummed, looking over at Marowak for a second. The reptile was leaning against a wall, arms crossed and eyes closed, stoic. "I mean, I dunno. I can't tell you what you think."

"Then what about you? What do you think a hero is, since that's what got us in this mess in the first place?" Ace asked with a chuckle. "Actually, what answer did you get from Eera and Castiss?"

"Well, from what I'd seen, Castiss is a reckless, 'save at any cost,' kind of guy, and Eera is a more thoughtful, 'plan several steps ahead,' sort of hero. Which is why it's so weird that…" Vix shook her head before she went into it again.

"I kinda thought that too, about Eera. It's been bugging me too why he's the one who decided to throw themselves back into danger so soon."

"Bombee… Ri ribombee ribom?" Ribombee asked, crossing her arms to think about it too. If Eera's a hero, maybe he was protecting them from something?

"I mean, maybe? It's not like we're trying to go with them, we just want them to stay a little longer," Ace shrugged. "Actually, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to go with them. You don't think they knew, did you?"

"That'd be freaky, actually. Or cool. I can't decide," Vix chuckled for a second, before letting out a sigh. "We're gonna go see them before they leave, right?"

"Well yeah, even if we can't make them stay, we can at least see them off," Ace grinned, bundling himself up in his blanket. He even let Ribombee sleep behind him. "I'm hoping I can actually get up in time…"

"I'll wake you up this time, don't worry," Vix assured her friend before drifting off to sleep.

<><><>​

"Ace, come on!" Vix groaned, shaking the Chespin as he slept. "We're gonna leave you if you don't hurry and wake up!" Vix has been at it for several minutes; even Ribombee was tired of snuggling with the rodent and was getting ready for the day.

Their room had changed a bit; Ace got a bigger bed Marowak had his own, even though he favored sleeping on the ground, the nightstand was swapped for a dresser, a candle very much stylized like Vix sat on top of the dresser, and they got a fancy rug designed after the forest dungeon.

"Is that boy still asleep?" Indul's booming voice came in from the hallway. "After I went through all the trouble waking up even earlier than I normally do, because he asked us to make him breakfast!"

A moment later, Marowak angrily stomped into the room, wearing an apron, with his club in hand. Vix ducked out of the way, waiting for the inevitable THWACK that worked so much better at waking Ace than her shaking him. Despite being safe from Marowak's wrath, Vix still braced for impact.

"GAH! Wh-What the hell?!" Ace exclaimed as he woke, rubbing the back of his head. It didn't hurt, but it still stung. He shot a glare at Marowak, who huffed and left the room, then looked out the window, seeing it was mostly dark out. "W-Wait, I didn't oversleep did I?"

"Only by, like, ten minutes. Indul and Marowak already made breakfast. We were just about to head out, actually," Vix explained, grabbing her satchel. "Hurry up, the curry's gonna get cold!"

"What?! Aw, man!" Ace jumped out of bed and ran out of the room, grabbing his bag on the way.

Vix and Ribombee rolled their eyes, leaving the room a bit after Ace did. They met with Marowak in the hallway, who neatly folded his apron and placed it in his own satchel, and made their way out the house, giving Indul a wave as they left.

Ace basically inhaled his bowl of curry, then ate another before hopping out of his chair and speeding towards the door, just to be grabbed by Indul halfway there.

"Now, where's the fire?" Indul chuckled, hugging his son gently. "You're gonna get sick if you run off right after eating, you know?"

"I know, but they're gonna leave me behind if I don't hurry!" Ace tried to get out of Indul's arms, but just like with Ribombee, he couldn't break himself free.

"Alright, I won't keep you long, just a few more seconds." Indul gave Ace a squeeze before letting go and giving him a smile. "Stay safe out there, alright? Same rule as before."

"Got it! See ya later!" Ace waved, running out the door to catch up to the others.

<><><>​

Without the haze, or threat of berserker Pokemon, the four spent most of their time in the dungeon nowadays. It was fun camping out, exploring, interacting with the now-passive ferals. A few new species even appeared, like Seedot, Fomantis, Cottonee and their evolutions, as well as Basculin and Chewtle by the river. Vix took upon herself to document all the new goings on, while Ace and Ribombee chatted with the ferals. Ribombee was the only one Ace and Vix understood fluently, unfortunately, so she was a sort of translator.

Marowak would often join them, but as he didn't understand the ferals or speak in general, and didn't really care about documenting everything, he usually ended up disappearing into the forest to explore it at his own pace. Thankfully, whenever there was the odd feral that got aggressive, Marowak would pop up just in the knick of time to handle it, if Ace and Vix themselves could not.

It was during the afternoon that Vix and the others decided to take a break from adventuring, Ace and Marowak set up a campground of sorts, Ribombee gathered a bunch of berries, and Vix sat off to the side, writing in her slightly-weathered notebook. It's seen a fair bit of adventures at this point, and a few pages have been torn out, but all that just gives it character.

'It's been.. What, a year or so since we fixed the dungeon? I almost can't believe how different it all feels. Like, the air is fresh, the ferals are actually friendly, and I honestly believe that we could spend all of our time in here without any trouble! I read somewhere that dungeons have always been dangerous to stay in, but maybe other dungeons just haven't been fixed yet?'

'For all the joking and teasing we did about them, Ace and Ribombee actually do look adorable together. Marowak's still... Marowak. Surprisingly, not only did Indul welcome him with open arms, but Indul even managed to convince the other villagers to not be put off by him! It took a month or two, and Ace and I had to help as well, but it's still impressive! Then again, he was never the scariest one of our group, right?'

'Anyway, we're setting up camp as I'm writing this, and Marowak's having trouble with the tent. Again. He really thinks he can get it by himself, but it never turns out right and we have to stop him from burning it to the ground. Tents are expensive, and there's hardly been any camping gear stocked in the village.'

'Still deciding on whether or not we should tell Indul about our plan to go find a guild to join, I think the nearest one is this Valley Ruin guild, but we've heard nothing about it other than the name. It's kinda odd, too, who makes a guild in the ruins of a valley? Maybe we'll just have to make a guild for ourselves! Imagine, Guildmaster Vix… has a nice ring to it, huh?'

Vix smiled as she finished her writing, closing her book and floating over to the others. Marowak was moments away from tearing the tent to shreds, and Ace watched anxiously as his prized tent was poorly put together, and at risk of enraging a powerful Fire Type.

"Alright, I'm going to the mountain for a bit," Vix said, floating off.

"Bom bom!" Ribombee waved, snacking on some berries as she stood next to Ace, watching Marowak in amusement.

<><><>​

The no-longer-cursed mountain, still as tall and jagged as Vix remembered. She's scaled it a few times since way back when, but its awe-inspiring size and structure was always something to behold to her. There's also the fact that this is technically where it all started, and the odd nostalgia it carried for an event that happened a little over a week ago.

With no storm to force her to hide, plenty of charcoal, and no exhaustion from surviving a dangerous trek through the dungeon, Vix was able to float about halfway up before needing a break. A new record, for her.

Before long, the cave entrance was reached and Vix went inside. It was dark, but the smell of smoke was still fresh. As she entered the main room, it was pitch black aside from her flame, casting an ominous purple glow around her. Vix fired a flamethrower into the campfire, and the room lit up, revealing the crates still along the walls and the entrance leading to the mountain's dungeon.

Beside one of the crates, plainly visibly, was a black and red pillow with a neat stack of torn-out pages, which Vix added her latest letter to. There were also a few berries around the pillow, chople berries, occa berries, and lum berries. Some of them were old, so Vix swapped them out with fresh ones and tossed the old ones in the fire.

The last thing she wanted to check was a note placed in front of the pillow. There were cute little scribbles on it, added by Vix and the others, but the actual handwriting on it was pretty sloppy, almost ineligible. A smile found its way onto Vix as she read the note. "I swear neither of you know what this means…"

'See You Soon!'
 

kintsugi

golden scars | pfp by sun
Location
the warmth of summer in the songs you write
Pronouns
she/her
Partners
  1. silvally-grass
  2. lapras
  3. golurk
  4. booper-kintsugi
  5. meloetta-kint-muse
  6. meloetta-kint-dancer
  7. murkrow
  8. yveltal
Hey! I'm here for your BLEC prize! This felt more natural to review as a whole story--just doing 1/8 felt like a really weird increment for me, haha.

---

I feel like you get this a lot, but I was really impressed that you went for the mid-length story here--in a sense I think this is actually one of the hardest fanfic formats to tell, since you're stuck with a more complex story than a oneshot but you also can't use the "this will get answered in chapter 40" line. I think you did a really good job of setting up a world and characters in the space you had, and for the most part I think their struggles get explored in a compelling light.

“What does it mean to be a Hero?”
I wasn't surprised to see a line like this in a fic with this title, but I'm glad we got it out of the way early. I liked how you pick apart at different angles here, and how ultimately we get to see that the concept of a hero is pretty vague--Eera and Castiss are both right in some senses. The further I read the more I could really appreciate that you picked Vix to tell this story; both because this kind of whimsical and idealistic adventure probably needs a silly kid to spark it off, and also because big explorations of heroism need a naive kid to learn from.

And, as mentioned above, I don't know if there's a single definition of what it means to be a hero! Which is fair; Vix's question is kind of a silly one, and this story is about the makings of a hero, not the meaning of one--so I really liked how we got to see a lot of different ways that people can be brave, that courage can be chosen. There were some really subtle ways that you permeated this through Castiss/Eera that I really appreciated, my absolute favorite being:
Eera and Castiss looked at each other for a moment, then nodded. Castiss leaned the Marowak against a wall, and immediately went to work, meanwhile Eera went through the tunnel. He grabbed an oran from his satchel and crushed it with ease, slathering it on the Marowak's wounds. Then he pulled out some bandage wrap and tightly wrapped it around the Marowak's body, soothing the reptile when it winced and groaned.
I've seen a lot of "ferals are mindless violent creatures" in PMD as of late, and from the perspective of "I need some enemies for my characters to fight without feeling bad", that makes sense, but I've always been interested in the messier questions of what to actually do about them, even more so in the settings where they were originally regular people who got turned monstrous. I love-love-love how you took this at face value at first, with Ace and Vix just choosing to attack outright, but when Castiss and Eera show up, they immediately take the harder but correct choice to extend kindness. It's dangerous to open yourself up, and doing so can leave you vulnerable, but it's in doing dangerous things to help others that you do heroic things--even if they're not flashy or cool set pieces. It's a really beautiful theme and I loved the route you chose to take here! I actually sat up straighter when I got to this part haha; I'm so used to seeing ferals flung around left and right, the equivalent of mooks in an action movie, lol.

The ending notes too, where we get to see Vix/Ace's crew trying to grow from this experience, making attempts to communicate with the ferals, Marowak joining them from time to time--it's all really a cute and satisfying ending that I think felt earned here. I felt really bad for Marowak, since they're sort of stuck in this loop of trying to communicate and never being able to (horrifying thought tbh), but I liked that they didn't have a horrible or tragic ending. This wasn't a world-changing adventure, and as Eera and Castiss say, there are way bigger fish to fry on the scheme of things, but for Vix and Ace, this is big! I think you struck a really nice balance of feeling like a lesson was learned, that the world got to improve, and that characters grew--but not in a way that invalidated the others. And E/C are going on to more important things; I wish I knew actually what they meant, but it feels like the world is a lot bigger than this one adventure.

Ferals/friendship aside, I think keeping the narration focused on Vix lets you get away with a lot of other really clever storytelling techniques as well. I'd side-eyed the "idk, I'm lucky the Shiinotic put me to sleep I guess!" as being a bit too convenient for your main characters, but! that's how it's meant to be, and it does make sense that Vix wouldn't pick up on the improbability of that. And then this goes back and forth a bit too, escalating to Eera pointing out that Castiss almost had to save Vix at some point, if only because the two of them would be blamed otherwise--is heroism selfish? Can it be? In light of the big boss battle at the end, this seemed like a really good question to seed early, and having it start from the heroes was a really cool choice.

'What did I do?! They said it was built! They called it an automaton! It wasn't alive! It ISN'T alive!'
"Golurk were built to be protectors, but that one is a monster. Once it has its sights on you, it will stop at nothing to hunt you down. If you went back to your home, you'd endanger everyone there," Castiss added.
The Golurk/(Spiritomb? I think? I always hate assuming, but I saw rocks and green lights and lots of spirits ... ) antagonist is a really clever one too, and I'm glad that you dug into this recurring theme of monsters/protectors again. It's a neat inversion of heroes who look like villains and villains who look like heroes, and I think it works particularly well to undermine Vix's idealistic way of thinking how this is going to go.

(Side note--I think you'd like Terry Pratchett's Feet of Clay? Has some good golems/automaton themes!)

Overall the double boss fight felt a bit weird--as I understand it, they fight Golurk, then Golurk-Spiritomb, then Spiritomb again? It sort of felt like phases of a boss fight in a video game, where the battle shifted a little for a new phase/environment of the fight. But in writing, the key to having good fights is to have good stakes, and usually unique stakes--the goal of each fight is to stop the scary ghost before they hurt anyone else, and while you do up the tension by taking various members in and out of the fight, having Ribombee fren to arrive and help, etc I think this could've been streamlined a little bit more neatly/condensed into a more singular ending.

I also wish there was a bit more focus on Vix's notebook--I thought that was a really interesting through-line and I liked how it tied in to the Marowak's journal entries as well, but it mostly gets brought up in the beginning and then at the end for the epilogue.

(That being said, I thought the chapter with Marowak's journal was excellently done--a great way to use a framing device to build tension throughout a scene. I get really big Lord of the Rings "the way is shut" vibes from that section, where the characters are figuring out what's happening even as "what's happening" is slowly lumbering closer and closer ... Really good and ominous writing there!)

She let out an aggravated groan and went over to a crate labelled "The opposite of hurt." Almost immediately, she found a health orb and tossed it over to Eera.
Vix sarcastically groaned, floating into a crate labeled "The reverse of the reverse of statuses."
I was also really impressed with the humor bits! Jokes are hard to land and tonally this is a tricky piece to write--it's both a delve into deeper themes like heroism and sacrifice and social perception, but it's about children. I think the line was toed really well, and I thought it was really clever how you bounced these characters off of one another to create comedic situations like this. This particular sequence was great because it just kept getting more and more absurd.

Overall I think your prose is really solid--you have good comedic timing, your setting descriptions are quite nice, and I was able to get a pretty good picture of each of the main characters' personalities as the story progressed. In particular I really liked the tension in the fifth chapter (the one where they're reading the marowak's journal). The progression there was really effective, and I thought you did a great job of encapsulating that ominous vibe where the readers slowly get to piece things together right there with the characters.

On a micro-level, I think some of your sentences are a bit confusing, and that was the main point that I struggled with in this story--sometimes the prose swings a bit back and forth with how much information is being conveyed, and this leads to the text feeling a bit directionless. I tried to outline a few early sentences a bit:

A sudden, blinding flash of lightning, followed by a mighty crack of thunder, leading up to a powerful explosion behind Vix. The bolt struck her platform, her temporary safe place, her moment of reprieve. Everything below her shattered into bits and pieces, and her mentality along with it.

All that bravado, all that hope, gone in an instant. She couldn’t get herself to float, her mind was clouded by an overwhelming fear.
The first sentence goes lightning -> thunder -> explosion; the way these are presented makes it seem like the thunder causes the explosion, but in reality it'd be the last thing to happen since it's a result of the lightning strike/explosion, right? Then the second sentence rewinds a bit--we see the lightning bolt strike the platform, then we go even further back to establish what the platform means to Vix--the stakes get introduced after the impact. In the third sentence, we flash back forward to the aftermath of the explosion, with the physicality of the explosion and the impact it has on Vix. But then the fourth sentence goes into why this is bad, but the use of the phrase "in an instant" feels out of place since what comes before is a long buildup and what follows is a detailed description of the bravado vanishing.

The falling sequence that follows feels a bit disconnected as well--it feels very slow and drawn out, not just from a mental perspective (i.e. "her life flashed before her eyes" thing), but also in the actions Vix is able to do (several sobs, break apart in despair, complete sentences of thoughts). I wasn't sure there how long you wanted her to be falling, and I think it would help to have some external descriptions as well--the mountain rushing by, how many feet she's falling, how far she thinks she has to go. I also didn't fully understand what the risk is here--she's able to break her body apart at some point + do all the detailed things listed above, but she's also too paralyzed by fear to float to break her fall. I think these two sections could switch in style--the confused, jumpy sentences that describe the lightning would really help get into the mind of someone who is terrified of falling to their death, while the more methodical descriptions about sobs and thought processes would help set the stage up more.

The roaring winds protested against her, demanding she fall, and the torrential downpour beat on her so furiously, it was like she was melting, but once again she landed on her mark, and again basked in the joy of progress.
I think the imagery is evocative here. But this sentence, too, could probably be broken out a bit more. I find it helpful to look at my sentences and see what exactly each one is saying. This one has quite a bit--the winds protest, then they demand; we switch to the rain, then focus on Vix melting; but then, Vix lands successfully and is able to celebrate. This might read more naturally if we split some of it out--either when the focus switches away from the weather to Vix, or when the focus switches away from the risk of failure to Vix's success.
> The roaring winds protested against her, demanding she fall; the torrential downpour beat on her so furiously it was like she was melting. But despite them, she managed to keep her trajectory and landed on her mark, and when she landed she couldn't help but take a moment to bask in the joy of progress.
> The roaring winds protested against her, demanding she fall, while the torrential downpour beat on her furiously. Trying to force her way through the onslaught made her feel like she was melting, but once again she landed on her mark, and once again she basked in the joy of progress.


Fear crawled up her back, this was starting to look bad, and her not moving allowed her brain to realize that.
Some run-ons and conflicting ideas in this one too--I dunno if you need to specify that it's her brain that's realizing that (vs just Vix realizing that), and I also found it a bit strange to see the effect after the cause again, especially since this one is a realtime realization. I think phrasing it like this would be more clear:
> Now that she wasn't moving, she could recognize that this was starting to look bad. A twinge of fear crawled up her back.

The path, despite its efforts to remain intact, was almost entirely destroyed past the point where the explosion started, smoke and dust filled the air, and just as Ace and Vix hoped, the Golurk was nowhere to be seen.
I'm not quite sure how to interpret the path's efforts to remain intact--is it actually trying, or is this an action that someone else is anthropomorphising the path to do? It's likely the latter, but then the question becomes who is thinking the path is doing that? Later, "Ace and Vix" hope, but it can't really be both of them--there's a fair amount of head-hopping here and I think the intent was to get a third person omniscient, but when the third omni starts hopping directly into each character's inner thoughts, the main thread of the story becomes hard to follow.

And then on a within-sentence level, I think sometimes your phrasing could be tightened up a bit:
Castiss took a deep, deep breath, and his exhale was a mighty flamethrower aimed below them, slowing their fall and pushing them towards the mountainside.
"his exhale was" feels almost like a filler word here. When I want to streamline sentences, I tend to look for interesting verbs--you have a good one here with "aimed" that says a lot about how this movement is methodical, practiced--having the sentence focus there feels a bit more pronounced/intentional.
> Castiss took a deep, deep breath and aimed a mighty flamethrower below them, slowing their fall and pushing them towards the mountainside.
(mathematically this does raise a lot of questions--fire-based propulsion mostly works by momentum/mass transferring as quickly as possible; for larger objects I don't think it's really possible to do it by the heat transfer alone. But also it's probably not possible to breathe fire, so like, pokemon logic applies here)

some line-by-line thoughts! These were initially in chronological order, and then I ruined multiquote somehow and they all got shuffled, so now they're roughly sorted by category, haha.

smol typos/questions:
It was relaxing, as long as she didn’t think about the hundreds of feet of rock below her, waiting for a simple mistake from her to coat them is ghastly wax.
is -> in here

Ain’t there a sayin’ about throwin’ rocks in a glass house?
Do they have widespread glass manufacturing in this setting? Or like! That isn't really a question I need answering, but I do think idioms/sayings can be really valuable tools for conveying a different culture rather than a reskinned version of our own--if Chaucer invented this phrase for us, is there a PMD analog of Chaucer here? Fighting and exploring seems relatively common in this culture, so is it possible they'd have a different way of conveying the feeling of "don't start a fight you can't win"?

Dread crawled up their backs, chilling even Vix to her non-existent bones
Similarly, this both uses a human saying that wouldn't apply and then simultaneously calls attention to the fact that the human saying wouldn't apply. This could be a cool way to delve into how non-skeletal creatures might have different idioms for expressing their fear--do a bit of sneaky worldbuilding disguised as description.

"Yep! He's… different, to say the least, but he's a good guy." Vix tapped what would be her chin.
This one, too! If Vix picked this up as a mannerism even though tapping her chin wouldn't really have any visual significance, lacking a chin and all, is there a reason that she does it? This suggests that maybe she's mimicking friends/people around her--you could potentially build a lot of character off of this mannerism if Castiss or Ace tapped their chin--she copies Castiss because she admires him, or Ace just because they've spent so much time together. But as it stands it feels like a weird mix of a bit of missed logic + the narration calling out the fact that this doesn't quite make sense.
Castiss’ tone shifted back to, what Vix believed to be, normal.
I don't think you need the commas here.

It hurt a little to move his arms, but it wasn't unbearable at least.
The "at least" felt redundant here--not-unbearable is the bare minimum for being bearable (pardon the dumb word choice there), while saying "at least" implies that something could've been worse.

Other than his assortment of seeds, most of which being blast seeds, and his all-mach orb, there wasn't a whole lot to use.
being -> were

No lights came from its ancient engravings, in fact, it was dull in color aside from the flames bursting through its cracks. The body never moved, it was lifeless and falling apart.
"never" felt like a strange word choice since it was moving very recently, and "never moved" also feels weird next to "falling apart"--I'd rephrase to something like: "No light came from its ancient engravings. Aside from the flames bursting through its cracks, it had gone dull in color. Its lifeless body no longer moved with a purpose. A chunk of its armor rolled off of its chest and onto the ground."

"Oh my god, we actually did it! IT WORKED!" she cheered, her purple flame dancingly excitedly
dancingly -> dancing

Well... he is looking at one, technically…
zooped into present tense in this sentence

HHHHhhhHhhHHAAAAaaaaagggGGGHGHGGghhhG! AAAaaaRrRRRAAGGgggGGhH!
This one might be more personal preference, but I find that onomatopoeia/very intense bold dialogue works better in a more visual setting, like a video game (where you can have sound or music cues) or an anime (where the sound *is* the cue). This sequence was hard for me to envision--is there a difference between HHHHHhhhHHHHAAAAaaGGGGHGHGHGG and HhHHHhhhHHHHAAAAaaGGGGHGHGHGg? If there is, what does that mean narratively? I think you were aiming for conveying this idea of building sound throughout the chapter, with smaller Aaaaaghs into this, and then into the very quiet "help me" at the end--and if you were, I think that's a really cool idea! But it's definitely one that's hard to translate into prose.

One thing that might help is grounding the sound in something that *does* translate into prose--how does it make Vix feel? Can she sense desperation slip in when the Golurk realizes it's losing? Maybe at some point the shouts get so loud that the cave ceiling shakes and rocks begin to fall or something! There's a ton of options here and I don't want to suggest like, a specifically correct one, but I think describing sounds in prose is a lot more effective than transcribing them, if that makes sense.

Some of your dialogue punctuation got a bit wonky. Here are some notes on dialogue punctuation, but there's a more complete guide here if you want a better breakdown.
The main repeated mispunctuation was when having a sentence follow dialogue:
“Um, thank you,” her voice was far more shy than she would have liked.
So in this one, "her voice was far more shy than she would have liked" is basically a separate action--there's no words like said or anything that indicate that it needs to be connected to the dialogue. As a result, you want to punctuate it like this:
> "Um, thank you." Her voice was far more shy than she would have liked.
Similar one here:
“That’s a relief. You hungry?” the fox offered an oran berry, fresh and ripe.
> "That's a relief. You hungry?" The fox offered an oran berry, fresh and ripe.
"Ace!" She exclaimed before being pulled into his arms as he curled up. A moment later, everything went white, the deafening roar of an explosion filled the air, and the pair could feel themselves being helplessly blown away.
We also get the reverse scenario here. When you
When you have someone addressing someone else in dialogue, you should offset their name with a comma--it's the rule that validates the "let's eat, grandma" (inviting grandma to eat) vs "let's eat grandma" (cannibalism) dichotomy.
"Chuck that seed as hard as you can Eera!"
> "Chuck that seed as hard as you can, Eera!"
Similarly:
"WAIT NO!"
"No" isn't really a name, but interjections like no/yeah/oops still follow the comma convention above, or get split off into their own sentences:
> "WAIT, NO!"
> "WAIT! NO!"


And the final one is a bit more esoteric, but if you're doing interrupted dialogue (i.e. the narration or another action/speaker cuts off someone in mid-sentence), you want to use what's called an "em dash" (—) (or, if you've been paying attention to my laziness in my review, sometimes it's written as double hyphen--like that lol).
"Who's going to save you if-"
> "Who's going to save you if—"

I didn't flag all of these, since they came up a bit + I only wanted enough to get an example set. There are a few more instances where these happened, but overall it wasn't game-changing to my reading experience or anything--it would just help for clarity and stuff.

Some follow-up notes on grammar. This section trended a bit long; sorry!
You have some sentences where you'll try to join things with a comma--grammatically speaking, this isn't always correct. I've worked through a few examples below.

Traversing the stones protruding through the mountain was simple, float up a couple feet, try not to look down, land, don’t look back, and repeat. So simple even a Magikarp could fumble around and manage it.
This one doesn't really have an intuitive rule, but if you want to have a clause that explains what another clause was doing, you want a colon (:). I tend to shorthand colons as saying the phrase "that is". So, if we look at your sentence again:
> "Traversing the stones protruding through the mountain was simple--that is, float up a couple feet, try not to look down, land [...]"
with the colon we'd get a slightly smoother sentence:
> "Traversing the stones protruding through the mountain was simple: float up a couple feet, try not to look down, land [...]"
(And more of a prose rather than a grammar thing, but "protruding through the mountain" paints a weird image--the stones protruding through the entire mountain, rather than off of the cliff face)
"This is based off of something called a Time Gear. If someone has one, they can mess with how time flows; stop it, slow it down, speed it up, or reverse it."
> "This is based off of something called a Time Gear. If someone has one, they can mess with how time flows: stop it, slow it down, speed it up, or reverse it."
There wasn't much to write home about, just a room with some barely luminescent gems, a table with supplies and books, some of those item-filled crates, and an entryway leading to another chamber.
> "There wasn't much to write home about: just a room with some barely luminescent gems [...]"
And then final example, since I think your writing style seems to lend itself to wanting colons for some reason!
The regular dungeon happenings were easy for them to handle; beat the occasional wild Pokemon, which were usually Baltoy, Cubone, and Roggenrola, find the exit tunnel or stairs, and gather items.
> "The regular dungeon happenings were easy for them to handle: beat the occasional wild Pokemon—which were usually Baltoy, Cubone, and Roggenrola—find the exit tunnel or stairs, and gather items."
(Although this does beg the question--in this world it seems like dungeons were mostly made, with mystery dungeons being weird distortions in reality. I didn't quite catch why dungeons would be intentionally made, though?)

A chill crawled throughout Vix's body, that green was the same as the Golurk's!
Likewise, the comma here can't join these two bits together--they are complete sentences (if you want to look up cool grammar jargon, this is a comma splice). A few ways you could work around this:
> "A chill crawled throughout Vix's body. That green was the same as the Golurk's!"
> "A chill crawled throughout Vix's body when she realized that green was the same as the Golurk's."

(Another prose rather than grammar thing--"throughout" and "crawl" are conflicting words for me here. The former implies a rapid and thorough permeation, while the latter implies pretty slow and meandering. A chill crawled through? A chill spiked across?)
This seemed like a problem that went away in later chapters, so maybe it's a proofreading thing? I can go into more detail if not.

similarly:
"That won't hold it for long, Ace, let's go!" she stated
> "That won't hold it for long, Ace. Let's go!" she stated
^and a few non-grammar thoughts--"stated" seems a bit more methodical, while the dialogue seems a lot more urgent
It's broken, ancient body, bleeding an ominous fire, was still for a moment. No more jittering, no more twitching, it just stood there…
"It's" is the contraction for "it is". "Its" is the possessive pronoun for "something belonging to it".
The last sentence isn't really a comma splice since fragments already break grammar rules, but I think it'd read more smoothly as "No more jittering, no more twitching. It just stood there" or "No more jittering, no more twitching; it just stood there".
That Golurk, if it somehow got here, it's weight would be a dead giveaway of its location.
It's/its again here, and also this sentence feels like it has a few too many/too few words. I think it'd be simpler to say "If that Golurk somehow got here, its weight would be a dead giveaway of its location." or even "The Golurk had been so loud before. Even if it managed to find them, its clomping footsteps would be a dead giveaway of its location."

'N-No freaking way, that's impossible! We lost it! I KNOW we lost it!' Ace's mind screamed. This nightmare was so close to being over, they're RIGHT THERE! The mountain, the sunlight, it is right in front of them! Just a bit further, they just needed to go a bit further!
Some tenses got flipped here ("it is right in front of them"). Sentences 2-4 also have the comma splice thing I'd mentioned earlier:
> "Ace's mind screamed. This nightmare was so close to being over. They were RIGHT THERE! The mountain, the sunlight—they were right in front of them! Just a bit further. He and Vix needed to go just a bit further!"

Overall--really adored the creative ideas and worldbuilding in this! There were a lot of clever ideas and I think you executed them really well to tell a cute but compelling story here. Some of my prose-level complaints are a bit nitpicky; overall, I think this was a really fun read and I'm glad you shared it!
 

Namohysip

Dragon Enthusiast
Staff
Partners
  1. flygon
  2. charizard
  3. milotic
  4. zoroark-soda
  5. sceptile
  6. marowak
  7. jirachi
Heya Fuse, this is a review of the first chapter!

I think your first few paragraphs did well in establishing the central conflict of what appears to be a short story. Good start, because it means you didn’t dabble with too much backstory than necessary, and you can probably sprinkle in those tidbits as the story progresses. I also thought it was a nice touch that you described Vix’s locomotion, or floating, at least, since I imagine each story has a different way to describe it.

I was particularly fond of the description that it took ghostly power for her to keep her shape, and when she was too tired the wax would melt itself. It was an interesting take on her amorphous body, in a way. After reading a little more, it also looks like this is a supplementary story to your main one, since there are references to those bandits and what the strange, robed Pokémon had done—sounds like a story elsewhere with that kind of detail.

The falling that Vix went through after that long climb really dragged on. I could understand it going for a sentence or two, but this went on for so long when it was very clearly going to be okay due to the placement in the story. I also thought it was an interesting move to mention these close calls being resolved so early, but all things considered it’s better than the alternative off drawing out all that luck for a few chapters. It did seem like a good twist, but having it at the start helps, too.

And then at the end of the chapter, you went around to resolving the first conflict of the story—which I’ll say is great pacing despite that initial stumble at the mid-beginning. I don’t really know what direction you want to take from here, since it looks like it can go anywhere from mentorship to getting caught up in one of that pair’s adventures, but considering how short it is, it’s probably something on the smaller side. Which can still be very interesting, and I’m thinking this will be a very useful way to get a taste for your main work later. So, until then, thanks for the read, and I’ll review this again some other time!
 
Top Bottom