Welcome to Thousand Roads! You're welcome to view discussions or read our stories without registering, but you'll need an account to join in our events, interact with other members, or post one of your own fics. Why not become a member of our community? We'd love to have you!
Welcome to our yearly Review Blitz! Visit the Companion app to log reviews or view the leaderboard. Week Two's theme is Catch Up: review a story you've already reviewed, and try to catch up on as many chapters as possible! You have until 23:59:59 UTC January 4th to log reviews for this theme!
Don't know what Review Blitz is? Have a look at the rules, then write a couple comments for your favorite fics. It's not too late to join!
To avoid accidentally missing copy pasting part of a review into the post like *last time*, I've decided that it's better if I split the line by line comments and general chapter comments one by one.
So, let's start with the next batch of chapters!
I pulled a lever to seal the capsule, another one to seal the garage and extract the air, yet another to open the seal to the tunnel, and finally the last lever to engage the drive!
Our capsule emerged from where the Rock Club symbol in the lobby would normally be. It had slid to the side to let us in. That was how it worked for all the clubs.
I like the rock garden design, especially because by hearing "Rock club" you usually would think of the classic giant boulders everywhere, classic Rock gym
The handy thing about this trick was that resistance was applied AFTER weakness. That meant my Voltorb could potentially do 120 damage reduced to a more-than-sufficient 90 even after resistance!
Rick rose an eyebrow. "I wouldn't quite say that... I hear there is a Doduo research facility on Neo Island. Perhaps it is getting to the bottom of things? Maybe we will have answers in our lifetime."
Don't jinx that, now I expect something horrible to happen!
Nice breather chapter and a way to cap off the first round of the Clubs. My highlight for the chapter was absolutely Gene. "Badass blind guy" is absolutely one of my favourite tropes no matter the setting and I can't wait to reach their match just to see more of him. There were also some nice tidbits of world building, like the mention of no one having ever found remains of a Doduo... This coupled with the fact that they are disappearing + Gotan makes me think that something really strange is going on with Doduo and on the island in general. Do they actually not die but are reborn in a different form? Meanwhile are people randomly transforming into Doduo?
Is everyone reincarnating in cycles???
I can just *feel* that something wild is going on and I can't wait to get to it!!
Now chapter 15. With a title like that, I'm expecting either comple shitpostery or some big lore drop
Ok, now THIS is strange, but honestly my first assumption would be that it's really difficult for them to even build a deck, since booster packs seem to fetch quite the price, even more than in real life...
WHAT. ok now this is REALLY weird, are they literally like.... Programmed at birth to not be able to do it?? Because it's not like they simply don't know how to do it, it's like they are literally blocked from being able to LEARN the rules, and it's only this one specific thing, which is wild... I mean, literal kids can play the game. Not *well*, but they can still learn to do it. So the implications of this are... wild...
Rick looked at me with the most serious face I had ever seen from him and whispered back. "They must have been silenced. Either voluntarily... or more likely... by FORCE!"
Good thing you are only two of the most famous people on the island and Gentleman got's tabloids following him around, uh??
Ok I was joking when I mentioned the lore drop lol
What even is going ON on Neo Island??
Why are they making clones/practically NPC people? Why block them from knowing how to play the game?
How do they do it?
How many people were already disappeared by them?
Is Doctor Wem gone because she also stumbled upon the TRUTH???
(I still think she's secretly Mew lol)
I'm mind blown.
Only other thing I want to mention about this chapter is that the narration (and both Gentleman and Rick? constantly referring to the immigrants as, well... Just "the immigrants" does sound quite a bit rude lol, almost dehumanizing a bit, especially in the scene where they are testing the game with them.
Just putting a couple "the man"/"the woman shook his/her head" can maybe help... unless it's intentional, of course...
I get that part of it is a joke about game sprites (of the receptionist characters in particular) all being the same, but it is kinda strange that they only now notice that a specific group of people are literally identical, but I guess that there aren't *that* many of them...
Onwards to chapter 16, that's... another interesting title...
Amy waved her hand dismissively. "NO! Not Doduo! I don't care about that bird, I mean your cringe hired-hand, Rick! You don't have to pay him for his services!"
Amy put both her hands together pleading as she faced me, "Just send him away and I'll pick the feathers up myself... for free!"
It was a sobering reality... If I was good enough to become champion with allcommons, it meant that I trained considerably more than I needed to become Champion... It meant I might have had enough time to have a chance with Nikki before she was married...
Awww no, that sucks to realize : (
That and the realisation that maybe those six years of university weren't really necessary, oof
This admittedly was not how I expected the first two leader matches to go lol
But I guess it makes sense that they would get done so fast, one match was against the club absolutely weakest against Gentleman's strategy and the second was Rick lol
Gotan keeps being suspicious... Watching the news, trying to keep updated on... Something?
Here's chapter 17, and that title makes me VERY excited.
Love so pure that he was willing to live in a barbaric place that allowed poverty to exist just to be with her... I had to admit I was envious. He would be in his late thirties. I always wondered what became of him...
Ken's gaze softened. "Ah, Mr Gentleman. I wanted the surprise of the other types in my deck to give me an edge to defeat you, but it fell short. That's because you're the best." He then offered his hand
Murray threw down the spoon and raised his hands to the air. "CLAIRE!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT, BUT I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS USELESS PIECE OF METAL!!"
There's a typo with Murray, that I only noticed now because this quote was originally to comment on the fact that it would be hilarious if it turns out that Murray actually is the strongest psychic by having other powers outside of future sight, since this seems to be a more general sixth sense...
Another "lighter" chapter, I admittedly was expecting a bit more from the duel in this one too, but I guess it would run the risk of reading a bit too similar to the usual club matches and we already had plenty of chapters of those.
Personally I don't mind the fast pace for now because I assume we are going to focus on the Club Leaders that count more in terms of plot like Nikki and Isaac.
And I was actually right!!! His name IS Tango!! I feel so validated lol
I noticed the room had changed since my last visit. The padding in the room appeared to be thicker and there was a display rack now added to the corner with Neo Island katanas in it.
Oh no!!! (I must confess that I've played stall decks a couple times, even if usually I still win before I can actually stall the enemy out... In the pocket trading card game, at least.)
I had to will back some tears as I turned to Rick. "I'm not exactly sure why we became friends, but I'm glad we did. Thank you, Rick... That means a lot to me."
There's a couple of typos where you mispell Rhyhorn!
Another two masters down, and with Murray's prophecy, it's getting more and more likely that he will actually lose against either Nikki or Isaac...
This was another set up chapter with two more leader matches knocked out.
I actually really like both Club leaders showcased here; it's cool how Mitch genuinely looks out for his club members and went out of his way to make the Club room more comfortable for them! And safe, lol...
Meanwhile Gene is Gene. 10/10 character, coolest guy in the fic, I would love an entire spin off about his youth and showing everyone who's boss by becoming Club Leader despite people not believing he would amount to much.
Last chapter of the batch for 6 chapters total, Chapter 19! I saw the reference in that title...
Stephanie laughed. "So suspicious! But all I've done is help! Besides, you might not even die-" Her eyes then went wide. "O-oh! Got to go! I'm late for that... that thing I'm supposed to do! See you later!"
They were wearing a light-gray body-suit. It reminded me of something a diver might wear. A mask with the Pokemon TCG colorless symbol was worn. It lit up yellow where the eyes and mouth were. I wasn't quite sure how they saw out of it... The mouth was a smile. The eyes were squinting. Around their neck was a white choker with big letters attached along the front. A red "G" a white "2" and a red "R".
I suppose I could have tried to chase after them from the ground, but they had obviously put a lot of thought and effort into their departure spectacle. Who was I to ruin a good moment for them?
Tango then looked up with both heads from the trashcan. He scanned around with both heads for a moment and then resumed trotting alongside me as if both GR2 and the trashcan were never even a thing.
So Tango was hiding from the guy... I think the Doduo research facility was on Neo Island, right?
Quick interlude chapter with some more ominous foreshadowing and more hints that something really, really weird is going on on GR Island too... And now they know who Gentleman is!
And the little bit at the end feels like foreshadowing that the match with Nikki is not going to be as simple as he thinks...
He has a great memory. He also probably has them color coded and arranged in a line to make them easy to use. (In fact, I added that tidbit in. Naturally the lever to engage the drive was the red one.)
I like the rock garden design, especially because by hearing "Rock club" you usually would think of the classic giant boulders everywhere, classic Rock gym
Nice breather chapter and a way to cap off the first round of the Clubs. My highlight for the chapter was absolutely Gene. "Badass blind guy" is absolutely one of my favourite tropes no matter the setting and I can't wait to reach their match just to see more of him.
There were also some nice tidbits of world building, like the mention of no one having ever found remains of a Doduo... This coupled with the fact that they are disappearing + Gotan makes me think that something really strange is going on with Doduo and on the island in general.
Ok, now THIS is strange, but honestly my first assumption would be that it's really difficult for them to even build a deck, since booster packs seem to fetch quite the price, even more than in real life...
WHAT. ok now this is REALLY weird, are they literally like.... Programmed at birth to not be able to do it?? Because it's not like they simply don't know how to do it, it's like they are literally blocked from being able to LEARN the rules, and it's only this one specific thing, which is wild... I mean, literal kids can play the game. Not *well*, but they can still learn to do it.
Only other thing I want to mention about this chapter is that the narration (and both Gentleman and Rick? constantly referring to the immigrants as, well... Just "the immigrants" does sound quite a bit rude lol, almost dehumanizing a bit, especially in the scene where they are testing the game with them.
Just putting a couple "the man"/"the woman shook his/her head" can maybe help... unless it's intentional, of course...
I get that part of it is a joke about game sprites (of the receptionist characters in particular) all being the same,
I might make some changes to it at some point, because I don't disagree with your observation. I'm just not quite sure. I'll probably decide later when I get more feedback.
It's kind of like if you took a stereotype, made an entire people of it, and had them go around doing stuff. Are the people wrong for thinking of them all as the same or are they really actually all the same? In this case, they are basically all the same even though there are differences such as where they live, what specific jobs they do, and their individual experiences. It's like some crazy bizarre situation where a stereotype is more reflective of reality than usual. It is also a joke about NPCs in games (mainly that, honestly, you are correct). The rest of it was me trying to look at it from the perspective of their world. I also want to point out that none of them have names. Literally. (I can't remember if that was part of the chapter, but it will come up at some point in the plot later even if it wasn't)
but it is kinda strange that they only now notice that a specific group of people are literally identical, but I guess that there aren't *that* many of them...
It's also suspicious that one of the heads were not shown to be fine. Both choking at the same time with two separate necks? If it was a ploy, it wasn't thought out very well. Then again, if it was something that made Tango laugh, it came out of nowhere and he wouldn't have much time to plan, would he?
This admittedly was not how I expected the first two leader matches to go lol
But I guess it makes sense that they would get done so fast, one match was against the club absolutely weakest against Gentleman's strategy and the second was Rick lol
It's probably the strongest card in the first and second games if you build a proper deck around it. All you need to do is abuse the lack of penalty for mulligans in the game. Put 4 of it in a deck and then you are guaranteed to start with it every game. You load up the deck with trainer cards and once you get 3 energy you start slamming opponent Pokemon at random for 70 damage per attack. In the second game you can even build a variant that can abuse the Pokemon power to do 30 damage to another mon on the field and recall it back to hand with Scoop up and play it again and again. There is a chance you will hit your own Zapdos with it, but it's a 50% chance at greatest. By abusing it hard, you can defeat opponents with it before they can even take their first turn. Its annoying to play lots of duels with since you have to play an insane amount of cards in the turn to make it work, but it is the cheapest stupidest thing. (I don't plan to include that version of a Zapdos deck in the fic because it's too broken and even if I gave it to Mister Gentleman to use, it's too annoying to play lots of games with.)
In Book Two you will meet his daughter, but you won't recognize her as such. You will see her again in Book Three and it will be disclosed at that point that she is his daughter.
I was shocked by it too. It made no sense. Made him weaker than Jonathan too, honestly. That's why I turned it into a plot twist with the hardcore fire guy having more other stuff in it than any other Club Master.
There's a typo with Murray, that I only noticed now because this quote was originally to comment on the fact that it would be hilarious if it turns out that Murray actually is the strongest psychic by having other powers outside of future sight, since this seems to be a more general sixth sense...
Murray is the strongest psychic on TCG Island(in terms of psychic power), though Stephanie can probably give him a run for his money. The other two club members aren't far behind. Honestly they are all a bunch of prodigies. Psychics aren't limited to future sight and sixth sense. They can have other powers too, but most don't have other powers.
Another "lighter" chapter, I admittedly was expecting a bit more from the duel in this one too, but I guess it would run the risk of reading a bit too similar to the usual club matches and we already had plenty of chapters of those.
Personally I don't mind the fast pace for now because I assume we are going to focus on the Club Leaders that count more in terms of plot like Nikki and Isaac.
Oh no!!! (I must confess that I've played stall decks a couple times, even if usually I still win before I can actually stall the enemy out... In the pocket trading card game, at least.)
This was another set up chapter with two more leader matches knocked out.
I actually really like both Club leaders showcased here; it's cool how Mitch genuinely looks out for his club members and went out of his way to make the Club room more comfortable for them! And safe, lol...
Meanwhile Gene is Gene. 10/10 character, coolest guy in the fic, I would love an entire spin off about his youth and showing everyone who's boss by becoming Club Leader despite people not believing he would amount to much.
Gene would make for a pretty cool spin-off protagonist. I currently don't have plans for a spin-off, but you are making me think it might be interesting. There is a way I could make that happen, but if I did, it would likely not be written until after the main series concludes.
Yeah, I love his completely care-free attitude about it all. By the way, I thought my selection for the track of meeting GR2 was pretty interesting. It's pretty obscure too. Not sure if you would give it a listen, but I consider it to be GR2's theme.
Quick interlude chapter with some more ominous foreshadowing and more hints that something really, really weird is going on on GR Island too... And now they know who Gentleman is!
There is definitely something afoot on GR Island. That is also where the majority of my original version of my fic took place. The original needs to be rewritten which is what will become my Book Two. I'll be keeping lots of elements from it, but it definitely needs a makeover. My writing has improved a ton since the last time I seriously tried to edit the original.
Hello there! I saw that you fic was recommended in the Review Blitz thread, and I decided to give it a look! I have a lot of fun looking up random trivia about spin-off games, and so a fic about a VERY obscure one appealed to me. This reminded me a lot of one of the Yu-Gi-Oh! video games for the Gameboy Color that actually didn't deal with cards but had a similar layout of fighting opponents using capsule monsters.
Firstly, I praise your creativity with this fic. It's very original because the source material it draws from is one I haven't seen used otherwise. I had never heard of the TCG video game before and I know very little about the real life Pokemon TCG (although it's quite popular now, and I have a friend who takes part in tournaments!). I think you overall do a good job of explaining the rules for it when the protagonist is teaching Billy, especially since some of the rules don't follow the video game conventions that most Pokemon fans are accustomed to.
Speaking of Billy, I ADORE that segment of the prologue! He truly acts like a real-life six-year-old with his many questions that he thinks are completely reasonable and that the protagonist takes offense to. He reminds me a lot of my nieces and nephews! I also liked the one instance where he points out how someone can easily take advantage of the TCG and discusses the mulligan rule--just like how 5% of what little kids say will be super insightful and actually make adults stop and think. This whole part with Billy made me literally laugh and smile, it was so cute and funny!
Looking at a fic with trading card games, my mind immediately wondered, "How similar will this be to YGO?" and sure enough, Billy expected it to be just like YGO as well!
"Billy! No! We do not do that! You have to settle disputes with the Pokemon Trading Card Game! If a group of foreigners invaded our land, held our people hostage and stole most of our cards, the only way to stop them would be by winning duels against them in the TCG!"
Ah, so this really IS Yu-Gi-Oh! This is another bit that made me laugh, so well done there!
I do enjoy how the logic is vry different from our world, but is still consistent with the Pokemon world in general. I burst out laughing at this line:
"Psychics determined aliens don't exist, and that was centuries ago."
Because it totally fits with Pokemon! It's funny for us, but it works really well with immersing the readers in your world.
And just a special mention to this line since it was so funny:
But a monthly subscription for automatic heads for 'Bill's Teleporter'? That was completely uncalled for! (I signed up for it anyway because I needed my card-draw!)
But also, very relatable to real-life issues! I know MANY people constantly sign up for new subscriptions to get a certain deal and then immediately cancel them, hehe. And I enjoy how it comes back later on when his opponents ask how come he kept getting heads at every turn.
Speaking of his opponents, I wonder how a 28-year-old felt about going to the Grass Club and beating a bunch of children at card games. He seemed unfazed for the most part, and was only getting torn up when thinking about Nikki when he saw her daughter. I was a little curious if 28 is considered "old" for a TCG player in this world, since the Grass and Water Club members were so much younger than he was.
I also thought you wrote the backstory with Nikki really well! It really tugged at my heartstrings to read of his childhood love and how it was lost--and not just lost, but lost to his best friend, and he heard of them getting married and even met their child! And then his insecurities of "would women really want me, or just want the champion?" is all too relatable. It was a good little tearjerker in the midst of these otherwise silly scenes. I especially liked this part:
Perhaps these halls would someday contain a family I would make? I certainly wasn't opposed to the idea... But alas, I'd never had a girlfriend and found the concept of romance somewhat alien and inscrutable.
Sometimes, the most appealing part of a future family life isn't the romance itself, but the kids that can come with it, and having a companion to walk through life with you!
It was funny to watch the members of the Water Club flirt with the protagonist, but especially funny to see his interactions with Isaac. The poor kid is totally taken advantage of by the women in the club, and the protagonist can't even remember what Pokemon he used in their duel together!
I also think you write the duels really well. Writing technical things like the turns in a card game can very easily become boring and tedious, so I think you do a good job of quickly going through what happened so that the important details are there, but you're not spending too much time on it. And you do a great job of keeping the tone consistent throughout! The narrator's voice is so omnipresent through the whole story, and I can easily get a sense of his attitude even just by how you emphasise or capitalise certain words. Well done!
The only thing I'd say I'm a bit iffy on is the insertion of graphics in the text. On the one hand, it certainly does make it more unique and keep the readers immersed in the video game world. On the other, I find that images distract from the mental imagery and flow that I have when reading the story. I know you've already progressed far in this fic and worked on it a lot. And it's not really a critique, just a personal thing on my end.
Lastly, what a surprise with Imakuni! I love the little bait-and-switch ending for Chapter 2--I thought that Amy would be the final opponent for the Water Club, and then Imakuni just waltzes in out of nowhere! It was delightfully random. Thank you for adding the note at the end about who he is and how he shows up, because I was very confused!
Overall, I had a wonderful time reading this fic, and definitely love the orginality you've given us. Thank you for this gem!
That seems to be one of the main appeals of my fic: the uniqueness. There really isn't any other fic out there like mine. (I've checked) There are almost no fics about the TCG in general, actually. There was one that went pretty far that followed Ash, but that just took the Pokemon anime and focused on the TCG with the cast. Anything that follows the games is either poorly written or extremely short by comparison.
This reminded me a lot of one of the Yu-Gi-Oh! video games for the Gameboy Color that actually didn't deal with cards but had a similar layout of fighting opponents using capsule monsters.
I guess you did not utilize the soundtrack. Kind of makes me sad how everyone ignores it. There is only one exchange partner who uses it and provides feedback on it. I did hear from someone that they like the way the soundtrack signifies a change in tone and helps to segment different sections within a chapter. Ultimately, I'll probably still keep including a soundtrack with it. It's really neat to go back and read chapters while listening to it if you already read it without the soundtrack.
But regarding your comment here, thank you so much! Creativity is one of the biggest things I do in this fic. So much of the story and plot from the game is so bare-bones that I pretty much had to construct most of the lore and characters from scratch. It kind of makes it more original fiction than fanfiction in a way, but it doesn't lend itself well to rewriting as original fiction, so I won't ever make any money on it. That's ok though. As long as people read it, enjoy it, and tell me about it, that will be enough for me.
I had never heard of the TCG video game before and I know very little about the real life Pokemon TCG (although it's quite popular now, and I have a friend who takes part in tournaments!).
I think you overall do a good job of explaining the rules for it when the protagonist is teaching Billy, especially since some of the rules don't follow the video game conventions that most Pokemon fans are accustomed to.
I get mixed reviews on this sometimes. Some people think it's not written well enough or immersive enough for it. Others seem to like it. I'm glad to hear it worked well for you!
Speaking of Billy, I ADORE that segment of the prologue! He truly acts like a real-life six-year-old with his many questions that he thinks are completely reasonable and that the protagonist takes offense to. He reminds me a lot of my nieces and nephews! I also liked the one instance where he points out how someone can easily take advantage of the TCG and discusses the mulligan rule--just like how 5% of what little kids say will be super insightful and actually make adults stop and think. This whole part with Billy made me literally laugh and smile, it was so cute and funny!
Looking at a fic with trading card games, my mind immediately wondered, "How similar will this be to YGO?" and sure enough, Billy expected it to be just like YGO as well!
Yes, that's because Billy is formed from the thoughts of my various reviewers. Rather than having every single reviewer ask me how much it was or wasn't going to be like YGO, I just decided to lampshade it instead. Plus I'm also a fan of the original YGO anime and the references to it amuse me.
Actually, that was a reference to the actual plot of the Pokemon TCG sequel for Game Boy Color. Team GR invades TCG Island and steals everyone's cards. You then take some cards they missed and start winning duels against them to drive them away from the island and go on a quest to get everyone's stolen cards back by dueling your way through GR Island. I don't mind it being interpreted as a YGO reference though!
I do enjoy how the logic is vry different from our world, but is still consistent with the Pokemon world in general. I burst out laughing at this line:
And just a special mention to this line since it was so funny:
But also, very relatable to real-life issues! I know MANY people constantly sign up for new subscriptions to get a certain deal and then immediately cancel them, hehe. And I enjoy how it comes back later on when his opponents ask how come he kept getting heads at every turn.
One thing I want to point out: this fic was based on a lets play by me and I did not use cheats. That means the odds were 50/50. That means that despite the subscription, he is NOT getting any benefit from it. He only thinks he is.
There is a subplot for why it doesn't work which you will hear more of later if you continue to read. (Which I honestly hope you do! You coming back would be extra-special since I am not motivating you to do it with a review exchange like I have to do for almost everyone else. No hard feelings if you don't though. It is a long fic, after all...)
It's usually not a problem for him unless his opponent is especially young and cute. People of all ages play the Pokemon TCG in their world. Toddlers don't play it, though.
He seemed unfazed for the most part, and was only getting torn up when thinking about Nikki when he saw her daughter. I was a little curious if 28 is considered "old" for a TCG player in this world, since the Grass and Water Club members were so much younger than he was.
Yes, it's odd that so many players are younger. I thought about ways to add an in-fic explanation for it. I considered that most of the adults died in a big war with the TCG established as a world-wide standard for settling disputes, but I'm not looking for a war as a big event in the fic because it would get in the way of other already established lore. I also considered changing the way human aging works, but that would be odd for a number of established characters.
So, I think I'll stick to my established semi-head-canon: That the reason kids play the TCG is because they aren't intellectually developed enough to do the kinds of traditional jobs that adults do. Adults usually don't play the TCG much better than kids, so it's usually easier for them to make more money by doing typical adult jobs instead. And if an adult or an older kid isn't on track to becoming the next Club Master, then there isn't as much incentive for them to keep at it. As for why adults don't play much better than kids, there is a sub-plot dedicated to that.
I also thought you wrote the backstory with Nikki really well! It really tugged at my heartstrings to read of his childhood love and how it was lost--and not just lost, but lost to his best friend, and he heard of them getting married and even met their child!
And then his insecurities of "would women really want me, or just want the champion?" is all too relatable. It was a good little tearjerker in the midst of these otherwise silly scenes.
I especially liked this part:
Sometimes, the most appealing part of a future family life isn't the romance itself, but the kids that can come with it, and having a companion to walk through life with you!
Ah, you mean Joshua. Isaac is his old childhood friend. No worries though. There are a TON of characters in the fic. Thankfully I reduce the focus to a hand full of characters rather than trying to split screen time evenly among them all.
The poor kid is totally taken advantage of by the women in the club, and the protagonist can't even remember what Pokemon he used in their duel together!
It means a lot to hear comments like this. Sometimes people say it's written adequate but needs improvement. Everything in Book One is written with my current level of writing skill. I do hope to improve it more as I go, but that's the best I've got for now. I've come a long way in 9 months since my original writing spree for my fic and I'm glad it's to the point where people can reasonably enjoy it without being fixated on a lack of quality.
Writing technical things like the turns in a card game can very easily become boring and tedious, so I think you do a good job of quickly going through what happened so that the important details are there, but you're not spending too much time on it. And you do a great job of keeping the tone consistent throughout!
I think what I have is working and it's wonderful to get affirmation from things from more people. Thank you!!
Later I'll see if I can make it even more dynamic with perhaps more dialogue during the duel or actions or movements. I'm also still in the process of creating the other books, so it's an odd balancing act between improving existing chapters and writing new ones.
The narrator's voice is so omnipresent through the whole story, and I can easily get a sense of his attitude even just by how you emphasise or capitalise certain words. Well done!
It's been a while since I last had a review that was so purely positive from so many different angles. I'd love to see you read more of the fic later. It seems like one you would enjoy all the way!
The only thing I'd say I'm a bit iffy on is the insertion of graphics in the text. On the one hand, it certainly does make it more unique and keep the readers immersed in the video game world. On the other, I find that images distract from the mental imagery and flow that I have when reading the story. I know you've already progressed far in this fic and worked on it a lot. And it's not really a critique, just a personal thing on my end.
I'm shocked! I don't think I've had anyone mention they disliked the graphics!
What a unique perspective! But the fact of the matter is that most readers seem to enjoy them and I've spent a ton of effort including them so they will be there to stay... but feel free to ignore them!
Lastly, what a surprise with Imakuni! I love the little bait-and-switch ending for Chapter 2--I thought that Amy would be the final opponent for the Water Club,
and then Imakuni just waltzes in out of nowhere! It was delightfully random. Thank you for adding the note at the end about who he is and how he shows up, because I was very confused!
A review for three chapters all at once. Thanks so much!!
And if you haven't noticed, the chapters going forward are very small, so you could easily wrack up a lot of points for week two that starts in 6 hours from now! Please stop by again any time. I'd love to hear more from you!
Here I am for Week 2 of the blitz! I plan to use the catch up theme for all it's worth lol
Don't have much time today so here's three chapters!
Let's see what happens in the climatic showdown!
I allowed the rest of the club members to go home early for the day. Fat load of good they did anyway after the embarrassment of them losing to an all-common deck...
Every time I heard her mutter his name in her sleep, my anger boiled... The only way she could truly be mine was if she stopped thinking about him... Or learned to hate him.
As for his reputation, I'd done what I could getting Stephanie to write that tabloid about him. It cost me a month's salary, but was worth EVERY cent! She had quite the active imagination...
Anyway... I paid Stephanie some more money to keep messing up the coin-flips for Mister Gentleman's "Gambler" card, so hopefully that would give Nikki and I an edge against him.
Ok, this chapter revealed quite some juicy bits of info!
Isaac is a scumbag because he's been pretty much gaslighting himself into believing that it's all Gentleman's fault for everything that happened, but the thing I found most interesting was him hiring GR2 to apparently kidnap Gentleman?? I find it kind of amusing that apparently you can fight your way out of even a kidnapping by having a duel, lol
Really curious about what kind of deck GR2 has to be called "monstrous"... My theory is that it's either:
1) Full of legendary cards (a bit difficult to run)
2) It uses never before seen cards because they are cards used on GR Island (dun dun dun)! It would make sense for people on TCG Island to have no idea how to counter that, since they apparently have no concept of "new cards".
(I also just realised that they only have Gen 1 cards, just like in the first game, but they know of Ho-oH.... Does GR Island have Gen 2 cards? If it's based on the sequel's game, probably right?
In that case, I'm very excited to see where this is going!)
Since there was no way he was in on our act, being the dumb bird that he is, I reasoned that confrontation upset and scared him. Kind of like a dog... poor bird.
She used Venusaur's power, Energy Trans, to move all grass energy off of it to Caterpie!! She then played the now-dreaded Pokemon Center to completely restore all of Venusaur's HP! She then used Energy Trans again to move all three energy back and attached ANOTHER from hand!
I loved this!!! That ability really is busted considering the cards available at the time.
Also interesting that Pokémon centers works like that, I would have assumed you need to remove energy from the Pokémon you are healing, that was smart!!
Poor guy : (
Even if they tell Nikki it was all an act later, there's still the risk his relationship with her will be ruined
So, we have the first of the two big matches, and I like how Gentleman destroyed her but then actually got absolutely demolished in the second match, things got quite tense for a moment there. A seemingly unkillable Venusaur that fires off Solarbeam oneshotting anything in his deck was quite terrifying!
(And made me think of my own Venusaur deck in Pocket lol)
I also liked Nikki going as far as showing him the cards before actually playing them, just so that he has time to connect the dots and realize what is coming.
Vicious lol
So... now I'm thinking of Murray's prophecy. He's technically lost once, so the prophecy could be referring to that, or he could lose once against Isaac too... Really curious to see what strategy Isaac will employ.
Or if Gentleman really does get kidnapped lol
The time before I betrayed Mister Gentleman by dating Isaac... It was the closest thing to happy I had ever been... It was also before I learned I would never play the TCG on equal footing against Mister Gentleman...
That's why I was going to marry whichever became champion. Doing that would have taken the choice out of my hands... and the guilt along with it. Far from a perfect solution, but I loved them both. It was the best answer I could think of...
She may think she loved them both but it doesn't seem like it's actually the case... I think she didn't want to admit to herself that she loves Gentleman more
That's why I used my once-in-a-lifetime visit to the Oracle to ask her to help me improve at the Pokemon TCG! Every TCG Island citizen is born with the right to one meeting in their life with the Oracle. Being an AI she could be any gender depending on their mood. For me, she was a girl.
That's interesting how there's the possibility to do that. It sounds a bit like people would mostly be afraid to "waste" their request and hold on to it because "what if I ask it something and then get something really important I want their opinion on".
Still, that's a really interesting detail...
I wonder if other characters visited it.
Maybe that's why I liked gardening so much. You can control it. The amount of water, the temperature, selecting where to prune or not to prune, and the soil. Give a plant everything it needs and it will grow beautifully...
Aw, that's cute but also kind of sad. It's the only part of her life where she feels actually in control...
Well, this chapter was kinda sad... It was interesting to see Nikki's point of view. She keeps telling herself that she has to devote herself to Isaac and her kids and that the choice of who she married was not in her hands, but it sounds like she actually regrets marrying Isaac a lot, and subsequently feels horrible for it.
Another interesting detail was the mention of the fact that at a certain point, both her and Isaac's skills in the game stopped improving, which I assume led to Isaac also growing increasingly frustrated with Gentleman, since he apparently has never stopped improving.
Other than a cheeky reference to the fact that he is the player character while they are constrained to being NPC, it feels like in universe there is actually something physical that's stopping them from progressing and getting better, leading to stagnation... This plus the Neo Islands clones is making me almost think that the world is in a sort of Matrix situation.
In universe they literally are npcs in a game/simulation led by the Oracle or something like that, and the once in a lifetime visit to the Oracle is basically the Oracle "upgrading" them, but past that simple modification they can't change and improve again?
Maybe not quite literally a simulation, but... *Something* is really, really off.
Wow, that escalated quickly! Chapter 10 and Chapter 11 turned out to be a real showstopper! Here's my overall impression first:
After grinding through the clubs, we're now getting to meet what seems to be our first serious antagonist. Isaac comes across as genuinely resentful of the Champion. The tension rises throughout the chapter until the very end, doing a good job of keeping the reader going. We have some unexpected stuff happening as well - Isaac punching the protagonist is shocking, as well as going to kick him while he's down and hitting Gotan instead. Obviously we are all hooked on why Isaac is acting so aggressively. His behavior seems maniacal, from incentivizing his underlings with money to, most deviously, using his daughter. You handle the atmosphere well, telegraphing to the reader ahead of time that this is not going to be like the other club challenges.
Ronald's expression ceased as he looked away from the camera. "Well, I did a little digging... It turns out that the notion of 'not dueling you' originated from the Lightning Club. It happened almost simultaneously at the Grass Club and then spread to the other clubs soon after."
I furrowed my brow. "The... Lightning Club?"
Ronald looked me in the eyes without amusement. "It first started... with Issac."
My old best friend... Issac? I knew our friendship had long since died... But why would he do such a thing? Isaac was already married to Nikki. I'd have gladly traded my success if it meant having her by my side...
Now that's unexpected! Why would Isaac do that? Seems petty. If people aren't going to fight the Champion, well, that's their own business! But it's certainly involved to try spreading this idea to people.
Ronald squinted back at me. "I like the art. It's cute. And you did 80 damage, so it wouldn't have even MATTERED! But I don't think you will see another game go like that..."
Hitmonchan, had a high HP of 70, a 20 damage attack for only one fighting energy, and an even stronger 40 damage attack for three energy. Sure, evolutions of other mon were stronger, but they required evolution cards for each stage and often could only attack with many energy attached. Most basic mon with evolution capability typically only had 50HP at maximum and thus were easier to KO unless the opponent could evolve them.
Taking all that into account, Hitmonchan Lv33 wasn't just a decent rare card, it was the ultimate foe for my deck and terrifyingly effective versus other decks too!
Good to see that the Champion is finding and thinking about weaknesses in his deck! This way he can think about new strategies - and we the reader can see new things come up too.
Ronald and I visited the official Pokemon TCG website on my desktop computer and poured over all the common cards in the game. We collaborated to brainstorm various strategies, including an idea to replace fire in my deck with grass. Specifically, with Venomoth.
The day grew late, however, and we hadn't had a chance to put together a proper prototype of the deck. I did, however, come up with what the deck would be named: 'MothZapper'
Perhaps I would finish planning the deck at a later date when Ronald had some more time. It just wouldn't have felt right to finish it without him.
So, in order for him to become champion in the first place, he had to travel around to all the different clubs, beat all the members, and then beat all the leaders. Once he did that, he had the right to challenge the current Champion to a 2 out of 3 match. He won and became champion. Since he became champion recently
Oohh Okay. See I couldn't remember how long ago he became champion bc if it was like... 3-4 years ago that would make the kid like 5. So idk what counts as like, legally smart enough to do TCG but I'd be surprised if he were old enough to do it reliably at 5. But it turns out I am terrible at memory. He became champion a few months ago, hah. Don't mind me, don't mind me.
Rick frowned with wide eyes. "That is a horrible thing to say!" He crossed his arms and lowered his head, "...It also happens to be exactly what I was thinking even if I wasn't going to say it... They really DO all sound alike and look similar! Are we a couple of racists or something?!" Rick grabbed the hair on both sides of his head.
Rick shifted his gaze to me. "Really? First racism and now you don't even think they are human? Besides, we don't have technology sophisticated enough to create something like that. NO WHERE in the world does!"
We spent the next few hours asking random immigrants for strands of hair. It helped that Rick had his lab coat and that we needed the hair strands 'for science'.
Once we collected the hair, we asked a male immigrant to duel us in the the Pokemon TCG. We gave him Rick's deck and I opted to play against the immigrant.
Rick dropped his smile. "From all seven DIFFERENT samples, three male and four female... The results came back and they are all... identical. All the females have the same DNA as the other females. The same is the case for the males."
Rick glanced quickly to both sides and whispered more. "This was NOT that hard to figure out... I can't IMAGINE we are the ONLY ones to EVER do so..."
I looked back at Rick with wide eyes starting to feel a sense of panic, whispering back. "...Then what happened to the others?"
Rick looked at me with the most serious face I had ever seen from him and whispered back. "They must have been silenced. Either voluntarily... or more likely... by FORCE!"
I was JUST gonna say there's no way nobody noticed this?? Every time I think this is a utopia something else dark about it is revealed, which is par the couse for anywhere that seems like a utopia lol.
At that point, Rick and I made a solemn vow n e v e r to speak of our findings to anyone. We may not have had all the answers, but we had FAR more than enough!
UH YEAH
But also what the heck oh no??? Thats some mind blowing discoveries.
Okay wow this chapter was. whew what the HECK. talk about conspiracies!! I have to say I did not expect any of that, I wonder where this'll go. The whole chapter was me going "???" "WHAT" over and over to myself with increasing severity lol. It does sometimes lightly tread the border of being unintentionally uncomfortable but I think its all meant for humor(?) anyway, though I can see where some may find the immigrant thing grating/uncomfortable as far as the humor not landing well. I don't have specific advice there and maybe it wont even be a problem, just a passing thought.
I think its worth considering if thats a thing you're worried about, since this seems like its meant to come off as comedic. Then again, comedy can be fairly subjective. Just a thought that it may not land with everyone or could be misconstrued.
That aside now I have SO many questions. What on earth is going on hah. Is this gonna be like those april fools comedy episodes where we truly never speak of this earth shattering development ever again? Because that would be equally funny. On the other hand like. Why. How even. So many ethical and execution concerns... Thats so messed up to make people but then also make them not able to play TCG (which is the main form of doing anything in this world... Yikes. Dystopic.
I furrowed my brow. "I do not want to like Amy. She is relentless in her pursuit of my prestige... Prior to becoming well known, she had NO interest in me whatsoever!"
Amy waved her hand dismissively. "NO! Not Doduo! I don't care about that bird, I mean your cringe hired-hand, Rick! You don't have to pay him for his services!"
I read this line several times but I think the phrasing is unclear? I get the idea that he's checking if matches need to be rescheduled(?) but the actual words are kind of confusing, might be worth redoing? maybe you meant 'opening my phone'?
Ew dub. I wonder if their world also has garbage music for their dubs (or maybe thats just pokemon hah). Also him liking romantic anime makes sooo much sense.
But when I came back from the bathroom, I found the channel set to the world news... Embarrassingly, I thought Gotan was responsible... Upon closer inspection, I found the controller wedged between the cushion. Obviously it changed accidentally. A bird changing the channel to catch up on the news... Clearly my imagination was a bit too healthy!
You fool, Gotan was trying to watch the news! And then he probably tried to hide the remote. Rude, you interrupted Tango's news watching. Silly gentleman, when will you learn that Tango is the smartest bestest bird ever.
I was wondering just how insane this music could possibly be and I was not prepared. I assume that it wasn't possible to find without a soundcloud link? kind of annoying that soundcloud forces you to make an account but nevertheless, that is some wild music. Kinda catchy tho too. Very Bird.
It was a sobering reality... If I was good enough to become champion with allcommons, it meant that I trained considerably more than I needed to become Champion...
This did make me think for a bit about how well someone would do if they just copied the Champion's deck, which made me also consider if club leaders or champions can patent their decks, or if its free for all. Could someone just use the exact same setof cards and win as well as Gentleman? What constitutes 'training' too, since its part math and part chance, as opposed to say the anime battles that are more about training and skill? You can't develop muscles to play the game better but you can learn about probability and odds but at some point that stops.
There's obviously a skill element still but it did get me thinking about how effectively someone else would be able to utilize the Gentlemans deck.
Otherwise a fairly tame set of chapters here as he makes progress on his goal. Amy's bit was more for comedy than a serious duel, since it was never in question if she would win really. That and we got Rick's duel, which also was more of a quick affair since Rick didn't really stand a chance.
Thats already 2 Club Masters down and he actually does stand a real chance. I also wonder if we'll see that Moth deck crop up again?
Also I guess this chapter confirms that everyone being clones may never come up again lol??
Also wow its been just over a month in the story. Or maybe closer to two but still. Crazy stuff to happen, uncovering worldwide conspiracies, adopting a bird, having revelations about his love life, making new friends...
Ken laughed. "Well! I look forward to it! Coming from you, it would likely be the best mono-fire deck the world had ever seen! I would love to wield such a deck."
Steve wielded a deck using the legendary version of Zapdos. Apparently he was the last member of Ho-Ohism. A religion focused on the worship of Ho-Oh which he spoke of often.
Give up romance Gentleman /hj. All you need is Gotan and best friends imo. Also his opinionated attitude towards other islands is really funny. I know other stories after this one will go to other islands so im curious if his take on them is accurate or slightly jaded by his strong opinions.
Ken's deck surprised me! He was running not only fire types, but normal, fighting, and even WATER! For the longest time he had been so focused on only fire and now he was branching out!
I returned the offer and shook his hand. "Ken, you impressed me with that. I never thought I would see you mix another type with fire, let alone two! And that isn't even counting colorless! Thank you, for the stimulating game."
Hmmm no no, pretty sure its Gotan :P Jokes aside technically if Doduo are two-headed doesn't that mean both versions of the name are simultaneously correct? Is one head named Go and the other Tan? It sounds like that, so I am going to take it as both names being right
Well thank goodness for Murray though either way. he may not be able to bend a spoon but at least he can read nametags better than Gentleman I guess lol. Everyone can't be smart at everything.
Fire Club and Psychic Club were pretty quick and came together easy enough, even if there was a slight challenge. Psychic Club is kind of funny, I guess the powers dont work over the phone? I'd think Murray wouldn't even need to schedule a match but I guess thats procedure or courtesy? Also Murray says they may not all end in victory so I wonder if thats Isaac or somebody else. I'll be so mad for Gentlean if he loses to Isaac. Maybe it'll be at the grass club instead.
Also that clone thing still hasn't been mentioned so. I am guessing thats going to be a secret we never speak of again lol.
The time was fast approaching for my duels against Nikki and Isaac. I decided to put them off with Isaac being last. Next on my list was Mitch, the Fighting Club Master.
Lol. So the real question now is if he knew this and was yanking everyone's chains or if he's just oblivious and Im not sure which option is funnier... Maybe him being entirely sincere, ehehehe
For the first good while, I was using Doduo to tank against Machop and the same version of Hitmonchan that was the bane of my deck's existence...(The one the former champ, Ronald, used against me.)
You know, I wonder why more people don't get a pet Doduo, they seem pretty useful! I can't recall if this was directly addressed why or why not. Even with the care required...
I assembled several Voltorb on my bench and began zapping away. He managed to take one down with Kangaskhan, but once I KOed that, the rest of his mon offered little resistance.
Gene waggled a finger. "The way your movements changed around her, it was unmistakable to me. You were in love with her. You never did end up with her and there is something very much unresolved between you. Throw in your old best friend who married her, and it's a disaster. I've been around a long time and developed a keen sense for these things."
Well, don't let Isaac know that. For that matter, don't let Nikki know either. Your anger for Isaac could shake her confidence in Isaac's side of the story. If you win, let one of them 'talk' you out of the lawsuit. Perhaps then, you can reason with them."
"I agree with Gene, here. We can't afford to fight fairly against Isaac. Let's use every advantage we can short of cheating in the Pokemon TCG, of course. Above all, you are not in the wrong here, Mister Gentleman. If anyone is, it's Isaac."
I do appreciate this, I like when MC's don't always try to play at being 'honorable'. Like sure, don't cheat, but be clever. Your opponent (Isaac in this case) is trying to ruin you and you do NOT have to take that lying down and blindly accept it. Be wily and aware.
I quickly dismissed the idea. A dumb bird who perfectly understood the concept of rock gardens, but little else? Ridiculous! Perhaps his house-training was coming into play mixed with sheer coincidence... Still, it was a pity I didn't get the miraculous spectacle on camera. No one would ever believe me without it!
Gene pulled out his sleeved deck from his robe. Each sleeve had a unique pattern of braille so he could tell each card apart. Since everyone would always announce what actions they take in duels as was the world-wide custom, Gene was always able to easily tell what was happening in a duel.
Aww yay! he did it! But the hardest battles remain still, yike.
So that makes two Club Leaders down and two to go.... the hardest two. I'm honestly glad for now we compressed two into one here and didn't spend too much time on these battles.
The outcome feels like a forgone conclusion in light of Nikki and Isaac's battles coming up, so making these go by quickly makes sense, at least for now. I briefly thought maybe they were too fast but when I thought about it I realized I'm not as interested in those matches.
The drama set up with Isaac is taking up the central focus and the part I most want to read. Besides we already saw how he handled those typings. (I also guess since this is a Let's Play it wasn't as hard to beat these guys and there was no losses?). What makes this scarier and adds tension is that Psychic Club guy said that not everything in Gentleman's future will be victories. So... does this mean he'll lose to Nikki? Or even worse, Isaac? I'm hoping its Nikki!
I wonder how he'll faire seeing Nikki again, since I presume that will be his next match...
Stephanie laughed. "So suspicious! But all I've done is help! Besides, you might not even die-" Her eyes then went wide. "O-oh! Got to go! I'm late for that... that thing I'm supposed to do! See you later!"
I learned their secret with the Neo Island clones... What if they intend to torture me for information?! What if they install some kind of mind-control device in my brain?! What if they clone me and replace me with the clone?!
Tango went wide-eyed for a moment before finding a nearby trashcan to pluck in for Mew knew what! The bird made considerably less noise in the trashcan than I would have figured...
It lit up yellow where the eyes and mouth were. I wasn't quite sure how they saw out of it... The mouth was a smile. The eyes were squinting. Around their neck was a white choker with big letters attached along the front. A red "G" a white "2" and a red "R".
Yes because this guy definitely isn't giving massive red flags and just wants to help and recognize your skill. yup. man you're not very bright about stranger danger are you lol
After a second GR2 looked like a jolt of electricity had just ran through their body as they turned to face me. "O-oh! Haha! No... I have all the answers I need... And far more than my wildest imagination... Many thanks to you... Champion..."
GR2 grabbed a handle on a nearby rope that was dangling over the roof down next to them. Suddenly they were pulled up by some unknown mechanism over the roof and out of sight!
I suppose I could have tried to chase after them from the ground, but they had obviously put a lot of thought and effort into their departure spectacle. Who was I to ruin a good moment for them?
Dude this is like. a villain. not an adoring fan. ah man
This chapter is clearly foreshadowing something. G2R sounds like bad bad news. Its very funny to me that Gentleman doesn't think of this figure as a threat at all or even dangerous. I do remember something about TCG being a utopia and I think there's no crime? So i guess thats why but stil, man hah. Stranger Danger!
Also this is clearly connected to Tango somehow. Either Tango Gotan simply recognizes the danger or whoever this is actually knows Tango... Also a scout supposedly from another island... I wonder if this is a far future tease or set to be far more important very soon. Guess we'll learn more later. Though if I had to guess our lovely friend Isaac may or may not have his hands in this
I allowed the rest of the club members to go home early for the day. Fat load of good they did anyway after the embarrassment of them losing to an all-common deck...
I paced back and forth on my stage.
That was NOT what I had in mind when I succeeded in getting all the other clubs not to duel Mister Gentleman...
Oooo POV change! And Isaac too. This is sure to be a riot. I did not see this coming. I wonder, is the meta context for this that Isaac is writing in his own diary? or is this just a glimpse into his POV?
Isaac is a grade A jerk but I do kind of get this, I can't say i'd be pleased to feel like my spouse were settling for me and calling out for their old crush in their sleep.
As for his reputation, I'd done what I could getting Stephanie to write that tabloid about him. It cost me a month's salary, but was worth EVERY cent! She had quite the active imagination...
The BETRAYAL !wow. I know stephanie didn't really promise not to but man thats a jerk move on principle generally. But I guess if she's shady that means she's on no side but her own and the highest bidder. Actually if he's double dipping for the gentleman and Isaac she's the real winner here lol.
I would have Nikki make the same stipulation as me: if Mister Gentleman lost a two out of three match against her, he would permanently forfeit his title of champion. He was still at his weakest using only commons in his deck... This way there would be two tries to dethrone him... One for my self, and one for Nikki... Though to be honest, I had no confidence in Nikki winning against him. If her grass types didn't get in the way, her adulterous feelings towards him would...
Anyway... I paid Stephanie some more money to keep messing up the coin-flips for Mister Gentleman's "Gambler" card, so hopefully that would give Nikki and I an edge against him.
SO THATS WHY
Holy smokes twist and reveal... this explains so much. I must dwell upon this... this puts a lot into perspective. I think its really interesting that this is definitely scummy but I also still think about how in this world the Gentleman considers getting Stephanie to fix his coinflips in his favor is fine but someone swaying it against him isnt. But man, wow Stephanie, thanks for nothing lol. I want a refund!
GR2 was a true professional. They even performed a mock-kidnapping on me as a demonstration. Even aware it was coming, I still wasn't able to stop it. And GR2's deck? Monstrous... No common deck would stop it... Even I stood no chance!
With our Champion gone, he would eventually fade from the public eye... Hopefully Nikki's mind would finally be faithful to me. And who knew? With him out of the picture, maybe I could finally become the Champion I always should have been? Then, Nikki would look at me the way I'd always deserved and forget all about Mister Gentleman...
Okay but do you gotta be so awful to your daughters along the way? Jerk.
Man though, this chapter explains so much. Comes at a good time too I think, building on all these little mysteries being setup along the way. Also gives us a great insight into his deranged thought processes and goals. I'm also very intrigued by the switch of POV's although it does leave me pretty curious and slightly confused by what the in-universe reasoning is? Are we getting to read Isaac's journal somehow? Is this like, just a story told the way any story is? its dated, so I assume diary entry but I wonder the meta reason its included.
Also we finally get to see into Isaac's head. Utter jerk and yet...
I have no sympathy for him in the slightest but it does make me curious. Unless he's a super unrealiable narrator, it raises some interesting points about him and Nikki. She tries to hide it but she clearly has strong feelings still for Gentleman. I often find it unfair to a person if the otherone only gets with them as a fallback or revenge dating. If that be the case, I can't say I agree with/condone Nikki here.
It's incredibly unfair to Isaac to only go out with him and marry him when you know you have these strong unresolved feelings toward someone else. On one hand, yeah emotions can be complicated and relationships tricky but you should date/marry someone you unabashedly wholeheartedly want to be with. Not someone you think you're settling for.
Here I am for Week 2 of the blitz! I plan to use the catch up theme for all it's worth lol
Don't have much time today so here's three chapters!
Let's see what happens in the climatic showdown!
Isaac is a scumbag because he's been pretty much gaslighting himself into believing that it's all Gentleman's fault for everything that happened, but the thing I found most interesting was him hiring GR2 to apparently kidnap Gentleman??
Really curious about what kind of deck GR2 has to be called "monstrous"... My theory is that it's either:
1) Full of legendary cards (a bit difficult to run)
2) It uses never before seen cards because they are cards used on GR Island (dun dun dun)! It would make sense for people on TCG Island to have no idea how to counter that, since they apparently have no concept of "new cards".
(I also just realised that they only have Gen 1 cards, just like in the first game, but they know of Ho-oH.... Does GR Island have Gen 2 cards? If it's based on the sequel's game, probably right?
In that case, I'm very excited to see where this is going!)
His deck uses tons of Super Energy Removal and Energy Removal. It also uses Itemfinders to get back more Energy Removal from discard to play them again. It's extremely difficult to build up enough every to attack vs GR2.
I loved this!!! That ability really is busted considering the cards available at the time.
Also interesting that Pokémon centers works like that, I would have assumed you need to remove energy from the Pokémon you are healing, that was smart!!
You wouldn't believe how surprised I was when the AI did that to me in the duel. I honestly didn't think they were capable of it! The duel outcome was part of the reason I chose Nikki to be such an important character in Book One.
So, we have the first of the two big matches, and I like how Gentleman destroyed her but then actually got absolutely demolished in the second match, things got quite tense for a moment there. A seemingly unkillable Venusaur that fires off Solarbeam oneshotting anything in his deck was quite terrifying!
(And made me think of my own Venusaur deck in Pocket lol)
I also liked Nikki going as far as showing him the cards before actually playing them, just so that he has time to connect the dots and realize what is coming.
Vicious lol
So... now I'm thinking of Murray's prophecy. He's technically lost once, so the prophecy could be referring to that, or he could lose once against Isaac too... Really curious to see what strategy Isaac will employ.
Or if Gentleman really does get kidnapped lol
She may think she loved them both but it doesn't seem like it's actually the case... I think she didn't want to admit to herself that she loves Gentleman more
Well, the grass is always greener on the other side. But she also views the fact that she didn't wait as unfair. If she had picked him instead of Isaac before he became Champion, she would have felt like she betrayed Isaac and the role would be reversed.
That's interesting how there's the possibility to do that. It sounds a bit like people would mostly be afraid to "waste" their request and hold on to it because "what if I ask it something and then get something really important I want their opinion on".
Still, that's a really interesting detail...
I wonder if other characters visited it.
Well, this chapter was kinda sad... It was interesting to see Nikki's point of view. She keeps telling herself that she has to devote herself to Isaac and her kids and that the choice of who she married was not in her hands, but it sounds like she actually regrets marrying Isaac a lot, and subsequently feels horrible for it.
Another interesting detail was the mention of the fact that at a certain point, both her and Isaac's skills in the game stopped improving, which I assume led to Isaac also growing increasingly frustrated with Gentleman, since he apparently has never stopped improving.
Other than a cheeky reference to the fact that he is the player character while they are constrained to being NPC, it feels like in universe there is actually something physical that's stopping them from progressing and getting better, leading to stagnation... This plus the Neo Islands clones is making me almost think that the world is in a sort of Matrix situation.
In universe they literally are npcs in a game/simulation led by the Oracle or something like that, and the once in a lifetime visit to the Oracle is basically the Oracle "upgrading" them, but past that simple modification they can't change and improve again?
After grinding through the clubs, we're now getting to meet what seems to be our first serious antagonist. Isaac comes across as genuinely resentful of the Champion. The tension rises throughout the chapter until the very end, doing a good job of keeping the reader going. We have some unexpected stuff happening as well - Isaac punching the protagonist is shocking, as well as going to kick him while he's down and hitting Gotan instead. Obviously we are all hooked on why Isaac is acting so aggressively. His behavior seems maniacal, from incentivizing his underlings with money to, most deviously, using his daughter. You handle the atmosphere well, telegraphing to the reader ahead of time that this is not going to be like the other club challenges.
Now that's unexpected! Why would Isaac do that? Seems petty. If people aren't going to fight the Champion, well, that's their own business! But it's certainly involved to try spreading this idea to people.
Good to see that the Champion is finding and thinking about weaknesses in his deck! This way he can think about new strategies - and we the reader can see new things come up too.
I love how seriously whipping out your deck is treated, brandishing it like a weapon in perfect anime fashion. And love the detail of Isaac having his own mini tarp. They mean business!
His turn came back around and he played a Bill card to draw two more cards. He then used Switch to bring out his Doduo, attached Double-Colorless Energy to it, and attacked with two successful coin-flips for 20 damage!
As for the ploy: opponents don't like to attach energy once their mon is weak past a certain point. Everyone except myself and Doctor Wem seemed to view attaching energy at that point as a 100% waste with no way of it ever being useful in any situation!
Sure enough, both Isaac and Nikki looked completely stumped at that play.
This was something I also noticed when I played the game, but it's interesting (and kinda creepy) how it comes into play here. They literally can't *think* about it.
It's also nice how Gentleman himself notices it. It must be kind of horrifying to see; two people that you have known your whole life, you *know* them so well, and then you watch them just literally.... Kind of shut down and not get it because there's literally some weird blind spot in their mind?
Creepy.
Suddenly, I was reminded of the duel testing that Rick and I had with that Neo Island man! The guy had more than enough intelligence to learn the rules of the game, yet when play was attempted, he couldn't understand how! Was a less severe version of that happening with Nikki and Isaac?! Just what was going ON?! But that was not the time for speculation. Everything was riding on my games...
And for what? Nikki calling his name in her sleep? Even if she ACTIVELY fantasized about him, she was still married to me! Was my issue not becoming Champion? What was that compared to the financial security of my wife and kids?!
Rick smiled. "I've had several ideas to fix this lovely mess you all created. Clearly, an intervention is needed. I'll walk everyone through it step by step. Oh, and Isaac, you aren't going to like this first bit, but it's for your own good."
Mister Gentleman balled a fist towards Rick. It was the same gesture he used to make when getting pumped up for a duel when he was a kid. "I wanted her to have a good time at the park! I was willing to lose my game against her just so she could!"
"I had no idea Wems offer would be the last decent one I would have in years... So here I am, with no worthy romance prospects in sight. Not that any other girl caught my eye like Nikki. Even now, no one catches my attention like that. I'm not sure if I have high standards or if I am just too particular when it comes to women... If only I had known finding love would be so elusive..."
"I did. I had always assumed becoming champion would lead to a happy romance for me, but here I am and there's no romance. Not that any other girl had caught my eye like Nikki. Even now, no one catches my attention. I'm not sure if I have high standards or if I am just too particular when it comes to women..."
RICK OMG. Using his meeting with the Oracle to help his sister and friends awww
So this chapter had the big showdown between the two, and the way that Isaac was defeated only by abusing his inability to see certain plays made by Gentleman was quite interesting, especially for the implications it has about the world at large... Isaac seems to have at least recognised some of his actions as... kinda scummy let's say lol, so that's a good step in the right direction.
This whole thing could have been avoided if they were a polyamourus group.
Rick deciding to go to the Oracle caught me by surprise! It's a really big deal that he's willing to use his one meeting with the Oracle for his sister... But then again, from what I understood of Rick's character, I can't really see him going for the Oracle for anything else? He wouldn't just ask about some random advice or piece of knowledge because as a man of science he would rather look for the answer himself.
On each floor were rows upon rows of wooden bookshelves, lounges, restrooms, museums, and even full restaurants!
A visit to the dome was a multi-day excursion for anyone with a love of the indoors. I heard the science symposium was held here recently too. As such, the area around the dome was a major zone for tourism with various amenities scattered about.
. "You know, the last time I was here was with Ronald during our championship match. Sitting at that golden duel table with the Oracle as a judge was one of the highlights of my life! I have fond memories of this place."
Rick had obviously put lots of thought into today. After all, a visit to the oracle would have to be scheduled in advance! Thankfully, one could involve as many guests as they liked as long as they had a purpose.
I held my arms out. "Surely they have a good reason for it! They have earned our trust, have they not? They don't even try to become the TCG Island Champion! Instead, they focus all their efforts on improving our lives!"
That's kinda nice... But can also be kind of creepy because it implies they watch literally everything you do.
This was an interesting set up chapter, my favourite part was definitely the description of the Dome. It conveys pretty nicely the grandeur of the place, and the fact that it seems to be both a sort of sacred place but also a recreational/meeting spot with museum, hotels and restaurants is pretty unique, it gives it a very particular vibe.
The Oracle feels distant like some kind of watchful all knowing deity, yet at the same time you can just go hang out at the restaurant right next to the place lol
SUDDENLY the screens in the entire room went dark red with a yellow 'WARNING' across! All the sounds of the hill stopped and were replaced by an alarm!
One second Murray was there, and the next, he was gone! Simply vanished!
So this chapter was full of stuff! It's nice that the three could finally talk and clear up all the misunderstandings between them. The kiss between Gentleman and Nikki was really sweet, I liked how you used the countdown to get across how quick and somewhat frantic it was, how they tried to cram the experience of a lifetime in it.
And then than finale!!
Really a great chapter!
Mew sighed. "I put so much effort years ago into getting that camera out into the ocean to record it and even helped the storm along with my power. It looks wicked awesome and you just want me to turn it off?" She rolled her eyes. "...Fine."
Mew looked down and to the ground touching her two index fingers together. "Well... this was back when I was still young... It wasn't long after my awakening. It was about 1,000 years ago..."
I was expecting a lot more.... this feels like something huge happened 1000 years ago that kinda made all that happened before completely lost history...
Classic Pokémon Professor name... I'm starting to think that this world is maybe some post apocalyptic world and there USED to be a lot more Pokémon but they all died off except the legendaries and Doduo, but still leaving the idea of Pokémon behind to create the TCG...
Mew rolled her eyes. "I guess I could give you a little more since you were so nice about my age... The Nexus is where I was found. It has the ability to connect to the great beyond. As for the watchers, they watch from somewhere I cannot reach. I can send messages to them though. Sometimes they even reply!"
Mew laughed. "Oh my! Did you just try to capture ME with a miserably shoddy Pokeball prototype?! I don't even KNOW how many centuries it would take before those might be invented for real!"
Trust Rick to have built a POKEBALL prototype, what a boss.
I'm not sure what happened, this chapter was crazy!! We have something like five lore bombs one after the other: Mew being a thing, Mew being a loli, Mew revealing there's"Watchers" observing everything that's happening... and that they could casually mind manipulate everyone and erase their memories.
They come across pretty well as the classic trickster god that likes to mess with mortals for their own amusement and not much else, but I feel like the story just shifted massively in scope, and that's cool!
Before I wanted to know what was going on on the other Islands, but now this feels even more like there's something incredibly wrong with the world at a very fundamental level!
This ride was already crazy before, but more in a "lol let's play all this game craziness straight", now it's straight up crazy and I'm all in for it.
(Also: highlight of these chapters was Rick telling Mew he finds her "disappointing" lmao)
This was REALLY ominous... I get the sense that Gentleman just had his memory erased right there before he could even finish that thought.
Also, Doctor Wem was totally Mew at this point-
Well that deck of Mew looks kind of scary(also the lore drop that it's from an ancestor of Gentleman??? WOAH), but it's really cool that we get to see Gentleman using his own "legendary" deck! By now the reader kind of understands the game so seeing a different, unrestricted deck creates some really cool hype. It's like when the MC in a shonen suddenly gets all serious(?)
AND NO MORE COIN FLIPS LET'S GOO
I woke to a ray of sun sneaking past the blinds directly onto my right eye. My eyelid did little to help as I was forced awake by the obnoxious light sooner than I would have liked.
My mind felt like it was wearing a warm fuzzy blanket. Deep thought was not very easy in this state, but somehow... I didn't mind. After all, if my brain was able to solve my problems, well, they would have been solved, wouldn't they?
We were both stumbling so we ended up holding hands the whole way to maintain each other's balance. I wasn't ABOUT to let her fall down! I'd go down a HUNDRED times before I would see it happen!
I opened my eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. There was a bookshelf in one direction, crammed full of gardening books along with some on the Pokemon TCG. Some kind of plant structure was above me... no, wait... it was fake vines.
Mitch closed his eyes in shame. "Ah... Michael-san. He lacks discipline. I have been trying to train him as a favor to his mother... She has a very nice rack."
I hadn't realized Mitch had such a one-track mind. I brought my hand to my face. So much for 'honor'. After thinking a moment, I convinced myself that a 'rack' was some kind of exercise equipment. For his display... Surely that was it...
Somehow, Chris was able to start with the one Hitmonchan level 33 in his entire deck. It was the same Hitmonchan card Ronald, the former champion had used to win a game against me. I had no Doduo or Ponyta against him and he proceeded to wreck me with it. I lost within four turns.
Nice callback! And a good consequence for our protagonist, who did not up redoing his deck out of respect for Ronald. Well, he didn't seem to need it since he's able to do replays, but I'm curious to see how the new Venomoth-themed deck will go.
Ah, the hyperloop. Such a magnificent feat of transportation. You sit in a capsule held in place by magnetic forces and are propelled along an extremely long underground pipe devoid of air to cut down on motion resistance. The pipes are kept at low-pressure to aid in speed as well. In theory, the capsule can reach over 700 miles per hour! The Hyperloop entry-point below my garage connects to the central hub. From there, one can visit any club in a matter of minutes!
I like the idea that fashion in this universe relates to the type of Pokemon cards you use. Like it's not enough to have a good outfit; it has to match your deck. Feels very Pokemon-y.
Matthew gave ME a look of pity?! "You mean to tell me that as the Champion you actually use that card? It discards cards! You can't use discarded cards! Professor Oak sucks! I would NEVER put one of those in my deck! No wonder I'm eventually going to become Champion!"
😩 Peak kid logic. Me as a kid going "I don't think growl does anything" and never using status-altering moves.
The chapter with Nikki especially had me She wouldn't happen to have a ten-year-old kid, would she?? If she was already dating Isaac then, she must not have been very happy if she ended up, ah, canoodling with the champion-to-be like that. Too bad he never talked it over with her!
The part about Doduo not dying is tantalizing! Will this come back later? How can Doduo take so many hits and still stay alive? Why do they seem to like it? More mysteries about the relationship between Pokemon and these islands! I also liked the worldbuilding aspect that TCG Island has to import bonsai from Neo Island because they went extinct, and that there's "Neo Island" aesthetics.
I checked out the music this time around! Really gave it the vibe of being a visual novel. The tracks all felt pretty appropriate to the mood without being distracting.
I love how seriously whipping out your deck is treated, brandishing it like a weapon in perfect anime fashion. And love the detail of Isaac having his own mini tarp. They mean business!
This was something I also noticed when I played the game, but it's interesting (and kinda creepy) how it comes into play here. They literally can't *think* about it.
It's also nice how Gentleman himself notices it. It must be kind of horrifying to see; two people that you have known your whole life, you *know* them so well, and then you watch them just literally.... Kind of shut down and not get it because there's literally some weird blind spot in their mind?
Creepy.
So this chapter had the big showdown between the two, and the way that Isaac was defeated only by abusing his inability to see certain plays made by Gentleman was quite interesting, especially for the implications it has about the world at large...
Rick deciding to go to the Oracle caught me by surprise! It's a really big deal that he's willing to use his one meeting with the Oracle for his sister... But then again, from what I understood of Rick's character, I can't really see him going for the Oracle for anything else? He wouldn't just ask about some random advice or piece of knowledge because as a man of science he would rather look for the answer himself.
Rick is a man of science and the truth. The ability to ask questions beyond what he could normally achieve by himself is of great importance to him. But you are correct that he does enjoy discovering and inventing things on his own.
This was an interesting set up chapter, my favourite part was definitely the description of the Dome. It conveys pretty nicely the grandeur of the place, and the fact that it seems to be both a sort of sacred place but also a recreational/meeting spot with museum, hotels and restaurants is pretty unique, it gives it a very particular vibe.
The Oracle feels distant like some kind of watchful all knowing deity, yet at the same time you can just go hang out at the restaurant right next to the place lol
So this chapter was full of stuff! It's nice that the three could finally talk and clear up all the misunderstandings between them. The kiss between Gentleman and Nikki was really sweet,
I was expecting a lot more.... this feels like something huge happened 1000 years ago that kinda made all that happened before completely lost history...
I'm starting to think that this world is maybe some post apocalyptic world and there USED to be a lot more Pokémon but they all died off except the legendaries and Doduo, but still leaving the idea of Pokémon behind to create the TCG...
This chapter gave me such a headache to write. It originally had waaay more lore in it. I really had to scale it back a ton. Quite the painful experience from my end, but I do think it helped it immensely!
True but it can't stay in such a massive scope for very long. This is only Book One, after all. But I did want to tease some elements of the overall series with it.
Before I wanted to know what was going on on the other Islands, but now this feels even more like there's something incredibly wrong with the world at a very fundamental level!
Yeah, it was done that way because I thought I was limited on pictures and I've had a lot of longer chapters around it so I just kind of left it that way. Apologies for the oddness of it, but hey, at least it's a short chapter for blitz!
Nice callback! And a good consequence for our protagonist, who did not up redoing his deck out of respect for Ronald. Well, he didn't seem to need it since he's able to do replays, but I'm curious to see how the new Venomoth-themed deck will go.
I like the idea that fashion in this universe relates to the type of Pokemon cards you use. Like it's not enough to have a good outfit; it has to match your deck. Feels very Pokemon-y.
I also liked the worldbuilding aspect that TCG Island has to import bonsai from Neo Island because they went extinct, and that there's "Neo Island" aesthetics.
I checked out the music this time around! Really gave it the vibe of being a visual novel. The tracks all felt pretty appropriate to the mood without being distracting.
I love love LOVE when people check out the soundtrack!!! It's usually super rare for anyone to tell me about it at all, but I've put so much thought and effort into selecting it. I also want to say that the soundrack only gets BETTER as it goes!
Seriously, Tango,its likely going to be post-blitz, but this will be expanded on later. Enjoy your fic reviewing, and I'll PM you when this is open to be read formally.
Doduo Adventures, full series review,
Can I get points for this?
Nope.
I beta'd it all, thems the rules I can't double dip.
Do I care, also no. Gaining access to the material preemtivly before you all did, and the author attached to said material, was more than worth the potential point loss...
Heya, it took a little bit, but popping in for this as part of our review exchange that I was hoping to chip away at over the course of Blitz, taking us right into…
I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear ending music right off the bat in this chapter.
I never was much of a morning person. My best deck ideas tended to come at night, once all was quiet and the passage of time could escape my notice. There, I could fully immerse in my deck-building craft.
I never used an all-common card deck before. I was going without several powerful staple cards such as Professor Oak and Computer Search. That would make drawing additional cards difficult... Perhaps I would lose more duels than I would win? If that happened, my plan to earn money dueling would fail... But I had made up my mind to give it my best shot! If it failed, maybe my opponents would accept only commons and uncommons?
Well, clearly not completely terribly since this would be a short story otherwise.
I laid in bed, considering the space of my new home. It certainly gave room to breathe, but had an... emptiness about it. Perhaps these halls would someday contain a family I would makeof my own that I’d head? I certainly wasn't opposed to the idea... But alas, I'd never had a girlfriend and found the concept of romance somewhat alien and inscrutable. Indeed, I had never even kissed a girl before…
Huh. Is that sprite custom? But it’s certainly a nice touch there either way.
Also, I’m pretty sure that this is a sign for you to play fewer card games and go on more dates, buddy.
I hadn't the faintest clue how to meet a woman to love, but I remembered my grandfather used to tell me love worth pursuing is love you don't go looking for.
I mean, considering how this setting works, you might as well try getting into a bunch of battles with girls at this rate and see if you can somehow trigger love at first (card) fight.
After a leisurely breakfast, proper grooming, and dressing in my usual red suit, it was time to set out on my newest escapade! Armed with my 'FlashFire!' deck, the members of the Grass Club would be ideal first opponents. The fire in my deck would give me an advantage. To get there, I had an array of transportation options, but since the Grass Club was within walking distance, I chose to stretch my legs a bit and head out on foot!
The brisk morning air and glowing rays of the sun welcomed my foray into the outdoors as I set about my tiny trek to the Grass Club. A fine day for a new adventure!
I’ll admit that I did a double-take at the scene breaks here, especially since the whole “after a leisurely breakfast” part doesn’t really feel like it’s a scene on its own. It might have made sense to just merge it with the scene beginning at “The brisk morning air”. A part of me wonders if it’d have made sense to lampshade that the diary entries would get more elaborate / multi-scened with something to the effect of Jack(?) writing that he’s been having busy days lately and expects to be writing in his diary at different intervals of the day instead of all at the end to ensure that he doesn’t lose his thoughts / memories of what happened in order to look back for card strategies, but maybe I’m overthinking things.
As I strolled along the sidewalk, I enjoyed the various landscapes of the homes. The trees were somewhat disappointing considering how small they were, but it was a new neighborhood, so it couldn't be helped.
I soon arrived at the walking trail which was also a shortcut to the Grass Club! The trail cut through a thick forest with grand, proper trees, unlike the ones from my neighborhood…
So what’s so proper about these trees that weren’t proper about the ones in the new neighborhood again? I kinda wonder if there should’ve been more at least passing mention of what said trees were like. Especially if the trees in the new neighborhood stood out from the natural surroundings like a sore thumb.
Sunlight occasionally filtered down along the dry dirt path, ever changing with the slightest changesof wind pressure. I didn't venture outside nearly as much as one should, but when I did, it was with profound appreciation.
The others in the neighborhood presumably all had busy lives, jobs, and families to care for, which led to the use of the trail being particularly rare. That suited me just fine. A quiet and peaceful excursion never hurt anyone. Sometimes it was good to get away from the hustle and bustle of being a prominent public figure, such as myself.
Would Jack(?) know this from a one-off travel down the trail if he hasn’t been here in the past? It might have been worth changing the framing to something more along the lines of “so (once again) there was nobody else on the trail today” with the paren text added or dropped depending on the protag’s level of familiarity with this place.
As I made my way along the trail, the small occasional wooden plank bridges over various creeks added to the character of it. The sound of the gently flowing water joined with the sounds of occasional birds singing from the treetops. Speaking of birds, sometimes one even saw wild Doduo cutting through! There had been one recently, judging from the tracks across the path.
Ah yes, he’s getting close to joining the plot, I see…
Soon, I arrived at the fork in the trail. After taking the path to the right, it wasn't long until I was met with a break in the trees and a view of the Grass Club! It had a simple brick exterior and standard roof like one might expect a home to have.
I suppose I should apologize to my future self in advance if the description seemed a bit lacking, I didn’t really see a point in bringing it up. The various clubs on the outside were never anything special. I supposed they didn't need to advertise since the Pokemon TCG was already the biggest source of entertainment and way of life in the world. Instead, they focused mostly on interior decor since all the duels would occur inside anyway.
I think that you can potentially get a bit lampshad-ey about glossing over “those details aren’t important, so I’m not putting them in you, diary”. Since while I as a reader would’ve liked to have a bit more detail regarding what the Grass Club looks like, it does make sense that in an in-setting diary that “bruh, it’s a 7-11 clubhouse, they all look about the same” would lead to that getting omitted.
Kinda funny how much a simple change of framing can change the dynamics for what prose needs to work, but I’m not complaining here.
I circled around to the front and took out a handkerchief to dust off my shoes from the small amount of dirt from all but the soles. Being dapper never hurt anyone, and I wasn't going to have the ladies of the all-girl club put up with anything less than my best.
Attire in order, I crossed the threshold of the Grass Club.
In the lobby, I noticed the recently replanted flowers in the flower-beds in the corners. The floor was still bare dirt with a brick path leading straight to the main chamber and off to the left to the lounge.
Neat music is neat there. A part of me wonders if you should’ve potholed specific words in your prose to look visually neater, but I suppose the way you did things makes it easier to get the BGM playing at the moment.
Would it not be better if they planted some grass in this dirt? Perhaps they did not want to maintain an indoor lawn in both this space and the main chamber…
I do wonder if given that this is written as a diary entry where the protagonist is recalling things after the fact, if this is a bit too ‘live-time’ at the moment. Unless if the protagonist is very deliberately scribbling little bits and pieces into his diary throughout the day, in which case, that should be mentioned in passing somewhere.
Ignoring the brick path to the lounge, I forged ahead to the main chamber of the club where the usual duelists would await.
Everything was as I remembered. The brick path led to a large fountain in the middle. A grass path around the perimeter of the fountain was lined with fenced-off bushes. The path continued around the fountain and stretched to meet the back wall, where small pine trees were behind more fencing. The ceiling was a glass dome allowing in natural light.
She was wearing her usual green collared shirt and green hat with a pokeball symbol on it. Her hair was its usual neck-length. She was easily the most tomboyish of the three girl members of the club. She was age twelve, as I remembered.
I feel like your two small paragraphs before Brittany’s portrait feel like they could be merged. And they likely would be merged as part of a diary entry that someone was writing out.
I'm not sure why, but I'd always had a keen eye for ages and for remembering and keeping track of them. Even when meeting new people, I seldom got one wrong! (Come to think of it... I couldn't recall the last time I DID get one wrong!) Guessing ages became a bit of a game for my internal amusement.
When I came up to her, Brittany appeared to be busy laying down some mulch in the fenced-off bushes near the entrance.
I remembered during the last time I set foot here, Brittany was the first to boldly challenge me. That was back when I was still using my fully powered deck, 'Mystic Fire', on the road to becoming the TCG island champion where I had defeated all the members here including Nikki... their Club Master.
She was wearing the standard green Grass Club collared shirt and had her black hair in a ponytail with a green scrunchie. She should be age fourteen according to my memory. Kristin was taking a hose around to the various bushes to water them.
Easily the most feminine of the girls in the club. The spitting image of her mother Nikki, when Nikki was also nine. Heather was sitting on the edge of the fountain reading a gardening book. Just like her mother, Heather loved to read. Because she looked so much like Nikki from long ago, it stirred many feelings in me; adoration, nostalgia, hope... and deep regret.
I’m a little torn on the formatting here. While the name and portrait does feel appropriate for “oh yeah, this is the face associated with this name”, it does break the verisimilitude of “we’re reading someone’s diary entry” a bit.
I think that I’ll call it a wash in terms of its effects here.
Wow, I didn’t know that people made fanart of the PTCG games. I have to wonder how the artist reacted when you asked them if you could pothole their doodle.
Back in those days, I was so driven to become the very best duelist there ever was. I remembered when her and my best friend at the time, Isaac, played the Pokemon TCG together.
View attachment 19679
Those were the best days of my life. So full of possibility and wonder, yet without the full weight of responsibility.
I wanted to ask Nikki out back in those days, but how could I? Talented as I was, I had only attained the lowly rank of Fire Club member. Besides, she even said she would marry me if I became Champion! Granted, she made that promise when we were still children... But I believed in her!
As the years went on, I engrossed myself in my card journey.
Nikki and Isaac were talented in their own rights. They eventually became the masters of their respective clubs, after all! I think the games we played together helped them grow.
But regardless of their prowess and aptitude, they were no match for the speed of my improvement…
I looked this up on BP and apparently these two are actually club masters in the first PTCG game. That’s some impressive attention to detail there. Though does that mean that one day we’ll get a novelized PTCG 1 Let’s Play?
Before I knew it, we were playing the Pokemon TCG with each other less and less. Nikki began to feel distant. Had she hoped I would ask her out prior to me becoming Champion?
Flash forward years later from those days and I learned a sobering truth: Nikki and Isaac... had been dating each other. At that point, I knew our childhood days together had come to an end. Nikki moved on with her life and chose Isaac. In my pursuit of her... I had left her behind…
Sudden Trails in the Sky music jumpscare. I wasn’t expecting that one.
And yeah, should’ve been chasing after Nikki there, buddy.
With my only friends lost to the ravages of time and change, I plowed ahead full force, throwing myself into my studies and learning everything I could about the Pokemon TCG. If I couldn't be with Nikki, then I would become the most powerful champion of all time.
Which, uh… given your current money troubles, is highly debatable as to if that was worth it or not.
Years later, I learned yet another fact: Nikki and Isaac were getting married. We hadn't spoken in years at that point, so the fact that I received no invitation to the wedding was not unexpected, but it hurt in a way I hadn't felt since the day I learned they were dating.
Okay, not that the protag going into his backstory isn’t informative, but I do wonder if it’d have made sense to provide a bit more framing about what suddenly put this on his mind and encouraged him to put it into his diary entry for the day at the start of the scene. For instance, is he killing time while waiting on his next card battle?
I often daydreamed what things could have been like had I just a bit more wisdom and courage back in those days... In all my years, I had felt nothing for the other women of the island like I did for Nikki. They simply couldn't compare...
After the last vestiges of hope to be with Nikki died, there was only the solitary road ahead leading to my recent title of Champion. And I'd be a Doduo's backside feather if I was going to let any duelist stop me. Perhaps after becoming Champion, women would approach me and the rest would fall into place?
Alas, if only it were that simple. If anything, my power at the game only served to alienate me further from the bulk of society. I was approached by some women, but I could tell all they wanted was the Champion rather than me...
So just how many butterflies are in our protag’s stomach with a smile like that on his face anyways?
I gave my best confident smile. "Heather! Today things are far different! I am already the Champion! Today I am here to give your club the first crack at winning against my new all-common card deck; 'FlashFire!'
This once again feels a bit too “live-time” relative to the diary format that this story is rendered in.
I nodded. "Correct. This will make me far weaker than I was the last time we dueled! Today I am looking to duel all three of you with my new common deck."
Heather asked me to hold on, while she walked over to Kristin and Brittany on the other side of the fountain with them having paused in their duties. They huddled together whispering.
[ ] Nikki was tending bushes at the far end of the room as she watched me. Discretely peering through the fence. As I took a quick glance, our eyes locked for but a moment.
Oh, so do they also force you to battle in the PTCG games every time that happens, too? ^^;
Though I do feel like it would make a bit more sense to play up the whole “Oh. Nikki’s here too”-ness, since I’m sure that the protag had some feelings seeing her again.
Ah, Nikki always was a shy one. Perhaps that was part of what I had found so appealing about her. Even now she had a way of captivating me. But it was no use... She was already light-years away now... bound to another man…
Which again, should be giving you quite a bit of pause as to how successfully you’re going to be able to leverage climbing to the top again for being able to get a girlfriend, buddy.
I examined the state of the room. The immaculately trimmed grass and bushes. The cleanliness of the fountain. Nikki knew how to care well for the club and its members. No doubt she made a great mother for Heather... and a great wife for Isaac...
As usual, we would sit down directly on the floor to play.
With my fine attire, I would never be caught without my red compact tarp! I unfolded and spread it over our duel area. As a matter of respect to my opponents, my tarp was always big enough for both players and their cards, plus a little wiggle room for stretching and placing one's hands on the floor to lean back.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting a guy in as nice of duds as our protagonist to just sit on the floor, but I suppose that it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing about these islands and the world that they’re in.
I sat at one end and Brittany took the other side.
She looked off to the side. "Thanks, Mister Gentleman. I wish everyone offered tarps to sit on. My pants usually get pretty dirty by the end of the day..."
I chuckled. "Ah, missing the old and familiar duel table from the lounge? Well, even the Champion takes to the floor for most duels. If I had an office or challenge hall, I would gladly make use of a duel table, but alas, no such place currently exists."
Wait, is this an actual thing that happens in the PTCG games? I’ll admit that I wouldn’t have expected it, since you’d think that professional card gaming would rapidly get uncomfortable without a nice table to sit on.
Brittany sighed. "I was a beginner for a long time and got used to it. I sure was surprised when I learned that, past beginner-level, almost all duelists play on the floor!"
I nodded. "An understandable reaction. I believe Rock Club Master, Gene put it best: To truly show ones resolve at the Pokemon TCG, one must endure the hard ground. Only when one reaches the heights of skill should they return to the tables as a symbol of honor. Even us Club Masters dare not presume to use a table commonly."
Wait, it does? I’m not sure how being on the floor would directly correlate to using a stall deck or not.
Brittany cringed. "Yeah... I guess that's one reason to prefer the floor... Those stall-out deck noob-bashers always duel at the tables where they can tolerate sitting longer. I'll take a sore butt ANY day over having to deal with another one of THOSE duels!"
We both had a good laugh before entering our duel.
As with most duels against opponents of Brittany's rank, there would be only four prizes to claim. Each mon I KOed would let me claim one. When all four were claimed or she ran out of mon, I would win. Had she been the one to seek me out and challenge me, it would have been a six prize game instead. She did walk up to me, but I was the challenger in their club.
We proceeded to game setup. I reviewed my hand:
Lightning Energy x2
Voltorb
Energy Removal
Gust of Wind
Switch
Bill's Teleporter
Since I only had one basic mon in hand, that would go straight to my active mon position where it could deal and take damage. Brittany placed three mon: one in active and two more on her bench, leaving four cards in hand.
Huh. I wonder if we’re going to get an actual honest-to-goodness war story for the card battles this time around, since I remember that being something that I wished was present in the v1 of the story.
Next, the prizes were placed. We each took four cards from the top of our deck to place in the prize zone. Each time we KOed the other's mon, it would let us pick a prize up and add it to our hand.
Hm. Looks like we won’t be getting a full blow-by-blow, though I suppose that makes sense even in a diary-formatted story, since I would not expect a diary-writer to document every single turn used for setup in a card game.
After that was the opening coin-flip to determine turn order. Tails. I would be going second, which was always a disadvantage, but I wasn't worried. I had fire in my deck even though they weren't currently in my hand or in play.
Brittany held up her fist and pulled it down towards her chest. "Oh yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"
Great sign for where this is going to go already. /s
She proceeded to her turn and drew a card, attaching her energy for the turn on her benched Bellsprout. An odd choice considering her Scyther in the active slot was left with none.
I drew my card for the turn: Gambler. So, first order of business would be to draw as many cards as possible. I started with Bill's Teleporter and flipped heads! This meant I drew four cards instead of doing nothing. As for my cards:
Bill
Ponyta
Nightly Garbage Run
Fire Energy
More cards were seldom NOT better to have, so I played Bill next, which let me draw two more cards:
Lightning Energy
Bill
I wonder if it’d have made sense to include some sort of turn tracker in spoilers or something like that. Assuming you didn’t do it at the very end as part of an action log or something like that.
Ah, I did love a good card draw chain! I played the next one immediately:
Fire Energy
Gambler
I do wonder if the card list of what’s getting played / in the hands of the different characters would work better differentiated from the surrounding text a bit more. Some food for thought, anyways.
Brittany crossed her arms. "Don't think you can scare me with all those cards! You can still only attach one energy per turn and you can't evolve any mon the first turn they are placed! Also, you can only attack once per round!"
Girl, this guy is a one-time champion. You sure you want to get this confident right now?
Ah, so typical of my opponents to completely miss the point of having more cards... Additional cards meant more options and making every limited action count. Sure, if one ran out of cards in their deck, they would lose, but that was of no concern in most duels.
My hand still had two Gambler in it, but those were best saved for last or when the hand was out of useful cards. Flipping tails would send all cards back to the deck and then I would only draw one card from it. Not something to use when things were good. Keeping energy off opponent mon was important to prevent attacks, so I played Energy Removal on her Bellsprout, sending her energy to the discard pile.
Oh, so we are getting card battle war stories this go around. Neat.
She was running Grass, so it was best to lead with a Fire type. I played Ponyta from my hand to my bench, but I would need to get it in the active position to attack. Making use of the zero energy retreat cost of my Voltorb, I retreated it to my bench to swap it with Ponyta. Now that Ponyta was in the active position, I attached a Fire Energy to it.
A shame that you didn’t have stills from the emulator when writing this out, since I feel that might’ve helped a lot for visualizing these different card plays that were happening.
I surveyed my cards in hand, but it was all energy or ways to switch around the active mon in play. I decided this would be a good place to end my turn by attacking her Scyther. I COULD have used Fireworks attack to deal more damage, but it involved a coin-flip that would discard my energy if the flip failed, so I settled for a simple Kick attack instead. Due to weakness, the base 10 damage was doubled to 20 damage, bringing her Scyther from 60HP to 40HP.
Ah, I see that someone prefers to play conservatively here.
Brittany drew a card and benched a Weedle from her hand. She then attached another Grass Energy to her Bellsprout and ended her turn.
I drew:
Energy Search
Not particularly useful right now. I attached another Fire energy to Ponyta in case I could evolve it soon or in case energy got discarded by Fireworks. Since she had a Bellsprout with energy, I had a tactic to help get rid of it. I confirmed it had only 40HP and played Gust of Wind to force it to active, putting her Scyther back to the bench. I then used Fireworks for 20 damage doubled to 40 from weakness and flipped heads to keep my energy! Sometimes one COULD have their cake and eat it too!
I feel like the “concealed” doesn’t quite work there. And once again, it is probably worth doing something to differentiate the text of these ‘card list’ parts from the rest of the narration.
Attacking passed it to Brittany and she drew her card for the turn. She placed a Pinsir from her hand to the bench. Weedle was in her active slot. She moved it there right after I KOed her Bellsprout as there must always be an active mon. Brittany attached Grass Energy and used Poison Horn which did no damage, but poisoned instead. Poison did 10 damage in between every turn, but could be removed by evolving or retreating as status effects could only apply to the active mon.
Her turn passed since she attacked and Ponyta took 10 damage. I drew my card:
Energy Removal
Always a nice thing to see. I played it immediately on her Weedle.
I then played a Switch from my hand to retreat Ponyta without paying its energy cost, removing the poison in the process. What's more is that with Weedle having 50HP, I could attack it with Voltorb for 10 damage with Thundershock, maybe paralyze it and then next turn retreat and finish it off with Fireworks! I attached Energy to Voltorb and attacked, flipping a heads which paralyzed her Weedle!
Brittany dragged the fingers of both hands across her face. "Why are ALL your coin-flips heads?! Nooo! Now my Weedle can't retreat or attack for an entire turn! At least the paralysis will go away when I end my turn..."
RNG can be a dick like that. Even if usually it’s not in the player’s favor like this.
She then drew her card and played 'Potion' to remove the 20 damage from her benched Scyther. She then attached a Grass Energy to it. She passed her turn without attacking and the paralysis was removed from her Weedle.
I attached another lightning energy to Voltorb and retreated it for Ponyta. Using Fireworks, which discarded my energy, I KOed her Weedle and claimed another prize:
Bill
Excellent. Card draw in all its forms were welcome indeed!
Not that our protagonist isn’t immediately familiar with the different cards and what they’d do, I kinda wonder if it’d be worth elaborating on what the attributes of these cards are in some capacity. Whether by inserting it into the narration, or something more meta like hovertexting explanations over the different cards the first time they pop up in the story or something like that.
She then brought out her Scyther and benched another Bellsprout for all the good it would do her. What DID do her good, was attaching another Grass Energy to her Scyther and using it's attack:
Requirement: 2 Grass Energy attached
Slashing Strike - 40 damage
Scyther can't use this attack during your next turn. (Benching Scyther ends this effect.)
With my Ponyta only having 40HP at MAX, this was an instant KO. She claimed a prize.
Now that’s more along the lines of the RNG that I was expecting there.
Brittany nodded while smiling. "Awesome! When you use this deck I can actually KO your mon!"
This was a bit of a predicament. I now had one mon remaining: Voltorb. Granted, she could not use her attack again next turn, so it would give me a chance to recover... Running out of mon in play would mean defeat. I drew my card for the turn:
Bill
With two Bill, surely I would draw something of use! I played both of them:
Fire Energy
Pokemon Trader
Dark Rapidash
Pokemon Trader
It wasn't nearly as good as I had hoped, but at least with Pokemon Trader I could get another basic mon played. I swapped Dark Rapidash back to the deck for a Ponyta and played it. I attached Fire Energy to it and attacked with Voltorb's Group Spark for 30 damage bringing her Scyther to half HP.
Ah, alas. Though funny that the very first battle in this story is going to be such a fraught affair.
Brittany drew a card and passed her turn.
As for me, I drew a Dark Rapidash! I wasted no time attaching another Fire Energy to Ponyta and evolving it. Now it had 60HP and an attack for 30 damage! With the fire weakness of her mon, it would become 60 damage. There would be no way for Brittany to win. I retreated Voltorb and KOed her Scyther, earning me my third prize:
Fire Energy
If our protag was less of a gentleman, I could already see him busting out the popcorn right about now.
Brittany decided to go down swinging. She brought out a Bellsprout, attached a Grass Energy, and used Vine Whip for 10 damage.
I drew my card without looking at it and attacked for 30 damage boosted to 60 for weakness to her 40HP Bellsprout, allowing me to pick up the last remaining prize and win the game.
Protag: “Er… no? This was more of a thing that I was doing since I needed to rebuild my savings account.” ^^;
I reassured her that I was certainly not there to hurt any feelings and that my victory likely meant it would do well against the other members of the club too. I also reminded her how she was able to KO my first Ponyta. That seemed to help her feel a little better.
Oh, so she’s still cranky about this at the end, huh? Since losing to an all-common deck has got to sting one’s pride in a society where card games are the end-all-be-all of everything.
She then reached into her pocket and pulled out the two booster packs to give me as my prize. They would fetch a fine price indeed at the local card shop!
Kristin skipped across the room to me. "Even though you won against Brittany, it's STILL a deck of commons! I'm sure you just got lucky! Pretty soon, I'll be able to say I beat the Champion!"
From my memory, Kristin used Ivysaur, Venomoth, Tangela, Scyther, and a slew of normal types in her deck.
The duel with her went much the same as it had with Brittany! Dark Rapidash burned through her mon one at a time until the final prize against her was claimed!
It seemed anything weak to my new deck stood no chance against it! Quite promising indeed.
Ah, so I see that we’re not getting full war stories for each battle. Though I suppose that makes sense from the protag’s perspective, since describing his deck nuking his opponents from orbit in detail sounds like it’d get repetitive after a while.
Heather closed her watering eyes and brought her hand in front of her face. "Oh... ok... I had hoped I might win, but your fire types were too tough. Did I at least help you test your deck?"
My win felt awful even though I had done nothing objectively wrong... Were she my daughter, I would scoop her up in my arms and make the rest of my day about brightening hers. But I had no daughter or family to express such care to…
Protag: “(Also, I kinda need to pay my mortgage, so I’ll just be taking those booster packs, please…)” ^^;
I replied back softly, hoping my feelings of empathy might somehow soothe her. "Of course! All three of you have been helpful. If all goes well, I'll also test my deck against your mother."
Heather rubbed the water drops from her eyes and gazed into mine. "In that case, I have a request. I want you to beat everyone on our island with that deck. If you do, I'll know it wasn't a fluke that I lost. Also... I think it's really neat that you were able to make a deck like that so strong! I'll be cheering for you!" She smiled serenely with her eyes closed.
Is our protag going to be able to convince everyone on the island to try battling him? Since you’d think that word would get around that the ex-Champ is now going around and stomping everyone with a deck of common cards.
Like an arrow through my heart, her words resonated deep within me. How could I do anything but agree?
I smiled broadly. "You're in luck, Heather! Because that is exactly what I intend to do!"
Not convinced that things are really going to be that easy, but duly noted there.
My time in the club was short indeed. All-commons or not, a type advantage was type advantage. They were crushed by my Dark Rapidash, but not nearly as badly as when I had used my old unrestricted deck. They at least had a theoretical chance against 'FlashFire!', but not when I used to play with Mystic Fire.
That, and I’m pretty sure that the protag isn’t ready to navigate all those ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda’s regarding his once-fling with Nikki right here and now. ^^
Alright, I’ll be leaving things here for now given the wall time. Though once again, I have to commend you for doing a story built around the TCG games. It’s a really unique premise in general and by and large it’s been executed quite well from what I’ve seen of this story so far. I also thought that the diary format was a lot more engaging to read than the one that you used for the v1 of the story, and it basically gives you a convenient out for when things go into detail and when things reel said detail in as needed. I can’t tell how much of that is deliberate or a happy accident, but I did notice it. Also, once again, your multimedia game is on point, since the embedded images and audio added a lot to the reading experience.
On the more critical end of things, I did find myself wondering if a few sections of the chapter were going a bit far out on a limb relative to what one would write in a diary, especially the ones that read more like entries from a liveblog. I feel that there’s a few things that you can do to smooth them over and make them still fit your format (see: the throwaway suggestion of adding a note in passing that the protag would be making multiple entries during the day for the diary entries that start getting into multiscene territory). A part of me also wonders if things would’ve been better for the story to include a few emulator screencaps showing the state of play for these different games, since it was admittedly a bit hard for me to visualize the state of the protag and his opponents’ decks sometimes. I also think it would’ve potentially been worth it to include some meta explanation of what the cards are and what they do, whether in the narration, or by blunter methods such as hovertext notes. Also, I thought it’d have been worth having more differentiation between the text for the card listings and the text format used for the rest of the story, since as it stands, they kinda blend together a bit visually.
But altogether, I had fun with this chapter. I’m not really sure why things are clicking for me so much more this time around, but I really do feel that it boils down to the subtle but important change in how the story is currently framed compared to your v1. I hope that the feedback was helpful for you, @Tango , and I’ll be looking forward to chipping away a bit more at our review exchange in the not-too-distant future.
I nodded. "He did, but he wasn't able to claim a single prize against me after five games. After that, he told me he was done playing the Pokemon TCG with me. Nikki didn't want to play anymore either. She preferred grass types which were weak to the fire I used. Since we had nothing else in common, we stopped spending time together."
I felt a tightness in my chest as I frowned. "I would have liked a way to spend time with her after that point, but things had ended a bit awkwardly and I didn't know what else I could suggest... I hadn't intended for us to go so long without spending time together," I felt my eyes begin to water, "One week became two. Two weeks became two months... As the length of time increased, so did the awkwardness of trying to break the stalemate... Before I knew it, we had gone years without meeting up..."
On the far end of the room at the top of the steps loomed the shadow of a man, lit from behind by a long small platform along the back wall with both stars and hearts lights. He leaned against the small platform with his hands in his pockets... Isaac... But he was not my focus today.
"Yes, lets talk about lies. Like how you lied about winning against Jennifer."
I could hear Jennifer speak up. "Daddy...? What do you mean?"
"My poor little girl... He didn't duel you seriously. He was making fun of you. Since you didn't really win, I can't take you to the amusement park now. I'm sorry sweetie, It's out of my hands now. If you're upset, I understand, but don't blame Daddy, ok? It's the Gentleman's fault."
...It's like he wasn't even the same person anymore... My friend Isaac from long ago was gone! In his place was something completely unrecognizable... Something dark...
Chapter 11 was pretty tense. It makes sense when you consider that Isaac as a character has been built up in his absence, so when we finally get to meet him, it's got this weight behind it. And him throwing a real wrench to the Gentleman's plans and also weaponizing his daughter makes him pretty intimidating.
Chapter 12's reveal of the Gentleman having spent a night with Nikki and, you know, having the thing you wake up naked from came as a pretty big surprise to me. I'm not sure if I'm just misremembering since I've read the previous chapters across such a long time, but the Gentleman always struck me as kind of a loser with women. Good for him, though. Well, not good that he never spoke to Nikki after that, but small victories still count.
That's all I have for now. See you in this thread whenever I end up reading further again, and good luck writing onward!
I played Growlithe as my active mon. I knew I would need to get another mon out quickly, but I had all the card-draw I needed to make sure that happened.
With my setup complete, Mew completed hers: Abra set as active, Mr. Mime with the damage shield was benched. Mew also won the opening coin-flip to go first...
For some reason, my head was cloudy... I attached Fire Energy to Growlithe. My hand was now out of energy... I needed more.
I had a computer search in my hand. What did I want to do with it? I needed more energy... so I played it to dig out Double-Colorless Energy from my deck. Shouldn't I have held onto it and just played it later? Why didn't I play it first and attach Double-Colorless to Growlithe? I could have attacked... Did I make a mistake? No... if she used Energy Removal, it would be gone. It's only the first turn, it would be ok... But why didn't I consider all my options before playing it?
Given our relationship, I don't think that would be appropriate. People might get the wrong idea. I can't afford to tarnish my reputation with what others might see as an unbalanced relationship."
His only regret was that by leaving me I would have no family left until I made a new one. For me, he said my happiness would come from friends, family, and love. His final words to me came later and were wishing me luck in those endeavors.
Interesting how his grandfather had him completely figured it out already, and didn't mention the TCG at all there.
Reading this chapter was painful, Mew has been obviously messing with his head and making him play sloppily, but he can't even realize it!
Also I really liked that list of disjointed actions, all broken and mechanical as he goes through the motions of playing his turn. Someone familiar with the game can clearly spot was is wrong with it, I'm not sure what the experience would be with a reader that doesn't know much about the TCG...
And I'm not sure that Rick and the others being able to see the match would even help, because probably *they* would have the same mental block that stops them from noticing it!
And then that final condition... DON'T TOUCH MY BOY RICK MEW.
And even if he wins... I don't see a way out for Gentleman here.
Man, I have absolutely ZERO idea of what will happen next!!
Mew is starting to get really easy to hate lol, "bored deity playing with mortals" is one thing, but she's not even playing fair!!
It took me a moment to remember that psychic cards were weak to themselves in general in Gen 1 because they also covered poison and bug. Gen 2 introducing Dark at least changed that
My 5th turn came around. I benched a Growlithe and attached a Double-Colorless Energy to it. I then swapped her active mon with Gust of Wind and attacked her Abra with Moltres! A successful coin-flip brought 70 damage to KO her Abra! I then claimed another prize card.
Ah, maybe she was just sad at not having an opponent like me to duel again in the future... An understandable notion, though I was sure she could just find Wem to play...
I recognized her new body. Even without the glasses and lab-coat, she now had the form she used as Dr. Wem. She had her usual orange hair but was wearing a black sleeveless top and a black choker with a red gem in the middle.
I was admittedly expecting her to look quite a bit older, in her thirties/forties even, so this was a surprise lol
So, this chapter was quite tense with the turn by turn play of the final match between Mew and Gentleman, and I liked that part a lot.
The whole part about Mew actually not wanting to kill people and her whole personality being a mask and having feelings for Gentleman however fell a bit flat, at least for me.
It feels like we as the reader haven't known Mew as a character for enough time for the emotional impact to quite land: she shows up, she start acting high and mighty and threatening to kill all the worthless mortals and bla blah, why should I, the reader, care about her then crying and suddenly saying she feels bad about people dying and leaving her behind?
I can understand it logically, but emotionally it didn't quite affect me, because I care more about the main character I've spent almost thirty chapters with.
I'm still however curious about *why* she then is doing all this, and what is going to happen, but if the intent was to make Mew look sympathetic to the reader, then at least for me it didn't quite work, mostly because that kind of character arc simply requires a little bit more time to be shown well.
(Or maybe that's just me not vibing with that type of characters in general lol)
There were still lots of interesting bits in this chapter: Mew calling Gentleman by some name he can't remember makes me think there's a lot more to those two.
Maybe it's the name of his ancestor she got the deck from and he's a reincarnation or something like that.
I put a fist in my hand. "Ah! I see where you are going with this. The oracle only allows Neo Island citizens to live here dependent on them working jobs that TCG Island citizens don't want. No one wants their kid to have to work as a lowly receptionist after all!"
Damn, the UBI-giving oracle really has a strong idea of what good and bad jobs are, huh. Little judgmental on the part of the all-knowing powers that be.
Rick nodded. "Exactly! Granting work visas for that frees our citizens to do more fulfilling and challenging work and provides incentive for our young to aspire to higher education. If one of our citizens lack the intelligence or motivation, they can always live on UBI. As for the Neo Island immigrants, they are always free to return to Neo Island whenever they want. The oracle even stated it would pay for their airfare."
Wow! Okay, now this I did not see coming! So they literally really do all look the same! Which raises all sorts of horrifying questions about who is cloning people for the purpose of having them do low-status jobs TCG Islanders want!
So the Neo Islanders are apparently constitutionally incapable of understanding Pokemon battling. And also really quick to fawn when anyone's mad at them, which is... pretty sad. I don't know if they've been taught that or if they've been genetically engineered to do so, but it's brutal either way. I guess Rick must have noticed as well because he knelt down right away.
Amy blinked and then cringed. "Oh... uh... ew... I was just finishing..."
Rick gave me a subtle wink from the side.
It would seem Amy didn't go for a Club Master if it they were from a club weaker than hers. Perhaps she didn't go for the nerdy types either? Whatever the case, clearly she was NOT attracted to or interested in Rick...
Amy sat up. "Mr Gentleman... why is that dweeb with you?"
It was a sobering reality... If I was good enough to become champion with allcommons, it meant that I trained considerably more than I needed to become Champion... It meant I might have had enough time to have a chance with Nikki before she was married...
He still doesn't get it! He never needed to become champion - he only needed to be honest with Nikki! He still thinks his value is in winning, although I guess it's a step forward that he realizes that he probably trained more than necessary.
Either way, it's probably everything he learned on the way to become champion that allowed him to create an all-common deck that won.
As Murray had foretold, this duel was not an easy one. His Mewtwo proved most troublesome. It was aided by a version of Mr. Mime which prevented all weaknesses and resistances from functioning.
This meant I could not rely weakness conversion with Porygon and Porygon's usual resistance against psychic did nothing!
Since I couldn't bring down Mewtwo with one hit, it KOed multiple of my mon before going down! Even then, Murray still had his Kadabra to fall back on. He almost claimed the win against me, but I was able to bring down Kadabra just in time.
The power of the TCG is such that Pokemon that are normally not impressive such as Mr. Mime and Porygon become these big threats. It really challenges your pre-existing associations with each species!
I noticed the room had changed since my last visit. The padding in the room appeared to be thicker and there was a display rack now added to the corner with Neo Island katanas in it. There was also a Neo Island clon- I mean immigrant woman kneeling down scrubbing in-between the hardwood floorboards.
Hmm, so the clone appears to be the mother of one of the boys... I wonder if he's the one who has no distinguishing features?
A touching conversation with Gene! I'm glad that our protagonist has come to understand that, weird as he is, Rick has been there for him throughout the story. I mean, he was both his wingman and his anti-wingman (though he did the most there...). I hope our protag will also come to recognize that Tango, the Doduo formerly known as Gotan, has also been there with him too. He underestimates Doduo, but we the audience know better. :)
These chapters have also had some very interesting developments. The relations between Neo Island and TCG Island have become more important, as has the Oracle. Why is everyone from Neo Island a clone? Are there even people left there? I notice that Neo Island aesthetics are associated with more traditional styles of clothing as well.
You... what??? In the TCG world you would probably be just as feared as Red in your Hunter Haunted fic!
Oh man... that's so funny though! You stumbled on a thing that I plan to do in Book Five. EATING CARDS. I'm not even joking. It's going to do stuff TOO!
Chapter 11 was pretty tense. It makes sense when you consider that Isaac as a character has been built up in his absence, so when we finally get to meet him, it's got this weight behind it. And him throwing a real wrench to the Gentleman's plans and also weaponizing his daughter makes him pretty intimidating.
Chapter 12's reveal of the Gentleman having spent a night with Nikki and, you know, having the thing you wake up naked from came as a pretty big surprise to me. I'm not sure if I'm just misremembering since I've read the previous chapters across such a long time, but the Gentleman always struck me as kind of a loser with women.
Thanks can! I love that you pop into catnip so often. You are making some real progress in my fic from that and your generosity to review multiple chapters. You are greatly appreciated here. I look forward to seeing you next time!
Also I really liked that list of disjointed actions, all broken and mechanical as he goes through the motions of playing his turn. Someone familiar with the game can clearly spot was is wrong with it, I'm not sure what the experience would be with a reader that doesn't know much about the TCG...
And I'm not sure that Rick and the others being able to see the match would even help, because probably *they* would have the same mental block that stops them from noticing it!
It took me a moment to remember that psychic cards were weak to themselves in general in Gen 1 because they also covered poison and bug. Gen 2 introducing Dark at least changed that
The whole part about Mew actually not wanting to kill people and her whole personality being a mask and having feelings for Gentleman however fell a bit flat, at least for me.
It feels like we as the reader haven't known Mew as a character for enough time for the emotional impact to quite land: she shows up, she start acting high and mighty and threatening to kill all the worthless mortals and bla blah, why should I, the reader, care about her then crying and suddenly saying she feels bad about people dying and leaving her behind?
I can understand it logically, but emotionally it didn't quite affect me, because I care more about the main character I've spent almost thirty chapters with.
This is making me think it might be a good idea to include her as an actual character in previous chapters rather than just have mentions of her peppered throughout them. But that takes away from the impact of her return... If you have some ideas or suggestions, I'd be curious.
but if the intent was to make Mew look sympathetic to the reader, then at least for me it didn't quite work, mostly because that kind of character arc simply requires a little bit more time to be shown well.
Hmmm. Well, it wasn't quite to make the reader sympathetic to her considering how she is going through with murder regardless, but I did want it to show there is more to her than the surface.
There were still lots of interesting bits in this chapter: Mew calling Gentleman by some name he can't remember makes me think there's a lot more to those two.
